CLAREMORE. 0 X L A, PROGRESS
I
Hffl THEWS AWLL
BWEHAR.I
Minnie, spring-house girl st Hope sana-
torium. tells the story. It opens with tlM
arrival of Miss Patty Jennings, who ta re-
ported to be engaged to marry a prince,
and the death of the old doctor who own*
the sanatorium. The estate Is left to a
scapegrace grandson, Dicky Carter, who
must appear on a certain date and run
< he sanatorium successfully for two
months or forfeit the Inheritance. A case
'<t mumps delayrf Dick's arrival. Mr. Tho-
burn la hovering about In hopes of as-
suring the place for a summer hotel,
fierce, a college man In hard luck, la pre-
vailed upon by Van Alatyne, Dick's broth-
 r-ln-law, to Impersonate the missing heir
and take charge of the sanatorium until
4 'artcr arrluas Dlclfc Who kaa >lAih4
with Patty's youngert sister. Dorothy, ar-
rives, and the couple go Into hiding in
the old shelter house. Fearing to face
Dorothy's father, who Is at the sanator-
ium, Dick arranges with Pierce to con-
tinue In the management of the property.
Julia Summers, leading lady of Pierce's
stranded theatrical company, arrive*.
She 1s suing Dicky for breach of promise.
The prince, under the Incognito of Oskar
von inwald, arrives at the sanatorium.
Barnes, character man with Pierce's show
and a graduate M. D.. takes the place of
sanatorium physician. Pierce, who Is
very much Interested In Patty, shows a
strong dislike for Inwald. Dlok becomes
peevish over the Independent manner in
which Plerco Is running the sanatorium.
Miss Summers discovers that the Dick
< 'arter she Is seeking Is the owner of the
atanatorlum. Dick, In attempting to steal
Ills love letters from Miss Rummers,
tireaks Into the wrong room and geta the
wrong letters. Miss Summers' dog has
<-onvulslons from overeating. The patients
believe It has been poisoned by the doped
spring water. In a panic they go to
Pierce and start a row. He tells them
the truth about themselves and they
make preparations to leave. A snow
blockade compels the patients to return.
Pierce lays out a course of rational and
«lmj>le living and all agree to give It a
^ MARY ROBERTS
AUTHOR, OF—
r&/cie> CIRCJJLAJ^ STAIRjCA^B , T5/Z& MM
T^TLOWER. TEN, WHEN A MA7M I*lATiRIES
ILLUSTRATED ED^AR BEUT SMITH *s   NMfcLn
CHAPTER XII.
They took to it like ducks to water.
Not, of course, that they didn't kick
about making their own beds and hav-
ing military discipline generally. They
complained a lot. but when after three
<lays went by with the railroad running
as mflch on schedule as It ever does,
they were all still there, and Mr. Jen-
nings had limped out and spent a half-
hour at the wood pile with his gouty
foot on a cushion, I saw it vu a suc-
cess.
I ought to have been glad. I was,
although when Mrs. Dicky found they
were all staying, and that she might
have to live in the shelter-house the
Teat of the winter, there was an awful
scene. I was glad, too, every time I
could see Mr. Thoburn's gloomy face,
or bear the things he said when his
name went up for the military walk.
The strange thing of all was the way
they began to look up to Mr. Pierce.
He was very strict; if he made a rule,
1t was obey or leave. (As they knew
after Mr. Moody refused to take the
military walk, and «as presented with
his bill and a railroad schpdnle within
an hour. He had to take the military
walk with Doctor Barnes that after-
noon alone.) They had to respect a
mah who could do all the things in the
gymnasium that they couldn't, and
come in from a ten or flfteen-mlle
tramp through the snow and take
-cold plunge and a swim to rest him-
self.
It wm on Monday that we really got
things started, and on Monday after-
noon Miss Bummers came out to the
shelter-house in a towering rage.
"Where's Mr. Pierce?" she de-
manded.
"I guess you can see be isn't here," 1
said.
"Just wait until I see him!" she an-
nounced. "Do you know that I am down
on the blackboard for the military
walk today?—I!"
"Why not?"
