The State Journal. (Mulhall, Okla.), Vol. 6, No. 13, Ed. 1 Friday, March 6, 1908 Page: 3 of 14
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EVER MAKE A BED?
HERE'S MAN THAT SAYS JOB
LOOKS EASIER THAN IT IS.
After Strenuous Time at What He
Thought Was Simple Undertak-
ing He Had to Give Up
the Job.
"Say," spoke up the man whose
wife went home to spend the holi-
days, "d'j'ever try to make a bed?
Did yuh?
"If you did," said the lonesome look-
ing man, "then I don't need to say
anything to you. But ain't it the
tricky job? Looks easy, too. How
d'juh s'pose a woman ever manages
to get away with making two or three
beds in a house and then get any-
thing else done that day?
"Now, the other morning when I
got up anrl found all the bed clothes
pulled loose from their moorings at
the foot I says to myself: 'Five days
is long enough for a bed to go with-
out bein' made. I'll just make it.' I'd
never tried on the bed making propo-
sition, but it looked simple enough.
My wife used to make the bed in our
room just while I was putting on my
collar and then slip in and make up
the children's beds before I c'd get
my hair combed.
"Well, I tried smoothing out the
sheets and blankets, first from one
side of the bed and then I'd race
around to the other side and rub 'em
down. But did they get smoothed
out? They did not. They got more
askew every time 1 touched 'em. Then
I tried tucking 'em in at the foot, so
that I at least wouldn't have my toes
sticking out into the chill atmosphere
when I went to sleep that night. When
I got 'em tucked I found a big welt
across the foot of the bed caused by
some kivvers that I failed to get hold
of. Then when I saw just how ruf-
fled up they were all over the bed I
decided to pull them all off and start
over again.
"I took 'em off and then put 'em all
on again, one at a time, and the bed
looked pretty solid and even except
for one quilt lopping over a little too
much toward the floor on one side
but the operation took me just 4C
minutes by the clock over on the
dresser.
"Then I thought while I was at it
I would make the pillows staok up
plumb, the way I'd seen 'em before
the missus went home. Say, I tvonder
how that's done. I would pick 'em
up and lay 'em down again just as
easy like and try to smooth them out
real slick, but still they persisted in
looking as if they were just about all
in. They didn't seem to be up on the
bit at all. I don't know when I've
seen a more anemic, wilted-looklng
pair of pillows.
"After this when that bed gets ram-
pled up and lumpy I'm going to pull
off the kivvers and roll myself up
like a bug in a cocoon and let it go
at that."—Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Youngest Midshipman in Navy.
Louisiana has the distinction of hav-
ing the youngest midshipman in the
United Statrs naval academy, Annapo-
lis, Md. Alfred Shepard Wolfe was
born in the city of New Orleans,
March 5, 1S91, and entered the naval
academy July 6, 1907, after having
successfully passod both the mental
and physical examinations. The min-
imum age allowed at Annapolis is 16.
He was appointed by the Hon. Rob-
ert C. Davey from the Second congres-
sional district. Alfred Wolfe received
his entire education in the public
schools of New Orleans, leaving the
junior interme liato boys high school
class to enter the academy.
Ti a Meaning.
"Pa, what dc s a golden anniversary
signify ?"
"Well, my boy, it signifies that a
man and woman have quarreled to-
gether for 50 years without coming to
blows.**—Detroit Free Press.
Hovi the Governor Felt.
Gov. Hughes recently addressed the
West End Woman's Republican club
of New York and remarked in the
course of his talk: "My happiness on
this occasion may be compared with
the young lady on her first visit to
Venice. I believe she wrote her inti-
mate friend as follows: 'I am here
on the Grand Canal, drinking it all in.'
She added: 'Life's never seemed so
full before."*
WINTER WHEAT CROP
CURED HER CHILDREN.
—4 ...
Girls Suffered with Itching Eczema—.
Baby Had a Tender Skin, Too—
Relied on Cuticura Remedies.
"Some years ago my three little
girls had a very bad form of eczema.
