Wheatland Weekly Watchword (Wheatland, Okla.), Vol. 3, No. 34, Ed. 1 Thursday, January 5, 1911 Page: 2 of 8
This newspaper is part of the collection entitled: Wheatland Weekly Watchword and was provided to The Gateway to Oklahoma History by the Oklahoma Historical Society.
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L_John Henry’
•'I Two Queens
By GEORGE V. HOBART
is
Mf alleged cunts war* to tbe offing.
m and1 they looked to me like ralatlvee
of Bunch. Bunch owned the country
fcoaeo I had borrowed to preaent to
ki Wars J. for juat one day; but I hadn't
. lean able to pry her iopae from the
"domicile. I had told Clara J. the two
; . demon were mr •«*•, hut the was
•till auaplcloui.
**Welir eald Clara J.. after a. pala-
fltfgewe, ’•why don’t you «o and wal-
mne four Aunt BUM?"
AntUn would be the central fig-
• we to a hot old Ume If ehe went
Where 1 wished her at that moment.
Somebody had tied both my feet to
the floor.
I had etetOna of two excited females
lambasting me with umbrellas and
1 demanding their property hack.
pfetely at a lose, I sank Into a
feeling pe bright and chipper
that a belonged fast about as
a* a knothole done la a barb
► on the pickle boat for euro,
flalltafll'.over the griddle.
J.'*, .*<* ■' ■( '' :•
sttsts tell us that when a man
every detail of his Hfe-
before him la the fractioa
rf
soring picture gag
is, without the aid of
I awoke dull J. was saying.
It would look better If I
Walt just a moment.
,l»praa off—there! Come
and w|th delightful uaantm-
chalr aroee also, clinging like
■aaloaate porous plaster to my
of a few feet of troueera, pad 1 made
a quick change of costume.
A tew minutes later I Joined her In
the parlor, where the scene was set
for my Qntob. I picked out n quiet
apqtnear the piano to die.
Uncle Peter wae enjoying every
minute of It
He hurried off to escort the visitors
to the parlor and a moment later my
own Aunt Martha bustled In.
“Are they beret" ehe asked, breath-
lessly.
"How did yon know they were com-
ing V 'Inquired Clare ’. In surprised
tones.
"How did 1 know!" exclaimed
Auntie; “why, I tent them!"
Every band was against me. The
parachute had failed to work and 1
wee dropping on the rocks.
Faintly and far away I could hear
the ambulance coming at a gallop.
Sweet spirits of ammonia, but I was
up against it!
It was plainly .evident to me that
Aunt Martha knaw the awful rela-
tives of Bunch, and that ths old lady
wae camping on my trail. Tea; there
she stood, old Aunt Nemesis, glaring
at me from behind her spectacles.
I decided to die without going over
near the piano.-
“Where are they?" I could hear
Aunt Martha asking In the earns toae
Of voice I was certain the Roman em-
peror used when just about to frame
'•p a-.flaale for a few Christians from
over thf Tiber.
“Unole Peter has gone for them; we
put them In the spare room,” Clara J.
answered.
“What! In the spare room!" gasped
Aunt Martha, collapsing In a chair
Just as Uncle Peter appeared In the
doorway, bowing low before the visit-
i Wi
mm
klri
Won Arc Very Welcome, Aunt Clixa and Cousin Julia!”
me," I cold, trying hard
__"that after making ths
he decided to tnake a monkey
Jkwe the blame thing. It
t# I eeffpotoT* get to he
' ' new thw rest
•mr
Unde Rater seme bob-
______B. talking la abort
Rfee g bottle of vteby. end
* with the chair la a
[tote the kitchen.
Pi
»!
men on the plana,” he
■ talking to them an bear
By dumb."
Mid Ctora J.. glancing an-
, to me nod then back at Uncle
__j, we she raised a warning finger
> her Ups.