She turned and glared ab me. "Why
not?" she repeated. "Why, the au-
dacity of the wretch! He brings de
-out into the country in winter to play
in hie atrocious play, strands me, and
then tells me to walk twenty miles
a day and smile over it!" She came
•over to me and shook my arm. "Not
only that," she eald, "but he has cut
out my cigarettes and put Arabella
on dog biscuit—Arabella, who can
hardly eat a chicken wing."
"Well, there's something to be
thankful for," I said. "He didn't put
you on dog biscuit."
She laughed then, with one of her
quick changes of humor.
"The worst of It to," she said. In
confidential whisper. "Ill do It I feel
It. I guess if the truth were known
I'm some older than he is, but—I'm
afraid of him, Minnie. Little Judy te
ready to crawl around and speak'for
a cracker or a kind word. Oh, I'm not
in love with him, but he's got the
courage to say what he means and do
what he says."
8he went to the door and looked
back smiling.
"I'm off for the wood-pile," she
called back. "And I've promised to
chop two inches off my heels."
. As I say, they took to it like ducks
water—except two of them, von In-
wald and Thoburn. Mr. von Inwald
stayed on, I hardly know why, but I
guess it was because Mr. Jennings still
hadn't done anything final about set-
tlements, and with the newspapers
marrying him every day It wasn't vei-y
comfortable. Next to him, Mr. Tho-
burn was the unhappiest mortal I have
ever seen.
Doctor Barnes came out that after-
noon and watched me while I closed
the windows. He had a package In his
band. He sat am the railing of the
spring and looked at me.
'You're not warmly enough dressed
for this kind of thing," lie remarked.
"Where's that gray rabbits' f«r. or
whatever It Is?"
"If you mean "toy chinchillas," I said,
"they're In their box.
as delicate as babies and sot a ear bo
plentiful I'm warm enough."
"Tow look It." He reached over sad
caught one of my hands. '"Look at
that! Blue nails! It's a^out four de-
grees above sero here, and while the
rest are wrafeed in fun and stsam-
♦r nigs, with hot water "bottles at their
you two dollars you haven't got on
any—er—winter flannels."
"I never bet," I retorted, and went
on folding up the steamer rugs.
"I'd like to help," he said, "but
you're so darned capable, Miss Min-
nie—"
"You might see If you can get the
slot-machine empty," I said. "It's full
of water. It wouldn't work an4 Mr.
Moody thought It was frozen. He's
been carrying out boiling water all
afternoon. If It stays In there and
freezes the thing will explode."
He wasn't listening. He'd been fus*
lng with bis package and now Ift
opened it and handed it to me, in the
paper.
"It's a sweater," he said, not looking
at me. "I bought it for myself and It
was too small— Confound it, Minnie,
I* wish I could lie! I bought them for
you! There's the whole businesa—
sweater, cap, leggings and mittens. Go
on! Throw them at me!"
But I didn't. I looked at them, all
white and soft, and it came over me
suddenly how kind people had been
lately, and how much I'd been getting
—the old doctor's waistcoat buttons
and Miss Pat's furs, and now this! I
Just burled my face in them and cried.
Doctor Barnes stood by and said
nothing. Some men wouldn't have un-
derstood, but he did. After a minute
or so he came over and pulled the
sweater out from the bundle.
"I'm glad you like 'em,'> he said,
"but as I bought them at Hubbard's,
in Finleyvllle, and as the old liar guar-
anteed they wouldn't shrink, we'd bet-
ter not cry on 'em."
Well, I put them on and I was
warmer and happier than I had been
for some time. But that night when
I went out to the Bhelter-house with
the supper basket I found both the
honeymooners in a wild state of excite-
ment. They said that about five
o'clock Thoburn had gone out to the
shelter-houee and walked all around it.
Finally he had stopped at one of the
windows of the other room, had
worked at it with his penknife and got
it open, and crawled through. They
sat paralyzed with fright, and heard
him moving around the other room,
and he even tried their door. But it
had been locked.
By Friday of that week you would
hardly have known any of them. The
fat ones were thinner and the thin
ones fatter, and Miss Julia Summers
could put her whole hand inside her
belt.
And they were pleasant. They'd sit
down to a supper of ham and eggs
and apple sauce, and yell for more.
They fussed some still about sleep-
ing with the windows open, especially
the bald-headed men.
