wmssem
—f
GEORGE WASHINGTON
LETTER HELD 115
Signature of George Washington
Makes It Invaluable to
Its Owner.
A LETTER signed by George Wash-
ington is an heirloom in the fam-
ily of William H. Paret, a real estate
man of Kansas City. Mr. Paret re-
ceived the letter from his father, the
late William Hale Paret. Episcopal
 
Fac Simile of Signature of George
Washington.
bishop of Maryland, who in turn had
it from his father, a resident of New
York City.
The letter follows:
•Headquarters, 3d December, 1782.—
Dear Sir: Your favors of the 21st
September and 24th and 26th October
came regularly to hand, as they con-
tained only intelligence of the move-
ments of the enemy's fleet, and re-
quired no particular answer, I did not
think it worth while to give the Chain
of Expresses t he trouble of riding the
whole way back to you. Your letter
of 26th September, directed by favor
• of Count de Hremble, never reached
my hand until the 4th November, and
then it came from the eastward. How
this delay happened I cannot say. But
1 beg you to believe that had the
letter come directly to me, I should
not have failed to give you the infor-
mation you requested.
"You must have seen the resolve of
congress by which Captain Asgill was
released. All things considered, I
question whether the determination of
congress upon the proceedings of Llp-
pincott's court martial would have
been different from what it has been,
had not. the courts of France Inter-
ceded warmly In Captain Asgill's
favor, but after a request made by the
prime minister in which he expresses
the wishes of their majesties that
Captain Asgill's life might be saved
there was scarcely no possibility of
refusing, more especially as Sir Guy
Carleton promised to prosecute still
further the persons who might be
found guilty of Captain Huddy's mur-
der. I have lately written to him and
begged him to inform me what steps
had been taken.
"The report that General Carleton
had pledged his word that during his
command no small parties should
come within the American lines or
to any part of our shores is not lit-
erally true. But I have reason to be-
lieve that he has'taken measures to
discountenance and discourage all acta
of riolence on the part of the refugees.
Indeed we had an instance of it a
few days paat. Two of Sheldon's
Dragoons were taken off their post by
a party of refugees from Monlsanla.
aad carried off to Kings Bridges. They
were Immediately returned with their
horses, arms and accoutrements to
Colonel Sheldon, intimating that as
they had been captured without proper
authority it was not thought Justifiable
lu detain them. Upon the whole, air.
I cannot help hoping that the savage
kind of desultory war which we have
long experienced Is at an end.
"Your favor of the 22d ult. only
reached me last night owing to the
delay or expresses. I am obliged by
your accuracy In stating the number
of the fleet which Billed on that day.
I had before heard of that event but
not in so particular and antisfactory
any uncommon arrival at New York
either of ships of war or transports
with troops, or should an embarka-
tion of any consequence take place,
you will very much oblige me by send-
ing a particular express. You will
now be pleased to furnish me with an
account of all the expenses which
have been incurred by you In this
last business and it shall be repaid
with thanks by, dear sir, your mych
obliged and obedient servant,
'G. WASHINGTON.
"GENERAL KORMAN."
OFFICER OF THREE CHURCHES
Edifices Still Standing Proud of Wash-
ington's Connection With Their
History.
Three churches In Virginia hold
proud claim to close connection with
George Washington, in each of which
he held the position of vestryman. One
of these Is Christ church, In Alexan-
dria; another. Falls church, in the
town of the same name (about six
miles southwest of Washington, in
Fairfax county); the third is old Po-
hick church in Mount Vernon parish,
so called for Pohick creek, a small
stream flowing close by, The last
named was the "home" church of
Washington, and that to which he was
most closely allied, having served as
warden and vestryman in it for over
twenty years, and contributing gen
erously to its support.
Of Christ church he was a frequent
attendant, as business often called him
to Alexandria (which place was his
CLAREMORE. OKL A.,'PROGRESS  
WASHINGTON AS
PRACTICAL JOKtR
Christ Church, Alexandria.
post office, voting and market place)
for considerable period*; and especial-
ly was this true after the Revolution,
when Pohlck church (which suffered
severely from the misfortunes of war)
was frequently closed. With flails
church he had n somewhat slighter
connection snd for a shorter period,
but contributed liberally to build it
and acted as one of Its vestrymen.
There will bo bo occasion for you
•ay longer keeping a lookout upon the
eon*, er a com—Icatton with Morris
I Ihsrs In Man M
Effect It Hsd on Her.
