The Gayly Oklahoman (Oklahoma City, Okla.), Vol. 21, No. 1, Ed. 1 Wednesday, January 1, 2003 Page: 17 of 24
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Sure He Was Sick, But You Should
Have Seen Her Rash.
Ruby Ann Boxcar here with a recipe
that's so good Senator Don Nichols
would have actually stabbed his good
friend and fellow Republican Bigot Trent
Lott in his chest rather than directly in
his back, just for a second servin'. Hap-
py New Year! We made it to yet another
one, and v'all have been given another
chance to repent of your evil and wicked
ways and move into a trailer park.
LOL. I'm just jokin'. You ain't got to re-
pent to move into a trailer park, you just
have to tell us all the juicy details of your
ways!
You know I just love Christmas time,
but it seems like we folks at the High
Chaparral just seem to have the worst
problems with this holiday. I don't know
what the heck the deal is, but every
blessed December Christmas just seems
to go right down the old flusher, and this
year was no exception.
The first thing that went south was
the weather. We got a terrible winter
storm on the night of the 23rd that just
covered us with ice and snow. Mind you,
normally that ain't bad, but this was a
heavy storm, which meant the roads
were terrible. And since Me-ma lives over
in the Last Stop Nursing Home, we have
to go out and pick her up for
the holidays. With this
weather we were gettin', we
all knew that there was just
no way we was gonna be
able to throw her in the back
of the truck even for the short
15 minute drive from the
nursin' home back over to
the High Chaparral, and
with her bladder, well, let's
just say, she wasn't gonna be
ridin' inside any of our cars either. Of
course we had to come up with some kind
of plan to retrieve the old girl since the
nursin' home always closes for Christmas
and all inmates have to be picked up. Well,
as luck would have it, my slightly simple
niece, Lulu Bell, has a slightly simple boy-
friend who happened to have one of them
enclosed horse trailers that we could use
to transport Me-ma from point A to point
B. He ain't got a horse, but he's always
wanted one so he bought a horse trailer a
few years back just in case somebody ever
gives him a horse. Hey, I told you he went
out with Lulu Bell. So what do you expect?
The best part of the whole thing was that
he and his 1978 VW Beetle with the horse
trailer attached to the back had spent the
night over at Lot #8 with Lulu Bell on the
23rd. I'd say it was luck, but he spends lots
of time over at Lulu Bell's and he always
has that stupid trailer hooked up to his car.
We had the Me-ma carrier, but now all we
needed was a way to get it over to the nurs-
in' home.
We found our answer in the form of
my sister Donna Sue's Corvette. One of her
old boyfriends talked her into buyin' that
piece of junk back when she saw it on the
side of the road with a sell sign for $200 in
the front window. He told her he could fix
it up and have it runnin' like it was brand
new. Well as you can guess, he was about
as good with cars as us Boxcars are with
Weight Watchers. He did get it runnin', but
the only thing was it wouldn't go no faster
than 25 miles an hour, which is handy
when drivjn' through a school zone, and
the dang think shoots fire out the muffler
for some bizarre reason Needless to say
just like every other man in her life, he
didn't stick around more than a week, but
that's another story. The good part was that
with the fire cornin' out of her muffler at
them slow speeds, she could easily melt the
ice on the roads, and if Lulu Bell's boy-
friend stayed right on her tail, he could
safely make it to and from the nursin'
home. Of course Daddy put chains on the
front tires of Donna Sue's car and him and
my husband Dew tied a few cinderblocks
on to the front and back bumper to keep
the dang thing on the road. Bv the time they
was done, it looked like we was ready to
go and pick up the old woman, that was
until Momma took a pillow and blanket out
to the horse trailer. That stupid boy had
bought that horse trailer and never cleaned
it out. It was full of waste, which had fro-
zen solid. So much for anv of us ridin' in
there with Me-ma. All we could do was
find another rope and just tie her to one of
the sides, which is exactly what we did.
With Me-ma finally at Momma and
Daddy's, which is were we hold our tradi-
tional Christmas celebration, it was time to
open the presents. This year we'd all drawn
names, and as luck would have it, mine
went to Lulu Bell. Now I don't want y'all
to think that I don't love her or nothin',
'cause I do, but there are times that if she
wasn't dim witted I'd slap her into next
week. You can only imagine my thrill to
open my Christmas present and find out
_lawary 1.2003 * the gayfy okfahoman * 17
that she'd gotten me one of them Thigh
Masters. Now what in the heck am I gon-
na do with a dang Thigh Master? Heck,
when I did try it, I broke that spring thing
in less than three minutes. So now I got
this big blue stretched out piece of junk
settin' in my trailer, which is supposed
to help me celebrate the birth of our sav-
ior. I'm reallv tempted to just ask for food
items, which is what I gave my sister this
year for her Christmas present.
