Collinsville Times. (Collinsville, Okla.), Vol. 10, No. 48, Ed. 1 Tuesday, March 17, 1914 Page: 4 of 6
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COLLINSVILLE TIMES.
TUESDAY, MARCH 17.
COLLINSVILLE TIMES
Issued Semi-Weekly—Tuesday and
Friday.
Steenrod & Potter, Owners.
F. L. Steenrod, Editor.
D. B. Potter, Manager._
Entered at the Collinsville postoffice
as second-class matter.
Subscription, per year.............$2.00
Office Telephone ...................200
Residence Telephone ...............222
STAMPEDE!
Dor you remember Minas—tiie poor
cuss whose request that everything he
touched might turn to gold? As is the
fate of all such fools—he got his.
PARCEL POST CRITICISM.
The Merchants' association of New
York goes on record in opposition 10
the further extension of parcel post ser-
vice. The argument is based on the
statement that the postmaster general
means to extend the weight limit of
such parcels to 100 pounds.
The association holds that by such
extension the volume of traffic avail-
able to the express companies would
be so deflected as to force their retire-
ment from the held.
The association has been a very ef-
ficient agent in the work of forcing the
express companies to submit to regula-
tion by the interstate commerce com-
mission and it says now that under the
direction of the commission the express
service has been thoroughly reformed.
One difficulty that the merchants
feel quite naturally is that the govern-
ment does not collect parcels, does not
The reasonable and temperamentally
balanced man has no quarrel with; gjve reeeipts, does not provide indem
wealth in the abstract. With privilege j nj^y for iosg without extra payment
to help myself and with the mint works-
ing overtime I might finally become a
millionaire myself after, of course, ev-
eryone else. I understand and pity the
miser—a necessary evil without whom
we couldn't have the complex perverse
of a real world.
What little 1 have learned from the
primer to such diploma as I am en-
titled to sum up this privileged truth—
that money is of no value unless traded
for something.
Cattlemen are great traders and most
of them have money, therefore at their
convention at Oklahoma City recently,
they just had to trade, and they spent
their money on a pair of calves belong-
ing to “Queenie” a “Chi” lady, who
did the tango dance in the nude for
their amusement. I believe, however,
that some reports have credited her
with wearing a Mona Liza smile. She
was nearer true to nature, according to
the cattlemen, than September Morn,
for it is in the springtime when the
earth has little garb.
Oraveyards everywhere are glutted
with the bones of men who are bank-
rupt and of whom Mother Earth makes
her mummies—who died rich enough,
but whose last financial investment and
sole reward for their idiocy was a fine
funeral, and whom 1 could buy and sell
now on my usual overdraft at the
bank.
Weighed in the final and inevitable
coffin and shroud, thirty cents in a free
and virile hand is a fortune. But while
I command those who make ami main-
tain a circulating medium, which we
wouldn't have if it were all kept in a
sock, ami believe in the distribution of
the, long green insofar as its lavish use
and then only to the amount of $50.
does not pay for damage, 'does not pro-
vide proper records nor security for
valuables, but promotes damage and
loss by opening in transit, as it has a
right to do. Neither does it provide for
moving a wide range of special kiniLs
of goods.
The Merchants’ association, as quoted
above, is identical with an opinion pub-
lished in these columns two weeks ago
that the function of the government is
governmental only and should not be
extended to ownership. The parcel post
has made it possible to control the ex-
press companies through the corpora-
tion commission, but having done that
it should not be extended further.
“A-♦-4
An army ot unemployed, consisting
of twenty companies of ninety men
each, is headed for Washington from
Los Angeles. There’s too blamed much
trouble coming to a head in this coun-
try. Head ’em off with corn shredders
at Salina, Kansas! Pepper ’em with
“Help Wanted” Ads! Enfilade the
ranks with shovels and blow the 7
o'clock whistles! • Nothing raises so-
muchhhl with an army of unemployed
and nothing disperses them as' quickly!
--—-
These Mexican arrronrs must make
old Ethan Allen, who forced the lock on
Fort Ticonderoga. turn over in his nar-
row cell. Sometimes we wonder if
there is such a thing as a cussword in
spirit land. It would help a lot.
