The Canadian Valley News. (Jones City, Okla.), Vol. 9, No. 9, Ed. 1 Friday, July 16, 1909 Page: 3 of 4
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The Methods of Josephine
By Ella Middleton Tybout
(Copyright, by J. B. IJppincolt Co.)
I think I can truthfully say that the
first time Josephine awakened any
real Interest in my heart wan when I
discovered she was in love.
One afternoon she returned with the
usual bunch of violets and a most un-
usual expression. The instant I saw
her I knew a crisis was at hand, and
rose to the occasion as a cork rises
to the surface of the water—lightly,
buoyantly, yet determinedly.
Josephine went at once to her room
and closed the door with decision. I
hovered on the stairway, palpitating
with uncertainty, and the affectionate
solicitude which 1b so far removed
from mere vulgar eurioBity. Finally,
mustering all uiy resolution, I turned
the knob of the door and entered with
quite a jaunty air, carelessly hum-
ming a tune.
Josephine lay face downward on the
bed, the violets crushed and broken,
and the heels of her patent leather
shoes sticking pathetically outward.
A choking, gasping sound revealed
that she was crying into the counter-
pane. Gently murmuring an endear-
ing epithet, I laid my hand upon her
head.
“Oh, Aunt Gertrude!” sobbed Jose-
phine, “Aunt Gertrude!"
"Poor child,” I returned, responsive-
ly, “I understand—I understand.”
"0, no, you don't,” she interrupted,
ungratefully. ‘‘You—you can’t.”
“Josephine,” 1 said, kindly but firm-
ly, “you are engaged to be married—
and to a man.”
It was evident she was astonished
at my perspicuity, for she raised her
head as though listening and nodded
assent.
"Furthermore,” I continued, follow-
-You Go and Explain Things.”
ing up my advantage and speaking
with conviction, “you are unhappy.”
Down went her head again, and the
sniffling Into the counterpane recom-
menced.
“Dear,” I whispered with unalloyed
sweetness, "Is he worthy of these
tears ?”
No reply.
“Do you love him,” I continued,
“ deeply, truly, everlastingly?”
Josephine sat upright and pushed
the hair out of her eyes.
"Oh, Aunt Gertrude,” she gasped,
“It Isn't him—it's them.”
"Them?" I hazarded, faintly.
“Yes,” said my niece with the calm-
ness of despair, “that's the trouble.
I’m engaged all right—but there's two
of him.”.
“Tell me about it,” I suggested,
chiefly because I felt something was
expected of me.
“Yes," she agreed quickly, “I might
just as well. I've got to tell some-
body.”
“I ignored the last clause and com-
posed myself to listen. Her story was
briefly thus:
Being unable to withstand the fas-
cination to two callow youths, and
finding it impossible to preserve the
peace between them, Josephine had
formulated the scheme of taking them
on alternate days, like two varieties
of pills, as it were. She remarked
casually that she had stopped their
visits to the house, as she disliked to
see them glare at each other, and,
moreover, her evenings were thus left
free for others. She did not explain
this, however, but Insinuated parental
opposition and daily persecution of
herself, borne with angelic sweetness.
Gently, but decidedly, I laid the
facts of the case before my niece. I
told her that, ns she could marry but
one man, it was manifestly improper
to be engaged to two.
“You must now,” I continued—ig-
noring her remark, because 1 could
not help comprehending that such a
situation might be agreeable, albeit
sinful—“you must now, dear child,
make your selection. Which of your
suitors do you love the better?”
"Yes,” said Josephine miserably,
“it’s up to me to choose, and I've
done it.”
"Let your heart guide you," I ad-
vised gently.
“That's just what I tried to do,” re-
turned Josephine, confusedly, "but the
old thing wouldn’t work. So I toBsed
up a penny—heads for Ned and tails
for Harry. It came down tails."
"And," she continued, quietly, "I'm
going to elope with him tonight."
“To-night!” 1 ejaculated, aghast.
“Yes, to-night. And, oh, Aunt Ger-
trude, I don’t want to one bit. It's
not Harry, after all—it's Ned. Just
r<; soon as the penny raine down tails
fp l knew it was Ned I wanted, bet 1
was afraid to toss again, because then
if I got Ned I might want Harry—
don't you see?"
I did not see. in fact, such vacilla-
tion was quite incomprehensible to
my well-balanced mind, but I was
obliged to devote my energies to
soothing Josephine, who again turned
her face to the counterpane and wept
copiously.
