The Hennessey Kicker. (Hennessey, Okla.), Vol. 3, No. 217, Ed. 1 Friday, April 14, 1899 Page: 2 of 8
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Siui
TO A YOUNQ LADY.
From the French.
Whi n In the glass thou Hee'st a form «o
fair.
My child, remember what can best adorn,
For virtue and for planning manners c are,
Klae. lacking those, thou art of beauty
shorn.
Should unkind nature have withheld from
thee
The gift of lovely features, waste no
tears;
Thy soul embellish, so shall others nee
A grace unfolding with the circling yearn.
The choicest prlae of friendship would'ut
thou win?
An air of sweefness Join to modest tone;
Fair candor cherish; let not pride within;
Pride spoils Heaven s brightest gifts; bid
It begone!
The good that others do thee ne'er forget;
Thine own good deeds keep not in mem-
ory's store;
Let others' kindnesses as gems reset
Resplendent shine; thine own tell never-
more.
<lod knows what best beflts thee: take Ills
cholci.
I Jo will preserve thee from each evil way;
If thou remember Him and heed Ills voire,
Ills hand shall guide thee to eternal day.
American Methodist Mugazine.
Consulted Her Relatives
family mass Vflcctina to Calk Over
Belen's Tuture State
A SPINSTER mint, just as {food as
could be in, lier own way, but witlin
strong tendency to keep'the run of
oveTythhifj and everybody in her
own block and with a mania
for including' herself in any group
of "relatives and frienda" that
might Ih- invited to attend any fu-
neral within a mile of her own home,
received the following letter from her
niece recently;
"Dear Aunt Sue; it ma> surprise you to
bear that I want to get married, but I know
ihat It will please you to learn that b< fore
taking Much an Important step i mean to
consult you and a!l my other relatives and
hen be guided by the opinion upon which
most of you agree.
"You know that there has always been
more or less hard feeling and coolness
among the folks ever since my sIsterH Ju-
dith and Kmma were married. Just because
- ver.vone was not consulted in
vanee. 8ine Judith married Tom, you
know, Aunt Kunlce has hardly spoken
to her. and Aunt Eunice's boys
won't even recognize Tom on
ptreet, not because they have
flilriK against him, for lie is a very good
husband, but because they wire not con
suited. And It Is Just as bad with Kmmn
tnd Cousin deorge ||.- pretends that he
is heart-broken because she married Wil-
liam without tlrst asking him what kind of
u man William was when she knew ali
about It herself.
"Now, 1 don't want to cause any morr
dissensions In the family, and so propose to
have what you might call a mass meeting
of all our folks and urge a general discus
slon and then take a ballot to see who is
the most suitable man for me to marry.
As 1 do not propose to have any vote my-
self. for fear of hurting some one's feel-
ings, i shall presldi at the meeting After
railing the meeting to order I shall an-
nounce that 1 have received two offers of
marriage, one from a young clergyman
and one from a young businessman. They
are bolh splendid young men, have good
positions, and if I was a mother I am sure
ihat 1 should be perfectly willing for my
laughter to marry either of them. I'll
admit that I prefer one to the other, and
if I felt at liberty to decide for myself
would not hesitate to make my choice.
However, i should not say at the meet-
h>k which one I prefer, because I know
that one of mother's cousins does not like
hlrn
"I have counted up all my relatives on
both sides, and llml that In addition to fa-
ther and mother, the four grandparents,
my brother, two sisters and two brothers-
in-law, there are seven aunt**, 11 uncles,
'.M first cousins l." second cousins, three,
great-aunts and my little niece. So you see
that it will lie quite a mass meeting. I
shall ask all who cannot come to send let-
ters expressing in full their opinions and
preference* in the matter. I shall read
fh< se letters aloud at the meeting, which
will b< held next Thursday evening Tour
affectionate niece,
HELEN
I' S — Do you know whether John llud-
di.ngton Is really a cousin of ours, or do
We call him uncle because the families used
to be so Intimate. He Is living out in Omaha
now. and. of course, couldn't come to the
meeting, but If be is actually a relative. I
must write to him and get his opinion by
letter. Please answer. H."
