Perry Daily Journal (Perry, Okla.), Vol. 111, No. 244, Ed. 1 Wednesday, December 22, 2004 Page: 2 of 15
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2 Perry Daily Journal - Wednesday, December 22, 2004
ARGUS
HAMILTON
COMMENTS...
EN WATER
OVERAGE
HOLLYWOOD-God
bless America, and how’s
everybody?
Time magazine se-
lected President Bush
its Man of the Year over
Michael Moore and Mel
Gibson on Sunday. He was the compromise choice.
Movie critics consider cowboy pictures to be a happy
medium between antiwar documentaries and snuff
films.
Ricky Williams told CBS’ 60 Minutes Sunday why
he quit pro football. He wants a simple humble life,
not millions of dollars. Fidel Castro announced the
next day he’s going to buy American crops so he can
feed his people whatever Ricky’s smoking.
Barry Bonds was loudly cheered by Los Angeles
Laker fans Friday when he took his seat behind the
team bench at Staples Center. No one cares about
his taking steroids here. He came to the town that
would love his new breasts without judgment.
The New York Yankees were reported Sunday to
be trying to void Jason Giambi’s contract. He testi-
fied that he used performance-enhancing drugs. As
if George Steinbrenner doesn’t take a Viagra thirty
minutes before he returns an agent’s call.
The Aviator just opened, a film about America’s first
billionaire, Howard Hughes. The movie studio mo-
THE SPECIAL
CESSION MAY
BP OVER: BUT
WE PROBABLY
SHOULDN'T TAKE
DOWN THE
PLYWOOD
JUST YET.. /
LifeScope
BUSINESS 442=
STANDARDS
ACE RATE
UREASES
-caglecartoons.com 1
•24LDAY
by Abigail Van Buren
HOLIDAY GREETINGS TO TROOPS
EASE THEIR BURDEN OF DUTY
gul and aviation tycoon seduced every woman in „ . . 1 . ..T.
Hollywood. Howard Hughes is the correct answer to Enjoying holiday festivities. Your Lifescope says,
the question, how would men live if nothing stopped Don't forget the reason for the season!
them? Continued from yesterday. And there were
President Bush attended St. John’s Episcopal shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping
Church in Washington Sunday. They request one watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord
week’s notice that he’s coming. It gives the bulletin appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone
printer enough time to drop the queen’s name and around them, and they were terrified. But the an-
insert the president’s during the Prayers of the gel said to them, Do not be afraid. I bring you good
People. news of great joy that will be for all people Today CONFIDENTIAL TO MY READERS: Although I
The White House conceded Friday it knew nothing in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; know you’re busy beyond belief preparing for the
of Homeland Security nominee Bernard Kerik’s many Heis Christ the Lord. Let this prove it to you: You holidays, please take a minute to go to your comput-
mistresses and past mob ties. The staff can’t be will find a Baby, wrapped up and lying in a manger.' ers and send greetings to our troops. This is the lone-
blamed. When a president does not cheat on his wife, And in a flash there appeared with the angel a liest time of the year for these brave young men and
no one is assigned to read the tabloids. vast host of the armies of Heaven, praising God, say- women, many of whom are away from their families
The White House refused to cooperate on global ing. Glory to God in the highest, and on earth for the first time. Type in
warming Friday at a summit in Argentina. The Demo- peace to men on whom His favor rests.” www. OperationDearAbby.net and let them know we
crats’ emotions are mixed. On one hand they don’t , When the angels had left them and gone into care.
want the icecap to melt, on the other hand they heard heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go ***
Karl Rove admit to Larry King that he can't swim, to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 10 years. I
The Pentagon failed to launch an interceptor last which the Lord has told us about. have always had fantasies about exposing my wife
week in an anti-missile test a week before Christ- So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, naked to other men. “Hazel” is a deep sleeper, and in
mas. It was Karl Rove’s idea. The thinking is, if the and the Baby, Who was lying in the manger. When college, I exposed her countless times for my room-
White House can bring down Santa Claus they will they had seen Him, they spread the word concern- mates to see. (I pretended to be asleep.) From the
have the Democrats by their patron saint, ing what had been told them about this Child, and time we were married, I took pictures of her while
Don Rumsfeld was found Sunday to have used a all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds she slept, including many extremely graphic close-
stamped signature on letters of condolence to fami- said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things ups. I posted a good number of them (including the
lies of U.S. soldiers. Talk show hosts and pundits and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds re- close-ups) on Internet porn sites, making no attempt
spent Monday tearing him to shreds. It was the first turned, glorifying and praising God for all the things to blur her face, which would have ruined it for me.
