Woods County News. (Carmen, Okla.), Vol. 8, No. 51, Ed. 1 Friday, November 16, 1906 Page: 2 of 8
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Woods County News.
CARMEN. • . •
THE GOSPEL OF LAUOHTEB.
OMpcl of laughter, lie prcai hcd It to me,
Ma.11 who oiu-e troubled ami wearied lilin-
Km|i the world amlllnif and itlnl. aald he;
Mirth la a helpful, bnnvul«nt elf.
Ha, ha, ha! ha. Iiu, ha! ho. ho, ho. ho!
Never kwp worry and bother aliout;
Smile at your trouble, It'a likely to go,
lau(lili*r it apontuneoua; it-am are
ikj ueczud out.
(Ioh|>H of laughter: World wanta to laugh—
80 aald my Inai'lwr, and he ought to
Rathfi o'erfiil on adveralty'a chad;
Wlahea Mm rlatt>lea given a show.
(la. ha, ha' ha. ha. ha! km, ho, ho. ho!
Thin la the rtwd thai aela trouble to rout,
Mttkea ua forget the i-t rea that we know.
l^ughter'H apoiitaneoua; tenia are
Gospel of laughter: World haa a aong;
Tune your mull t« • It, I I'm ••hmv t.i catch.
Better go cheery and ainlllng along;
Dim plea of luughter find tlioiiaanda to
lla, ha, ha! hit, ha, ha! ho, ho. I10, ho!
Klltig a deflam «•—ha, ha. ha!—to doubt;
Never give worry -ho. ho. ho!—-a ahow,
l.iiuglilcr'a Hpontaneoiia; teara are
—Alfred J. Waterhouae, In Huu-cai Muga-
By HARRY LEON WILSON
' J '
Copyright, by Lolhrop Publishing Company.
" CHAPTER XXVI.—t'-oNTiNUBD.
"No, no—that ain't the way to han-
dle him. Say. 1 don't expect to quit
cussln' him fur another 30 days yet.
I want him to think he ain't got a
friend 011 earth but himself. Why. I'd
have made this play just as I have
done. Mr. Shepier, If there hadn't been
a chance to get back a cent of it—If
we'd had to go plumb broke—back to
the west in an emigrant car, with
bologna and crackers to eat. that's
what I'd have done. No, sir, no help
"Aren't you a little hard on him?"
"Not a bit! don't 1 know the stock,
and know Just what he needs? MoBt
men you couldn't treat as I'm treatln
him; but with him. the harder you
bear down on him the more you'll get
out of him. That was the way with
hla pa—he was a different man after
things got to comin' too easy fur him.
This fellow, the way I'm treatln' him,
will keep his head even after he gets
things comin' easy again, or I miss my
guess. He thinks I despise him now
If you told hlin I was proud of him, I
almost believe you could get a bet out
of him, sick as he is of gamblln'."
"Has he suspected anything?"
"Sure not! Why, he Just thanked
me about an hour ago fur savin' him-
made me shake hands with him—and
I could Bee the tears back In his eyes."
The old man chuckled.
"It wan like Len Carey's Nigger Jim.
Lien had Jim set apart on the planta-
tion fur his own nigger. They tlsned
and went huntln' and swtmmin' to-
gether. One (lay they'd been swim-
min', and was lyln' up on the bank.
Lien got thitikin' he'd never seen any-
one drown. He knew Jim couldn't
Bwlin a lick, so he thought he'd have
Jim go drown. He says to him: 'Jim.
go Jump off that rock there!' That
was where the deep hole was. Jim
was scar't, but he had to go. After
he'd gone down once, lien says to him:
'Drown now, you damn nigger!' and
Jim come up and went down twlcs
more. Theu lien begun to think Jim
was wortli a good bit of money, and
mebbe he d be almighty walloped if
the truth come out, so he dives in after
Jim and, gets him ashore, and after
while he brought him to. Anyway, ne
said. Jim had already sure-enough
drowned as fur as there was any fun
In It. Well, l^en Carey is an old man
how, and Jim is an old white-headed
nigger still hangin' around the old
place, and when 1>m goes back there
to visit his relatives, old Nigger Jim
hunts him up with tears In his eyes,
and thanks Mister Leonard fur savin'
his life that time. Say I felt this
inornin' like lien Carey must feel them
times when Jim's thankin' him.''
