Chandler Daily Publicist. (Chandler, Okla. Terr.), Vol. 3, No. 138, Ed. 1 Saturday, September 10, 1904 Page: 6 of 8
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UP ON FOREIGN RELATIONE.
BISMARCK AND THE KAISER.
Content is something you think
other people have when they haven t.
A negro recently fell seventy feet in
New York and lost neither his life nor
Some men find It more difficult to
get divorced from their illusions than
from their wives.
Georgia lias a town called Shake
Rag, whose citizens, however, are said
to be no great shakes.
Viewed through the smoke of his
)iookah, all battleships look much
ullke to Sultan Abdul Hamid.
Krupp's gun works are now working
overtime, and peace is still looking
(u vain for the proverbial "balm."
Holland's new airship may cost lint
fit), but it is likely to cost somebody
ills life hi fore we hear the last of it.
A man drank nine quarts of whisky
I nd died. Even the temperance folks
IniiSt admit that rum hus some value.
A New York society man has been
fined for swearing. Still, the tailor
may have given him great provoca-
That Iloston society leader who lias
taken up the blacksmith’s trade is go-
ing to get on the black list if he isn't
A western expert on alcoholism
claims that the reason so many men
fail to walk straight is that they can't
The czar's edict abolishing whip
ping in Ills domains will interest the
heir apparent when he arrives at the
In Georgia the catfish have taken
to swallowing rattlesnakes. The water
must lie almost as bud up there us it
Is In Kentucky.
Squabs have advanced to $5 a dozen
In New York, but the old familiar
political squabble may still be had
upon most any terms.
Russia claims that flour is contra-
band of war, and will do all in her
power to dlscourago the liot-biscuit
habit within her borders.
The reappearance of the kissing bug
at the seaside resorts is taken tc
mean that the sea serpent story if
not good form this year.
In Philadelphia an actress killed
herself sooner than marry. Death lasts
u great deal longer, though, tliuu the
average theatrical marriage.
If King Edward were to meet the
emperor of the Hottentots would he
wear the uniform of a Hottentot ad-
miral as a mark of courtesy.
Love Is the greatest thing In the
world, but it lias its drawbacks when
the loved one pawns your jewels
without notifying you in advance.
Marie Dressier, the actress, has
adopted one of those “Incubator ba-
ilies;'* and her press agent will now
have something substantial to work
The now Holland flying machine
costs but $10. (Had to see these little
modern conveniences gradually get
ting down to within $9.99 of their
A suit against Armour for $1,200,-
000 is said to be a friendly action. The
average man would take It as un-
friendly, to say the least, to be sued
for a million.
An irreverent contemporary de-
scribes society as “moving along to-
ward Saratoga." Those poker chips
and "Saratoga chips” will soon be
moving along also.
The birth of the czar’s son is expect-
ed to weaken the Influence of Pobyed-
onostseff. That will mean something
worth while if the boy never does any-
thing else of importance.
Croesus, the multi-millionaire of an-
tiquity, is said by scholars never to
have laughed. Probably made the peo-
ple “laugh out of the other side of
their mouths," though.
The young Russian Alexis has al-
ready been made an honorary colonel,
but this will naturally cause his royal
mother less anxiety about him than
if he were serving in the navy.
News that a citizen of Rochester
has died at the age of 101 lacks com-
pleteness. The public does not know
whether his length of years was due
to tobacco and alcohol or to absti
Once a boyhood friend visited Ros-
toe Conkling when a law student.
Meeting a supercilious reception when
ho asked, "Studying to ’>e a lawyer,
Iloscoe?" lie retorted, "Y'ou ought to
study to be a supreme court justice!"
He meant it for a sneer, but that's the
way every law student ought to study.
No one can blame Europeans for
believing that all Americans are rich.
A Boston woman left a quart of dia-
monds In a Iamdon hotel and wired
back to the proprietor to "keep them
until 1 come over again next summer."
Congressman Hitt 8a!d to Bo Best In-
formed Man In Country.
Congressman Robert R. Hitt of
Mount Morris, Illinois, is believed to
be the best Informed man in the coun-
try regarding the government'* for-
eign relations, Secretaries Hay and
Adee may know more about diplomat-
ic niceties, but Robert Hitt had a long
career In the foreign service of this
nation, is a linguist and the best read
man in congress. His home on K
street, Washington, is a wonder shop
of rare book* and manuscripts. Not
an incident has occurred in the his-
tory of the United States that he can-
not clarify by producing original in-
formation concerning It. He began
his career as a reporter in Chicago
and distinguished himself by taking in
stenography the debates between
Douglas and Lincoln. When Lincoln
was elected he was sent abroad as a
secretary of legation.
