The Canadian Valley News. (Jones City, Okla.), Vol. 6, No. 9, Ed. 1 Friday, July 20, 1906 Page: 3 of 8
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Farmers’ Co-Operative !
Union of America. J
Chicago.—Keeping pace with the
Ingenuity of the criminal class is
Dne of the most difficult duties of
the. modern police of large cities.
There is no class so up to date in
Its business methods as the criminal
class. Successful businesses of a le-
gitimate character must change their
systems constantly because of com-
petition. Between the professional
criminal and the professional crim-
I myc/M? 4 zvxfivpiz;'pocest
inal catcher, aided and abetted by
all good citizens, there is a constant
war of wits. That the criminal so
often gets the better of his opponent,
hired for his sagacity and paid to
■catch the thief, the hold-up and the
burglar, is sufficient indication of the
average superiority of wit possessed
by the professional criminal when
compared to the criminal catcher.
One quick-witted thief can often keep
100 famous sleuths busy without re-
sults for weeks, months and years,
and be plying his particular calling
all the time. The old adage that
the same amount of ingenuity expend-
ed by the average criminal in earn-
ing a dishonest living would, if ap-
plied, be the means of his achieving
unlimited success in legitimate busi-
ness channels is exemplified in crim-
inal records every day in the year.
An inspector, whose intimate ac-
quaintance with criminals dates over
a period of several years, declares
that he has never yet had personal
experience with alleged schools for
the education of thieves along the
plan originated by the late Mr. Fagin,
of the Dickens’ period. But whether
there are Fagin schools for pickpock-
ets or not, it is a positive fact that
in the larger cities of the country
the pickpocket problem at this period
is a very serious one, and far more
difficult to deal w*ith than was the
case several years ago. In those
days the professionals were not near-
ly so numerous as they are now, and
nine times in ten when the detectives
became acquainted with the details of
a job in the pocket-picking line they
could tell offhand who did it, and
all they had to do was to look up
the man or woman whose peculiar
kind of handiwork was shown in the
crime, *n those days, too, there were
less people in Chicago who bought
stolen goods, and it was a compara-
tively easy matter to trace anything
lost through the pocket-picking proc-
ess.
There was a time when the Eng-
lish were considered the most expert
in this branch of crime, but that is
no longer an existing condition. A
crowd of English crooks came to this
country a couple of years ago. They
got no further than New York, which
has the system of apprehending pro-
fessional crooks boiled down to a
fine art. This party included four of
the wiliest and most skillful pick-
pockets of London and the continent.
The New York police caught them
all, one after another, so rapidly that
they were dazed. The same kind of
performance occurred when a party
of German thieves landed in Phila-
delphia. The thieves were arrested
very quickly after they began op-
erations, one of them being caught
with seven watches on his person.
In the cases of most thieves who
ply their calling between New York
and Chicago and other of the larger
cities the process of making the de-
tectives acquainted with the criminals
makes it difficult for any well-knot* n
crook to be in the city any length
of time without being recognized and
watched. For instance, at the Har-
rison Street station or the old cen-
tral detail, now housed at the Des-
plaines Street station, the criminals
and suspicious persons picked up dur-
ing the night are held until morning
for scrutiny and possible Identifica-
tion by the detectives, a simple proc-
ess that has for some time been in
vogue.
“John Smith,” for example, the In-
spector, lieutenant or sergeant in
charge of the operations, would call
out in gruff, imperious tones: "Hold
up your right hand.” The Individual
addressed on one such instance re-
cently, a dapper, well-dressed young
man with a narrow face and bright,
ratty eyes, had raised his hand high
in the air. Then the inspector had
repeated: “John Smith, pickpocket,
works the surface cars and bridge
entrances.”
To Smith was thereupon addressed an
inquiry as to who was his partner.
He pointed out another youthful, but
rather more roughly dressed fellow
in the crowd. This “dipper” was or-
dered over to stand beside Smith.
By this process the detectives were
enabled not alone to fasten in their
memories the faces of the two of-
fenders individually, but to associate
them with each other, and in this
manner simplify the task of picking
them out in future.
Everybody brought into this cham-
ber of sifting is photographed and
measured by the Bertillon system,
after which all hands are taken to
court to be turned loose by the va-
rious police magistrates, many of
whom seem disinclined to hold pris-
oners of this type on a vagrancy
charge or to remand them for further
examination with a view to adding
to their discomforts, and thus en-
couraging them to seek fresh fields
and pastures new. It is the aim and
purpose of all police orders that this
class be apprehended whenever and
wherever they turn up.