Mr. von Inwald was still there, and
not troubling himself to be agreeable
to any but the Jennings family. He
and Mf. Pierce carefully avoided each
other, but I knew well enough that only
policy kqpt them apart. Both of them,
you see, were working for something.
Miss Cobb came to the sprlnghouse
early Friday morning, and from the
way she came in and shut the door I
knew she bad something on her mind.
She walked over to where I was pol-
ishing the brass railing around the
spring—it had been the habit of years,
and not easy to break—and stood look-
ing at me and breathing hard.
"Minnie," she exclaimed, "I have
found the thief!"
"Lord have mercy!" I said, and
dropped the brass polish.
"I have found the thief!" she repeat-
ed firmly. "Minnie, our sins always
find us out."
"I guess they do," I said shakily,
and sat down on the steps to the
spring. "Oh, MIse Cobb, if only he
would use a little bit of sense!"
"He?" she said. "He nothing! It's
that Summers woman I'm talking
about. Minnie. I knew that woman
IL'
with the letters?" I asked, with my
teeth fairly hitting together. Mlse
Cobb pushed her forefinger into my
shoulder.
"To blackmail me," she said, in a
tragic voice, "or perhaps to publish.
I've often thought of that myself—
they're so beautiful. Letters from a
life insurance agent to his lady-love-
interesting, you know, and alliterative.
As for that woman—I"
"What woman!" said Miss Sum-
mers' voice from behind us. We
Jumped and turned. "I always save
myself trouble, so if by any chance
you are discussing me—"
"As It happens," Miss Cobb said,
glancing at her, "I was discussing
you."
"Fine!" Bald Miss Julia. "I love to
talk about myself."
"I doubt If it's an edifying subject,"
Miss Cobb snapped.
Miss Julia looked at her and smiled.
"Perhaps not," sh£ said, "but inter-
esting. Don't put yourself out to be
friendly to me. Miss Cobb, if you don't
feel like it."
"Are you going to return tny let
ters?" Miss Cobb demanded.
"Your letters?"
"My letters—that'you took out of my
room!"
"Look here," Mies Julia said, still
in a good humor, "don't you suppose
I've got letters of my own, without
bothering with another woman'B?"
"Perhaps," Miss Cobb replied In tri-
umph, "perhaps you will say that you
don't know anything of my—of my
black woolen protectors?"
"Never heard of them!" said Miss
Summers. "What are they?" And
then she caught my eye, and I guess
I looked stricken. "Oh!" she eald.
"MIbb Cobb was robbed the other
night," I explained, as quietly as I
could. "Somebody went into her room
and took a bundle of letters."
"Letters!" MIsb Summers straight-
ened and looked at me.
"And my woolen tights," said MIbs
Cobb Indignantly. "And I'll tell you
this, Miss Summers, your dog got
in my room that night, and while I
have no suspicions, the chambermaid
found my—er—missing garment this
morning in your closet!"
"I don't believe," Miss Julia said,
looking hard at me, "that Arabella
would steftl anything bo—er—gro-
tesque! Do you mean to say," Bhe
added slowly, "that nothing was taken
from that room but the—lingerie and
a bundle of letters?"
"Exactly," said Miss Cobb, "and I'd
thank you for the letters."
"The letters!" Miss Julia retorted.
"I've never been in your room. I
haven't got the letters. I've never
seen them." Then a light dawned in
her face. I—oh, It's the funniest
ever!"
And with that she threw her head
back and laughed until the tears rolled
down her cheeks and she held her
side.
"Screaming!" she gasped. "It's
screaming! But, oh, Minnie, to have
seen your face!"
Miss Cobb swept to the door and
turned in a fury.
"1 do not think it is funny," she
stormed, "and I shall report to Mr.
Carter at once what I have discov-
ered."
She banged out, and Miss Julia put
her head on a card table and writhed
with Joy. "To have seen your face,
Minnie!" she panted, wiping her eyes.
"To have thought you had Dick Car-
ter's letters, that I Jieep rolled In as-
bestos. and then to have opened them
and found they were to MIsb Cobb!"
