Capitol Hill News. (Capitol Hill, Okla.), Vol. 2, No. 43, Ed. 1 Thursday, June 27, 1907 Page: 3 of 8
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BLAMED POOR PUSS EXAMpLt of true chivalry.
INDIGNANT DINER JUMPED AT
Crimalkin, Victim of Facetious Wait-
er’s Joke Gave Acrobatic Display
For Amusement of Patrons
A little German restaurant run in
connection with a bar in East Twen-
tieth street has a frolicsome waiter
who habitually provides much amuse-
ment. for the patrons, says the New
York Press. A few nights ago the
Maltese cat belonging to the house
was sitting on the knee of a man who
was eating his dinner, with his face
buried behind a newspaper. It was
too peaceful a scene for the waiter to
FLm his pocket he drew a huge
rubber band, and winked at the
patrons at nearby tables. All paused
to watch what would follow, for the
waiter’s prowess as a marksman with
rubber bands was well known. One
evening he had won a bet that he
could put out a gas jet across the
room at his first shot with a rubber
Directly opposite where the man sat
with the cat on his knee was a door
leading into the room reserved for
the restaurant's women patrons.
Emile—that’s the waiter’s name—took
up a position in the other room that
would enable him to dodge out of
sight as soon as he let drive. The
eagerly expectant neighbors of the un-
suspecting victim of the coming
“joke” could not see him shoot, but
they observed the results.
The thick rubber band suddenly
caught poor puss square in the jowl,
and with a fearsome howl of fright
and pain she leaped into the air and
came down a hissing, spitting, clawing
ball of animated fur plump upon the
newspaper the quiet diner was hold-
ing before his face. In its abrupt
agility his leap fully equaled the cat’s.
His chair went over behind him, and
the little round table all but went
over in front of him, his glass of beer
upsetting and rolling to the floor.
From his breast the cat ricochetted,
so to speak, to the top of the table,
and knocked off a dish or two in her
frenzied scramble to get to the floor
and escape. The commotion caused
all the patrons at the far ends of the
room to stand up, and the proprietor
came hurrying over from behind the
bar. It was then that Emile walked
out from the kitchen as innocently as
“What's the matter, Mr. Zimmer-
man?” he asked with an air of great
“Matter!” exclaimed the indignant
diner. “Why the plaguey cat had a
Practicing on Ministers.
"I counted seven girls taking- down
my blrmon in shorthand this morn-
ing,” said a suburban minister. “I
am getting tired of this business of
turning church into school. It is a
desecration of the Sabbath and of the
sanctuary, and it gets worse year by
“When the thing first began, I ad-
mit that I was flattered. I thought
the solitary shorthand writer in my
front pew was a leporter. I took un-
usual pains that morning, and I
searched all the newspapers the next
day. In vain, of course. The short-
hand writer was merely a student of
stenography, using me to practice on.
“Students of stenography should
practice on actors and on lecturers,
but no—that would cost money. Noth-
ing suits them but ministers, and
every Sunday, all ovet our land,
yuung men and women, with their
pads and fountain pens, go to church
solely to improve their shorthand.”
Modern Lover Proves Himself Equal
to Heroes of the Past.
There was a moment of profound
silence. He was the first to speak.
“You are richer than I am,” he fal-
tered, with emotion.
She bowed her head, replying noth-
ing. But now the true nobility of his
acter manifested itself.
Yet for all that I am no better
than you are!” he cried, and folded
her to his breast.
And when, her conscience accusing
her, she tried to tell him that not
only her father but four of her uncles
were Pittsburg millionaires, he sealed
her lips with kisses, and would hear
With a Proviso.
“When universal peace i3 finally es-
tablished,” said Alfred H. Love, the
president of the Universal Peace un-
ion, in an interview in Philadelphia,
“then many a man who now ridicules
tli« peace movement will claim to
have been its lifelong champion. It
is always so. We thump and kick a
poor, weak, struggling movement at
its inception, and when it has succeed-
ed and no longer needs our help, we
give it the most solicitous support.
There was once a young lady whose
betrothed, a very poor young man,
was about to set out for South Ameri-
ca to seek his fortune in the rubber
trade. As he took his leave of her the
night before his departure, .he said,
tremulously: ‘And you swear to be
true to me, Irene?’ ‘Yes, Heber,’ cried
the girl; ‘yes—if you’re successful.’”