Aunt Sue was delighted with the let-
ter from Helen, and ufter w riting back
that John Huddingtou was a sort of a
third cousin and that it wouldn't do any
barm to consult him, and also announc-
ing that she would come to the meet-
ing early enough for dinner and to have
a long private talk before the meeting,
the spinster lost no time in telling her
neighbors what n sensiole niece she had
and that her brother had at least one
daughter who was a credit to the fain-
ily.
The plans for the meeting went off
without a hitch, and of the 71 relatives
invited all were present but one aunt,
three uncles, seven cousins and the
little niece. The little niece, Judith's,
rhild. was reported as siaiv with a bad
<*old. which caused Eunice to sniiT and
intimate that Judith knew as inueh
about taking care of a baby as she did
nbout a whale, and that she had mar-
ried the wrong man, anyway. Hut
the friction didn't develop and Helen
ifot her mass meeting into parliamen-
tary form without confusion.
ou have all lea rued," she said, "from
vour letters of invitation what the pur-
pose of this family gathering is. I feel
\ery grateful that so many of you have
-hown your interest in my welfare by
oming here to-night. Tie fore asking for
remarks I will read two letters that I
have received, one from I'nele .Toe and
' he other from Cousin Susan. This is
the one from uncle:
" 'My dear Niece; Your strange request
n eelved. It will be impossible for me to
ittend your foolish meeting, but I would
not come If I could, because It Is none of
iny business—your choice of a husband.
Marry the man who loves you and whom
• ou love, and it is my earnest wish that
tie may be worthy of you I'll be at the
wedding, no matter what other engage-
ments I have. Congratulating you in ad-
vance, I am your affectionate
"UNCLE JOE."
Murmurs of disapproval from the as-
sembled relatives followed the reading
if this first letter. One aunt expressed
ner gratitude that Joe wasn't on In r
ide of the family, and said that he
.fcc\er had aino'ir.'t ;! to much and never
would. Three other aunts anil two
cousins said: 441 told you so" in con-
cert.
The chairman of the meeting had
taken great delight in her Uncle Joe's
letter, but didn't show it, and proceeded
to read the letter of regret from ( otisin
Susan, Auut Susie's namesake and fa-
vorite niece
"Dear Cousin Nellie," she wrote, "1 was
delighted with your letter, and it shows me
what a sensible girl you are—so different
from some of my eousins that I might men-
tion Unfortunately f will not be able to
attend the matts meeting, for on that very
night I am to preside at h special meeting
of our 'Society for the New Interpretation
of the Zodiac ' We are to tske up the Scor-
pion, and I couldn't possibly miss It Now,
as to advice. In the first place, I should ad-
vise you not to marry at all (Four aunts
and three uncles applauded that sentence.)
Hut if your mind Is set, for heaven's sake,
take a man with means. Our family has
always been respectable and all that, but
It is about time, I should think, that one
of us. or. rather, one of you. ought to get
a man with means. Of course, I wouldn't
say a word against Thomas and William,
but you know that Judith will always be
:r drudge and as for Evnma—I'd rather be
dead than in her position. (Some of the
relatives, led by Aunt Sue. applauded vig-
orously. Emma and Judith looked as if
they wanted to cry, but as they knew
that Helen sympathized with thrmundad-
min d their husbands, they didn't leave the
room.)
"Now, there is one thing more, Helen,"
eontlnucd cousin Susan's letter "You
speak of two offers of marriage. One, you
say, is from a young business man. I don't
want to hurt your feelings, but if. as I sus-
pect, you mean X. Y. Z., I want to say
right here that you must not think of mar-
rying him. Why. 1 sftmuld Ignore the en-
gagement altogether and would never rec-
ognize him as a member of our family.
Don't call him a business man He Is only
a common clerk He hasn't any polish at
all, none of the tiner feelings. II. goes to
work every morning at eight and drudges
away until six. Why, Nellie, he might
as well carry a tin dinner pall. I guess he'll
have to if he ever tries to support a wife,
and Just think of how you would have to
slave.
