The Curtis Courier. (Curtis, Okla.), Vol. 9, No. 52, Ed. 1 Thursday, November 18, 1909 Page: 1 of 6
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# 1 '
Lydia E. Pinkham’s
Vienna, W. Va.— “I feel that I owe
the but ten Tears of my life to Lydia
E. l'mWham's \ eg*.
I table Compound.
Eleven years ago 1
was a walking
shadow. I had been
under the doctor's
My husband per.
■uaded me to try
Lydia E. l'inkham's
pound and it worked
like a charm. It re.
Jlievedall my pains
wm ,_____,, . advise all suffering
women to take Lydia E. Pinkham’*
Vegetable Compound.” — Mbs. Emma
W ii katom, Vienna, W. Va.
Lydia E. Pinkham a Vegetable Com-
pound, made from native roots and
herbs, contains no narcotics or harm-
ful drugs, and ttMlay holds the record
for theTargest number of actual cures
of female diseases of any similar medi-
cine in the country, and thousands of
voluntary testimonials are on file In
the Pinkham laboratory at Lynn,
Mass., from women who have been
cured from almost every form of
female complaints, inflammation, ul-
ceration,displace meats, fibroid tumors,
irregularities, periodic pains, backache,
indigestion and nervous prostration.
Every such suffering woman owes it to
herself to give Lydia E. Pinkham’s
Vegetable Compound a triaL
If you vroula like special advice
•bout your coae write a confiden-
tial letter to Mrs. Pinkham, at
Lynn, Mass. Her advice is free,
mid always helpf uL
SURE THE SHOVEL WAS CLEAN
Explanation of 8mall Boy That Must
Hava Greatly Reassured the
‘Tve Just spanked Ned. I don't
know what course you’ll pursue with
Stephen,’’ remarked the mother's in
“What have the boys been up to
now?" was the timorous query.
“About the very last thing you’d
Imagine. They've been eating lunch
eon with the Italian laborers work-
ing along the car tracks. And you
might as well know the worst at
once — they’ve been eating meat
cooked in a shovel.”
With a frantic vision of a hope-
lessly germ-riddled child, Stephen's
mother called her interesting heir to
“I didn't eat luncheon with any
strange men,” he Indignantly persist-
ed. Those men are all my dear
friends. And I didn’t eat any meat
cooked in a shovel, either.”
“What did you eat, then!”
“Only Borne gravy cooked In a
shovel by one of the men.” Then per
ceiving the wild alarm in the maternal
countenance. “But it was clean all
right, mother, for 1 saw the man wipe
off the shovel with his hat Before he
poured in the gravy.”
Getting in Deep.
The ladies devoted to reform were
”1 believe,” said one, "that only
good men should be permitted to
“But,” interposed a second, “would
not such a radical policy be promo-
tive of race suicide?”
On the instant they perceived that
they had tackled a real problem.
Honor Where Honor It Due.
First Golfer—Well done, old chap!
That’s the longest ball I’ve seen you
Second Golfer — I’m afraid the
credit’s not all mine. A beast of a
wasp touched me up In the middle of
If men could make money as easily
as they can make love we should all
be millionaires In a short time.
A man likes a giggling girl about
as well as he does a crying baby.
. v \ v \ \
'0. PILLS i
VL Kidne^.E aj.* 1
jHANKSGIVIN’ U r.»ln’ to
be the bangupplst affair at
our house that'll be known
from the way Mary baa
been makln' me trot around
in Squashville town. Judgin'
“ ‘Peleg,’ she says to me, a week
come next Wednesday, ’Peleg. you
better get started on Thanksglvin’ or
It’ll be here and we will be In s fix
like Mis’ Jenkins w s the time she
had us all over for dinner six years
ago. I shall never forget that dinner
to my dyin’ day,’ she says, ‘and It’ll
be a warning for me. I hope.
“When Mary Ann talks that way,
knowln’ her the way I do, bein’ mar-
ried a good 20 year, I give In. And
I don’t dawdle around doin’ It, either.
“Thursday momln’, when 1 got
through with the chorea, and seen
that the woodbox was filled and the
water pall briminin' over, them bein'
things that gets on a woman’s nerves,
I gits loaded up with Jugs and things
and was down to Jay Home’s stors
before he had the floor sprinkled.
'Jay,' I says, 'if you have got any-
thing in this shanty that'a needed for
a bang-up Thanksglvin' dinner, trot
'er out, and don’t stop to Agger It up
till the whole caboodle is wrapped up.