TREATMENT INDUCED A CHILL.
Dangerous Baltic Sea.
The wreck record of the Baltic sea
is greater than that of any other part
of the world. The average is one a
day throughout the rear.
Remedy Given In Hospital Tent Must
Have Been Pleasant.
The captain tells a story which runs
something like this: In camp one
morning the first sergeant reported
that Private B- had a chill. “Is it
a serious one?” asked the captain.
"W«il, sir, I don’t Rnow just how seri-
ous it is, but it’s a big one, for it
seems to be all over him, and he
weighs 200 pounds. On seeing him
the captain found him looking rather
blue, and instructed the first sergeant
to send him to the surgeon in charge
of a corporal.
Soon after breakfast the captain
saw the corporal and asked him how
the man was getting on. “Oh, he's
all right now,” was the reply, "I took
him up to tlie hospital tent, and when
I saw what kind of medicine the doo-
or gave him I had a chill too.”—Army
and Nuvy Life.
THOUGHT CHILD Vv-ULD DIE.
IS OFTEN PREVENTED BY DR.
WILLIAMS’ PINK PILLS.
Histcric Island for Gale.
Raasay island, in the Inner Heb-
rides, which lies between the main-
land of Scotland and the Isle of Skye,
has failed to find a purchaser at the
upset price of $225,000 placed upon it.
Its name is the Scandinavian for “the
place of the roe deer,” and the shoot-
ings, with the mansion house and
grounds at the southern end, consti
tute the chief value of the island.
Near the northern end are the ruins
of Brochel castle, the residence of its
ancient lairds, the Macl^ods. In
coltic lore Raasay has a place and in
England literature it is mentioned in
Samuel Johnson's “Journey to the
Western Islands of Scotland.”
Teaching the Young Idea.
The United States has 260,000 school
buildings, in which 460,000 teachers
are at work teaching nearly 18,000,000
DOCTOR’S FOOD TALK
Selection of Food One of the Most im-
portant Acts in tife.
A Mass, doctor says: “Our health
and physical and mental happiness
are so largely under our personal con-
trol that the proper selection of food
should be, and is one of the most im-
portant acts in life.
“On this subject, I may say that I
know of no food equal in digestibility,
and more powerful in point of nutri-
ment, than the modern Grape-Nuts,
four heaping teaspoons of which is suf-
ficient for t>’ jereal part of a meal,
and experience demonstrates that the
user is perfectly nourished from one
meal to another.
“I am convinced that the extensive
and general use of high class foods of
this character would increase the term
of human life, add to the sum total of
happiness and very considerably im-
prove society in general. I am free to
mention the food, for I personally
know of its value.”
Grape-Nuts food can be used by
babes in arms, or adults. It is ready
cooked, can he served instantly,
either cold with cream, or with hot
water or hot milk poured over. All
sorts of puddings and fancy dishes can
he fnade with Grape-Nuts. The food
is concentrated and very economical,
for four heaping teaspoons are suffi-
cient for the cereal part cf a meal.
Read the little book, “The Itoad to
Wellvllle,” in pkgs. “There’s a. Rea-
Whole Body Covered with Cuban Itch
—Cuticura Remedies Cured at Cost
of Seventy-Five Cents.
“My little boy, when only an infant
of three months, caught, the Quban
Itch. Sores broke out from his head
to the bottom of his feet. He would
itch and claw himself and cry all the
time. He could not sleep day or night,
and a light dress is all he could wear.
I called one of our best doctors to
treat him, but he seemed to get worse.
He suffered so terribly that my hus-
band said he believed he would have
to die. I had almost given up hope
when a lady friend told me to try the
Cuticura Remedies. I used the Cutt-
cura Soap and applied the Cuticura
Ointment and he at once fell into a
sleep, and he slept with ease for the
first time since two months. After
three applications the sores began to
dry up, and in just two weeks from the
day I commenced to use the Cuticura
Remedies my baby was entirely well.
The treatment only cost me 75c, and I
would have gladly paid $100 if I could
not have got it cheaper. I feel safe in
saying that the Cuticura Remedies
saved his life. He is now a boy of five
years. Mrs. Zana Miller, Union City,
R. F. D. No. 1, Branch Co., Mich., May
Taken When the First Warning Symp-
toms Are Noticed Much Needless
Suffering May Be Saved.