"Be as happy as you like," I snapped,
but you are barking up the wrong
tree. I don't know anything about
any letters and as far as that goes,
do you think I've lived here fourteen
years to get into the wrong room at
night? If I'd wanted to get into your
room, I'd have found your room, not
Miss Cobb's."
She sat up and pulled her hat
straight, looking me right in the eye.
"If you'll recall." she said, "I came
into the sprlnghouse, and Arabella
pulled that—garment of Miss Cobb's
off a table. It was early—nobody was
out yet. You were alone, Minnie, or
no," she said suddenly, "you were not
alone. Minnie, who was in the pan-
try?"
"What has that to do with It?" I
managed, with my feet as cold as
stone.
She got up and buttoned her sweat-
selected their words from'one of Hor-
ace Fletcher's books, and as Mr. Pierce
wasn't either over or underweight,
they asked him to be referee.
Oh,.they were crazy about him by
that time. It was "Mr. Carter" here
and "dear Mr. Carter" there, with the
women knitting him neckties and the
men coming up to be bullied and ask-
ing for more. And he kept the upper
hand, too, once he got it.
But if Mr. Pierce was making a hit
with the guests, he wasn't so popular
with the Van Alstynes or the Carters.
The night the cigar stand was closed
Mr. Sam came to me and leaned over
the counter.
"Put the key In a drawer," he said.
"I can slip down here after the lights
are out and get a smoke."
"Can't do it, Mr. Van Alstyne," I
■aid. "Got positive orders."
"That doesn't Include me." He was
■till perfectly good-humored.
"Sorry." I said. "Have to have a
written order from Mr. Pierce."
He put a silver dollar on the desk
between us and looked at me over it.
"Will that open the case?" be asked.
But I shook my head.
"Well, I'll be hanged! What the
devil sort of order did he give ypu?'
"He Bald," I repeated, "that I'd be
coaxed and probably bribed to open
"I Never Bet," I Retorted,
wasn't what she ought to be the min
ute I set eyes on her."
"The Summers woman!" I repeated.
Miss Cobb leaned over the railing
and shook a finger in my face.
"The Summers woman," she said.
"One of the chambermaids found my
—my protectors hanging in the crea-
ture's closet!"
1 couldn't speak. There had been
so much happening that I'd clean for-
gotten Miss Cobb and ber woolen
tights. And now to have them come
back like this and hang themselves
around my neck, so to apeak—it was
too much.
"Per—perhaps they're hers," 1 said
weakly after a minute.
"Stuff and nonsense!" declared Miss
Cobb. "Don't yon think I know my
otfn, with Lb C. In white cotton on the
band, and my own darning In the knee
where I slipped on the ice? And more
than that, Minnie, where those tights
are, my letters are!"
I gtaaced at the pantry, where ber
letters ware hidden oa the upper shell
The door was closed.
"Don't trouble to lie," she said. "1
can see through a stone wall as well
as most people. Whoever got those
letters thought they were stealing
mine, and there are only two people
who would try to steal my letters;
one is Dick Carter, and the other Is
his brother-in-law. it wasn't Sam in
the pantry—he came in Just after with
his little snip of a wife."
"Well?" I managed.
But she was smiling again, not so
pleasantly.
"I might have known it!" she said.
"What a fool I've been. Minnie, and
how clever you are under that red
thatch of yours! Dicky cannot appear
as long as I am here, and Pierce takes
his place, and I help to keep the secret
and to play the game! Woll, I can ap-
preciate a Joke on myself as well as
most people, but—Minnie, Minnie,
think of that guilty wretch of a Dicky
Carter shaking in the pantry!"
"I don't know what you are talking
abont," I said, but she only winked and
went to the door.
"Don't take It too mnch to heart."
she advised. ' Too much loyalty is a
vice, not a virtue. And another piece
of advice. Minnie—when I find Dicky
Carter, stand from under; something
will fall."
They had charades during the rtht
how that afternoon, the overweights
headed by the bishop, against the «fc-
derweifhta beaded by Mr. Moody. Tbay
"If the Sight of Married Happiness
Upsets You, Go Away."
the cigar case, and that you'd prob-
ably be the first one to do It, but 1
was to stick firm; you've been smok-
ing too much, and your nerves are go-
ing."
"Insolent young puppy!" he ex-
claimed angrily, and stamped away.
