Oklahoma Daily Times-Journal (Oklahoma City, Okla.), Vol. 2, No. 255, Ed. 1 Saturday, July 25, 1891 Page: 4 of 4
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"AMBER" ON HENS AND WOMEN
HrMtf Bit# of l*ull<Miuphr from B«rn-
jird aod Garden Anlm>U<
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B. E
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If Pal
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tered fo
among (
this weo
anil rnuc
pap(XVMi
bucks an
constant
Antelope
Shosliono
5
It is i
corps is u
to going t
townsito
now town
tor Mr. O
poricnce t
and will r
soil but (1
and brail
county sc
crvation
2000 with
A gent
(lent thcr
very bad
that it is (
ncss, typ
prevailing
tion is g
being of a
ulations a
and it ia
them to i
clean up ti
and garbaj
in much
says the g
the fun po
Ir THE <
make an i
lor the go
tho busine
which will
l§: of every oil
' tale to app
the bridge
committee';!
has almost
take some
expenses in
free of debt,
but is worth
than pay fc
trade which
south of the
' interested it
good bridge!
legally make
will hare to
least help to
no hesiiancy
and council I
ation.
m
havo boasted ol a longer or more wool-
lv•headed train of followers? So with
Did you ever notice what an expec-
tant air a chicken has, and what a
wonderful capacity for doing the same
thing all day long without the least
result? I have beon watching an old
henprauce up and down before a picket
feuce for tho last half-hour with the
apparent object in view of getting out
and joining the rest of the nens in an
adjacent field. Up and down, dowu
and up, with the persistence of a well-
regulated pendulum she goes, and
each time she charges down the track
you would think she had surely found
the place of exit and was goiug forth
like a conquering hero through a bat-
tle-breached wall. Will shegiveit up,
I wonder, or will she go on and on un-
til somebody, driven mad by her stu-
pidity, rushes out and flings her head-
long through the wide open gate that
is barely three feet away.
I have uot much respect for hens.
They seem to me abonttne most sense-
less things ever allowed to live. And
yet there are times when they display
the cunning of Belial. Wo kept them
once, and f needed no other discipline
in life than that which cameof the un-
dertaking. Talk about a camel go-
ing through the eye of a needle! I would
rather attempt to drive a span of them
through a No. 6 cambric than seek to
guide a chicken through a lUxl2 barn-
door. You can't do anything with a
hen if you lose your temper. They
nro like obstinate poople. They re-
quire a polite approach and sublime
patience.
As I write the hen has emerged from
the yard, and stauds transfixed with
everlasting astonishment, as though
the last thing that ever entered her
mind was the leaving of the inclosure.
There she has been struggling like a
lunatic for a solid hour to gain her
liberty, and now pretends tho whole
thing in a surprise! isn't that just
like some folks? Indeed, tiie more I
see of the haunts and habits of animal
lifo the closer 1 lind the resemblance
between human kind and the four-
Jooted ami winged denizeus of farm-
yard and foreat
Look at that flock of sheep, for in-
stance. There is a leader to the lot,
and the twentv-sevcn that bring up the
vanguard will follow liirn down a
precipice or into the sea if he attempts
either route. Can you not find their
counterpart every day in human na-
ture? One individual get* hold of a
new idea, and, however opposed it
may be to common sense, ho will al-
ways lind f< '.lowers the minute ho lifts
his h?ad and starts to run. Take the
unaccountable mania for gum-chew-
ing that has swept over the land,
transforming our old women and our
maidens into whimsical ruminants.
Could anything more senseless have
been inaugurated by a sheep? And
could any old gray-beard of a mutton
1 of a 1.
ly-r • •
the dress-reform. An excellent idea
in many respects and a glorious dis-
enthraling t for fashion-fettered wom-
ankind. But although John Calvin
might have preached it, and another
son of Nazareth died to bring it about,
it was not until somebody stepped out
and headed the flock that tlie social
world fell into line to follow.
Look at that moustor porker floun-
dering in the dust! lie is lost in reali-
zation of croaturo comforts. Ho is fat,
and peaceful, and serenely self-con-
tercd. Ho exists but to absorb senti-
ment, And tho best place possible
whereon to bask his lazy length, and
finally evolve a sparedb roast out of
his own superabundant juices and fat.
Which of us cannot find his prototype
in any railroad car or restaurant in
the laud?
Look at the goose ducking her head
to pmma through tho barn-door! l)oe&
Mho not epitomize the qualities of the
blessed woman who travels through
the world and believes tho highways
thereof were cast up for her especial
and exclusive use? She is lost in won-
der that timn-tubloa, thoroughfares,
leats In railroad cars, or even the soUt
system should havo had other ends and
purposes in view than her individual
convenience. She regards every step
of her advance from the cradle to the
grave as a special triumph yielded to
her own importance. Ami yet the
graudiloquent, high - stepping goose
and the serenely self-satisfied and self-
ish woman appear of equal importance
in tho eyes of disinterested and philo-
sophic onlookers.
Look at that colony of swallows flut-
tering about tho gables of the musty
old barn. How busy they are! Chat-
ter and dart and startle! Don't they
remind you of the women folks at
home about house-cleaning time? An
awful amount of bustle one month out
of the twelve, which might bo avoided
if swallows and housekeepers would
study up the law of averages.
Hero is a patch of belated pausies,
"Johnny-jump-ups" they called them
when 1 was a girl. How bright and
cheery, and chatty they look! Wi-
ll ave those sort of faces every day
about our breakfast table. The little
folks, God bless 'em! with their shin-
ing, eager eyes, and the sun-mottled
velvet of their cheeks, their flying hair,
and their gorgeous coloring of youth
and health, are they not the blessed
heartsease of our homes?