- Story Has It That Last Words Ex-
changed Were In English.
T. P. O’Connor's London weekly, M.
I A. P., learns "from an old diplomat"
| that the last words of the last inter-
view between the German emperor
and the late Prince Bismarck wore
spoken in English. When the rupture
between the two appeared to be Anal
the Iron chancellor went to the palace
to resign his seals of office. The su-
preme moment arrived and the chan-
cellor thought that by tact and con-
summate diplomacy he might even yet
succeed In bending “that young man"
—as he afterward bitterly called him
—to his iron will. The sovereign and
his minister had, of course, conversed
In German. But when all was over
Bismarck said in a changed voice—
and In English: “Then I am in your
way, sir?" And the German emperor
answered In one word: “Yes.”
DEAN OF CONSULS IN CHINA.
RECALLS ASTOR PLACE RIOTS
r; ~ rr'-' sr
The dean of the foreign consuls at
Shanghai is John Goodnow, the Amer-
ican consul general. In the whole of
China he is the man of greatest con-
sular power. He is presiding judge of
the court of consuls. Mr. Goodnew
is a lloosier who grew up in Minne-
apolis, is a university graduato and
lias been a chemist and a merchant.
Ho was appointed by President Mc-
Kinley early in his first term.
Famous Austrian Beauty Coming.
Miss Duel Von Kuranda, the noted
Austro-Hungarian beauty, whose love-
liness has been extolled by many trav-
elers, will visit this country next win-
ter. She is but 18 years old, and al-
ready Is famed all over Europe, being
especially popular among American
naval officers who have called at Adri-
atic ports. Her father is confidential
adviser to Emperor Francis Joseph,
consul general for Servla, and director
general of a large steamship company.
The young woman is said to have a
wonderful contralto voice, and has
often sung in charitable entertain-
ments. She is also famous for her
gowns, which are always the marvel
of the season. Miss Von Kuranda
First Battle in Which Gen. Daniel E.
Sickles Was Engaged.
One of the most interesting figures
in New York Is that of Gen. Daniel E.
Sickles, the venerable one legged hero
of Gettysburg and Chancellorsville.
He cannot bo persuaded to talk about
the civil war, but occasionally will
tell about his first battle, which was
the Astor place riots in 1849. He was
a young buck in those days and he
bad apartments close to the scene of
the trouble, which was occasioned by
the rivalry between the English trage-
dian, Macready, and the American,
Edwin Forrest. Sickles likes to talk
about the theater and ho Is occasion-
ally seen around at first nights. He
remembers Patti when she was 14
years old, and ho heard Jenny Lind
when Darnmn managed her concert
tour in this country fifty-four years
Will Visit Son’s Grave.
Lord and Lady Roberts are to go
to south Africa this fall, one of the
primary objects of their journey be-
ing to visit the grave of their only
son, who was killed In Natal during
the Boer war and burled on the battle-
field. His death was uue to an act of
bravery, such as led many English
officers to death, and, perhaps, gain
the Victoria cross, which has cost tha
lives of so many British officers.
Lieut. Roberts fell while trying to sava
some guns which Buller had lost In
one of his many defeats. The young
man never knew that he had won the
most coveted English honor, but
Queen Victoria gave the simple little
cross to his mother with her own
Coincidence In Nomination.
It may surprise a good many of the
younger American citizens to learn
that there was a Davis and Parker
•presidential ticket In this country thir-
ty-two years before the present re-
verse combination appeared. In 1872
* -- TVft—C..T„
Kear-Admlral Yates Stirling.
United States Torpedo Boat Dctroyer Chnuncey.
American warship which figures in d ispatcl-.es from Shanghai, China, and
United States naval officer in command there.
speaks perfect English; Indeed, the
life of the family Is said to be strictly
American in character.
Favors Women Letter Carriers.
Women letter carriers are deemed
almost a necessity by Postmaster John
McKay of Des Moines, Iowa, who has
made a recommendation to the depart-
ment at Washington favoring the re-
moval of the ban that now limits the
civil service examination for letter
carriers to males. “When you send a
woman on an errand,” ho says, “she
will return In half the time that a
man will. She does not stop to loiter.
We find them equal and even superior
to men in the money order, stamp and
other divisions and I favor giving
them a trial in the delivery section.”
Oldest West Point Graduate,
Gen. Herman Haupt, now in his
eighty-eighth year, is the oldest living
graduate of West Point, having been
appointed at the age of 13 by Andrew
Jackson. Ho had entire charge of all
the military railroads of the federal
government in the civil war. and in
twelve hours was promoted by Stan-
ton from plain Mr. Haupt to Brigadier
General Haupt, beating all records.
