The Hennessey Clipper. (Hennessey, Okla.), Vol. 17, No. 26, Ed. 1 Thursday, November 22, 1906 Page: 3 of 8
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Good Jokes
SPOONER'S CONCEIT.
"Do you really mean It, Mr. Spoon-
er, when you say I am the best girl
in the world?" asked Miss Flypp,
after the young man had suggested
that she should become Mrs. Spoon
er.
"Indeed I do. Miss Flypp," asser-
vated the young man. "1 say it again
—you are the best girl in the world.
"And the loveliest, I think you
said?"
"The loveliest without doubt."
"I think you said something about
my accomplishments, too?"
"I did. 1 said they excelled those
of any other girl."
"I believe you called ine sweet?"
"A sweeter woman ne'er drew
breath," quoted the ardent lover.
"You used the word 'perfect,' too,
did you not?'
"I did. I also pronounced you the
pink of perfection, propriety and mod-
esty, the empress of my heart, the
peerless one among the beauteous
creatures of your sex, a maiden ador-
able. enchanting, and worthy of the
hand of the best man on earth. Say
the word that will make me the hap-
piest man on earth, my own Dora."
"Before 1 give you an answer, Mr.
Spooner, I should like to ask you
one question."
"A dozen, if you like."
"One will be enough. Don't you
think that you have a great deal of
assurance to expect a woman with
all those excellent qualities to marry
such an ordinary man as you?"
Then Mr. Spooner went home.
The Profitable Customer.
Purchaser—Those matches 1 had
yesterday were not good.
Proprietor of Shop—I'm very sorry,
sir, but you never buy anything else
of me.
Purchaser—Well, I shan't deal here
any more.
Proprietor of Shop (to his errand
boy)—Hill, go and shut up the shop
at once.
TOOK IT AS A PROPOSAL
with
HER MOTOR TONGUE.
X*5 va rt
He (very fond of dogs)—Miss
White, don't you think you ought to
have an intelligent animal about the
house that would protect you, and—
She—Oh, Mr. Muffins, this is so sud-
den !
Different Mending.
"Yes, Rounder was addicted to
poker and cocktails before the mar-
riage. She told him it was never too
late to mend' and he reformed."
"That was fine."
"Yes, but now he is telling her it
is 'never too late to mend.' "
"In what way?"
"Why, he keeps her up until long
after midnight mending his shirts and
stockings."—Chicago Daily News.
Intercepting the Mail.
College Student (nervously) — Did
the prima donna get my bouquet?
Stage Doorkeeper—Yes, sir; but
that six-foot young feller you see bad
I there got the letter. He's her son.—
X. Y. Weekly.
C/.ME EASY.
Our New York Letter
Interesting Gossip from Gotham Town Prize-Winning Horses Are
Guests at Millionaire's Dinner—Free Magazine for Blind to Be
Published.
NEW YORK.—Harvey S Ladew. many times
a millionaire, who attracted attention in the tash-
ionable 'world a few years ago b> originating «i
buck-ami wing dance, has eclipsed all previous
attempts at novel entertainment with a pon>
Forty guests were summoned to his mansion
at Glencove to celebrate the victories won by the
Ladew entries in the Piping ltock horse show
and two of the four-footed winners had places at
the board, while three more were led through the
banquet hall by grooms in livery and fed with,
sugar plums.
The Ladew country seat is one of the unest
on Long Island. The dining-room, built in the
colonial style, accommodated 100 diners com-
fortably. The hospitable mahogany was in the
form of a horseshoe. Directly over it were in-
candescent electric lights in horseshoe form and
lectric nails between the inner and outer edges of the shoe.
Near the curve of the table on either side were the box stalls of wnnr
wood, garlanded with roses and bedecked with the blue ribbons won by the
occupants. The stalls were close enough to the table for the horses there
to poke out their velvety noses for caresses.
The table equipment, all made to order, was symbolical of the occasion.
The silver salt cellars were miniature feed boxes. The golden cehny holders
were replicas of the hayracks and all the glassware was engraved with deli-
cate little scenes of the field, the road and the course.
ZIEGLER RICHES TO HELP THE BLIND.
A monthly magazine for the blind, the first
to be published in America, the second periodical
of its kind in the world, is the benefaction tor
which Mrs. William Ziegler, widow of the late
baking powder king, has supplied funds.
The limited number of books that have been
printed with raised characters are so expensive
as to be beyond the reach of thousands of poor
folk, whose poverty is made the more unbearable
by lack of sight.