"You're a rare uian. Mr. Dines. I'll
hope to have your cheerful, easy views
of life If I ever Iobc my hold here in
the Btreet. 1 hope I'll have the old
Bines philosophy and the young
Bines spirit. That reminds me." he
continued, as I'ncie Peter rose to go,
"we've been pretty confidential, Mr.
Bines, and I don't mind telling you I
was a bit afraid of that young man
until yesterday. Oh, not on the stock
proposition. On another matter. You
may have noticed that night at tne
Oldaker's—well, women. Mr. Bines, are
uncertain. I know something about
markets and the ways of a dollar, but
all I know about women Is that they're
good to have. You can't know any
more about them, because they don't
know any more themselves. Just be-
tween us, now. I never felt any too
sure of a certain young woman's state
ef mind until copper reached 51 and
Union Cordage bad beeu blown up
They parted with warm expressions
of good-will, and Uncle Peter, in high
spirits at the success of his machina-
tlons had himself driven up town.
The only point where his plans had
failed was in Mrs. Wybert's refusal to
consider Mauburn alter the birth of the
Casselthorpe twins. Yet ne felt that
matters, in spite of this happening,
must go as be wished them to. The
Englishman—Uncle Peter cherished
the strong anti-British sentiment pe-
culiar to his generation—would surely
never marry a girl who was all but
Itenniless, and the consideration of an
alliance with Mrs Wybert. when the
fortune should be lost, had, after all.
been an Incident— a means of showing
the girl. If she should prove to be too
deeply Infatuated with Mauburn for
her own peace of mind—how unworthy
and mercenary he was; for he had
meant, In that event, to disillusion her
by disclosing something of Mrs. Wy-
bert's history—the woman Mauburn
should prefer to her. He still counted
confidently on the loss of the fortune
sufficing to break the match.
When he reached the Hightower that
nlghl for dinner, he found Percival
downstairs In great glee over what he
conceived to be a fuuny situation.
"Don't ask me. Uncle Peter. I
wouldn't get it straight; but as near
as I could make out. Mauburn came
up here afraid the blow of loBlng him
was going to kill sis with a broken
heart, and sis was afraid the blow was
going to kill Mauburn, because she
wouldn't have married him anyway,
rich or poor, after he'd lost the title.
They found each other out some way,
and then Mauburn accused her of be-
ing heartless, of caring only for his
title, and she accused him of caring
only for her money, and he Insisted
she ought to marry him anyway, but
she wouldn't have It because of the
Uncle Peter rubbed his big brown
hands with tne first signs of cheerful-
"HAS HE SUBJECTED ANYTHING?"
ness be had permitted Percival to de-
tect In him.
"Good fur Pish—that's the way to
take down them conceited Britishers—"
"But then they went at matters
again from a new standpoint, and the
result is they've made it up."
"What? HaB them precious twin
"Not at all. both doing finely—
haven't even had colic—growing fast—
probably learned to say 'fancy, now,'
by this time. But Mauburn's going
west with us If we'll take him."
"Fact! Say, It must have ^een an
awful blow to him when ue found sis
wouldn't think of him at all without
his title, even If she was broke. They
had a stormy time of it from all I can
hear. He said he was strong enough
to work and all that, and since he'd
cared for her. and not for her money,
it was low down of her to throw him
over; theu she Bald she wouldn't leave
her mother and ub, now that we might
need her, not for him or any other
man —and he said that only made him
love her all the more, and then he got
chesty, and salil he was Just as good
as.any American, even If he never
would have a title; bo pretty soon they
got kind of Interested in each other
again, and by the time I came home It
was all over. They ratified the pre-
liminary agreement for a merger."
"Well. I snum!" •
"That's right, go ahead and snum.
I'd snum myself if I knew how—it
knocked me. Better come upstairs and
congratulate the happy couple."