Jay set down his sprinkler and
went out to the back shed for the
“‘Don’t you git riled up. Peleg.’ he
says, ‘or excited. Cornin’ in on me
at this time of the mornln.’ he says,
‘when my mind's set on gettin’ the
prune pits and other dabree of the
evenin’ debauch of some of these
Squashville Bports, as the feller says,’
he says, ‘cleaned up. I ain’t fit to
Agger up a Thanksglvin’ dinner. But
If you’ll set down and hold your
horses.’ he says, ‘we’ll git to It, we’ll
git to it.*
“Long and short of It was. Jay
didn't have half the things Mary Ann
had set down. We Jiggered out pret-
ty well, from what he had. But
danged if he had any cider or even
” ’Jay,* 1 says, ‘I’m- a believer In
truth, and I trusted you. But when I
read,’ I says, ’in the Squashville
Bugle, as 1 did yes’day. them items
which says “Jay Home has the full-
est, most complete and general stock
of groceries in the northwest, prices
right and good treatment,” ’and I
come here, as I hev, and find no cl
der, or even cider vinegar, I find that
1 have been misled. After this I will
read the Squashville paper with some
caution, let alone orderin’ you as
postmaster to quit deliverin’ It to box
” ‘Peleg,’ says Jay, 'you’re about the
dangdest fool that ever set foot In-
side my store. I had that cider, as
advertised, and I had that good treat-
ment, and no one ever said my prices
wasn't fair. But because a lot of oth-
ers has been trottin’ in here for sup-
plies, let alone them that buys it by
the glass, you git on your high horse.
I like your trade, Pek’g.’ he says, ‘but
dang if I ain’t a notion to tel! you to
And another place.’
“ ‘Jay,’ I says, seein’ I was harsh,
‘we bein’ members of the Modern
Woodmen ain’t goin’ to hev no words.
But I am thinkln' of Mary Ann. She’s
set her heart on real cider for them
mince pies, aud you know Mary Ann.’
“And I was right. Mary Ann put
her foot down when I come into the
kitchen and she see I didn’t hev the
•••I can’t help It, Peleg,’ she says.
•I must hev It. You’ll hev to go to
Podunk for It, and to-day’s as good a
time as 1 know. 1 won’t sleep now
till I git that cider. I remember poor
Mis’ Jenkins, and it’s a warnln.’ ”
"And danged if I didn’t hev to walk
over to Podunk, me that ain’t been
there since I got beat for constable.
And Mary Ann set down some other
little things she thought of, bein' as I
was goin’ to make the trip. When I
got home I set down the Jug a little
hard on the kitchen table.
“'Mary Ann.’ I says, 'this Idea of
hevin’ the whole dum town a-trumpln’
In here on Thanksglvin’ may be all
right. I ain’t sayin’ nothin' against
It. You’ll hev your way. But they’s
got to be reform in this town. Jay
Home’ll keep cider and every other
article,’ I says, ’for Thanksglvin’ oi
Podunk’ll git my trade.’
“ ‘Shet up, Peleg,’ she says, ’and git
some water in this pail. You never
Ailed it, and 1 hev been skimpin' ever
since you started for Podunk.*
“They ain’t never been no trouble
in our family for 20 yours, as I was
sayin,' but if they iB, it’ll come from
one of these Thanksglvin’ dinners.
Donged if it won’t."—R. B. Pixley, in
Milwaukee Free Press.
1^ A f I brought bis wife to the
I I city tbe business out-
| look was very bright
Hie particular kind of
INbwlII commercial designing
i11Mi made a hit at long
distance with a big Arm In Chicago
and this circumstance bad tempted
him to move hts little household eo
that he could be "on tbe ground."
He soon found, however, that the
patronage of one Arm was not suffi-
cient to keep the pot comfortably
The day before Thanksgiving Kirki-
bee came home early and eat down
with a aigh.
“Oh. darling." he said, “I've got here
• letter that I got from the box as I
came up. It’s addressed to you.
l^Mika Uke Aunt Bella’s Ast."
“Why. Fred, If aunty Isn’t coming
to dinner to-morrow! Bays she’ll
reach Chicago about 10 o’clock and
come at once to our 'little home, as
she calls It."
