The Oklahoma Miner (Krebs, Okla.), Vol. 10, No. 52, Ed. 1, Thursday, January 26, 1922 Page: 3 of 4
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THE OKLAHOMA MINER
Km Km wb h Gw Q' JKfrulf KIC'
A PARADE SPECIALIST
"Aunty what Is the namo of your
"Ah I Ho was named after the great
"No sah. He was named after
Major Napoleon Suggs de gen'leman
I used to cook for. I never heard of
de major leadln' nothln' but tho
Knights of Pythias but ho wuz pow-
erful good at dat."
No More Kidney Beans.
Mr. Four-year-old overheard his
grandmother lamenting the death of a
"Whnt was the matter with her?"
one of the family asked.
"Kidney trouble" wns the answer.
Mr. Four-year-old pondered a mo-
ment then said:
"No more kidney benns for me."
THIN FADED HAIR
TO THICKEN IT
35 cents buys a bottlo
of "Danderine." Within
ten minutes after the
first application you can
not find a single trace
of dandruff or falling
hair. Danderine Is to
the hair what fresh
showers of rain and
sunshine are to vegeta-
tion. It goes right to
tho roots Invigorates
and strengthens them
helping your hair to
grow long thick and
Girls I Girls 1 Don't let your hair
stay lifeless colorless thin hcraggy.
A single application of delightful Dan-
derlno will double tho beauty and ra-
diance of your hair and mnke It look
twice us abundant. Advertisement.
Mrs. Eandc But If you don't sub-
scrlbo to the Social Record aren't you
afraid they may leave your name out?
Mrs. Itorke My dear they can't.
They have to put me In anyway or
everybody In this town would think
their book a perfect fake. Columbus
(S. C.) State.
CHILD'S BOWELS WITH
CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP
AT THE CITY HALL
City Councilman (excitedly): We
can't get enough members together
to secure a vote.
City Councilwoman (coldly): Sev-
eral of the members have engage-
ments with their dressmakers so it
can't be helped.
That orator It gay
His pralso the whole world slngB
Who finds a different way
To say the same old things.
Not at All.
Housewife Are you afraid of work?
Tramp No ma'am. I can die down
by it and sleep the sleep of the Just.
Thompson What's the best speech
you've heard on the Industrial situa-
tion? Hudson More work and less talk.
Keeping Up His Penmanship.
"Wliut's the joke warden?"
"Thnt forger In cell 101 takes the
"Is he demanding n prlvato bath?"
"It wouldn't surprise me much If ho
did. lie wants to know if 111 let him
have n few blank checks a pen and a
bottle of Ink."
"I can hire brains for $23 n week"
said the man who Is aggressively pros-
perous." "In that case" rejoined Miss Cay-
enno "why don't you?"
Hickory in Autumn.
Hickories aro trees with bright yel-
low foliage that are decorative In Uio
autumn landscape says the American
Forestry Magazine. One or another
of the numerous species Is natlvo In
all sections of the easte.ni half of the
Derivation From the French.
The French for "What shall I say
of It t ' Is qu'en diral and thut has
been ( .-ruptod Into our word quandary.
Hurry mother 1 Even n sick child
loves tho 'fruity" tasto of "California
Fig Syrup" and it never falls to open
the bowels. A teaspoonful today may
prevent n sick child tomorrow. If con
stipated bilious feverish fretful has
cold colic or If stomach Is sour
tongue coated breath bad remember n
good cleansing of tho little bowels Is
often all that Is necessary.
Ask your druggist for genulno "Cali-
fornia Fig Syrup" which has directions
for babies and children of all ages
printed on bottle. Mother 1 You must
say "California' or you may get nn
Imitation llg syrup. Advertisement.
Recruit Was Waiting.
A naval recruit was heaving tho lead.
"What water have you got?" asked
tho ofllcer of the watch.
There was no reply.
"Come out of thntl" yelled the of-
ficer. "I'll show you how to heave tho
But just as he got tho lead on tho
swing he fell overboard. At that
moment the captain nppeared.
"What soundings?" ho asked.
"I dunno" said tho recruit; "an of-
ficer hns Just gone overboard to see
and he hasn't come up yet I"
Wo were out riding one moonlight
night and It soon became cloudy and
started to rain. Marlon nsked where
the moon had gone. I tried to explain
that tho clouds had come between the
moon and us but she wasn't satisfied
with that and offered her own expla-
nation. "I know where the moon Is. It went
under the cloud 'cnuse It didn't want
to get wet." Cleveland News Leader.
