The Norman Transcript. (Norman, Okla. Terr.), Vol. 04, No. 27, Ed. 1 Friday, April 14, 1893 Page: 3 of 10
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J& fT ERWARO.
jnd thi« is the sequel of loving
It means tout my heart mum ache,
Only h walk through the uieadou-*
And b ride on th«* moonlit lake
Only a promise broken
And a cold and pitiless "never
And a *hort heartless goodnight"
That means, alas, for *ver
Only a walk and a ride
On ihf lakelet calm and still
When the whippoorwill sing from the forest
And the moon was just ovor the hill
He hail gone, and I stand by the gateway
Alone with the night and my grief,
Without kind friend* to pity.
Save the wind and the rustling leaf
—Arthur E. Smith-
HOW 1 WON' HER.
When I graduated from one of the
foremost colleges in this country, I
■was considerably in debt
me to liquidate which and obtain the
means for prosecuting my legal
studies I resolved to teach for a few
years, as, at the time of my gradua-
tion I was only 20 years of age.
■ 1 secured a position us principal of
the high school in W . a thriving
New England village, where, among
those whose acquaintance I formed
at an early date was one James Brent,
tflan rtetedHvei in our employ. I a considerably long consideration
wish you to prosecute your invest!- decided to act in accordance with hit
gation regardless of expense which ! proposition, erroniously believing
I will personally defray for I am that the crime would not find me out,
confident you will be successful in : by reason of my position and tilt
fathoming the mystery if anyone can shower which prevailed. And 1
do it." " 1 thought I could keep Jaraos a pris-
The Kev. Thomas Ford, who for oner without being suspected, as 1
three years had been the ablest and was temporarily doing my own house-
most prominent clergyman in \\
had tendered the resignation of his
pastorate oecause, to use his own
language. "I must be away from
here an indefinite length of time."
In tha evening prior to th«
when he was to leave he
work, as I have much of the timt
since my wife's death.
"Why I "resigned' and why 1 ar-
ranged to have my house furnishings
, sent to a'certaiu place after I had
day | gone from W , you will now
was | understand.
tendered a reception in the town-hall, j "1 intended, when 1 reached New
which was crowded to overflowing by York city to telegraph the cashier ol
members of his church, the citizens | the bank where James was and
to' enable j of the place generally and people thenceforward to be another than the
from adjoining towns. i Rev. Thomas Ford. 1 also intended
llis farewell address was very able , to make good the bank's loss at the
and touching, and in the course of it earliest possible moment
SOFT
>oa t Mull
FAVOR.
C'au Sleep
SMILES FOR US ALL.
In auil Vim
the I'ari.
The soft hat i* having a run tha<j WE5XLY GRIST OF THE COUN-
It ha> not onjoyod for years." suid u
Broadway hatter. " l"he cra/.o began I
with the Kvenlng Sun stylo two year?
or so ago. It did not take long for
the style to commend itself to Wyar-
lers of soft hat> Then the stiff hut
User* heard so much about the new
hat that they gave it a trial. They
found, what city people aro*l>egin<j
ning to find out, that a soft hat is j
better adapted to the needs of city
life than to those of the country.
Take one instance only. Wo spend a
TRY'S FUNNY MEN.
Mr. MoGrath Fluiln Hlmnelf In an Awk-
ward Predicament anil Relieve. Hliu-
lelf of Sonic Celllc Wit—Nobility Out-
douc—A Chapter on Tramps.
he remarked:
••The way of evil doers is hard."
The words had scarcely fallen from
his lips when a man in the audience,
rising exclaimed;
"None can be better qualified to
attest the truth of that statement
about my own age, the popular, etti- j than you are.
cient, trusted book-keeper and teller J The strange interruption nearly
of the local bank. j paralyzed those who heard it,created
I had been in the place somewhat ! a death-like silence particularly as
less than a year, when the cashier
called to the bank at an unusually
early hour in the morning, found that
it had been burglarized to the extent
of nearly $12,(WU.
