The Hennessey Clipper (Hennessey, Okla.), Vol. 21, No. 33, Ed. 1 Thursday, December 29, 1910 Page: 4 of 8
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WAS A JOINT OF STOVEPIPE j
The Editor Thought It a Poem, and I
Was About to Eject His
Visitor.
He walked into the editor's office
as quietly as might a shadow, and
when that busy man looked up, start-
led, he was in the act of laying upon
the desk a circular roll of something
done up in brown paper. It was about
28 Inches long and eight lnch<s in di-
ameter. and upon this roll the editor
lived his eyes, while the hair on the
back of his neck began to rise like
that of an t nraged porker.
"1 wish," said the visitor, smiling
upon him, "that you'd look over—"
The editor arose with speed, kick-
ing over his chair. With dramatic
motion he pointed at the door.
"Gout!" he gulped hoarsely and
brokenly. Then his lost voice came
back to him on the wings of indig-
nation and he hopped up and down,
pointing at the fat roll on his desk
"What d'ye take me for?" he
Ecreeched; "take that thing away. Do
you s'pose 1 haven't anything to do
but wade through a bunch of guff like
a 13-inch gun? Take it away." The
visitor regarded him with some alarm.
"Say, old man," he said, "are you
tick?" The editor waved his arms.
"Don't you 'old man' me!" he howl-
ed; "get out!"
"Here," said the visitor, sternly, "1
came in here to pay my bill, and if
you don't want it—"
"Pay—bill?" said the editor, weak-
ly, bitting cjii the edge of the desk.
"Yes, I did," said the indignant vis
itor; "1 wish you'd look over your
Look and see—"
The editor seized him by tin* hand.
With the other hand lie pointed at the
fat roll on the desk.
"Then," he gulped, "it ain't a
poem?" The visitor scowled.
"No, it ain't a poem," he said: "it's
a joint of stovepipe." — Galveston
News.
TELLING
!TI IK NEWS;
"Well, I came over to be the first
one to tell you the news," beamed
Grandma PrlndivlUe. She spread her
voluminous black silk skirts over the
big rocker, put on her spectacles and
proceeded to extract her knitting from
her large shoestring bag. "Elviry
Dobbins and our Henery's goiu' to
make a mutch of it after all.
"My! My! it seems like a long time
since they begun keepln* company to
gether I guess Henery never looked
at another girl from the time they
went to school together—anyways not
while Klviry was around. Elviry she
had a plenty of beaux. My! Such a
flirt as that girl was! Hut she's so-
bered down considerably during the
last ten years. 1 used to tell Henery
he'd better quit—she wouldn't never
really take him. But Henery he'd al-
ways say: 'Gramma,' hod say, 'as long
as Elviry's single 1 won't quit. Win n
she's married to some other feller 1 11
take a back seat'
"Henery used to talk real open to
me about it sometimes and then again
he'd be as close-inouthed as a clam.
I mind one day when him and Klviry'd
been out for a long drive." Grandma
stopped to have a reminiscent chuckle
"1 guess she'd been giving him a chase
that day, lor Henery he come In to his
supper looking like a thunder cloud.
Maybe I'd ought to a knowed bet-
ter'n to say anything right then, but,
law! folks have to be pretty old before
they get any sense.
"Well, when Henery come in to sup-
per that night 1 didn't have no more
sense than to begin teasin' him about
Klviry.
SATURDAY
1, dec. :n
E Bi:RRI(;AN. Specialist.
Dr. COSE'S OFFICE
THE CUPPER
CUPID BUSY DURING HOLIDAYS
| Resulting in a Large Number of
Weddings in tbi Past
hew Days,
TO O UR FR!EI\'D$ A ND
CUSTOMERS
'.araar- z'rz..
tier ;it llmnewtey, t Ul;i
uluss matter.
G. F. SPUAGUE, EDITOR
JOHN Sl'K.U;UE, Iius. Men.
S'JBSCttlPIION PKICt, $1.00 A YlAft.
SIMPLE REMEDf FOR SNORING
An Amusing Story of How O. Henry,
the Author, Had a "Cork-
ing" Time.
Comparatively little was* ever writ-
ten about Sidney Porter, the short
story writer, under the mune of O.
Henry, until his death recently, but
since then no end of stlories have
crept out. A New YorkJ bartende r
who boasts of a close frieffftdship with
the late author tells an juicusing tale
of his introduction to Mr Porter.