"Oh. they cant hear me." the old
gentleman went on; "John, yon bet-
tor fln out and see them. They have
A card with your name written on It.
ffas an tody’s men. anyhow."
"Do they look like queens?" Clara
i. asked, uneasily.
"Well. they aren’t exactly Cteopa-
traa, hut not had. not bad!" he gur-
flfod-
. -In one older than the other r Clara
•»-**-*- ^ tenchtar;
gurely Bunch’s bunch.” I
towardly. wenderlng hew rd
> «he oeuntry with
chilr trailing along behind.
rMto
Julia. Hr
i; don’t yon. Jobs?" Clara
be reedy to wt*
e little while."
•%*ssnx^^:
the spare room and say that
lbs tod flsntlssahn eyed me euepi-
toemetr and retired wttheut n word.
TtoefiruldUMloPUter found it b«H
‘r* '»v
fit too
tog knife ClaraJLjemeved nil to
era, who toaBted clumsily into the par
tor’ .
For tome reason or other Clara J.
omitted the formality of springing for-
ward and greeting my relatives effu
stvely, m she simply said, “You are
very welcome, Aant Ellas and' Cousin
Julia!"
"Oraat heavens! what does this
mean?" shrieked Aunt Martha. "It
eaaaot he possible that these two
women are relatives of yours, John!
Why, I engaged them both to an In
tolligenea offlee; one tor tha kitchsa,
too"Other m parlor maid!"
“Bure not!" I chirped, to Joy-frtght-
raed accents, an 1 grasped toe gtorl
one situation. "They aren’t my rela-
tives and never were. The more I
look at thorn too more convinced I am
that there’s no room for them to perch
on my family tree. I disown them
both. Back to the woods with the
Swede Impostors!”
1 win by an eyelash.
I was so happy I went over to the
mantel and began to bite the bric-a-
brac.
Clara J. didn’t know whether to
tough or cry, so she compromised by
giggling at Unde Peter, who eat on
the piano stool whirling himself
around rapidly and muttering, “say
kind of exercise Is good exercise."
Aunt Martha stared around the
room from one to another In speech-
lees amassment, while the two Inno-
cent causes to all the trouble stood
motionless, with their noses Up-tilted
to the celling.
PreseoUy Aunt Martha broke the
spell Juat m I was about to eat a cut-
glass vase to’the gladness of my
heart.
“Oo to the kitchen!" she eald. sharp-
ly to too newcomers, whereupon they
both turned In unison tod looked the
tod lady all over. Finally they decid-
ed to discharge Aunt Martha, for the
oldest member to toe troupe folded
her arms detotovety and eald. “Sure,
It ain’t to any lunatic asylum I’ll be
aftoer Uvto’, bless to’ Mists! If yes
havo a atasibie moment left In your
bead win yes give us to’ carfare back
to to* city, and It’ll be a biassed hour
for mo whta I plaits mo feet on to*
Unde Peter checked the fiery cootso
of tne piano stool and began to make
hie double cbtn do a gurgla. where-
upon the youngest of the two tomato
Impersonators banded him a glare that
pnt out his chuckle and ha started the
piano stool again at the rate of fortp
five revolutions per minuto.
"Th* ould buffalo over there Obowtol
us up to th* spare room, thlnktn* to bo
funny," she who was fated never to
be our cook, went oa, “and If I wasn’t
In a daffy bouse and him nothin* but a
bug It’s tbe weight of that chair he’d
feel over his bald spot. Th* ould
goosebead, to set us down' on to’
poreh and talk to ua for an hour about
th* landscape and th’ atmusphere, and
to ask me, a respectable lady, what
kind of exercise I was partial to! It’s
blven’s own blessin* I didn’t hand him
a poke In th’ slats, so It Is!"
Uncle Peter, with palpably assumed
Indifference, slid off the piano stool
<td faded behind tbe furthermost win-
dow curtain, while I went up to tbe
belligerent visitor and said, “On your
way, Gtsraonda; the referee gives the
light to you; bere’a tbe gate receipts!”
