Cimarron Valley Clipper (Coyle, Okla.), Vol. 22, No. 51, Ed. 1 Thursday, July 26, 1923 Page: 3 of 4
This newspaper is part of the collection entitled: Cimarron Valley Clipper and was provided to The Gateway to Oklahoma History by the Oklahoma Historical Society.
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THE COHl CLt+PVI
The best way to head off the long-
distance dancing nut Is to put a
broom into her hand.
l'es, America IS the promised il&d.
Hardly a country in Europe Ha? failed
to promise tTnele Sam
When you say a motorist has one
foot in the grate, you mean that ho
has the other on the accelerator
The land acquired nowadays by any
empire nlwnys seems to include some
new ground for suspicion.
The search for pharaohs probably
is with the full consent of those Who
delight in digging up pasts.
The man who owns n used car never
has to wonder where his small son
picks up that kind of language
Egypt is to have a constitution,
after having been in bad health ever
since Cleopatra flirted with Caesar.
Archeologists have decided to dig
up remains of the ancient Hittites.
Sounds like a prehistoric ball team i
A conference nowadays is any group
of men who meet after their minds
are made up and adjourn the same
way.
There are two kinds of people In
the world: Useful ones and useless
ones. The classifying is done by the
useful ones.
CCSOOOOOOOOOOOOCCOCOCOOOOO&
§ 8
5 If you were §
s born in * 8
July §
0
WEAp THE §
RUBY . |
* o
§
0
0
HEALTH
WEALTH
and L O.V E 8
o
• • . §
o
0
Koetsch
Jewelry Co. \
109 W. Okla Plioiie b57. o
Guthrie §
©OOOOOOOOGGi&OOOCOOOOOQOQO
8<
j War scares are bad enough, but war
The criticism over placing insane 8cars worse
persons in jail should not apply to
those trying to set new dancing en
durance records
Some children have a good time
cud some have experts to tench them
how to play *
Brotherly love can't hope to become
universal while its style is cramped
by patriotism.
It is getting so the men will be de-
manding equal rights in wielding a
deadly automatic.
ifbu uo they know that Germany t
debt is close to six trillion marks?
Who counted it?
CITY MEAT MARKET
1
Old-fashioned opinion is that the
proper carriage for a woman, to affect
is a baby carriage.
w
Getting up in the world is just a de-
lightful business of getting up a little
later in the morning.
I
% f
Most of the wild animals have pro-
tective coloration, and mortals find
safety in greenbacks.
The doctors never seem to prescribe •
rest and change except for those who ] •
already have the change. j •
The scientist who says that men can
live 125 years might also note the fact
that occasionally one does.
Shaw & Unchurch
i
A normal wife is one who thinks _____
her husband is working too hard and ....... .................. “
not setting enough fut it. Realism in llter&lure is fust the art One tliouble about a wig is that you
The flare of headlights is a menace . of exposing a.man before he has had ^ hardly ever can trust it.
to motorists, but the glare <7f pedes- time to shave and spruce up
trians is wholly harmless
A new gasoline is announced,
to be inflammable.
said
__ f
Rural America decreased in popula-'
tion by 4(50,000 persons last year. The
lure of the moving pictures continues
to gather them in.
The girl who used to say, “I could
die dancing.” is trying it.
Fliv, and the world flivs with you;
walk, and you walk alone.
What has become of the old-fash-
ioned woman to whom spring meant
nothing but housecleaning?
“Waste not, waste not,” was a good
saw till the average American began
to think, “Waste not, live not.”
Timt S. O S. from European ho-
tels may mean Send Over Suckers.
One trouble obout prosperity is the
amount of overhead it carries with it.
Another way to be satisfied with
your lot in life is to keep the back
part of it cleared of rubbish.
Maybe what these marathons in
dancing slippers demand is some loDg
distance records to be set at home!
with a carpet slipper.
An “antiknock” gasoline will be
placed on the market, although it is
not clear whether the name refers to
the motor or the driver.
It may have been a divinity that
shaped our ends In tie# old days, but
now it’s vanity and shoe styles. -*—' —
_ __—,__ The poor «don t really envy the rich
Perhaps we could have got along man who grtes decently about his la-
without the King Tut hat. There are hors without trying t0 show off-
enough now to talk through -*-*--
-:-,— Another id!* ambition is the hope
'The curse of the Pharaohs is a lot It may be that men’s njinds are not some day to hear a train announcer
of wild and expensive gowns. so clean as women’s because they take a crack at “Tut-Ankh-Amen1
-—-— fl don’t change them so frequently
When the weak one blows out, the
uutoist knows what to dp with his
spare time.
