South Pottawatomie Progress. (Asher, Okla.), Vol. 2, No. 23, Ed. 1 Thursday, August 22, 1912 Page: 2 of 8
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^RUPERT HUGHES
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8YNOP6I8.
It couldn’t be,” Mrs. Jimmie mused.
'Things can be sometimes,” said
the porter.
_ Lieut. Harry Mallory Is ordered to the
Philippines, He ecd Marjorie Newton
oeclde to elope, but wreck of taxicab pre-
vents their seeing minister on the way to
the train. Transcontinental train Is tak-
ing on passengers Porter has a lively
time with an Englishman and Ira Lath-
rop. a Yankee business man. The elopers
have an exciting time getting to the
train. ”Uttle Jimmie" Wellington, bound
for Reno to gel a divorce, boards train
In maudlin condition. Later Mrs. Jimmie
appears She la also bound for Reno with
same object. Likewise Mrs. Sammy Whit-
comb. Latter blames Mrs. Jimmie for
her marital troubles Classmates of Mal-
lory decorate bridal berth. Rev. and Mrs.
Temple start on a vacation. They decide
to cut loose and Temple removes evidence
of his calling Marjorie decides to let
Mallory proceed alone, but train starts
while they are lost In farewell. Passen-
gers Join Mallory’s classmates In giving
Couple wedding naxlng Marjorie Is dis-
tracted. Ira Lathrop. woman-hating
bachelor, discovers an old sweetheart.
Anne Qattle. a fellow passenger. MaJ-
lory vainly hunts for a preacher among
•he passenger*
CHAPTER XIII.
Hostilities Begin.
During Mallory’s absence, Marjorie j
had met with a little adventure of
her own. Ira Lathrop finished his re-
encounter with Anne Gattle shortly
after Mallory set out stalking clergy-
men. In the mingled confusion of
finding hla one romantic flame still
glowing on a vestal altar, and of
shocking her with an escape of pro-
fanity, he backed away from her pres-
ence, and sank Into his own berth.
He realized that he was not alone.
Somebody was alongside. He turned
to find the great tear-spent eyes of
Marjorie staring at him. He rose
with a recrudescence of his woman-
hating wrath, and dashing up the
aisle, found the porter Just returning
from the baggage car. He seized the
black factotum and growled:
"Say, porter, there's a woman In
my berth.”
The porter chuckled, incredulous:
“Woman In yo' berth!”
“Yes—get her out.”
“Yassah,” the porter nodded, and
advanced on Marjorie with a gentle,
“ ’Scuse me, missus—yo’ berth is num-
bs one.”
“I don’t care,” snapped Marjorie.
“I won’t take it”
“But this un belongs to that gentle-;
man.”
"He can have mine—ours—Mr. Mal-
lory’s,” cried Marjorie, pointing to
the white-ribboned tent In the tarther
end of the car. Then the gripped the
arms of the seat, as If defying evic-
tion. The porter stared at her In
helpless chagrin. Then he shuffled
back and murmured: "1 reckon you’d
betta put her out.”
Lathrop withered the coward with
one contemptuous look, and strode
down the aisle with a determined
grimness. He took his ticket from
his pocket as a clinching proof of his
title, and thrust it out at Marjorie.
She gave It one indifferent glance, and
then her eyes and mouth puckered, as
if she had munched a green persim-
mon, and a long low wall like a dis-
tant engine-whistle, stole from her
lips. Ira Lathrop stared at her in
blank wrath, doddered Irresolutely,
and roared:
"Agh, let her have It!”
The porter smiled triumphantly, and
said: "She says you kin have her
berth ” He pointed at the bridal ar-
bor. Lathrop almost exploded at the
idea.
”You may make up my berth now,”
said Mrs. Wellington, forgetting that
Anne Gattle was still there. Mrs.
Wellington hastened to apologize, and
begged her to stay, but the spinster
wanted to be far away from the dis-
turbing atmosphere of divorce. She
was dreaming already with her eyes
open, and she sank into number six
in a lotus-eater's reverie.
Mrs. Wellington gathered certain
things together and took up her hand-
bag, to return to the Women’s Room,
Just as Mrs. Whitcomb came forth
fr9m the curtains of her own berth,
where she had made certain prelim-
inaries to disrobing, and put on a
light, decidedly negligee negligee.
The two women collided in the
aisle, whirled on one another, as wom-
en do when they Jostle, recognized
each other with wild stares of amaze-
ment, set their teeth, and made a
simultaneous dash along the corridor,
shoulder wrestling with shoulder.