Some women engage in the work
of picking pockets, but that sex is
not so commonly found nowadays as
formerly. It used to be that such
women, when they wfere not en-
gaged in shoplifting, plied their vo-
cation on the street cars and other
crowded places, usually with a male
companion. That was straight pick-
pocketing. The business is now done
after dark, more often late at night,
by women who accost drunken men
or unsophisticated strangers and back
them up against a fence or lead them
into a vacant hall, ostensibly for con-
versational purposes. Then they
start in to fondle their victims, and
it is all over.
Some of these women are so very
clever that when they have suc-
ceeded in removing a man's bank roll
they manage to replace it with a bun-
dle of blank paper so familiar in di-
mensions to the money they have ab-
stracted that he cannot tell the differ-
ence by touching the spurious roll
from the outside. There are both
white and black women in this branch
of thieving, and they are a busy lot.
When one of them has landed the
prize she has been after she makes
a sign—usually in the form of a
cough—and a man or another wom-
an steps smartly up and “splits her
out” from her prey.
A Pinkerton man, who has spent
most of his life in finding out the
habits of criminals, says of the new
generation of pickpockets: “In Chi-
cago there are several classes of
pickpockets, the newest of which,
perhaps, is made up of the boys who
operate in State street and in the
theater districts when audiences are
leaving the various playhouses.
These are ostensibly newsboys, cry-
ing the hardy serial with flaunting
red headlines. Their scheme is to
push the papers up into the faces of
pedestrians, and, while under cover
of the ruse, they 'get off the fronts'
of the dupes, who either stop to buy
the paper or who cannot escape the
onslaughts of the persistent young-
sters.
"For instance .a well-dressed man
with a woman companion may be
emerging from a theater slowly fas-
tening his coat. A boy rushes up to
him and pesters him with a paper,
so that he becomes irritable and
angry. He growls at the lad. but
that does not bother his tormentor.
Having centered the attention of the
gentleman upon the newspaper in
his left hand, the boy siips his right
hand underneath the ‘extra’ and in
an Instant is in possession of a watch
and sometimes a chain. These young
sters go mainly for fobs, which are
more easily acquired than the other
sort, but they are sufficiently skill-
ful to take watch, chain and ail when
it is convenient or necessary.
“This line of thieving has been de
veloped mainly during the last 18
months, and it has been carried to
such a pass that the public ought to
be warned to keep a sharp vigil when
unduly pressed to buy a paper.
“In the street cars there are vari-
ous methods of working, and it is
seldom that less than three or four
operators ply their trade together*
If there Is a mob of four only one of
them engages in the actual work of
depriving the ‘mark’ of his or her
valuables. The thief is called the
‘tool,’ and the others are known as
‘stall.’ Quite often a woman Is em-
ployed as a ’’stall.’ By some secret ,
code of signals the ’mark’ is de- |
cided upon and the woman picks a
fuss with him, either accusing him
of trying to flirt with her or exclaim-
ing that he has clumsily stepped upon
her foot. Then, when he is busy with
his expostulations, the others crowd
about him menacingly and the ‘tool’
takes his money and jewelry.
“The best pickpockets do not work
as a rule in what are known as the
rush hours on the elevated and «ur
face lines—the hours, that is to say,
when workingmen, clerks and sales-
women are going to and from fheii
homes. It is the theater crcwd or
the crowd going to the races that at-
tracts the pickpockets, who are after
the people that have money, not those
of slender incomes.”
Pickpockets, like other criminals,
rarely have any money when they
come to lay down the cares of s
busy life. The only noteworthy in-
stance to the contrary was that of a
! famous pickpocket known as "Gold
I Tooth Kid,” who died five years ago,
| and whose efforts for the “relief” ol
humanity were largely confined to
New York, although he had graced
Chicago and other large cities with
his presence at various periods of his
career. But in addition to picking
pockets he had worked with the
They are making paper and a
whole lot of other things out of cot-
ton stalks nowadays, and it is about
the time that some of our friends
came to the rescue with a process for
making the wrapping for cotton bales
out of this hitherto waste and wasted
product. There is plenty of fiber In the
outside skin of the Btaiks to give it
the requisite strength, and as to a
filler to give body and substance to
the bagging, the colton stalk offers a
world of material of the finest sort.
