Carney Enterprise. (Carney, Okla.), Vol. 13, No. 10, Ed. 1 Friday, October 3, 1913 Page: 2 of 12
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CARNEY, OK LA.. ENTERPRISE
Electricity in a Bowl Protects a Bunch of Coin
make cowards of us all," re-
marked Mr. Shakespeare, which only
shows that Shakespeare, was hep to
humanity and wrote a good many
things that other people merely
thought. This philosophy on morals
may not have been written with a par-
ticular view to janitors, but there are
several cases in Washington where it
would apply. There is one widely dis-
cussed at the capitol, where it is well
known that Superintendent Elliot
Woods can leave jewels and precious
6tones or anything else he happened
to have lying around.
Quite a while ago the senate labora-
tory was not the commodious struc-
ture it is now, but merely a private
laboratory and workshop for Mr.
Woods. He was an electrical expert
then, as he is now, and was always
fooling with anything from wireless
to high frequency currents. He no-
ticed at one time that a good many
of his small personal possessions dis-
appeared if he did not lock them up,
and as he seldom thought to lock any-
thing up, the lost list increased to an
One day he built a large lyden Jar
out of a big china bowl and a little tin
foil. He dropped a lot of pennies and
nickels and dimes into it and charged
It with enough "juice" to kill an ox
It was not long before one of the
outside laborers slipped in and took a
look around. That bowl of small
change was an irresistible temptation,
and he evidently thought a few would
not be missed. He ran his hand Into
the bowl, but before he could grasp a
nickel he felt as though some one had
hit him on the funny bone with an ax.
He gave a wild yell and landed In the
middle of the property yard.
This Model Shop Was Rather an Eerie Place
WHEN the model shop of the Smith-
sonian Institution was down by
the railroad tracks in South Washing-
ton, Harry Handley and the late Mr.
Palmer, who were In the shop, had the
surrounding population "buffaloed" to
the extent that it was never necessary
to lock a door. The model shop was
rather an eerie place, anyhow, with Its
atmosphere of plaster of paris, half
dismembered bodies and statues and
rugs and skins and almost anything
else queer that happened to float
through the museum.
The thing that made the place sa-
cred. or rather baleful, to illiterate
neighbors was a human skeleton that
lived in the back of the shop and that
by a simple arrangement of overhead
cords could be made to get up off a
chair and walk Into the shop.
There is one of the clerks up In the
war department who is an amateur
naturalist of some attainment. He is
also a smoker and is in the habit of
keeping a small reserve supply of to-
baco In a jar oh his desk, so that he
can replenish his pouch if he runs
short during the day.
He found, finally, that It was Impos-
sible to keep any tobacco on hand and
whenever he wanted it in a hurry the
jar was sure to have been emptied
The inhabitant of Ireland have noth-
ing on the sons of Ham when it comes
to dreading snakes. All snakes look
alike to them and they are all deadly,
merely because they are snakes, quite
regardless of the species. The clerk
knew this quite well and, carefully
washing out the tobacco dust from the
jar, he one day dropped a perfectly
harmless grass snake into it and put
on the lid.
That afternoon he stayed late vrlth
| a draftsman who was working over
time in an adjoining room. About
f>:30 there was an agonized yell from
the neighborhood of his desk and one
j of tlffe janitors passed through the
^ room in a blinding cloud of dust and
, took the stairs three at a time without
: waiting for the elevator.
Hidden Wealth Lost; Stove Is Worst Offender
THE United States has made mil-
lions of dollars through the efforts
of thrifty people to place their sur-
plus wealth beyond the reach of
thieves. Goats, calves, dogs and other
animals have eaten hundreds of rolls
of bills that would have been far safer
In banks Parlor stoves also appear
to be a profitable source of loss.
Rut for the work of the redemption
division of the treasury department
the loss in many cases would be total.
As It Is much of the money Is re-
deemed. but to date Uncle Sam Is
ti 4.000,000 richer than he would have
been had he never Issued paper money
Many a brave man Is apt to fear a
Yon Can Stop n Carbunrl* or Boll
After it begins to form, by using DR. POR-
ter's antiseptic healing OIL. 25c,
Give the old fashioned woman the
lye and she will make a batch of
Not Fit For Ladies
Public sentiment should be against it,
and we believe it is; there can be no rea-
son why ladies should have to suffer with
headaches and neuralgia,, especially when
Hunt's Lightning Oil gives such prompt
relief. It is simply a question of getting
the ladies to try it. All druggists sell
Hunt's Lightning Oil in 25c and 50c bot-
Fishing for Fish.
Many people there are who delight
in just fishing for fish. Such a one
was John Quincy Adams. The story
was told by one of his clients, whose
case was to be tried on a certain
morning, that he could not get his
counsel to leave his fishing boat ex-
cept long enough to write a note to
the judge which read; "Dear Judge—
For the sake of Izaak Walton please
continue my case until Friday. The
smelt are biting, and I can't leave."
And the judge having read the note,
announced to the court: "Mr. Adams
is detained on important business."—
Mo, It Wasn't Lost.
"Tom," said the head of the firm
to the new assistant, "the bookkeeper
says you've lost the key to the safe
and that he can't get at the books."
**I only lost one of them, sir. You
gave me two, you know, Just in case
one should get lost."
"I know. Have you the dpulicate?"
