The Criterion And The Independent (Bartlesville, Okla.), Vol. 16, No. 51, Ed. 1 Friday, April 2, 1920 Page: 2 of 6
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THE BARTLESVILLE CRITERION
FIND THE CAUSE!
' It Mat ngti to 4n< imeitut
ii—shU b.lt uck 4 tad oat «4»t i»
i:.ikiti| yow feel ee bed!) and try to
ninect u. Perhaps jowr ki lmn in
that tkrabbui UcUcts ar
thoar ihtrp, its!4iin| pats*. Yoa But
bate nurimf Isuimsii, too. bead
». bee, duty spells aad irregular kid-
mr\ uim. Urn Itomn'» Kidney Pill*
TUr) Save belpei thousands of ailing
lulks Ask youi neighbor'
Aa Oklahoma Case
Uri Kd RoM. ©
Js fourth lit I*on-
iu i .1) < >i la »;«>•
’ ' I .after*! eevere-
1 y from kidney
trouble M) bands
•mcll«,l until they
tM-i-ame lerv more,
and when I tout hed
them It left an Im-
print My anklea
• welled so ba.lly
that aonietlmea 1
rouhln't put my
• Iowa on 1 also
had terrible palna
through the amall
of my bark that felt aa If somethin*
•aa cutting ne I used a bos of
Doan's Kidney PlUa and I felt like a
new person '•
Cat Deaa'f at Aey Star*, SOe a Boo
DOAN’S V.11V
POSTER - M1LBUKN CO, BUFFALO. N. Y.
INDIGESTION
Caused by
Acid-Stomach
Miliums of ppoplt—la fscf a bout • out of
It—suffsr mor# or from Indlcrailoa.
scut* or Chronic Nearly ovsry cuf U
cause<1 by Aeltl-Momarh.
There are other etomach disorders whlcb
Sleo are sure elsne of A«Ul-Wa«»*krl» -belch-
ln|, heart t urn, bloat after eat inn. food re-
peat ln« sour, gassy atotiiach. There are
many ailments which, while they do not
cause much distress In the stomach itself,
ere. nevertheless trscesltle to an acid-
stomach Among these are nervousness,
biliousness, cirrhosis of the liver, rheums
tlsm, impoverished blood, weakness. Insom-
nia, melancholia and s long tram of phys-
ical and mantel miseries that keep the
victims In miserable health year after year.
The right thing to do le to attack these
ailments at their source—gel rid of the n< ld-
etomarh. A wonderful modern remedy called
EAToNIC now makes It easy to do this.
Oas of hundreds of thousands of grateful
users of KATONIC writes "I have been
troubled with Inteetlnal Indigestion for about
nine years and have spent quite a sum for
medicine, but without relief After using
KATONIC for n few days the gas and pains
In my bowels disappeared. EATONIC Is just
the remedy I needed.”
We have thousands of lstteri tolling of
those marvelous benefits. Try KATONIC and
yon. too. will be just ns enthusiastic In its
Your druggist has EATONIC Get a big
10c hoi from him today He will refund
your money if you are not satisfied.
PROBLEMS FACING'
STRICKEN WORLD
Shall Chaos or Reconstruction in
Europe Follow the Great
World War?
RADICALISM IN THE SADDLE
E
ATONIC
TOR y6ur acid-stomach
To abort & cold
and prevent com-
plications, take
The purified and refined
calomel tablet* that are
nausealess, safe and sure.
Medicinal virtues retain-
ed and improved. Sold
only in sealed packages.
Price 35c.
% ITCH!
Money buck without question
If HUNT’S 8AI.VE fail* in the
treatment of ITCn. ECZEMA.
RING WORM,TETTER orother
Itching ekio diseases. Price
75c at amggiiita, or direct from
ISbcliargB ■Micia* Co tktraaa Til
HOW TO
GET RID OF
CONSTIPATION
It’s arri'i— and dangerous to
setter (ran a dogged op system
because It often lays the founda-
tion for u lifetime of misery and
DR. Tirrrs LIVER PILLS
fait— one or two at bedtime,—
quickly eliminates all poisonous
waste matter from the system
and sluufttira the Bowels.
