The Muskogee Cimeter. (Muskogee, Okla.), Vol. 9, No. 12, Ed. 1, Friday, December 20, 1907 Page: 3 of 8

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Simple Simon's Part in
a Christmas Dinner
F ANY of old Speckle's queerly
f assorted brood wore stepchll-
dren or only adopted she never
betrayed it by even so much
ns an upward roll of her eye. Truth
to tell old Speckle know as woll as
any one that her Inclination "to set"
had como at a slack egg season but
the maternal instincts thrilled her
and with u touching trust In. human
providence she submissively turned
every egg In her nest each day and
sat a week longer than any other hen
would have thought compatible with
her dignity.
Most of Speckle's offspring came In
twins. Thcro were two Huffy white
chickens two pert black ones two
wee striped bau tains two long legged
peevish turkeys and two perpetually
hungry ducks. But when It came to
the twin goslings thero was" only ono
of them. Of course the different twins
associated together and told each oth-
er their trials and joys their foais
and hopes; but the gosling was the
yellow sheep of the family. He knew
no troubles but his own he wanted
little and when he found a happy
hunting ground of bugs he had it all to
himself. He had also a little habit
of wabbling In while two chickens
fought over a bug quietly gobbling up
the insect and calmly turning his back
without even so much as a reminder
that longer existed a cause
for quarrelliug. Others might hnvo
sharp bills to dig and fight but he
had a broad ono to grasp and retain.
In his independent happy-go-lucky
way ho watfdled through the world
making strange friends and having
feather-breadth escapes known only to
himself and the Martin family.-
May Day dawned warm and sunny.
Worms had fairly wriggled themselves
Into the goslings mouth that morning
and ho felt .more than content as he
squatted In the sun on the back kitch-
en step. Suddenly in turning his head
to the left ho spIed a tempting red
object peeping up from a great round
whitish looking surface. The gosling
made a dash and splash! he went
under the shining white surface. He
had that red bit however and as ho
swallowed It he 'Instinctively struck
out with his legs. What a delightful
sensation the gosling had then. Ho
seemed born for pnddllng and as ho
paddled ho kept bobbing his head
down Into tho white substance and
fetching up tho most appetizing
things. Evidently the world had been
made for nothing except gobbling and
Dy and by ho began to feel tired.
He determined to jump out on the
steps again but strange to say all his
jumps turned to paddles. Ho couldn't
seem to get over a hard brown object
next to tho steps. Ho decided to try
no more but just to sit still so ho dou-
bled his short legs up under him and
floated. After a while he felt hlmseK
sinking but he paddled twice or thrice
and got up again. Still It was pleas-
autor. to drift so ho rested once more.
Lower and lower ho sank. Strange
odors floated up around him. Drowsi-
ness besieged him. Not much except
his head was now above surface but
somehow as he rested Ids bill on that
cool substance the gosling didn't caro.
Just then Mary Ann camo out with a
pan of peelings and dashed them In.
"Peep! peep!" murmured tho gos-
ling bobbing up and down.
"La!" ejaculated Mary Ann and ran
for tho shovel.
When she had shoveled him out on
the grass she finished her exclamation.
"La! alnt thai fool gooso got no
more senso that to go swimmin' in tho
slot) bucket!"
"Poop!" replied tho gosling placidly
turning over on the grass in tho warm
sun with a deliciously filled feeling.
Lazily the summer months drifted
by. Cue day and another "that fool
goose" as every one camo to designate
him figured continually before tho
public eye. So entirely devoid of
sens" did his escapados seem that tho
hi ted man named him "Simple Si-
mon" for short.
With tho coming of the snappy De-
cember days people began to think of
Christmas feaBts and tho farmers to
look over their poultry with an oyo
to the markets. Ono frosty day when
Mrs. Martin's kitchen breathed spicy
odors her husband slouched In.
"I'vo just h'ien looking over the
poultry" ho drawled. "Turkeys arc
awful scarce this year and prices big.
I 'low mebbe we'd better sell all ourn
and eat Simon for our Christmas din-
ner. Ono goose ain't any good and ho
eats more than any hog on tho place."
" 'Pears like Simon was just made
to die young anyhow" agreed Mary.
"La! the times I've rcskewed him!"
Fully a month before Christmas city
people began to send out to engage
one or two of Farmer Martin's well
known turkeys. A week before too
day Mary Ann shut up all the salable
turkeys and Simon in a couple of large
carriage crates which served as coops.
They xnust hnve the choicest food and
be ready to deliver Into tho hands
