The Shawnee News. (Shawnee, Okla.), Vol. 14, No. 260, Ed. 1 Wednesday, March 30, 1910 Page: 3 of 8
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THE SHAWNEE NEWS.
.A: mGE> OF FUN
Nicky Nimrod has mimed 15 times.
Find Nlckj—Find the rabbit.
It Will Be So.
RE was a man of middle age. and
every woman in the car spotted him
for an old bachelor. He had a great
big calendar In his hand, and when lie
haw that many noticed It he felt that
some explanation watt necessary. He,
therefore, said In a loud voice:
"I board. I board with Mrs. Wiggins
Lent baa been long, and we have bad no
meat. I am taking the calendar home to
■how Mrs. Wiggins when Raster Day ar-
rives aud Lent ends. 1 shall hold it up
before her and put my finger on the date
• " 'Behold, woman - behold! The big, red
i figures of a calendar never, never He!'
"And after Faster she will have meat
j on the table?" queried one of the men.
A look of the utmost dejection came to
the old bachelor's face, and with sock-
j thing like a tear In bis eye he walllngly
"Alas, no! I know how it will be. She
! will nay that the hot season Is now at
hand and we muBt drop meat for corn-
meal mush and skimmed milk."
He sat down and said no more. Some
of the passengers would have pitied him,
but what could they say In such a case?
"Our landlady Is too close to buy any
Easter emblems for the table."
"I don't know about that; she baa
promised ua a Welsh rabbit for supper."
Till* ...i day.
This Faster Dey, ear duty dons,
We pans* to beer the organ play,
3 hen ferth to breathe the aurlng lie
"The show of gowns was very gay—
"How well the baaso took that run!"
"The lilies made a fine display.
This Easter Day."
"Tea? But you cannot help but
Hy bonnet was the sweetest one
This Easter Day*"
An Easter Fable.
0 KB day, as the Sage was walking
along the seashore to listen to the
whispering of the Clama, he was ap-
proached by a young man of anxioua
brow, whe sakl:
"O. Sage. I hare come to aak thee if
thoa dost not desire a place In a business
establishment at ten dollara a week as
ahlpplng clerk? The hours are from 7
o'clock in the morning to moat any old
time next day, and the proapecta of ad
vsncement are bang-up."
"Young man, why thla Insult to one
of my years and wisdom?" demnnded the
Rage, as he drew himself up with great
"Dost remember that 1 came to thee
a year or more ago?"
"Why, it does seem as If I bad seen
your face before."
"I came to nay that I was In Jove with
two different girl*—one a beauty, and
the other as homely ag a smoked ham.'"
"Yes, I recall It. And have you mar-
ried one of them?"
"1 have, O, Sage. I asked thy advice,
and you told me to take the homely one.
You said that when Faster came she
would be satisfied with a cheap hat to
match her homely looks, and that it
would be dollars in my pocket."
"Truly, 1 said to you thus. It is
logic. It la philosophy. It Is truth.
You have come to tell me so."
"1 have come, O, Sage." replied the
young man, "to tell you that your logic
baa run uphill Instead of down. A home-
ly woman reasons that she must have
twice as nice a bat as a handaome one,
In order to make things even, and I have
been stuck foi n $50 yellow-back, when,
had I married the other, I should have
been $^5 ahead of the game."
"I will come with thee, my friend,'
said the Sage, after thinking for a mo-
ment. "I will come with thee and be
n shipping clerk and ship and ship and
strive and strive. I huve always felt
that my logic was a little loose some-
where, and now lead ou. for I am I
Lj LL other Sundays of the year
I When to the church she fares,
Her mind is fixed on wh&t she'll hear
In sermon and In prayer.
I)T Easter Morn another thina
Takes up her inmost thought;
She cares not how the choirs sing
Or what the service brought.
IN calm uplifting, for her mind
Has earth's affairs upon it;
To all things else she's very blind
Save, will they like my bonnet?
Easter comes but once s year.
And Baster hsts are very desr,
At Church. New, don't you think that
And if you ask her for the text
She's very sure to look perplexed;
To top, the girl wore who sat next
A IN EASTER PARODY.
ol<l ftnofcouse plasm
i eat'Reuben nwd K I! it ti
fiklug of the Fester huv-
"Deary, don't u*
Yos were always chirp *r i
But a tear stands In <>
"But 'ti* a to r «
That new hat she was edertM,
A ad ska tamed fee blm sad safe:
"I'll ('hack the eld gray bonnet,
WHS the bine ribbon on It,
A ad you'll see in« In church with eoi
. ! plughnt If shattered,
• uu ' broke aid battered.
' BtKKi'i r -ty well."
ghat's the mm
D«r n*d to me "bout Banty Claus,
/ER EASTER GOWN.
Wlfey -What are you muttering about?
Hubby I was Just wondering how in the mischief unmarried women manage
to get dreaaed.
mY Faster hat, the bat 1 thought so
So charming and ao dainty alto-
In such sweet taste, beyond all parallel.
That bat, that with my suit so bimos-
And with each touch of color flneljr
Well, you perhaps will be somewhat anr*
But I regret the money there expended.
I STILL must own I think It suita my
I still consider it a chic confection.
And yet yoa need not raise your brows
The sight of it now fills ine with de-
I'm not capricious and in fact I'm torn
With longing, even as it Is, to wear it,
A more becoming hat I've never worn.
But stunning as it Is. I cannot bear It.
no. I must hand It over to Marie—
Marie, whose really truly name l
Of course you think so, hut I csn't agree
That such a course would be the mer
% eat folly,
You see, there was another In the store—
Not one chance in a thousand she would
That's what she did, though. Yes, I'na
My dearest friend has bought that ene
Just like It.
CHKHF were seven men and the con-
ductor packed on the rear platform of
the trollev car when The Inquirer
threw away the stub of his nickel cigar
and nBked of the man who had an elbow
In his ribs-
"Say, now, I want to find out about thla
Faster business. It may be that I am a
very Ignorant man, but I own up that I
haven't got the hang of It. What's the
orlglu of the day, anyhow?"
The man addressed made no answer, but
worked his way to the steps and dropped
off the car. The inquirer looked after
him and then turned to the man with
the horseshoe pin and said:
"Got his grouch on this morning, but
inehbe you haven't Why do they ceie
The horseshoe man started to answer,
but thought better of It and also dropped
off the car.
"Nice, polite crowd thla!" sneered The
Inquirer, "but perhapa you are not all
alike. Hay. mister, I'm asking why we
The third man looked at the aah on
the end of hla cigar and then around at
ths landacape, and then he followed the
other two It waa ao with all the raet of
them, until only The Inquirer and the
conductor were left. Then the former
"What in thunder does It all mess?"
"They couldn't answer, you knew."
"Well, yeu ere leftt"
"Yea, but fer Heaven's sake den t aak
Me! If yeu do I alkali have to skfa eat,
tee, sad I%a< wNl aeau lesiag mfiJK"
Perclval What would you aay If 1 were to give you an Easter kiss Instead ef
VlrglrUn Why would it be
"•essary to say anything?
mlH. do you
st I'boul enough
mm IVsnpwo—iJs« >75 U pay fer asy Abater oettt
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The Shawnee News. (Shawnee, Okla.), Vol. 14, No. 260, Ed. 1 Wednesday, March 30, 1910, newspaper, March 30, 1910; Shawnee, Oklahoma. (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc89967/m1/3/?rotate=0: accessed May 11, 2021), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.