Dr.Tutts
Liver Pills
Cuticura Soap
•is IDEAL-
For the Hands
Seep ZSc, Oiatmeat 25 and 50c, Talc— 25c.
FRECKLES eSsSSrS
“MONEY." WHY NOT MAKE KHK MONK
KAKN MOKKT H> pay 1% on Tin,. i>r
no.It. which are Kna.rnm.nl by our slut
On.ranter Fund Writ, today. SECURH
STATE HANK. Dowry. South Dakota.
Without a Definite Program, People
Everywhere Are Demanding a
Change In Prevent Conditions—
Threat of "Direct Action.”
Article XI.
’ By FRANK COMERFORD..
Radlcnliain in Kuro|te !■ rampant.
The workers are active, the middle
Haas sympathetic. The Industrial
centers are hotbeds. The conservatism
of the farmers and peasants la break-
ing down. It Is hard to define this
radicalism—It Is without form. It
Isn’t a definite program. It Isn't even
imlltlcal. Tlie people are dissatisfied.
The red flag la popular. It promises
a short cut. It answer* the cry of the
impatient. I was surprised to see
many of the very men who fought to
gallantly under Ihelr country's fiag
and who hut yesterday would have
torn the red flag from the flagpole,
now defending It, carrying It anil fol-
lowing It. I am sore they do not know
what the red (lag stands for. To them
It represents a protest against things
aa they are. Summed up In a word,
the attitude of mind of the workers
of Europe Is eagerness for a change
—some change—any change. Every
one knows the symptoms, understands
what Is wrong, hat the remedy Is only
vaguely discussed.
I attach much significance to the
new attltnde of organized labor In
Europe. Labor union* formerly con-
remed themselves with wages, terms
of employment, shop conditions, safety
appliances, recognition of their right
of collective bargaining. Since the
Bear the labor movement has taken up
questions entirely outside of its field,
questions properly the concern of all
the people, question* of government
policy. I have In mind recent de-
mands made by the working men In
England. France and Itnly. These de-
mands were addressed to the regularly
and properly elected representatives
of the people, the governments. They
were accompanied by threats of gen-
eral strikes if they were not acceded
to. This step Is an Innovation; it Is
revolutionary.
The working men are citizens and
have a voice In the government equal
with all other citizens. After the peo-
ple have selected their representatives,
the men chosen should he responsible
to all of the people without regard to
class or station. A government by one
portion of the people Is autocratic.
Government of the people, for the peo-
ple, and by the people, means all of
the people. The effort on the part
of a minority In the labor movement,
who challenglngly call themselves so-
cialists, to dictate to the state, repre-
senting all of the people. Is an attack
upon democracy. If successful It
would destroy the state and leave the
great majority of the people. Including
the workers, less free than they are
now. What sane man, whether he Is
a working man or not. Is In favor of
minority government!
Demands Hard to Understand.
I witnessed many demonstrations In
Europe under the red flag. In which
the leaders demanded three things
from the government.
First, they demanded the release of
all the men In Jail who were held for
political crimes. These Included men
found guilty of sedition and treason
during the war. I cannot understand
this demand. Why should men be re-
leased from Jail who sought to stab
In the back the men who went to the.
trenches to fight and die for freedom?
I should much prefer to see all of the
burglars released. If I am compelled
to choose between the traitor and the
burglar. I w ill have no trouble In mak-
ing ray decision.
Second, they demanded that no sol-
diers be sent to Itussia. The agitation
on this point was so strong that when
the British government attempted to
send soldiers to Russia last summer
(1919), the soldiers mutinied, and so
far as I am able to learn the feeling
was so strong, the situation so critical,
the government did not dare court-
martial them.
Third, they demanded that all con-
scription laws be abolished.
It is apparent that these demands,
coming from a minority, backed by a
threat, constitute an Invasion of the
rights of the people. The question
Isn’t whether or not one believes these
things should be done; the issue Is the
method resorted to. Personally I do
not believe soldiers should be sent to
Russia. In my opinion allied Inter-
meddling has been stupid and harmful,
but If these matters of general public
policy are to be decided, all of the
people should have a vote In making
up the verdict.