There is a fuchsia yonder iu (he win-
dow-box turbaned like a Turk and ap-
pareled like a Queen. Just such
sumptuous, graceful women we meet
with every day riding in their car-
riages or chattering in the opera boxes.
Like the fuchsia they bear no fra-
granco. They attract "the eye but fail
fo touch the heart. The irold of the
dandelion, out iu tho garden borders,
does it not remind you of patient and
contented'soulsthatglow behind horae-
lv faces nnd within humble homes?
The clover sets us thinking of cheerful
•Id-maid aunts and sweet-hearted elder
listers who yield the honey of their
'ives for others. The violet brings a
tear to our eye, remembering frail
invalids and "shut-in" ones whose del-
icate beauty nestlos close within the
shadows of a cross, but the haughty
fuchsia repels us with its pride and
chills us with its splendor. * Ah me,
for a garden, either in this or the im-
mortal country, that grows no scat-
tered flowers and plauis no idle weeds.
— i*nW
Jusi Alter the Ktna.
Mrs. Kershaw—1"How well you are
looking, dear, and what beautiful
diamonds! How long were \ou iu
Paris?"
Mrs. Coggshall—"We didn't go there
at all."
Mr*. Kershaw—"Why,I did pot know
tlioy made thoin so perfectly deceptive
anywhere olsii,"—Judge.
A Singer's Itevenge.
A discharged chorister iu an Ohio
town took revenge on tho congrega-
tion by silling iu a pew uud purposely
singing out of tune.
flhoulil Women Pop the Question.
Mrs. Frank Leslie was resting her
elbows on a desk, which is thoroughly
businesslike in every respect, when I
entered her private office says Nellie
Bly in the New York World. I said:
"Mrs. Leslie, we are going to dis-
cuss a question in the World, and 1
would like to have your opinion on the
subject"
• Yes; I waa just reading a lot of
clippings containing my opioions on
various subjects, and here is one," lift-
ing up one from the desk, "which de-
scribes what ray month is like."
••Tbii ^t.t>.i«>n is quite important
in thud*) of almost equal rights,'' I
coutinuftl. "Shv'uhl women propose?"
••Or ex laimed, and then she
laughed. -What au idea! Brigham
Young once sakl that he wished all
; women had the right to propose/'
•'And what do you think?
"Well, I don't think to," she replied,
slowly. "The more womanly a woman
is the sweeter she is. Let the men
keep that right It is much easier to
use the right of refusal or acceptance
than that of proposing."
"Don't you think a woman has as
much right as a man to woof" I
urged.
••Yes," with a smile, "and she can
do it with her eyes and with the
thousaad little ways sho knows so well
how to employ, but let her lips be
silent"
"But don't you thiuk if women could
propose they would more often get
those they love?"
"Doubtless, but they must not do
it, for it moans death," she said earn-
estly.
"How so?"
"Why, if a man should refuse a
woman she would never bo satisfied
until she killed him. I know I would
not,'' with a tap of her tiny boot.
"Would he dare—would he have the
courage to refuse her?" I asked.
"i "don't think ho would," she
smiled. •'Then think how wretched a
woman would be. She would always
'ear that ho wauted to refuse but did
uot dare."
Wo both laughed at this view of the
question, and then I said agaiu:
"So you do not believe in women
having that right?"
"No; let her bo as womanly as she
can," sho said liiiulv. "If i had mv
to live over, and 1 know it you had
the choosing of yours, wo would both
prefer a quiet home, obscurity, no
knowledge of tho world, and no rights
except those of a mother aud a wife."
Mr. Chauncey Depew was question-
ed. "Proposing cost teu years of
my life. I would have lived just
ton years longer if I had not proposod.
It took me a year to got my courage
up to the point I most certainly be-
lieve in womon taking that privilogs
from tho men."
A Monster Vessel or Olden Times.
Ptolemseus Philopater, one of the
ancient Kings of Egypt, is said to have
built a vessel 120 feet long.66 foot wide.
72 feet high from the keel to the top
of tho prow, and 80 feet to tho top ol
the poop. It had four helms of 60
feet; its largest oars wore 66 feet long,
with leaden handles, so as to bo more
easily worked; it had two prows, two
sterns, and seven rostra or beaks. On
both poop and prow it had figures of
men and animals that were fully
eighteen feet high. It had 4,000 row-
ers, 400 cabin boys or servants, 2,820
marines to do duty on deck, besides
beiug provided with immense stores of
arms und provision*
Adventure with a Yt'Mow.
I have no doubt at all bul they're a
very good institution in their way, and
just as necessary as death aud taxos-
but I'll take miue without 'em hereaf-
ter. for aII that
I mean widows.
You fee, I always had a secret hor-
ror of a mother-in-law and a widow.
This is how it was:
1 was traveling from Atlanta to
Smithville not. long ago, and it so hap-
pened that a Ionn widow und myself
were left the only occupants of" the
first-class coach half way between Ma-
con and Smithville.
I saw at once she was a widow by
tho look she gave me, and would have
■eti rod peacefully to the sleeping car
but for the fact that it was crowded
and not a seat available.
She knew that she had me, and was
not long in letting mo know it
"It's awful traveling alone, sir."
"I don't find it so, madam," I said,
raising up the window and looking
out
"No; because you're not a poor wid-
dor, like 1 am—that's why. Please let
down that window; tho draft will kill
me."
"I wish it would," I muttered, as
the window came down with a ban".
But she overheard mo.