So that I was not surprised when
on that night, Friday, I was told to
be at the shelter-house at ten o'clock
for a protest meeting. Mrs. Sam told
me.
"Something has to be done," she
said. "I don't intend to stand much
more. Nobody has the right to say
when I shall eat or what. If I want to
eat fried shoe leather, that's my af-
fair."
We met at ten o'clock at the shelter-
house. everybody having gone to bed
—Miss Patty, the Van Alstynes and
myself. The Dlckys were on good
terms again, for a wonder, and when
we went In they were in front of the
Are, she on a box and he at her feet,
with his head burled in her lap. He
didn't even look up when we entered.
"They're here, Dicky," she said.
"All right!" he answered in a smoth-
ered voice. "How many of 'em?'
'Four," she said, and kissed the tip
of his ear.
For goodness sake, Dick!" Mrs.
Sam snapped in a disgusted tone,
'stop that spooning and get us some-
thing tb sit on."
"Help yourself." he replied, still
from his wife's lap, "and don't be
Jealous, sis. If the sight of married
happiness upsets you, go away. Go
away, anyhow."
' Mr. Sam came over and Jerked him
into a sitting position. "Either you'll
sit up and take part In this discus-
sion," he said angrily, "or you'll go
out In the snow until It's over."
Mr. Dick leaned over and kissed his
wife's hand.
"A cruel fate is separating us." he
explained, "but try to endure it until
I return. I'll be on the other side of
the fireplace."
Miss Patty came to the fire and
stood warming her hands. I saw her
sister watching ber.
"What's wrong with you. Pat?" she
asked. "Oskar not behaving?"
"I'm tired to death, but I don't sleep,"
Miss Patty said. "I—I don't know
why."
"1 do," her sister said. "If you
weren't so haughty, Pat. and would
Just own up that you're sick of your
bargain—•'
"Dolly!" Miss Patty got red and
then white.
"Oh, all right," Mrs. Dicky said, and
shrvgged her shoulders. "Only, I hate
to see you make an Idiot of yourself,
when I'm so happy."
Mr. Dick made a move at that to go
across the fireplace to her, but Mr.
Sam pushed him back where be was.
"You stay right there," be said.
"Here's Pierce now."
He came in smiling, and as he stood
Inside the door, brushing the snow off.
it was queer to see how his eyes went
around the circle until he'd found Miss
Patty and stopped at her.
Nobody answered his smile, and he
came over to the fire beside Miss
Patty.
"Great night!" he said, looking down
at ber. "There's something tnvigorat-
ing In Just breathing that wind."
"Do you think so?" Mrs. Sam said
disagreeably. "Of course, ws haven't
all got your shoulders."
"That's so," he answered, turning to
ber. "I said you women should not
earn* so far. We ooald have mat In
"You forget one thing," Mr. Dick put
in disagreeably, "and that is that this
meeting concerns me, and 1 cannot
very well go to your sitting room."
"Fact," said Mr. Pierce, "I'd forgot-
ten about you for the moment."
"You generally do," Mr. Dick retort-
ed. "If you want the truth, Pierce. I'm
about tired of your high-handed meth-
ods."
Mr. Pierce set his jaw and looked
down at him.
"Why? I've saved the place, haven't
I? Why, look here," he said, and pulled
out a couple of letters, "these are the
first fruits of those that weep—in
other words, per aspera ad astra! Tf^o
new guests coming the last of the
week—want to be put In training!"
Well, that was an argument nobody
could find fault with, but their griev-
ance was about themselves and they
couldn't forgive him. They tunned on
him in the most heartless way—even
Miss Patty—and demanded that he
give them special privileges—break-
fast when they wanted it, and Mr.
Sam the key to the bar. And he stood
firm, as he had that day in the lobby,
and let the storm beat around him,
looking mostly at MIsb Patty. It was
more than I could bear.
"Shame on all of you!" I said. "He's
done what he promised he'd do, and
more. If he did what he ought, he'd
leave this minute, and let you find out
for yourself what it Is to drive thirty-
odd different stomachs and the same
number of bad dispositions in one di-
rection."
"You, are perfectly right, Minnie."
Miss Patty said. "We're beastly, all
of us, and I'm sorry." She went over
and held out her hand to him. "You've
done the impoasible;" she told him.