Nowadays they dance till the cows
come home, and then some.
Esperanto can’t hope to become as
universally respected as the language
money talks.
One of the best examples of zero in
usefulness is the duration dancing
championship.
Give the world a flag of truth and
it can dispense with the flag of truce
Another nice thing about women in
business is that men tire not so prone
A Mexican woman of one hundred
and two says she quit smoking when
she was ninety-nine. She thought
perhaps it was sort of getting her
The oddest feature of propaganda
is that everyone is positive his own
isn’t.
A machine represented to be eer
tain in the diagnosis of disease has
been tested and found »to have alto
gether too many incurable ailments
The trouble with sinking funds is
that they are usually sunk without a
trace.
Germany’s debt is nearly six tril-
lions, or enough to wear out half of to put off shaving until "tomorrow
the printing presses in the world. --——*■--——
-..--- The Englishman who saw the point
; One of the smoothest of tho various of an American j><:e laughed himself
: high-toned name? for being a hog to deatii; it is a warning to tne rest.
among nations is economic necessity. -*-— --
-- The man who first wondered what
the wild waves are saying must have
foreseen the invention of the radio.
There are ? me tilings you can’t buy
with money, but people don’t appreci-
ate them much.
t :ie it gets to normalcy, this war-
ring world, apparently, must pass
through lunacy.
The United States army air service
may not have as much equipment as
some other countries, but it seems to
be making the most of what it has
Dancing seems not to need censor-
ship so much as dancers need horse
sense.
That bombardment of inkstands in
the Japanese diet should start a
safety-first movement to foun lain pens
———— --1 This wave of interest in archeology
The stock market is very like an must be a great bmau for the men who
escalator; at least the part that the are running pick and shovel foundries.
Do tlie ladies realize that these Tut-
Ankh-Amen styles are 3,000 years be-
hind the times?
Watching an airplane, a pedestrian 1 public sees is the part that is. going up.
was hit by an
menace
auto. The newest
Vou cannot tsell by looking at a
Shale a-plenty in the coal, but luck-
ily and In the sugar has long been a
figure of speech.
Einstein’9 theory lms been upheld by
the recent eclipse, so the scientists say
and it may be that the ellipse enjoys
the unique status of understanding it
Another way to beat the prosper woman's spring suit ln*v much her
tive Si gasoline is t- start ajjaiu try- husband still owes for her winter senl-
The end of the dance marathon ing to beat a fast freight to the cross- , skin
business will come when they try them ing.
In the movies.
It would be grand if it could only
be arranged to let speeding motorists
run into one another.
Canadians are going diamond hunt
ing in Brazil. It is to be hoped that
they find some. Diamonds are great
Incentives to matrimonial engagements
I
One lesson to be learned from a re-
The reason lav s were not btVken so I public is that one-half of the people
There never yet was a spring that frequently in the old days was because can’t force the otlmj half to do any
was backward enough to destroy the they were not put together so care- thing
dandelion crop. I iessly.
Russia has 35 letters in its alpha-
bet. It also would seem to be entitled
to one of condolence.
The cafeteria principle will never
make any headway in Europe, accord
ing to a returned restaurateur. Possi
bly because yon have to help yourself
It isn t probable, hetwever, that civ-
Among the tilings to be expected any! The reason America lias great re- ilization ever will ere* i a monument
time is the first suggestion for a safe source? i? because bin V. in t he old days to the unknown husbands of famous
Along with other disturbing thoughts
comes a wonder whether the screens
will do another year.
and sane July 4th.
The Einstein theory that everything j
is crooked, Including what is straight.!
mint hare been arrived at after a
tenrcblng analysis of European diplo j
many.
Some people spend their surplus
money having a good time, ai*l some
spend It foolishly.
European nations were not addicted to
altruism.
It is said Russia i always glad to
get United States currency. That’s
the way it is with people in the United
States, too.
women.
Still, a girl who dances 00 hours
around a dance hall arrives at ap
proximately tlie same destination ns
a gentleman who rides a bicycle In a
circle for six days.
A clrqas down
after Inheriting
million dollars,
nler than that?
suii downing
oil bunds worth n
What could be fun-
We finfl that tl* now Tut-Ankh-
Amen styles of woartng apparel are 1
not proving accqptsUJe in our rural
sections.