"tilve my love to dear Aunt Sue and tell
her that I received her pretty 1 itie booklet
on 'Didactics.' Thanking you for asking
my advice and hoping that I have helped
you, 1 am, yours sincerely,
"COUSIN SUSAN
"P. S.—Hum this letter immediately."
(Jcncral discussion followed the read-
ing of the letters and Aunt Sue was the
lirsit speaker. She said that her dear
niece and namesake had s-truck the
keynote of the whole thing and that
the relatives could not arrive at any
wis^r conclusion than to decide- in
favor of a man of means. She made a
long speech to that clTecl. and in un-
consciously drawing comparison si and
citing horrible example* to be found
w ithin the family circle she trod on so
many toes, figurntively speaking, that
I .'I relatives who had gone to the meet-
ing- fil>«! with ideas us to what Helen
ought to do left the room without ex-
pressing them after dechi
they would n<
ABUSES IN THE ARMY.
Why There Is No Harmony in Our
Military Establishment
here \ re Too Mnn> I nib*| en<1 v t
iiiirchum \\ ininf lleuiln %re In «
Mnmure Not lte |innKlble
to Anybody.
ing that
r return.
Following Aunt Sue one of the
uncles- arose for information and
naked for the mimes of the young cler-
gyman and the young business man.
Helen refused to inform him.
"it i enough for you to know," she
explained, "that they are both sincere
and respectable. I don't w'ant to an-
nounce their names, because it would
be a humiliating thing for the one who
is defeated in the balloting.
"Of course," she continued, meekly,
"you are not limited in your choice to
one of those two. You are all at lib-
erty to nominate, and the additional
names will be voted upon."
One uncle who had not been inside of
a church for nine yeans, because the
bust time that he bad been in one, just
after a row w ith his w ife, the minister,
who didn't know him or the circuin-
stnncesjiad chosen for his text : "What
the Lord hath joined, let no man put
asunder," declared that he was ready
then and there to vote for the young
business man.
A grandmother said that she would
like to know how Helen felt herself,
and began to talk about her own court-
ship, but quickly subsided when an
aunt snapped her up with ti point of
order to tlie effect that the feelings of
the chairman were irrelevant and im-
material.
There is no motion before the meet-
ing." said Helen.
Then I move," said Aunt Sue. "that
my niece marry a man of means."
I would like to offer an amend-
ment," put in an uncle, a good deal like
his brother Joe, "a man of means who
has some brainsand a heart in him."
Aunt Sue contended that that was
understood, and that the amendment
vas not necessary. She made a long
•'peech. and then the amendment wa<s
lost by a vote of .'10 to 1G. The original
motion was then carried by a vote of
the 10 who had stuck out for the
amendment refusing to vote, and soon
afterward leaving the room.
"What do you mean by a man of
means. Aunt Sue?" asked the chair-
man.
"Not one cent less than $5,000 a
year," was the reply.
All of the male cousins that were left
gasped, and the married aunts, most of
whom could not take ice except in the
summer mouths, sighed. Incidentally
there was another exodus of relatives,
leaving an attendance of only 17. To
get out of nn embarrassing situation
Helen said that there was no quorum
and declared the meeting • adjourned
subject to the call of the chair.
Then she hunted up her two sisters
and several of the others who had
voted for the amendment and told
them that the whole thing was a joke
jthst to see what fools a lot of meddling
old relatives could make of themselves,
and that, furthermore, she had never
had a proposal from a young clergy-
man. but that she had hail one fr^m
a young business man. and that it was
X. \. /., and that she was going to
marry him. Aunt Sue and Cousdn Susan
to the contrary notwithstanding.—N.
Y. Sun.
Mail•• III* Will Every Second liny.
James \Y. Brown, a prominent citi-
zen of Chatham, Can., died a few days
ago. aged G.". He was worth about
$ii0,000 lie was in the habit of writ-
ing a w ill every other day. so that it is
not definitely known yet what, he has
done with 1".money.
(Special Washington Letter.]