Nature has left a pretty strong hint
that the stalk should be utilized for
making wrappings for the fruit of the
> Ialk. and we should get in touch with
a process at once. The price of the
jute hugging we have been using for
fo man)* years is constantly going up
and the quality of the bagging Is con-
stantly going down, and If we sit down
end wait for something to turn up
much longer, we will find ourselves
without the need of anything turning
\ p. Let our inventive men get busy
as the slang of the day puts it, and
make good with the cotton stalk for
wrapping the bale.
only a lot of morning glories, cypress
vines and a few moonflowers, would
pay a thousandfold for the trouble,
and it would not cost a cent of money,
and the time need not be taken from
Borne other duty, for flowers are the
most accommodating thing' on earth,
for they ure willing to be put off till
you happen to be “not busy,” for a
while on a rainy or threatening morn-
ing. The difference between a civil-
ized man and a savage is marked by
the fact that the civilized man raises
things, and his degree of civilization
is reckoned by the sort of things ha
raises.
JOHN henry
PLAYS PROGRESSIVE EUCURE.
By HUGH McHUGH
(GtORGb Y. HOBART]
Look here, you mean man, why don’t
vou get into the confidence of your
boys and girls. Let them, know that
they are a part of the family and
must take a share in the responsibil-
ities and achievements of the family?
Get good right now and take your sons
and daughters into the active partner-
ship in the firm. There is no stimu-
lant or exertion in being a silent part-
ner in a firm which never declares any
dividends. Then if you are so awfully
smart as you want your neighbors to
think you are, get busy and declare
a dividend occasionally, and pay it
over to the other co-workers In your
family firm.
This is a day of newspapers and
, magazines. The old curmudgeon who
I "can’t afford to waste money on new*-
| papers” is dead. So far as his good
works were concerned, he might have
I been always dead. Let the family keep
in touch with the world, and they
j won’t be afraid of the world. People
I have quit blowing out the gas nowa-
days, and they don’t put the electric
globe in the bureau drawer to keep
down a light they couldn’t sleep In
any more. That is all gone with the i,raH'8
man who "can’t afford to waste "Lovely
money on newspnpers.” j ain’t it?”
trump?”
"ONE OF THG8E PROGR E881VE KUCHRE FIGHTS."
Every now and then we take a shot
at the man who does nothing to help
Ms wife and daughters to beautify
the home place. It is a sad thing to
reckon up the large number of farm
houses that have not a single beauti-
ful or even attractive thing around
them. An hour spent in planting and
wiring, or placing some strings for
vs
L.U*'
“yeggs” or “hobo” thieves and was a
versatile criminal. He was an Eng-
lishman by birth, and of thrifty hab-
its, which is a condition not at al
usual.
Counteracting the Effects.
“Jack, you are an ardent devotee of
baseball,* I notice."
“No; but after I’ve talked golf al)
afternoon I like to read about two col-
umns of baseball talk to rest my head."
—Judge.
MARK THE DISTINCTION.
The Farmers’ Union is, in no de-
gree. a political party, neither can it
ever become a political party. This
does not mean that its members are
not to take an interest In politics at
all. Indeed, it is not only the privi-
lege, but it is the duty of every good
citizen to take a keen interest in the
politics of his country. It is an end-
less struggle to be free, both indus-
Uially and politically. The Farmers’
Union is an industrial organization
and, as such, can not become, of It-
self, a political party. This method
for the emancipation of the produc-
ers has been tried before and found
wantrr^ PolU*c* parties, is only
a means to an end. We only need
politics as a means to help along the
industrial movement. A proper ex-
change of the producer’s products is
what we must have, if we would be
free, from the blighting curse of the
speculator. In order to get this prop-
er exchange of products the means of
exchange must be properly handled.
No transportation monopoly should
be permitted to pile up millions of un-
earned money at'the expense of the
producer, thus preventing a proper
distribution, a proper exchange of pro-
ducts. ’it is the duty of the producer
to look after this matter in a busi-
ness way and, having all power In his
THE JOURNAL IS RIGHT.
The Journal, for one, is not going
to try to make out a clean case for
the Farmers' Union by telling the
world that there are no grafters in
cur beloved order. We regret ex-
ceedingly to say it. but there are some
of the smoothest, most unprincipled
scoundrels seeking to work their
grafts' upon the Farmers’ Union that
e* er managed to keep out of jail. And
their scoundrellsm appears all the
blacker when we remember that the
class of people upon whose backs they
ate trying to ride is the unsuspecting
class, the trusting class, the work-
ing class.the class that has almot been
ridden to death already. Sometimes
we nearly boll over.—Abilene Farm-
ers' Journal.