They reached the door marked
"Women" at the same Instant, and as
neither would have dreamed of offer-
ing the other a courtesy, they
squeezed through together tn a Kil-
kenny Jumble.
CHAPTER XIV.
The Dormitory on Wheels.
Of all the shocking Institutions in
human history, the sleeping car Is the
most shocking—or would be, If we
were not so used to It. There can be
no doubt that we are the most moral
nation on earth, for we admit It our-
selves. Perhaps we prove It, too, by
the Arcadian prosperity of these two-
story hotels on wheels, where mis-
cellaneous travelers dwell In com-
plete promiscuity, and sleep almost
side by side, In apartments, or com-
partments, separated only by a plank
and a curtain, and guarded only by
one sleepy negro.
After the fashion of the famous
j hitherto, been reserved for the meet
' Intimate and legalized relations.
The porter was deftly transforming
the day-coach into a narrow lane en-
tirely surrounded by draperies. Behind
most of the portieres, fluttering In the
lightest breeze,’ and perilously follow-
ing the hasty passer-by, homely of-
fices were being enacted. The popu-
lation of this little town was going to
bed The porter was putting them to
sleep as If they were children in a
nursery, and he a black mammy.
The frail walls of little sanctums
were bulging with the bodies of peo-
ple disrobing in the aisle, with noth-
ing between them and the beholder’s
eye but a clinging curtain that ex-
plained what it did not reveal. From
apertures here and there disembodied
feet were protruding and mysterious
hands were removing shoes and other
things.
Women In risky' attire were scoot-
ing to one end of the car, and men in
shirt sleeves, or less, were hastening
to the other.
When Mallory returned to the
"Snowdrop,” his ear was greeted by
the thud of dropping shoes. He found
Marjorie being rapidly Immured, like
Poe’s prisoner, in a Jail of closing
walls.
She was unspeakably 111 at ease,
and by the irony of custom, the one
person on whom she depended for pro-
tection was the one person whose
contiguity was most alarming—and
all for lack of a brief trlalogue, with
a clergyman, as the tertium quid.
When Mallory’s careworn face ap-
peared round the edge of the partition
now erected between her and the
abode of Dr. and Mrs. Temple, Mar-
jorie shivered anew, and asked with
all anxiety:
“Did you find a minister?"
Perhaps the Recording Angel over-
looked Mallory’s answer: “Not a
damn minister.”
When he dropped at Marjorie's side
I she edged away from him, pleading:
"Oh, what shall we do?"
He answered dismally and Inef-
fectively: "Weil have to go on pre-
tending to be—Just triends.”
"But everybody thinks we're mar-
ried.”
“That’s so!" he admitted, with the
imbecility of fatigued hope. They sat
a while listening to the porter slip-
ping sheets into place and thumping
pillows Into cases, a few doors down
the street. He would be ready for
them at any moment. Something must
be done, but what? what?
CHAPTER XV.
A Premature Divorce.
Suddenly Marjorie’s heart gave a
leap of Joy. She was having another
Idea. “I’ll tell you, Harry. Weil pre-
tend to quarrel, and then—"
“And then you can leave me in hlgn
dudgeon."
The ruse struck him as a trifle un-
convincing. “Don’t you think It looks
"QUICK—HIDE HIM—HURRY1” SHE GASPED.
Now he felt a hand on his shoulder,
and turned to see Little Jimmie Well-
ington emerging from hla berth with
an enormous smile:
“Say, Pop, have you seen lovely
rice-trap? Stick around till she flops.’
But Lathrop flung away to the
smoking room. Little Jimmie turned
to the Jovial negro:
"Porter, porter.”
“I'm right by you.”
"What time d’you say we get to
Reno?”
"Mawnln' of the fo’th day, sah."
’’Well, call me Just before we roll
In ”
And he rolled In. Ills last words
floated down the aisle and met Mrs.
Little Jimmie^ Wellington Just return-
ing trom the’Women’s Room, where
she had sought nepenthe in more than
one of her exquisite little cigars. The
familiar voice, familiarly bibulous,
smote her ear with amazement. She
beckoned the porter to her anxiously.
“Porter! Porter! Do you know
the name of the man who Just hur-
ried In?”
"No’m,” said the porter. "I reckon
he's so broken up he ain't got any
name left "
country whose Inhabitants earned a
meager sustenance by taking In each
other's washing, so in Sleeping Car-
pathla we attain a meager respecta-
bility by everybody’s chaperoning
everybody else.