He beamed.
"Your approval means more than
anything," he said, holding her band.
Mrs. Dick sat up and opened her eyes
wide.
"Speaking of Oskar," she began, and
then stopped, staring past her sister,
toward the door.
We all turned, and there, blinking
In the light, was Miss Summers.
CHAPTER XIII.
"Weil!" she said, and stood staring.
Then she smiled—I guess our faces
were funny.
"May I come in?" Bhe asked,- and
without waiting she came In and
closed the door. "You do look cozy!"
she said, 'and shook herself free of
snow. 1
Mr. Dick had turned white. He got
up with his eyes on her, and twice he
opened his mouth and couldn't speak.
He hacked, still watching her, to his
wife, and stood in front of her, as if to
protect her.
Mr. Sam got his voice first.
"B—bad night for a walk," be said.
"Frightful!" she safd. "I've been
■buried to my knees. May I sit down?"
To those of us who knew, her easy
manner had something horrible In it.
"Sorry there are no chairs, Julia,"
Mr. Pierce said. "Sit on the cot, won't
you?"
"Who is It?" Mrs. Dick asked from,
as you may Bay, her eclipse. She and
Miss Summers were the only calm
ones In the room.
"I—I don't know," Mr. Dick stam-
mered, but the next moment Miss
Julia, from the cot, looked across at
him and grinned.
"Well, Dicky!" she said. "Who'd
have thought it!"
"You said you didn't know her!" bis
wife said from behind him.
"Who'd have thought wha—what?"
he asked with bravado.
"All this!" Miss Julia waved her
hand around the room, with its bare
walls, and blankets over the windows
to keep the light in and the cold out,
and the circle of us sitting around on
sand boxes from the links and lawn
rollers. "To find you here, all snug in
your own home, with your household
gods and a wife." Nobody could think
of anything to say. "That Is," she wsnt
on, "I believe there is a wife. Good
heaveni, Dicky, it Isn't Minnie?'
He stepped aside at that, disclosing
Mrs. Dick on ber box, with her child-
ish eyes wide open.
"There—there Is a wife. Julia," ha
said. "This Is her—she."
Well, she'd come out to make ml*
chlef-rit was written a-ll over hei
when she same In the door, but when
Mr. Dick presented bis wife, fright
ened as be was and still proud of her,
and Mrs. Dick smiled In her pretty
way, Miss Summers Just walked
across and looked down at her with a
queer look on her face. I shut my
eyes and waited for the crash, but
nothing came, and when I opened
them again there were the two women
holding hands and MisB Summers smil-
ing a sort of crooked grin at Mr. Dick.
"I ought to be very angry with your
husband," she said. "I—well, I nevei
expected him to marry, without my
being among those present. But since
he has done it—! Dick, you wretched
boy, you took advantage of my being
laid up with the mumps!"
"Mumps!" Mrs. Dick said. "Why,
he has just had them himself!" She
looked around the circle suspiciously,
and every one of us looked as guilty
as If he had been caught with the
mumps concealed around him some-
where.
"I didn't have real mumps," Mr.
Dick explained. "It was only—er—a
swelling."
"You said it was mumps, and even
now you hate pickles!"
Mr. Pierce had edged over to Mlas
Summers and patted her shoulder.
"Be a good sport. Julia," he whis-
pered.
She threw off his hand.
"I'm being an idiot!" she said an-
grily. "Dick's an ass, and he's treated
me like a villain, but look at that
baby! It will be twenty years before
she has to worry about her weight."
"I think we'd better be going." Miss
Patty got up and gathered up her
cloak. But if she meant to break up
the party Miss Summers was not
ready.
"If you don't mind," she said, "I'll
stay. I'm frozen, and I've got to go
home and sleep with my window up.
You're lucky," she went on to the
Dickys. "I dare say the air In hers
would scare us under a microscope,
but at least It is warm."
The Van Alstynes made a move to
go, but Mr. Dicky frantically gestured
to them not to leave him alone, and
Mrs. Sam sat down again sulkily. Mr.
Pierce picked up his cap.
"I'll take you back,"fhe said to Miss
Patty, and his face was fairly glowing.