The handsomest American uniform
is unquestionably that of the First
city troop of Philadelphia. It is re-
lated of a certain Trooper Blddle, who
is particularly handsome, that as he
clanked down Walnut street one day
In his long and lustrous boots, white
doeskin breeches and (Uttering helm,
n pretty young Irish parlor maid van
heard to any to the be tier: Share.
•«' r« tike te pnwn kla now!'
OSTERITY sees a stiff, formal pic-
{■rR ture of Washington standing In the
M ■ bow of a boat crossing the Delaware
a in Id floating blocks of ice on that
I memorable Christmas night, to
fight the battle which turned thp
I tide of the revolution in the right
1 direction. Hut no painter could
delineate the heroism of the actual
^ scene. His men were ragged—half
naked. liesides the running ice in the river, there
was a blinding blizzard, and it was so bitter cold
that the chief loss on the American Bide was of
the men who. though Inured to pioneer hardships,
froze to death that awful night.
Did General Washington stand in his boat in
that dangerous current during a driving storm
and stare pompously at the opposite 6hore? Not
he. Instead of that, he "sat tight" and cajoled
the men, using every device that might make them
forget their terrible situation; even telling them
a facetious story, which, coming from him, star-
tled them, set their blood tingling and made them
oblivious to the cold and dangers around them.
That was the grandest deed In the military strat-
agem which made Frederick the Great of Prussia,
and, indeed, the whole world, wonder at the
genius of Washington.
Nearly every one knows the outside of the
story of the siege of Boston by the new com-
mander-ln-chlef, who had come to the continental
congress as a wealthy Virginia colonel, and his
nondescript crowd of raw recruits, wholly unused
not only to military discipline, but even to mili-
tary forms. But few know of the transcendent
bluff General Washington had to put up when he
discovered that there were but a few rounds of
gunpowder in the possession of the whole Ameri-
can army, while the British were amply supplied
with ammunition and might sally forth any hour
against the American "irregulars."
"Some one had blundered." Many a com-
mander would have shown up the improvident
officers who had that matter in charge and pee-
vishly thrown up the command as ridiculously Im-
possible. But General Washington did not tell his
most trusted officers of the excruciating dilemma
he found himself in. He knew the awful secret
would spread if known to a few, and the great
cause of Justice might be lost. He began quietly
to scour the country fdr gunpowder. He soon
found that the nearest place at which any quan-
tity could be had was in a magazine on the island
of Bermuda. To get that required a secret expe-
dition, much hazard and many weeks; but Wash-
ington's nerve was equal to the fearful 6traln.
During that long, tense interval the American
troops were working away upon the fortifications,
preparing for a grand attack. Meanwhile the
young commander-in-chief was entertaining
hospitably at his headquarters, the Cralge man-
sion, now best known as "Longfellow's Home," in
Cambridge. As a pleasant diversion, "Lady"
Washington, then one of the wealthiest women in
America, came to visit the general, and all the
countryside was agog over her coach-and-four with
six black postilions in white and scarlet livery.
Even the British, cooped up In Boston, were im-
pressed by the resources and apparent confidence
of the American generalissimo.
While one expedition was gone to Bermuda
for powder, General Knox, with a small force,
succeeded In bringing a number of cannon'sev-
eral hundred miles on ox sleds in midwinter
from Fort Ticonderoga. In those "times that
tried men's souls" it was Washington's Iron
nerve, supported by his broad sense of humor,
sometimes scintillating with a radiance worthy
of a Franklin or a Lincoln, which saved the day.
This was only one of many occasion* on which
Washington had to fight out the revolution alone.
A friend of Lincoln's once said of him, "The
president's laugh Is his life-preserver." This was
truer of Washington than any one seems to have
realized In a day when strict gravity without
levity, was expected of public characters. To
laugh or to see the humorous side of an incident
was considered the Bign of a frivolous disposi-
tion.
Washington's early biographers were solemn
men. To have told in their books how much their
hero laughed would have been. In their opinion,
wantonly exposing his weakness to public gaze.
Men like "Parson" WeemB, renegade preacher and
tramp fiddler though he was, had been brought
up to think that laughing was "worse than wick-
ed—it was vulgar!' In Btralning to make their
hero appear to have been a demigod, those pedan-
tic biographers related not what George Wash-
ington really did,'but what they Imagined such a
boy or man ought to have done under given con-
ditions.