Itching eruptions formed on the backs
of their heads which were simply cov-
ered. I tried almost everything, but
failed. Then my mother recommended
the Cuticura Remedies. I washed my
children's heads with Cuticura Soap
and then applied the wonderful oint-
ment, Cuticura. I did this four or five
times and I can say that they have
been entirely cured. I have another
baby who is so plump that tlje folds of
skin on his neck were broken and even
bled I used Cuticura Soap and Cuti-
cura Ointment and the next morning
the trouble had disappeared. Mme.
N'apoleon Duceppe, 41 Duluth St.,
Montreal, Que., May 21, 1907."
As a Substitute.
Mrs. Parkway—It must be lonesome
"When your husband has to make one
of his long canvassing trips and be
away from home for a week or more.
Mrs. Nexblok—Yes; but Harry is
real thoughtful. He has taught the
parrot to use just the kind of lan-
guage he uses when he's about the
house himself.
EXCELLENT FOR COLDS.
Mix two ounces of glycerine with
half pint of good whiskey and add one-
half ounce of Concentrated Oil of Pine.
The bottle is to be well shaken each
time and used in doses of a teaspoon-
ful to a tablespoonful every four
hours. The true Concentrated Oil of
I'ine conies put up for medicinal uses
only in half ounce vials sealed in tin
screw-top cases and is a product of the;
laboratories of the Globe Pharmaceuti-
cal Co., Dayton, 0. The ingredients
all can be gotten at any drug store.
Gone, Anyhow.
Mr. Jawback—That boy gets his
brains from me.
Mrs. Jawback—Somebody got 'em
from you, if you ever had any—that's
a cinch.—Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Might Have Been
When Shakespeare said: "Aye,
there's the rub," we do not know for
certain he was thinking of the itch.
But one thing we do know—and know-
it twenty years' worth—Hunt's Cure
will absolutely, infallibly and lmmc
diately cure any itching trouble that
ever happened to the human cuticle.
It's guaranteed.
His First Banquet.
Friend (in whisper)—The toastmas-
ter wants you to get off a good joke.
The Bashful Man—Beg pardon—er
—I didn't know I was on it.
Lewis' Sing).; Binder costs more than
other 5c cigars. Smokers know why.
^ our dealer or Lewis' Factory, Peoria, lil.
The average man's idea of a good
sermon is one that goes over his head
and hits one of his acquaintances.
ONI.Y ONE "IJROMO QUININE"
That is LAXATIVE 1UIOMO OIUNINK. Look foi
tho Slttnuture nf u. \V UKOVK. Used tho WjrlU
over to limo a Cold in Ono Day. 26c.
Goethe: There Is nothing more
frightful than ignorance in action.
Clpnr white clothes are a sipn that tho
housekeeper uses Red Cross Ball Blue.
Large 2 oz. package, o cents.
If wishes were coal heaps we'd none
of hs freeze.—Detroit Free Press.
HE REALIZED $38 PER ACRE. HIS
OATS $3/ PER ACRE IN SOUTH-
ERN ALBERTA, WESTERN
CANADA.
Coaldale, Alta, Can., Nov. 19, 1907.
Sir: 1 beg to say that this year we
bad 349 acres of grain, consisting of
197 acres of spring wheat and 152
acres of oats. The average yield of
wheat was 38 bushels per acre and
oats 74 bushels. Wo were offered
$1.00 per bushel for wheat and 50
cents for oats, making the acre val-
ues for the two crops $3S.OO and $37.00
respectively.
We also had 50 tons of hay worth
$13.00 per ton, and 500 bushels of po-
tatoes, worth GO cents per bushel, the
latter off acres of ground.
Our best yields this year were 107
. cres of wheat, making 11 bushels per
acre at $1. 00 per bushel, would bo
$41.00 per acre; 47 acres of oats, yield-
ing 95 bushels per acre were sold for
50 cents per bushel. Proceeds, $47.00
per acre.
I might add that 50 acres of our oats
were "stubbled in."
During the spring of 190G, we hired
about 300 acres broken by steam. We
put in and harvested 55 acres of grain
last year, did the remainder of our
breaking, worked up the ground and
seeded this year's entire crop, put in
seven acres of alfalfa and five acres
of garden potatoes, trees, etc., all
with one four-horse team. During har-
vest we hired other teams, but, aside
from this, and part of the breaking,
the one team did the work of raising
practically 19,000 bushels of grain,
worth $12,000.
