Hollis Post-Herald. (Hollis, Okla.), Vol. 18, No. 28, Ed. 1 Thursday, May 26, 1921 Page: 5 of 8
This newspaper is part of the collection entitled: Oklahoma Digital Newspaper Program and was provided to The Gateway to Oklahoma History by the Oklahoma Historical Society.
Extracted Text
The following text was automatically extracted from the image on this page using optical character recognition software:
m
Hollis Post - Herald
THE HOME OF
High Grade
Phone Us Your Next Order
WE GUARANTEE TO PLEASE YOU
The Hollis Post-Herald
TELEPHONE 24
*
I
*
<
D. C.
Office Perkins House
One Block North of Postoffice, Hollis, Oklahoma
CREAM SEPARATOR
PRICES SLASHED
For a short time only we are making some big reduc-
tions in the price of Cream Separators.
Now is the time to buy a Separator
Read what a saving it will mean
1 No. "A" Viking, 200 pound capacity, list price *rA A A
$65.00, Sale Price ^DU.UU
2 "No. "B" Viking, 420 pound capacity, list price, A A
$85.00, Sale Price $OD.UU
1 No. "C" Viking, 650 pound capacity, list price &QA AA
#120.00, Sale price *.
1 No. "3" Sharpies, 400 pound capacity, list price ftQA AA
$90.00, Sale Price «pOU.VU
5 No. 12 DeLaval, 500 pound capacity, list price, &QC A A
$110.00, Sale Price
These prices are for cash only
Hollis Produce Co.
Phone 132 Hollis, Oklahoma
NOTICE!
I am not an M. D., neither do I practice medicine. I am
a CHIROPRACTOR, which represents the crystalized knowl-
edge of all natural means of removing the cause of all ab-
normal conditions of the human body BY THE FORCE OF
THE HAND, not by mere rubbing, but by the SCIENTIFIC
adjustment of the spine and^ systematic . manipulation of • the
body so as to control the circulation and by the stimulation
or inhibition of tte nerves which control the action of
every organ of thabody.
Uncle Walfe; Uncle Walfo
■ *
DOMINANT WOMAN
m
GOOD OLD TIMES
ffpROF. WINDY SPIEL delivered a
IT fine lecture last evening," said
Mrs. Jamesworthy. "He held up to
scorn the pessimist who says the
world lun't getting better, and de-
scribed conditions as thoy were a hun-
dred years ago.
Then people trav-
eled on foot or on
horsebnck, and a
short journey was
a serious matter;
there were no tel-
ephones, no elec-
tric lights, and
none of the con-
veniences we are
used to."
'It is true there
were no alleged
conveniences 1 n
those days," re-
plied James-
worthy, "and for that reason I think i
the old times were better than the
present. I only wish the old condl- 1
tlons could be restored. A hundred
years ago the married man had no
reason to dread the poorhouse. It
was practically Impossible for women I
to be extravagant then. If they want-
ed to blow themselves they had to go
to town, and In order to get to town
they had to ride In old coaches which
weren't as comfortable as a modern
hayrack. '
'The woman of a hundred years ago
couldn't lean back In an easy chair
and order a hundred dollars' worth of
junk by phone. If she ordered by
letter, it took the letter three weeks
to get anywhere,and by the time the
goods arrived they were out of date,
and she had to send them back. It
would be a great blessing if things
were that way now.
'But the modern married woman
has the softest snap ever invented,
Mrs. Jamesworthy. If she happens to
be too lazy to put on her brass-mount-
ed harness and go downtown to do her
shopping, she has that great modern
convenience at her elbow. It isn't
necessary to make herself presentable
to do her shopping. She sits down
with an old wrapper on, and her top-
knot askew, and her mouth full of
hairpins, and calls up the butcher and
baker and candlestick maker, and or-
ders everything they have In their
Joints, and has It charged to her bus-
band.
"As your sway-backed professor
said, a short journey was a serious
business in the old days, and as a re-
sult people stayed home and attended
to their knitting. If a woman Jour-
neyed nine miles in one of the old-
time coaches she had a backache for
three weeks, and so the idea of going
away from home didn't fill her with
enthusiasm. But nowadays traveling
is a luxury. All a woman has to do
1b to hold up her husband for the fare,
and then the urbane railway people
do the rest, and make everything bo
comfortable for her that she hates the
Idea of ever returning home. And be-
cause of this luxury, women are for-
ever hunting up excuses for a trip
somewhere. Kersmlth told me the
other day that his wife traveled three
hundred miles and back to match a
ribbon, the local stores not having the
exact shade she wanted. Kersmlth is
Just about three cubits ahead of the
sheriff, and his wife knows it, but she
wouldn't let a small matter like that
Interfere with her trip.