Washington would have laughed heartily at
Weems' hatchet-and-cherry-tree story If he had
ever heard it—which he never did. for it was not
invented till a later edition of the erring rector's
juvenile history, six , years after Washington's
death. Yet the real hero of the cherry-tree fic-
tion would have found It the occasion of gravity
as well as mirth. In the Btilted story of "Little
George and His Pa," Weems was only carrying
out the idea of his time; to tell not what the small
boy actually did, but what the consummate little
prig he conceived little George Washington to
have been would have done If he had cut down his
father's favorite cherry tree.
If little George Washington had been the insuf-
ferable little prig described by Mr. Weems, his
half-brothers would not have loved him better
than their own brothers, or their own children,
for that matter. His early life was fuller of ex-
citing experiences than any fiction. Yet the life
of young Washington is yet to be told as an ad
venture story. Even In his quaint little diaries
he early discloses a lively sense of humor—sav-
age humor sometimes, but broad and boyish. He
showed this by telling only the jokes against him-
self. When he was a lad of Bixteen he led a sur-
veying party to. lay out the lands of his old friend.
Lord Fairfax. In the wilderness of the Shenan-
doah. Here Is one of his own experiences as a
"tenderfoot," recorded on Tuesday, March 15
1747-8:
"We got our Suppers & was lighted Into a
Room, and I. not being so good a Woodsman as
ye rest of my company, stripped myself very or-
derly, & went into ye Bed, aa they called it.
when to my surprise I found It to be nothing but
a little straw—matted together without sheets or
anything else but one threadbare blanket, with
double Its weight of Vermin, such as Lice, Fleas.
Ac.
"I was glad to get up fas soon aa ye light was
carried from ua) 1 put on my Clothes and lay as
■
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ail
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my Companions. Had we not been very tired, I
am sure we should not have slept much that
night."
The next night he related that they "had a good
dinner & a'good Feather Bed, w'hich was a very
agreeable regale."
In describing an Indian war dance, he went on,
"Some liquor elevating their Spirits put them in
ye Humor of Dauncing- Ye best Dauncer jumped
about ye ring in a most comicle Manner!"
Others of that wilderness gang told a story of
the boy Burveyor which he was too modest to
relate about himself—how young George turned
the tables on Big Bear, the wily chief, w ho was in
the habit of holding out his sinewy hand with
seeming friendly intent and saying, Indian fash-
ion, "How?" Woe to the unsuspecting white man
whose hand Big Bear seized in his terrible grasp,
while he laughed in savage glee at the pale-
face's anguished contortions.
Young Washington had been warned in time-
He had a huge, strong hand of his own and knew
a trick or two that he thought he would like te
try on that Indian's wiry claw if he could just get
the right hold. His chance came soon enough for
Big Bear, who presented a seemingly amicable
paw with an innocent "How?"
The young surveyor seized the Indian's hand
with such friendly enthsiasm that Big Dear did an
agonizing little dance "in a very comical manner."
while the spectators, both white and red, stood by
and shouted with glee to see the cruel savage
caught In hlB own trap. Never again did Big
l>ar show such solicitude for the health of-George
Washington.
At the age of twenty George was the chosen
envoy to carry a "notice to quit" from the gov-
ernor of Virginia to the French commander en-
camped in the Ohio region. He wr0te in his jour-
nal of that expedition concerning the supper given
him by the French and Indians at the fort at Ven-
ango:
"The wine, as they dosed themselves pretty
plentifully with it, soon banished the restraint
which at first appeared in the conversation, and
gave a license to their tongues to reveal their
sentiments more freely. They told me that it waR
their absolute design to take possession of the
Ohio—and by G  they would do it!"
At the French fort, while awaiting the com-
mandant's reply, the young envoy from Virginia
played a diplomatic game for the friendship of the
Indians. When the French plied the Indians with
liquor, young Washington promised them guns;
and the game or diplomacy, seasoned with savage
sauce, jwent on between the grizzled chevalier, old
in the arta'of war and duplicity, and the young
Virginia major, who possessed common sense and
humor withal.
After the awful slaughter of Fort Duquesne.
Into which he had rushed from a bed of fever, in
a vain attempt to save Braddock and his army.
Major Washington was left in command of the
scattered forces. At this time he wrote to bis
brother "Jack" a letter, which at least suggests
Mark Twain's attitude toward the "grossly exag-
gerated" story of his own death:
"Forth Cumberland, l« July, 1765.
"Dear Brother: As I have heard, since my ar-
rival at this place, • circumstantial account of my
death and dying speech, I take this early oppor-
tunity of contradicting the first, and of aasuring
you that I have not aa yet composed the latter.