"Oh, he wants to kill me! Conduc-
tor! Conductor!"
The conductor came ruuuiug in.
He shook mo roughly by the arm.
"See here, now INoiie of your insults
to a defenseless woman. You'll not
kill anybody on my train. I'll havo
you arrested at the first station I trot
to."
"He's hurt my affections," sobbed
tlio widow.
"I'll make him pay for it," said the
oouductor.
"A poor lone widder," she cried.
It was in vain I sought to explain. I
got off the train at the first station,
aud lay low aud kept dark for two
days. Thou I crawled out aud sneaked
home, a sadder but wiser man.
Brethren, uo more widders iu miue.
—Smithville (On.) New*.
A H.n-nnr* M m« In Hr1 tany
I entered at his invitation. T.e
small, low, smoke-grimed room was
parlor, dining-room, kitchen and nur-
sery—mostly nursery, it seemed, as
near as I could make out. I was still
blinking with the glare of the blazing
inn fiercely beating on iny libera',
lime-wash sqnaudered on every side
—except inside. There was a pungent
reek of past and prcseut smoke that
helped to obscure the sun-dazed vis-
ion: and it was some minutes before I
made out of the bituminous gloom
that I was in the presence of au
anxious youug mother, wistful and sad
face, rocking a pale youug baby in as
primitive and touching a cradle as
ever I met with. Mothers and babies
and cradles of all sorts aud conditions
had I seen, aud sketched too, iu my
little career, but never had 1 seen just
lucli a mother's nest before for any
mite of humanity, no matter how low-
ly or forlorn. Jacky saw me eyeing
it with an obliq ie glance of interest
and amusemeu1 and hastened to ex-
plain, with a lone half proud, half
apologetic, that he had builded it all
himse'f. all out of his own invention,
narcu~ed by the moment of necessity.
The materials were donations from
various sympathetic neighbors. The
grocer's wife gave the oblong packing-
case; aud ho called my attention to its
happy shape and size. He made light
of the various labels, directions, and
other decorations, including (in big
stencilled letters; that wo tfof caution,
"Fragile," on one end of fc. "It made
it more amusing," he said. Tho rock-
ers were made from a couple of old
chair backs'donated by the cabinet-
maker. Tho canopy (if one may use
so fine a word) was an arrangement of
old barrel hoops nailed at the head,
with an old faded shawl gracefully
draped over them. I stood gazing at
this quaint bit of home contrivance
with far more interest than 1 have
given to manv a carveu and gilded
cradle of some by-gone princeling iu
some museum. The poor father could
aardly interpret my smile of amuse-
ment over his handiwork. He did his
best to explain and apologize, uerer
thinking that from my point of view it
was a very "find" of uuconsoious pic-
turesquencss.
By this time the little room had
come out of its thick shadows. The
window was close curtained to keep
out the glare and the flies, as Jack ex-
plained. Our whispered voices were
not so low as to prevent ns from rous-
ing the baby, ana sho began to dig her
little pink lists into herlittlo pink eyes,
and whimper out a feeble protest at
the world in general. I said softly to
the pale little mother that if sho
wantod to lot her sleep on I would sit
down and sketch and never say a
word. She gave a little approving
nod, and the curtain was drawn a
littlo aside for tho light, and down I
sat to my work, as if there had been
no yesterday of poetry and pleasant
fellowship, of hair-breadth 'scapes and
moonlight wanderings, of sad awaken-
ings on tho morrow, of rushing off—
one cared not whether—to seek forget-
fulncss. Here, iu no time at all, yes-
terday and the morrow were toned into
tho background, aud the foreground of
our thoughts was occupied by a fly-
tormonteu baby in a packing-box
oradlo. What, babies we are, and
what babies wo pursue!—George H.
Broughton, in Harper's Magazine.
Flowers at Night
The clovers are indeed a drowsy
family; they keep regular hours, and
make a thorough business of their
slumber—red clover with their heads
tucked under their wings, us it were.
A ItelijfIoun Horse.
A Hartford fCoun.) physic
this story: "When Sunday e<
hvsician tells
BBiBBBBBlB
horse knows that I am not
omes my
ou my professional rounds, but he wi
put on nis best style and proceed to the
accustomed church, when, without any
guiding ou my part, he will land his
load at the church door; and woe to the
team that may chance to get in ahead 1
of hiui. Ou no other day of the week
will he majtt the attempt to turn up
into or pay atteutiou to the road lead-
iug to the church. Two weeks ago
Sunday I took my wife out for a ride
on Boltou mountain, and iu going had
to pass a church, ouo to which the
horse was not accustomed to go, when
to my surprise ho was bound to stop.
It was ouly with some difficulty that 1
got hiiu past tho spot. About a mile
aud a half further ou he came to
another church, one at which he has ,
never been accustomed to stop. To my \
surprise John made another strong ef-'
fort to stop. On any week day he wili j
pass that church daily without payiug t
U the least attention."
I'opnlai
or .AiiMtrulin.
Australia has now 4.7^0,000 of peo-
pie. l.fiOO 000 more than the n.ipula*
tion of lite Amen, m colonies when
they declared their independence, and
about the *:un« a? 'fe'mpl tho pres-
ent time.
the young blossom clusters completely
hooded beneath "'itafrVi-tPP'u/f "PP r
unir of leaven, nrid ovary individual
leaf below bowed with folded palms.
