Carney Enterprise. (Carney, Okla.), Vol. 14, No. 40, Ed. 1 Friday, April 30, 1915 Page: 4 of 12
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CARNEY. OKLA.. ENTERPRISE
The minister was dining with th«
Fullers, and he was denouncing the
new styles in dancing. Turning to
the daughter of the Bouse, he asked
"Do you yourself. Miss Puller, think
the girls who dance these dances
"They must be," was the answer,
because I notice the girls who don't
dance them are always left"—Ladies'
Mr. Carnegie, the evening he ad
dressed the Rockefeller Bible class
at the Aldine club in New York, had
occasion to refer to a cynic.
"Oh, he was a great cynic," declared
Mr. Carnegie. "Once, advising me to
take a mean advantage of a rival, he
" 'We must profit by other people's
mistakes—like the ministers do when
they marry us, you know.'"
COULDN'T FOOL HC30
KNIGHT OF THE ROAD WAS WISE
Billy Sunday Tells Good Story of How
Farmer Stopped Visits of
of Effusive Welcome.
One Sense Not Under Control.
She was a bride of less than a year,
but she had her troubles and natural-
ly made a confidante of her mother.
"My dear child," said the mother,
"if you would have neither eyes nor
ears when your husband comes home
from the club you might be happier.
Perhaps so," answered the young
wife with an air of weariness; "but
what am I to do with my nose?"—Bos
ton Evening Transcript.
The Terrible Alternative.
1 he young wife—they are all young
in Action—was in tears, sobbing as
though her heart was about to break,
"Great guns!" exclaimed her bus
band "what's up?"
1 J I've got to—to—di—divorce
you," she sobbed.
"What in thunder—"
' The—new—co-cook won't stay If
I hus did idyllic happiness have to
take a back seat for brutal material
ism.- Philadelphia Public Ledger.
A FOOD DRINK
Which Brings Dally Enjoyment
A lady doctor writes:
Though busy hourly with my own
affairs, I will not deny myself the
pleasure of taking a few minutes to
tell of the enjoyment obtained daily
from my mornlng'cup of Postum. It
is a food beverage, not a stimulant
"I began to use Postum 8 years ago;
not because I wanted to, but because
coffee, which I dearly loved, made my
nights long, weary periods to be dread-
ed and unfitting me for business dur-
ing the day.
"On advice of a friend, I first tried
Podtum, making It carefully as sug-
gested on the package. As I had al-
ways used 'cream and no sugar,' I
mixed my Postum so. It looked good,
was clear and fragrant, and it was a
pleasure to see the cream color It as
my Kentucky friend always wanted
her coffee to look, 'like a new saddle.'
"Then I tasted it critically,Jot I had
tried many 'substitutes' for coffee. I
was pleased, yes, satisfied with my
Postum In taste and effect, and am yet,
being a constant user of It all these
"I continually assure my friends and
acquaintances that they will like Pos-
tum in place of coffee, and receive
benefit from Its use. I have gained
weight, can sleep and am not nerv-
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek, Mich. Read "The Road to Well-
Tllle," In pkgs.
Postum comes In two forms:
Regular Postum — must be well
boiled. 15c and 25o packages.
Instant Postum—is a soluble pow-
der. A teaspoonful dissolves quickly
In a cup of hot water, and with cream
and sugar makes a delicious beverage
Instantly. 30c and 50c tins.
Both kinds are equally delicious and
cost per cup about the same.
"There's a Reason" for Postum.
—•old by Grocers.
Billy Sunday, the evangelist, said at
a fashionable reception in his honor
'A good many people are mistrust-
ful of religion. I don't know why It
is, but there's a lot of people as mis-
trustful of religion and the religious
as the tramp was mistrustful of the
" 'I don't know what to do about
this tramp evil,' a farmer once said to
me. 'I've put up signs about bewar-
ing of the man trap and look out for
the savage dog and take care of the
spring gun, but It don't seem to do
any good at all, Mr. Sunday. The
tramps molest me something ter-
'Well, Brother Brown,' said I, 'you
Just put up a big sign reading, "All
tramps welcomed at Brown's," and
then, later on, let me know the result.'
'Brown thought I was Joking at first,
but when he saw I was in earnest he
went straight off home and put up a
big sign over his gate—'All tramps
welcome here, John Brown'—that you
could read half a mile away.
I met him again the following
year. He said the sign had worked
like a miracle. Ever since he put it
up he had only set eyes on one tramp
and that had been by accident. He
came on the tramp accidentally as
the fellow stood under the sign, look-
ing up at It and reading It over and
over with a kind of quizzical, sarcas-
tic smile playing about his mouth.
"'Hello!' says Parmer Brown, grin-
ning over the fence at the tramp
The tramp sneered. Then he burst
into a bitter laugh and said:
'Hello, mister. How many cops
have you got hidden in there?'
" 'Why, none—none at all," says
Farmer Brown, in a hurt, surprised
"The tramp gave another bitter
laugh. 'How many bulldogs have ydu
got, then, mister?'
" 'There ain't a dog about the place,'
says the farmer. He opened the gate
a little ways, but the tramp Jumped
back, so scared like, the farmer closed
it again out of pity. 'You can come
in and see for yourself If you don't
believe me about the dogs,' he says.
'Oh, yes, I know,' said the tramp.