INCLUDE SOM & DAILY PAPER.3
The Houston Post asks, “What
right have the packers to make hun-
dreds of millions of dollars? How do
they manage it? All the cattle men of
the country are not making hundreds
One night recently I went out with
Clara Jane to one of those progres-
sive euchre fights.
It waH my first time up before the
judge, and I felt as nervous as a new
servant girl.
Clara Jane introduced mo to the
bunch, and I drew a tall lady who had
lived in Chicago for many years and
didn’t know what to do about It.
I saw that I was out to get bumped
If I didn’t forget my fears and talk
braced and began to cut
weather were having,
I observed. "What's the
Now, see here, you old duffer, who
claims to be "a good farmer," but who
has left all your tools out in the sun-
shine and the rain, quit lying to your-
self, and get them under shelter at
once. You owe it to your family to
take care of the tools and implements
so that the money that ought to be
spent in buying the necessities and
comforts of civilization need not be
spent in replacing the things you have
shiftlessly thrown away. Babe?
Before this paper is read, the cotton
school in Dallas will be In full swing,
and the indications are that tt will
be a big thing for those who have
cared to take the time to learn how
to handle and classify cotton. The
man who has his heart, in the work
wants to know all about his own busi-
ness, and this Is an opportunity to
learn something that every cotton-
raiser ought to know.
hands, he can do whatever he
io do. The only reason why he does
not do this, is, because he has not had
a perfect understanding. He pays for
the construction and the operation of
the means of transportation and then
permits the “owners” to levy tribute
from him which makes a proper ex-
change, in many cases, entirely out of
the question. The producers should
look after this matter in a business
way. If It becomes necessary, In or-
der that we make a proper exchange,
of products, to build a few railroads,
or as many as we need, we can do It.
Wo have built all the other roads, and
we can build a few more If necessary.
Yes, Indeed, with a perfect understand-
ing. we can do all things necessary to
be done for our advancement. When
the great National Farmers’ Union,
composed of the best men of all the
States, meets and decides on a busi-
ness course, in a business way as they
will do, then the whole world will Its.
ten. Such a meeting will be held in
Texarkana in September and it will
do its work in a business way.—Na-
tional Co-operator.
My partner was one of those old
things that never speak a line without
throwing a con goo-goo with the eye.
I was next in a minute.
She was one of the kind that’s anx-
ious to lead you away from your own
tootsie wootBle. In the hope that you
may have a spare bunch of sweet talk
you can hand her on the quiet.
Then she raises the window and
yells for a cheap minister.
I was anxious to have my sentence
expire with that dame, so I played a
swift game.
I ducked to my corner quick when
the gong sounded, hut I'm afraid the
round wt.s against me.
I’m not stiyck on myself—believe
me.
I consider myself about an eight to
five shot, and I feel that I can come
down the stretch with the rest of the
bunch without the whip.
So when I noticed that every time
I looked around the room I’d catch
that old fairy giving me the far-away
wants ' gaze I didn't know whether to puff up
The round ended with me on my
knees, but the bell saved me.
The old canary was still hunting
me up with eyes ablaze with love.
Oh! scold me! scold me! I’m suck
a devil among the has-beens.
For the next round I led out a coy
lassie who lisped.
She was good company till she
talked, then the chain broke.
I hate to have a girl plant her
pleading peepers on me and say:
"Wath trumpths, spadetli or clubth?”
Don't you?
In tho next I met a lady who dealt
out a bunch of remarks about her
baby boy, Jim.
Jim, she said, was now only 22
and get chesty, or hustle for my coat
and my top-piece and go home.
I My next partner was a giggler.
Say, boys, those giggling dames
are beyond the breakers, aren’t they?
I used to think that a girl giggled
because she was off her feed, but I’ve
since decided that they hand out those
chopped laughs because their brains
bounce around and they get a kink la
their conversational powers.
“WHEN IN DOUBT, GIGGLE.”
years old and was going through
Harvard.
I'll bet four dollars he was going
through her money most of the time.
At the finish of this round the old
relic with the sad lamps came up to
They have a motto which reads: . me and tapped me on the shoulder
“When In doubt, giggle!
The beauty bright who sat opposite
me In the second round giggled by
note.
Every time she played a card she
giggled, and when she wapn’t playing
she was fixing her valves for another
outburst.
The bell found me groggy at the
end of the second round.
The old hen with the languishing
lamps was still on niy trail.
