The Edmond Enterprise (Edmond, Okla.), Vol. 12, No. 13, Ed. 1 Thursday, May 9, 1912 Page: 4 of 6
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(DSSDLP
them is to put ono in an Oriental wa-
"Take the Elevator"
Not Seen in Congressional Record Sea of Soda Like a MilTCr
MR ifMKEK
UM - I AM
TH' 5E«~
MR.5PEAK
-sM you
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iS MR J>PF J
WASHINGTON—In a way a very
ludicrous thing happened In ono
of the committee moms recently when
the official reporter declared that the
documents submitted In a certain cane
were fabricated, because they reud
•too smoothly" and that men did not
talk that way. The stenographer lost
his job, but the fact remains that
members of congress and United
States senators are absolutely depend-
ent upon the official stenographers for
decent records of the scattering and
often Incoherent and original speeches
Which they make In congress. It Is
positively funny to listen to some
of the speeches, and then read the
same speech as It Is ironed out for
print In the Congressional Record.
A representative, for Instance, gets
up and says: "Mr. Speaker—Mr.
Speaker—am I recognized. Mr.—ur—
Speaker—ur—ur—Speaker? I—ur—
have—ur—ah been ah—ur—listening
—ur with a good deal of Interest, sir
—I mean Mr.—ur—Speaker, to the—
ur—remarks, sir—I mean—ur, Mr.
Speaker—ur — Mr. Speaker — from
Wayback, and—ur—I want to say,
Mr. Speaker—ur—ah—uh, that, Mr.
Speaker—ur, representing the consti-
tuents of a—ur—a—ur great congres-
sional district of more than 200,000
members, sir, I mean—ur, Mr. Speak-
er, i cannot afford—ur to sit here and
hear these constituent^ sir—ur in-
sulted, sir, by remarks, sir, I mean,
Mr. Speaker, of the gentlemen from
Wayback, and —ur I stand hore, sir,
In the presence of the great American
—ur—ur people to defend, yes, Bir,
to defend the bringing, Bir, upon rny
constituents, Bir, that Is—ur satisfac-
tory—ur to all when I was elected—
ur to this honornble body, sir. Hut,
sir—I mean, Mr. Speaker." And
about this time the gavel of the
speaker comes down with a bang that
rattles the medallions In the glass
celling, and he says Just as easy: "Tho
time of the gentleman from has
expired," and his oratory Is cut
short. Now, you don't suppose for
once that that sort of stuff is going
to appear In the Congressional Rec-
ord. No, Indeed. Tho official stenog-
rapher has taken down every "uh
and ah," and goes to tho little desk
nt the end of his five minutes' stands,
nnd talks it Into the dictograph Just
as smooth and pretty as anything you
ever read In your life, and it comes
out Just as though Mr. Representative
was an orator of the flrst class, and
he sends it back to his constituents,
and they think he's wonderful to
speak right on the floor of congress
In that wonderful way.
It is the general belief among news-
paper readers that It is the so-called
"Backwoods" statesmen, who are tho
guilty ones In this respect, but the of-
ficial stenographers say that ths re-
marks of somo of the members known
throughout the land ns brilliant ora-
tors, would at times look something
like the foregoing.
Stakes Sandwich on Seat in Congress
UNIQUE among the candidates who
ran the other day in the Pennsyl-
vania primaries is Dr. Moses Stern
of Philadelphia, candidato for the
Democratic nomination for congress
in the Third district Dr. Stearn filed
wltb South Trimble, clerk of the
house of representatives, a sworn
statement that his expenses in the
primaries amounted to 26 cents.
When he read the morning papers
Dr. Stearn probably learned whether
the bread which he cast upon the wa-
ters was returned unto him many
fold. He frankly confessed that he
wanted to get on tho public pay roll
with a warm seat in congress before
the country went bankrupt.
He was a bit worried lest a part of
his expenditure may not have been
regular. He insisted that ho has
bribed no one, but admitted that he
did purchase a small chicken sandwich
"for a colored gentlemnn." The rest
of the 25 cents was spent for ten two-
cent stamps, which were used to mall
his nomination papers to the proper
authorities.