DISTEMPER AMONG HORSES Successfully Treated With
At this tlmo of year horn en ure liable to contract conlniclouit
dlaenses DISTBMI'Kll INFLUENZA COUOHH and COLDS A
a preventive aRiilnnt those1 nn occasional done of 'Hl'OHN'b"
la marvolounly effective. As a remedy far cairns already auffer
Ins "HrOHN'.S" la equally effective (live It na a preventive
Don't wait 60 cents and SI 20 per bottlo at drutr store.
BL'OIIN MKUICAIi COMl'ANY GOSUUN INDIANA
Some tourists who were being driv-
en through the Yosemlte valley asked
the driver If ho knew how old tho big
"Sure I know" ho answered.
"How old nro they then?"
"Threo thousand nnd six years goln'
on threo thousand and seven."
"How do you know the number so
"Well there was a smart yoi"ig
woman out here from Boston nnd she
said they was three thousand years
old nnd ns that was a little over six
years ago they must be goln' on threo
thoitsnnd and seven now." Harper's
How much easier It Is to buy things
on the Installment plan than it Is to
pay for them that wnyl
The Oldest V. C. Hero.
Sergt. George Itlchardson ninety
years old of Toronto Is tho oldest
V. C. hero. Ho placed a wreath on
the grave of America's unknown sol-
dier on Armistice day In behalf of
Canada's veterans. Queen Victoria
decorated him with the V. 0. for his
heroism In the Indian mutiny In 1858.
New Use for Antique Eggs.
"Good morning" said an English
housewlfo to her grocer. "I'd like an-
other dozen o' them eggs you sent mo
"Folks like 'cm "eh?" observed tho
"Never mind tho folks" she retort-
ed. "I want 'em for a special pur-
pose. They're going to get me let off
on a quarter's rent."
"Indeed 1 Aro you going to offer
your landlord some appetizing pan-
cakes?" "Not exactly" sho replied. "You
see It's this way. He's comln' round
this morning for tho money so If I
crack 'cm and hide cm In our back
yard It's ten to ono he'll cry quits
about the rent thlnkln' It's tho
drains." Boston Transcript.
There would he more wisdom In the
world If fathers know as much ns
their sons think they do.
Uses Radio Telephone.
The lire department chief In n New
Jersey city has equipped his automo-
bile with a radio telephone to en-
nble him to keep In touch with head-
quarters at all times.
Prayers of the man who prnyB for
himself alone piobnhly never get
higher than tho roof.
"Oh but you must not give up tho
presidency of our club. No other wom-
an could fill your shoes."
And strange to say the retiring lady
didn't seem to be pleased."
He Wants to Know.
"You ought to have some stock In my
"Whnt do you propose to grow
overshoes or rubber bands?"
SPEAKING OF THE FOOL FAMILY
"The fools are not all dead yet"
"Well you don't want to die Just
because the rest of your family aro
My fishing tackle I confess
Was Kot at much cxponso.
I am convinced that fish pobsosb
But slight artistic sense.
MA hammock looks something Hko
a spider's web."
"Yes" sighed Mr. Browbeaten
"That's tho way I got caught."
Most of us remember the story of Little Red Ridir Hood And
how when she went to visit her sick grandmother utte found a
savage wolf dressed up like her grandmother and in hor grand-
mother's bed but Little Red Riding Hood was wise and the
wolf didn't catch her.
It's hard to fool the people of the Southwest. In fact it can't be done.
But imitators still exist and just as the wolf tried to fool the little girl
into thinking he was some one else imitators in food products now
and then try to make folks think they have something "just as good.H
When it comes to cornflakes DON' T FORGET there's only one best
I fi f1 WuT 'w Funny lour Ears
I IF'ifi&i look Grandma"
I 1 v E"f-J
Years were required to perfect this wonderful corn food.
Eat these rich substantial flakes. Observe their crispness;
they do not crumble in the package and do not mush
down when cream or milk is added.
Be wise like Little Red Riding Hood and do
not accept a substitute for the real thing. ALWAYS
get your POST TOASTIES in the Yellow and
Made by Postum Cereal Company Inc
Battle Creek Michigan
ISuZAAjJI 1 a UL'M
1 S1inrl r- r-"fcr-
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Burton, Harry. The Oklahoma Miner (Krebs, Okla.), Vol. 10, No. 52, Ed. 1, Thursday, January 26, 1922, newspaper, January 26, 1922; (gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc70769/m1/3/: accessed November 21, 2018), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.