The Medford Patriot. (Medford, Okla.), Vol. 18, No. 32, Ed. 1 Thursday, May 18, 1911 Page: 2 of 8
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R. T. Simons, Pub.
DON'T NEGLECT
YOLK KIDNEYS.
MEDFORD,
I OK LA.
The loafer's Idea of pleasure !■
watch other men work.
Lobsters nre 85 rents a pound, but
burnan lobsters are as cheap as ever.
Ft Is a pity that women cannot make
their heads trow to fit the hats they
wear.
Perhaps, nfier all. the harem skirt
was invented for the special benefit of
the press agents.
Nobody Is crowded In Nevada.
There are only seven-tenths of a man
to the square mile.
The price of lobsters has gone up.
This does not reftr to the foreign
matrimonial market.
Boston women have a club where
they may smoke. What are our Bos-
ton women, coming to?
im Kidney
troublS
At4RRH0FK">NE
EXPERIENCE.
If Is remarkable what large bale#
*>f hair some of the women have dis-
carded without catching cold.
The Inventor of fly paper Is running
Ifor office In California. As a candi-
date, he ought to be able to stick.
That New York school teacher who
■was fined $1,200 for hugging women
teachers has evidently both loved and
lost.
Tuffs Pills
The dy.peptlc, the debilitated, whether from
Hicsgofwork of mind or body, drink or ei-
" malarial regions,
will find Tutt'a Pill, the mn.t genial rotor*,
tlve ever offered the (uttering Invalid.
One of the scientists has found out
that eating sauerkraut prolongs life.
But why prolong it if one must eat
eauerkraut?
YEARS
OLD
WANTED f?pn
nun Eli b«rber tradei
f ovr wtoki compute.; pr ctle*l
lnntructloM; unlimited prao-
tlce; tools donated; boeittona
fruerantoed: fixtures rumitlied
or hop. rtducnJ tu 111 on price.
*wlille learning, dlplo-
maftfrranted. Acta wane Kvntem
of ltarl *T 1 '"J Irvra 7lh K 1
ft*, Ken., Ill £
Pen it's Eve Salve
Judging from the tales of our Lon-
don correspondents, the coronation PATENTS fortnne« m <i« in patents. Pro-
Will be run for the benefit of Amer- Wwnu"•
lean millionaires. - —
A Poetic Prosecutor.
We are now approaching the sea- 1 r, J°hn Burns> clty Prosecutor of St.
pon when one should be able to look i'' WaS tr-vlng t0 shovf Judge Fine-
st dish of Ice cream in the face with- 1 Why some young men ought 10
lout causing it to blush ) be flued for 'earing pickets off the
' | fence of Mrs. Joe Goeslk. Mr. Burns
Why does a beautiful woman marry ! ,,,,
■n ugly man? For one reason, she ^now M^e Chicket tore off that
Wisely refuses to permit competition P ^ ^ t0°k offeDce "
Teacher—Tommy, what is a co-
quette?
Tommy—It's a thing you make out
of what's left of the Btewed chicken.
IN THE GOOD OLD SUMMER TIME.
Many a time this summer you're go-
ing to be Just about done out by the
heat—hot, and so thirsty It Just seems
nothing could quench It. When such
momenta arrive or when you Just
want a delicious, palate tickling drink
■top into the first place you can find
where they sell COCA-COLA. It's de-
licious, refreshing and completely
thirst-quenching. At soda-fountains or
carbonated In bottles—5c everywhere.
Send to the COCA-COLA CO., Atlanta,
Ga„ for their free booklet "The Truth
About COCA-COLA." Tells what
COCA-COLA Is and why It is so deli-
cious, cooling and wholesome.
KIDNEY TROUBLE
CAUSES LUMBAGO
Remarkable StoryAboutGreat Remedy
I cannot refrain from writing to ny
that your Switnip-lloot has benefited me
greatly. Last year I hud a severe attack
of lumbago. Was bad for a long time,
and on seeing your advertisement, 1 de-
termined to give it a trial. 1 did «o and
in two weeks was curcd. I gave a bottle
to a poor woman who could scarcely walk,
fche came to me in four days to tell me
(he was all right and most thankful. I
hud another attack last November and
was so bad that I could not rise from my
chair without assistance and could hardly
lace up my boots. I at once sent for
niore Swamp-Root and after taking two
bottles, I am more than glad that I am
well again. My age being seventy-three, I
am the more convinced of the excellence
of Dr. Kilmer's Swamp-Root.
Yours vcrv trurv,
HENRY 'SEARLE,
1410 Arch Street. Little Kock, Ark.
letter to
nr. Ill.tr A f«.