With this I handed her a ten-spot,
wbtcb sbe looked at suspiciously and
said, “If ever I get that ould potato
pounder over in New York It’s exer-
cise I’ll give him. Sure, I’ll run him
from tb’ bat’bry to Harlem without a
sbtop for meals, bad cess to him!”
Having delivered this parting knock
to Uncle Peter, the queen of the
kitchen flounced out of the house, fol-
lowed by the younger one, who had
played onl" a thinking part to the
strenuous scene.
Aunt Martha atill sat motionless In
the chair, quite on the verge of tears,
when Clara J. went over to her and
aaid, “Why didn’t yoy tell me you
wore going after servants, auntie?’’
“1 wanted to surprise you." the otd
lady replied, plaintively. “They were
to be my contribution to the house-
hold." -
“You handed no a surprise, all right,
didn’t she, Uncle Pc ter V I chirped in
with a view to laughing off the whole
affair, but juat then a aeries of start-
ling shrieks caused us all to rush for
the plazxa.
At the gate we beheld a kicking,
struggling mus of lingerie and bad
dialect, which presently resolved Itself
Into the forme of my temporary rela-
tives, who were now busily engaged
In macadamising tha roadway with
their heads.
Then Tacks came yelling on the
scene: “I thought maybe they was fe-
male burglan, so 1 stretched a wire
scrost the gate and they was In such
a hurry getting away that they never
noticed it till It was too everlastingly
late!”
Before we could remonstrate with
the Boy-Disaster he let another whoop
out of him and darted off In the direc-
tion of the barn.
That whoop brought the twe wire
tappers to their feet, and after they
both ebook them flats eagerly In our
direction they started In frenzied*
haste for the depot.
As they scurried frantically out of
our neighborhood Uncle Peter smiled
blandly and murmured: "For lectur-
ers, female reformers and all those
who lead a sedentary life there’s noth-
ing like exercise!"
Putting my arm around Clara J.’s
waist, I whispered, “Didn’t I tell you
it wae one of Bunch’s put-np jobs?
He’s jealous because I’m so happy out
here with you, that’s all! Aa for the
telegram, forget It!"
“All right, John.” eald Clara J.. “but
nevertheless that same telegram gave
you a busy day, didn’t It?"
“It surely did, but It was only be-
cause I hated to have you worried," I
answered, as she went In the house to
console Aunt Martha.
I aat down In a chair, expecting ev-
ery moment to have the Prince of Li-
ars come up end eongratulate me.
Humming a tune quietly to hlmaelf.
Uncle Peter watched the flying squad-
ron disappear In n bend of the road,
then he Mt down near me and said.
“John, you’re worried about something
and I've a pretty fair Idea vhat It le.
This property Is too big a load for you
to carry, ehr*
From the depths of my heart I re-
plied. "It certainly la.”
“Well,” said the old gentleman, "It
surely has made n hit with me. I
never struck a place I liked half as
well as this. How would you like to
sell It to me. then you and Clara J.
could live witn us. eh? Come on, now,
what d’ye My?”
1 sat there utterly unable to My
anything.
"What did it cost you; come on.
uow, John?" the old fellow urged.
"Oh, about $14,000,” I whispered,
nicking out the first figure I could
think of.
"It’s worth It and more, too," be
said. "I'll give you $20,000 for It—eay
the word!”
“Well, If you Insist!" I replied,
weakly; and tbe next minute he
deuced off to write me a check.
In tbe tar barrel every time I
opened my moutb! Hard luck was
certainly putting the wrapping papei
all over me.
Well, the only thing to do now was
to hustle up to town In the morning
and Inform Bunch that I had sold hla
property.
1 felt sure he’d be tickled to a stand-
still—not!
(Copyright by Q. W. Dillingham Co.)