Dr. Stearn gave tho house much in-
formation about himself and his ambi-
tions, as well as hio campaign, in tho
statement which he made to the clerk.
Here are some choice extracts from his
Statement
"I hope you have no complaint
_ f/jUST WtviOfR
if m
EArtnSES
ake regular
about my extravngant expense ac-
count?
"I had no kind friend to lend me
$10,000 cash to help me push my
campaign for congress.
"I am satisfied nearly all of my con-
stituents are the salt of tho earth.
"My friends put my hat In the ring,
and they say it is constitutional.
"As a candidate I have been Implor-
ing voters to nid me to get on the
public pay roll In Washington nnd get
nice nnd warm in my seat in con-
gress before the United States treas-
ury becomes bankrupt and pawns our
berutlful building, our national cap-
ito.\ to my Uncle Rothschild.
"It has been my soaring ambition
all this summer to be on a street
corner speaking on a soap box and
face a bitter contest of mollycoddlers
In my Third congressional district un-
til the polls close Tuesday, November
6, 1912.
"I have not bribed any voter, but
did buy a small chicken sandwich for
a colored gentleman."
His Bride's Name Slipped from Mind
a
/LieErtSE TO
CET flAKfflfD
'ER HA Mi
15 VERA
-U H- U H
m
VERA
WHEN George H. Covert, a sales-
man, living at tho Y. M. C. A.,
walked into the marriage license bu-
reau in City Hall the other day to
apply for the necessary pai>er which
would enable him to become the hus-
band of Miss Vera lone Murray, a
Washington girl, Covert was nervous
—naturally. But his plunge into the
matrimonial sea, clerks of experlenco
say, affected him In a most unusual
way. He forgot the name of his bride-
to-be.
Covert approached Clerk Kroll
shortly after three o'clock in the aft-
ernoon and applied for a marriage li-
cense. The clerk obligingly issued it,
and asked no questions. Names are
never questioned in the bureau, and,
anyway, a young man about to take
unto himself a wife Is supposed to be
thoroughly familiar with said wife's
name and address.
However, Covert Informed Kroll
that his bride-to-be was Miss Vera
lone. The license was Issued to
George H. Covert nnd Miss Vera lone,
and the minister delegated to tie the
knot was the Rev. Charles Wood. Not
until the bridal pair reached the par-
sonage did they discover the grave
error made by Covert, and a hurried
trip was made to the home of Col.
John E. Young, clerk of the court,
who rectified the error, nnd promised
to mnke the necessary change In the
official record book as soon as he
reached his office next morning.
The knot was tied Immediately, and
Covert attributes the mistake to the
fact that he was nervous—this being
his flrst venture. He has been exon-
erated by Mrs. Covert, nee Vera lone
Murray.
Sad Predicament of Two Politicians
WHILE Colonel Walter Watkins of
Tennessee was In Washington re-
cently he told about the Bad predica-
ment two citizens of his state got into
talking politics while traveling east
some years ago on a Pullman t ar. It
was a hot night and sleep was impos-
sible. They were in the smoking
room, and fell to talking about state
affairs. While thus engaged an old
grizzled, gaunt man came in, clad as
befitted a torrid night, and began
smoking. Tho two politicians kept up
their talk and were regretting how
poorly their state was represented at
Washington. They were somewhat
sarcastic in referring to the senato-
rial delegation and declared that
younger and more vigorous men were
needed.
"Looking at our senators," was re-
marked. "They are played out. Bate
is old and Harris Is dried up and uso-
1ms."
Just then the old stranger in the
; \£s| YOU KNOW I
about
POLITICS
ARE YOU
;.-r> «£
ter pipe, while five or six will each
take a tube and smoke It. This ttvo-
dollar brand is known to the trade aa |
promentles." It is about sixteen
inches long nnd looks more Uke a yel-
low Roman candle than a cigar.
* * *
By LAWRENCE ALFRED CLAY
(Copyright, lots, by Associated Literary Press.)
At Magadl, In the East African protectorate, is a wonderful deposit of
soda, a great commercial asset which will materially advance the prosperity
of the British colony. Magadi is situated between the monster extinct vol-
cano Kilimanjaro and the escarpment which forms the boundary of the main
plateau. The lake is like a mirror and the great stretch of alkali beds glistens
like an ice-bound loch of the northern regions.