The army reorganization bill, of
which so much bus been said in the
newspapers, in a measure which has not
been analy/.ed so that everybody can
understand it.
That the army of this republic is in
n disorganized condition must be mani-
fest to all of the people; and it is not
putting it. too strong to say that the
condition of our army is a disgrace to
tliis nation before the peoples of the
civilized world.
This condition, which has brovyM
about all of the war department scan-
dals. results from the everlasting con-
flict between the secretary of war and
the general commanding the army.
Every general commanding the army
has found himself handicapped and his ;
power of command taken from him by
the civilian secretary of war, no mat-
ter win titer the secretary of warknows^
anything about military affairs or
not. •
When (irant was made lieutenant
general he so well understood how our
armies had been handicapped by orders
from Washington that, in the presence
of the cabinet, he accepted the com-
mission. from President Lincoln, say-
ing that he would* not retain that coin-
mission unless it carried with it the
full command of the army, (irant was
so great and powerful at that time that
President Lincoln gave him the coin-
ipnnd; and from that moment all of
the federal armies moved under one
impulse and direction.
\\ hen Sherman became general in
command, after ti rant became presi-
dent, be assumed command, just as
(Irant had done, and issued orders for
the appointment of his staff officers.
Sherman expected to have full com-
mand. of course. Hut (Jen. Raw litis was
seen tary of war. and lie influenced his
friend, President Grant, to take the
stall officers from the command of the
general, and. place them under the com-
mand of the secretary of war. Presi-
dent (irant did so. He would not have
taken that stand for anybody on earth
except Kaw litis, w ho had been his warm-
est friend and almost his guardian angel
in his days of trouble and peril.
When President (irant took that
stand, (ien. Sherman left Washington
and took up his abode in St. Louis, be-
cause he did not want to be a mere fig-
urehead- in the war department at the
national capital. Years went by, and
Sherman made his home in St. Louis,
occasionally visiting Washington as a
mere matter of form. Hut he was never
in actual command of the army.
The result of Grant's orders lias been
the disgraceful and scandalous condi-t
tions, increasing in disgrace and acri-
mony from year to year; so that when
the war with Spain began our regular
army and our volunteer army did not
pass to the command of the senior ma-
jor general of the army, but Jill of them
were placed at the mercy of a civilian
secretary of war. and staff officers who
were independent of the general under
whose command they should have
served.
This brief statement contains the ker-
nel of the causes of all the needless suf-
ferings and deaths to which our sol-
diers were subjected. It makes no dif-
ference who nmy lie the secretary o f
war. whether his name is Alger. Mc-
Creary. Lincoln. Kndicott. Proctor or
Jones; it U improper that a civilian see
retary of war should be allowed by law
to supervise duties of which he must
necessarily be ignorant, while the gen-
ii! time of war. The ten brigadier gen-
era's, known as bureau chiefs, are a a
follows:
The adjutant general, who is> the
military clerk to the secretary of war,
through whom all orders are issued to
the army. He is the chief staff officer,
but can issue no orders on his own re-
sponsibility.
The judge advocate general ia the
legal authority of the war department,
and his duties are seldom increased in
time of war, although every other staff
officer, including the adjutant general,
have their duties multiplied.
The inspector general is charged
with inspections of the troops, of their
camps, of their food supplies, their
medical supplies and their surgical at-
tendance. He inspects their clothing,
their arms, their ammunition, anu
everything connected with their hy-
gienic surroundings.
It is the duty of the quartermaster
general to provide quarters for all
armies, furnish them with clothing and
supplies, furnish transportation.horses
for cavalry and artillery, and all duties
kindred thereto.
The commissary general i.s charged
with the duty of providing food for the
army, no matter how numerous may be
the soldiers. It is expected that the
commissary general will purchase and
send to the troops only the best army
rations obtainable; and that he will
keep the supplier going forward as
rapidly as the quartermaster general
can handle them.
The surgeon general is expected to
furnish medical supplies', hospital stir
geons, hospital stewards, hospital
nurses, and all appliances for the com
fort and well being of the soldiers,
whether in camp or field, and partic-
ularly when the soldiers are cam-
paigning and engaging in battle.