Mr. Porter dropped In late one win-
ter night and ordered a hot toddy.
A hanger on, whom the bartender had
tried to pry loose from a chair in the
rear of the place, was snoring loudly
and had refused to be deposed.
"Why don't you <nrk him?" sug
gested Mr. Porter.
"'Cork him?' What in the world
Is that?" inquired the barkeeper.
"Very simple remedy very simple.
It's what we g«et down in Texas when
we drop off to si*'ep in a hondy-tonk."
After being granted permission Mr.
Porter started in to ffive an exposi-
tion of the "<jorking" game. He took
« large cork and split It half way up
the renter. Then he arranged several
wooden matches in thie other end. like
fo many quills in a pon upine's back
Cautiously he fastened 'the split cork
over the sleeper's noseband asked for
a large pail of water.
Standing at tin? hWc- m>C the unsus
pecting sleeper lie lighted one of the
matches. At the top of his voice he
Fhouted "Fire!" One match after
another ignited with *\ sharp crack,
and as the frightened^ sleeper jumped
to his feet Mr. Porter let go with the
water and drenched tiii 'i from head to
foot The man bolted for the door
half dazed, but wide av.ake enough to
think the place was on fire
The Modern Oanjghter.
"What time did yov jpet to bed last
night Matilda0" Imp lined the young
woman's father.
"Parent," remffed tflio haughty girl
"If you will address me by mv right
name I will endeavor to answer your
somewhat abrupt r/uary. I Jo not an
Rwer to Matilda 1 ncanse my name is
Mathilde."
"Very well, M; rtoeld,. go-ahoad with
your answer.
"1 do not knovr-whna time I retired."
the fair girl r.jBprmded. "Mr. Robin-
son Jones offered to reiiraJn here until
the appearance of ti* comet/'
"Good gracio us!" ctrled the excitable
parent, "it u? jgt har-e be*1!! half-past
3!"
' For th.tf said the girl with calm
indiffereuc •, "you inicst blamo the
'comet."
"Origin of Nuptial Kiss.
I The nuptial kiss, with a meaning
akin tc> that of the kiss of peace, had
its origin in a most serious and prac
tieal church ceremony known as the
espousals. Among mediaeval people
as among some classes of .lews today,
It was customary for the bridegroom
and the bride to meet before wit
ileuses in the church some days or
even v< eks before the marriage anil
there make a 1*1 edge of future union,
and at such ti trues a ring was usually
presented by the prospective husband
Sometimes, however, the uian was too
poor to buy the ornament, and instead
presented a kiss, which was doublless
more pleasant^ and was considered a
binding pledge before man and God
One Retort—and Another.
Joe Cose A chemist ought to be
quick at repartee
Moe Kose Why so?
J< e Cose He is always ready with
his retort HrownJug* Magazine.
'Henery,' 1 says, kind of chucklin'
to myself, 'how are the courtin' folks
getting along?'
"My! My! Put Henery was mad at
me! He said a word I never heard him
use before nor since, lie said it wasn't
any of my business, only ho made use
of a word that if lie'd been a little
smaller he'd 'a' got a good spankin'
for usin'." Grandma winked slyly
from sheer enjoyment of her grand-
son's lapse.
"Well, in the meantime," she contin-
ued, "Elviry was flirtln' with this one
and that one and t'other one and hav
ing a mighty line time, take it ali
round. Do you mind when Henery
had that attack of typhoid? Seemed
like he'd passed away half a dozen
times off and on and he was out of
his head till we all thought he never
would talk straight again. And all the
time it was: 'Elviry! Elviry! Why
don't Elviry come?'
"Well, bless your heart, one of the
first sensible things lie said when he
come to was: 'Gramma, how did El
vir. take it?'
" 'Take what, son?' 1 says, though 1
knew fast enough what he meant, but
I didn't quite know what to say, for
Elviry'd been flirt in' around like she
always did and happy as a clam.
" 'Me heir sick,' says Henery, and
his eyes seemed like they was goin' to
drop clear out the back of his head,
they was so awful sunk in.
"'Well,' 1 sa>s, kind of soothln',
'she came round to ask how you was
get tin' along every now and then.'
" How many times did she come?'
he says, kind of impatient.
" Well,' 1 says, 'I guess they ain't
no use beatin' round the bush about It,
Heiierey,' 1 says. 'She didn't come but
twice.'