Yours truly,
W. H. PAWSON, JR.
WINTER WHEAT 25 TO 30 BUSH-
ELS TO THE ACRE IN SOUTH-
ERN ALBERTA.
Warner, Alta, Canada, Jan. 9, 1908.
Dear Sir: This is tho first year of
farming in this settlement. Mr. A. L.
Warner raised twenty-five hundred
and fifteen bushels of fine winter
wheat on one hundred acres of break-
ing and Tenny brothers had sixty
acres that went thirty bushels per
acre. Tho winter wheat that is in
this year looks fi ne.
Spring wheat here went thirty bush-
els per acre, oats fifty to eighty, bar-
ley fifty, and llax ten to fifteen on
sod.
The settlers here are all well
pleased with the country. The stock
have not required any feed except
tho grass up to this date and are all
fat. Yours truly,
F. S. LEFFINGWELL.
(Information as to how to reach
these districts, rates, etc., can be
secured from any agent of the Canadi-
an government, whose advertisement
appears elsewhere.—Ed.)
Where It Belongs.
"Excuse me," said the playwright to !
his friend who was hissing the piece,
"do you think it is good form to hiss
my show when 1 gave you the ticket j
that admitted you?"
"Certainly," resentfully replied the
friend. "If I'd bought a ticket I would
have contented myself by going out- I
side and swearing at myself."—Suc-
cess Magazine.
After suffering1 for seven years,
this woman Avas restored to health
by Lydia I*].I'iiikham's Vegetable
Compound. Kead her letter.
Mrs. Sullie French, of l'aucaunla,
Ind. Ter., writes to Mrs. l'inkham:
" I had female troubles for seven
years—was all run-down, and so ner-
vous I could not do anything. The
doctors treated me for d i fferen11 roubles
but did me no good. While in this con-
dition I wrote to Mrs. Pink ham for ad-
vice and took Lydia IS. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound, and I am now strong
and well."
FACTS FOP. SIC 11 WOMEN.
For thirty years Lydia E. Pink-
ham's Vegetable Compound, made
from roots and herb,?, has been the
standard remedy for female ills,
and has posit ively cured thousands of
women who have been troubled with
displacements, inflammation, ulcera-
tion, fibroid tumors, irregularities,
periodic pains, backache, that bear-
ing-down feeling, flatulency, indi^es-
t ionjdimness,or nervous prostration.
Why don't you try it?
Don't hesitate* to write to Mrs.
Pinkham if there is anything
about your sickness you do not
understand. She will treat your
letterin confidence andadvise you
free. JS'o woman ever regretted
writing her, and because of her
vast experience slio lias helped
thousands. Address, Lynn, Muss.
-j-crj} iTrrr
Typical I arm Scene, Showing Stock Raising in
WESTERN CANADA
Some of the choic est lands for grain growing,
stock raising ami mixed farming in the new dis-
tricts . f haskateliewan and Alberta have re-
cently been Opened for Settlement under the
Revised Hsinsstsari Regulations
Entry may now he marie by proxy (on certain
conditii us), by the father, mother, son, daugh-
ter, b rot In r or sister of an intending home-
steader. Thousands of homesteads of HiO acres
eaeli are thus now easily available in these
great grain growing, stork-raising- and mixed
farming sections.
There yon will find healthful climate, good
neighbors, ehurehes for family worship, schools
for your children, good laws, splendid crops,
and railroads convenient to market.
Entry fee in each ease is $10.00. For pamph-
let, "Last Best West," particulars as to rates,
routes, best time to go and where to locate,
apply to
J. S. C2AWF0RD,
No. 125 W. Ninth Sired, Kansas City, Missouri,
i
Guarat*4
\.t- - wrm
? BO YOU KNOW
THE WET WEATHER
COMFORT AND
PROTECTION
afforded by a
-eWEJr3
jftM 1
SUCKER?
Cle^n - Light
Durable
'£rr\ Guaranteed
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*312
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Woosley, Tom B. The State Journal. (Mulhall, Okla.), Vol. 6, No. 13, Ed. 1 Friday, March 6, 1908, newspaper, March 6, 1908; (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc403046/m1/3/: accessed April 25, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.