"No, sir, I haven't, but it isn't lost.
I took care that it shouldn't be. It's
in a safe place."
"Where is it?"
"In the safe, sir!"
| is won
The "banner of
health" is always won
by the person who
possesses a keen ap-
petite, enjoys perfect
digestion, and whose
liver and bowels are
regular. Get into
this "winner" class
at once by the aid of
It is for Poor Appetite,
Sick Headache, Heart-
burn, Indigestion, Con-
stipation and Malaria.
60 years the leader
They Hadn't Been Wasted.
"Oh, Mrs. Broome!" The sad eyed
young poet was calling to his board-
ing mistress. "Did you throw away
those blank sheets I left on my table
"I did, Mr. Scribbles," came the
apologetic reply; "weren't they waste
"Not yet," returned the poet, sadly;
'T hadn't written anything on them."
HAPPY OLD AGE
Most Likely to Follow Proper Eating.
Millions of the fractional currency
notes have been offered for redemption
and together with later Issues, are
either lost or hoarded up by curlo
Dogs, cats, pigs, goats and calves ap
pear to be the chief offenders when
it comes to eating paper bills. Re-
cently the redemption division was
compelled to examine the stomach ot
a dog that had swallowed a $20 bill
dropped by his owner.
Men in the redemption division as-
sert that in cases where animals swal-
low bills the proper course Is to get
the hills rb soon as posible and to
ship the whole mass to Washington to
be unfolded and tested as to Its
Decidedly the larger part of money
sent to Washington for redemption Is
said to have been mutilated by fire
The parlor stove la a great source of «
j loss. During the summer months
money Is concealed In the stove and in
the fall Is sent up in smoke in the
! firBt fall fire.
As old age advances we require less
food to replace waste, and food that
will not overtax the digestive organs,
while supplying true nourishment.
Such an ideal food is found in Grape-
Nuts, made of whole wheat and barley
by long baking and action of diastase
In the barley which changes the starch
Into a most digestible sugar.
The phosphates also, placed up un-
der the outer-coat of the wheat, are
Included in Grape-Nuts, but are lack-
ing in white flour because the outer-
coat of the wheat darkens the flour
and is left out by the miller. These
natural phosphates are necessary to
tho well-balanced building of muscle,
brain and nerve cells.
"I have used Grape-Nuts," writes an
Iowa man, "for 8 years and feel as
good and am stronger than I was ten
"Among my customers I meet a man
every day who is well along in years
and attributes his good health to
Grape-Nuts and Postum which he has
used for the last 5 years. He mixes
Grape-Nuts with Postum and says
they go fine together.
"For many years before I began to
eat Grape-Nuts, I could not say that I
enjoyed life or knew what It was to be
able to say 'I am well.' I suffered
greatly with constipation, but now my
habits are as regular as ever in my
"Whenever I make extra effort I
depend on Grape-Nuts food and it just
fills the bill. I can think and write a
great deal easier."
"There's a Reason." Name given by
Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich. Read
"The Road to Wellville," in pkgs.
Ever r<-nd tlir above letter f A nrw
one mipertr* from time to ttme. The*
■re jmnlnf. true, anil full of hnmaii
Uric Acid Is Slow Poison
Excess uric acid left in the blood by
weak kidneys, causes more diseases
than any other poison.
Among its effects are backache, head-
ache, dizziness, irritability, nervousness,
drowsiness, "blues," rheumatic attacks
and urinary disorders. Later effects
are dropsy, gravel or heart disease.
If you would avoid uric acid troubles*
keep your kidneys healthy. To stimu-
late and strengthen weak kidneys, use
Doan's Kidney Pills—the best recom-
mended special kidney remedy.
A Missouri Case
* Every rictHrr
TtlU a |
776 8. Lafayette St.,
Marshall, Mo., sayt>:
'My whole body was
swollen with dropsy.
1 had terrible back-
aches and headaches.
The kidney secre-
tions were In aw-
ful shape. I gave
up hope and was
ready to die
Pills came to my
aid just in time
and I improved
rapidly until I
well. Today I am
in better health
than ever before."
Get Doan's at Any Store. 50c a Box
FOSTER-MILBURN CO.. BUFFALO, N. Y.
A tetlet preparation of merit
Help* to eradicate dandruff,
i For Restoring Color and
Beauty to Gray or Fadod Hair.
ids, and fa.00 at Drvifiists.
Mrs. Youngwife—How do you make
Mrs. Matron—Oh, out of anything!
Getting a husband is an art; keeping
him is a domestic problem.
Mrs. Wlnslow's Soothing Byrop for Clifklm
teething, softens the gums, reduces inflamma-
tion,allays pain,cures wind colic,26c a bottle.**
A kiss in the dark may be a divine
spark, or it may be a mistake.
Prompt Relief—Permanent Cure
LIVER PILLS never
fail. Purely vegeta-
ble — act surely
but gently on
improve the complexion, brighten the eyes.
SMALL PILL, SMAIX DOSE, SMALL PRICE.
Genuine must bear Signature
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Herbert, H. S. Carney Enterprise. (Carney, Okla.), Vol. 13, No. 10, Ed. 1 Friday, October 3, 1913, newspaper, October 3, 1913; Carney, Oklahoma. (gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc87907/m1/2/: accessed September 22, 2018), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.