"He lays back on his pillow and
laughs real soft like.
" Well, gramma,' he says, 'I guess
1 might about as well give up, don't
jou think?'
" Yes. Henery,' I says, 'It does look
that way.'
"Henery just set his lips tight, like
tile Watsons alwus do when they get
set You know, the Watsons ain't
like my side; they're just as pig-head-
ed as they can be! Well, I ain't goin'
to. gramma,' he says, 'not's long as
bhe ain't married to anybody else.'
It wasn't very long after that El-
viry up and married this here Eddy
Thompson that was about the poor
est excuse for a man that ever went
around on two legs.
They do suy there was times when
they didn't have enough to eat in the
house, but I don't know about that,
1 for Elviry was too proud to say a
word Hut ever, body knows she
took in plain sew in' and did every-
thing she could help along, and mighty
poor plckin's she got, too. I guess
when Eddy Thompson died and took
himself out the way it was the best
day's work he'd done in a long time,
even if he did leave Elviry with that
little spindle-shanked young one
that they call Margarita to take cato
of."
Grandma gave way once more to
| jo: ous chuckles
I ' Seems like the minute Henery
1 heard about Eddy dyin' he started in
with his courtin' agin, lie went right
over and took charge of everything
lor Elviry, her not bavin' any men
, lolks handy My! My! Hut the Wat-
sons are pig headed!
j " Tin goin' to get her this time,
: gramma,' he says to me about a couple
oi w< . ks after the fun'ral And shor«j
j enough, he's done it."
Grandma sat and smiled to herself
; for a minute or two, rocking gently
j back and forth.
"Henery 11 make Elviry a mighty
good husband," she resumed, "even 11
In- is awful set. He's a good provider,
and if he hadn't been so set some
1 other girl ud 'a' had him before this;
so 1 think things will work out well
* enough, come to think about it."
Arm and Leg Broken
A serious accident occured to
the seven-year-old son of P. M.
Shew about six miles southwest
of town Sunday noon. Mr.
Shew was driving overland from
Hobart, Otfla , to Missouri, ac-
icompanied by his three sons,
llis outtit consisted of a team, a
covered wagon and a buggy trail-
ling behind the wagon. The lit-
tle lad had been riding in the
buggy when he decided he would
get in the wagon with his two
brothers, the father walking.
In endeavoring to climb in the
wagon while m motion, he placed
'his foot on tha double tree un-
noticed by the boys and on the
oppisite t-ide of the wagon from
his f .ther. The foot shipped
throwing him beneath the front
wheel which passed over th"
right arm below the elbow and
the left leg below the knee crush
ing the limbs in a frightful man-
ner. lie was taken to the John
Murry home nearby and Drs.
Rector and Oil Hum were sum-
moned. Later he was brought to
town and his father started for
Hobart with him on No. 35, leav-
ing the other bovs at the Mu>-
ry home. The doctors fear the
arm will have to be amputated.
Death Results From Heart Failure
Henry Washington (colored)
an old resident of Kingfisher
county, and for many years a
porter on the llock Isiimd rail-
road died at his home ten mile-
west of town Saturday, Dec. 24
Deceased was (is years eleven
months and twenty four days of
age and was quite well to do.
He leaves one daughter who ac-
companied the remains to Tope-
Ua, Kansas, Tuesday morning
'or burial.
C ard of Thanks
We desire to thank our friends
and neighbors for the sympathy
and many kindnesses shown us
duriug the illness and death of
our beloved mother.
MH. and Mrs. A. P. Hkkschkk
Muts. Mabel Weeks,
Lincoln. Nebraska.
Mrs. (ieorge
been seriously i
laid in, who has
, is much better
(Continued from first page.) J
+
+
Henry-Tittle I
•
Mr. Thomas little, of Enid, +
and Miss Klla Pearl Henry, of j
ibis city, were united in marri +
age at the home of the bride's +
parents at hi.nh noon Tuesday, +
December 27. Only a few friends ! J
and relatives witnessed the cere- j
ninny. The groom's mother and f
Joseph Henrv, an uncle of ti e J
bride, from Enid, being the out ,
of-town guests. The innrriageit
rites were performed by Ivev : +
N. Paul Barton, pastor of the M
E. church.
The rooms were prettily de-
cerated with bells and ferms.
The bride was attired in a hand
some gown of changeable silk
An elegant wedding dinner was
served after the ceremony.