“It’s Just like her colossal nerve to
come In on us like that,” commented
"Well, we’ve got to have a dinner
now," said his wife. "The mere fact
that we can’t afford It has nothing to
do with the.case."
Thanksgiving morning passed In
planning for the comfort of the ex-
pected guest. Aunts with property
are rare in this unfeeling world, and
It behooves expectant relatives to put
their best feet forward.
Eleven o’clock came and passed
and no Aunt Bella arrived. Then a
telegram came announcing a change
|! I ■;!
More Economical than
the Cheap and Big Can Kind
and MUCH BETTER
WHY T Because Calumet Baking Powder is more
certain in its results—the baking is always lighter,
more delicious and more evenly raised. Y ou never
have a spoiled batch of baking by its use.
It requires less — hence goes further.
IS tba “full valoa" baking nowdar—tbs highest quality
baking powder nt a medium pricn. And we guarantee that
It will givn yon more real sati.laction than nay baking |«»-
Sand 4c and slip found in pound can. ^
Cahnast Ssoslvtd Highest Award—■nrld’s Nr* Fssd E«poilHss
MAID FOUND A FEW THINGS
J«ct Man iy tic
It (MINI *
A BOY TO ADMIRE.
As a Rssult, Brooklyn Woman Came
Homs to Mako a Fow Remarks
Irving Berlin, tbe author of "My
Wife’s Gone to iho Country," said at
a recent diuner In New York
"A true happening was the inspira
tion of this song.
“In July a Brooklyn woman aet out
for Ocean Grove, and on her arrival
discovered that her watch, a small af
fair, was missing. She thought H
had probably dropped on the thick,
soft dining-room rug. so she wired to
the maid at home:
“ ’Let me know If you Aud anything
on rug In dining-room.’
“A few days later she got from
the maid a letter saying:
“’Dear Madam: I was to let you
know If I found anything on the dlu
ing-room rug. This is what I found
this morning: Three champagne corks
18 cigar butts, five cigarette ends, four
blue chips, 36 burnt matches aud one
pink satin slipper.’"
Not only the houses of the Mei
leans, but whatever you admire Is
yours. If you express a sentiment
of approbation of anything, the own
er at once says: "8enor. it is yours;
but he simply Intends something bat-
tering, and you are therefore not ex-
pected to accept anything that Is of-
fered to you. Aa amusing story Is
told of Sir 8pencer St. John, the Eng-
lish ambassador, which illustrates how
this national courtesy often provokes
embarrassment. Sir Spencer, who is
a gallant old bachelor, was prom
enading with some ladles in the park,
when he met a nurse girl .with a
bright-eyed baby. The ladies stopped
to admire the little one, and Sir Spen-
cer asked whose child It was. “Senor,
it Is your* own,” replied the nurse, with
a courtesy. Sir Spencer has never !n-
qulred as to the parentage of pretty
He Tried to Find His Voice.
of plans. Aunt Bella had concluded
not to come to the city on Thanks-
giving day and perhaps she would not
come until Christmas.
"If some one only would drop In!"
said Mrs. Kirkibee. “Or even ir we
know no one in the city there must
be somebody who would like a dinner
’Yes," said her husband, "even a
skeleton at the feast would make a
hit with us Just now.”
As if in answer to their wish, there
was a timid knock at the back door.
Mrs. Kirkibee rushed to open it.
There stood a dilapidated looking
man with the hangdog air and un-
wholesome pallor of the Jailbird. He
lifted a yellow and shaky hand to his
“Come right in," exclaimed the de-
lighted housewife. “Come right in.
Dinner is all ready.”
She took the trembling caller by
the sleeve and led him into the house.
After the . wanderer had earnestly
protested that he could eat no more
Mrs. Kirkibee compelled him to dis-
pose of a quarter of mince pie. Then
as he arose staggeringly to his feet
Kirkibee presented him with a cigar
which a business acquaintance had
given to Kirkibee the day before.
The guest stood for a moment with
the cigar in one hand and his bat-
tered hat in the other. He tried sev-
eral times to And his voice before he
spoke with twitching mouth and
weakly quavering chin.
"Missus and sir, this is til’ best lay-
out 1 ever went agin sence 1 was a
boy back home. I’m much—” Ho
swallowed hard. "I’m much obliged.
I couldn't have got a dinner like that
anywhere fer leas'n a quarter. ’
A Monument In the 8nows.