"Ben Hur," for instance, which sells in de-
partment stores for one dollar or less, in type
for the blind sells for $10.50. Other books that
have been put into raised type are proportionately
as expensive. The blind, shut out from the thou-
sands of pleasures that come through the sense
of sight, enjoy intensely the reading of books. So
far little has been done to provide literature for
the 70,000 blind persons of this country.
The magazine will contain news of the day, short stories reprinted by
permission from leading periodicals and contributions from blind readers
themselves. Letters from inmates of state blind schools all over the country,
telling of the work being done by them, will be one of the features.
it is not known what will be the annual cost of this m
can be learned how many of the blind persons of the United St
The first estimate secured from a printing house on 10,000 copies a month
was $60.0( 0 a year, but this figure can be considerably reduced.
It is hoped that some other wealthy person may soon become interested
in printing for the blind, and undertake a circulating library,
thousand dollars would start such a library in every state in the union, glv
ing books to each stite to the value of about $4,000.
^3
Seasonable
Entertainments
u>v and
Suggestions
for Social
Functions
TTang a pumpkin from the cplliiiQ,
within easy reach of the guests
Cut
By EDITH A. BROWN
I Society Editor of the Chicago Record-Herald.
Fitting Celebration to Commemorate
Bryant's Birthday — A Quotation
Menu—Stunts for the Young Peo-
ple oil Hallowe'en—Girls Hunt for
Cabbage Heads—The Water, Hair
and King Trick.
will
"Clara's got a tongue like a motor.
"Like a motor. How's that?"
"She's always running people
down."
Have You Noticed?
"1 think Dick and Katharine
coon be married."
"Why, dear?"
"Well, 1 passed by the old porch
last nignt and I heard her calling him
pet names."
"Gracious! And was she calling
him 'ducky' and 'dearest' and 'angel-
face?' "
"Well, I should say not. She was
calling him 'dunce,' 'goose' and
'stupid.' "
"You don't mean it!"
"I do, and that is always a sure
sign a girl is in love with a man."—
Chicago Daily News.
his
The social committees of the worn
an's clubs may lind more than a pass
ing interest in an American poets
luncheon series. For instauc
liam Cuiien Bryant luncheon will mal>
a good beginning for tue fall with N
vein her 3 as the anniversary
birth.
Bryant was so fond of the autumn
and its foliage that the fall decorations
will be particularly appropriate. The
tables, too, may be done after his na
ture poems. For the decoration « ! one
table, use yellow autumn leaves.
Through the center of the tab I
a long, wide yellow ribbon
is printed "The melancholy days are
come," from his "Death of the Flow-
ers." For another, use the red autumn
leaves, the red ribbon, on which is
printed "When woods begin to wear
the crimson leaf," from his "October.
A third table in golden rod, will have
the yellow ribbon, on which is done
"The golden rod is leaning," from his
"My Autumn Walk." For another ta-
ble, use the next line of the same poem
I "The purple aster waves.
| in or pasted upon the surface of tue
I pumpkin have th ■ letters of the alpha-
bet. in turn provide the guests with «
long knife -the bread knife will do.
The pumpkin is twirled and while it is
1 yet spinning the person with the knife
thrudts it into the pumpkin. The let-
ter stabbed will be the initial of the
name of the future helpmeet.
The old trick of the glass of water.
! the hair and the ring, is good for llal-
! lowe'en. Fill a glass a bit more than
! one-half full of water, tie a ring on a
j hair from your own head and hold stis-
I petided just above the water. Repeat
the alphabet slowly while the ring
| swings as it w ill. There must be no
effort on the part of the holder to
swing the ring. As the letters are said
the ring probably will lilt the sides f
the glass touching at the sound of the
letters which will form the initials oi
the name of the future wife or hus-
band
Suspend crossed rods of witch hazel
from the ceiling. From one end hang
a piece of bread, another a bit of candy
or cake, another a candle-end and an-
other a red pepper. This is kept spin-
ping. the object being to snatch in the
teeth one of these pieces. If the bread
is caught married life is to be peaceful
and commonplace; if the sweet, ii is
a Wil- l to be delightful; it' the candle end. dis-
agreeable. and if the pepper, peppery.
Another trick, which means merely
fun and not fortune, is found in tying
a raisin in the middle of a long piece
of thread. Two people are given the
ends of the thread, the object being to
determine which will be the first to
chew along the thread to the raisin.
(Copyright, by Joseph B. Bowles.)
run |
which TOLD BY OLD CIRCUS MAN
An Incident Which Showed That
There Are Points in Giv-
ing Medicine.