MOTT
AND
NfUANKJ
"P
m
LOCKING PINCER IS LATEST
Little Tool That Looks When Cloned
Requires Considerable Fores to
Open Just Invented.
A pair of pincers that lock when
they are cloaad and that require
considerable force to open have
been Invented by a California man.
and men who use pincers that need
a tight grip will appreciate the
Implement. The jaws are locked
by dovetail tongues that enter
sockets at their Inner ends. Nor la
TEMPERED COPPER PUZZLES
Excavations In Babylon Territory Re-
vives Old Problem- Jewelry
6,000 Yearn Old.
Locking Pincers.
this tool only to be used as pincers.
On either side of tbe Jaws are a
hammer end punch, and the divi-
ders are removably attached and are
held In place by thumb screws so
that they can be taken out at any
time when they are likely to be
bent by the work to which tbe
tool la being used or to scratch the
user. Midway up the handle, too,
to the rule by which the spacing
of the dividers can be regulated.
Going back to the plncera It should
be mentioned that their Jawc are
eo curved that when closed they
surround a circular opening by
means of which pipes or other
round bodies may he accommodated,
though, of course, the Jaws will
not lock If they do not meet at the
outer ends.
archaeological Investiga-
tions la the Babylon territory have
been made In the lowest stratum of
the ruins to several ancient ctttoa,
notably Nippur, Blamya and Telloh.
and with tbe excavations the old pus-
sle of tempered copper has once more
been brought to the attention of stu-
dents and workers In metal. The Im-
plements which were found and the
jewelry are about $.600 years old, and
juat three metals seem to have been
known at that time—sliver, rare gold
In abundance, end copper for all prac-
tical as well as ornamental purposes.
Bronze was quite unknbwn, tout the
remarkable part of tbe copper Imple-
ments Is that they seemed to be so
tempered and hardened that the jewel
cutters and cameo engravers were
able to cut the hardest substances as
delicately and Intricately as a modern
artisan can with all hla appliances. A
careful analyxatlon of the copper
<ools gives no evidence of fin alloy,
and the lost process remains a mys-
tery to moderns.
The Jewelry discovered. Including
gold filled hair pins, necklaces and
numerous beads, copper rings of all
sorts, and pins and gold rosets set
with stones, to beautifully designed
and proves that the smiths of that
most remote age were skilful and ar-
tistic workers.
Even such Implements as scythes
and other Implements of agriculture
as well as wsapons have been found
made of pure copper and hardenad to
wear and cut like steel.
HORnilE RELIEVED MW-THE
6REAT KIDNEY REMEDY RE-
HOPES TD HEALTH
Bar toe peat few years I suffered gm*'
!y frees whet three phyrieiens eaUed pse-
ralgia to too stomach. Tha doctors tetab
ed aae withset any success end I esBsd to
• fourth doctor, who pronounced my die-
ts se call stones. I suffered intense pern
and toe only relief the doctor could give
me was by injections of morphine. I wee
eo completely diecouragsd that I W
moot given up hope when a neighbor »»
ms scout Dr. Kilmer’s Bwamp-RooL I
decided to try it sad begsa its use at
once end after taking nine bottles was
completely cured, not having a spaa to
eiclnieta in over two yean. _
I have so much confidence in Swamp-
Root that I never fail to recommend it to
my friends who may have kidney trouble
to any kind. I feel certain that Dr. Kir
mar’s Fv.anip-Bovt eared my life, why
ahoy,'1 !*■ not do likewise for others arh»
take i *imc? »
Yo liberty to use U*to totoimony
at any time.
Yours truly,
MRS. ELLA HENRY,
$16 Schaefer Am
Kansas City, to
Stats to Missouri I ^
County of Jackson J
On this 2Sth day of July, A. D.
personally appeared before me, a Notary
Public within and for said County and
Bute, Mrs. Ella Henry, who subscribed
the above sUtemcnt end mads oath that
the same is true. ..