The highest placed monument in
the world is situated on La Combra,
the summit of a pass in the Andes,
and marks the frontier of the Chilian
and Argentine republics. It stands at
an altitude of 12,796 feet above the
sea level, and for awe-inspiring gran
deur its surroundings would be hard
to match.—Wide World Magazine.
fUJ III I I t I \ \
Gallant Bob (slipping from his fa-
ther's knee In the cur, to lady) —
Won't you take my place, madam?
The Dollar 8ign.
When it catlie time for Mrs. Bluffer
to pack her trunk and depart from ths
resort where she had spent many
pleasant duys, where she had been
the cynosure of all eyes, whore she
had flirted and gosBlpped (and been
gossiped about), Bhe visited the pro-
‘‘I've Just received a check for $50
from my husband," she told blui. "Yor
will honor it, won’t you?"
The proprietor bowed and rubbed
"My dear Mrs. Bluffer," he ventured.
"I w ill not only honor it, d>ut will fall
down and worship It.”
Mind Over Matter.
“Much may he done,” said the Acute
Observer, "by an authoritative voice.
Now. If a man says to a dog: ‘Come
here!' with u note of absolute author-
ity in his voice, the dog comes im-
"Yes," aaid the Traveler, “I've no-
ticed It. And It Is especially marked
in oriental peoples. Why, when I was
in Khallsundjharo, I heard a man say
with that authoritative note In his
tone: ‘Oh, king, live forever,’ and Im-
mediately the king lived forever.”—
Carolyn Wells, In Success Magazine.
Prescribed Change of Food Instead of
It takes considerable courage for a
doctor to deliberately prescribe only
food for a despairing patient, instead
of resorting to the usual list of med-
There are some truly scientific phy-
sicians among the present generation
who recognize and treat conditions as
they are and should be treated regard-
less of the value to their pockets.
Here's an instance:
"Four years ago I was taken with
I severe gastritis and nothing would
stay on n.v stomach, so that 1 was on
the verge of starvation.
I “I beard of a doctor who has a sum-
mer cottage near me—a specialist from
N. Y.,and as a last hope, sent for him.
"After he examined me carefully he
advised me to try a small quantity of
Grape-Nuts at first, then as my stom-
ach became stronged to eat more.
"I kept at it, and gradually got so I
could eat and digest three teaspoon-
fuls. Then I began to have color In my
face, memory became clear, where be-
fore everything seemed a blank. My
limbs got stronger and I could walk.
So I steadily recovered.
“Now, after a year on Grape-Nuts 1
weigh 153 lbs. My people were Bur-
prised at the way I grew fleshy and
strong on this food.”
Read the little book, “The Road to
Wellvllle,” in pkgs.
“There’s a Reason.”
Ever read the above letterf A new
one appenra from time to time. They
are fravlie, true, and fail af hamaa
Father Was an Invalid.
It hnd been a hard day in the field,
and father ard son were very hungry.
The only things eatable on tbe table
were 12 very large apple dumplings.
The father had consumed ten while
the boy was eating one, and then both
reached for the one remaining.
“Son,” pleaded the farmer, “you
wouldn’t take the last apple dumpling
from your poor sick pa, would you?”—
Undoubtedly Not. ,
Capt. Jerome, while visiting Col.'
Hlgginson, took a derringer from the
table, and asked: “This thing load-
ed?” But before the colonel could
reply the weapon was discharged, the
bullet tearing away one of the fingers
of the visitor. The colonel, who Is
widely known on account of his ex-
treme politeness, bowed gracefully,
and rejoined: "Not now, my dear
Chloroform Zoo Animals.
The practice of cutting the claws of
the more ferocious animals of the
London zoological gulden has recently
been greatly facilitated by chloroform-
ing the animals. Heretofore it was
done by sheer force by a squad of
men, the animal being first secured
Social Progress. ,
“The Pilters are getting ou raplJly,
“Indeed, yes. They used to employ
a washerwoman, but now they have
a laundress.”—Ueholotb Sunday Her-
Miss Cheatham—I believe I shall
hove to give up bridge.
Miss Frank—Really? Wasn't the
game worth the scandal?
The average man is a poor judge of
his own Importance.
Here’s what’s next.
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The Curtis Courier. (Curtis, Okla.), Vol. 9, No. 52, Ed. 1 Thursday, November 18, 1909, newspaper, November 18, 1909; Curtis, Oklahoma. (gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc405366/m1/1/: accessed October 22, 2018), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.