R!iurh«iaton, K. T.
I LOST FAITH IN WHITE MAN
Eskimo Tested Efficacy of Telephone
Scheme, and Realized He Had
Been Deceived.
An inleroKtlng Btory Is told regard-
ing the efforts of an Eskimo to con-
struct a telephone line. The Eskimo
came into possession of a piece of wire
of considerable length and never hav-
ing seen wire before he asked Profes-
sor McMillan of the Peary north pole
expedition what it was and what it
was used for. He was told that the white
man strung it on poles stuck in the
ground and a voice talking to an in-
strument at one end could be heard at
the other end. After some seurch the
next morning the Eskimo was found
to be engaged In telephone construc-
tion work of his own. He stuck some
sticks In the ground and hung his
wire on theni. He held one end of
the wire to his mouth and talked to
It at the top of his voice. Then he
ran as fast as ho could to the other
end and held the wire to his ear with
the expectation of hearing his own
words repeated.
When he failed to hear any sounds
Well Mated.
Thus the Inquisitive boarder;
"What has become of the old-faslv
ioned woman who used to call a wed-
ding reception nn Infare?"
Response by the white-haired
boarder:
"I think she married the old-
fashioned man who used to crack hla
knuckles regularly twice a day."
Prove What Swamp-Root Will Do For You
Rend to^ Dr. Kilmer 4 Co., Bingham-
ton, N. Y., for a sample bottle. It will
convince anyone. You will also receive, the expression on his face "revealed
tll .hnnf ^i yaluable "l onnation, telling | bis opinion of bis white friend,
all about the kidneys and bladder. \\ hen
writing, be sure and mention this paper.
For sale at all drug stores. Price fifty.
ccnta and one-dollar.
Local Color.
"1 understand that sixteen different
women have brought suit for breach
of promise against Riter. What's his
defense?"
"Oh, he claims that he was simply
getting material for his annual output
of summer love stories."—Puck.
right in her own family.
It's dollars to tie hole In a dough-
nut that the Pennsylvania Judge who
indvlsed an accused man never to re-
ply to the taunts of an angry woman
Us a married man.
No lady is charged with taking a
fence," replied Judge Finehout, "and,
besides, this is no place for poetry."
GETTING FRIENDLY.
Important to Mothers
Examine carefully every bottle of
CASTORIA, a safe and sure remedy for
Infants and children, and see that it
Bears the
Signature ^
In Use For Over 30*YeanT
Children Cry for Fletcher's Castoria
To the Childish Mind.
Dorothy Ullman of E. Eighty-fourth
street, is a very literal young person.
To her mother's definition of the All-
Seeing Eye she returned a question
as to the size of the eye.
"Can God see everything?" she con-
tinued.
"Yes, dear. He can see everything
at all times."
That afternoon Dorothy escorted her
mother down town. Before an op-
tician's display she stopped. Then,
"Mother," she asked, pointing to the
big winking eye In the window: "Is
God's eye as big as this?"—Cleveland
Leader.
nu cnnaren, ana see that it
Judging by the number and location
on the harem skirt "riots." the con-
cern producing that remarkable con-
trivance has a large and efficient
•corps of press agents.
The yellow Journals are not having
imuch success in reviving the old war
cry of "Remember the Alamo." "Re-
member the alimony" probably would
hrlng more tangible resulta.
An English paper advises: "If any
«e attacks you with a club, bind his
wrists together with a handkerchief."
Certainly. Then you tuck him under
your arm and carry him off to a police
station.
Y
said
A Strange Situation.
"Humor is a funny thing,
BInks.
"It ought to be," said the Philoso-
pher.
"Oh, I don't mean that way," said
BInks. "I mean that It Is a strange
thing. Now, I can't speak French,
but I can always understand a French
Joke, and I can speak English, but I'm
blest If I can see an English Joke."
"Most people are," said the Philo-
sopher.
"Are what?" said BInks.
"Blest If they can see an English
Joke," said the Philosopher. "It is a
sign of an unusually keen vision."—
Harper's Weekly.
Hie Wurst.
The German proprietor of a Brook-
lyn delicatessen store has got far
enough along to pun In English. A
writer in the New York Sun reports
the fact.
Hanging In the window of the little
shop lg this advertisement:
"The Best You Can Do Is Buy Our
Wurst."—Youth's Companion.
Made It Neceitary.
"Horace Greeley invented the type-
writer."
"Where did you get that Idea?"
"Well, that Isn't exactly what I
mean, but his handwriting was prob-
ably more responsible for it than any
other one thing."