“And he's waiting on the corner by
Trinity church,” she sobbed; “he said
he’d wait till I came. And it’s rain-
ing. And he has a cold. And I sim-
ply can t go marry him. And he's
bought the ring. And I think Harry's
such a hideous name. And he’ll wait
till 1 come, and—and-”
Josephine suddenly sat upright and
grasped my hand.
"You go," she said, “you go, and
explain things.”
i It is needless to recount the argu-
ment that followed. Enough to say
that I finally agreed to go and tell
the man watting to marry my niece
that, after all, she preferred some one
else.
Josephine produced a long, light
cloak and wrapped me in it; she also
adorned me with a large hat loaded
with plumes, because, she explained.
Harry would be looking for just that
costume. Over the hat and face she
tied a thick veil, remarking that no
one could possibly tell who was in-
side it, and perhaps Harry would
marry me in spite of myself, as he
was very impatient. Then she gig-
gled hysterically.
Secure in the consciousness of my
rectitude, I compressed my lips and
drew on my rubbers.
It was not a pleasant evening. A
fine, sleety rain fell steadily, turning
the pavements into shining sheets of
glass, over which I shuffled carefully.
Trinity ohurch is situated on a side
Btreet entirely off the main thorough-
fare, where it is very quiet and se-
cluded. 1 paused as I reached the
corner and laid my hand on my bosom,
a little to the left of the breast bone,
as described in physiologes when lo-
cating the heart. Its throbbing was
very evident.
Summoning all my fortitude, I
looked in the direction of the church.
There, beside the lamppost, stood a
manly form, and drawn conveniently
close to the curbing was a herdic cab.
Suddenly an arm appeared about my
waist, a face was pressed close to
mine, and I distinctly felt the pricking
of a mustache. I blushed beneath
the veil and was glad the street hap-
pened to be dark and quiet.
I found myself gently but forcibly
propelled towards thq cab, the door
of which stood invitingly open. Twice
I strove to articulate, but both limes
my voice failed me.
"I'm going on the box with the
cabby,” he continued, cheerfully, “to
make sure ho gets the right place. It
won't do to have any mistake, you
know. Now, then, in you go.”
And I found myself picked up bodily
and deposited in the cab. The door
slammed and we were off.
I was eloping.
My first impulse was to scream, but
this I resisted firmly; my second, to
draw the laprobe closer about me, and
to this I yielded and resigned myself
to the inevitable.
The cab- stopped abruptly and the
cab door was flung eagerly open.
Strange undulations traveled up aad
down iny spine.
We were in the chapel by this time,
and the clergyman In his robes was
waiting for us with two witnesses—
everything very proper and legal. Aij
I could not trust my voice I began
to fumble with my veil; at least I
could uncover my face.
“Let me help you," he said, gently,
and untied the knot.
1 turned and faced him, and for a
moment we stared at each other as
though petrified.
"The devil!” he exclaimed, very
rudely, 1 thought.
1 made a gigantic effort to speak.
"My dear young friend,” I said in a
voice which sounded weak and au-
tomatic to my own ears, “I fear my
presence may be somewhat of a dis-
appointment as well as a sur-
prise-”
But 1 got no further, for he turned
helplessly to the clergyman as though
terrified.
"Take her away," he gasped, “there’s
some mistake. Let me out of this!”
But the minister lifted his hand
solemnly.
"There seems to be some strange
misapprehension," he said, sternly;
“let us get to the bottom of this mat-
ter at once. Did you expect to marry
this gentleman, madam? Pray ex-
plain.”
And I explained as well as I could.
When I reached home—a long time
after, for the distance was great and
the street cars slow—I found my
wrapper and slippers laid out In my
room und Josephine hovering anxious-
ly about the window watching for me.
I told her the whole story, and she
laughed In a way I thought ungrateful
and unappreciative.
"Josephine,” I said solemnly, "I
shall never recover from this night's
experience. I hope you will always
remember all I have done for you.”
"Oh, well," returned Josephine care-
lessly,. “of course it was awfully good
of you, but do you know. Aunt Ger-
trude, 1 think you bur gled the thing
most awfully "
spirits are often due to kidney disor-
ders. Pain and weakness in the back,
sides and hips, headaches, dizziness,
urinary disorders are sure signs that
the kidneys need immediate attention.
Delay is dangerous.