Are you troubled with pallor, loss of
spirits, waves of heat passing over the
body, shortness of breath after slight
exertion, a peculiar skipping of the
heart boat, poor digestion, cold extremi-
ties or a feeling of weight and fullness?
Do not make the mistake of thinking
that these are diseases in themselves
and be satisfied with temporary relief.
This is the vyay the nerves givo warn-
ing that they aro breaking dowu. It
simply means that the blood lias become
impure and cannot carry enough nourish-
ment to the nerves to keep them healthy
and able to do their work.
Rest, alone, will sometimes give the .
needed relief. The tonic treatment by
Dr. Williams’ Pink Pills, however, pre-
vents the final breakdown of the nerves
and the more serious diseases which
follow, because the pills aid, directly
upon the impure blood, making it rich,
red and pure.
Mrs. E. 0. Bradley, of 103 Parsells
avenue, Rochester, N. Y., says:
‘‘I was never very healthy and some
years ago, when in a run-down condi-
tion, I suffered a nervous shock, caused
by a misfortune to a friend. It was so
great that I was unfitted for work.
“ I was just weak, low-spirited and
nervous. I could hardly walk and could
not bear the least noise. My appetite
was poor aud I did not care for food. 1
couldn’t sleep well and ouoo for two
weeks got scarcely an hour's sleep. ]
had severe headaches most of the tim«
aud pains in the back and spine.
“ I was treated by two doctors, being
under the care of ono of them for six
months. I got no relief and then de-
cided to try Dr. Williams’ Pink Pills. 1
soon began to feel better and the im
provement was general. My appetite
became hearty and my sleep better.
The headaches all left and also the pains
in my back. A few more boxes entirely
cured me and I was able to go back tc
work. I felt splendid and as though I
had never been sick.”
Dr. Williams’ Pink Pills are invaluable
in such diseases as rheumatism, after-
effects of the grip and fevers, neuralgia,
St. Vitus’ dance and even partial
paralysis and locomotor ataxia.
Dr. Williams’ Pink Pills aro sold by
all druggists, or will be sent, postpaid,
on receipt of price, 50 cents per box, six
boxes for $2.50, by the Dr. Williams
: Medicine Company, Schenectady, N. Y,
Country of Little Moisture.
Twenty minutes of rain in a year is
sometimes all that southern Egypt
gets, and there is no dew in that
To prevent that tired feeling on
ironing day—Use Defiance Starch—
saves time—eaves labor—saves annoy-
ance, will not stick to the iron. The
big 16 ox. package for 10c, at your
FOR SICK WOMEN
a more potent remedy in the roots
and herbs of the field than was ever
produced from drugs.
In the good old-fashioned days of
our grandmothers few drugs were
used in medicines and Lydia E.
Pinkham, of Lynn, Mass., in her
study of roots and herbs and their
power over disease discovered and
gave to the women of the world a
remedy for their peculiar ills more
potent and efficacious than any
combination of drugs.
Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound
is an honest, tried and true remedy of unquestionable therapeutic value.
During its record of more than thirty years, its long list of actual
cures of those serious ills peculiar to women, entitles Lydia E. Pinkham s
Vegetable Compound to the respect and confidence of every fair minded
person and every thinking woman.
When women are troubled with irregular or painful functions,
weakness, displacements, ulceration or inflammation, ba^ckache,
flatulency, general debility, indigestion or nervous prostration, they
should remember there is one tried and true remedy, Lydia E. Pink-
ham’s Vegetable Compound.
No other nedy in the country has such a record of cures of
female ill®, a. '■’ onsands of women residing in every part of the United
States bear wuinig testimony to the wonderful virtue of Lydia E. Pink-
ham’s Vegetable compound and what it has done for them.
Mrs. Pinkham invites all sick women to write her for advice. She has
guided thousands to health. For twenty-five years she has been advising
sick women free of charge. She is the daughter-in-law of Lydia E^ I ink-
ham and as her assistant for years before her decease advised under her
immediate direction. Address, Lynn, Mass.
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Jackson, S. M. Capitol Hill News. (Capitol Hill, Okla.), Vol. 2, No. 43, Ed. 1 Thursday, June 27, 1907, newspaper, June 27, 1907; Capitol Hill, Oklahoma. (gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc936529/m1/3/: accessed August 22, 2018), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.