The Messenger. (Drummond, Okla.), Vol. 4, No. 8, Ed. 1 Thursday, April 13, 1911 Page: 2 of 8
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PUT YOUTH ON HIS GUARD
Evidently Rc.ta cf Rs.'-arce* Lor.f
Patter Made No Appeal to Hie
Feeiir.gi.
"Char said a ■harp-Toiced wom-
en to ber husband 5n a ra.i'a&y ca^
rlage "do f<ra krurw that you ac! I
once had a romance in a rail*a/ car-
riage r*
• Never b*ard of It," replied Cbirlea
lo a subdued tone.
"I thought you hadn't; bat don't yon
renumber, It *u that pair of slippers
I presented to you the Cbriatmaa be-
fore we were married that led to our
union? Yoa renseinber how nicely
they fitted don't yon? W*M. Charles,
or.« day when *e were going to a p:o-
nic you had your feet upon a seat,
and when you were cot looking I took
your me&jr;re. But for that pair of
•JJppeni I don't bei:--?e we'd hare tTer
been married."
A young utirarried man sitting by
tm edfate!y to.it down hii feet irom
tte Mat.—Ideas Jfagaiite
IN THE VERNACULAR.
Rooft.frr—Your lie's lajlng for you!
Drake—Gee'. I guess 111 duck-
Truly Wonderful Cat.
A wonderful cat 1b that owned by
Mr. A. J. Oorring#, a tradesman of
Ditching, England. Mr. fiorringe has
a bantam which lays her eggs In dif-
ferent parts of the yard, but his cat
never falls to find them. She takes
the egg between her teeth, places It
on the step, and rattles the door
handle with her paws until her mis-
tress arrives to take In the egg. Not
one of the eggs has yet been broken.
Classification.
"Sir," said a little blustering man
to a religious opponent; "I say, sir,
do you know to what sect I belong?"
"Well, I don't exactly know," was
the answer; "but to judge by your
make, shape, and size, I should say
you belonged to a class called the in-
sect."
lTHE KEYSTONEJ
TO HEALTH
IS
HOSTETTEFTS
STOMACH
BITTERS
The Bitters is a boon to
those in convalescence—
when a tonic and strength
maker is needed.
Try it and see.
X word to (he wise Is sulllclent.
Make the Liver
Do its Duty
Nine lima* in ten when the liver ii right tha
itonisch and boweli are right.
CARTER S LITTLE
LIVER PILLS
gently hut firmly
E'i'S.1"" "yfiSI Carters
Curei Con* BlTTLE
atipntion
Indiges
tion,
Sick
Headache, and Distress after Eating.
Small Pill, Small Dou, Small Price
Genuine nmrtbeai Signature
PILLS.
PARKER'S
HAIR BALSAM
Cloanafta and twautlflM the hair.
Promote! a luxuriant Rrowth.
Nevrr Falls to Beatoro Orsy
Hair to Ita Youthful Color.
Curia atalp illaeaata a hair (ailing.
anil > I ml al I)ru nlata
APPRECIATION
-
KVZ>sjei*G<& 4 MVZZX'W&CVA JtTJT
Copyright by Underwood & Underwood. New York.
"Aint you Just the dearest bunnies, to lay all the pretty Easter eggs.
HAD ITS DRAWBACK.
"Yes," said the gray-bearded philos-
opher, "there Is a way to make an
Easter bonnet that will not be a dead
loss when it goes out of style."
"And what way is that?" asks the
noxious father of four girls.
"O course, there will be some small
loss because of the foundation, which
need be but a cheap wire frame.
Upon this construct an afTalr com-
posed of five and ten dollar bills,
which may be folded and twisted into
leaves and draperies, then garnish
the design with bangles of gold and
silver coins."
The anxiouB father sighed morose-
ly.
"Yes," he remarked. "The scheme
might be all right if It wasn't that
the girls would all get married while
those hats were In style."
LIKE MOTHER, LIKE DAUGHTER.
LIKE A LAMB TO 8LAUGHTER.
"Where is that new dress you had
made to wear today?" asks the hus-
band when his wife announces that
she Is ready for church.
"I—I—you see, dear,' she con-
fesses, "the cook was angry and
threatened to quiet, so I gave It to
her to put her in a good humor and
get her to stay awhile longer with
UB."
