The Ralston Free Press. (Ralston, Okla.), Vol. 7, No. 24, Ed. 1 Thursday, November 29, 1906 Page: 3 of 4
This newspaper is part of the collection entitled: Oklahoma Digital Newspaper Program and was provided to The Gateway to Oklahoma History by the Oklahoma Historical Society.
Extracted Text
The following text was automatically extracted from the image on this page using optical character recognition software:
■
—, ^
■ " ' 1 11,1 ■ i ■ MJl I J mm
Vol. 7.
Ralston. Pawnee County. Oklahoma, Thursday, November 29, 1906.
VA
v
Two good stories are told by
the Columbia Herald: When
Speaker Cannon spoke at Sedalia
he referred to "the well-known
Scripture story of the man who
hid his tslent in a napkin." Of
course it was not a talent but a
pound that was hidden in the
napkin. "Uncle Joe" had mix-
ed the parable of the pound with
the parable of the talents. A
Boonvill politician who heard
Speaker Cannon's address was
reminded of a mistake which
was made by a Missouri lawyer
which he tells upon himself.
Colonel John Cosgrove, after-
wards congressman from the
Boonville district, was especially
distinguished as an advocate be-
fore s jury. Defending a client
accused of some crime Colonel
Coegrove, in an eloquent climax
shouted; "What does the state's
attorney expect? Does he expect
my client, like Daniel to
command the sun to stand still
and have it obey?"
Judge James W. Draffen,
, lawyer for the opposition, inter-
tupted.
"May it please your honer,"
he said, sddressing Judge James
E. Hazel, who was on the bench,
"I object to Colonel CosgroVe,*
misquoting Scripture."
"I beg pardon," blandly re-
plied Colonel Cosgrove, "I for-
got for the moment that it
not Daniel but Solomon who com-
manded the sun to stand still.
And that statement went un-
challenged.
* * Ji
WsMed My (hi Best
The yellow and red
which adorned a big board fence
in Mscon, Georgia, announced
that the circus was soon to pitch
tents in that city. Beneath the
counterfeit presentment of a
man on a bicycle turning somer-
saults in the air, says the New
York Times, a groop of darkies
were gasing open-mouthed at
this announcement in letters of
green: "Wait! Wait! Wait! The
Greatest Show on Earth, Sept 1
"Ah ain't a-goin' to dat show,"
remarked one multatto to his
companion. "Whah foh you
ain't goin'?" she replied, in a
disappointed tone. "Ah's gwan
to wait foh de othah show wat's
bettor," he said. "They ain't
no bettah show." said
"Yes, they is," wss his rejoind-
er. It says so on dat bill. Can't
you read? 'Greatest show on
ea'th 'ceptone."
JS jt J*
Aai Sack if hm.
Mr. Bok, of the Ladies' Home
Journal, was automobiling in the
Bronx recently, and, an accident
having put his machine out of
commission, stopped for the
night st a small tavern which is
locally reputed to have once been
one of General Washington's
multituninous headquarters, says
the New York Globe.
His host looked the new-comer
over carefully and came to the
cunclusion that his patron was a
personage of importance. The
inn did not posses a register, so
ths wild-eyed proprietor politely
inquired the stranger's name.
"My nam'e Bok," said the
job. The eaptian, being in
need of a man , hired him, and
the vessle put to sea.
Put wss put on the mid-night
wstch, and the captain told him
if he should see snything shesd
to call out A half hour later
the following conversation took
Pat—Ahoy there sap'n.
Captain-Well, Pat, what is it?
Pat-1 see som'thin'ahead.
Captain—What do you see?
Put—I don't know, sor, but I
suspect's it's a dhrug store: I
see a red and grane light
* ji ji
CesMs't Is letter
Pasted on the window of
book publisher's store was the
sign, "Porter wanted," and in
the window itself on a pils of
books the placard, "Dickens
Works All This Week for $4,'
states the Woman's Home
Companion.