TAKING THEM IN TIME.
BELIEVE OIL MEN CONTROL MILK TRUST.
Employes of the milk trust have learned, al-
though no official announcement has been made,
that on the 1st of November, the price of milk
and cream will be advanced by the $25,000,000
corporation which has the supply of New York
city firmly in its grasp.
The price probably will be nine cents a quart
for milk and 12 cents a half pint for cream, an
increase for the year of some $7,000,000 in milk
bills for the city.
The Borden company's competitors found it
necessary last month to advance the price of
cream and of certified milk. Some of them de-
clare. however, that the price of ordinary milk
will remain at eight cents. The trust meantime
held off. and although it was intimated in vari-
BROTHER5 TWO
ARE
oils quarters that conditions have been brought to appropriate for the place cards,
a point where Ihe screws could be put down tight- This place card may be a folder, one
er on the consumer, no move was made, and many |ia]f to be used for a menu, and here,
"You're always in debt? You
ought to be ashamed of yourself."
"Oh, 1 don't know! If you were in
my place you'd probably be in debt,
too."
"What place?"
"Able to get credit."
love
Waning Affections.
Angelina—I don't believe you
me as much as you did, Edwin.
Edwin—Pooh! nonsense! What
makes you think that?
Angelina—Well, it's several days
now since you called me a vain and
heartless little flirt, and I know 1
haven't changed.—Cassell's Journal
Mistress—What do you mean, Mima,
by putting on my newest boots, which
I've only worn once myself?
Housemaid—But, ma'am, if you'd
worn the boots many times they'd be
much too large for me!—Fiiegende
Illaetter.
Not Likely to Be Around.
Mr. Societie—Are you not going to
call on the bride?
Mrs. Societie—I would be perfectly
willing to call on her, but 1 don't
want to meet her husband.
"Oh, I guess there's no danger of
meeting him. They've been married
six weeks."—N. Y. Weekly.
Before Taking.
Customer—Seo here; you say this
medicine will cure consumption. You
don't look as if it would.
Consumptive Drug Clerk — I — I
haven't begun taking it yet—N. Y.
Weekly.
Further Particulars.
The monkey had used the cat's
paw for pulling his chestnuts out of
the hot ashes.
"Serves me right," said the cat,
"for being in bad company. I can't
kick."
Finding, however, that she could
still scratch, she proceeded at once
to make several long incisions in the
monkey's countenance—a feature of
the incident which escaped the histo-
rians of that period.—Chicago Trlb-
Lubricated.
Miss Sparkle—Is Ferdy's automobile
an easy runner?
Cholly (ilinn—Sure, his dad pays the
bills.—N. Y. Herald.
QUITE NATURAL.
LADIM
CLUB^
customers of the independents were induced to transfer their patronage
It is asserted with a marked degree of confidence by some of the inde-
pendents that the $25,000,000 Borden company is virtually in possession of the
interests which "the street" calls the Standard Oil crowd.
it is believed that the board of directors of the trust represents capital- .
ists higher up, whose methods in building a milk monopoly savor so strongly j
of Standard Oil procedure that, one man said, a milk trust bottle smelled like j
a kerosene can.
TENANTS' UNION ORGANIZED TO SEEK REFORM.
The Tenants' i'nion of New York has been
organized. To get legislative relief for the rent
payers of the city is the purpose of the organiza-
tion, and to this end letters have been sent out
to the candidates for the state legislature calling
upon them for support.
Treasurer George Graydon and President
Cornelius Donovan alone are bearing the expenses
of the organization, which they now claim lias a
membership of over 5,000.
"We dont' intend to indorse any candidate
for oilice," said Mr. Donovan, "but we do expect
to be indorsed by some of the candidates for pub-
lic office. The Tenants' Union is nonpolitical in
character, working for a relief which can come
from either party and be equally welcome. There
are two questions, however, that I would like to
have answered by the judges now running for
oilice. They are:
" 'Would it be constitutional to limit the landlords in the same manner
as the pawnbrokers and money lenders are limited under the law?'
" 'Is the landlord's demand "more money or your home" a free contract?'
"Our organization is directed at downing the dishonest landlord, whom
we purpose to drive out of the city. These sharks hunt out a group of ten-
ants whose rent has not been raised in a year and buy the building over
their heads for the sole purpose of hoisting the rent. This practice should
be stopped by legislation, and we expect to develop some deflnito plan of
action at the coming mass meeting."
WOMAN CHEF FOR WOMAN'S CLUB THE LATEST.
