Carney Enterprise. (Carney, Okla.), Vol. 14, No. 49, Ed. 1 Friday, July 2, 1915 Page: 7 of 12
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CARNEY. OKLA.. ENTERPRIS
The Married Life of Helen and Warren
— By MABEL HERBERT URNER
Originator of "Their Married Life." Author of "The
Journal of a Neglected Wife," 'The Woman Alone," etc.
Helen Fiercely Resents the Critical, Instructive Air of
(Copyright, 1915, by the McClure Newspaper Syndicate.)
Leaving the receiver off the hook,
Warren came back to the dining
dinner at the Bilt-
more and want to
come here after-
ward. All right,
up with a dis-
"Oh, yes—yes, of
course — tell her
we'd love to have
back to the
'phone, and Helen, leaving her des-
sert, flew Into her dressing room and
dragged from the wardrobe her two
"Come back here and finish your
dinner," called Warren a moment
"Will my blue taffeta look too
light?" unheedingly. "If they're din-
ing at the Biltmore, Carrie'll be
dressed, won't she?"
"Now don't rig up for them! Wear
what you've got on, and come finish
But Helen, having decided on the
blue taffeta, was already half un-
"Dear," calling to Warren, who was
still in the dining room, "ring for
Emma—I want her to hook me up."
She had slipped on the blue gown,
but somehow it did not look as well as
usual. Perhaps it was her hair or be-
cause she waa flushed and hurried.
"Emma, I want you to clear the
table and straighten the dining room
as quickly as you can," as the girl
fastened her draes. "Mr. Curtis' sis-
ter is coming, and she's a wonderful
housekeeper. Put on your best white
apron and keep it on—we may want
something during the evening. Oh, is
that hook off? Yes, you'll have to pin
it. Wait, here's a white one."
With a last adjusting touch to h< r
hair, Helen ran in to straighten the
front room and the library.
"Hold on, there; I want those,
growled Warrea as she folded up the
scattered evening papers.
"They're right hero," laying them on
the table beside him. "They look so
untidy strewn about. Dear, move
your chair a little—you've caught up
the rug. Oh, don't put your ashes
there—here's your ash tray."
Helen brushed the ashes from the
lamp base, hastily arranged the maga-
zines, and evened the window shades.
"What in the Sam Hill are you fuss-
ing around for? Nobody's coming but
Carrie and Ed."
"You know Carrie sees everything.
Oh, you're not going to wear that old
"Why not?" belligerently.
"Ed never wears one when we go
there. And that's so shabby—look at
that spot on the sleeve. Dear, please
With a muttered expletive Warren
flung down his paper and strode into
the bedroom, peeling off the house
coat as he went.
"Dear," following him anxiously,
"that collar's frayed. Won't you—"
"No, I won't," jerking on hia other
coat. "I put that on clean for dinner,
and I'll not change again. See here,
shut those windows!"
"Just a minute until It airs out!"
sniffingly. "I can smell that caufliflow
er yet. Walt, dear, help me put on
this good bedspread! No, draw It over
to your side more. Oh, there they are
now!" as the dooi bell rang. "Quick
this side's still too long!"
Helen had just time to straighten
the counterpane and smooth over the
pillows before she hurried out to
"Why, you've got all the windows
up," was Carrie's first critical com
ment when she came into the bedroom
to lay off her wraps.
"It was so warm in here." Helen
hastily put them down.
"Well, it's cold enough out,"'taking
off her coat and displaying a gray
crepe evening gown that fitted*severe-
ly her tall, stiff figure.
"You sit here, Carrie." Helen
pushed forward an easy chair as they
joined Warren and Ed in the library.
"No, I'll sit over by the radiator;
I'm chilly. Do you people always keep
your apartment this cold?"
"Helen said the place smelled of
cooking," blundered Warren.
"We had cauliflower for dinner,
flushed Helen, "and I think the odor
of that's always strong, don't you?"
"Yes, if you let it get through your
"Well, how did New York look when
you got back?" asked Ed.
"Mighty good," agreed Warren, and
for some time the conversation was
on their trip and the war conditions
they had found in London.