"Shoo, now! I certainly am mighty
disappointed in that fellow. Still, he is
well spotleu, and them freckles mean
Iron In the blood. Maybe we can de-
velop him along with the other prop-
They found Psyche already radiant,
though showing about her eyes traces
of the storm's devastations. Mauburn
was looking happy; also defiant and
"Mr. Blues," he said to Uncle Peter,
"I hope you'll side with me. I know
something about horses, and I've near-
ly a thousand pounds that I'll be glad
to put In with you out there if you
can make a place for me."
The old man looked him over quiz-
zically. Psyche put her arm through
"I'd have to marry some ane, you
know. Uncle Peter!"
"Don't apologize. Pish. There's room
for men that can work out there, Mr.
Mauburn, but there ain't any vintages
or trouserings to speak of, and the
hours Is long."
"Try me, Mr. Bines!"
"Well, come on. If you can't skin
yourself you can hold a leg while
somebody else skins. But you ain't
met my expectations. I'll say that!"
And he ahooa hands cordially with the
"1 say, you know," said Mauburn
later to Psyche, "why should 1 skin
myself? Why should I be skinned at
all, you know?"
"You shouldn't." she reassured him.
"That's only Uncle Peter's way of Bay-
ing you can help the others, even If
you can't do much yourself at first
And won't Mrs. Drelmer be delighted
to know It's all settled?"
"Well," said Uncle Peter to Perci-
val, later In the evening, "Pish has
done better than you have here. It's
a pity you didn't pick out some good,
sensible girl, and marry her In the
midst of your other doings."
"1 couldn't find one that liked cats.
I saw a lot that suited every other
way, but I always said to myself:
'Remember Uncle Peter'B warning!' so
I'd go to an animal store and get a
basket of kittens and take them
around, and not one of the dozen stood
your teat. Of course I'd never disre-
gard your advice."
"Hum." remarked Uncle Peter, In a
tone to be noticed for Its extreme dry-
ness. "Too bad, though—you certainly
need a wife to take the conceit out of
"I lost that In the street, along with
"Well, Bon, I ain't no ways alarmed
bu.. what you'll soon be on your fe?t
again in that respect—say by next
Tuesday or Wednesday. I wish the
money was comin' back as easy."
"Well, there are girls in Montana
"You could do worae. That reminds
me—I happened to meet Shepier to-
day and he got kind of confidential—
talkln' over matters. He said he'd
never really felt sure about the affec-
tions of a certain young woman, espe-
cially after that night at the Oldakers'
—he'd never felt dead sure of her until
you went broke. He said you never
could know anything about a woman
"He knows something about that
one, all right, if he knows she wouldn't
have any use for me now. Shepler's
coming on with the ladles. I feel quite
hopeful about him."
the town, though, if he don't take out
his first papers the minute 1 get there."
His last shot from the rear platform
"Change your name back to 'Pete,
son. when you get west of Chicago.
'Taln't anything fancy, but it'a a crack-
In good business name fur a hustler!"
"All right, Uncle Peter—and 1 hope
I'll have a grandson that thinks a*
mucn 01 It as I do of yours."
Wnen they had gone, he went back
to tne work of final adjustment. He
had the help of Coplen, whom they
had sent for. With him he was busy
for a week. By lucky sales of some
of the securities that had been hy-
pothecated they managed to aave a
little; but, on the whole, it waa what
Percival described it, "a lovely autop-
At last the vexatious work was fin-
ished. and he was free again. At the
end of the final day's work he left the
office of Pouts lu Wall street, and
walked up Broadway. He went slow-
ly. enjoying the freedom from care.
It waa the afternoon of a day when the
first summer heat had been felt, and
as he loitered before shop windows or
walked slowly through that street
where all move quickly end most very
hurriedly, a welcome little breeze came
up from the bay to fan him and en-
encourage his spirit of leisure.
At Union square, when he would
have taken a car to go the remainder
of the distance, he saw Shepier. ac-
companied by Mrs. Van Oeist and Miss
Milbrey. alight from a victoria and
enter a Jeweler's.
He would have passed on. but Miss
Milbrey had seen him and stood walt-
RUNNING SORES ON LIMBS.
THE DEPARTI*RE OF UNCLE PETEH
The ilineseB, with the exception of
Psyche, were at breakfast a week later.