So topsy-turvled, Indeed, are our
notions, once we are aboard a train,
that the staterooms alone are regard-
ed with suspicion; we question the
motives of those who must have a
room to themselves!—a room with a
real door! that locks! !
And, now, on this sleeping car, pret-
tily named “Snowdrop,” scenes were
enacting that would have thrown our
great grandmothers into tits—scenes
which, If we found them In France, or
Japan, we should view with alarm as
almost unmentionable evidence of the
moral obliquity of those nations.
But this was our own country—the
part of It which admits that It Is the
best part—the moralest part, the
staunch middle west. This was Illi-
nois. Yet dozens of cars were behold-
ing similar Immodesties in chastest
Illinois, and all over the map, thou-
sands of people. In hundreds of cars,
were permitting total strangers to
view preparations which have always
kind of improbable on—on—such an
occasion?"
Marjorie blushed, and lowered her
eyes and her voice: "Can you sug-
gest anything better?”
"No, but—”
"Then, we’ll have to quarrel, darl-
ing.”
He yielded, for lack of a better
Idea: "All right, beloved. How shall
we begin?”
On close approach, the Idea did
seem rather impossible to her. "How
could 1 ever quarrel with you, my
love?” she cooed.
He gazed at her with a rush of
lovely tenderness: "And how could 1
ever speak crossly to you?”
"We never shall have a harsh word,
shall we?” she resolved.
“Never!" he seconded. So that
resolution passed the house unani-
mously.
They held hands In luxury a while,
then she began again: "Still, we must
pretend. You start It, love."
"No. you start It,” he pleaded
"You ought to," she beamed. "You
got me Into this mess.”
The word slipped out Mallory
started: "Mess! How lg It my fault?
Good Lord, are you going to begin
chucking it up?"
"Well, you must admit, darting,”
Marjorie urged, "that you’ve bungled
everything pretty badly."
It was so undeniable that he could
only groan: “And I suppose I’ll hear
of this till my dying day, dearest."
Marjorie had a little temper all her
own. So she defended It: “If you are
so afraid of my temper, love, perhaps
you’d better call It all off before it’s
too late.”
“I didn’t say anything about your
temper, sweetheart,” Mallory insisted.
- "You did, too, honey. You said I'd
chuck this up till your dying day. As
If I had such a disposition! You can
stay here." She rose to her feet. He
pressed her back with a decisive mo-
tion, and demanded: “Where are you
going?”
“Up In the baggage car wltn
Snoozleums,” she sniffled. “He's the
only one that doesn't find fault with
me.”
Mallory was stung to action by this
crisis: "Walt,” he said. He leaned
out and motioned down the alley.
“Porter! Walt a moment, darling.
Porter!"
The porter arrived with a half-fold-
ed blanket In his hands, and his usual
"Yassah!"
Beckoning him closer, Mallory mum-
bled In a low tone: “Is there an ex- ,
tra berth on this car?”
The porter’s eyes seemed to re-
buke his ears. “Does you want this
upper made up?"
“No—of course not."
“Ex—excuse me, I thought—”
“Don’t you dare to think!” Mallory
thundered. “Isn’t there another low-
er berth?” *
The porter breathed hard, and gave
this bridal couple up as a riddle that
followed no known rules. He went to
find the sleeping car conductor, and
returned with the Information that
the diagram showed nobody assigned
to number three.
“Then I’ll take number three,” said
Mallory, poking money at the porter.
And still the porter could not under-
stand.
“Now, lemme onderstan’ you-all,"
he stammered. "Does you both move
over to numba three, or does yo’—yo’
lady remain heah, while Jest you pre-
ambulates?"
“Just I preambulate, you black
hound!" Mallory answered, In a
threatening tone. The porter could i
understand that, at least, and he j
bristled away with a meek: "Yessah. !
Numba three Is yours, sah.”
The troubled features of the baf- i
fled porter cleared up as by magic
when he arrived at number three, for
there he found his tyrant and tor-
mentor, the English Invader.
He remembered how Indignantly
Mr. Wedgewood had refused to show
his ticket, how cocksure he was of I
his number, how he had leased the |
porter's services as a sort of private }
nurse, and had paid no advance roy- \
alttes.
(TO BE CONTINUED.)
—8peeoh Strangely Restored.