--<$>-
Colored wigs rail to maTro a hit but
we are warned that men will soon be
wearing ruffles. There may be ruffles
in their temper but hardly on any
contributes to comfort and human hap- j waists but those of Johnnies and Sissy
piness. yet there is a well recognized boys,
limit beyond which is profligacy, and
once this frontier is wantonly crossed,
the spendthrift finds but two things he
The Rock Island is in pressing need
of $50,000,000. So. is the Collinsville i
wants -wine and women. Singly, each j Times, but we have one advantage over
is temptation enough for both sinners; the Rock Island -we are quite accus-
aml saints—if together on one aeeosion j tomed to the need.
I very much fear that they would have I --<•>-
grabbed even the late Mr. Anthony. 1 Speaking of the Camel-and-finat pol-1
Speaking to this point it is my plain jt.y, we commend the man who spends
duty to remonstrate with the cattle- j $10,000,000.00 for Dauberino's “Old Lady
men. both of Oklahoma and Texas, who i With a Knitting Needle." and hollers
spent the money to bring “('hi-Oueenie" | about bis income tax.
to Oklahoma and to make the trip I -<?>-
worth while. It is claimed by the City Chicago women police are the terror
Ft deration of Women's clubs, of Okla-J of bad women in that town. They are
homa City, that ."Queenie" danced in , sterner than the men in enforcing law.
September Morn costume, the while six Perhaps it is because they are new to
thousand bottles of beer were consumed the business,
by the three thousand cattlemen in con- •
vention. I Some of the men who persistently
The federal authorities and a special shout “Let The People Rule" are of the
board of inquiry, appointed by judge1 opinion that the people show poor
Oldfield, with the Ministerial Alliance' judgment in their selection of leaders.
-<*>-—
"[ can make you a convincting speak-
er," says an inspirted advertiser, which
will probably drive a heap of married
men to this correspondence course.
--
Whi n a man is self-made he boasts
of it; when a woman is self-made she
hates to admit it.
-6>- .
Princeton will be quiet as ever though
Mr. Alfred Noyes is added to the
faculty.
are investigating the case.
The club women declare “womenhood
of that city has been insulted." They
contend that the ones responsible for
this entertainment are liable to punish-
ment under the Mann act (it being no
geutLman’s act). for transporting Some men will protest against giving
"Cateric" to Oklahoma City from their wives a quarter for a pair of
naughty .Chicago for “immoral pur- stockings and then spend a dollar to see |
poses." !a wrestling match.
"Queenie." without the conventional j ---f-i-
\i ils and beads, presented some dances i Nobody except a very good natured
that were not really modern. As she | man smiles when he hears his wife say
made her debut On the stage, clothed j she thinks black is "so becoming" to
about as the society women of the pres- j her.
cut day array themselves, she began to
disrobe, and throw her garments, con-
sisting of a pair of net work stockings
and one or two other abbreviated arti-
chs, into the audience. And it pleased
the cattlemen apparently, for an as en-
core to her dance, she was lifted from
the stage and walked through the. audi-
ence of cattlemen and beer bottles and
accepted a hat full of contributions.
Motion pictures, taken in Paris,
which in fact rivalled the feature act of
"Qu.iiiie." were also presented.
Evidmtly a cattleman, beside being
lonesome without a heifer to ga/e upon,
(•• set a dog’s leg by the bottle or
barrel, and rustle the requisite lint
quicker t0an anybody this side of I’itts-
burgh.
Three thousand cattlemen with un-
manicured boots under the tables, fol-
lowing the delivery of the six thousand
bottles of brew, sent the waiters away,
while the orchestra played Anna Held's
“Co'me Play Wiz Me," and for two
hours thereafter Lueullas and the lady
were alone. Her tresses were as car-
nally golden as it is certain shre'd for-
gotten her clothes—but the cattlemen
enjoyed their show—but how now?
The story is denied of course, for few
there are who will confess to degen-
eracy, but not one of them has proven
an alibi, claiming a case of gout as his
defense.
Pity 'tis; but surely true—possessed
of a roll of maweriek hide returns, the
path of righteousness which some of us
hot foot so easily is a mighty lonesome
and rocky road—for a cattleman in Ok-
lahoma City.
A woman is about as successful at
driving a nail as a man is at driving a
bargain.