He has thirty-five grandchildren and
his family connection number sixty-
Pictures Not a Necessity-
Mollie Elliot Seawell, the authoress,
must pay duty on several pictures
which she brought back with her from
her last trip to Europe. Miss Seawell
claimed free entry for tho pictures on
the ground that they were articles
necessary for her well-being and com-
fort on the journey, but the board of
general appraisers decided that they
were not included In this category.
David Davis of Illinois was nominated
for President by what was called the
labor reform party, which held its con-
vention In Columbus, O. His running
mate was Gov. Joel Parker of Con-
necticut. That was the year when
the Democratic national convention
failed to formulate a platform of its
own, but adopted the platform of the
liberal Republicans and chose as Its
presidential candidate Horace Greeley.
Senator Knew His People.
Just before his first election to tha
United States senate the late Senator
Vest went to a caucus of Missourian*
with votes. Following a competitor
who had talked three mortal hours;
Vest spoke for three minutes, con-
cluding with these words: “As for
myself, 1 have to say, with the full
knowledge that the pledge I now-
make will influence your votes to-mor-
row, that if I am elected to tne United
States senate during my entire term I
shall draw my pay regularly like a
gentleman and spend it like a thor-
oughbred.” He was elected and
served the state for twenty-four
Japan's Low Death Rate.
Clarence Ludlow Brownell, in his
recently published book on Jnpan. says
that the death rate for children is
lower In Japan than it is in Europe
and America. This is as It should be
in a country whore the houses are off
the ground a foot or two and have no
cellars and the air Insido is ns fresh
as it is out; where, too, In such places
at least ns Toklo, every one bathes
and has a gqgd scrubbing every day
From 800,00(5 to 1,000,000 persons go
to the public bs(hs of the capital daily
and there are tens of thousands of pri-
vate baths besides.
"Great guns! What terrible piano
playing! Is that the girl you said was
“What is wonderful about her?”
“Why. it is wonderful how she keeps
the neighbors from assassinating her/'
Couldn't Spare Boy.
Willie—Pa, can't you spare money
enough to buy me gun?
Pa—My son, I am going to get you
a gun when I can spare a boy, but not
A Kind Chaperon.
Tess—"My chaperon was just as
nice as she could be. She told me
while we were at the shore I must
keep Jack Huggard at a distance.”
Jess—"But 1 thought you liked
Toss—“So I do. She meant keep
him at a distance from her."
“Runnybout has a beautiful auto-
mobile suit and bat, but no auto."
"No. he is having the machine en-
ameled to match the clothes.”
Teacher—Johnnie, name a bird that is now extinct.
Johnnie—Our canary. The cat extincted him.
An Unpleasant Remin.er.
"What does Bifkins remind you
"I hate to tell.”
“Because it's a reflection on Bif-
“No. on me.”
"I don’t understand.”
“Weil, I’ll explain. Every time 1
see Bifkins he reminds me of a little
bill I’ve owed him for over a year."
Evidently Needed Teaching.
The vacation schools and the warm
weather brought an obnoxiously odor-
iferous youngster to teacher, who sent
her home to be washed.
On the returning, less aromatic, said
the youngster to the teacher:
“Me mudder wants to know if I
come here to git teached or git
smelled.”—New York Sun.
If It Was Good.
“What did Columbus do that pleased
the king?” asked the kindergarten
“He stood an egg on an end," re-
plied the smart boy.
"And what did he do then?”
The smart boy thought for a mo-
ment and then responded: “He ate the
Lots Like Him.
"He’s quite an active political work-
er, isn't he?”
“Oh. no; he has not reached that
“Why, he talks of nothing but poli-
"Yee; he's merely an active politi-
“No,” she declared, “I will never
marry any man who hasn’t grit
enough to go and ask papa for me.”
"That's all right, but you ought to
remember that your father has a weak
heart, and sudden joy has often been
known to prove fatal in such cases.”
Good News if True.
She—And are you really so much
better since you returned from your
He—Yes, indeed! I’m quite an-
other man, I assure you.
She—Well, I'm sure all your friends
will be delighted to hear It.
Art and Drama met.
"There are not so many young men
wedded to me ns formerly,” said Art.
“I suppose they could not support
you?” interrogated Drama.
"No, the trouble was I could not
Just a Slap.
Miss Knox—I think Mr. Noozey
wants to surprise you with a birthday
Miss Passay—Indeed? Why?
