The Granite Enterprise. (Granite, Okla.), Vol. 5, No. 15, Ed. 1 Thursday, August 18, 1904 Page: 4 of 8
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ACHED IN KVIRY BONK.
Chicago Society Woman Who Woo So
Sick She Could Net Sleep or Eat,
Cured by Doan't Kidney Pills.
M a r t t> a
Knight, of S3
N. Ashland
Art.. Chicago.
Orator of the
Wert Side
Woo nesday
| Club, sars:
Thia^ winter
U when I start-
ed to use
D o a n 'a Kid-
ney Pilla I
ached !n every
bone and had
Intense pains
in the kidneys and pelvic organs. The
urine was thick and cloudy and I
could barely eat enough to live. I
felt a change for the better within a
week. The second week I began
eaung heartily. I began ^o improve
generally and before seven weeks had
passed I was well. I had rpent hun-
dreds of dollars for medicine that did
r.ot help me. but $6 worth of Doan's
Kidney Pills restored me to perfect
health."
A TRIAL FREE—Address Foster-
Milburn Co.. Buffalo, N. Y. For sals
l>. all dealers. Price Wc.
Mra. Nowlyweo a Complaint.
•"What will we have for dinner,
dear?" said Mrs. Newly wed to her
husband as he started for the office.
"Oh. make your own selection,
sweetheart." he replied, rising her a
j fond caress, as young husbands will.
"But. George, dear, we had roast
j i>ork Monday, roast lamb Tuesday and
roast beef last night."
"Well?"
"Why can't they invent some more
animals? It's so hard to choose from
just those three."
A Big Field of Salt
The crcat Held of crystalized i-alt
it Salton. Cal.. in the middle of the
Colorado drsert. is 204 rcet below the
cvcl of the sea, and is more than
l."00 af*re« in extent. Its surface i>
»s white as snow, and when the sun
^ shining its brilliance is too dazz:ing
lor tne eye. The field is constantly
tupplied by the many salt spring? iD
the adjacent foothills.
Traced
The Prima Donna—Why don't you
iive the part to my daughter? She
-:ngs beautifully. She has inherited
my voice.
Manager Conn—Is that so? 1 have
-»ften wonaer.-d what became of your
voice.—Detroit Free Press.
Important to Mothora.
Tin-nine c*r**u'ly ererr botl»« of C ASTORIA,
r ttfc and wre rcowly for infants and cteildrrn,
and th»t it
~ Fork Fad.
Marker—The spread of the opium
nabit is something terrible. 1 am told j
•hat women of the highest class have
been seen going into the opium joints
Parker—Oh. that's all nonsense,
l^adies of fashion go to such places
to watch the Chinamen use chop
sticks. They want to learn how to
eat soup with a fork.--New York
Weekly.
. . *
The Old Queation.
Shadrach. Meshach and Abednego
aad spent the night in the fiery fur
nace.
"Good morning." they remarked
when the doors mere opened. "Is it
hot enough for you?"
With a savage, baffled veil their
persecutors fled the scene.—Judge.
Batter Flan Than That.
The young clergyman was under
the impression that there had been
some criticism because he preached
extemporaneously. "Do you think I
ought to write my sermons?" he
fcsked.
"No." replied the sarcastic warden.
"I think you ought to buy them."
Approved Prescription-.
Sufferer—I have a terrible tooth-
ache, and want something to cure it.
Friend—Now, you don't need any
medicine. I had a toothache yester-
day, and went home, and my loving
wife kissed me and so consoled
that the pain soon passed away. Why
don't you do the same?
Sufferer—I think I will. Is your
wife home now?—Albany Journal.
V
Eaay to See That.
"Will you direct me to Farnffcr Skin-
ner's house?" asked the newly nrrtv- ,
ed summer boarder.
• I will if ye want me to," replied
:he station lounger.
i shall have to ask you for ex j
plicit directions, because I've never
been there before.
Gosh! 1 know that, seein ye're de-
termined to go there now.
Situation Summed Up.
fho only M«h ««■•«*• Bohln® Powdor
modo st o modoroto prlco»
Calumet
Baking
Powder
Guatemala a D?ax
Manuel Estrada Cabrera, who ha«
been re-elected for a term of six
y«ars as president of Guatemala, ha:
romo to be known as the "Diiz o.
his country." FromM8G2 to 181*.
when Cabrera was first elected pres
dent Guatemala was in a contimnl
turmoil of revolutions. But for six
years there has been remarkable
i.eace under the present ruler. Tiie
republic has rfore thau 1.300 school-*,
has coffee for its chief agricultural
staple and has mineral wealth, be-
sides many possibilities not yet de-
veloped. Before his cloction Presi
dent Cabrera had bceti a lawyer by
rrofession and is a man of education
and culture. Every president before
Cabrera for sixty years had been a
military officer.
Wjfey—How do you like my new
hat. George, dear?
Hubby—Oh. 1 suppose I've got to
like it. or else buy you another.—
Lomic Cuts,.
After the Auto Accident.
Mother—Oh. doctor, if you trepan
toy boy's skull and put in a silver
plate what effect will it have on his
mentality?
Surgeon—Weil, ma'am, his brain
may perhaps be clouded, but the cloud
will have a silver lining.—Judge.
JV»r» the
S.jnamre of
la u*e Foe 0*er 3« Yc«r«.
Tie K!Bd Tou H*»e Bonjlit.
Really Impregnable Fortresses.
Gibraltar and Cronstadt are the two
rost brilliant examples of elaborate,
permanent fortresses that have, so
far. fully answered all expectations,
aeither of them since fortification hav-
ing ever been captured, while most
ethers have at one time or another
violently chareed hands.