He was pale and shaking all over
from the start he got when the gate
opened. 'I know all about that,' he
said; 'but tell me how many bear
traps you've got set In there that
would bite a poor fellow's leg off.'
" 'Nary a bear trap,' said the farm-
er. 'Nary a bear trap.'
" 'Has a man got to do a hard day's
work to get a measly meal of scraps?'
burst out the tramp.
'Nothing of the kind,' said the
farmer. 'You come right In, young fel-
low, and I'll give you a three-course
hot supper for nothing, and If you
want to stay all night we'll fix you up
a warm bed on the floor by the kitch-
"The tramp stared hard at the farm-
er a minute and then he smiled a kind
of pitying, patronizing smile and
"'You can't work that little game
on me. This Is my eleventh year on
'"What game?' said Farmer
Brown. 'What game are you talkln'
" 'Puttln* rough on rats In the cof-
fee and sellin' our remains to the
medical college for a dollar apiece,'
said the tramp, winking at the farm-
er. 'Oh, no, Brownie, old boy! Oh,
my, no! Not on your life! Ha, ha,
ha! Aber! This Is my eleventh year
on the road, I'm tellln' you.'
CALOMEL SICKENS! IT SALIVATES!
I Guarantee "Dodson's Liver Tone" Will Give You the Best Liver
and Bowel Cleansing You Ever Had—Don't Lose a Day's Work!
Calomel makes you sick; you lose a
day's work. Calomel is quicksilver
and it salivates; calomel injures your
If you are bilious, feel lazy, sluggish
and all knocked out, if your bowels
are constipated and your head aches
or stomach is sour, just take a spoon-
ful of harmless Dodson's Liver Tone
Instead of using sickening, salivating
calomel. Dodson's Liver Tone is real
liver medicine. You'll know it next
morning because you will wake up
feeling fine, your liver will be work-
ing, your headache and dizziness gone,
your stomach will be sweet and your
bowels regular. You will feel like
working. You'll be cheerful; full of
vigor and ambition.
Your druggist or dealer sells you a
50-cent bottle of Dodson's Liver Tone I
under my personal guarantee that It
will clean your sluggish liver better
than nasty calomel; it woh't make you
sick and you can eat anything you
want without being salivated. Your
druggist guarantees that each spoonful
will start your liver, clean your bowels
and straighten you up by morning or
you can have your money back. Chil-
dren gladly take Dodson's Liver Tone
because it is pleasant tasting and
doesn't gripe or cramp or make them
I am selling millions of bottles of
Dodson's Liver Tone to people who
have found that this pleasant, vege-
table, liver medicine takes the place
of dangerous calomel. Buy one bottle
on my sound, reliable guarantee. Aslc
your druggist or storekeeper about me.
A Real Actor.
Mrs. Beaton was walking through
the park recently when two ragged,
dirty little boys, who were playing
near by, stopped her.
"Say, lady," called out the elder of
the two, "me kid brother does fine
imitatln' stunts. Give him a dime an'
he will imitate a chicken for youse."
"What will he do—crow?" queried
"Naw," replied the boy, "no cheap
imitations like dat, ma'am. He'll eat
Lightening the Load.
O'Brien—Rape alive, Pat. We're
Voice from the Debris—Is Big De-
laney up there wid ye?
O'Brien—Shure he is.
Voice—Ask him to plaze step off
the rooins. I've enough on top av me
wldout him—Boston Transcript.
Anyway, when a woman argues she
can always convince herself.
"You can't see a joke," exclaimed
"Oh, yes, I can," replied his wife,
calmly, "or I should never have looked
twice at you."
TOUCHES OF ECZEMA
At Once Relieved by Cuticura Quito
Easily. Trial Free.
The Soap to cleanse and purify, the
Ointment to soothe and heal. Nothing
better than these fragrant sQper-
creamy emollients for all troubles af-
fecting the skin, scalp, hair and hands.
They mean a clear skin, clean scalp,
good hair and soft, white hands.
Sample each free by mail with Book.
Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. XY,
Boston. Sold everywhere.—Adv.
Electric fans have made it possi-
ble for churches and theaters In south-
ern Indian to remain open all sum-
Open to Settlement in May
An Opportunity to Get a Home in
Part of this land will be open to free homestead entry
and the remainder will be sold at a very low price
The reservation is located in North and South Dakota
and settlers should
FILE AT BISMARCK
On Main Transcontinental Line of
Northern Pacific Ry.
For the land located in North Dakota. This U the capital of the
from this point settlers stopping en route to or from the
North PaUfic Coast, may make a side trip to Cannon Ball or Solen
located on the border of the reservation and inspect the land!
Waf once for free copy of Standing Rock Indian Re.erva-
tion and North Dakota boohUt, and any other information de-
sired relative to this Big Land Opening.
L. J. BRICKER, Gen'l Itnm. Agent
St. Paul, Minn.
k luinilnratlun Aifont
M.I Northern Pacific Uy., Hi Paul, Minn.
n„ok il5it?Jni1r.e,ted..ln the op«nln« of the Standing
Itock Indian Re er atlun uml would like to recolvu
Inforujailou, rates and buokloU.
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Herbert, H. S. Carney Enterprise. (Carney, Okla.), Vol. 14, No. 40, Ed. 1 Friday, April 30, 1915, newspaper, April 30, 1915; Carney, Oklahoma. (gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc87989/m1/4/: accessed September 21, 2018), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.