Laundry work at home would be
much more satisfactory if the right
Starch were used. In order to get the
desired stiffness, it is usually neces-
sary to use so much starch that the
beauty and fineness of the fabric is
hidden behind a paste of varying
thickness, which not only destroys the
appearance, but also affects the wear-
ing quality of the goods. This trou-
ble can be entirely overcome by using
Defiance Starch, as It can be applied
much more thinly because of its great-
er strength than other makes.
Some Antique Mugs,
The college collector of antiques
stopped off at Bacon Ridge.
"Good day, sir," he Bald, addressing
the postmaster. "I am collecting old-
fashioned articles and would like to
know if I could find anything like that
Stomach Distress?
Don't Worry — That
Only Makes Matters
Worse, Just Get a
Bottle of
Hosteller's
Stomach Bitters
today and see how quick-
ly your trouble will dis-
appear. There is noth-
ing like it for Stomach
and Liver ills or Malarial
disorders.
At All Druggists and Dealers
Avoid Substitutes
GETTING A HIGH STANDARD
Child's Idea of Goodness 8et Forth
In Perfect Faith, Without
Irreverence.
All things are relative, and to the
child, gazing at life and Its wonders
with eyes as yet undlmmed by so-
phistication or sorrow, nothing is im-
possible, nothing unspeakable, noth-
ing too sacred to be discussed or too
Tom Making any progress in your
In view of the fact that more than - -
125,000,000 are expected to be spent ! ,uit for Miss Millyun's hand?
"by Americans at the British corona- I Dick—Oh, yes.
tion. the American Invasion is not
causing much worry among London
ahopkeepers.
Tom—Why, I heard her father kick-
ed you out every time you called.
Dick—Yes; but he doesn't kick me
as hard as he used to.
To the Point.
Over In Hoboken in a shop frequent-
ed by Germans, hangs a Bign framed
In mournful black, reading thus:
"We regret to inform our honored
customers that our good and generous
friend, Mr. Credit, expired today. He
was a noble soul, always willing and
helpful, but has been failing for some
time. May he rest in peace. PAY
CASH!"
A woman has succeeded to the wn-
ership of a baseball franchise. She
will have to learn at last, without ask-
ing somebody In the grand stand, why I
the runner cannot advance until after '
the fly is caught.
FEED YOUNG GIRLS
Must Have Right Food While Growing.
Great care should be taken at the
critical period when the young girl is
Just merging into womanhood that the
diet shall contain that which is up-
building and nothing harmful.
At that age the structure is being
The expectation of being pleased
which prevails so much in young per-
sons is one great source of their en-
joyments.—Bowdler.
An Inexpensive substitute has been
found for radium which is claimed to
le quite as effective. Now the general , -
public does not care how soon the ,orn](d and lf formed of a healthy,
price of radium goes up a few mora Btlfrdy character, health and happiness
millions or so a pound. I follow; on the other hand un-
' ! healthy cells may be built in and a
A Brooklyn flat dweller made him- ?,lck condjuon f'owly supervene which,
eelf unpopular with the rest of the
tenants by always paying his rent
when It was due. A good example Is
something that people sometimes
don't care to have around.
When a married woman prays for a
hat the Lord may answer her prayer,
but it's her husband who pays for It
Too Much Like Work.
"The boss's son is kicking"
"Why?"
"Say's he's overworked. All he used
to do was tear the pages off the office
calendars once a month. Now he has
to wind the eight-day clock, too."
Foolish.
"I am going to ask your father
tonight for your hand In marriage."
How dreadfully old fashioned you
are."
"In what way?"
"Don't ask him; tell him."
in this hamlet. Say antique mugs, for I dlfflcuIt to b® attempted. Not irrev-
instance.
Uncle Jason stroked his chin whis-
kers.
"Antique mugs! By hek, I know the
very place where thar be two of them
now."
"You do? Here's a good cigar. Now
where can I find these antique mugs?"
"Why, down on Main street, in Hi-
ram Spruceby's shop. Grandad Wheat-
ley and Pap Simmons are in there
getting shaved, and by hek, when it
comes to antique mugs, I reckon
thars' be the oldest in the country
stranger.
Consistent.
Doctor—You are considerably under
weight, sir. What have you been
doing?
Patient—Nothing. But I'm a retired
grocer, doc—Puck.
Quite Often.
Figg—Two negatives make an af-
firmative, you know.