When you consider this new atti-
tude of labor In conjunction with the
growing popularity of “direct action,"
It Indicates that the labor movement
Is losing faith in law and political ac-
tion. I am not saying that their ex-
perience with politics, their betrayal
by men they have supported, the de-
fault of political parties to carry out
pre-election pledges, may not be re-
sponsible for a distrust In political
government. I am not denying that
capital has had the ear of government
mors thsr It should; that property has
been gives more thought than hitasao
beings. I am concerned with the dan-
ger that the— imnoiations promise, a
danger to the working utea themselves
a oieiiace to law and order, without
which no one In secure, without which
there ran be no freedom.
Political Action Called Failure.
I heart] a apeech In Ixndon that
deeply impressed me. It was applaud-
ed by several thousand men and wom-
en—average givod British working |eo-
ple. Most of the men wore service
budge*. The speaker, a clean young
Englishman of about thirty-five, said:
"Political action is a failure. We
vote and we are betrayed. I’olltlcal
parties are the ageuts of bauda of
capital. Their purpose la to keep the
workers apgrt. knowing that divided
we are powerless. The only time they
are willing we should unite I* when
war calls (or men. What did we win
in the war? Nothlug. We thought we
had a stake In the game, that the bond
we were playing was our own. Now
that it Is over we have discovered that
we won nothing.
''What did the working man ever
gel by voting, except the worst of it?
The word vote comes from a Latin
word, meaning ‘to wish.' Who ever got
anything hy wishing?
“We are like the etory In Bellamy’s
‘Looking Backward.’ You remember
he spoke of a coach. On top of this
coach the capitalists sit In the sun-
shine enjoying the ride. On the side
of the coach, hanging by their finger-
nail* and toenails are the hundreds of
thousands who make up the middle
class. Millions of men are pulling the
conch. They are sweating and trudg-
ing—they are the working men. Run-
ning along the side of the coach are
millions more, fighting to get a chance
to get hold of the rope and pull the
coach. They are the Idle. There Is
only one thing to do. That I* to stop
pulling the coach, let go of the rope.
Don't wish about It; do It. The fellows
on the top of the conch don’t do any
wishing—they boss and drive.”
The crowd cheered. There Is some
truth In the speech. It Is true that
the working man has not had a square
deal, hut the fact that he ha* not had
fair treatment does not make the plan
of direct action a sane, wise plan.
Revolution would only lead to blood
and disorder and leave the very men
who revolted In a worse plight than
they are now. The millions who are
the mnjorlty have an Infinitely better
weapon than force. They have the
ballot. They are In the majority. Men
must think their way out of the wil-
derness. They cannot fight their way
out. When they try to they go deeper
In.
Bolshevism Finding Favor.
I found the word bolshevism In the
minds and on the lips of the working
people of Europe. I expected to find
them antlholshevlk If for no other rea-
son than that bolshevism came from
Russia and the bolsheviks made peace
with Germany while the allies were in
a death struggle with her with the re-
sult In doubt. I found them confess-
ing their faith In bolshevism, speaking
of It as a new religion, resenting the
obstacles their own governments had
placed In Its way.
In Ireland, the last place I expected
to find a leaning toward bolshevism. 1
found an open devotion to it. The Irish
people are In many respects the most
conservative In the world. The only
radicalism they have ever shown Is the
revolutionary spirit expressed In up-
risings for freedom. The Irish are a
people of reminiscence and tradition.
The Celtic mind Is devoted to form
and custom. I was present at the Irish
Federation of Labor convention held
in August, 1919, at Drogheda. The
delegates to this convention, repre-
senting 300,000 union men and women,
went on record almost unanimously
for bolshevism. I later learned that
few of them. If any, knew exactly
what bolshevism was. I asked a lead-
ing spirit of the convention If he be-
lieved In communism, tbe abolition of
the private ownership of property,
and he said, “Of course not; that’s
rank nonsense; socialism; Impossible
and Impractical.” The pro and con of
bolshevism has from the beginning
been partisan and prejudiced. Work-
ing men are bolsheviks because em-
ployers are against It, and employers
are against It because the men are for
It
(Copyright. 1920. Weatsrn Newspaper Union)