JUDGMENT.
*
INFANTILE PARALYSIS
BrMl'TOMR CAUHK mid PHKVKN'J'ION. Komi J?a
for booklet. TllK A'l'ISH a I ri lit mont that hna roatoiva
evnrjr caan tronHxt In lhi> oust two jri-nri.. f'Mni. I'ltOK.
H. 11,'JUMM, Ill-till Ku. I. Id Federal hlrt-M, I'liubart, I'a.
"aiMearaa, uaa i Thompson's Eyo Wator
r
Uaati
"That's a line hat your wife wears."
The eminent Jurist gazed sadly at
the hnt as it bobbed doxvn the street
on the head of the sharer of his Joys
and sorrows.
"Yes," he agreed, in Judicial tones
"fine—and costs."
Spring Debility
condition of the blood which causes that tired
feeling and loss of appetite ns well « the pimples,
boils and other eruptions so common at this season.
It Is cured by the great constitutional remedy
Hood's Sarsaparilla
MADE HIS ESCAPE IN TIME
ON THE RAILROAD TRAIN.
"And I think it is positively brutal
of you to talk as you do Just because
I spent what I did for the bonnet,"
continues the wife. "And I am going
right home to mother, so there!"
"I wouldn't if I were you," replies
the husband, without looking up from
his paper.
"O, of course you wouldn't!"
"Well, your father telephoned me
that your mother is angry with him
because he thinks she paid too much
for her bonnet, and that she Is pack-
ing her trunk to come and live with
you."
H18 IMPRE8SION.
"Our landlady has a cabinet of
rare antiques," observes tbe star
boarder.
"I suppose so," says the new board-
er, regarding his Easter egg with
some concern.
"Yes, it is In the corner of the
parlor."
"In the p*rlor? Why, I thought It
must be in the pantry."
TIRED OF THEM.
"Why doesn't your brother go to
church this morning and see all the
pretty bonnets and frocks?"
"He's a window trimmer."
Excuse lis, but ringing the Easter
belle is not always a preliminary an-
nouncorrient of the coming of th«
June bride.
First Passenger—So you're a base-
ball umpire, eh? I'm a banker, and
I guess It's been 20 years since I was
inside of baseball grounds.
Second Passenger—Well, I guess
It's been about 20 years since I Was
Inside of a bank.
You Never Can Tell.
A certain 'cellist was once snow-
bound for three hours at a small rail-
road station. He unpacked his 'cello
and played his dozen fellow sufferers
a request program with the result that
one of them took him to Europe for a
year. You never can tell as you bear
your precious fiddle-case through the
streets what magic casement may not
open on the foam (of steins), and
what fairy hand may not beckon you
within to do the one thing needful to
opus fifty-nine, or draw a valiant bow
In the battle of Schumann quiiftet.—
Robert H. Sc.hauffler, in the Atlantic.
Important to Mothers
Examine carefully every bottle of
CASTORIA, a safe and sure remedy for
Infants and ch )dren, and see that It
Bears the
Signature of
In Use For Over 30 Years.
Children Cry for Fletcher's Castoria
Absent-Minded Suffragette.
One of the Suffragettes—I've lost
me best hatpin, Lizzie.
Another—Where did you leave it
last?
The First—Oh, I remember now! I
left it sticking In that policeman!—
London Opinion.
Getting the Worst of It.
"Bliggins Isn't very lucky in driving
bargains."
"No. He says he can't even change
his own mind without getting the
worst of the deal."
Metaphors of Millionaire Found No Re-
sponse In the Breast of the
Farmer.
The millionaire accepted the farm-
er's cordial invitation to ride, and with
much scrambling gained a seat on top
of the hay.
"My good man," said the millionaire,
patronizingly, "this swaying, rolling,
sweet-scented divan is a couch upon
which I could win slumber and be ir-
resistible to the arms of Morpheuv
whenever I courted sweet sleep."
The farmer stiffened. "I'll hear no
more of your talk; I'm a respectable
married man, an' I'll ask you where
you're goln' so I can avoid the place."
Dreamily the millionaire smiled.
"I'm getting back to Mother Nature,
who has been outraged and abused by
me for years; I am a broken man,
and she will forgive me and bring me
back to health."