The bride is the daughter ol
Mr. and Mrs. .J. Q. Henry, ol
this city, and is one of our bright
est and most charming youn^
ladies. She has spent most of
life here and has many friends
who are wishing her the great
happiness she deserves.
The groom is a young man ol'
sterling worth, who lias been
in the employ of the Alton Mer-
cantile Co., at Enid, fur the past
four years. The groom has ai.
elegant little home prepared at
Enid for his bride, handsomely
furnished and modern in every
detail where they will beat home
soon after the first of January.
Patrick-Mil !iken
Miss <\lice A. Patrick and Mr.
Otis O. Milliken wore married
at the home of Mr. and Mrs. A J
Mongold, five miles from town,
Thursday, December 1'2, liev
N Paul Barton, paster of the
M. E. church at Hennessey, of-
ficiating.
Mr. and Mrs Milliken will
reside on the groom's farm west
of Hennessey. 'J heir large cir-
cle of friends extend sincerest
wishes for future happiness.
Big Stock Sale
Thos. and M. P. Water.-, will
have a big sal • of fine horses,
mares and mules at their farm
2 1 2 miles north and 14 mill s
west of Hennessey on Thursday,
January, 5th, Mil. They have
listed in their sale 27 head of
horses, mares and mules. The
mares listed are all good stock
and well bred. Some are bred
to Jack and some to Percheron
stallion. The horses a id mules
listed are also exceptionally
good stock. Col .1. L Vlur
will conduct the salt
particulars see their
We desire to express our thanks and
appreciation for the most generous pat"
ronage you have i^iven us throughout ti*,
year. We also he^ to wish ycu
comolements of the season
the
A HAPPY NEW YEAR
May the coming year he one of health
and prosperity to you.
* 5
iii
The
Sierzberg & Sternbcnjer, Prop
0.
*MH+H+-H'H++H't'++ H++<"!-!.+t++t'l-+++++++tH+t'l I-I--M x
We wish all Our Pat-
rons, Subscribers and
Friends a very Heal-
thy, Happy and Pros-
perous New Year, and
thank all of our Pat-
rons and Subscribers
for the liberal patron-
age and support they
gave us the past year.
The Sprague Printing
Company, Publishers,
The Menuessey Clipper
?• \ o 5
Mo Lime Phosphate
Alum in ^
!e<( powtJcr
(iamieious an3
fcc prc-Mb-Vci
iwciiziT, .S.ate I
rsnisj again
V
E! "makes home baking easy" cn<2
Gives aieer, belter and cleaner food
Cli&n the " ready-manle/' There is
riO baking powder or preparation
Tike ?.! or e^u&I 14 lor quickly
and perfectly inalJiio the delicate
r;ol biscuits, ho] bi-ead, muEtln,
cah? aaJ paltry.
Z0
i:\rn
J. \ V—J
WE WISH OUR I
AND PATRONS A I IAP
PY AND PROSPER-
OUS NEW YEAR
We at ail times endeavor
patronage vvii.li qualify,
and courteous treatment
to
|,ri,
:rA
merit
z5 and
) v-'
fair
thank you
all fcr ycur patror.o^e in
C-C3XZ?LSinu*.VL ^1 T:\1
Ci
'</ -J
1910.
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11
ProDs.
Hennessey, C.
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Aro prepared ti do
HEAVY HAULING
Promptly on short notice. I rei';lit
incur loiid iinJ sni.iil L)1 iJo'ivr;-
ruce McKim, of the Leeg-|
1 Lumber Co., is • fending '
this week with lieiuo It ;l;s if. !
Kansas City.
erine Wi' Wish to Th .ina
. . . , Our 1) lends and ci;: ! tmev:i t r
'!n,'"s their f, ereroas patronage dur-
\iT" ling tile rust year and wish them
a hap py and prosperc'i:, N^w
Year.
H, D. BREWER
icwcit ' and Op ician
Liberal al lowanci
machii.es ir « hangi
■ i", easy t fcrn
E.
fur
>r a l
M l' Aii wr i-.i.
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Sprague, G. E. The Hennessey Clipper (Hennessey, Okla.), Vol. 21, No. 33, Ed. 1 Thursday, December 29, 1910, newspaper, December 29, 1910; Hennessey, Oklahoma. (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc105741/m1/4/?q=%22%22~1: accessed June 24, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.