A MOTHER'S EXPERIENCE
Houston Texas —“After tbs sdrrwt •
•ws oi way bobts* ay health be sms very
poor. 1 was sattow sad so weak I coulc
tut do anything
could wot sal
T|'/ (• 4 ar sleep, and
• as a o t b i a i
abort of • pb*
aieal wreck
u ben s fr«nd
advised ms to
try Dr Pierre's
WW > ’ \ V T lk*( rite Pra-
ia O/nTt'V-' scr i p t i o a 1
C J I I 1 \ \ took aeversl bot-
|\ J • tl< - but it wts
wall worth it,
far it completely
rest ored ms to
good health My
•dvicp to women
wb> auffer is to
give Fsvorito Piwseriptioe' • trial, it will
ourelv help them.”—,'* J. E. L. Brown,
2414 Freeman St.
San Antonio, Tessa —“After a serious
fllnew. when my strength seemed ss
though it would not come back to me.
I derided to try Dr. Pierce's Favorite
Prescription as • tonic. I had seen it
advertised and recommended ao highly 1
that I felt 1 could not go far astray. I
Tina medium* did all for me that could {
be desired. It restored me to perfect j
health and strength in a comparatively !
short time, and I am just at strong and ;
well aa can be. ‘Favorite Prescription’ is j
n splendid tonic and builder for women,
and it is a pleasure to me to recommend
it.”—Mrs. Hettie Me Lane, 3o8 Bowie St.
Houston. Texas.—“When I had become
a!) run dt n. weak and nervous and waa
feeling miaerable all the time I took Dr.
Pierce'* Favorite Prescription. It was
only necessary for me to take two bottle*
to build me up in health and strength, i
'Fhvorite Prescription' is an excellent tonic
for women.”—Mr*. F. E. Gouge, 2615 N.
Main.
LftDDKJ EVENING
nn
YOU WOULDNT TRY
TO TAME A WILD-CAT
. — bONNERj
1 •vs** I
Mr. Dodson Warn* Against Uae wf
Treacherous, Dangerous
Calomel.
Sure,
Relief
UTS
19
ret-
ip p< 'thing, he* in* i<enetr*t-
I ret' ml) t*ke« *11 »T tfir MU*rt
log p*u tit of Mims »*'*i<le t uts
ruralns etc., and quirk?) t **ie
tn* mj (let * Nkr or 70u buttie
|''-l*y fr in your druggist
_ HUNTS
UatlTMINC3 OIL
STORAGE
BATTERIES
for All Makes
of Cars
Write or Wire
METROPOLITAN
ELECTRIC SERVICE
COMPANY
5th at Robinson Street
Phone Maple 83
OKLAHOMA CITY, OKLA.
Rost
for your HIDES ▼
Crawdoi Beflers Beal local Ollrr
lor HORSE ar CATTLE HIDES
8**n<la money i*rr.*» day b i !**s rfA • fi
h**rr. <*et hhlppin* lags and price
lint. Square deal; top of market
gj^B jnarantet-d. 1‘rgent demand now
^^B fur hides, wool. |telts, small fur*.
%CR«WDUS
SOI U9T GRAND
fsbb
guu*
Duty Before the World.
Millions of gnllant young men have
fought for the new world. Hundreds
of thousands died to establish It If
we fail to honor the promise given to
them we dishonor ourselves. What
does a new world mean? What was
the old world like? It was a world
where toll for myriads of honest work-
ers, men and women, purchased noth-
ing better than squalor, penury, anx-
iety and wretchedness — a world
scarred by slums and disgraced by
sweating, where unemployment through
the vicissitudes of Industry brought
despair to multitudes of humble
homes; a world where, side by side
with want, there was waste of the In-
exhaustible riches of the earth, partly
through Ignorance and want of fore-
thought, partly through entrenched
selfishness. If we renew the lease of
that world we shall betray the heroic
dead. We shall be guilty of the basest
perfidy that ever blackened a people’s
fame.—David Lloyd George.
(jQyactt+vUytM ,
KING PIN
PLUG TOBACCO
Known as
“that good kind”
cIry ii-and you
will know why
MISS PENGUIN REFUSES.