But Miss Patty slipped her arm
through mine.
"Come, Minnie, Mr. Pierce is going
to take us," she Bald.
"I'd—I'd rather go alone," I Bald.
"Nonsense."
"I'm not ready. I've got to gather
up these dishes," I objected. Out of
the corner of my eye I could see the
glow dying out of Mr. Pierce's face.
But Miss Patty took my arm and led
me to the door.
"Let them gather up their own dish-
es," she said. ''Dolly, you ought to be
ashamed to let Minnie slave for you
the way she does. Good night, every-
body."
(TO BE CONTINUED.)
Not Much Light.
Secretary Bryan, at a lucheon In
Washington, Bald of a man who,
through modeBty, had declined an im«
portant and useful office: "So he wants
to hide his light under a bushel, eh J
'Chen perhaps the country 1b Just as
well off without his services." Th 
secretary smiled and added: "When
a man talks of hiding his light under a
bushel, I usually think that a thlmbla
would answer the purpose juBt as
well."
"Pape's Diapepsin" fixes tick,
sour, gassy stomaohs in
five minutes.
Time It! In five minutes all stomach
distress will go. No indigestion, heart*
burn, sourness or belching of gas, add.
or eructations of undigested food, no
dizziness, bloating, or foul breath.
Pape's Diapepsin Is noted for Its
•peed In regulating upset stomachs.
It la the surest, quickest and most on-
tain Indigestion remedy in the whole
world, and besides it Is harmless.
Please for your sake, g*t a large
fifty-cent case of Pape'a Diapepsin
from any store and put your stomach
right Don't keep on being mlserabls
—life is too short—you are not hare
long, so make your stay agreeable.
Eat what you like and digest It; sn-
Joy it, without dread of rebellion la
the stomach.
Pape's Diapepsin belongs In your
home anyway. Should one of the fam-
ily eat something which don't agree
with them, or in case of an attack of
Indigestion, dyspepsia, gastritis or
stomach derangement at daytime or
during the night, It Is handy to give
the quickest relief known. Adv.
Some women have a lot of cheek,
but not enough to grow a beard.
Be thrifty on little things like bluing.
Don't accept water for bluing. Ask lot Bail
Cross Ball Blue. Adv.
An exchange says that new novels
are flooding the land. This, of course,
does not Include the dry kind.
Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets fint put up
40 years ago. They regulate and invigorate,
stomach, liver and bowels. Sugar-coatee
tiny granules. Adv.
Sacrificed.
Ethel—So Kate Is finally married.
How did she come to take the plunge*
Marie—She didn't. She was shoved
off by three younger sisters.
Playing Safe.
"Senator Wombat is bitterly disap-
pointed in the wireless system."
"How so?"
"He thought you could send a wire-
less message without anything being
put on paper."
Jarred the Old Boy.
"Gladys said something to me the
other night that smacked of innuen-
do." remarked Ferdy to Algy.
"What was It, dear boy?"
"Advised me not to stand under the
mistletoe. Said one of the berriea
might fall and fracture my skull. I
call that unkind; eh, what?"
Mistaken Sneer.
"It is cheaper, not dearer, to con-
sult a specialist," said Dr. Simon
Flexner, head of the Rockefeller In-
stitute, at a medical dinner.
"It is very stupid and erroneous to
hold the opinions of Blank, to whom
a friend said:
" 'Was the doctor who examined
your lungs a specialist?'
""No. I don't think so,' Blank
sneered. 'He couldn't find anything
the matter with 'em.'"
Deathless Fame.
"I would rather have written the
'Elegy in a Country Churchward' than
be as rich as Rockefeller."
"Why?"
"How can you ask? The author of
that poem won deathless fame."
"Did he? Who was the chap?"
"Let's see. His name has escaped
me; but It certainly Is great stuff,
all right."
Saving the Furniture.
"I don't know what we're going to
do," said the mother, "since you have
given Willie that knife with a saw
and a gimlet and a file and a lot of
other things attached to It."
"Well." answered the father,
thoughtfully, "maybe we'd better
shut up the house for a couple of
months and move Into a furnished
apartment."
ANOTHER COFFEE WRECK
What'a the Use When There's an Easy
Way Outf
FACT STRANGER THAN FICTION
After This, Novelists Need Not Be
Accused of Unduly Stretching
Their Imaginstion.