"In the halcyon days people used to
tallow candles and were all the better
. for It The^e was no satisfaction in
! reading by a candle, so men didn't
1 blow in their substance for fool books
and magazines. The candles kicked
up such a smell that they were extin-
guished as early as possible, and so
no money was wasted. Now we have
the electric light, which is a great con-
venience. It is such a thundering con-
venience, Mrs. Jamesworthy, that it Is
greasing the road to the poorhouse for
innumerable heartsick husbands. The
average citizen finds it impossible to
! convince his wife and daughters and
other female relatives that the electric
Juice costs money, and so his home Is
Illuminated from basement to garret
every night Few women remember to
turn off the light after having It turn-
ed on. If I drop dead of heart failure
one of these days, it will be when look-
ing over the electric light bill. Id the
old days—"
"Oh, bother the old days, and the
young days, and the middle-aged
days!" cried Mrs. Jamesworthy.
That Depands.
"Too know, my dear fellow, we
really gain by our trials in life."
"That depends on the kind of law-
yer you employ."
He Started Early.
Mozart began composing at an ear-
lier age than anybody else on record.
At four he was exhibited as an infant
prodigy, and at five he composed con-
certos. When he was eleven he wtfcte
in opera bouffe.
Co-ed at the Start. |
Of the three oldest unlversltlemi
rest era Europe—Salerno, Bologna £d
Paris—two were open from the
tfTMIFRE'S much truth In the old
1- saying that a bachelor Is mere-
ly half a man," observed the professor.
"I suppose you are trying to take a
fall out of me because I don't get mar-
ried," said the low-browed man. "It
may be true that
a bachelor is" only
a half a man, but
when he accumu-
lates a wife, he's
usually only a
quarter of a man,
or maybe one-
eighth. The more
I see of married
men, the more
thankful I am
that I huve never
loomed up at the
altar with an or-
ange wreath on
my head.
"Old Doollttle has been married a
long time, and he's got so used to be-
ing bossed by his wife that he doesn't j
know what to do when she isn't I
around. If you offered to lend hlin $5 1
he'd say he'd have to consult Eliza
Jane about it. One time, when his !
wife was away, visiting, he ate about
a peck of green cucumbers, and the
colic shut him up like a folding bed.
It was the worst case I ever saw. I j
heard him yelling for the police, and j
when I rushed over there and saw him
on the floor, with his feet clasped
across the back of his neck, I phoned
for a doctor at once. We put him to
bed, and the agony that man endured
was sickening. And as he rolled
around there, expecting to go off the
books every minute, he kept saying,
'What will Eliza Jane say when she ,
hears I called in a doctor?' J
"After his wife came back, I was
over at their bouse one night, and she
roasted me to a crisp for sending for a
doctor. She said that if I had the first
Instincts of a gentleman I'd pay the
bill, for I wasn't authorized to call in
a sawbones, and she didn't want one in
the house. Doollttle sat there and
heard his wife roasting me until my
whiskers curled and, although he knew
the doctor saved his life, he never said
a word.
"After I left the house, he sneaked
out and overtook me, and told me he
was sorry for what had happened, but
experience had taught him that it's no
use to butt in when his wife has the
floor.
"Gooseworthy came over this morn-
ing while I was feeding the cows, and
told me a tale of woe. His wife has
about five hundred female^ relations,
aunts and stepsisters and cousins and
such people, and she keeps the house
full of them all the time. He has to
sleep on a sanitary couch In the hall,
while his own feather bed is occupied
by an aunt who weighs about 400
pounds. He has a comfortable rocking
chair he bought for his own private
use, and now he never gets a whack
at it His wife's step-sister, who
brought her tortoise-shell cat along, is
always using it. He Said he was get-
ting plumb disgusted with such a con-
dition of affairs, but he didn't know
what to do.
"I asked him why he didn't read the
authorized version of the riot act to his
wife, and tell her to ship all those rel-
ics out of the house. He seemed
shocked at the suggestion. 'You don't
know what you're talking about,' he
said. 'You've never been married.'