Tho white clovers were similarly well
brought up, and continued their ves-
pers, through the livelong night, their
littlo praying bands to be seen every-
where along the path. The yellow
hop-clover played all sorts of antics
with its leaves without seeming rhyme
or reason. The tall bush' clover, ris-
ing here and there among the slum-
berous beds, presented a complete
surprise, being entirely changed from
its diurnal aspect, the ordinary gener-
ous leafy spread of foliage now assum-
ing the shape of au upright wand,
each three-foliage leaf being raised
upon its stem, with the leaflets folded
inward, clasping tho maternal stalk.
It had its arms full indeed, and seemed
conscious of its heavy responsibility.
The trailing ground-nut vine and the
delicate wild bean were hardly recog-
nizable in their odd night-dress; and
the desmodiums at the border of the
woods presented a singular contrast of
drooping listlessness, with each leaflet
hanging as vertically as a plummet I
sought the familiar plumy beds of the
little partridge-pea, wondering what
sort of a reception I would meet from
that quarter, but I found these plants
even more fast asleep and transformed
than their drowsy neighbors, and had
trodden on a number of the plants ere
I discerned them, fov, line the sensi-
tive mimosa, which tlioy so much re-
semble, and which
"openfHl ItH fnn-likc leavoa to ihe light
Aud ck*c<l tbein heueuth *he klssOB of uigtit',
these tiny leaflets were now folded in
a long flat ribbon for each leaf, pre-
senting thin edges to the sky, hardly
distinguishable from the thin seed-pods
among them.
The uuture of tho nocturnal move-
ments aud attitudes of plants, both iu
leaves aud flowers, has loug been a
theme of speculation among botanists.
Iu the case of many flowers the night
attitudes have been conclusively shown
to have relation solely to their fertili-
zation by iuB«c o.
The drooping attitude of leaves at
night was commonly supposed to in-
dicate an aversion of moisture, manv
plants assuming the same position
during rain as iu dow. thus seeming to
verify the conjecture; but when the I
same pranks were played iu a cloudy |
day or a dewleas night, the explana-
tion had to be abandoned. In the )
.dover tribe the nocturnal positions j
already described seem to be assumed
only iu tho darkness, and this invaria-
bly, dew or no dew, while the loaves !
seem to revel in the rain, remaining :
freely open.— H". Hamilton Gibson, in
Harper's Magazine.
The Coming American.
Father—tyy son, I learn that you are
behind iu your studies. I fear you are |
wasting your opportunities. Most *of
the men of this country who havo be- '
come great eujoyed few of tho ad-,
vantages you possess. Do you realize i
that If you are earnest and diligeutyov >
may some day become Presideut?
Son—Yes. sir; but "
Father—But what? Have you uo
ambition 9
Son—Yes, sir: but I have been
practicing until I have got th« drop
curve down flue enough to fool a fish-
net, and 1M rather be th« pitcher of u
winning base-ball team th.iu Presideut
of the Uuited Suites with a privilege of
two reuewt**.—Juilui.
A common otfeuse of which mothers
are guilty is indicated by the heading
of this paragraph. A mischievous
*hild has disobeyed some maternal
eommand, or smashed a window, or
backed off the cat's tail, or scratch-
ed littlo sister's pink-and-white com
plexion.
"You, John Henry Montague ChoV
mondley, just wait and I'll tell youf
father when he comes home."
Thus threatens the mother, whose
gentle heart forbids her punishing the
little rebel. It is a dire threat, and
laden with dark portents, says the Do-
roil Free Press. From one point of
view it may be interpreted as a back-
handed compliment to the father—a
confession, so to say, that his dis-
ciplinary resources are superior to
hers. But that is a superficial view of
the case. In reality that mother's
threat presents the father to the child's
mental vision as a terror, a thing of
dreadful apprehensions—a bogie man
by whom he is to becarried off tosomo
dark, damp cave, there to be eaten up
with savage relish. Now, that is not
only radically wrong as a measure ot
domestic government, but it amouuts
to an ungenerous refusal to "give the
old man a chance." What man with
a father's natural feelings in his heart
would consent to play the role of mon-
ster to his child, for whose good (if he
could but kuow what it was) ho would
Dot hesitate to make a personal sacri-
fice? Therefore what right or color of
right has the mother to force him,
against his very soul's protest, to play
so revolting a part? His manhood re-
coils from it; his self-respect forbids it:
nis natural human affection cries aloud
in deunnciation of it. Let us have no
more of it It is a crime iu all but the
intent, a wicked and far-reaching slan-
der. for which there is no defense save
the mother's own sense of fair plav.
And that will be quite enough when it
once reached by intelligent appeal.
Come, now, honor bright, good moth-
t, haven't you committed this offense
/nee a week ever since your chilu
tnow the meaning of words? Oh, ol
course, dear heart, you nover thought
ot it in this light; but now that you art
minded of it you will henceforth keep
a figurative clothes-pin on your tongue,
won't von?
THE BANJO IN THE BOUDOR.