The hour for opening the bank to
the publio arrived \ind James failed
to appear at his post of duty. In-
quiry at his home revealed the fact
that directly after supper the pre-
ceding evening he hud gone from the
house, requesting his folks not to sit
up for him as he might not return
until a late hour.
"He did not come to his breakfast
and I went to his room, expecting to
tind him there sick," said his mother,
in a tremulous tone, to the messen-
ger sent to learn concerning him.
"Instead of that, I found that his
bed had been unoccupied, and I fear
something worse than sickness has
happened to him, as he never is away
from home over night when in the
place," she continued huskily, the
tears coursing down her cheeks.
••His father and his sister have gone
to search for him."
A natural inference entertained
■with reluctance and regret—was that
the missing man was responsible for
the burglary.
The bank at once scattered circu-
lars far and wide, giving a vivid de-
scription of the teller and offering a
reward of if 1.000 for information that
would lead to his apprehension, of
$8,000 for information that would
tend to the recovery of the stolen
funds, and summoned a skilled de-
tective to aid them by wire.
His father and numerous friends,
who would not for an instant harbor
the thought that ho was guilty, con-
jointly offered a reward of $1,U00 for
information concerning Jamos.
Two days glided away and no clow
had resulted from tlie rewards, the
efforts of the detective or of the town
officers.
I have a natural fondness for inves-
tigating the mysterious, which, dur-
ing my earlier years, rendered me in-
terested in bewildoringly-plotted
stories and puzzles and. later, in
the voice of the speaker seemed fa
miliar to most of, those present,
though his features were not
brought a visible pallor to the clergy-
man's countenance while he trembled
from head to foot.
"Do you recognize me now?" he
continued, removing a wig, a false
beard and colored spectacles, reveal-
ing the features of the missing teller.
Words would fail to depict the con-
sternation consequent upon this reve-
lation; increased, if possible, by the
"My God!" which the clergyman
ejaculated in a pitiful tone.
"Last Wednesday evening." James
presently began, ''I went to the bank
to do some writing and had been
there about two hours when I heard
someone at the outer door. Going to
the door I found Mr. Ford"—every-
one glauced at the clergyman, who
had sunk into a seat—"and a man
who was a stranger to ine.
" 'I saw a light in the bank and we
called to get out of the severe
shower,' said Mr. Ford, 'as we have
no umbrellas.'
"1 invited them to enter and they
were hardly inside and the door
closed when Mr. Ford observed:
" -We came here not expecting to
find anyone in the building; to rob
the bank, which we shall do; and
necessity compels us to make you our
prisoner.'
"They gagged me with one hand-
kerchief; bound me, hand and foot,
with another handkerchief; helped
themselves to the contents of tho
vault, which was open. Then
" 'You keep guard over him while
I go home and get my team to con-
vey him from here,' Mr. Ford said,
addressing his companion: after which
he extinguished tho light and left
the bank.
"An hour later i had been taken to
Mr. Ford's home where I have since
remained, a prisoner—with plenty of
food and a good bed to sleep on, but
a prisoner just tho same."
He stopped and nodded at mo, sit-
ting beside him. I arose, removed
the facial disguises which I wore.
God knows that from the bottom
of my heart I am sorry for what 1
have done. Regret or repentance
will not satisfy the demands of jus-
tice, and i shall submit myself to
such punishment as the law shall im-
pose upon me unresistingly.
"I thank you for your many kind-
nesses to me since I came to W
I think that every one who heard
him, and all who later heard his
story, pitied him; that not one oi
them wished him brought to trial.
He furnished information which led
to the arrest of his pul and the re-
covery of all the stolen funds except
$1,400; as a state's evidence was al-
lowed to go free, he immediately went
from W to parts unknown; three
years later, fully reimbursed the
bank by sending it $'.',000.
I would not accept any reward for
my services, but they led to a bettor
acquaintance with James' sister
whom I eventually married.—N. V
Mercury.