Europeans are not as bluff and
hearty as Americans, but they are just
as good at a hearty bluff.
Now that warships can be maneu-
vered by. radio and without personnel
aboard, no gob should ever be denied - everybody adhered to it.
shore leave.
The golden rul<* may not be sufficient
to get a heavenly ticket, but it cer-
tainly would help soime down here if
There is one tiling to commend the
traveling salesman, lauded by a min-
ister, and that is that he is willing
to take orders.
i
They are not attacking the Ein
stein theory, which may draw from
its author a fl&rt statement as to
what he menu?
gas lealf
Originally Uhe tarentella was
of! served In the war Nobody has SUg- deemed a“
"" gested a distinguished service medal J10" n°P t°R , . M y
for the dove of pence. j ,n?nne but “ 13 stllpld’
I
England lias pensioned pigeons that
Keeping a large army in case
war works out something like keeping 1 gested a distinguished service medfll
a large supply of matches in ease of
LOOK!
How Can We Afford It?
4 lb. caddie oIf
those famous
Loose Wiles
KRISPY CRACKERS
for
40 cents
While they la^t
STOCKTON'S
A mask lias been invented which is
proof against ull gases, thus compell-
ing science to step out and invent some
more gases.
Egypt is a country the na .e ol
whose kind is utterly unknown unless
he happens to have been dead several
thousand years.
Still, if South America remains
peaceful, what will become of that fa-
mous line: “The murines landed and
have the situation lit hand?”
A girl who developed her voice call-
ing cows is going into grand opera.
Chance for her to connect with some
I good live slock company.
Never blame" a child for how ling.
| All of us would adopt that means of
I getting tilings if it would work ns
well In our case.
this country is going 1 A recent st0,ti9t‘^1
... „« : America’s candy bill at $1,000,000,0(30
a year. And that was before the
1 sugar profiteers got busy!
Gardening in
t?/ get the biggest boqm as soon as
Someone invents a set of tools that
look like ntnShies and niblicks.
A northern trapper attempts to ex-
plode tlie long-ttantflni belief that
wolvc attack human being; Tlie
wolfs worst proclivity is sitting on
door steps.
A London funn became so tickled at
:\p American film comedy that he died
in the theater. Even at that, it
doesn't necessarily moan flint it was
very funny.
Alter the navy balloon artists have
succeeded in flying around tlie earth
from polo to pole and back, tlie next
air navigators will hnve to fly with
their hnnds tied in order to make it
more difficult.
Tlie college president who t seven
out i i en crdlege studdnts are wasting
their time might have dragged in a
word or two about dad's money.
it is announced that “prickly pear
juice and certain chemicals make an
excellent motor fuel." Possibly the
certain chemicals are gasoline.
If the paragraphed do not stop wor-
Some genius may find a way to hook
up the endurance dancers for power
rylDg orer what might Uapi.vm if the i , „ .. ... . .
bu tl< came bick the flr* tttng they ! Production, and iben there will be
kn V. „ will com- , ,u i Let- it alone ,,emur t0 thelr los t,ottll,g ,ndeflmte,y’
--»--
Tluj judge who locked u jury up
over Sunday and told it to reach a
docisipn may have fi-qrad that the
evidence was entitled to somr* consid-
eration.
Eloplitrjit’s breath may be the np-
elragging a couple of men into a creek
and drowning them. Next we may ex-
pect to hear of some Ill-natured trout
going up on tin bank after the fisher-
men. • .
A new stage slow in Paris proved
i so offensive that 'lie entire audience
propriatu n.dme for the new fabric , • his a shrewd bit
colon, luvied on tin; U, r-v that the , preliminary to a long run
Stuff 8 so thin you can tset.lt in warm ' vttv?. ...
weather. j __
5 T
There 1; a New York pathologist wlw ,
says tha’ -* *’■- -------* *“ ''
Tin m luufnerererr. intend to show
, , , . i.„ iiuldi - 145 i : r nt ways of pre^
too o everybody will ’ •• Wsaue In 200 ' |’d'- "j, ^V, q'Tld-'o V’Sr'-irntl
years. Tlieu the Jazz bawls p ill Imvo *
no competition, , , t
one sure-fire way to cut them In public.
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Cimarron Valley Clipper (Coyle, Okla.), Vol. 22, No. 51, Ed. 1 Thursday, July 26, 1923, newspaper, July 26, 1923; Coyle, Oklahoma. (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc910723/m1/3/: accessed April 26, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.