Following the initiative just taken by the
Marlborough, the exclusive woman's club of Ixm-
don, employing a woman to preside over Its cull'
"Generally speaking," said the old cir-
cus man, according to the New York
Sun, "the great giant was as well a man
an 1 ever knew; and he enjoyed his
good health e-mensely..
"But like the wellest of well men, lie
did occasionally have ills off day. ll is
a curious fact, though, that he was never
sick on the road; whether it was the con-
stant excitement, or what, that kept
] him keyed up in shape, I don't know;
l but in all the years he was with us there
! never was a day when the great giant
I failed to show as advertised, it was
! when we got off the road, in our winter
quarters, where we had nothing to do,
lhat he would have these occasional lit-
tle turns.
"What I really set out to tell you
about was a funny, queer sort of tiling
thai did happen once when the giant
really got sick when we were in win-
ter quarters.
"He was good and sick this time, and
of course the minute we realized this
fact we hustled for a doctor on the
jump. AiKl we had to get a doctor from
town. Our own doctor, who traveled
with the show, and lived with it, hap-
pened just then to be away attending to
some personal matter.
"We got, of course, the star man
there, and he came and looked the giant
again, quotations may be worked in j oyer golng at |t a man that knew
with some cleverness. For a soup , \vluU he W11H about, and then ha
course, instead of the name | wrote a prescription for him which w>;
KOt Riled by our swiftest rider, and so wh
with tb
agazlne until it ' ()Urpie"asler for iloral decorations and
States can read. [he |ml.,,|p ribbon. Still another table
will be in yellow, with this quotation
from the "Death of the Flowers; 1 he
Two hundred yellow sunflower ... in autumn
beauty stood," the sunflower, of course,
being used as the decoration. Again,
his poem, "To the Fringed Gentian,
may be used as the foundation for a
pretty table, the flower Itself to form
the center decoration, with the blue
ribbon bearing the quotation wliih is
the opening of the poem, "Thou blos-
som . . . colored with the heaven's
own blue."
For place cards, if these are desired,
i plain white card, decorated with a
small head of the poet, will form a
pretty souvenir. Beneath have print-
ed in the color In which the table is
done; "William Cullen Bryant, Novem-
ber 3, 1794-Jtine 12, 1878." The poems
re full of quotations which will be
BACK
use the following quotation from his
"To the Past:"
"In thy abysses hide
Beauty and excellence unknown."
For an oyster course, the following
from "The Evening Wind;"
"Thou hast been out upon the deep at
play."
For a fowl course, this from "The
Death of the Flowers; "
"The robin and the wren are flown."
Fish can bring forth another quota-
tion from "The Evening Wind;"
"I welcome thee
To the scorched land, thou wanderer
of the sea."
These two lines from "Thanatopsis"
can be used for potatoes;
"Earth that nourished thee, shall claim
Thy growth, to be resolved to earth
again."
"The Future Life" may furnish this
quotation for the wheat bread:
"In meadows fanned by heaven's life-
breathing wind."
The salad course will bring another
quotation from "To ihe Past:"
"Full many a mighty name
Lurks in thy depths."
A short line from "America" will
serve for the dessert:
"How loved thou art!"
This from "The Death of the Flowers"
may be used for the nuts:
"The sound of dropping nuts Is heard."
Then will come the coffee, for which
nary affairs, the Colony club. New York's most the poem
"October" furnishes this
-AtzB
Mr. Monk—I've beaten you by six
tricks.
The Giraffe—Yes, monkey tricks!
All of It.
"I am thinking of buying me an
auto; how much will it cost me to
keep It In trim after 1 get It?"
"I don't know; I have not tile least
Idea what your income Is."—Houston
Post.
Taking the Walter Down.
Dlnei—What have you got?
Walter—I've got calves' liver,
sheep's brains, pigs' feet—
Dlnei—I don't want a list of your
physical peculiarities; all 1 want to
Uuow Is what you've got to eaL
fashionable woman's club, just building at the
corner of Madison and Thirtieth streets, has de-
cided to do likewise.
Announcement has been made that among
the 30 employes it will require to conduct this
club properly the principal consideration—namely,
the chet—is a woman. Mrs. Naylor. for several
years the celebrated chef of W. C. Whitney and
later with one of London's most prominent fam-
ilies, has been engaged by the Colony club to
lill this Important place.
Mrs. Naylor's advent In New York club life
will be a decided Innovation when It Is remem-
bered iliat tho Martha Washington hotel, which
is decidedly prejudiced in favor of women em-
ployes, even to bellglrls, employs a man chef, as well as all women's clubs
and lunchrooms which women patronize exclusively.