Helen was glad to let Warren do
most of the talking, but she was con-
scious that Carrie's critical glance
kept wandering about the apartment.
"Ugh, how she frightened me!" as
Pussy Purr-Mew made a sudden leap
for the fringe on Carrie's wrist-bag.
"She's caught her claw," sharply
"She'll tear it!"
Helen rescued the fringe and took
Pussy Purr-Mew on her lap.
"I like dogs, but I don't see how
you can fuss over a cat," disapproved
Carrie. "Think of the dust she col-
lects with that tail!"
"We try not to have any dust for
the tail to collect," returned Helen,
feeling that for once she had scored.
"No, I hadn't much time to get
around," Warren was saying. "But
Helen did drag me out to the rag
market—that's a rum place for you.
Helen, show 'em the things we got
Oh, we didn't get much," murmured
Helen, who always shrank from show
Ing Carrie anything. "Here's an old
card case," taking it from the mantel.
"And this old scent bottle I think's
rather quaint. W7hat were they, dear?
Only two shillings each, wasn't it?"
\ ou re wild about this sort of
thing, aren't you?" Carrie was look-
ing at them without the slightest in-
terest. "I suppose they're all right,
but I never cared to litter up my
house with a lot of brlc-a-brac."
Helen, who loathed bric-a-brac and
who prided herself on having a home
free from useless ornamentation,
I see you've moved your desk," as
Helen put back the scent bottle.
"Yes, it was too near the heat—the
veneering was getting warped."
^ ou ought to keep a saucer of
water under your radiators. It's not
the heat as much as the dryness that
cracks veneer," Instructed Carrie. "Do
you use a good furniture polish?"
"I suppose it's good," Btiffly, "I get
it at Warner's."
"Well, If you'd get a little lemon
oil—It would take off all these smeary
looking places. It's better than any
thing else for magoliany."
With an effort Helen forced a mur
mured comment about "trying it."
Carrie's critical, instructive attitude
had never seemed more intolerable,
and she had never felt for her a
stronger antagonism. It was a diffl
cult evening, and Helen could hardly
keep from showing the resentment
that was smoldering within her.
It was a relief when Ed finally
glanced at the clock and announced
that it was after ten.
"It doesn't seem possible that Fri
day's Christmas," observed Carrie as
she pinned on her hat. "But we're
not giving a single present this year.
What we ordinarily spend for pres-
ents we decided to give to the Bel-
gians. Mrs. Elliot and I got off a big
box on their Christmas ship.
"That was very fine of you," mur^
mured Helen, thinking of the ex
pensive centerpiece she had already
bought for Carrie
Oh, Isn't that something new?"
Carrie paused at the diiiing-room door
as they passed by. "I've never seen
"Yes, I got that in London. I love
that old Bohemian glass so, and you
don't often see one with the old silver
"What do you use for your silver?"
Carrie had taken up a berry dish from
the sideboard. "Gordon's silver soap?
Oh, they make a cream that's much
better. You try it and your silver
won't look so cloudy," holding the
dish up to the light.
"Carrie, it's late," called Ed from
With a forced, set smile, Helen fol-
lowed them out to the elevator. Even
after they rang for the car, Carrie
kept it waiting while she still extolled
the merits of the silver cream.
"Mighty nice to have them this eve-
ning," declared Warren as he closed
the door. "Carrie ?ooked well, didn't
she? Gave you some good tips, too.
You must try that stunt about water
under the radiator."
Helen gulped, then all her smolder
ing resentment blazed out. It was the
primitive, tigerish resentment that is
aroused in even the mildest, gentlest
woman by the criticism and interfer-
ence of her husband's family.
"You think she's such a paragon of
a housekeeper, don't you?" passionate-
ly. "That's what all your family think!
Well, I want to tell you something I
saw myself! You remember that night
we were over when Ed was sick?
Well, I went out to fill the hot-water
hag—and I found the maid brushing
her teeth in the kitchen sink! Now I
may have smeary furniture and cloudy
silver—but I'm at least clean about
the kitchen! And I'll tell her so,
'What're you trying to start, any
way?" scowled Warren. "I think it's
might fine of Carrie to want to help
"Help me? She only wanted an ex-
cuse to air her own perfections. I
tried to be civil to her tonight—but
the next time," excitedly, "I'll let her
know I can run my house without her
assistance! And I'm going to tell her
that my maid doesn't wash her teeth
in the kitchen sink."