of tho many tf iff backed coachm
who came for them daily. Tho gob-
blers spread their fine young tails and
grew red with indignation; but Simon
took it all as philosophically as was
his wont contentedly eating moro
than was his share of food and on
warm days wallowing In the basin of
drinking water.
Soon all but two of the turkeys woro
carried away. Ono of the two a hand-
some young gobbler Col. Robertson
and his grai ilson would call for on
Thursday. Proudly and stiffly tho
young turkey strutted up and down
tho now roomy cage and gobbled his
protest from morning till night at tho
top of his voice. Simon lay at his
case In the basin and blinked at his
irate companion as If tho air around
him did not fairly reek with garlic.
Whenever tho turkey came too near
in his swollen pride it was only neces
sary for Simon to open his mouth and
extend his tongue.
At last the Colonel camo for his
turkey and bore him away .still pro-
testing volubly. Only Simon and an
undersized hen turkey remained.
"It ain't muchtOf a turkey that's a
fact' acknowledged Farmer Martin as
ho and Mary Ann passed the pen Fri-
day evening.
"She ain't worth much. Wouldn't
you ruthor I'd kill her than Simon to-
morrow?" tentatively queried Mary
Ann with her eyes on Simon who ran
to tho bars to see If moro food was
"Goose Is good enough for me and
Simon ain't no money value. Mobbo
that turkey will fatten up 'gainst
spring and make a tight respectable
mother hen" replied Farmer Martin.
."She'd not likely to unless t sho
makes a bettor fight for her victuals"
Mary Ann returned. "Pears like Simon
gets most' of 'em In spite of all. I' can
do. He's slch a fool he don't know
when he's got enough. .Most seems a
pity to kill such a silly critter."
That night Mary Ann had every-
thing in readiness for tho morrow
planning to rise early and prepare
Simon before breakfast for even Mary
acknowledged that a goose Is hard to
dress.- . - -
About four o'clock In tho morning
she was aroused by an unearthly
quacking and hissing. Hastily throw-!
lng a quilt around hor shoulders and
plunging into hor shoes sho rushed to
tho chicken yard. A man fled toward
tho fenco with a bloody turkey In one
"Drop that drop that!" yelled Mary
Ann hurling the cloths stick nt him
and beating down ttpon him nt full
speed as ho neared tho barbed wlro
Tho thief throw himself over but
his trousers and a turkey wing caught
on a barb. Gaunt Mary Ann in her
motley quilt loomed up boforo him
armed with a chicken trough. With
a desperato wrench ho freed himself
but he lost-hls prize.
Mnry Ann grabbed up the turkey.
Its head had been wrung off. Shu ran
frantically to tho coop. It had been
"Ho's stole Simon he's stolo Si-
mon!" walled Mary Ann as Farmer
Martlu appeared hitching up his trou-
sers. Suddenly n familiar so md smoto
her ear. Glancing up she caught
The Thief Threw Himself Over.
a glIm!)so of Simon quacking merrily
and waddling lapidly through tho
rusty weeds In the diroctlon of tho
corn pen.
"Well I reckon we'd bettor have
turkey for Christmas after all. Ain't
no use of losln' two fowls" said Farm-
er Martin after relieving his feelings.
"La!" muttered Mary Ann as she
watched Simon blissfully quacking
and gobbling In tho mlddlo of tho
corn pen. "I do bollevo Simon ain't
such a fool after all." N. Y. Herald.
Christmas Hobgoblins.
Christmas time In Greece is known
as tho season of the Twelve Days bo-
cause over thcro its observance last
for that'longth of time.
The children are early taught that
during tho Christmas period ghosts
and hobgoblins nro abroad in tho
land and thoy must bo very careful
of their actions for fear of punish-
ment. Santa Clause with his good things
does not seem to bo very popular la
that country. It Is on New Year's
eve that everyone makes merry and
that sweetmeats and gifts aro glvea
between friend and fiiond.
Gaily dressed children go about
from house to' houso singing and
playing and In return for their en-
tertainment aro given flgs nuts and
candy and sometimes other kinds
of food.
Two of Them.
Christmas Is tho "hinting" season;
hints that would bo resented at other
times aro then permissible.
"Now Eva" said tho fond uncle
wishing to know his best littlo n'ieco's
mind upon a 'highly Interesting sub-
ject and preferring to got at It Indi-
rectly "if I were going to buy a doll
for a littlo girl what kind of a ono
do you think she would like?"
"Oh Uncle William" answered tho
mite "there Is nothing like twlusl"

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Twine, W. H. The Muskogee Cimeter. (Muskogee, Okla.), Vol. 9, No. 12, Ed. 1, Friday, December 20, 1907, newspaper, December 20, 1907; Muskogee, Oklahoma. ( accessed December 10, 2018), The Gateway to Oklahoma History,; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.

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