The paymaster general's duties are
implied in the name of the office. The
paymaster general is responsible fior
the payment of the soldiers, and iipon
him devolves great responsibility, par
ticularly in time of war.
The chief of engineers has charge of
the fortifications, river and harbor ini*
H1
THE
MARKS OF
SUFFERING
rEALTH and tuauty are the flories of perfect woman-
hood.
Women who suffer constantly with weakness peculiar
to their se* cannot retain their beauty. Preservation of
pretty features and rounded form is
a duty women owe to themselves.
The mark of excessive monthly suf-
fering is a familiar one in the faces of
young American women.
Don't wait, young women, until
your good looks are gone past recall.
Consult Mrs. Pinkham at the out-
start. Write to her at Lynn, Mass.
Miss Edna Ellis. Higginsport, Ohio, writes: "Dear Mrs.
Pinkham—1 am a school teacher and had suffered untold agony
during my menstrual periods for ten years. My nervous sys-
tem was almost a wreck. 1 suffered with pain in my side and
had almost every ill human flesh i3
heir to. I had taken treatment from a
number of physicians who gave me
no relief. In fact one
eminent specialist said
no medicine could help
me, I must submit to
an operation. At my
mother's request. I
wrote to Mrs. Pink-
ham stating my
case in every par-
ticular and re-
ceived a prompt
reply. I followed
the advice given
me and now I
suffer no morn
i during menses.
If anyone cares
to know more
about my case, I
will cheerfully answer all
letters."
Miss Kate Cook, 16 Ad-
dison St.. Mt. Jackson, Ind., writes: "Dear Mrs. Pinkham—
I am by occupation a school teacher, and for a long while suf-
fered with painful menstruation and nervousness. I have re-
ceived more benefit from Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com-
pound than from all remedies that I have ever tried."
■fi
GEN. A. W. GREELY.
(Chief Signal Officer of the t'nlted State
Army.)
provements, bridge buildings*, hanrT
ling pontoons for army use in cross-
ing streams, and in debarking ami
barking troops.
The chief of ordnance, is charged with
supplying the army with the Latest im-
proved eannons. rifles and other lire
arms, and with the ammunition ti
make them available for offense and
de fense.
I he chief signal officer has charge of
the military telegraph and signal serv-
ice. During the late war with Spain
this branch of the army rendered c
ceptionally valuable service in laying
telegraph and telephone lines, and in
destroying submarine cables which
were in use by the enemy.
I hese staff officers cost the country
a great deal of money, whether in time
i f peace or in time of war. Th
roll, recapitulated, follows:
pay
-pj-
GEN
(Adjutant Gem
H. C. OORBIX.
ral of the 1'nited States
Army )
eral nominally in command is deprived
of actual command, so that there can
be no coherence of military plans and
purposes. (Sen. (irant. who divorced the
army from the command of the secre-
tary of war. afterwards restored the
conditions which had embarrassed the
army commanders for many years.
Consequently, with all respect to the
memory of that great soldier, it must
truthfully be said that it is by his or-
der ihat the army is so disorganized.
This condition of affairs will continue
under all generals until the congress
shall take action, and enact a law which
will make it impossible for anybody to
come between the commanding general
and his troops.
There are ten bureau chiefs attached
to the office of the secretary of war, all
of them brigadier generals-, and all of
them independent of the commanding
general, under whose direct orders
they should be required to serve, in-
stead of being classified as chiefs of
bureaus- attached to the secretary of
war. The civilian branch of the war
department is big enough for a civil-
ian secretary to handle and direct,
without taking upon himself the direc-
tion of liie military men, particularly
10 brigadier generals
30 colonels
'<1 lifut-.nant colonels...........'.
IM majors '
IBs captains
si first lieutenants
1" second lieutenants
000
135,
208.
19,u60
.$1,487,020
Aggregate
They come high, but we must have
them. This brief statement doe* not
begin to cover their expense, because
in addition to these there are others,
man) others. The figures given do not
include the armies in the field in times
of peace and war. The last army ap-
propriation bill aggregated upwards
of $80,000,000.