The able-looking Irshman read
first the sign then the placard.
He scratched his head and blurt-
ed out "Dickens take the job!
Dickens can wur-rk ahl the week
fer foor dollars if he wants to,
but I'm a union man. I'll not
tutchit Ye'd better kapeDick-
ness.
Desire Fer Feel
b hsperlssl
e b Keeeenry la
ttfMtWtstwelsi
A Tiaaty CncMm.
Irshman, in order
* An
celebrate the advent of a new
era, went out on a lark. He
didn't get home till three o'clock
in the morning, and was barely
in the house before a nurse rush-
ed up and, uncovering a bundle
of soft goods showed him triplets.
The Irshman looked up at the
clock which said three, then at
the three of a kind in the nurse's
arms, and said: "Oi'm not
surperstitious, but thank Hivens
that Oi didn't come home at
twelve."
+ m *
"Oh, yes. Delighted to meet
you," chirped the host rubbing
his hands. "I've often enjoyed
Pat Goran, while looking for
work along the docks asked the
captian of an outgoing vessel for
A small boy who hsd
cautioned not to go in swimming
too early in the season, returned
one evening looking very guilty.
His mamma upon noticing that
he had his shirt on wrong-side-
out asked the cause of this
dissarangement The little fel-
low hesitated a moment, and then
said: Well, mamma, I did that
crawling through the crack of
the fence.
TtolaMjtf lam.
Small Boy (watching
take medicine)-Pa, did
have dyspepsia, like what you
have got?
Father-Good Heavens, child,
what makss you think anything
ailed Moses?
Small Boy-My Sunday school
teacher said the Lord gave him
two tablets,
s + *
father
there must oe a
*.r
assimilated. Dr. J. P.Pawlow*.
Thsf* li M other such salt sure
r« --JSfc. ^.g.m
, Mir meals, and It la "a
were that ths moderate use or wood
p%ixs?%pssrsui: tsu as
G3J, w,1«" «">«• SSi
JUTwrr-jr- ssu.
&.TSa tzu
from the cleaaect kitchen caabe
T/ILK MCtl MY
TALK EVERT MT
Words spoken over the Long Distance
Telephone are
Words worth while.
VALUE
HIGH
RATES
LOW
Pioneer Telephone and Telegraph Company
B. NAUMAN.
DENTIST.
Graduate of Chicago College of Dental
Surgery. Bight Years Experience. >
Dr. L. O. Barber,
Physican and Surgeon
Sick call, promptly attended.
OBoo at CHr Pharmacy. Ralaton.O-1
Q. A. Stafford. M. O.
Physican and Surgeon.
Ofleo over Pint National Bank
Oklahoma.
1—
Dr.
8teinberger.
Physician nad Sargcon.
00c* el the Ocm Pharmncy.
R. L. CARUTHBRH
OOI
Will pnetioat* nil
LLXCTIONH promptly nttendod to
Office iiLcvick
Ym Cai Easily Operate this Type*
writer Ysanelf.
B asytbleg by
•d thai takes
blm time t ft.
ureeut-that may
hate bin I.
doubt — tbat he
oan'tnasily rend.
Aaddoa'tflll eat local >i>iis or card
mesioe-or make oat aoeoante or hotel me-
nas In year ova heaCwrltleg. It looks bad.
Soots on yoar staadlag. mahee people
Ink yoaeaa't afford a eteeographar. nad
somen aee aablgaoai
Toaeaa write eat
soasts,er s hotel Man-or do nay hlad of
writing yon aosd. on any kind, else or
thlekaass of paper, nad spate nay way yoa
Ml OO
t msrohaat. the hotel psoptie tot o, i
■sb who doss bis owe writlag. Writ,
nor for oar hoohlot mm the dmpU
feats ree of the ouvbb. n
Ouvrr Typswum Co.
-saaxrusu.