Miss Knox—He asked me if I knew
when your thirty-fifth birthday would
At the Seaside.
Youngpr Sister—If you don't intend
to go in the water why did you put on
your bathing suit? You don't look
at all well In It.
Elder Sister—I know it. but one has
to make some sacrifices to be in style.
Mr. Boreleigh—I’ve got the physical
culture craze in my- head. Do you
think there is anything in it?
Penelope—l certainly think there Is
something in physical culture.—Judge
A Difficult Process.
"What are you doing?” asked Maud.
“Studying Russian,” answered Ma-
mie. "Do you know, I believe I have
discovered why the Russians are de-
feated so often. When a Russian gen-
eral gives a command it must con-
sume a lot of valuable time to get out
a lexicon and translate it to the
La Montt When I see a chap in a
big black Windsor bow I always specu-
I-a Moyne Indeed! I suppose you
speculate whether he is an artist or
La Montt—No, I speculate whether
he has on a shirt or whether ho has
Setting Traps and Caps.
"Yes, the foreign duke was conspicu-
ous among the beach smart circles."
“You don’t say! How many women
were after him?”
“But there are only fifteen young
ladies at the beach.”
"Yes, but each has a mamma.”
It Was a License All Right.
But your dog license has been paid
for this year,” said the department
•Strange,” remarked the forgetful
man. 1 m sure this string around my
finger was to remind me to come here
for my license.”
But its been paid; probably by
your wife, or-"
"My wife? Oh, that's It! It was my
marriege license I was to get to-day.”
Truthful Young Man.
Lady I bought a calico wrapper of
you a few days ago and you warranted
the colors to be fast.
Clerk Yes, madam; I remember it.
Lady Well, the moment I put it in
the washtub the colors came out .
Clerk—That proves the truthfulness
oi my assertion, madam. There cer-
tainly wasn't anything slow about
To Be Sure.
Little Johnny—Say, pa, will you
buy me a pair of roller skates?
Pa What in the name of common
sense do you want with a pair ol
Little Johnny—Why, pa, I want ta
use them for mowing the lawn in
summer and shoveling snow in win-
ter. What else could 1 use them for,
Unwonted Activity in the Shop.
"Now, that is what 1 like to see,"
observed the rural merchant to I ho
proprietor of the great department
store. “All your clerks are full of vim
“Yes," replied the proprietor, with a
sarcastic smile. "We close at noon
to-day, and they are getting r. ady to
He Was a Terror.
Customer—Say, I want a good
Dealer—I have one that will just
Customer—Is he savage?
Dealer—Is he savaga? Why, he ac-
tually chews holes in his own pants
Only Obstacles to Him.
“What a beautiful road this is,”
said the fair visitor, “the overshadow-
ing trees are so perfect. Don't you
just love these grand old trees?"
“No, I don’t,” replied her host, who
was just learning to run an auto,
“they’re forever getting in my way.”
Forced to that Conclusion.
Caller—You never play the violin
!r. public. I presume, then, you do it
solely for your own amusement.
Host—I’m afraid I do. From cer-
tain remarks dropped by the neigh-
bors I have been led to think it
doesn’t amuse them at all.
Just for a Bluff.
Him—Would you scream if 1 at-
tempted to kiss you?
Her—Indeed 1 would—If any ona
happened to e looking at the time.
NOW THEY DON’T SPEAK.
Mrs. OK,style—It's strange that you should recognize me. You haven’t
seen me for five years.
Mrs. Newstyle—I didn’t know your face, but I remembered your hat and
dress the moment I saw them.
“He’s had good luck at poker late-
“How do you know.”
“I heard him remark this morning
that it's a mistake to say poker isn’t
a thoroughly scientific game.”
“Senator Kraft Is talking a good
deal about the need of reform in poli-
"Yes; reminds me of a drunken
maji handing out temperance tracts.”
Worrying the Landlord.
Clarinda—You can't keep a dog in
your new flat?
Florinda—No, we had to give Fldo
away, but Frederick had his dear little
bark put in our phonograph.—Cincin-
nati Commercial Tribune.
Do you think the modern girl Is
benefited by an athletic training?"
"Yes," answered Miss Cayenne. “It
enables her to get in and out of a
hammock without breaking her neck."
Here’s what’s next.
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French, Mrs. W. H. Chandler Daily Publicist. (Chandler, Okla. Terr.), Vol. 3, No. 138, Ed. 1 Saturday, September 10, 1904, newspaper, September 10, 1904; Chandler, Oklahoma Territory. (gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc913311/m1/6/: accessed February 15, 2019), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.