EDUCATING THE AFRICAN PIGMY.
Otto Bcnga, the African pigmy, has changed very much since he was
transferred from the monkey cage at the Bronx Zoological gardens to the
Howard Colored Orphan asylum, though little more than a month has passed
since he was rescued from the companionship of a chimpanzee by a delega-
tion of negro ministers. Attired in all the trappings of civilization, even to
a watch, he takes Ills seat In the classroom every morning. He can spell
his name now, and write it with the assistance of his teacher, although he
tries to drink the ink between lessons. He howls with glee whenever he
writes his name or finishes repeating three letters of the alphabet, and one
the task is over struts around the room, to the delight of htB playmates, wl.
whom he is very popular. Since his release from the monkey cage at tin
zoo his rescuers have been paying quite a little attention to his spiritual wel
lure Hut Otto Is a heathen, pure and simple, and the superintendent st.ys It
is very hard to hold his attention long enough to teach him anything. The
only complaint the pigmy has made about his new surrounding! it that hu
has not been provided with a wlf .
quotat ion:
"Aye, thou art welcome!"
During the afternoon let some one
give a short sketch of the poet's life
and work and autumnal songs be sung, j
Some Hallowe'en Tricks.
To-morrow brings the night of all
nights for fun and frolic. Here are a !
few tricks which have been tried and
not found wanting:
This trick will call for some bravery
on the part of the girls of the crowd.
Eany in the evening plant in the back
yard a quantity of cabbage heads. A
portion of these will be covered with
black mosquito netting, others with
red, still others with brown, and part
will be left In the original state.
When the party is at its height a
girl Is chosen from the crowd and
made to steal around the house alone.
She must walk backwards to the place
where the cabbages are planted, stoop
down without looking and seize a cab-
bage head. The color of the covering
foretells the color of her future hus-
band's hair. If she draws a cabbage
in its natural state it means she is to
be an old man's darling. The use of
the cabbage head may not be compli-
mentary to the boys, but It's fun and
cornea straight from ttcotland.
began doctoring the giant, with that
physician coming three times a day to
look him over. '
"He seemed a wine man, sure enough,
who knew just what he was doing, but
the giant didn't Improve; in fact, he got
Ficker; and then the old man tele-
graphed the show doctor to come and
look after the giant.
" 'Why,' said our own doctor as soon
ay he arrived, 'I can't go in and push
the doctor that you've called right off
the map. You might want to call him
i galn. any time, and It wouldn't do any-
way. We must ftbserve the proprieties.
You must get him to call me in consulta-
tion.'
| "The old doctor didn't fancy that,
much, but he did It, and the town doc-
tor called our doctor in. I don't think
the town doctor fancied this very much
himself, but he did, and in about a mln •
ute our doctor gave him a jolt that must
have made him change his opinion of
circus doctors.
"He listened with all due dignity and
decorum and even with a touch of def-
erence, our doctor did, to what the man
from town had to say about the case,
what he had prescribed, and then our
doctor asked to see the prescription,
und when he had scanned this:
" 'Doctor,' he suid, gravely and po-
litely. and he could be very grave and
polite, 'doctor,' he said, 'your diagnosis
of the case, if you will permit me to say
so, does credit to our profession, and th.i
remedies you have prescribed are pre-
cisely those that I would have pre-
scribed myself, but I think that you
have perhaps overlooked one feature nf
the case, and that Is the patient's di-
mensions. The quantities called for In
your prescription are such as would be
administered to a man of normal site;
but this man is approximately threo
times that size. I think if you would
multiply the quantities In your prescrlp-
I tlon by three you would find the patient
1 readily responding to treatment '
"1 could see the great giant's kneed
! wriggling under his blanket—he en-
I joyed it all better than the town doe-
tor did; but the doctor prescribed, on
the spot, In accordance with the con-
sulting physican's suggestion—the two
doctors became friends, as a matter nf
fact, after that—and in three days the
giant was around again us well as ever"
An Expert.
"Are you one of the expert wit-
nesses?" inquired the court officer.
"I am," answered ihe high finan-
cier. "I've been on the stand two hour®
and haven't told 'em a thlm."—
Waihlngtou Star.
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Miller, C. H. The Hennessey Clipper. (Hennessey, Okla.), Vol. 17, No. 26, Ed. 1 Thursday, November 22, 1906, newspaper, November 22, 1906; Hennessey, Oklahoma. (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc105524/m1/3/?q=wichita+falls: accessed June 20, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.