QUEER CAS-CHROM OF SKYE
I to the location being the proper one,
although at one time no less than six
towns near Boston and one lu Maine
j J were claiming the honor of having pos-
sessed the original Baldwin tree As
it is, the surviving members or the
Butters family believe they should not
be Ignored, as It was a Butters who
llrst domesticated this variety, and the
Thompsons naturally think that the
apple should really bear their name,
ns a Thompson was flrst to start it on
it8 road to fame.
The whole question as to the origin
of the apple had become Buch an In-
volved one that the state legislature
took a hand in the fifties and appoint-
ed a committee to Investigate the mat-
ter. This committee determined what
It believed to be the exact location of
the original tree on the Butters farm
and marked it on the state map of
Wilmington.
Peat cutting for fuel is In the spring
the staple industry of the natives In
many parts of the Highlands, and in
Skye the ancient form of cas-chrotn or
Bpade is still In use. This Implement
Beems like a clumsy Invention but It Is
admirably adapted for the condition In
which It Is employed. The long handle
affords a powerful lever to dislodge
the frequent large stones and the sods
are cut with surprising speed.
DEATH HARVEST OF JUNGLE
Deaths from attneks by wild ani-
mals In India are Increasing In num-
ber. Rising waters have driven ser-
pents from the lowland Jungles up to
the villages, and have diminished
through drowning the natural food
supply of tho larger wild beasts. Over
2,000 persons were killed In 1910 by
elephants, tigers, hyenas, bears, leo-
pards, wolves, wild pigs nnd other
animals. Over 22,000 were killed by
snakes. Tho grand total or mortality
wn« nearly 24,000 persons. At the
same time 93,000 cattle were killed by
snakes and wild boasts. The inhabi-
tants of the Jungle also suffered by re-
prisals on the part of their human ene-
mies Ninety-one thousand snakes
and 19,000 wild beasts were killed.
ZEBRA-DONKEY A SUCCESS
The creation of a now type Is al-
ways interesting, the effort of the gov-
ernment to breed a zebra-donkey, or
a zebra-horse is particularly so since
t .ey already appear measurably suc-
cessful. The animal breeders of the
department of agriculture were im-
pressed some years ago with the
splendid conformation, large size and
great beauty of the big Grevy zebra
which was presented to President
itoosevelt by King Meneilk of Abys-
sinia. and which found a borne at the
Natlonnl Zoological park at Washing-
ton. Tho zebra was bred to donkeys
and the resulting hybrids are appar-
ently great successes, a half dozon
colts and llllles now poking their
noses over the fences at visitors to
tho zoo. So Tar as markings are con-
cerned they show somewhat faint re-
productions of tho strongly marked
black and white stripes of the zebra
stallion, but their parentage Is evident.
They are. however, ns hardy, appar-
ently, and endure the climate of
Washington as well as the donkeys.
The striking feature of the cross-
breeding Is that the hybrids show a
decided Improvement in other respects
over both parents in action, conforma-
tion and disposition. The Grevy stal-
lion weighs 800 pounds and Is 13Vfr
Lands high, and while he Is a beauty,
he is not particularly affectionate; on
the contrary he Is vicious. The aver-
age weight of the donkey dams Is 560,
twelve hands high. The weight of the
hybrids when #nly a year old was 600
and they stood twelve hands high.
They have good action, a neat, clean-
cut appearance, and are as gentle as
horses' foals of the sam. age.
The hybrids ought to bo tough, for
the zebra In Alrica is about the tough-
est thing In the horse line in the
world, and he apparently loses none
of these qualities by change of resi-
dence. The hybrids, then, should de-
velop Into animals with much greater
endurance than the mule, and should
be almost as large.
The zebra in Africa is Immune to
many diseases and pests which kill off
horses and mules, and it Is expected
that the new hybrids will prove them-
selves more hardy and disease resist-
ant than even the famous Missouri
army mule.
"Old Mason's kid."
"Good looker."
"Lots of class there."
"She's good to marry a million."