The next time 1 went to the center
I was matched with a married lady
“Set your price and never, under
any circumstances sell It for less.” is
the advice of the spinners. We will I
take this good advice? Of course we j
will. It would certainly be a lack of
I intelligence not to do so.
FACTS ABOUT THE WHALE.
The main physical characteristics of
the whale are its distorted jaws, with
upward directed nostrils, its great bulk
and rudimentary limbs. The huge bulk
of the creature is driven forward by
the flexible caudal fin, and, while the
body is rigid in front, it exhibits great
mobility behind. The blow-holes are
placed on the top of the head, and the
animal can only respire when these are
abo"e water.
The larger whales travel at the rate
of about four miles an hour, but when
pursuing their prey, or goaded by pain,
they rush through the water at a much
greater pace. They are aided in this
by the broad and powerful tail, which
is their chief organ of locomotion. In-
stead of being vertical, as in the fishes,
this is horizontal, and the larges spe-
cies can command immense driving
power.
The tall is also used as an offensive
and defensive weapon. The smooth.
shining skin Is immediately underlaid
by a quick coating of blubber, the
great object of the whalers. This is at
once dense and elastic, and, while it
preserves the animal heat. It also
serves to reduce the mighty bulk of
the whale and to bring it nearer to the
specific gravity of the element in which
it spends its existence.
An interesting trait in the economy
, of the whale is the manner in which it
i suckles its young, says the Philadel-
! phia Press. In doing this it partly
I turns on its side, and the teats being
protruded, sucking and breathing can
| proceed simultaneously.
Naturalists divide the cetacea into
! two divisions, represented by the
i "whalebone” and "toothed” whales. In
! the former the teeth are replaced by a
series of great plates of a horny nature,
| and these, depending from the palate,
j constitute the baleen—the whalebone
of commerce. The laminae which com-
prise this, number about 500, are
ranged about two-thirda of an inch
apart, and have their interior edges
covered with fringes of hair. Some of
these attain to a length of 15 feet.
The cavity of a whale's mouth has
been likened to that of an ordinary
ship’s cabin, and Inside the surface
conveys the idea of being covered with
a thick fur. The soft, spongy tongue
is often a monstrous mass ten feet
broad and 18 feet long. It m^ht be
thought that the whale, with its vast
bulk, would want sea creatures to
nourish it; but this is not so. Its chief
food consists of minute mollusks, and
with these Its immense pasture grounds
in the northern seas abound. In con
nectlon with these will be seen the
beauty of the mouth structure. “Open-
ing its huge mouth,” Bays Prof. Hux-
ley, "and allowing the sea water, with
its multitudinous tenants, to fill the
oral cavity, the whale shuts the lower
Jaw upon the baleen plates, and, strain-
ing out the water through them, swal-
lows the prey stranded on its tongue."
of millions of dollars.” Mind what
you are butting Into. Mr. Post. Some-
tody might ask what right a banker
or merchant has to make a hundred
thousand dollars In little place like
Houston or Abilene, while. it takes j
such an army of average fanners all [
put together to be worth that much. :
You’d better look where you’re going
— Farmers’ Journal.
MERCURY MUSINGS.
The opening of the cotton seasoa
ot 1906 ought to find the farmers of
the South, and of Texas particularly,
solidly organized and determined to
have a fair price fpr the product of
Ql
POETRY AND TALKED
ABOUT IT."
who talked about her husband all the
while. •
th<>ip law «r Every time she opened her mouth
their labor. Cotton I. worth 15c per Bhe cooked up a freH„ batch of hot
pound, and If the farmers will stand
COOPERATOR CHATS.
If you are not doing all you can do
foi the cause, you are not doing your
full duty, and not living up to your
privilege. It is certainly a great priv-
ilege to work for so great a cause.
11 was a sad day for "the Farmers'
Union when the first local was organ-
ized in an incorporated city. Practi-
cally all the trouble we have ever had,
has come from the members of city |
locals, haring, perhaps, five or six
members.
The producers should, by comblna-j
tlon, do everything necessary to be
done for themselves. We should ask
the other felldw for nothing. We are
the people.
A man who would get in the way
of the onward progress of this great
movement Is meaner than the man
who would scuttle a ship for a quar
ter.