peaceful day Kobe Bryant's had in two years. they had heard and seen, which were just as they The thought of countless men seeing her excited me.
Inauguration Day plans were announced Sunday had been told.I looked forward to reading the comments about her
which include nine presidential balls with very tight . On the eighth day, w hen it was time to circum- pictures. I saved each porn site photo spread of her
security. Every woman walking into the ballrooms cise.Him, He was named Jesus, the name the an- into a file on my computer and viewed them often
could be subjected to a humiliating patdown from a gel had given Him before He had been conceived Well, my wife found the file. We are now in mar.
stranger. The theme is An Evening in Roma. When the time of their purification according to the riage counseling, but I still have the fantasies. I know
Vladimir Putin inched toward a showdown with the Law of Moses had been completed, Joseph and Mary what I did was wrong, but I did it anyway. I don’t
U.S. over Ukraine’s election Sunday. It pits the just- took Him to Jerusalem to present Him to the Lord want to jose my wife. Please help. — ASHAMED IN
poisoned Viktor Yushchenko against Russia’s candi- (as it is written in the Law of the Lord, Every first- VIRGINIA
date. One look at Viktor Yushchenko and you realize born male is to be consecrated to the Lord ), and DEAR ASHAMED: You need more help than I can
it’s too late for a face-saving compromise. to offer a sacrifice in keeping with what is said in the give you in a letter, you violated your wife’s trust
Arnold Schwarzenegger flew to Berlin Sunday for Law of the Lord: a pair of doves or two young pi- treated her like an object, and while I applaud the
Christmas in Germany It was great to be home. He in Jerusalem there was at this time a fact that you are getting marriage counseling, coun-
was so well-received at the Republican Convention etowiin Jerusalem there was at this time a man seling of a different sort is also in order Please ask
that during the standing ovation for him, Israel’s by the name of Simeon. He was an upright man, de- your doctor for a referral to a psychiatrist ASAP and
immigration website received two million hits, voted to the service of God, living in expectation of pray your wife can forgive you
©Copyright 2004 Argus Hamilton. All Rights Reserved. the Restoration of Israel. To be continued... Pray your can forgive you.
Perry Daily
Journal
News of Noble County since 1893
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TER Please send address changes
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* ENTIRE CONTENTS COPYRIGHT 2004
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Scott Barber
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Mickey Anson
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Today’sHistory
DEAR ABBY: My co-worker has planned his own
retirement dinner party at $45 a head, including tax
and gratuity. That might not be much to managers
and supervisors who receive large salaries, but for
those of us who don’t, that’s a lot of money. What’s
ironic is he has let us know he expects an additional
$10 from each of us for a gift.
By the Associated Press on an American Airlines flight from A luncheon date with 90 percent of the staff had
Paris to Miami, tried to ignite explo- already been confirmed. However, yesterday a flier
Today is Wednesday, Dec. 22, the sives in his shoes, but was subdued by was distributed announcing a dinner on the same date
357th day of 2004. There are nine days flight attendants and fellow passengers, the luncheon was scheduled. Our lunch date was can-
left in the year. • . Ten years ago: North Korea handed celed without consulting us. I suspect it was a ma-
Today's Highlight in History: over the body of American pilot David neuver to force us to attend the dinner party.
vOn Dec. 22, 1944, during the World Hilemon, killed when his helicopter was We asked him to reschedule the lunch, told him
War I Battle of the Bulge, U.S. Brig, shot down over the communist country the dinner party was too expensive, and asked if he
Gen: Anthony,C. McAuliffe reportedly three days earlier. House Democrats would make the $10 gift optional. Are we unreason-
replied Nuts, when the Germans de- chastised Speaker-to-be Newt Gingrich able, or is he? — WONDERING IN SAN FRANCISCO
manded that fh6 Americans surrender, for accepting a $4.5 million book advance DEAR WONDERING- Wonder no more H. :
Criths: d E enitinental naval neet was "FT Sul Megde ptemacn: &
organized in the rebellious American urged Americans not to panic despite but ding more than you can afford on this anything
colonies. .enhanced security measures prompted shy and retiring co-worker.