Novelists accused of overwroking
the long arm of coincidence might
keep for 'reference the following
strange piece of fact. The bark Nomla
was posted as missing on December
17 last. She sailed from Newcastle
with a cargo of coal for Chile on July
10, and sank In midocean when six
days ouv. At least, so it appears from
the only scrap of evidence available—
a small, ragged bit of paper torn from
a German log book, on which was
written, "Monday, 16, 7, 1912—Nomla
is sinking fast by hurricane in 42 S.
160 E. Gott save us all and every-
body." This message, inclosed In
bottle, was picked up recently on the
beach between Mangonul Bluff and
Scott8 Point. New Zealand. But was
the manuscript genuine? Here the ex-
tensive limb above mentioned got In
its good work. The message was given
to German Consul Carl Seegner of
Auckland, who had known a Captain
Nimme. formerly of the bark Germa-
The Nomia's skipper was also
named Nimme. Searching among his
papers, Consul Seegner unearthed a
letter written by the Gerinanla's
Nimme, and on comparing the letter
with the message from the aea he
found the writings Identical. Here waa
evidence enosgh that the Oermanla's
Nimme waa also the Nomia's Nimme,
and that the ■ssasge wasn't a takm.
Seeing that Consul Seegner was the
only man in New Zealand—perhaps in
Australlasla—likely to be able to settle
the question, the arm which piloted
that wandering bottle right to his door
had, as before mentioned, a useful
band at the end of it.
Virtue in the Lawn Mower.
So many little Jests are cast at the
lawn mower and the man who propels
it that our eyes may become blinded
to its very real virtues. These vir-
tues do not Ue so much in the primly
clipped lawns, which, of course, are
very nice and attractive, but In the ef-
fect a lawn mower has on its conduc-
tor, the man who runs It A good lawn
mower and a generous gift of blue-
grass will do more for a man than a
trip to the hllla or the sea. They will
harden his muscles, enlarge his lungs,
reduce his fat and mellow his temper!
Blessed is the lawn mower — Sloug
City Journal.
New German Industry.
Germany baa now 2« establishments
engaged In the production of dry yeast.
It keeps indefinitely and Is a nutritious
food not only for cattle, but also for
human beings, after the removal of
the unpleasantly bitter hop resin that
it contains. The Industry has devel-
oped within the last three years, here- j boiled.
Along with the coffee habit has
grown the prevalent "American Dis-
ease"—nervous prostration.
The following letter shows the way;
out of the trouble:
"Five years ago I was a great cof-
fee drinker and from its use I b*
came so nervous I could scarcely
I sleep at all nights. My condition grew
j worse and worse until finally the phy-
sician I consulted declared my trou-
bles were due to coffee.
"But being so wedded to the bev-
erage I did not see how I could do
without it, especially at breakfast,
as that meal seemed incomplete with-
out coffee.
"On a visit, my friends deprived me
of coffee to prove that It was harm-
ful. At the end of about eight days
I was less nervous, but the craving
for coffee was intense, so I went back
to the old habit as soon as I got home
and the old sleepless nights came
near making a wreck of me.
"I heard of Postum and decided ta
try it I did not like It at first, be-
cause, as I afterwards discovered, II
was not made properly. I found, how*
ever, that when made after directions
on the package, it waa delicious.
"It had a soothing effect on my
nervej, and none of the bad effects
that coffee had, so I bade farewell to
coffee and have used only Postnm
since. The most wonderful account ad
the benefit to be derived from
Postum could not exceed my own
perience."
Name gives by Postum Co., Battle
Creek, Mich. Write for a copy of "Tb* .
Road to WellviUe."
Postnm now comes In two forms;
Regular Postum—must be waB
tofore the thousands of tons of yeast
produced annually by the German
breweries being almost without value,
except for the small amount used by
the breweries themselves to hasten i
the fermentation of the wort. !
Instant Postum—Is a soluble  OV>>
oer. A teaspoonfnl dissolves quickly
In a cap of hot water and, with eras
and sugar, makes a delicious bersr-
age Instantly. Grocers sell bothktsda,
"There's a Kansas" tor Posts*.