I found this place in New Orleans
that was a goin' out of business store that
carried items it'd bought from stores that
were closin'. Well, they had edible pant-
ies that were 4XL. Well, I gave those to
my 56-year-old stripper sister Donna Sue
for Christmas. Her poor boyfriend got
food poisonin'. Oh well, we got this year
to try and get it right.
Happv New Year, and may you find
2003 to be as big as my hair, as simple as
my niece, and as fun and easy as my sis-
ter on a Saturday night. God Bless.
Ruby-politan
(My sister came up with this drink for me, which
I happen to just love and am sure you 'll enjoy it
as well.)
Makes one drink
1.5 oz. Vodka (you can use plain or the citrus
kind if you like)
1 oz. Triple-Sec
1 shot Grenadine
1 oz. 7-Up
1 cherry for garnish
Place ice in glass to chill.
Pour first four ingredients in a shaker with
crushed ice and shake like a martini. Dump ice
out of glass and strain in the mixture. Add the
cherry and sip, or if you're like me. down the
son of a gun. Feel free to add more Grenadine
or 7-Up if you'd like. Always add more Vodka at
anytime if you want. -Donna Sue Boxcar Lot # 6
Jason & dGMQrCO (continued from page 12)
Christian solo artist," so in college they
were rearing me for that. I sang in the choir,
and in a small ensemble. 1 auditioned for
and got in the group Truth, which was very
big, especially in the Baptist market and
had airplay. I traveled with them and then
I finished up my senior year. I then toured
with the group, The Sound, for about a
year. We were about to be signed to a re-
cording deal and things were happening.
But then a band member found email cor-
respondence with mv boyfriend and
learned that I was gay. He then said I need-
ed to tell the band or he would. So I told
them on the bus on the way to a church.
When we got there I asked them what they
wanted me to do. They said, "We think you
should leave." So I left.
Victor: Without naming any names,
are there a lot of musicians in the Christian
rock field who are gay that you are aware
of?
Jason: Oh yes. Of course there are gay
people everywhere, but especially in the
arts, and the Christian music business is no
exception. What's sad is they feel that it's
a sin. Many genuinely love God and want
to do what's right, but a lot of them get
married and end up having affairs. The gay
lifestyle they live is not a healthy lifestyle.
They don't believe there is such a thing as
a gay healthy lifestyle. That's were I really
thank the MCC for showing me that you
can be gay, Christian, and live a life of in-
tegrity.
Victor: Do you feel that the band-mem-
ber who coerced you into coming out did
you a favor?
Jason: Oh yes.
Victor: But it must have hurt your feel-
ings at the time. How were you able to not
let this make you bitter and turn it into
something positive as well as you have?
Not everyone could do that.
Jason: I knew where they were com-
ing from. I wasn't shocked by what they
believed because I had believed it myself.
I knew it was simply their ignorance, they
didn't understand the heart of the matter,
and they just went by what they had been
taught.
Victor: On a lighter note, what musi-
cal styles influenced you when you were
growing up? Were there secular artists as
well?
Jason: I wasn't allowed to hear much
secular music. But I loved Olivia Newton-
John, and among rock music artists, Jour-
ney and Sting, and on the female vocal side,
Celine Dion and Mariah Carey.
Victor: What was the magic that
brought you and deMarco together?
deMarco: I had already been in Los
Angeles for a couple of years when Jason
moved there. We had friends in common. I
had heard about his story and how he had
turned something bad into something pos-
itive. I heard how he had been traveling
for 3 years and touching people in small
towns across the country. I thought, "What
a beautiful person. I have to meet this guy."
We just had an instant connection.
Victor: So you grew up as an Italian
Catholic in Canada.
deMarco: In Toronto. I first learned
music from the nuns who taught me in
school. As I grew older, my mom played
Italian music in our home. I loved classical
(continued on page 20)
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Boston Globe
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New York Times
’Cher delight"
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41
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Hawkins, Don. The Gayly Oklahoman (Oklahoma City, Okla.), Vol. 21, No. 1, Ed. 1 Wednesday, January 1, 2003, newspaper, January 1, 2003; Oklahoma City, Okla.. (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc825019/m1/17/: accessed July 18, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.