HENRY C. EMERY.
Notary Pubue.
COT FOR TRAVELING INFANT
Can Be Hung Over Baek of Car Seat-
Permits Child to Sleep In
Peace and Comfort.
The problem with wbat to do with
baby on a long railroad ride has been
solved by a California man. He has
devised a collapsible cot, which can
be hung on the back of the seat in
front and in which the child can sleep
in peace and comfort—for himself, hla
parents and the other passengers. This
cot or berth consists of a bottom to
ATTACH WHEELS TO SLEIGH
Conveyance That Is Handy When One’
Is Caught Miles Prom Home After
•new le Melted.
Any person who has been sleighing
ep to the eleventh hour and got caught
mtlea from home after the snow had
melted will appreciate the Invention of
a Minnesota man here described. This
Invention Is nothing less than .a wheel
attachment for slelgla which enables
the driver to get home without difficul-
ty, even If the snow la all gone. Two
pairs of wheels are attached to the
body of the sleigh, with the front and
rear crank ax'es mounted on pivots. -A
m
Sleigh With Wheels.
Bar running through the two axles to
adjustably connected to the rear sup-
port of the elelgh body. A strong
spring keeps the wheels clear of the
ground when they are not In use, but
when needed they are let down, and
the connecting bar locked so that the
sleigh rests on the wheels and lue run-
ners are several Inches above the
ground. It takes only a few mlnutea
to make the change and the vehicle
may be used comfortably In placet
where the conditions of the road vary.
Utilise Manufacturing Wasts.
To utilise manufacturing waste Is In
tome cases a serious problem, and a
committee of the American Chemical
society, under the chairmanship of G.
A1 emu, Swarthmore, Pa., haa under-
taken n solution. Manufacturers are
to report tbe waste available. Each
kind will be given scientific Investiga-
tion. end it to expected that materials
hitherto lost will become economical
new sources to chemical elements and
to various profitable new products.
As Usual.
"Are you proud of your daughter’s
education slues she graduated?"
"Yes. but she le horribly ashamed
to mine."
Oldnt Worry Him.
Pat—Do you know. It to oabMlthy
for animals u> live, with you. Mike?
Mike—Share. I never heard was n
Mm eemrtala.—Jedee
Non-Inflammable Celluloid.
A nonin flammable celluloid has
boon patented by Prof. A. Gautier.
The chief feature to the process to
Re employment of an ether silicate
Instead of pure ether, which to or-
i inertly used with alcohol as the
»o vent la tho agglutination to nitro-
cellulose fibers by means to soar
bttorU
Sr, Sltarr * Ck
SMtarin, Mt V.
Infant’s Traveling Cot.
support a tiny mattress and binged
sides to fo'd down upon It when not In
use and open up for supports when the
cot to In use. Around the whole affair
goes a metal hanger frame, from
which arise two U-shaped hooks, which
hook over the back of the seat ahead
and support the little berth without In-
terfering with’the occupants of the for-
ward seat. As this article takes up
little room when folded, it will be
found a blessing by mothers who have
to take Infants on long trips, as It can
be adjusted In a few moments and the
little one allowed to take hla rest with-
out encumbering his parent
Prove What Swamp-Root Will Do For You
Send to Dr. Kilmer & Co., Bingham-
ton, N. Y., for a sample bottle. It wifi
convince anyone. You will also receive
a booklet of valuable information, telling
all about the kidneys and bladder. When
writing, be sure and mention this paper.
For sale at all drug stores. Price fifty-
can ts and one-dolhur.
His Specialty.
“Wbat has become of young Mr.
D’Auber. who showed such signs of
talent In drawing? Has he made a
success?”
“Oh, yes, Indeed. He’s got all the
work he can do now."
"Magazine or studio work?”
“He draws the maltese cross shew-
ing where the body was found, in thw
evening papers.’’—Cleveland Leader.