Alenzo Adams, Os-
ceola, Iowa, says:
“My kidneys failed
me. 1 suffered aw-
ful pain and was so
weak I could not
work, and often had
to take to bed. I
was dull and exhausted nearly all the
time. I consulted doctors and used
medicines, but only Doan's Kidney
Pills helped me. Soon I was perma-
nently cured.”
Remember the name—Doan’s. For
sale by all dealers. 50 cents a box.
Fostcr-Mllburn Co., Buffalo., N. Y.
WELL DEFINED.
De Quiz—What’s your idea of the
difference between optimism and pes-
simism?
Do Whiz—O! the optimist says it is
spring when it isn’t and the pessimist
says it isn’t when it is.
DREADFUL DANDRUFF.
“I think she's double-faced!"
"Oh, don't say that! One face like j
hers is bad enough!"
Hospitals a Benefit to Property.
The National Association ior the
Study and Prevention of Tuberculosis
has recently concluded an investiga-
tion, which, showe that 67.5 per cent,
of the tuberculosis sanatoria and hos
pitals of the United States have been
a benefit to the property and health
of the communities in which they are
located. In the case of more than 62
per cent, of the sanatoria the presence
of the institutions has helped to in-
crease the assessed value of surround-
ing property.
airP* Head Encrusted—Feared Loss
of All Her Halp—Baby Had Milk-
Crust—Missionary’s Wife Made
Two Perfect Cures by Cutlcura.
“For several years my husband
was a missionary in the Southwest.
Every one In that high and dry at-
mosphere has more or less trouble
with dandruff and my daughter's scalp
became so encrusted with it that I
was alarmed for fear she would lose
all her hair. After trying various rem-
edies, in desperation I bought a cake
of Cutlcura Soap and a box of Cutl-
cura Ointment. They left the scalp
beautifully clean and free from
dandruff, and I am happy to say that
the Cutlcura Remedies were a com-
plete success. I have also used suc-
cessfully the Cutlcura Remedies for
so called ‘milk-crust’ on baby’s head.
Cuticura Is a blessing. Mrs. J. A.
Darling, 310 Fifth St., Carthage, Ohio,
Jan. 20, 1908."
Potior Drug A Cbem. Corp., Sole Prop*., Boston.
Next Best.
A certain young minister in Phila-
delphia, recently ordained, is still very
nervous and sometimes his remarks
do not convey exactly the meaning ho
intended. A few Sundays ago he rose,
fumbled with the papers on his desk,
blushed, and then said:
“My Friends: I—I am sorry to say
that I have lost the notes for my ser-
mon, and I therefore cannot deliver
it. I will have to do the next best
thing, therefore, and read a few chap-
ters from the Bible!”—Illustrated Sun-
day Magazine.
They Should
"My honest conviction, based upon
my own experience and that of my
friends, is that ‘Hunt's Cure’ will cure
a larger per cent, of skin troubles,
especially of an itching variety, than
any other remedy. Certainly those af-
flicted with any form of itch should
| try If
J. O. Monroe,
Atchison, Kas.
Royal Great-Great Grandmother.
The birth of a Eon to tne youthful
duke and duchess of Sudermania gives
to royal Europe what it has not had
for more than ten years, namely, a
great-great-grandmother. The lady to
whom this honor has come is the
Grand Duchess Constantine Nicolaie-
vitch, who was, before her marriage,
Princess Alexandra of Saxe Altenburg.
Put ’Em Down.
"I think fancy hose should be pro-
hibited jjecause they promote bad
mauners.”
"What’s the answer?”
“They encourage the great Amert
can habit of sticking feet up on desks,
chairs, porch posts, etc.”—Kansas
City Times.
i Rough on Rats, unbeatable exterminator
Rough on Hen Lice, Nest Powder, 25c.
Rough on Bedbugs,PowderorLiq’d,25c.
Rough on Fleas, Powder or Liquid, 25.
Rough on Roaches, Pow'd, 15c.,Liq’d,25c.
Rough on Moth and Ants, Powder, 25c.
Rough on Skeeters, agreeable to use,25c.
E. S. Wells, Chemist, Jersey City, N. J.
Decollete.
j Wu Ting Fang, at a dance in Wash-
I ington, criticised the modern ballroom
! belle.’
“Like the ancient Briton, who
dressed in blue woad,” he said, "the
belle's idea, of a magnificent toilet
seems to be plenty of paint and very
little clothing."
Another Step Needed.
"I like my house ail right,” said
Luschman, “except for one thing. I
guess you’ll have to fix that.”