Such were some of the observations
as Miss Myrtle Mason descended from
her auto In front of a particular num-
ber on a downtown street.
Every one knew Old Mason, as he
was called. He was a money-lender
and note-shaver. He owned the
building in which he had his office,
any every year he swore off a good
share of his taxes and lost three or
four tenants because he would not
make improvements. Just at this
date one of the two elevators was
"dead." It had needed repairs for
ten yeais and had Anally stopped in
disgust. The other was about ready
to strike, but was still in use and
boro the sign: "Take This Elevator."
Just a moment previous to the en-
trance of Miss Myrtle the elevator
had been taken by a young man
named Homer Lincoln. He was an
architect Just starting out for himself,
and he had business on the third
floor. The elevator was there, all
right, but the elevator boy wasn't.
He had stepped Into the cage and
waited. He heard the rustle of skirts,
caught sight of a big white hat and
waving plumes and was then face to
face with what his architectural In-
stincts told him was a good-looking
girl of about twenty. Like the gen-
tleman he was. he crowded back and
gave her room and removed his hat.
Where, oh, where was that boy?
The time one has to wait in an
elevator seems three times as long as
waiting at a soda fountain outside.
Miss Myrtle moved about uneasily.
Mr. Lincoln coughed nervously. An
DEVIL'S ORGANS OF ICE
GLASS EGG DIET KILLS DOG
Jackson Axby of Lawrenceburg, Ind.,
was firm In the belief that his thor-
oughbred English bloodhound had been
poisoned. Veterinarians confirmed his
suspicions. After the hound died Its
body was cut open and four nest eggs
of the glass variety were found In the
stomach. Axby had put the eggs in
nests to encourage his hens to lay. He
noticed recently the supply of eggs
had fallen off, although the hens ap-
peared to be in laying condition. It
is believed the dog had been sucking
the eggs, and falling with the glass
variety, swallowed them
FIVE DOLLAR CIGARS
It was not bo long ago that dollar
cigars were a luxury. Now the demand
for cigars selling at live dollars each
Is so great that Havana manufactur-
ers cannot till It. Most of this demand
is to supply banquets of the ultra-
rich. A considerable part of it is from
Heidelberg university, Germany,
where the students never seem to get
enough to satisfy their appetite A
\{i • \\- j
zatr
take tm/s
ELEVATOR
In the valley of the Great St Ber-
nard, In Switzerland, are a number of
formations of Ice known there as
"Devil's Organs." They get their name
from the weird whistles the wind
causes them to utter. The Icicles are
often 100 to 150 feet long.
WONDERFUL FUR COATS
Lady Ashburton, the former New
York beauty, caused 5,000 moles to
be trapped on her English estate and
their skins made into coats and muffs
for her three American Bisters. The
coats contain 800 skins each and the
muffs each between 80 and 90 akins.
CATHEDRALS IN AFRICA
corner arose and with gestures of a
prize-fighter began to abuse and
Bcarify the two talkers, who gaped In
wonderment. When the Irate old man
subsided the politicians exclaimed:
"Who are you to be so upset about
our conservation?"
"I am Senator Harris," said the
stranger In tones that could be heard
above the rumbling of the train, "and
I have a mind to throw both of you
out of the window."
They had not recognized the sen-
ator in his pajamas In the semi-dark-
ness.
MEMORIAL TO APPLE TREE
Probably the Baldwin apple Is the
best known variety In existence. For
over a century it has been widely
eaten and In spite or the fact that
scoros of other sorts have come into
the market to dispute Its popularity,
it is still the favorite among a great
many growers and consumers.