I can well imagine the feelings of the
New Orleans darky, as ho existed be-
fore the war, if ho could only visit a
London drawiug-room in full season
and hear the young scions of the aris-
tocracy twanging the once-derided
"plantation" instrument in the ears of
the damsels of high estate, says Henry
Labouchere in the London Truth. The
aged tenant of an Ohio cabin holding
would probably be equally astonished
could he but see the most exalted male
in this realm throwing aside those
troubles which tho inhabitants of the
greater republic are pleased to con-
sider the affairs of state, and giving a
boudoir performance on the banjo be-
fore the princess and their daughters,
I am informed by those who ought to
know that the Prince of Wales, like
his relative the Czar of liussiu, is no
mean performer on the banjo, aud as
he has an excellent musical memory,
without pretending to too much tech-
nical knowledge, he can, after return-
ing from the opera or opera bouffe,
pick out the tunes on the banjo with
astonishing facility. It is not alto-
gether surprising that the banjo is once
more becoming popular here. It is es-
sentially a home instrument, and
among tho negroes in the "south" of
the United States—that is to gay,
among probably fho most domesticity-
loving community in the world—the
banjo is at once a solace and a joy. It
1>, even more to the humble darky
than the pipe is to the British working-
mau; for not only will it keep him
company when he is alone, but it is
the national instrument of mirth aud
festivity. The banjo is heard as the
cotton boat floats down the liver. The
Venetian gondoliers, the rowers on the
Neva, and the American niggers all
enjoy boatiug melodies while at their
work. The,Thames bargee alone pre-
fers the sound of his own peculiar
vocabulary. But tho revival of banjo-
playing in London is not confined to
the royal family. Mr. Gladstone him-
self is said to favor the instrument
which also solaces the few intervals of
leisure in which other brain-workers
are able to indulge. Moreover, it has
had the incidental effect of reviving a
taste for the guitar aud the mandolin
which, though akin to it, both differ
from the good old banjo of the London
drawing-room. Iudeed, the mandolin,
which is played with a plectrum, is but
a tinkling-bell compared with the ban-
jo or guitar. Of the three I am, how-
ever, inclined to thiuk that the guitar
has the most promising future. Al-
though it may not possess^the mascu-
line majesty of the banjo, it has
around it the ineffable halo of romance.
Moreover, it well becomes a man, al-
ways supposing that ho be uot of cor-
pulent habit; and as he attitudinizes,
among a circle of admiring ladies, the
blue ribbon hung lightly over one
shoulder and under one arm, he may,
if he but possess a figure at all, easilv
imagine himself a first-class "masher."
The guitar has, too, the advantage ol
possessing a fairly good repertory oi
music written especially for it, thanks
to the labors of Guilfania, Legnaui,
Kreutzer, Regondi, aud Leonard
Schultz. The banjo, however, does
not deserve the unworthy wit leveled
at it by those who have only heard it
as performed by the peripatetic mu-
sician at the head of Margaret Jatty.
or by tho musical partner of the
"Bones'' of uegro minstrelsy. The in-
strument -which au Ulster immigrant
once described as a drumhead with the
bottom knocked out—can discourse
sweet music if played by an expert.
Mixed iuMructions.
A little 5-year-old girl, who lives in
Northwest Baltimore, the pride of a
jolly papa and devoted mamma, was
sent to a kindergarten the other day.
It was her first experience at school,
but her composure was remarkabli
under the circumstances. The teachet
asked her what she had been taught at
home, aud she replied:
"I tun ting."
"What can you sing?" inquired the
teacher.
"O, lots! My mamma and papa
make me ling lots of hymns."
"Then let us hear one," said the
teacher.
1 be 6-year-old didn't hesitate a
minute, but at once began as follows:
"If a t>odr meet a tKxljr
Trumping through the nnow.
Thj ut ara no Hie., on (.allnghor
lut-auge he let thorn go;*1
Hi,- teacher ivm dumfonuded. Oil
inquiry slip found Hint while the nmni-
nm tiii'il lirird to ti-noh her ..INprinu
•ui-h melodies ns "Heulth l.and " the
ivichi d pupa', instruction proved'mor«
effective, ttallimore Sun.
Oow« in Lows lifvea.
"Do you know that t"h" average life
of a crow is 100 years." *aid an At-
lantian who pose* as a naturalist to an
Atlanta Constitution reporter. "It is
so. One was killed down in L>oughertv
county a few weeks ago with 'ST
brauded on his back. He was well
feathered everywhere except just be-
tween the wings on his back where
the figures &T could l>e distinctly seen
branded in the flesh. I can see but
one mcauing to that, and that is that
some one caught him in 1837. branded
the figures on his hack, aud released
him. But it is the first case of brand-
ing a bird I have ever known.
"Terrapins live even longer than
crows. One is said to havo been
caught down iu the Savanna Rive1- re-
ceutly with the figures 1776 cut in its
shell. And fish. There are fish alive
to-day that are known to have been in
existeuce more than 100 years ago.
In the royal aquarium at St. Peters-
burg are fish put there 150 years ago."
Punished I'Jnough.
Maud: "What's Mr. Nicefellow's ad-
dress, Edith?" Edith: "25 Blank street
Why?" "The rude fellow kissed me
last evening, aud I ordered him out of
Ihe house and told hiiu uot to dare
enter the door again until I sent for
him. Are vou sure it's 25?"—Philadel-
phia Record
Memory's Queer Caper,
I heard a story the other day about
a prominent church member who had
been called on to load a prayer-meet^
ing. Ho selected the subject of some
preliminary remarks, read au appro-
priate chapter from the Bible, aud
started upon his discourse. For five
minutes he spoke smoothly, fluently,
and aptly, and then, all of a sudden,
by some queer caper of t lie mind, he
forgot not ouly the thread of his dis-
course, but the subject itself. He
paused to collect his thoughts, but
they would not bo collected. Then he
beckoned to a worthy brother in the
front pow. When tho brother came
the speaker whispered this inquiry in
his ear:
••Do you remember what Ih^vebeen
talking about?"
"lley!" cxolaimed tho worthy broth-
er. Ho evidently thought the speaker
was accusing him of a lack of atten-
tion.
••Do you know the subject 1 was
speak iug on?"
"No, I do not," said the worthy
brother, scratching his head in a per-
plexed way.
Here was a pickle, sure enough.