Fogg—With a woman it takes only
one.
if not checked, may ripen into a
chronic condition and cause life-long
Buffering,
A young lady says:
"Coffee began to have such an effect
on my stomach a few years ago that I
A new use has been found for tele- flnally quit "sing it. It brought on
phone receivers. A woman out in Ca'l- | headaches' Pains to my muscles, and
fornia took her off the Instrument I De"'ous"ess-
every Friday and use it to darn stock- W use ^ ln its Btead- but
lngs on. With a little thought doubt, I , d its effe'c,s even worse than those
lees other domestic uses could be de- 1 6uffered froi coffee. Then for a long
vised. 1 Ulne 1 <Jr<mk milk at my meals, but at
last it palled on me. A friend came to
the rescue with the suggestion that I
An artist Is one who can create
that which has the power to haunt
the mind.
There is still plenty of honey in the
rock for the man who has the pa-
tience to keep on pegging away until
he gets to it.
A Question of Change.
A story is going the rounds of
couple of young people who attended
church recently. When the collection
was being taken up the young man
commenced fishing in his pocket for
a dime. His face expressed his em-
barrassment as he hoarsely whis-
pered: "I guess I haven't a cent, I
changed my pants." The young lady,
who had been examining the unknown
regions of woman's dress for her
purse, turned a pink color and said;
"I'm ln the same fix."
"Kicking the Bucket."
When we speak facetiously of some
one for whom we have no reverence
as having "kicked the bucket" we
employ a . phrase that would seem to
be a piece of latter-day slang, but, as
a matter of fact, It dates back to old
England, when, about the year 1725,
one Bolsover hung himself to a beam
while standing on the bottom of a
bucket and then kicked the bucket
away. Although at first used only in
cases of suicide, it has been applied
in the course of years to any death
without distinction.
A woman in a Pennsylvania town
rejected 160 offers of marriage. And
yet there are In certain sections a
big surplus feminine population, and
the law is powerless to attack a fas-
cination trust.
try Postum.
"I did so, only to find at first, that I
didn't fancy it But I had heard of so
many persons who had been benefited
by its U6e that I persevered, and when
I had it made right—according to dl-
New Orleans school teacher has I ?? ,°n packa«e-1 found "
'ted a new grammar. We earnest flaroor nn? Boot^ and
strengthening to my stomach. I can
find no words to express my feeling
of what I owe to Postum!
"In every respect it has worked a
wonderful improvement—the head-
aches, nervousness, the pains in my
side and back, all the distressing
symptoms yielded to the magic power
of Postum. My brain seems also to
share In the betterment of my phys-
ical condition; It seems keener, more
A
Invented a new grammar. We earnest
ly hope it contains simple directions
whereby people who think they are
educated may cure themselves of the
4iabit of saying "those kind."
A New York policeman poet has
written a parody on "The Old Oaken
Bucket." which he hopes to have
adopted as the country's national an-
them. He must be an able hoper,
whatever his ability as a poet may be , . .
_ 1 \ alert and brighter. I am. in short, in
1 better health now than for a long
A gold medal and >1,000 are to be
^warded annually to the person doing
the most for the advance of surgery.
Now It is In order for some lover of
his kind to offer a gold medal and
12.000 for the person doing the most
for the progress of the patients of a*
Wanced surgery.
while before, and I am sure I owe It
to the use of your Postum." Name
given by Postum Company, Battle
Creek, Mich.
"There's a reason."
Ever rrad the akore letter* A m
« appear* from time t* time. They
are geaalae. true, and tall of kamu
tetereat.
A Strong Preference.
"She is literary, isn't she?"
"Yes, indeed; she'd rather read
than do housework any day."
erence nor impertinence, but inno-
cence prompts such speeches as that
recorded of the child of a popular
Journalist by his devoted paternal
grandmother.
"Grandma," said the little boy, de-
lightedly addressing her, "do you
know what's going to happen? Papa
says that if we're real, real good, he'll
take us to the circus!"
"That's nice," smiled the youn*.
hearted adult between whom and the
eager youngling no hint of age sepa-
ration mars perfect comradeship.
"How good do we have to be?"
The embryo man, after a moment of
silent consideration: "Oh, as good aa
God, I guess!"
6oclally Launched.
In his native town Jimmy had at
ways been most popular with young
and old, but when he was sent away
to boarding school, he was for a time
too homesick to make friends. His
first letter was little more than a
wail.
I'm way behind the other boys la
everything," he wrote, dolefully.
'Tisn't only studies, but it's gymna*
slum and banjos and everything. I
don't believe they'll ever have much
use for me."
But the second letter, written after
a week in the new school, was quite
different in tone.