"What Is it?” asked the architect.
“Several times lately I've nearly
broken my neck reaching for another
step at the head of the stairs when I
got home late, so I guess you’d better
put another step there."—Catholic
Standard and Times.
Best In Existence
“I sincerely believe, all things con-
sidered, Hunt's Lightning Oil is the
most useful and valuable household
remedy In existence. For Cuts, Burns,
Sprains and Insect Bites It has no
equal bo far as my experience goes."
G. E. Huntington,
Eufala, Ala.
Not "Just as Good”—It’s the Best
One box of Hunt’s Cure is unfailing-
ly, unqualifiedly and absolutely guar-
anteed to cure any form of skin dis-
ease. It is particularly active in prompt-
ly relieving and permanently curing
all forms of Itching known.
Eczema, Tetter, Ringworm and all
similar troubles are relieved by one
application; eured by one box.
Caste Below Stairs.
“Are there degrees of rank in the
servants' hall?”
“To be sure. Maids who have
charge of dogs won't associate with
maids who take care of children.”—
Pittsburg Post.
The Ins and Outs of It.
“What is all that, racket going on
down in the lot?”
"Jim was breaking In the little
mare—"
“Well?"
“And the little mare has broken
out.”—Baltimore American.
Fine Crops.
"Do you raise anything worth while
in your garden?" said the visitor from
the city.
"I should say so,” answered Mr.
Crosslots; "it s the best place for fish-
ing worms in the entire village."
The Facts.
“Do poets ever really starve?”
“Well, maybe not. But we seldom
ever get a chance to overeat."
§!
I
GEES3
iegula-
wlsof
ALCOHOL-3 PER CENT
AYegctaWe Preparation for As-
similating the Food and Rl I
ling the Stomachs and Bowl
Infants/Children
Promotes Digestion,Checrful-
nessand Rest Contains neither
Opium,Morphine nor Mineral
Not Nahc otic
Kx>pr •fotHD'SA.Hvufrmra
n Sul -
Jlx •
ftthfllt Smtts •-
AnutSttJ *
Amtrmtiti -
/rtiWwiifcJUn •
Wmrm S**d •
CM"d Suf .r
Wtnkryrrtn Ftnror
A perfect Remedy forConstipa-
lion. Sour Slomach, Diarrhoea,
Worms .Convulsions Feverish-
ness and LOSS OF SLEEP
Fac Simile Signature of
Tire Centaur Company.
NEW YORK.
GASTORIA
ForInfent9j2iCliiM££2i
The Kind You Have
Always Bought
Bears the
Signature
of
Atb months old
35 Dosii ,J5Cents
Exact Copy of Wrapper.
In
Use
For Over
Thirty Years
GASTORIA
twa oiimua •ompant, ant von a cmr.
'In a pinch,
use
Fool-Ease.**
pinch.
A'len'a
ALLEN’S FOOT-EASE
Shake Into Your Shoes
Allen's FootaEase. a powder for the feet. It relieves painful, swol-
len, smarting, nervous feet, and instantly takes the sting out of corns
and bunions. It’s the greatest comfort discovery of the age.
Allen's FootaH.ise makes tight-fitting or new shoes feel easy. It is a
certain relief for ingrowing nails, perspiring, callous and hot, tired,
aching feet. It is always in demand for use in Patent Leather Shoes
and for Breaking in New Shoes, We have over 30.000 testimonials.
TRY IT TODAY. Sold by all Druggists, 25c. Do not accept
any Substitute. Sent by mail for 25c. in stamps.
FREE TRIAL PACKAGE sent by mail. Address
ALLEN S. OLMSTED, LE ROY, N, Y.
HAVE YOU A BOY
TO EDUCATE?
Before deciding on a school
do not fail to obtain the
latest catalogue of
HOLY TRINITY COLLEGE
OF DALLA8
Catalogue sent for the asking.
Address HOLYTRINITY COLLEGE, Dept. M
OAK LAWN, DALLAS, TEXAS
WR IGLEY'SkT^
SPEARMINT
__PEPSIN
if
k
Hard to Convince Him.
"So you’re going to marry old Got-
rox’ daughter, eh? Well, you know
two can live cheaper than one."
“I know, but I can’t convince her
father of that fact.”
Dr. Biggers Huckleberry Cordial
When taken at the beginning of Stomach
troubles never fails to cure Diarrhoea,
SaSSstfS and *500°per'bottle: ^ j g|Q|( HEADACHE
Learning without thought is labor
lost, thought without learning is peril-
ous.—Confucious.