There has long been a dispute about
the discovery of the original tree and
the controversy has not yet been set-
tled to the satisfaction of all con-
cerned. The fact seems to be, how-
ever, that a certain Williams Butters,
living in the town ot Wilmington,
Mass., about fourteen miles north of
Boston, found a prolific tree growing
in the woods and transplanted it to
his farm. That was long before the
Revolutionary war. Years afterward
Samuel Thompson, a revolutionary
veteran, came across the tree while on
a surveying expedition. At that time
it had been made the home of a family
of woodpeckers and the birds had
pecked a row of holes around it. For
taat reason Colonel Thompson often
referred to It as the pecker tree He
carried some of the truit home, and
the members of his family were so
pleased with the apples that ho visited
the tree again and cut a number of
scions, which were grafted onto trees
in his orchard. When these trees be-
gan to bear fruit, some ot the apples
were given to Col. Loamml Baldwin, a
neighbor, who was so much impressed
with the quality and flavor that he cut
many scions from the old tree and be-
gan propagating new stock on a large
scale. This stock was spread broad-
cast In Massachusetts, and ns a com-
pliment to Colonel Baldwin his friends
gave his name to this apple.
Tho Butters farm house still stands
and a depression in the ground not far
away Is pointed out as the place where
the father of all Baldwin apple trees
formerly stood, the original tree Itself
having been blown down in a terrific
gale early In the last century.
In 1895 the Rumford Historical as-
sociation erected a monument to mark
the site of the old tree. The square
granite shaft is surmounted by a great
stone apple to represent a perfect spe-
cimen of the Baldwin variety. The
date of the discovery of the "pecker"
tree Is given on the monument as The Chinese Amazon Corps, styled In their Chinese name 'The Heroines
1793, but there Is considerable doubt of the Red Powder," took an active part In the revolution which has resulted
ss to the correctness of this date. |.i the establishment of the republic. These Amazons are ladies, mostly 6tu
There 18 little question, however, as dents, of good family.
Christianity Is slowly spreaalng over
Africa. There are 15 Episcopal cathe-
drals and 12 Roman Catholic on the
dark continent in addition to numer-
favorite method they have of smoking J ous churches of all denominations.
Amazon Corps of Ch. ia
She Looked Up at the Placard.
elevator boy cannot be brought back
to his duties in any such way as
that. More heroic measures are nec-
essary. When two minutes had
passed the girl stepped out and
looked up at the placard. Perhaps
she had read it too hastily. Per-
haps It advised the public to walk
upstairs or down cellar.
No! That placard distinctly read:
"Take This Elevator!" Not the other
elevator, but this one. The letters
were black on a white ground, and
even a cross-eyed man couldn't have
confounded them with somebody's
cough syrup or a "Why Pay Rent?"
sign.
Five minutes and no boy!
Mr. Lincoln would have faced
Jeffries In his best days, but he re-
coiled from this situation. He had
but to step past the girl with a "beg
pardon," but he hadn't the moral
courage to do It. It was she who
splved the problem. As many as ten
times in her life she 1 ad seen
elevator boys manipulate the cable,
and, tired of waiting, she suddenly
seized it and gave a hoist. Mr. Lin-
coln opened his mouth to protest, but
he was too late. The weary cage
uttered a sigh and a groan and then
made a leap for the roof. It was
tired of being classed as a slow coach.
When the roof was reached the
cage struck and started for the cellar
It bumped down there and started up
again, but stopped between floors
and gave a wabble and a lurch and
settled down to rest.
The flrst bump lmd thrown the two
occupants to the floor. The second
tossed them about and the stoppage
put the finishing edge to their scare.
Mr. Lincoln used exclamations that
children should not see In print, and
Miss Mason uttered screams that
aroused the building and brought the
elevator boy from the curb market
on the run. In three minutes it was
known that the elevator was stuck
between floors. In two more it was
known that It held two passengers
and that one of them was Old Mason's
daughter. He went off the handle
at once.
"Are you there. Myrtle?" he bel-
lowed as he trotted around.
"Yes. father," was the dazed reply.
"Who is with you?"
"A—a young man."
"My heavens! I see the whole
: 'ot! Say. young man. whoever you
ai<\ you cannot escape! We have
yo surrounded and I have Just sent
for the police. If you rob my daugh-
ter you cannot make off with the
plunder."
"Are you talking to me, sir?" called
the indignant architect.
"1 am. You are good for a term iu
prison. Myrtle, dear, don't be afraid.
If 1 can borrow a gun anywhere 1
think I can find a hole and train it oa
him. Is he a ruffian?"
"He—he looks like one!"
"Why don't you tell your father
that you followed me in here utid
then fooled with the cable and started
the car?" asked the young man
"Father's, he'B talking to me!" half
screamed Miss Myrtle.