—--
A man's will can be broken much
easier than a woman's won't.
—-—-
The oftener a man loses his tem[»er
the easier he finds it again.
--
It's a mighty truthful woman that
will admit she snores.
--_
Nagging father to spruce up on Sun-
day has driven many a one to buy an
automobile so he won’t have to.
-<$■--—■
“The liquor traffic needs a receiver,"
says a contemporary’s headline. A re-
ceiver or a receptacle?
it M. COLBURN, President
G. L. HICKS, Cashier
N1. O. COLBURN, Vice-President
H. C. BOLLMAN, Ass’t Cashier
Statement of
The First
National
Bank
at the Close of Business
March 4, 1914
The substantial growth which this
bank has enjoyed is the best evi-
dence that its service is both safe
and efficient. Ample capital and
surplus together with efficient offi-
cers and directors, places the First
National Bank in a most excellent
position to handle accounts of indi-
viduals and firms on a safe, Con-
servative basis.
Resources
Loans and Discounts $147,407.17
Warrants, Securities 9,558.88
U. S. Bonds - - - 6,500.00
Overdrafts - - - 4,756.88
Bldg, and Fixtures - 8,300.00
Cash and Exchange 80,769.65
Total - - - - $257,292.58
Liabilities
Capital - - - -
Surplus and Profits
Circulation - - -
Deposits - - -
Total - - - -
$ 25,000.00
20,563.32
6,500.00
205,229.26
$257,292.58
“St. Patrick's Day
In The Morning
is the surest sign of SPRING—the season when
the system needs toning up with a SAFE SPRING
REMEDY. We can recommend one that will
put new life in your body—a SAFE SURE
REMEDY for all SPRING ILLS.
WRIGHT’S
TRADE NAME
Phone 385 DRUG STORE
Phone 385
When Your Blood is Right,
Your Whole System
is Right
If You Have any Blood or Skin Disease
Do Not Delay until it is too late but Order
\
] TOD A Y! [
C. W. WRIGHT
FOR COMMISSIONER.
I hereby announce as a candidate to
succeed myself as county' commissioner
in the second commissioners’ district of
Rogers county, subject to the demo-
cratic primary.
T. J. WHLSENHUNT.
PAINTER AND PAPER HANGER
Morris Ave. next to Goyette Bldg
PHONE 399
Mrs. Frank 1’lass. of Bismarck, North
Dakota, a poor woman with seven chil-
dren of her own, has just adopted three
more younguns who were left parent-
less. Folks who know Mrs. i’lass says
she doesn’t play a very good game of
bridge.
FOR COMMISSIONER
We are authorized to announce that
Walter Young, of Limestone precinct,
will be a candidate before the Demo-
cratic primaries next August, for Com-
missioner of the commissioner’s dis-
trict.
P. J. DUFFY
General Contractor
and Builder.
COLLINSVILLE, OKLA.
Estimates furnished on all kinds
of buildings. I am prepared to do
all kinds of building and furnish
all kinds of building material as
cheap as can be bought, as we buy
everything in car-load lots, and car
save you 20 per cent on your build-
ings. Plans and specifications
furnished.
Vk
J. MADDEN
THE MAN OF ALL WORK
Nothing too Big or too Small.
All Work Guaranteed.
LOCK REPAIRING.
SAW FILING.
UPHOLSTERY,
ETC., ETC.
Fist door East Singer Sewing
Machine Company.
The Hot Springs
Remedy
a Complete and Positive Remedy for
Syphilis, Eczema, Erysipelas,
Acne, Rheumatism,
Malaria
and all other forms of Blood and Skin Diseases
Hot Springs Physicians pronounce this the Greatest
Blood and Skin Remedy ever placed
on the Market
Full Course Treatment—Five Bottles—$10.0(
Single Bottle—$3.00
We Prepare a Remedy for Every Disease
Write us your Troubles. All Correspondence
Strictly Private
HOT SPRINGS MEDICINE COMPANY
803 1-2 Central Avenue, Hot Springs, Ark.
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Steenrod, F. L. Collinsville Times. (Collinsville, Okla.), Vol. 10, No. 48, Ed. 1 Tuesday, March 17, 1914, newspaper, March 17, 1914; (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc1137799/m1/4/?q=coaster: accessed June 12, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.