Miss Bines had been missing sine* the
day that Mr. and Mrs. Cecil G. H. Mau-
burn had left for Montana City to put
the Bines home in order.
Uncle Peter and Mrs. Bines had now
determined to go. leaving Percival to
follow when he had closed his busi-
"It's like starting west again to
make our fortune," said Uncle Peter.
He had suffered himself to regain
something of bis old cheerfulness of
"I wish yon two would wait um l
they can get .ae car here, and g;i back
with me." said Percival. "We can go
back In atyle even if we didn't tavp
much more than a get-away stake."
But his persuasions were unavailii g.
"I can't Btand It another day." said
Mrs. Bines, "and those letters keep
coming in from poor suffering p ople
that haven't heard the news."
"I'm too restless to stay," declartd
Uncle Peter. "I declare, with spring
all greenin' up this way I'd be found
.••ampin' up In Central park some night
and took off to the calaboose. I Juat
got to get out again where you. can
feel the wind blow and see a hundred
miles and don't have to dodge horsy-
less horse cars every minute. It's a
wonder one of 'em ain't got me In this
town. You come oh in the car, and do
the Btyle fur the family. One of them
common Pullmans is good enough fur
Marthy and me. And besides. I*got to
get Billy Brue back. He's goln' plumb
daft loot.ln' night and day fur that
mau that got his $30 and his breast-
pi He says there'll be an ambulance
backed up at the spot where he mee s
him—makes no difference If it's right
on Fifth avenue. Billy's kind of near-
sighted at that, so I'm mortal afra d
he'll make a mistake one of these,
nights and take some honest man's
money and trinkets away from him."
Percival saw them to the train.
"Take care of youiself," said Uncle
Peter at parilng. "You know I ain't
any good any more, and you got a
whole family, Includln an Englishman,
dependlu on you—we'" throw him on
"YOU ARE M1S8 SPRING?"
lng in the doorway, while Shepier and
Mrs. Van Oeist went on Into the store.
"Mr. Bines—I'm so glad!"
She stood, flushed with pleasure,
radiant in stuff of filmy pink, with lit-
tle fler-ks at her threat and waist of
the first tender green of new leaves.
She was unaffectedly delighted to see
; "You are Miss Spring?" he said
I wheu she had given him her hand—
| "and you've come into all your mother
had that was worth Inheriting, haven't
"Mr. Bines, shall we not see you
I now? I wanted so much to talk with
you when I heard everything. Would
it be Impertinent to say I sympathized
w .h you?"
He looked over her shoulder in
where Shepier and Mrs. Van Gelst
were inspecting a tray of Jewels.
"Of course not impertinent—very
kind—only I'm really not in need of
any sympathy at all. You won't un-
derstand it; but we don't care so much
j for money in the west—for the loss of
it—not bo much as you New Yorkers
[would. Besides, we can always mike
a plenty more."
The situation was. emphatically, not
as he had bo often dreamed it when
j she should marvel, perhaps regretful-
. ly, over his superiority to her husband
as a money-maker. His only relief
was to belittle the importance of his
(TO BE CONTINUED.)
fritons as Beef Eaters. „
A recent publication by the depart-
ment of agricultures hows that Great
Britain imports more meat animals
and packing houae products than all the
ether countries of Europe combined.
The value of such British imports for
1904 was 1283,000,000. Nearly all the
live meat animal imported in Great
Britain conies from the United States
and Canada. The British fresh beef
trade seems to be drifting away from
the United States. Five years ngo 76
per ceut. was supplied from this coun-
try; two per cent, from Argentina and
22 per cent, from other countries, in
1904 55 per cent, came from the Unit-
ed States. 39 per cent, from Argentina
and six per cent, from other countrif*.
Argentina, with a population no larger
than Pennsylvania, is fast establishing
an important rivalry with the United
j States In furnishing to our most Im-
| portant customer not only fresh meats
but breadstuffs.—Phlladelnhl.i Record.
Little Girl's Obstinate Caee of Eczema
—Mother layi: "Cuticura Reme-
dies a Household Standby."