Moreover, in addition to the pay of
the general staff*, given above, the gov-
ernment pays four cents per mile to
officers who are traveling, and this is
in addition to their paid transporta-
tion furnished by the quartermaster
general's department. For example,
an o flicer ordered from Host on to Ma-
nila would travel about 12.000 miles,
and he would get four cents per mile
in addition t«> his paid transportation.
The government would take him to
Manila, and pay him $4S0 additional
for making the trip. Consequently, the
army officers like to be ordered about,
because every trip they make in-
creases their annual income.-.
Private soldiers get nothing but
their transportation, their food and
I clothing, and the opportunity to be
killed. But the officers are better paid
I than in any other country. Moreover,
they have gold braid, epaulettes, so-
ciety advantages, hops, dances and
opportunities to marry heiresses. Kven
with the risk of life in battle, in these
days when war® seldom occur it is
much better for young men to seek ap-
point ments as army officers than to go
into politics and aspire for the presi-
dency. Almost any good fellow can
get to be an army officer, but few suc-
ceed in poljtics. SMITH D. FRY.
Juvenile \\ IniIoui.
The master was askiug questions.
"Now, boys," he said, "how many
months have 2S days?"
"All of them," replied a
once. -Tit-Bits.
A Mnrrlrd Mun'ii Verilon.
"What is fiction, pa?"
"Any story that says 'they married
and lived happily ever after.* "—N. V
World.
A MISSING WORD.
Dut the Worthy Preacher Hit Upon
One Thnt Wn* Ju*t a.*
FlULiitf.
A North Carolina preacher, in one of our
western counties, whose memory some-
times fails him at the critical point, was
recently preaching ft sermon before a Sun
day school convention. His subject was
"'1 he Resurrection." The thought toward
which he was driving with all physical
earnestness was that the doctrine of the
resurrection was the very essence of the
Gospel. The word "essence" he had care-
fully calculated to use in a tremendous
epitome of his whole thought. Rising on
tiptoe he shouted: "In a nutshell, my
brethren, the doctrine of the resurrection
is the very i* the very—"
Alas! his chosen word "essence" was
gone. He paused a second and then strode
SfJrar<! shouted in thunder tones:
The doctrine of the resurrection is the
very—i« the very " The recalcitrant wus
again nowhere in sight. Pausing once more,
and mustering his physical weapons for a
final desperate endeavor he lowered his
voice, but with intense earnestness, a.- if
angry with poor absent "essence," he
{fain let drive: "Brethren, the thought 1
nave tried to impress upon you is that the
doctrine of the resurrection is the very—
is the very—is the very soup of the ( Jospel!"
—Hamilton Review.
KATY IN LITERATURE
A Snatch €>f Story Wherein the'Thoo-
CIioon" IiHlnlge In a Few Pnffa
of Complaint.
lie (the switch engine) gave a vigorous
push to the west-bound car as he spoke, and
started back with a snort of surprise, for
the car was an old friend—an M. K. T. box
car.
"Jack my drivers, but its homeless Katy!
> hv, Katy, ain't there no getting vou
back to your friends? There's 40 chasers
out lor you from your road, if there's one.
who is holding you now?"
Wish I knew," whimpered homeless
Katy. I belong in Pars* m. 1 \ < only been
out ten months but I'm just aeliin* home-
sick; I want to lie in Kansas where the sun-
flowers bloom."
"\ard's full o' Homeless Katies an'
Wanderin' W^illies," the switch engine ex-
plained to .007. "Dunno quite how our men
:ix it. Swap around. I guess; anyhow I've
done my duty. She's on her way to Kan-
sas via^ Chicago; but I'll lay my next boiler
ful she'll be held there to wait consignee's
Convenience, and sent back tou with wheat
in the fall."—From Rudyard Kipling's
''007."
SMITHERS' RETORT.
He Makes a Tart Reply to the Land
lady at the I'rlvate Family
Hoarding House.