Wlijr Not Take Two or Throe?
Col. Cole Hoyle (to daughter)—Yes,
Lib by; while you have been galivant-
ing around Europe gettln' your edica-
.... .. , cation, your old i'ops has been peggiu'
great deal of our time n street cars., n has grown rich as mud
A skillful conserve,, of vitalenergyj ^ ^ work„ uml
w.l use every chance in the cuty.,
rush to snatch moments of rest. Now, I ■> ■
INTERRUPTED
FLIRTATION.
*n Way
Yes, in-
,. , , , Hi Weedy; we can take the crude oilin one
suppose vou live above the riftles. II • , . . .. ,
11 • . ,, i , ,, end of he built in and when it reaches
you get a seat on the 'I,, says the .... ....
v. .. .. , the other, it comes out thoroughly le-
New York Nun, you run rest your]
head on the side of the car, close ""
ed ine to solve all the intricate thus creating a new sensation, and
mathematical problems that came in
my way;'thus enabling mo to secure
a high rank as a mathematician while
in college.
I ha:l often thought I should like
to be a detective, whose business
is wholly in the line of the mysteri-
ous. Here was an opportunity for
me t:i test my ability in this direc-
tion, and 1 resolved not to let it pass
unimproved.
Going to tho hank, in his private
office I held an interview with the
cashier, with whom I was on the
most friendly terms, as he had a son
in my school, and asked:
"Can you, who have known hiin
from his boyhood, call to mind any-
thing which James ever did, prior to
the burglary, which would staiu his
character?"
"1 cannot,'' was the reply. "His
has always been a model life."
"So far as you know, has he ever
speculated in stocks:*"
■•I know that he never has; that
everv oent of his savings he deyy^ited
in this bank."
■You think he robbed the bank?"
' The circumstantial evidence points
began:
"Without going into all the details
of my investigation. I will say that
my various clews pointed to Mr. Ford ,
as concerned in the burglary par-
ticularly his sudden resignation. Jus
unusual nervousness since the crime
was perpetrated, mutterings that I
have heard from his lips when he
passed me—supposedly a stranger- -
the fact that a window in the upper
part of his house has been heavily
curtained as it was not prior to tho
burglary.
| "Soon after he came here, this
j evening, I effected a forcible entrance
into his house in such a way that 1
should leave no traces of my deed if
unrewarded.
••In the curtained room, previously
referred to. 1 found James, a prisoner,
as he has said. I released him,
passed him the wig, false beard and
glasses which I wore; hastened to my
boarding-place near by and procured
a suit of clothes for him which I had
never worn, which I felt assured
would fit him, so nearly are we of the
same size; provided myself with
Thought Hi, Hail Thing* 111* O
Hut Kecelveh a Nethaek.
"You are such a charming girl,
murmured the drummer as he crept
into a seat beside the lone woman
passonger. says the New York Com
mercial Advertiser.
No answer.
"I—I believe you are running away
from home to go on the stage; there
is something so romantic in ye
hazel eyes," he purred, sweetly.
No answer.
"An then it must be that you art
off to be married: there is somethin
so expectant in your manner."
No answer.
"It is so unpleasant traveling
alone; and, don't you know, a fellow
instinctively yearns for the smiles of
some star-eyed beauty like yourself,
in whose presence he forgets tho
tedium of the trip«"
No answer.
"And really, now, really." he mur-
mured, toying with his coffee-colored
diamond, "you are on your way to
see some charming beau, or else you
would not be so cold and distant."
N o answer.
"Or you are coming to tho city t
oxc'iango photographs with some
English lord, who is bent on having
a beautiful Aiujricaii girl for a bride
that he may bear her away to his an-
cestral estates in dear old Ireland."
No answer.
"Or maybe you are on your way to
your little red cottage by the far
sounding sea. Ah, let us fly together
and be at rest!"
No answer.
• -Well, 1 declare, you are the
strangest girl 1 ever met on the road.