But by the all-powerful flispensations of Provi-
dence I have been protected beyond all human
probability and expectation, for I had four bullets
through my coat and two horses shot under me,
yet escaped unhurt, altho' death was leveling my
companions on every side of me!
"We have been most scandalously beaten by a
trifling body of men, but fatigue and want of
time will prevent me from giving you the details,
until I have the happiness of seeing you at Mount
Vernon. GEORGE."
War is not supposed to develop the latent sense
of humor in a commanding general, but Washing-
ton's wit never forsook him. His'successful strata-
gems were little more than practical jokes raised
to the highest power. They always "worked."
and then he waited, laughing in his military
sleeve, while his fat-witted enemies tried to play
his own tricks back on him. Even in his retreats
and escapes from the British—as at Ixing Island
and before Princeton—he laughed and kicked up
nimble heels in the face of the sursulng enemy.
It was while his headquarters were In Jersey
that Washington perpetrated the great Jersey
joke still perpetuated by so many millions. He
told an English traveler named Weld that he
"was never so much annoyed by mosquitoes, for
they used to bite through the thickest boot."
When the war was over the victorious com-
mander entertained the vanquished general. Lord
Cornwallis, at dinner, with some of the leaders
among the French allies. Washington presided.
In calling for toasts. Cornwallis, with an oblivi-
ousness of the changed conditions that was trulx
English, proposed "The King of England" aB a
subject for high praise.
The other guests were in consternation. Would
the presiding genius, on whoBe very head King
George had Bet a price, resent this as an insult?
"The King of England," announced the toast-
master general, raising his glass. The guests
gazed at him, transfixed with astonishment.
"Lon« may he." continued Washington. "—Long
may he stay there!"
He pronounced the last two words in a stage
whisper, with a shrug and a rueful grimace which
made all the company, including Lorn Cornwallis,
who now saw his mistake, applaud with hearty
laughter; and Washington's ready humor had
prevented a disagreeable complication.
After the Revolution, Washington was permit*
ted the long-coveted happiness of living peacefully
under his "own vine and figtree," as he called it
hundreds of times in as many letters. It is a great
mistake to think that his life at Mount Vernon
was either stale or stilted. Nelly Custla, hi* adopt-
ed daughter, is authority for Ihe statement that
retired general was always full of gayety and
good aplrlts, surrounding himself with young peo-
ple's company, enpoylng their lively conversation,
"particularly the Jokes." as he once aald. Nelly
went so far as to claim that she found no one
quite so willing to keep pace with her own ex-
travagant spirits aa her dear, dellghtrul old «fen-
ter father.
How Washington did enjoy his home when, he
waa Anally permitted to stay there! Mount Ver-
non w as a Mecca for pilgrims from nil over the
world. He once wrote to Tobias Lear, "Unions
some one pops in nnezpectedy Mrs. Washington
and myself will do what I believe hna not within
the last 20 years been done by us—that Is, to alt
down to dinner by ourselves!"
IB CHILD
FEB
K
Look, Mother! If tongue it
coated, give "California
Syrup of Figs."
Children love this "fruit laxative."
and nothing else cleanses, the tender
^stomach, liver and bowels so nicely.
A child simply will not stop playing
to empty the bowels, and the result is
they become tightly clogged with
waste, liver gets sluggish, stomach
sours, then your little one becomes
eross, half-sick, feverish, don't eat.
sleep or act naturally, breath li bad,
system full of cold, has sore throat,
stomach-ache or diarrhoea. Listen,
Mother! See If tongue Is coated, then
give a teaspoonful of "California
Syrup of Figs," and in a few hours all
the constipated waste, sour bile and
undigested food passe* out of the sys-
tem, and you have a well child again.
Millions of mothers give "California
Syrug of Figs" because it Is perfectly
harmless; children love It, and It nev-
er falls to act on the stomach, liver
and bowels.
Ask at the store for a 50-cent bottle
of "California Syrup of Figs," which
has full directions for babies, children
of all ages and for grown-ups plainly
printed on the bottle. Adv.
Weakness.
The sick Seaman Evans ruled the
destiny of the Scott Antarctic expedi-
tion. The weakest link in the chain
gives the value to the chain. Civilisa-
tion follows the path of least resist-
ance. The drone or black sheep of
the family centers the attention of
the group on him, impairs its eco-
nomic efficiency; In effect dominates
the household. The enduring charac-
ter of a society is determined not by
its cultured group, but by its "sub-
merged tenth."—or five-tenths.