The farmer stopped the team and
pulled a three-tlned pitchfork from
the brace socket—but his passenger
was gone.—Success Magazine.
Truth a Trouble Maker.
A West Philadelphia man and his
wife have separated. None of their
friends know why, but one, being curi-
ous, asked the husband:
"What was the trouble between you
and your wife?"
"O, nothing much. She bought a
new hat for $20 and asked me what I
thought of it. And I told her. That's
all."
Not Responsible.
Teacher—You are late every morn-
ing.
Pupil—Well, It Isn't my fault that
you didn't build your blamed old
school house nearer my home.
Garfield Tea will win your approval. It
is pleasant to take, mild in action and very
health-giving. It overcomes constipation.
A pleasant smile and a sweet voice
are great helps on life's Journey.
Tell the dealer you want a Lewis' Single
Binder straight 6c cigar.
Reducing the waits between the
acts will not lighten a heavy play.
TO DRIVE Ot'T MA I. A RIA
.. 15111 v 1 F TnE WTSTKM
Tate the Old Standard oKoV'KS TASTKLBSS
CHILL TONIC. Y'jo nr. w bat jon ar« taking.
The formula Is piaiuij printed on erery bottle
showing it Is simply yu.r. r. arifl Iron In a. taste-
less form. The Oniriin* 'intc* out the malaria
and the Iron builds up tJi* uritem. bold by all
dealers for 80 years, price SO emu.
His Future.
Knlcker—Is he a has been?
Bocker—No, a going to was.
TEIXOW CLOTHES ARE I'.V.fIGHTLY.
Keep them white with RH Cro*s Hall Blue
All grocers sell large 2 oz. package, 5 cents."
Full life exists in three dimensions,
art in two, and science in one; like a
solid, a superficies, and a line.
Sickly Smile
Wipe it off your otherwise
good looking face—put on that
good health smile that CAS-
CARETS will give you—as
a result from the aire of
Constipation—or a torpid liver.
It's so easy—do it—you'll see.
913
CASCARETS JOc a box for a week's
treatment, all druggists. Bigrsrest seller
in the world. Million boxes u month.
Take Garfield Tea in the spring to purify
tha blood and cleanse the system.
Envy is punishing ourselves for be-
ing Inferior to our neighbor.
A COUNTRY SCHOOL FOR GIRLS
I in New York City. Best features of coun-
try and city life. Out-of-door sports on
school park of 35 acres near the Hudson
| I<iver. Academic Course Primary Class to
| Graduation. Upper class for Advanced
Special Students. Music and Art. Write
for catalogue and terms.
"4 "I" Chiton. Rlvtrdalt Avenut. ncir25)rd St.Wtst. A. I
W. N. U., WICHITA, NO. 15-1911.
A Poor Weak Woman
As she is termed, will endure bravely and patiently
af;onies which a strong man would <ive way under.
The fact is women are more patient than they ought
to be under Buch troubles.
Every woman ought to know that the m«7 obtain
the most experienced medical advice free of charm
and in absolute confidence and privacy by writing to
the World's Dispensary Medical Association, R. V.
Pierce, M. D., President, Buffalo, N. Y. Dr. Pierc®
has been chief consulting physician of the Invalids'
Hotel and Surgical Institute, of Buffalo, N. Y., for
many years and has had a wider practical experience
in the treatment of women's diseases than any other physician ia this country,
iiu medicines are world-famous for their astonishing eflicacy.
The most perfect remedy ever devUed for weak and deli-
cate women is Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription.
IT MAKES WEAK WOMEN STRONG.
SICK WOMEN WRLL.
The many and varied symptoms of woman', peculiar ailmcntH ore fully set
forth in Plain English in the People's Medical Adviser (1008 pages), a newly
revised and up-to-date Edition, cloth-hound, will he sent on receipt of M one-
oent stamps to pay ov$t U wrapping and mailing only. Address as shove.
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Messenger, D. E. The Messenger. (Drummond, Okla.), Vol. 4, No. 8, Ed. 1 Thursday, April 13, 1911, newspaper, April 13, 1911; Drummond, Oklahoma. (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc235279/m1/2/: accessed April 17, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.