Mr. Smithers is a somewhat fastidious
young man who is looking for a new board
ing place. Smithers can't abide the regula
tion boarding house, ami always tries to live
with a private family, lie is now convinced
that an ad. which solicits boarders for a
"nice private family" is often a snare for a
stuffy double fiat, inhabited by one small
family and 24 boarders.
Smithers called one day last week at a
place with a glowing description just on the
.fu Michigan avenue's aristocracy.
Hum,suspiciously like a boarding house,"
thought Smithers, as he took in the dimen-
sions. A collarless negro servant who
opened the door confirmed Inn suspicions,
Out he had gone too far then to back out.
A sharp-nosed, snippy landlady came in
with a top-lofty air.
"Rr-ah, I believe I am mistaken," he be-
?an- ' supposed I should find a private
family. By the advertisement—hu m--"
The laughter and the familiar boarding
house hum of 14 clerks and ten lady sten-
ographers came up from the dining-room
in the basement. The mistress of the con-
glomerate "private family" drew herself up
proudly, "lou are entirely mistaken, sir,'
she asserted, in a rasping, seven-dollar a-
v£,ce. "this is not a boarding house,
although we have a few friends living with
•Smithers sniffed the air. There was a dis-
prunes and corned beef.
"Well, I must say," he remarked, as he
turned un his coat collar and fled down the
steps, 'that it smells like a boarding bouse,
madam."—Chicago Inter Ocean.
Arctic Exploration.
For 45 years we had been imprisoned by
the ice, and our situation was becoming des-
perate. It was not likely that we could hold
out 45 years longer.
In this juncture a ship appeared. An of-
ficer disembarked and came to us.
"Who are you?" he asked anxiously.
"We are the Smith party." we replied.
"You, doubtless, are our relief expedition."
"No,"' said the officer, "the Jones party
are your relief expedition. We are the re
lief expedition of the Jones party. So long "
Merciful heavens! If we were not rescued
soon, we should be too old to lecture!—De-
troit Journal.
ntotoim Proceed In if*.
Superintendent—The necktie department
will have to be moved further awav from the
counting room.
Manager Why?
I lie spring styles make so much noise
that the clerks can't work."—Boston Post
Any Girl CanTell&
A physician who mikes the tJ)
test and is honest abcut it can /
tell you that, in many cases.the f
number of Ted corpuscles in the iS
blood is doubled after a course <3
of treatment with Dr Williams'
Pink Pills for Pale People. r
That this means good blood U
may not be entirely clear fTom \
the doctors statement, but any «
girl who has uied the pills can tell \JI
you that it means red lips.briohti
eyes, good appetite,absence of
headache, and that it trans-
forms the pale and sallow girl
into a maiden who glows with
the beauty which perfect heaith'
alone can give.
Mothers whose daughters
otow debilitated as they pass
from girlhood into womanhood
should not neglect the pill best*
adapted foT this particular ill.
Frank B Troiit.of ioj CriawoM Avr., Detroit, Mich., fay,; "At the
se of fourteen we had to take our daughter from school on account of 111
health. She welshed only 90 pounds, was pale and sallow and the doctor,
•aid she had auiemta. Finally we gave her Dr. Williams' I'ink Fills for
Pale People. When she had taken two bom she was strong enough to
leave her bed, aud in less than six months was something like herself
To-day she Is entirely cured, and is a big, strong, healthy girl weighing
130 pounds, and has never had a sick day sineEvttini A,u;.
The genuine Dt Williams PmK Pills 0t Pai« P«opi, art
sold only mpaikagcs. th« wrapper 4lw4y4 b«ar,ng
the full name. At all dru^iitb, ot d.reit from the
Or Williaris Medicine Co . Sihenettady.h.Y. 50(ptr bo*.
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Campbell, J. B. The Hennessey Kicker. (Hennessey, Okla.), Vol. 3, No. 217, Ed. 1 Friday, April 14, 1899, newspaper, April 14, 1899; Hennessey, Oklahoma. (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc88814/m1/2/: accessed April 24, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.