The Yukon Sun And The Yukon Weekly. (Yukon, Okla. Terr.), Vol. 10, No. 10, Ed. 1 Friday, March 7, 1902 Page: 3 of 8
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M&iltlifeigiMliifiaiaMiik...... ,.V. ■..
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WITH THE JESTERS
Funny Side of Life as Depicted by the
Now is tKe time to lay in your
A prominent business man was re-
tently treated by Dr. Cyrus Edson for
a peculiar growth in his throat.
"Dr. Edson seemed very much preoc-
cupied at times,” said the patient. "I
was much surprised when I called on
him one day without being recognized.
T thought it rather odd, having paid
him a small fortune in fees, that 1 had
to explain that 1 wished him to look at
’Open your mouth,’ said the doctor, j
"I did so, and the doctor seized my j
hand cordially. Sly dear Mr. X.,’ he
exclaimed, ‘really 1 didn’t recognize j
you at first!’ ’’
A Yard or MIIU.
John Flannlgan, the big policeman
who has his beat along Third avenue
above 14th street, strolled out of the
rain the other day into a grocery store
above 17th street and, seeing a big
crock of milk on the counter.
“Will ye give me a yard or so o’
milk, me bhoy?"
The “bhoy,” himself not slow, dipped
his finger into-the crock and drew a
line about a yard long on the counter.
"Here you are, sir. Five cents,
“Thin rowl, it up an' Oi’ll take it
home!’’ said John.—New York Times.
die forward or even the messenger
boy, who looked up from his nickel
library to acknowledge it.
No one had heard of the F4eh theater. |
A somewhat labored cross-examina- j
tlon brought out the fact that she
wanted to go to the Aquarium. She got!
a transfer at Broadway.—New York |
Dry Goods, Clothing, Shoes,
Waists, Laces, Embroideries,
.And Here is tKe place to bviy them.
Mail Orders Promptly Attended To.
Judge—Your face seems strangely fa-
miliar to me? .
Prisoner—Well, your honor, two
years ago I gave your daughter sing-
Dashaway—Qullldriver seems to be
a fellow of extremes—oi\e who writes
---•— j awful slush and sublime prose, and
Tin True Reason. j who is at the same time an idiot and a
“Is it true,” asked the Investigating i h'enius.
Gentleman of the Saloonist, “that you i Cleverton—Where did you get such
put so much salt on the free lunch | an idea?
in ofder to induce thirst in your pa-
“Not much,” said the Saloonist,
growing suddenly communicative. “We
put salt on it to preserve it.”
And he pointed out some sandwiches
and cheese that had decorated the
table for two years without losing
their pristine beauty.
Danger of Resentment.
"Republics are ungrateful,” said the
"Well,” answered the business man,
"I suppose a republic has a great deal
of human nature about i(. fvobody
likes to be dunned, and some people
are liable to make the mistake of con-
tinually reminding a republic of Us
Necessity anti Invention.
! Dasliaway—I’ve just been reading
the reviews of his latest book.—Har-
per's Bazar. .
Thins. Ar« Different In Boston.
Sa?3 the Boston Globe: "111 taking
her out sleigh riding; young man, he
careful of that vaccinated arm.”
That advice may do for Boston
young men, but opt here a sensible
youth would rather forego the minor j
pleasure of the ride than be handi-
capped in that provoking manner.— j
^ Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Circus tickets cost a quarter.
Uncle Joey had just one.
And he’d promised Ebenezor
They would go and see the fun.
Mrs Crimsonheak I see by this
wireless telegraphy, while at sea, one
ship i an communicate with another.” I
Mr. Crimsonbeak—One ship can talk
'.jack to another?"
“Well, that's an additional reason j
why they shopld be called , sister j
Right 111 Their Line.
“Those cold Boston girls naturally
enjoy the Abbey ‘Holy Grail’ decora-
tions in the public library'."
’•Because a frieze is right in their
Blobbs—The colonel is utterly fear-
less of public opinion.
Slobbs—That’s right. I once heard
him admit before a crowd of people
I that he didn’t like grand opera.
In a I.ighter Moot. *
She: "No man has ever kissed me.’ ’
He: "I wouldn’t boast of my unpop-
ularity. if I were you.”—Philadelphia
"War is very expensive,” said one
South American official. “Very,” re-
sponded the other; "our bill for type-
writer supplies this month was simply
| • They asked the visiting English-
woman what she thought of New
York. ”1 think it will be charming—
when it is finished,” said the English-
woman.—New York Evening Sun.
Bramble: “I made a good bargain
I with Jones just now." Thorne: "What
I was it?” "I'm to let him have the ex-
| elusive use of my automobile and he’s
to pay for half the repairs.”—Life.
Is now loaded with
Handsome New Suits,
Skirts, Waists at prices
to meet all pocket books.
- vj? y»?
We can save you money here
is the best high grade
shoes for men.
has no equal for style
and durabilityfor ladies.
As they entered. Uncle Joey
Chuckled, "Patrick Henry said
Dat if folks don’t hang togedder
Dey would slio’ git left instead!”
An Irishwoman, broad of back and
gray of hair, walked into a dingy cross-
town horse car one day last week.
”1 wnnt to go to the Fish theayter,”
she said In a rich brogue.
"The Fish theater?" echoed the con-
"Aye,” said she.
He had nevn- heard of it, no more
had the driver nt the prim youth on
the platform, t*>,» ir.on with the bun-
We are leaders in Carpets,
Rugs, Lace Curtains, Portiers
and Shades. Let us give
you our prices and you can’t
help selecting from us.
The choicest pick from
domestic and foreign markets
in Ettamine’s, Suiting, Silk
and Wool Colored Crepe,
Wash Dress Goods Peau De
Soie Silk, Guaranteed Taf-
teta Waist Silks.
This department is second
to none for selection and
prices that are right. We
carry the Hart Schaffner and
Marx Gentlemen Cloihing
which we guarantee to fit.
Exclusive agents for Yoe-
man Hats, also the largest
selection of New Shirts,
1 ies, Underwear, Suspend-
ers and Gloves.
6fme rica n c
“By Jove! I left my pocketbook un-
der my pillow." "Well, your servant
girl is surely an honest, person."
"That’a just the trouble. She will give ;
the pocketbook to my wife." Flleg-
ende Blaetter. ,
“Did the prisoner indulge in objur- ;
gations?” asked the young attorney j
of the witness. “No, sir,” replied the |
latter. "I never knew liiin to take j
anything but whisky.Pittsburg
Boggs: “Do you believe that half of
| the world doesn't know how the other;
| half lives”” Poggs; ".Sure; it’s a very
I rare case when a woman doesn’t get
up a better-than-msuul dinner when
she has company.—Indianapolis Sun.
"No man ever obtained anything
worth having without working hard
for it,” said Mrs. Bickers to her hus-
band. who was in a discouraged mood !
"That's so.” replied Mr. Bickers re-
flectively. “I remember t.hat l obtained j
you vrlthcu? tiie slightest difficulty." — !
Y:' Bit: ■
/ • 1
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/ T/.H m
THE UNITED STATES CUSTOM HOUSE. PLANNED BY STRICKLAND FOR
AND ORIGINALLY USED DY THE UNITvD STATES BANK
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Maxwell, William Albert. The Yukon Sun And The Yukon Weekly. (Yukon, Okla. Terr.), Vol. 10, No. 10, Ed. 1 Friday, March 7, 1902, newspaper, March 7, 1902; Yukon, Oklahoma. (gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc912359/m1/3/: accessed August 15, 2018), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.