May 1 inquire, miss, whore you are
going?"
••You may," she said, loeking him
full in the face; "I am on my way to
New York city where I am] to ar-
range with my publishers as to my
forthcoming book on 'Good Manners.'
If you will kindly write your name
on this card I will see that you are
favored with an advance copy."
He recalled that he had left his
traveling bag in the other car.
BLINDNESS IN RUSSIA.
another make-up; c
him."
I sat down and another painful
silence ensued, which was broken by
Mr. Ford, who arose, and in a firm,
but sad voice, said:
'I am guilty, as I have been repre-
fn the Alkali District* the Majority Are
ao Afflicted.
The people of Kussia are more ter-
ribly afflicted with the infirmity of
blindness than any other race, sect or
nation on the globe, the proportion be-
ing twenty-one to every 10,000 of pop-
ulation. In 1886 there was an official
census taken of the blind of Europe
These statistics show a remarkable
ame here with j state of affairs, especially in Euro-
j pean Russia, the Caucasus and I'o-
your eyes and have a nice snooze till
the guard calls your station. Hun-
dreds of New Yorkers have so trained
themselves that they can sleep till
the guard calls their station. The
call acts like an alarm clock and they
are awake in an instuut.
"You can sleep thus comfortably,
provided you have a soft ha'. There
are two reasons for this: First, the
soft hat adjusts itself to the head as
you lean against the side, and acts as
a sort of pillow, taking up tho vibra-
tion of the car. Of course tho stiff
hat, silk or derby, never does,
Always stiff as a board, it is on the
•point of falling off whenever you in-
cline your head. Second, you can
shade your eyes with tho soft hat by
turning down the rim. Thus, no
matter what position you may be in
relatively to the light, you can
always avoid the glare. To do this
with a derby you must be an expert
balancer to "hold it on the end of your
noso as you tilt it forward.
"But not only in sleeping is the
teoft hat superior. In the city one
often finds oneself hat in hand in
large gatherings, such as receptions
to public man. Then it is that the
stiff hat suffers. The slightest blow
may damage it permanently, while nu
such injury can come to a soft hat.
It can go through the worst crush
practically unharmed.
"Another thing: Men are finding
out that the soft liat, is bettor for the
hair. Instead of binding the veins
and arteries on the side of tin head
that supply blood for the hair, like the
stiff hat with its solid edge, the soft
hat exerts no binding pressure any-
where on the head. The blood thus
flows freely, and falling hair and a
hot, dry scalp are avoided.
"The artistic feeling has,too, much
to do with this growing demand for
soft hats. People aro coming to see
that tho linos and curves of a soft
hat are more pleasing than those ol
a stiff one. Why, I can take a soft
hat and by turning the rim a little
or indenting the crown, or vice versa,
can change mv appearance almost tc
,the extent of disguise. The adapta-
bility of a soft hat is what is making
it popular. If on putting on youi
bat at tho hall-rack mirror beforj
going out, you think a deep crease
in tho top would become you better
Unit day, you can make it. Or if you
wish one side lower than the other
or in one of many other ways wish to
conform tho outline to your mood,
Vou have but to make a touch here
and there. Such changes are not
possible with the stiffs, and that is
why wearers tire of them so easily.
Take but ono example. How woald
a stiff hat become Buff alo Bill's flow-
ing hair and free-and-easy mako-up?
His whole appearance would be
spoiled by the stiff lines of a derby.
Now, there are hundreds of men tc
whoso looks a soft hat is especially
adapted, not. so markedly, perhaps,
as in Cody's case,hut still to a marked
extent.
"Soft hats are no longer what they
used to bo, a citified reproduction of
a rural peculiarity. The Evening
Sun style shows that tho soft hat can
be made as drossy as the stiff; so
there isn't the least doubt, in my
mind that the soft hat has come to
stay. One needs only to stand on
Broadway a few minutes to count
hundreds of soft hats, where a few
(months ago but a dozen or so could
ho seen."