"Last year, after having my little
girl treated by a very prominent
physician, for an obstinate case of
eczema, 1 resorted to the Cuticura
Remedies, and waa so well pleased
with the almost instantaneous relief
afforded that we discarded the phyai-
clan's prescription and relied entirely
on the Cuticura Soap, Cuticura Oint-
ment, and Cuticura Pills. When we
commenced with the Cuticura Reme-
dies her feet and limbs were covered
with running sores. In about nix
weeks we had her completely well,
and there has been no recurrence or
the trouble. We find that the Outl-
cura Remedies are a valuable house-
hold standby, living as we do, twelve
mileB from a doctor, and where It
costs from twenty to twenty-live dol-
lars to come up on the mountain.
Mrs. Lizzie Vincent Thomas, Pair-
mount. Walden's Ridge, Tean., Oct.
If a woman laughs at a man's Jokes
It's because he Isn't her husband.
Fruit acids will not stain goods dyed
with PUTNAM FADELESS DYES, and
the colors we bright and fast.
Every man has an excuse for drink-
ing—and each is worse than the
Lewis' Single Binder straight 8c cigar
made of rich, mellow tobacco. Your
dealer or Lewis' Factory, Peoria, HI.
No man can be brave who considers
pain the greatest evil of life; or tem-
perate, who regards pleasure as the
That an article may be good as well
as cheap, aim give entire satisfaction.
Is proven by the extraordinary sale of
Defiance Starch, each package con-
taining one-third more Starch than
can be had of any other brand for the
She went down to a swell play the
other evening, attired In a superb
white gown and wearing a splendid
opera cloak. In fact, she was stun-
ning. As she seated herself, she was
about to remove the long red cloak
when with horror and consternation
depicted on her face she discovered
something! My, what a predica-
ment! She had prepared supper be-
fore leaving for the show, and there,
covering the front of the white skirt
was a lowly calico checked apron.
She managed to remove it after the
house had darkened, and the next
morning the sweeper at the Colonial
found an apron under one of the seats,
—Pitts field Journal.
Attendance at Liepsic Fair.
At the I^elpsic fall fair of 1906, the
number of firms represented as buyers
was 9.880, as against 9,105 In 1905 and
7,534 In 1903; an Increase of over 31
per cent during the last three years.
The United States and Canada were
represented by 114 buyers, while Latin
America, Asia and Europe were also
well represented. The official Bet of
sellers thlB year shows that 3,275 firms
had exhibits, as against 3,101 in 1905.
The countries represented, and the
number of firms from each, were as
follows; German empire, 2,961; Aus-
tria-Hungary, 228; France. 40; Great
Britain, 13; Netherlands, 13; Switzer-
land. 6; Italy, 5; Belgium. 4; Den-
mark, 2; Sweden, 2, and the United
IT'S THE FOOD.
The True Way to Correct Nervous
Nervous troubles are more often
caused by Improper food and indiges-
tion than most ]>eople Imagine. Even
doctors sometimes overlook this fact.
A man says:
"Uutil two years ago waffles and
butter with meat and gravy were the
main features of my breakfast. Final-
ly dyspepsia came on and 1 found my-
self in a bad condition, worse in the
morning than any other tlip®. I would
have a full, sick feeling In my stom-
ach, with pains in my heart, aides and
"At times I would have no appetite
for days, then I would feel ravenous,
never satisfied when I did eat and so
nervous I felt like shrieking at the
top of my voice. I lost flesh badly
and hardly knew which way to turn
until one day I bought a box of Qrape-
Nuts food to see If I could eat that.
I tried It without telling the doctor,
and liked it fine; made me feel as If
I had something to eat that was satis-
fying and still I didn't have that
heaviness that I had felt after eating
any other food.
"I hadn't drank any coffee then In
five weeks. I kept on with the Grape-
Ntits and In a month and a half 1 had
gained IB pounds, could eat almost
anything I wanted, didn't feel badly
after eating and my nervousness was
all gone. It's a pleasure to be well
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek, Mich. Read the book. "The
Road to Wellvllle," In pkgs. "There'
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Watrus, P. B. Woods County News. (Carmen, Okla.), Vol. 8, No. 51, Ed. 1 Friday, November 16, 1906, newspaper, November 16, 1906; (gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc235388/m1/2/: accessed June 22, 2018), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.