"8top it. young man—stop it! I
forbid you to address my daughter!
Oh, why don't the police come!"
Give the police time and they will
get there. On this occasion they were
not over twenty minutes behind tlie
time table.
"Elevator stuck," explained Old
Mason, "and my daughter Is in it
with a robber and a ruffian. Get her
out and arrest the man."
"You'll have to get firemen for that
Job," was replied. "The man rriy be
a ruffian, but how do you know It?"
"I heard him curse when we
bumped the roof!" called the girl,
"and now he's glaring at me!"
"All right. A cop shall be left hero
to take care of him."
It was three long hours before that
elevator consented to climb up a few
feet and give a hysterical girl and a
very Indignant architect their free-
dom. During most of this time Old
Mason was calling the young man a
thief and blackleg, but at tho same
time bidding the girl not to fear him.
Mr. Holmes was led away a pris-
oner, but was not detained long. The
tenant he was on his way to consult
vouched for him, and the girl had to
admit the facts as they have been
recorded above. Therefore, the
father did not follow after and said
he regarded the incident as closed,
and two days later Miss Myrtle was
sent, to the country on a visit.
Mr. Lincoln didn't regard the inci-
dent lhat way, howeveh He had been
called a bad man and given the collar
by the police. Two days later he be-
gan suit for $50,000 damages, and also
started for the country. He had been
commissioned to design a villa. Who
can doubt that Fate sent him into
that elevator? Again, It is plain
as day that Fate sent him next door
to where Miss Myrtle Mason, visiting
her schoolgirl friend, was paying a
visit. When they met, which they
were bound to do sooner or later,
they did not recognize each other.
There was no screaming on the part
of the girl, and the personal looks
of the architect did not cause her to
regard him as a bad man.
If two young ladies are wandering
around the fields in the country—
swinging In hammocks—culling flow-
ers—paddling in brooks and having
a lovely time generally—and if an
architect is looking for the best site
to erect a villa to harmonize with
the surrounding landscape and has
romantic ideas, it isn't much of a
task for Fate to bring about a meet-
ing, an introduction and all that. It
couldn't be called love at first sight,
because there was the elevator epi-
sode, but meetings in the gloom
shouldn't be allowed to count.
The architect hung around for a
week longer than he had first planned
for. and during the next four weeks
he made opportunities to run down to
"Ravenswood" every three or four
days, and it was only when he casu-
ally mentioned that he must be in
the city at a certain date to attend
a lawsuit that Miss Myrtle said:
"Why, I must be there, too."
"My suit is against a rich man."
"My father has been sued because
I got stuck in an elevator with a
bad man."
"I am that bad man!"
"You can't be. He glared at me.
He muttered. He sashed father. The
police said he was a tough one, whilo
you—you—"
It took a whole year for Mr. Mason
to make up his mind about it, but he
did at last, and the $50,000 lawsuit
was dropped for a marriage cere-
mony. He saved his money and
gained a son-in-law. and has been
heard to brag about it as a good
deal.
Half and Half.
Ralph A. Cameron, who was defeat-
ed for election to the United States
senate from Arizona not long ago.
once had an office boy whose duty It
was every morning to fill with fresh
•water a big cooler in the ante-room.
Cameron was very particular that this
water should be fresh every day. One
morning he took a drink from the
cooler and then glared at the office
boy.
"Willie," he demanded sternly, "Is
this water fresh?"
"Yes, sir." answered the boy with-
out meeting Cameron's glance.
"Willie." insisted the boss, "are you
sure this water is fresh?"
"Well, sir." qualified Willie, "part
of it is."—Popular Magazine.
Confusion of Claims.
It would never do for women to go
to Congress."
Why not? They would take the
demands of the home into the coun-
cils of the nation."
'That's Just it. Every woman
would want to be speaker of the
House."
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Hazlitt, Harry. The Edmond Enterprise (Edmond, Okla.), Vol. 12, No. 13, Ed. 1 Thursday, May 9, 1912, newspaper, May 9, 1912; Edmond, Oklahoma. (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc140918/m1/4/: accessed July 17, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.