"The queer thing about it is that
Gooseworthy is a great stickler for his
rights when he's away from home. He's
as sassy as a bobcat, and will fight at
the drop of the hat if anybody tries to
impose dn him. He walks with his
head back and his chest out in front of
him, but as soon as he reaches his own
front gate he begins to look so blamed j
abject that the neighbors pity him. |
"Then, there's old Major Sendoff,
who distinguished himself on many a
crimson battlefield. He has courage
enough for three regiments. But he
married the Widow Bunkum a couple
of years ago and she makes him do
the* family washing, and hang the
clothes on the line, and I suppose he
does the ironing, too. I could tell you
of a hundred such cases—" i
"I suppose you could," sighed the
professor, "but I don't care for sens*-
t tonal fiction." j
THE HOLLIS CAFE
A Good Place to Eat
After being closed just four weeks to a day on account of
fire THE HOLLIS CAFE Is ag:iin open and ready for business.
We have a much larger and nicer place for your conven-
ience than formerly and we are anxious to have an opportunity
to sreve you.
We herewith extend heartiest thanks (or your past liberal
patronage and earnestly solicit all our old customers and new
ones to come this way when you want something nice to eat.
ihe Hollis Cafe
mmmssmma
$10,000.00 SAVED
To The Farmers of Harmon County Since
February 1st.
JUST ON HOGS
When I began buying hogs in Harmon County February
1st, local buyers were taking a margin of $2.00. I have never,
bought on a higher margin than $1.25, «nd most of the time at
$1.00—and sometimes less.
During that time I have shipped 40 carloads of hogs
from the county, which represents a saving to the farmers
of fully $10,000.00, ^ ; ^
Don't Sell Before You See Me.
I Am Still in The Market.
W. M. KIRBY
Hollis Headquarters Cicero Smi^h Lumber Company
Phone FX-5, out of Hollis; 15 on 34 out of dould!
V
■
m
Look Spick
and Span
■ ;' • r 'I
EVEN a well worn suit will present that nifty appear-
ance when we are through with it. Our system of cleaning,
pressing and repairing leaves nothing further to be done. , ,
We give special attention to the delicate fabrics of ladies* >
garments. No injury whatever.
Neither the work nor the price can be discounted by an^ 1
reliable house in this community.
H
Men's Suits Cleaned and Pressed $1.00
Cash Brothers, Tailors
Phone 152
Hollis, Oklahoma.
RunUl
The Russian empire, prior to the
world war, comprised 8,784*86 square
miles. OyclopedWts divide this ter-
ritory, ooe-Axth of the world, into
four parts. Russls In 'Europe (In-
cluding Poland and Finland), the Cau-
casus, Siberia, Russian Central Asia.
Russia In Europe has an area o£ v
911,632 square miles.
Franch Presidents.
Of the presidents .of France, M.
Polncare was only the fifth to stay the
full term. Thiers, the first held of-
fice for only three years, as did Mac-
Mahon. Faure died at'fhe end of his
fourth year, and CSMmler Perler r^
signed after one ysat.
ri
Hla Statu*.
•What do you know ab«m the high
cost of living r lip.i
"Nothing. I'm merely eMsting."—
Louisville Courier-Journal.
STEP RIGHT UP
Gentlemen
Try the Latest Smokes
TO a smoker there is nothing so soothing and satisfying as a
good cigar, or a pipe of good tobacco.
We have a new and carefully selected stock of cigars and
tobacco that should satisfy the taste of any smoker, no mat
ter how particular he may be.
Try our different brands and blends. Somewhere among them
you will find that prime favorite you are looking for.
Bottled Goods, Fountain Drinks, Ice Cream, fresh
Fruit and Chewing Gum.
Special Tab'e for Ladies
Claud Johnson's Confectionery
Ne^t to Prpck & Edmiaston's Hollis, Oklahoma.
Upcoming Pages
Here’s what’s next.
Search Inside
This issue can be searched. Note: Results may vary based on the legibility of text within the document.
Tools / Downloads
Get a copy of this page or view the extracted text.
Citing and Sharing
Basic information for referencing this web page. We also provide extended guidance on usage rights, references, copying or embedding.
Reference the current page of this Newspaper.
White, J. Warren. Hollis Post-Herald. (Hollis, Okla.), Vol. 18, No. 28, Ed. 1 Thursday, May 26, 1921, newspaper, May 26, 1921; Hollis, Oklahoma. (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc185430/m1/5/: accessed April 25, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.