Sir. Johnny Penguin smoothed dotm
his feather* with great care, for ha
waa going a calling. He looked around
the beach and then gated keenly far
out upon the ocean. He strutted
around a moment or two and then
looked about liltn again.
”What Khali I take her?” he asked
hlniaelf. There were plenty of other
penguins around w hum he could have
asked for advice hut he didn't want
anyone's advice, lie wanted to decide
the question himself. The only thiug
waa that b« didn't quite know bow to
answer his own question. That waa
difficult, yes. It most certainly was
difficult.
“I might,” he said to himself, ”tuke
her an ocean wave. That would be a
present such aa no penguin has ever
had before and It would he sure to
please her. liut I do nut know how to
get the wave for her. Aa soon aa I
got It another might come along and
take It away from me. That la a trick
wuvea have of fkd'ig.
“I know.” he continued to hltnself,
“I will ask her If she would like a
wave for a present. I will leave It to
her to decide. That Is what I ahull do,
ye* air. that la what I shall do.”
8o he picked up a stick he found
U|n)ii the bench and strutted along in
a very proud and haughty fashion.
“With my flue walking cane no one
can resist me,” he said.
As he walked along with his hend
high In the air he thought of what a
lovely home he would have with Miss
Penguin, for he was going a-calllng
on the loveliest Miss Penguin on the
whole Island.
At one time he looked down and
saw a tine stone, smooth and quite
perfect.
"This will Just do for her,” he said,
“for Miss Penguin must be given an
engagement ring If 1 am to ask her
to marry me. She will expect It and
she will accept It, ha, ha,” and he
gave a laugh of Joy.
At last he reached the spot where
Miss Penguin was standing.
“How fine and straight she stands,”
he said to himself, and then he
•topped right In front of Miss Penguin.
“I've corne to see you. Mis* Pen-
guin," he wild, “and I want you to be
my mate. Here U the engagement
ring 1"
lie dropped the stone In front of
her. She certainly could not refuse It.
But Miss Penguin looked In another
direction and did not pay any atten-
tion to the stone.
“Miss Penguin," he said, “will yon
not accept me as a mate? I will give
Calomel salivate* 1 It's mercury.
Calomel act* like dynamite oti a slug-
gish liver. When calomel come* Intw
contact with sour bile it crashes Into
it, causing crumping and nausea.
If you feel lillimi*, headachy, consti-
pated and all knocked out. Just go to
your druggist and get a bottle of IhxV
son's Liver Tone for a few cents which
1* a harmless vegetable substitute for
dangerous calomel. Take a spoonful
end If it doesn't start your liver and
straighten you up better and quicker
than nasty calomel and without mak-
ing you sick. Just go back and get your
money.
If you take calomel today you’ll be
alck and nauseuted tomorrow ; beside*.
It may salivate you, while If you take
Dodson'a I-lver Tone you will wake up
feeling great, full of ambition and
ready for work or play. It’* harmless,
pleasant and safe to give to children;
they like it.—Adv.
Even when you want to. don’t be-
lieve half that you hear.
Bcu-ani
Hot water
6u re Relief
RELL-ANS
■BW FOR INDIGESTION
Hut N .*i urtsl I^NBf l4*l*tMre -l.retl «
urtni Jlft U»MH.
(t)f Jo r lb jkibI j<«Itl Kariller* K'l*|| L*a|
Tub Am liuhefwm. Tenn K«f Duknluin Hfc
1PHAI
ran >.«>uiioa. fc«ni«a *•»«'»> '>«
r.o<T UM all of >»• •wart!B« psla
.ml of burn*, xoido. ruu o*r»laa
and <tul,-kl7 Koala tbolojurf Irtta
ao. or 7to- boo ioat Srueet>to toSav
HUNT*
UCHTNINfl
GRUMPY?
If Constipated, Bilious or
Headachy, take
‘‘Cascarcts’’
Iirnin foggy? Blue devils got you?
Don’t stny sick, bilious, headachy, con-
stipated. Remove the liver and bowel
poison which la keeping your head
dizzy, your tongue coated, your breath
bad and stomach sour. Why not spend
a few cents for a box of Cason ret* and
enjoy the nicest, gentlest laxative-ca-
thartic you ever experienced? Caa-
carets never gripe, sicken or Inconve-
nience one like Salts, Oil. Calomel or
harsh Pills. They work while you
sleep.—Adv.