Then tho leader of the meeting called
another member up and made the
same inquiries. But this member was
as ignorant of the matter as the first
one, and the speaker, in desperation,
renewed his remarks, touching on an
entirely different line of thought, as he
afterwards remembered. His audience
never knew the difference, as he took
pains to inquire.—Atlanta Constitution.
WIT AND HUMOR.
One member of the Canadian Cabi-
net is named Bowell. This is almost
a casus belli.—Binghamton Republican.
If we could all see ourselves as oth-
ers see us most of us would hardly see
ourselves at all.—Journal of Education.
New clerk—These apples seem to be
small. Proprietor (irritably)—Well,
what do you expect when you open the
wrong end of the barrel?—Iloston Bea-
con.
At the drug store—Customer—Have
you anything that will remove super-
fluous hair? Druggist (quietly, but
with confidence)—Yes, sir, my wife.—
Washington Critic.
The course of true love never does
run smooth, aud later on in life when
we see a girl that wo like better, we
often feel mighty glad it didn't—Jour-
nal of Education.
Flattery is the worst of insults; but
there are mighty few people in this
world who are keen enough to know
when anybody is insulting them.—
Somerville Journal.
Polite conductor—"Your fare, mad-
am.'' Miss Cossy Cobb (from Stam-
ford)—"You'd orter see 1110 before I
got sun-scorched at Aunt Hanner's
clam-bake."—Time.
If church bolls did not ring no one
would remember that it was Sunday.
That's why they ring, and it prevents
lots of men from starting out with fish-
poles. ^—Detroit Free Press.
Tho mau who said that marriage re-
sembles a lottery labored under a mis-
understanding. When you patronize
a lottery you nave some show of com-
ing out ahead.—Lincoln Journal.
"You fellows charge a high price for
pulling teeth," said a real estatedealer,
to a dentist. "O, I don't know about
that," was the confident reply, "we
only charge $1 an acher."—Time.
Begin your Christmas embroidery
now. The "Heaven Bless Our Flat
aud the slippers for your husband aud
the rector should not be rushed
through at the last minute.—New York
Sun.
Harry (who had some money given
him to spend at the fair)—Papa, thiugs
were so cheap at the fair that 30 cents
of my money was wasted. Papa-
Wasted? Harry—Yes; I didn't spend
it— Life.
Citizen (to Farmer Hayseed?)-How's
things up ou the farm, AJi\ Hayseed?
Farmer Hayseed—Dinged bad. My
wife is down sick au' two of my bosses
has got heaves. I'm lookiu' for a good
boss doctor.—Life.
A man has just died in Connecticut
who smoked over 2,000,herrings aday.
There is no accounting for tastes.
Perhaps the poor mau had to choose
between herrings and Connecticut
cigars. —Harper's Bazar.
Mrs. Hani—Do have some more
cream, Miss Sweettooth. Miss Sweet-
tooth (hesitating)—Well, just a little,
Mrs. Hard. Ouly a mouthful. Mrs.
Hard—Bridget, fill Miss Swoettooth's
plate up again.—Harper's Bazar.
Some excitement was causod at a re-
ception in Philadelphia last week by
the discovery that a young man who
had no grandfather hacl crept in
through tho back door. Ho was sum-
marily ejected.—New York Sun.
Grocer—Well, gouny, what can I do
for you? Sonny—Me'mudder sent me
back wid the butter and wine. She
sod she ordered now butter an' old
wine, an' she thinks you've got the
wintages mixed up.—New York Sun.
Mrs. J.—My new piano reminds me
of a successful business-man." Mr. J.
—WhyP Mrs. J.—O, well, it's always
square. And then its notes never go
to protest. Mr. J.—No; b«tt the neigh-
bors are going to.— Term Haute Ex-
press.
Somebody has written a paper on
"How to Tell a Woman's Age." Jt is
bad information How to kuow a
woman's age would be useful know-
ledge, but the mau who undertakes to
Picayune.
Dude (to citizen of Arizona)— Ah—
has yonr family family treeP Arizo-
nian—I dunno as you would call it ex-
actlv a family tree, stranger, but two
of our folks liev been strung up on that
ere cotton-wood out yender.—Burling-
ton Free frees.
Mrs. Bacon—I say, Mr. Chalkem, I
understand you are about to raise ^ the
price of milkP Chalkem—Yes, ma am;
milk will be nine cecu a quart after
the tirst of the month. "That a w'1*-
you call high water mark, I suppose.
—Yonkere Statesman.
Boriyalitt—My son, when that great
day comes, where will we lind y°ij
with the sheep or the goats? Small
boy—Jiggered if I know. Ma, she
says I'm her "little lamb," and pa calls
me "the kid," so I guess I'll have to
give it up.—Terre Haute Express.
Mr. Bornlucky—"Ah, congratulate
me, Googles, I've won a prize in the
Louisiana State lottery.' Googles—
"By doggy, old man, you don't say so,
how much?" Mr. Bornlucky—"Twelve
dollars." Googles—"What did it cost
youP ' Mr. Bornlucky—"Thirty dol-
lars."— Time,
He—I must break off my engage-
ment, Violet She—Why should you
do thatP He—Well, your father has
failed. How can he support a son-in-
law in the style in which 1 havo lived?
She—Why, you goose, he failed on
purpose to meet the extra expeusel—
Harper's Bazar.
Mr. De Masher (to pretty barmaid
at refreshment counter)—Aw, miss,
would you—aw—^ive me—aw—one of
those—aw—dog biscuits? Pretty bar-
maid (giving him oatmeal biscuit)—
Here's the dog biscuit Take it on the
mat and eat it (Collapse of De Mash-
er.)—London Fun.