"How do you know what she does
when you're not out there? Jove, wom-
en are cattish," as with a yawn War-
ren started to wind the clock. "Where
In the deuce is that key?"
WHEN MOTOR STOPPED
OWNER COULD NOT MAKE OUT
WHAT CAUSED TROUBLE.
Possibly the Fact That His Friend
Had Forgotten to Perform a Sim-
ple Operation Went Far to
He Knew That Story.
The old coldler was igain giving
the youngsters accounts of the won-
ders he had c xperienced, especially in
the way of climate. Said he: "I re-
member when we were in Fyzardum
we used to to.\st our bread in the sun,
and—" Youngster (interrupting):'
"Yes, I know; and you were supplied
with corkscrews to draw your
The enthusiastic fisherman had
bought a little motor boat and had
taken his best friend for a day's fish-
ing off Staten island. Fluke were run-
ning and after several hours they had
a mess of fish and were ready for
"Now we'll crank up and see how
long It takes this little motor to kick
her way back to the club," said the
boat's owner with a good deal of
satisfaction in his tone, for he was
proud of his little 20-footer.
With an air of confidence the own-
er primed that motor and threw over
the crank a few times. The motor
began to hum, and with his friend at
the wheel they started toward home.
The owner sat down close to the en-
gine, his head bent over it to enjoy
the rhythm of its steady throb. He
was proud and happy.
A moment later the engine slowed
down and then stopped with a violent
kickback. The man who owned the
boat jumped r.s though he had been
shot. It was his first experience with
a crank case jxplosion.
Recovering himself he laughed, and,
his confidence restored, turned to the
It's the spark plug, Joe," he an-
nounced. "I knew that oil I got
wasn't any good. It's carbonized the
spark plug. I'll fix it in a minute."
The spark plug was quickly taken
out and washed off with kerosene. The
motorboat enthusiast had read his
book of instructions faithfully.
When the spark plug had been
screwed in again and the wires con-
nected the owner cranked for several
minutes, but without even a cough
from the motor. A look of worry set-
tled on his face and he cranked des-
"I know what the trouble is," he
announced after a while. "Too much
The carburetor was tinkered with
and another attempt made to start
the engine. No success.
"I was wrong," said the boat owner,
smiling. "It's not getting enough gaso-
Again the carburetor was adjusted
and again the engine was cranked and
cranked, but still not a trace of re-
sponse from the little motor.
Desperate and mortified, the owner,
beginning at the batteries, went over
every bit of the engine equipment,
but could not find the cause of the
trouble. Every few minutes he would
crank the engine violently
All the time the boat was drifting
toward Sandy Hook and the new own-
er had not provided an anchor with
his equipment, so there was nothing
for it but to drift. Once they were
almost upset by the wash of one of
the big Sandy Hook boats.
"Hey, Phil," called the boat own-
er's friend, just as the moon was peep-
ing over the horizon. "Hey, Phil,
look here. I forgot to turn on the
gasoline when you told me to. Does
that make any difference?" — New
Osage, la., owns its water plant and
it Is out of debt The operating cost
last year was $1,568.13, and the in-
To Be World's Highest Dam.
The United States reclamation serv-
ice is blocking the Boise river canyon,
at Arrowrock, with a dam 350 feet
high. This will be the highest dam in
the world. It will have a length of
1,075 feet at the top and will contain
630,000 cubic yards of material.
During construction the waters are
being diverted through a tunnel run-
ning around the dam. The tunnel is
487 feet long and measures 25 by 30
feet. It Is large enough to pass the
whole of the Boise river.
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Herbert, H. S. Carney Enterprise. (Carney, Okla.), Vol. 14, No. 49, Ed. 1 Friday, July 2, 1915, newspaper, July 2, 1915; Carney, Oklahoma. (gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc87998/m1/7/: accessed September 26, 2017), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.