"We will adapt ourselves to your
price," say the spinners. What else
do we want? A National Convention
Is goon to get this price.
up
air about Ous. •
“Oh! my Gus is Just the loveliest
fellow that ever lived!—whose play
o „ . I is it? Mine! Don’t you know, Gus
• i.i) B > secretary, ona ^ t n |«ggtMt side combs
w o wi a waj» attend promptly and ' yesterday, pure tortoise shell with
fake a real pride in giving careful real rhlne stones—is it my play?
punctual service, is a matter of vital j What’s trumps? Gus is always so
importance to success of any union ' thoughtful; he never comes home
Chronic poverty—except in Isolated from buH,ne8S without bringing me
Individual t awes is due to the fact a box*of cmndy or »‘>methlng-;ls
with her fan.
“Oh! you naughty, naughty boy!”
she peeped, “can’t you see I’m awful-
ly angry at you!”
"I don’t know,” I said; "I’m from
Missouri—so you’ll have to show
me!”
“I haven't enjoyed any game this
evening one-half as much as that first
one.” she said.
Then It all flashed over me, and l
was off the griddle in a minute.
She was Pat Crowe In disguise, and
I was on the list to be kidnaped.
I side-stepped and found Clara
Jane.
“Take me home!” I said; "this so-
ciety life Is killing me.”
Clara Jane is a wise guyine.
She could tell from the startled
fawn eye I gave her that I wanted to
pull out of the siding and hit the main
line for home.
She crawled Into her wraps and we
left the mob just as all hands were
paddling off to the ice cream trough.
No more progressive things for me.
I know when the clock strikes 12.
Hereafter when they say society
I’ll duck. Me! to the housetops! Me!
to the dense forest!
When I feel that it's up to me to
dissipate I’ll sit up with a long black
bottle till I see and hear things that I
can throw the chairs at without being
called Impolite.
Yours, in a spirit of brotherly love
—believe me!
(Copyright, 1901, by G.
JOHN HENRY.
W. Dillingham Co.)
together they will surely get it.
And don’t forget that the election
that the producers receive such a
small share of the wealth which they
create.
If we do not wish to call It a trust,
we can call It an understanding
The whole world Is converted as to
the justness of our cause.
Politics is simply the reflex of eco-
nomic conditions, and men are active
in politics, primarily, to advance their
material welfare.
The farmer who raises his own
bread and meat and fruit and veget-a-
l ies, and makes cotton his surplus
money crop, is In a position to holfl
his cotton until the price suits him.
The farmers have never caused any
trouble and never will. It is the man
really my play?”
Wouldn’t it make you worse?
Her Gus! I’ll bet he's an old
shrimp with billy-goat whiskers, and
every time she goes near him he says
"Me-ya-aaa!” and kicks her on the
shins.
I was hugging the ropes when the
bell sounded.
My next partner was a dark-eyed
damsel who was engaged to marry a
long legged shadow at the table be-
hind her, and she almost cracked her
throat trying to rubber at him and
play cards at the same time.
This round was tame.
I went In for the fifth round with a
lady who wrote poetry and talked
about it for a living.
site put us wiit b. tta' fact that
Tennyson couldn't play in her yard,
v ho farms with his mouth who causes i and that Edgar Allan Poe was a piker
♦ ho ♦ rrtnhlo j compared w,(h her
the trouble.
The workers must support the
tramp and the loafer cheaply, and the
high-toned idler in lavish luxury. But
for the parasites, rich and poor, tho
workers would all enjoy abundance.
She said shp had done a little tid-
bit, entitled "Papa's Tide is Rising
Slowly, and the Gas Bill’s Overdue”
that was destined to wake the world.
I asked her If she couldn’t please
let the world sleep, and play cards,
Worst Liver Trouble of All.
“I have suffered from a disordered
liver for a good many years now,”
complained the sad little wife.
“Why don’t you take something for
it?” queried the sympathetic friend,
quickly.
"Oh, it isn't -my liver,” replied the
little sad wife., “It's my husband'*.”
—N. Y. Sun.
Con-
Mere Matter of Faith.
“How fur is it ter de land e
tent?"
"It’s ’coru.n’ ter how much faith
you got. Ef you think you la it, dar-
you is. En ef you don’t—well, it’s
ten miles furder on!”—Atlanta Const!-.
tution.
VERY FOOLISH.
Mr. Caterpillar—Those people must
be awfully silly to label that plant
"poisonous." We caterpillars kuow
and she ntung me with her cruel eyes, what is good for us.
I
V
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Keyes, Chester A. The Canadian Valley News. (Jones City, Okla.), Vol. 6, No. 9, Ed. 1 Friday, July 20, 1906, newspaper, July 20, 1906; Jones, Oklahoma Territory. (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc860524/m1/3/: accessed March 29, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.