Seeks No Further
"No more nauseous doses oi quinine
•nd the like for me. Cheatham's Laxa-
:ive Tablets are surer in effect and
'ar more pleasant and convenient ' o
•ake. I oek no further for a safe and
• urp cure for Btlliousness and Mala-
Edw. Dubois.
Ba'on Rouge. La.
^5c per bux.
No Trouble.
"You know Jones, who was reputed
lu rich? Well, he died the other day
and the only thing he left was an old
Dutch. ..clock."
"Well, there's one good thing about
it; it won't be much trouble to wind
up hi* estate!"
h
A Difference.
la '
Clayton Bruner. a Creek freedman
icar Tulsa, is allegt-d to have sold
me piece cf land five times, and the
leeds were all on tile in the clerk's
jff.ee at the same time, all having
->een filed during the past month. If
his story is true Bruner holds the
•ecord for selling the same piece of
and a number of times
W.N.U.—Oklahoma City—No. 34. 1904
BEGGS' BLOOD PURIFIER
CURES dtarrb of the stomach.
By Doctor's Advice.
"Excuse me. Softly." remarked Pen-
dennis curiously, "how is it you al-
ways wind up your watch immediately
after dinner?"
"For the benefit, of my health. You
see. my doctor Vas recommended me
always to take a little exercise after
; dinner."
The Customer and the Salesman.
i I think these will fit you." said the
salesman. "They are No. 3.
"No. they are not," replied the
yjung woman, sharply. "They are a
full size larger than that, and 1 want
a pair two sizes larger yet. Do you
think I can wear a No. 4 shoe on a Ntfc
•j Joot ?"
Ideal Laborers.
She—What gave you nervous pros-
tration ?
Weary Will—Overwork, mum.
She—i nover heard of a tramp over-
working himself.
Weary Will—I s'pose not. mum.
They be generally too tired to tell
of it.
Postponing a Pleasure.
Young mother—Harry, dear, yoa
mustn't go near the baby.
Young father—Mayn't l just look at
h'm a minute?
Young mother—No. dear: he's
asleep. I'll let you take him when ho
wakes up in the night.
Beyond Him.
See that colored man wrinkling hit
brow over that book?"
"Yes. he can't read it at all."
"Just making a bluff that he's edu-
cated, eh?"
"Oh. no: bes educated, but that'a
a negro dialect story."
689* Valuable In Jaundice.
sre th" only food for persons
ifflicted with jaundice.
Prizes for Window Gardening.
Paris offers prizes for window *a»-
lenirg.
JUST ONE OAY
"In Egypt, when & girl is born they
.brow her into the sea. eo the lobsters
can get her."
"Well, over here we wait till she
grows up. and then the lobsters get
her "—Philadelphia Buljptin.
As Others See Us.
Grscn—Hear about Bifkins?
Brotrn—No: what about him?
Green—F.s married his cook last
week.
Browr.—That's just like Bifkins.
Hi d ra her fight than eat.
Two Truthe.
"One of the most important things
in iife. my son." said the father, "is
to ktow when to grasp -n opportun-
ity.''
"Acd another." »ald the wise son,
"is to know when to let go of It, I sup»
pose."
One Might Think So.
"No," said the man who had re-
cently made his fourth pilgrimage to
tee matrimonial altar. "I can't say
that marriage is a failure."
"Of course not." rejoined his bache-
lor friend. With you It is merely a
habit.
Free From the Slugger Brought Out
a Fact.
"During the time I was- a coffee
drinker.' says an Iowa woman. "I was
nervous, had spells with my heart,
smothering spells, headache, stom-
ach trouble, liver and kidney trouble.
I did not know for years what made
me have those spells. I would fre-
quently sfcink away as though my last
hour had come.
For 27 years 1 suffered thus and
II ed bottles of medicine enough to set
uj a drug store—capsules and pills
ami everything 1 heard of. Spent
lots of money but I was sick nearly
all the time. Sometimes 1 was so
nervous I could not hold a plate in
my bands! and other times I though'
I would surely die sitting at the table.
This went on until about two year*
ago when one day I did not use any
coffee and 1 noticed I was not so nerv-
ous and told my husband about it.
He had been telling me that it might
be the coffee but I said 'No. 1 have
b?en drinking coffee all my life and
it cannot be.' But after this I though'
I would try and do without and drink
hot water. I did this for several days,
but got tired of the hot water and
went to drinking coffee and as soon
as I becan coffee again I was nervou-
! again. This proved that it tva« the
I coffee that caused my troubles
"We had tried Postum but had not
made it right and did not like it, bn'
row I decided to give it another trial
so I read the directions on the pack
age carefully and made it after the«e
directions and it was simply delicious
So we quit coffee for good and tbe#rp
<ults are wonderful. Before, I couH
no*, sleep but now I go to bed ann
r!eep sound, am not a bit nervou-
now. but work hard and can walk
miles. Nervous headaches are gona
ray heart does not bother me ar.
more like it did and I don t have an.
of the smothering spells and wou."i
veu believe it? I am getting fat. ^ p
drink Postum now and nothing el.-?
and even my husband's headachc?
have disappeared; we both sleep
sound and healthy now and that s a
blessing." Name given by Postum
Co.. Battle Creek, Mich.
1 ook for the book. "The Road to
Wellville" In cach pkg.
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Coldren, P. R. The Granite Enterprise. (Granite, Okla.), Vol. 5, No. 15, Ed. 1 Thursday, August 18, 1904, newspaper, August 18, 1904; (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc405032/m1/4/: accessed April 24, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.