The Packard
ol the
Tractor World
Model "A.” .HVSS h P-; model "B," KV22 h. p.
Thrsa forward apeedt, 1H, 8 and 6 niilea per
hour. Completely b<«ded In from weather.
All gaara eacluaed. Ctea karemaaa perfectly.
Spring mounted, three point nuapenaton.
Pull, ihrough aprlng draw twr. Ifn'i SaeM
(niyiltri Prompt dellverlei Bend for catalog.
LITTLE GIANT CO.
212 Rock Street Maahalo. Mu>n.
KODAK FINISHING
TKItl. IIKIIKK—S.-nd Mr an.l roll for «
print*, or a n*-trattv*a for raprtnta Kaat
at-r.lr*. Pay Nlcht Studio. Hedalla. Mo
W. N. U.. Oklahotna City, No. 14-1920.
The inure we learn, the more euger
are we to learn more.
A new’ broom sweeps
clean us u straight flush.
tt I most us
Fresh, sweet, white, dainty clothes
for baby, If you use Red Cross Ball
Blue. Never streaks or Injures them.
All good grocers sell It, 5c a package.
His Liver.
Recently John, the young son of
the pustor of the Rrlglitwood Meth-
odist church, was sick. His father
took hliu to see Dr. W. C. Engle. The
doctor was giving hlin a thorough
examination to determine hi* ailment.
In the examination lie said : “John,
I ain going to see whether you have
a liver. Huve you a liver, John?"
The boy replied: "Not yet; 1 will
have one after dinned."
“After dinner,” said the doctor.
“Ilnw Is that. John?”
“Well," said John, "mother Is cook-
ing an old hen for dinner, and I am
going to eat her liver."—Indianapolis
News.
$100 Reward, $100
Catarrh Is a lo. »l dla*.tar greatly Influ-
; enred by constitutional conditions. It
therefor# requires constitutional treat-
ment HAILS CAT A RRH MKDICINK
|M taken Internally and •>’ta through the
Wood on the Mucoua Burf«<-«s of the Sys-
tem. HALL’S UATAimil MEDICI NB
destroys the foundation of the disease
gives the patient srrength by Improving
the general health and aasiats nature In
doing Its work, lino no for any case of
i Catarrh that HALL’S CATARRH
1 MEDICINE falls to cure.
Druggists 75c. Testimonials free.
F. J. Chenay A Co.. Toledo. Ohio.
Already Accommodated.
One of the outfits patrolling the bor-
der during the Mexican tangle in lUld
I had recruited to strength with u col-
I lection of raw material that knew lit-
tle about* the finer points of military
i tactics. One of the rawest of the
raw was on guard duty pne night
■tfter taps, when a major passed un-
challenged.
"Don't you want the countersign?”
Inquired the officer sternly.
"No. thunks, major," replied the sen-
try. "The fellow in the guardhouse
gnve it to me already.”—Home Sec-
tor.
BURN
ThU Bootbinf. b«**ting. p«nRtratc
‘ t t*krw *11 .)f tbe
it
S-, I
It s
from'your dnigttiBt
Iror rptnm&j t*kew *11
out of
'17 k
, or 70c bottle to<l*J
sin*rt
m*lds rut*. I
kljr tifWlB th*
ntr p*tn out
Bprulnfl. ete..*n4 qu e
Injury. Utt
from your d
HUNT'S
LIG'ITMINC OIL
WK DON’T CABK HHr.KK IT Ift, we con
turn your progeny. Write u*. Rending full
dencrlptlon and location. TAYLOR liROS.,
SHAWNEE. OKLAHOMA
Golden Pheasant Feathers.
A considerable source of profit ex-
ists in the feathers of the golden
pheasant, which are used In salmon
fishing. These birds, which are na-
tives of China, are the hardiest of the
pheasant tribe, and are not at all
troublesome to rear in this country.
PARKER’S
HAIR BALSAM
iTe-filM/idruff *» m%m H ai rFalling
Raster** Color and
. to Gray sad Faded Hall
toe. and $l.Q0 »t druggists.