While attending a picture show In |
Melbourne, Victoria, recently, his j
speech and hearing began to return to I
a young man who, during the previous |
harvest season, had lost both these ;
faculties through fear. While engaged
In harvesting operations In the Hor-
sham district, he trod on a big black
snake, which Immediately colled It-
self around his leg. He was not bitten
by the reptile, but was nevertheless
greatly alarmed, so much so that he
went Into a fit, under the Influence of
which he remained for some time, and
then lost the powers of speech and
hearing. The scenes depicted at the
picture show were of a thrilling char-
acter, and on the following day he
could utter a few words. Subsequent-
ly Ills speech was restored completely j
Speaking Conscientiously.
Senator La Follette during his re-
cent visit to Philadelphia said to a
reporter, apropos of a flagrant piece
of hypocrisy:
“Why, the man's as bad as a New
port groom I heard of the other day
“This groom stood beside his mas-
ter while a veterinary examined a
costly cob. The veterinary, at the
end of his examination, pronounced
the cob incurable and took leave
Then the master, sighing heavily,
turned to the groom and said:
“ ‘Well. James, what am I to do
with the poor beast now?'
“ ‘Conscientiously speakin', sir,' the
groom replied, ‘I think you'd better
part with him now to another gentle-
man. sir.’ ”
Worse Than English Sparrow.
Rabbits were originally Introduced
Into Australia by a squatter, near Mel j
bourne, who thought that the sight of
them would remind him of home. They j
did, but they cost him $250,000 be-
fore they were done with him, and
that little reminiscence Is costing the
colonies $3,500,000 per annum. A
pair of rabbits In five years are capa
ble of producing a progeny of 20,000,
000, and in Australia they seem to
have acted up to their capacity.
Diplomatic.
"AH women are beautiful." de-
clares the leading photographer of
England That's why he’s the leading
photographer.
NATURALLY.
Hlx—Wlgson looks bo sheepish
lately.
Dix—No wonder. He’s raising mut-
tonchop whiskers.
In the Meantime.
There had been a row at recess
tlme, and Miss Martin had called In s;
all of the pupils, and had a sort of
a school court, which lasted until time
for school to be dismissed. The trou-
ble had started with some of the older
boys in a misunderstanding over a
game. After hearing both sides of
the question, she decided proper pun-
ishment for the combatants, and told
them to remain in their sesrts after
the others had gone home. She re-
membered something she wanted to
say to a little boy who did not take
part in the affray, so she turned to
him and said:
"Now, in the meantime, Guy—”
"I wasn’t in it. Miss Martin,” Guy
Interrupted hastily.
“Wasn’t in what?” asked Miss Mar-
tin.
"Why, in the mean time,” said the
eight-year-old. — Mack’s National
Monthly.
Wanted Minute Evidence.
Orfla, the celebrated doctor, being
examined as an “expert" on a capital
trial, was asked by the president
whether he could tell what quantity
of arsenic was required to kill a fly.
The doctor replied:
“Certainly, M. le President. But
I must know beforehand the age of
the fly, Its sex, its temperament, its
condition and habit of body, whether
married or single, widow or spinster,
widower or bachelor. When satisfied
on these points I can answer your
question.”
More Time Needed.
“You must get three weeks’ vaca-
tion this year.”
“Why?"
“Two weeks aren't enough.”
"They’re all I can get.”
“I don’t care. You’ve got to have
three. Last year I had to come home
with two new dresses that I hadn’t
had time to wear.”
Business Practice.
“The new actor in this company
certainly knows how to act on peo-
ple’s feelings with fine touches.”
"Yes; he used to be a dentist.”
It is sometimes a good plan to be
sure the other fellow is right—then
follow in his footsteps.
A wife is supposed to be a man's
better half, but sometimes she turns
out to be his bitter half.
The average man makes the mis-
take of overestimating his greatness.
------.
A Triumph
Of Cookery—
Post
T oasties
Many delicious dishes
have been made from
Indian Corn by the skill
and ingenuity of the ex-
pert cook.
But none of these crea-
tions excels Post Toast-
ies in tempting the palate.
Toasties” are a lux-
ury that make a delight-
ful hot - weather economy.
The first package tells
its own story.
“The Memory Lingers”
Sold by Grocer*.
J
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Putnam, Henrietta. R. South Pottawatomie Progress. (Asher, Okla.), Vol. 2, No. 23, Ed. 1 Thursday, August 22, 1912, newspaper, August 22, 1912; Asher, Oklahoma. (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc858984/m1/2/: accessed April 23, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.