Libby (languidly)—Dear father^
won't you try to tind time to take a
.trip through the works your&elf, the
tint thing in the morning?
Not Exactly Keen.
Bond—The major ought to be doing
▼cry well in Wall Street. He's an in-
dustrious fellow.
Banks—Unfortunately he's not. His
industrial proclivities havo nearly
ruined liiui. A friend from Chicago
fcusscd him into heavy loss, and in
trying to make i i up, he got loaded
with lead. sweetened with sugar,
nearly strangled with cordage, and
iiow he is paralyzing hiuisult with
whisky.
Kohillty Outdone.
land. In the countries named there
was a total of 189,872 persons who
were entirely blind. Tho whole of
ihe remainder of Europe (and mind
this includes the thickly populated
in that direction, yet I cannot bring
myself to regard him really guilty."
"Has the detective examined his
KooksP"
• He has not nor made any mention
of them."
"With your permission, I should
like to do so."
Such a permission was readily ac-
corded me and, when 1 had carefully
looked through the books 1 said:
"Judging from the comparative j father was a wealthy farmer in the
freshness of the ink. I should think I South; at its close I was a ]>enniless
all the writing in them during the j orphan.
last four days therein represented i "Unaccustomed to labor and used
was done at one and the same time." | to having my every wish gratified
"Quite likely," the cashier re- j whose gratification money rendered
sponded. "James was kept so busy ; possible, I drifted into evil ways for j twenty-seven to nineteen. In Poland
last Saturday, Monday, i'uesday and j supporting myself, though I was never ; there are twentv-five blind men tm
sented, but not the absolute miscre- countries of Germany, France, Spain,
ant that you have reason to believe j Holland, Belgium, Great Britain
me. Please listen to my story, which j 0tc. )only has a blind population
will be brief. i numbering 188,812, while the three
•When the rebellion began my \ Americas, North, Central and South,
with their islands, have less than
23,000 persons who aro totally bereft
of sight. In the Caucasus t/
women, especially those of count%,
districts, are more liable to ceol
than men, the proportion being about
Wednesday as teller that he had
scarcely any time to devote to the
joks."
"May he not have come to the bank
Wednesday ev ning to work on the
books?"
"Possibly, though I never knew
ilim to do so before."
every fourteen blind women, th#
same percentage holding good over
the most of Kitssia-in-Europe. The
authority from which these facts are
gleaned states that there are actually
many small villages in tho alkali dis-
tricts near the Asiatic frontier where
responsible for jmiv heinous offense.
"Sickening of the life I was lead-
ing, 1 resolved to turn over a new
leaf and. under an assumed name, in
a state far removed from where 1 had
ever been before, locate as a clergy-
man. I eventually settled hero.
"Last Wednesday afternoon a one- the blind predominate! In this re-
"Had he come here to perpetrate a 1 time associate, who had learned my , gicn the alkali dust constantly fill*
crime he would not have been likely j whereabouts, came to my home and ; the air, and those not actually blind
to touch the books? : vowed that if I did not settle a debt j have their eyes more or less diseased
"No." and the monosyllable spoke I 0f honor—amounting with interest | "
volumes. I to f-l.OOd—which I owed him, he The Hon,' t "eaier.
"Naturally," I observed, "we must j would reveal my previous character, j Coal Dealer -Jim, how much did
Mien consider him innocent, in which [ informed hiin that it was impossible ! you send Mrs. Goodheart for that'.asi
for me to do so, and lie said if I ton?
For Use by Country Editor*.
The following poetical appeal r-rm
for its author, the editor of the Rocky
Mountain Celt, the prize of $1,000
offered for the best appeal poem to
newspaper men to pay up their sub-
scription: "Lives of poor men oft
remind us honest men won't stand
no chance. The more we work
there grow behind us bigger patches
on 6ur pants. On our pants, once
new and glossy, now are stripes of
different hue, all because subscribers
linger and don't pay us what i.« due.