■ in ■■ ■ 3H<ikv)« Cbrm. ^ kt . pBlrboyup^JLT.
HINDERCORNS a™,™, o™. cm-.
le ase*, etc., stops ail P*in. ensures comfort to tbs
feet, makes waJklnr *aay. lie. by m*tl or at Drug*
glats. Uiecox Cbensioai Works, rateftogue. ft. Y. *
Mil
y Morning *»<_____
eepYour. Eyes
Clears - Clear -< Healthy
■it, hrhwbbCM Ss* MmA— C».OUcHwlt4A
you a wave as a wedding gift. I will
get you the finest wave in the whole
ocean and you can have it to use as
you like.”
MWs Penguin turned her head to-
wards Mr. Johnny Penguin. All the
other penguins were watching. Mr.
Johnny wished he could tnlk to her
alone. He wished he could tell her
what a fine mate he would he without
all these creatures looking on. He
found himself quite shy with so many
around.
“What In the world, or on the Is-
land. or In the ocean, or under the
stars or the moon or the snn will I do
with a w’ave, Mr. Penguin?” she asked.
All the other penguins had begun to
titter. Mr. Johnny Penguin didn't
know what to say.
He thought for a moment and then
raising his head he said In a loud
voice, “It Is a gift such as no other
penguin has ever had. I am doing you
a great honor when I offer It to you.”
Miss Penguin burst out laughing.
“I wouldn’t have it,” she Raid, “be-
cause I couldn’t have It You couldn't
get a wave if you wanted to. They
belong to the oceaD—all waves do.
You could no more get It for me than
you could get the moon or the sun or
the stars or the trees. What nonsens«
you do talk, Mr. Penguin.
“When creatures promise to get
what can’t be gotten they show they
will not be good mates. They are try-
ing to reach for the moon and crea-
tures who do that get all out of Joint
Sorry. Mr. Penguin. I cannot accept
your engagement ring."
“But what' Is the matter with It,
Miss Penguin?” asked Mr. Penguin.
“Surely you cannot but say that It Is
s nice stone.”
“There Is nothing the matter with
the stone,” she said. “But I do not
like the giver. Pray Irave me! Yon
see I have not picked It up and so you
know that Is my answer. If I wanted
you as a mate I would have accepted
the stone you brought me.”
Which Indeed she would have done.
Oh, What’s the Use?
"More money? Why, only yesterday
I gave you .520.”
“Yes, dear, but I spent thnt on a
new hat”
“But I gave It to you to buy food.
You efln't feed yourself on a new hat."
“I can feed part of myself with It."
"What do you mean?"
“I can feast my eyes on It.”
-\
Peace and Quiet.
Vicar (to parishioner who has re-
cently lost his wife)—You must feel
rsry lonely now. I'm afruid, Mr. Jud-
kins?
Mr. Judkins—Yes, sir; It be lone-
mine—but it be quiet!—Passing Show,
London.
He Voted. Did Andy.
Andy, n negro porter at a Broadway
theater, belongs to a lodgp. The oHier
night the lodge met to vote on the
question of changing meeting rooms,
but Andy didn’t get there. Yesterday
we met him on Brondway and he said
the organization was to have new
quarters.
"Did you vote for a change.” we
asked.
“I wasn’t at de meetln’.” replied
Andy, "but I voted by peroxide.”—New
York World.
The man who marries a disagree-
able woman for her money swhIIows a
bitter silver-coated pill.
The largest single dried fruit crop
of the world is the currant crop pro-
duced in western Greece.
If ^ou Like The
Taste Of Coffee
You’D like
INSTANT
POSTUM
and you'll like it better
if you are one of those
with whom coffee dis-
agrees.
*c5he flavor is similar
but Post mu does not
contain, caffeine or any
other drug.
Betterhealth follows
the change.
Sold by all Grocers
Made by Postum Cereal Co,Battle Creek*Mich.
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Koonce, A. S. The Criterion And The Independent (Bartlesville, Okla.), Vol. 16, No. 51, Ed. 1 Friday, April 2, 1920, newspaper, April 2, 1920; Bartlesville, Oklahoma. (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc950383/m1/2/?q=%22new-sou%22: accessed June 27, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.