"I'm all right," he wrote to hla
mother. "The boys say they'll teach
me all they know, for they're proud
to have me here. I can stretch my
mouth half an inch wider than any
other boy in school, and my feet are
the longest by a full inch. So you
needn't worry about me any more."—«
Youth's Com|anion.
Strictly Business.
Mrs. Knicker—Did you hold a short
session with your husband?
Mrs. Bocker—Yes, I merely had him
pass an appropriation bill.
Can't Get Away From It
Is It possible to nourish, strengthen and Re-
build the Brain by Food?
Every man who thinks uses up part of the
brain each day. Why don't It all disappear
and leave an empty skull in say a month of
brain work? Because the man rebuilds each
day.
If he builds a little less than he destroys,
brain fag and nervous prostration result sure.
If he builds back a little more fcach day,~tEe
brain grows stronger and more capable. That
also is sure. Where does man get the material
to rebuild his brain? Is it from air, sky or the
Ice of the Arctic sea? When you come to
think about it, the rebuilding material must
be in the food and drink.
That also is Biire,
Are the brain rebuilding materials found ln
all food? In a good variety but not in suitable
proportion in all.
To illustrate: we know bones are made large-
ly of lime and magnesia taken from food-
therefore to make healthy bone structure we
must have food containing these things. We
would hardly feed only sugar and fat to make
healthy bone structure ln a growing child.
Likewise If we would feed in a skillful man-
ner to insure getting what the brain requires
for strength and rebuilding, we must first know
what the brain Is composed of and then select
some article or articles (there are more than
one) that contain these elements.
Analysis of brain by an unquestionable
authority, Geoghegan, shows of Mineral Salts.
Phosphoric Acid and Potash combined (Phos-
phate of Potash) 2.91 per cent of the total
6.33 of all mineral Salts.
This is over one-half.
Beaunis, another authority, shows -phos-
phoric Acid combined" and Potash 73.44 per
cent from a total of 101.07.
Considerable more than one-half of Phos-
phate of Potash.
Analysis of Grape-Nuts shows: Potassium
and Phosphorus (which Join and make Phos-
phate of Potash) is considerable more than
one-half of all the mineral salts in the food.
Dr. Geo. W. Carey, an authority on the
constituent elements of the body, says: "The
gray matter of the brain is controlled entirely
by the inorganic cell-salt, Potassium phos-
phate (Phosphate of Potash). This salt unites
with albumen and by the addition of oxygen
creates nerve fluid or the gray matter of the
brain. Of course, there is a trace of other
salts and other organic matter in nerve fluid
but Potassium Phosphate is the chief factor
and has the power within Itself to attract, by
its own law of affinity, all things needed to
manufacture the elixir of life."
Further on he says: "The beginning and end
of the matter is to supply the lacking principle,
and in molecular form, exactly as nature fur-
nishes it in vegetables, fruits and grain To
supply deficiencies—this is the only law of
"■ire."
The natural conclusion is that If Phosphate
of Potash is the needed mineral element In
brain and you use food which does not contain
it. you have brain fag because its daily loss is
not supplied.
On the contrary. If you eat food known to
be rich in this element, you place before the
life forces that which nature demands for
brain-building.
Mind does not work well on a brain that la
broken down by lack of nourishment.
A peaceful and evenly poised mind Is neces-
sary to good digestion
Worry, anxiety, fear, hate, etc., etc.. directly
Interfere with or stop the flow of Ptyalin, the
digestive juice of the mouth, and also inter-
rere with the flow of the digestive Juices of
stomach and pancreas.
Therefore, the mental state of the Individual
digesUon 10 d° (mor* than BU8Pected) with
Brain ig made of Phosphate of Potash aa
the principal Mineral Salt, added to albumen
and water.
Grape-NutB contain that element aa more
than one-half of all its mineral salts.
A healthy brain is important, if one would
do things" In this world.
A man who sneers at "Mind" sneers at the
best and least understood part of himself.
That part which some folks believe linka us
to the Infinite.
Mind asks for a healthy brain upon which
to act, and Nature has defined a way to make
a healthy brain and renew it day by day aa it
Is uBed up from work of the previous day.
Nature's way to rebuild is by the use of
food which supplies the things required. BraU
rebuilding material is certainly found la
Grape-Nuts
"There'® a Reason"
/
Postum Cereal Company, Ltd,
Battle Creek. Mich.
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Simons, R. T. The Medford Patriot. (Medford, Okla.), Vol. 18, No. 32, Ed. 1 Thursday, May 18, 1911, newspaper, May 18, 1911; Medford, Oklahoma. (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc186269/m1/2/: accessed March 29, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.