Then let us be up and doing; send in
your mite, however small, or when
the snow of winter strikes us we
shall have no pants at all."—Nas'n-
ville American.
i'ramp Madatn, do not misjudge me.
I am no common tramp. I inherit the
blood of the most noble race in
America—
She—Yer looks don't deceive yer. I
knowed yer was an Injun th' minnit I
laid eyes on yer.
Professional Hiz.
Roggs Lend mo a quarter to buy
a cocktail, will you?
Fogg—Cocktails are only fifteen
oents, I believe.
Roggs That is the usual price; but
they are a quarter at Delmonico's
Fogg —But why do you go to Del-
monico's?
Hoggs Because I want to be seen
there as much as possible. You know
J am struggling to gain a foothold as a
painter.Puck.
An Art Emergency.
Small Artist—Mamma, I painted this
little girl in the picture, and I've got
the bureau alongside of her painted,
but I want to paint a rouge box 011 the
bureau and I can't make it look right.
Mamma—Why do you want a rouge
box there?
Small Artist—I've got her cheeks too
red, and I want it to look as if she did
it herself.
A Great Artist.
Miss Shoddie—Why, maw, just come
to this side of the room and look at
that portrait of paw that Dauber
painted.
Mrs. Shoddie—I see tho face looks
sort o' greasy. That shows what a
great artist Mr. Dauber ie. Your paw
sot for that picture in August.
Tell-Tale Evidence.
Old Union Soldier (discussing the
war)—Well, we licked you, anyhow!
Old Confederate Soldier—Yes. Hut
you ar* pretty well used up, judging
from the pensions you're drawing.
.Sensational Journal inn;.
Reporter—I have a big story. We'll
have to rush out an extra.
Editor—What is it?
Reporter—There was a washout on
Broadway during the rain last night
and some of the pavement was exposed
to view. Puck.
An Apt Pupil.
Mr. Puilemin—I make a pad mistake
Ait buying dosa goots. I bays too
much.
Little Son—Th' teacher say
pro tit by our meestakes.
Mr. Puilemin—Ish dot zo? Yell, i
get detn insured.
Ol !ifore Importance.
"Why, there's Mr. Crosier, the mis«
sionary, on the other side of the street!
I thought he was in Africa founding
missions.11
"So he was; but he has been eailed
home to testify in Dr. Pentateuck i
heresy trial."
It Didn't Work.
Nervous Lady—There! I've had'sora *
ashes put on tho hill outside, and now
I guess those noisy coasters will go
somewhere else.
Boy (outside)—Hi! All of youl
Here's a bully place to shine y'r iuu*
ners.
Not In IIIn Confidence.
Caller—Is Mr. Bizzy in?
Office Boy—No. He's just gone ott*.
Caller—How soon will he be back '
Office Boy—Ho didn't happen to men-
tion that. You see l am not one of th*
firm yet.
A Cane of Consideration.
His Sister's Suitor—Here, Ralph, is a
quarter; now tell me what your sister
says about me.
Ralph -Gimme another quarter and
I won't tell you what she says about
you.
Well Equipped.
Mr. Starborder The Man with tho
Iron .law from the museum seems to Im
a perfect gentleman.
Mrs. Hashley Indeed he is; when all
the other boarders are grumbling abomk
tr-tgh steak, he never says a word.
Personal Magnetl*m.
Jeweler Your watch is magnetized.
Have you been near a dynamo or rid-
ing on the electric cars, recently?
dim Hickey No; but I've been—er—
calling a good deal on a very attractiva
young lady.
In a I Mine Uuaeuui.
Living Skeleton (to Glass Eater, who
seems to be in pain) What's ailingyou '
Glass Eater -Them hot biscuits I eti
at tho boardin'-house this morntn' '*
give me the indigestion.
I.out Opportunities.
Papa—Mercy! what an interrogation
point you are! I'm sure I didn't ask
such strings of questions when l was
a boy.