What was the occasion of Napole-
on's final and greatest repulse?" asked
the teacher. And the boy at the foot
of the class, who had been traveling
with his father all summer, said he
supposed it was when he asked the
clerk to give him an outside room on
the parlor floor.—Burdctte.
Mrs. Suburb (reading)—The really
efficient laborer, says Thoreau, will be
found not to unduly crowd his day
with work, but will sauuter to his task
surrounded by a wide halo of ease aud
leisure. Mr. Suburb — Humphl
Thoreau never lived where he had to
catch trains.—Philadelphia Hccord.
Brown—I say, Dumley, you haven't
forgotten that $10 bill you borrowed
ot me a long time ago, have youP
Dumley (in a hurt tone of voice)—
Forgotten it, my dear boyP Do you
tliiulc I'm so weak-minded as all thatP
I'd rather a mau would impugn my
sredit any day than my memory.—
Life.
Paterfamilias—"Will you be iu the
neighborhood of the gas office this
morning?" Son—"Yes, sir." "Then
I need not go around there. Just drop
in, tell them we have returned from the
country, would like to have the gas
turned on, ami get a bill Qf theamouut
consumed while it was turned off."—
Philadelphia Record.
Jinks—Say, Winks, you're a queer
duck. Here you have been raving
over Clara De Stage, the star of the
"Love and Die'' company, and yet last
night I sat behind you at the play and
heard you remark to tho lady in the
next seat that Clara De Stage was dis-
gustingly brazen aud the worstdresscd
woman you ever saw in a theatre.
Winks (quietly)—The lady next to me
was my wife.—Philadelphia Record.
Dick the ostler—Well, I alius sayd
so, an' I sez it agin, 'osses is tho most
intelligentest creatures as ever was.
Tom the porter—P'raps thou wouldn't
think so if thou'd been sarved as 1 wuz
oncet, when the •SquirttI*—iu:irG, an I
wuz aholdiu' on, reared 011 her hind-
quarters an' brought her forefoot reet
on top o' my yea. Dick—That on'y
bears out my argiment That was on'y
done in play, lau; aud the mare nicked
out the thickest part—London bun.
It is the fat gobbler that struts his
brief hour.—Judqe.
Ople Read Didn't Write Thin.
"Can you tell me the way to Jas-
fierP" The speaker was a Birming-
1am real estate agent, who was over
in Walker county prospecting last
week, a- d the query was addressed to
a tall countryman, who was leaning
against the rail fence which surrounded
his cabin.
"Which er way you'uns want er go,
down by the old mill place or up tlier
ridge roadP Say, that's or good crit-
ter you'uns ar' ridin'."
"I am in a hurry to reach Jasper;
tell me the way, please."
"Did you'uns come from Birming-
ham? What's cotton bringin' lliar
nowP"
"Can you tell me "
"Say, how's the 'lection? Bill Sykes
wer' sayin' down ter the grocery las'
nitjht that ther Yankees wer' comin' in
agin. Say, what'd you'uns give for
that 'ar critter?"
"Is this the direct road to "
"Say, you'uns hain't got the yellow
fever in Birming'am, 'ave ye?"
"My dear sir, will you kindly tell
me "
•Say, you'uns don't want 'er trade
that ar' critter? He puts me iu mind
ov er hoss I ust ter own 'fore I moved
from Blount. Does you'ns kuow 'er
feller in Birmin'am name' Si Casper,
sort o' high, long-legged feller, mar-
ried Ole Jerry Duu's gal, Sary Ann?
He's been thar gwine op er year, an'
went off from here owin' me six bits.
Say, you'uns don't know what chick-
ins ar' bringin' in Bir "
The real estate agent was gone, but
is he rode rapidly away the country-
man shouted after him, "Say! I'd like
cer trade fur that ar' critter you'uns
u' ridin'."—Birmingham Age-Herald.
Parting the If 111r.
"Ou the right, if you olease," said a
representative of the Call last evening
to a tonsorial artist who, brush and
comb in hand, was about to part his
hair on the left side of tho beau.
"All right, sir," remarked the knight
of the brush and comb; "was going to
part it on the other side from force of
habit."
"How many people part their hair
•m the right sideP"
"Should say less than one in twem
*•"
"And why do so manv part it on ti*
left sideP"
"Because," said the artist, brushing
back astray lock,"they've been brought
up to it from infancy. A mother fac-
ing her boy always holds the comb in
her right hand, and it being easiest to
comb the hair from left to right, she
parts it 00 the left. The boy when ho
grows up and is able to comb his own
hair finds tho part on that side, and
follows tho line marked out by the
mother. 1 hat's w hy the majority of
men part it on the left side.— San
Francis&> Call,
Electric Current Glrrilea fttia (jj-
llir « Secnadi*
Philadelphia scientists are ^rtpk,^
to tiud out how fast an eleiVric2|
rent travels. An experiment *ilUU™
made, probably from the Franklin k IV
stitute, by connections r ver theAtlaat I
cable to Liverpool and return. I
A recent test appeared to sho .k I
an electric current is slow as B
pared to light, being only ableto^M
over to Europe and back in somethu ■
like a second, or at the rate of 3 I
some 400.000 mile a minute i • I
light ambles along at a millfonlmiil? ■
minute gait Tho Philadelphia pou!* I
tis4s wi.o are proposing lo 9
further investigations are not s:ui9fo! ■
to give up the record to sunlight/!!! I
hope to prove that e!v ctrieal currei 8
if uot haudicapped, is the swiftereW. I
ment.