Same Thing.
Joakley—You’re right; moat people
worry over what they haven’t got.
but I know certain people who worry
because of what they have.
Coakley—That so? What have they?
Joakley—Nothing. — Tbe Catholic
Standard and Times.
Some people would drown with a life
preserver at hand. They are the kind
that suffer from Rheumatism and Neural-
gia when they can get Hamlins Wizard
Oil, the best of all pain remedies.
The life of a man constats not la
seeing visions, and in dreaming
dreams, but In active charity and
willing service.—Longfellow.
Quick as Wink.
If TOUT eyes acb“ knew-
In* sensation n«> I’KTnT’S Evv s (T,VJ.
An druggists or Howard Bros.,Buffalo,N.Y.
The wealth of a man Is the number
of things which he loves and blesses,
which he Is loved and blessed by.—
Carlyle.
Constipation causes and aggravate* many
serious diseafe*. It is thoroughly cured by
Dr. Pierce’* Pleasant Pellet*. The favor-
ite family laxative.
It would be easier to see good in
others If we didn’t have so many
faults of our own.
DOtVT SPOII, TOUR CLOTHES.
Use Red Cross Ball Blue and keep them
white as anow. All grocers, Sc a package.
To add a library to a house to to
give that house a soul.—Cicero.
INDUSTRIAL
MECHANICAL
m NOTES BE
More than two miles of silk fre-
quently are taken from a single co-
coon.
The United 8tates fishing Industry
employed 226.119 persons at last re-
port.
A species of stiff gras*, which grows
abundantly In India, to used for sticks
In making matches In that country.
Ivory mav be bleached In a bath of
unslacked lime, bran and water, after
whicb it should be rubbed with a dry
sawdust.
The world’s product of gold since
the discovery of America to estimated
at $130,000,000,000.
Nearly 600,000 cycles are manufac-
tured In the United Kingdom In the
course of a year.
Cork. If sunk 200 feet deep In the
ocean, will not rite, on account of the
pressure of the water.
Alaska's gold output last year, ac-
cording to geological survey figures,
was worth $20,462,000, the largest yield
Since 1906, the record year.
The English inventors of a new alloy
claim It to but Uttle heavier than alumi-
num, but as strong aa steel, and that
19 can bo rolled, drawn, stomped, ex-
panded or forged.
Timber to protected from dry rot
sad Insect attacks by boiling It and
allowing It to cool In and absorb a
saccharine solution by a new process
that eomes from Australia.
Ball bearings for street car axles
are being tried out by a big car build-
ing concern.
More coal to mined per person em-
ployed la the United States than la
any other cation, with Australia raak-
lig next.
or Ailing?
Lewie’ Single Binder straight 6c cigar
is aaade to satisfy the emoker.
It takes more than a stinging vo-
vocabulary \o make a prophet
Are You Sick
Hood’s Sarsapa-
rilla haa genuine
curative powers, peculiarly adapted to
restore health and strength in Just
such a condition as you are up agalnsL
It has been doing this for more than
a third of a century. Its legions to
benefited friends telling of health re-
stored, sufferings ended, are found
everywhere. Give It a chance to help
you out by getting a bottle today.
Bad Taste
in your mouth removed while
you wait—that's true. A Cat-
caret taken when the tongue is
thick - coated with die nasty
squeamish feeling in stomach,
brings relief! It’s easy, natural
way to help nature help you. no
CASCAKBTO—mc boa—week’s treat-
meat. Alldraggiets Knew seller
to toe world. Millioa bonsai
AIJLEirlSU^*
iist.ruUUm
\j
<y
life.'
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Browne, T. Wheatland Weekly Watchword (Wheatland, Okla.), Vol. 3, No. 34, Ed. 1 Thursday, January 5, 1911, newspaper, January 5, 1911; Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc936740/m1/2/: accessed April 24, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.