HEAL1
RALSTON. OKLA
dently he remarked:
"Father, who made you?
"God made me," came the
'Tom I am very glad to see
you here," said ths pastor as he
shook hands, warmly; with a
young man who was among the
corverts of the evening. "Now
that your heart is Ailed with
brotherly love, I supposs you
will stoy fighting."
raplM th, eoa-
"only I wtah N
that pirhwdtd BUI
Muggins'for* I gotthfibrothcriy
feelin' so strong."
***
A small boy sat on
aiding a
He looked intently st his tether
then at his own reflection.
'Who made mc, fahter?
'God made you, too, my son
the father replied.
Well, he's doing lots better
work now, isn't he, father?"
* M M
TbeHul Test
An Irishman, reduced by sick-
ness apparently stopped breath-
ing for a short time. When
awake, his sttendant asked him,
"An' how'U we know, Jemmy,
when you're dead? You're after
wakin' up ivory time."
"Bring me a glass of grog, an
say to me, 'Here's till ye,
Jemmy,'an,'if I don't riss up
and drink, then bury me."
Report of the eondltloa of the
•amk OF COMMKSCC
at Balaton. Oklahoma, at the a lose of eusl-
eese, nov. so, iw.
Eissrelfi'""
Oeshead sight1s<
Total..
Capital Cteek fald In
ladlvldual Depositsl«%tk>
Time Osrtldeates of Deposit
nuM
tSSjH
SRS
rreet-Atte't
J. O.
OLIVER
You ess writs aay of thsss Ulags yoar-
Mlf If yoa do aot happen to have a stenog
ir. for yoa "an saellr loan, with a
praotloe, to wriU Just ss rapidly, aad
as psrfsetly, as sa sspert operator oa the
OLIVES. Soeaaes the OLIVSS In the
tlmplllsd typswriter. And fo%
every word yoa write. Ahoet M per esat
store durable thaa aay other typewriter,
because It has aboet M per sent Isss wsai-
lag polsta thaa smst other typewriters.
at
•tag-.toohalo-
Thaa maehlass whlsh ess sot he adjas*-'
od to aay special spaoe-wtth which It
Is possible to write ai
pollolee, or odd-slssd
yoa hay sspoaslvo special atteehmonte ra-
qulrlag sxports to operate.
Too caa adjuet the OUVBB to any
roneonabls spew yoa caa write oa any
n<aeoBsbl« slse aad th'cksem of popor,
richt oat to the very edge, wlteoot the aid
of aay espeaslve sttaahmeat as special
skill, aad yoar work wUl bs aoat appear-
lap. legible sad clear.
Por theOLlVBS Is the typewriter tor the
lawyer, the lasaraaco agaat.
No Doctor
SFsEJgS
WSHI
THEOTORD'3
BUOt-
DUKI
Lax-els 5 fJSSA2L
B. A. Bullock, President
W.E.
Ed. T. Kknnidy, Csshier.
, Vioe Pres.
First National Bank
op ralston, oklahoma.
CAPITAL 8T0CK. $25,000.
—STOCKHOLDERS
E. A. Bullock, W. E. Berry, Chas. Pssche, J. M.
Wm. King, RayaMnd H. Hoss, J. E. Berry,
Ed. T. Kennedy.
Does a deneral Banking Bui]
Upcoming Pages
Here’s what’s next.
Search Inside
This issue can be searched. Note: Results may vary based on the legibility of text within the document.
Tools / Downloads
Get a copy of this page or view the extracted text.
Citing and Sharing
Basic information for referencing this web page. We also provide extended guidance on usage rights, references, copying or embedding.
Reference the current page of this Newspaper.
Crum, David W. The Ralston Free Press. (Ralston, Okla.), Vol. 7, No. 24, Ed. 1 Thursday, November 29, 1906, newspaper, November 29, 1906; Ralston, Oklahoma. (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc173390/m1/3/: accessed April 24, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.