Millions of leaves make mil-
-lions of drops -tor lavor mil-
Hions of sticks of delicious
WRIGLEYS
' H
Look for thf‘spoai\i. Thfef lavor last
SPEARMINT
Attend to Your Liver
No organ in the human body can
give as many different kinds of trouble
as the Uver when it is not right. Sim-
mons’ Liver Purifier makes it right
and keeps it so.
AH, UP-TO-DATE HOUSEKEEPERS
line Red Cross Ball Blue. It makes clothes
clean and sweet as when new. All grocers.
The good times we long for will not
come in the guise of 48-cent watches.
ilriblo remedy 1< r diarrhea. dysentery and all bowel
complaints. Get the genuine. 26c, 86c and 60e.
It wouldn't be a had idea to acquire
the habit of dodging pessimists.
CARTER'S
llTTLE
IVER
PILLS.
mk
It is right to look our life accounts
bravely in the face now and then, and
settle them honestly.—Bronte.
Better than gold—Like it in color—
Hamlins Wizard Oil—the best of all rem-
edies for rheumatism, neuralgia, and ail
pain, soreness and inflammation.
We lose money and comfort, and
even temper sometimes by not learn-
ing to be more careful.—Dickens.
w .
There’s a rich, satisfying quality in
Lewis’ Single Binder that is found in no
other 5c cigar.
Separating an easy mark from his
money is nothing to boast of.
Mrs. Winslow’s Soothing Syrnp,
I For children teething, aof tool the gum*, reduces tn-
lUiumuilou, allays pain, cure* wind colic. 25c a buttlo.
The daughter s doings have been
the mother’s acts.
Positively cured by
these Little Pills.
They also relieve Dis-
tress from D.vsppjtsiu, In-
digest Ion and Too Hearty
Eating. A perfect rem-
edy for Dizziness, Nau-
sea, Drowsiness, liad
Taste in the Mouth, Coat-
ed Tongue, Pain In the
Side, TORPID LIVER.
They regulate the Bowels. Purely Vegetable.
SMALL PILL. SMALL DOSE. SMALL PRICE.
Genuine Must Bear
Fac-Simile Signature
REFUSE SUBSTITUTES,
OLD SORES CURED
Allen’s Ulcerine Halve cu rest - h ron le U Iv.o rtt, Bono
Ulcers,Scrofulous Ulcers.Varicose Ulcers,In-
dolent Ulcers,Mercurial Ulcers,WhlteSwell-
Ing.Milk Leg. Fever Horen, »lltil«i«)rf». bo
failurv. R7b.bII.-7n-. J.P.ALLKN.lX>pt.A1.St.Paul.Mlnn.
W. N. U„ Oklahoma City, No. 29 -1909.
LAZY LIVER
“I find Cascarets so good that I would
not be without them. I was troubled a
great deal with torpid liver and headache.
Now since taking Cascarets Candy Cathar-
tic I feel very much better. I shall cer-
tainly recommend them to my friends w
the best medicine I have ever seen. ”
Anna Bazinet,
Osborn Mill No. 2, Pall River, Mass.
10c. Z5c, 50c. Never sold in bulk. The genu-
ine tablet stamped C C C. Guaranteed t'l
cure or your money back. 928
Hr. MrlNTOSII celebrated
Natural Uterine Supporter
gives immediate relief. Sold by all sur-
steal instrument dealer* and leading
dnigglat* In United Mates and Canada.
Catalog, price list and particulars mailed
on application.
TUB HASTINGS & McINTOSH TRUSS CO.,
812 Walnut St.. Philadelphia, Pa^ (
manufacturers of trusses and
solo makers of the Genuine
■tamped "McIntosh" Supporter.
DROPSY
Hook of testimonials and 10 days' treatment KKKH
UR. 11. U. U UUifiM'S SONS. Hoi U. ATLANTA. GA.
You Look Prematurely Old
ooooueo or inoas ugly, grizzly, gray halre. IJae LA CREOLE” HAIR RESTORER.a PRICE, SI.OO, retail.
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Keyes, Chester A. The Canadian Valley News. (Jones City, Okla.), Vol. 9, No. 9, Ed. 1 Friday, July 16, 1909, newspaper, July 16, 1909; Jones, Oklahoma. (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc859379/m1/3/: accessed May 4, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.