Plaster.
"They say absinthe is the favorite
French drink."
"Plaster of Paris, eh?"
Only One "BROMO QUININE"
That In L4XAT1VS BROMO QUIN1N& Look for
tbe signature of n. W GROVH. Carat aOold In Oo 
Day, Cures Grip in Two Day*. 26c.
Better love a short- woman th^o
never love a tall. ,
Tone Up Your
Weak Liver
The best, safest and most gentto
remedy for constipation and sluggish
liver is the celebrated HOT SPRINGS
LIVER BUTTONS.
You'll be pleased and satisfied with
the result of the first one you take.
They drive the poisonous waste and gas
from the bowels, and purify the blood.
The v are simply the best ever for head-
ache,dizziness, biliousness, nervousness,
lack x f appetite and that no ambition
feeling.
Women 1 take little chocolate coatcd
HOT SPRINGS LIVER BUTTONS, ta
rid the skin ofpimples, blotches and sal-
lowness. All Druggists, 85c, and money
baclt, if not satisfied. Sample free from.
Hot Springs Chem. Co., Hot Springs, Ark.
  
.^^Magnificent
ymsmCropSmi
raKfisasssl
i AlUit*. have produced won- v
J derfal yields of Wkw, O.*. \
I Berk* and Flea. Wheat graded j
r/' "f m Contract to No. 1 Hard.
' weighed heavy and yielded freaa 30 )
,  • 4  bushab per acre; 22 buaheia waa ,
/ about the total average. Mlsad Farm- \|
K i s may be conaidered folly as profit-4
A able an induatryaa grain raising. The a
J^anasrtsssjcsl
Keaa-afi
t ma^tiwrjS^IdtoauS. 9
\ cellent. For the homeeteeder, the man ]
I who wishes to farm exteneively. or the]
J investor, Canada offers the bigteat op-1
V portunity of any place on the continent. j
J Apply for descriptive literature aad
| reduced railway rates to
Superintendent of
U Immigration.
[ Ottawa. Canada, or In
«. A. COOK
129 W. eth Street
Kansas City, Mo.
Canadian
■ Government Agent!
FREE TO ALL SUFFERERS
If you Uel 'our of win' down* *oot slum*
actper from kidmey, bladder, vxrtous dimaru.
CHROMIC WKAKWEM, VLCRM. ftKIN UDRIOII, FILR w
writ# for free cloth •ovmv medical rook or
?££ mmFlm*4 DfMUd by
csanulatcd
itching lids.
Oklahoma Directory
CONCRETE 8IL08
USE 15,000,000 COBS IN PIPES
Peculiar Missouri Industry Output for
ths Year 1912 Waa Half Mil-
lion Dollars.
  t
Millions of corncobs discarded by-
farmers were in 1912 turned Into an
available and useful commodity worth
more than half a million dollars by
six factories of the state, according
to adrancs Information of tha 1912
Red Book of ths bnrenu of labor atn-
The industry la one pecnltar
to Missouri. The commodity Is the
ordinary corncob pipe. The si* facto-
ries produced 28.171.872 cob pipes In
1912. The factories are located three
In Washington, Franklin county, anil
one each In Boonville, Union and
Owensville.
Shipments were made to Canada,
Europe, Asia. South America, Africa.
Australia and New Zealand, not In-
cluding the vast quantity rtf' Into ev-
ery state of the anion. Not less than
lf.0*0,QM corncobs wan
Mt*t of miTMn
Ing two bowls to each cob and figuring
for those which were waated In the
Process of manufacture.
Artificial Wood.
French experimenters nt work in the
city of Lyona have j„,t produced aa
artificial wood, according to the Amer-
ican consul «t that place. The new
Product has been found nJter years of
study and practical experiments, the
■Mat meant of which have given eat
into n solid mnterlal having the re-
actance of oak. The atrnw, after ho-
Ing cut Into email pleene. la reduced
to a paste by boiling. Cumin chemi-
cals are then ndded. When the pnato
has been reduced to a homogeneous
mass It Is put Into unease, and planks,
beams, laths and moldings of all alnen
am readily made. This new material
can he aawed like natural wood. Aa n
faal It emits n bright tan and
■nwkn It la further aald to be adant-
ahie te the aannafsetnre «
«r
"tS&rlMHSIUR'ttS'
JOHNSON I HURLEY