The most recent experiment wM %
tried at McGill College, Montreal. Ti 1
current was transmitted in Montre ? M
was transferred to the cable at J
Newfoundland cable station by ,Dea! I
of Thompson's mirror galvanometer L
sent across to the station at Liverpoo1' ■
and returned to Montreal by the gani' ™
method. The distance traversed, par I
ly by overhead wire and partly b I
cable, was 8,000 miles. From the tiiQ* I
the current left tho koy in Montreal j
until it returned to the receiver in ttle I
same office just one second and one- ■
twentieth of a second had olapsml; but B
the conditions were uot as good
might have been, liouco tliu further ex. ^
periment to bo made here.
The rapidity with which the current B
travels over short wires with no deiav B
indicated unlimited possibilit :<•* in ti,"6 B
direction of practical tests. Piofe
Marks of the EdUou Electric iMt
company is authority for the uMertiei
that if the globe was encircled with
continuous cable a current wou!i
travel the entire distance in atrifij
over three seconds. At this rate a car-
rent would travel to the sun, covering
the distance of 96,000,000 miles, \l
three ami a half minutes.
"In this age of science," said oneol
the gentlemen who will participate in
the experiments, "people havo ao
idea that we know so much now there
is nothing more to be discovered.
Why. we arc yet in our infancy aifar
as electricity goes. New discoveries
will yet be made, aud we will live to
see them put into practical use, which
will revolutionize the entire world.
The experiment which we are about to
make iu telegraphy is only a feeler,
which will lead to other and iuor«
startling experiments. The establish-
ment of telephone communication be-
tween the hemispheres is already bein^
seriously discussed." — PluUdclgku
Record.
The Origin of Tea. *
The tea plant grew for-endless cen-
turies in Central Asia, and the guileless
Celestials blandly assert that the drink
was invented by Chin Nong some five
thousand years ago. A poetic version
makes it sixteen hundred years ago.
and gives the following account of its ]
earliest appearance: "In the reign of
Yuen Ty in the dynasty of Tysin, an
old woman was accustomed to proceed
everv morning at daybreak to the
market-place, carrying a cup of toa in
her hand. The people bought it
eagerly, and yet from tho break of
day to the close of evening tho cup
was never exhausted. The money re-
ceived was distributed among orphans
and beggars. The people seized and
conflued her in prison. At night she
flew through the prison windows with
her little vase in her hand." If yon
care to do so you can read this story
and enjoy it in the original Chinese of ■
the "Cha Pu," or "Ancient History of 9
Tea," and will no doubt find the trans-1
iatiou exact.
Tea was not heard of in China I
again for three centuries and a half, I
when a "Fo hi" priest is said to have 1
advised its use as a medicine. In the I
ninth century, an old beggar from I
Japan took some of the seeds and 1
plants back with him to his native I
land. The Japanese relished tho new I
drink, and built at Osaka a temple to I
the memory of those who introduced I
it This temple is still standing, I
though now almost seven hundred I
years old. Gradually the people of 1
Tartary and Persia also loarned to love I
the drink, and serve it at all hours of I
the day.
The honor of introducing tho herb I
into Europe may bo considered due I
equally to the Dutch and Portuguese, j
Early in the seventeenth century tea I
became known among "persons of |
quality" in Europe, and in 1602 some |
Dutch traders carried a quantity ol a
sage (which was then used to make j
drink popular in Europe) to China. J
and by some ingenious device succeeded j
in making the almond-eyed tea-drink- '
era think it a fair exchange for an j
equal quantity of very good teu, which j
was brought homo in safety and with- I
out the loss of a single Dutchman.—
E. H. Libby, in St. Nicholas.
Western Lakes Drying Up.
The lakes in eastern Oregon, as
well as in Nevada are drying up. Iu
some instances tho water in tho lakes
is subsiding because the streams which
empty into them have been diverted
from their natural chauuels for pur-
poses of irrigation, but the continuous
drought, doubtless had much to do
with tho low stage of water in them.
The Herald, published iu the new
county of Harney, Orogon, says not
over four square miles of the original/
bed of Warner lake is now covei i!
with water, whereas in 18G.j there
was seven feet of water whero the
land is now dry, and last spring a
stack containing 400 tons of bay w is
burned on land which in 1874 was
surveyed as Warner Lake. Goo n
Lake, which once reached Lakeview,
Oregon, is now fivo miles away, aud
Malheur lake, in Harney count}*, is
eight feet lower than at any period
within the memory of the oldest in-
habitant. In this county Humboldt
lake, which some years ago compris i
a sheet of water sixteen or eighteen
miles long aud from eight (0 Iwi
miles wide, is now only a few lin es
long and perhaps a mile or two ^ ' •
The Humboldt has not discharged any
water into tho lake for several y is
aud a large area which was co\ > <1
several feet with water at one time is
now dry as any other part of the Hum-
boldt valley. It is a fact, however,
that tho lake was as low nine or re 11
years ago as it is to-day, and that five
years ago it was as high as it was ever
known to be. Immigrants in early
days who saw the Humboldt discharge
an immense volume of water into the
lake, or sink, as it was called, believed
it had a IQbtanBMD OOtlet, ' !ii thai j
idea was erroueous, as the volume of
water was reduced by evaporation, not
drainage. — Uinncmucca Silvn' " *<•
Women of slender figure will ai'eept
with pleasure the latest revival—
dresses laced at the back.
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Brown, E. E. Oklahoma Daily Times-Journal (Oklahoma City, Okla.), Vol. 2, No. 255, Ed. 1 Saturday, July 25, 1891, newspaper, July 25, 1891; Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc94328/m1/4/: accessed April 18, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.