. In 1807, Congress passed the Embargo by fears of terrorism. An Algerian ac- DEAR ARRV T . .
Act, designed to force peace between cused of trying to smuggle nitroglycerin DEALABBI: How do I tell my boss that her inces-
Britain and France by cutting off all and other bomb-making materials into sant talking keeps me from getting my job done? I
trade with Europe. the United States from Canada pleaded am currently a week behind because I was out sick
In 1864, during the Civil War, Union innocent in Seattle to all five counts of for several days last week, and my boss won’t stop
Gen. William T. Sherman sent a message a federal indictment. (Ahmed Ressam talking and let me catch up.
to President Lincoln: “I beg to present was convicted in April 2001 of terrorist She isn't married and doesn’t have many friends,
you as a Christmas gift the city of Sa- conspiracy and eight other charges.) so I know her need for friendship carries over to work
vannah. nTwo astronauts from the shuttle Discov- — but it’s starting to make me very stressed. Then
In 1894, r rench army officer Alfred ery went on a spacewalk to replace bro- again, she’s my boss. How do I deal with this? __
Dreyfus was convicted of treason in a ken instruments in the Hubble Space FALLING BEHIND IN ALABAMA
=====------- ------====-= ===============
In 1941, British Prime Minister Win- ing two people. A federal judge ruled your work, so tell her — especially if you are doing
ston Churchill arrived in Washington the Pentagon couldn’t enforce-manda something that might be time-sensitive. Explain that
for a wartime conference with President tory anthrax vaccinations for military you are conscientious and don t want to let her down
Roosevelt. . personnel. Colombian rebels freed four and a she wants to talk, suggest you do it over
In 1963, an official 30-day mourning Israelis and a Briton held hostage for lunch. Then cross your fingers and hope she takes
period following the assassination of 101 days. you up on it.
President Kennedy came to an end. Todays Birthdays Lady Bird ***
In 1984 New York City resident Johnson is 92. Actor Hector Elizondo is Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also
Bernhard Goetz shot four youths on a 68. Country singer Red Steagall is 66. known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded bv her
Manhattan subway, claiming they were Baseball Hall-of-Famer Steve Carlton is mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at
about to rob him. • n . 60. ABC News correspondent Diane www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440 Los Angeles
In 1989, Romanian President Nicolae Sawyer is 59. Rock singer-musician Rick CA 90069 ‘Los Angeles,
Ceausescu, the last of Eastern Europe’s Nielsen (Cheap Trick)is 58. Actor Ralph
hard-line Communist rulers, was Fiennes is 42. Actress Lauralee Bell is Good advice for everyone tome .
toppled from power in a popular upris- n.dectreD Dine Mey go 15.36. AchieE inne Anger in All oPUWand MOW ES DEON WithTC
In 1991, the body of Lt. Col. William Carmack (“The O.C.”) is 24. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed enve-
R. Higgins, an American hostage mur- Thought for Today: “Anger makes lope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds
dered by his captors was found dumped dull men witty, but it keeps them poor ” only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447,
along a highway in Lebanon. _ Attributed to Queen Elizabeth I of En- Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
In 2001, Richard C. Reid, a passenger gland (1533-1603). * COPYRIGHT 2004 UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE
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Brown, Gloria. Perry Daily Journal (Perry, Okla.), Vol. 111, No. 244, Ed. 1 Wednesday, December 22, 2004, newspaper, December 22, 2004; Perry, Oklahoma. (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc2260087/m1/2/: accessed July 17, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.