Little Son Don't you think if you
had, you'd be able to answer more of
mine?
(Md Ways Too Slo\r.
Homeboy—What's your idea in lug-
ging your bicycle along on your pres-
ent trip to Europe?
Globetrotte I intend to take in the
picture-galleries this tiine^
The One Exception.
Laker (of Chicago) — Tammaby
sweeps everything in Now York.
Bleecker (of New York)—Yes; every-
thing but the streets.—Judge.
At a Disadvantage.
case he is doubtless the victim of foul
p) y."
Afler a momentary silence he
grasped my hand saving':
"You are, by far, more shrewd
would aid him in the attempt to bur
larize the bank—whose spoils were
Jim Seventeen hundred pounds.
Coal Dealer—That's right. Now
to be his if the attempt was success- come and paint these pepples black
ful—he would call it square. After —Judga.
How Women Identify.
The Timid Woman at the Front
Door, as the bell rings at 10 p. m.—
Who's there?
The Experienced Burglar Outside,
with confidence—It's me.
The Timid Woman at the Front
Door, unlocking the door—Oh! All
right if it's you. I thought it might
be somebody else.—Chicago News-
Kecord.
I.'esult of an Eating .Match.
Society of Huntington. Pa., was
much interested in a pigs'-feet-eatin^
match which took place a few nighH
ago. The feet had been nicely boiled
by a good housewife aud cash prizes
were offered to those who should de-
vour the largest number, First prize
went to a man who ale ten of the
feet and second to a boy who dis«
posed of night.
"*-V .£
I.azy Long—Hello, Mosey! Hain't
seen ye look so happy fur a dog's-age.
Wot luck hev ye struck now?
Mosey Round—Luck? Look at me
shoes! Der was a fashionable wedding
up der road hero a piece and idey
frowed shoes arter do bride, and I jest
laid low till they had gone and dc« I
made a collection. Look at me shoes!
Ain't dey beauts?
A Ulf( Hooin.
Mr. Gotham— How's business in your
lection?
Western Friend—Booming, sir, just
k-booming. Why, sir, in Dugout City,
Where I live, they are opening up new
Itreetsso fast that the whole towu i«
town with diphtheria.
McGrath (whose window-sash has
fallen and who has attracted uncon-
genial attention)—Sorra th' day 01 got
this rid nose upon me!
Hitting Him flack.
! Editor Cross Roads Chronicle—Wo
don't pay for poetry.
Poet—I'm glad to hear it; for if you
do, you have been getting cheated out-
rageously.
Columbus With Variation*.
Young Lady (to postal clerk)—Two
stamps, please.
Postal Clerk—Yes, ma'am; with or
without whiskers?
L'uavoidable Delay.
Teacher—Why were you so late thU
morning?
Willie Slimpson— Mainma overslept
herself and the cook had to get tha
breakfast.
A Ciraphlc Opinion.
Whipper—What do you think of those
missing word contests?
Snapper—I consider them a—fraud.
At the Chrlftteniiiff.
Mickey O'Shaughnessy Now. den
t'ree cheers fur de kid.
Patsey Doody—Dlvil a wan. De kid
kin howl fur himsilf.
The DreAStnaker'N llur\e«t.
The crinoline Dauie Fashion ha* decre-i l
must deck the fair,
And poor man will be encircled in iv*
meshes, like a Miare;
For the gowus that ravish uow bis parse,
and nigh deplete his storo,
Then will wholly loot the treasury, with
their twenty yards or mare
Women have no minds." said loidljf Ja<"k,
• Whatever the world may say;"
•1 am sure they have, growltd kx'tnt
back,
' Aud they rhange them every da/.*
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Ingle, E. P. The Norman Transcript. (Norman, Okla. Terr.), Vol. 04, No. 27, Ed. 1 Friday, April 14, 1893, newspaper, April 14, 1893; (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc137086/m1/3/?q=j+w+gardner: accessed June 21, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.