You Alls Doins. (Lexington, Okla.), Vol. 2, No. 42, Ed. 1 Thursday, December 13, 1900 Page: 2 of 8
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OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
YOU ALLS DOINS
BY OS. M. STKVfCNi.
lexington,
OKLAHOMA
The latest triumph In the Industrial
world is the stone lathe. It is eighty-
six feet long and weighs many tons.
It Is better to Buffer many Injuries
than to do one. There is small re-
venge In words; but words may be
greatly revenged.
The little Grand Duche. j Olga of
Russia Is the richest baby In the
world. The week she was born
£ 1,000,000 was invested for her.
Lord Rosebery has found the time
to dash off a history of the life of
Napoleon. Rosebery evidently aspires
to be known as the Halstead of Lng-
land.
ft
An Italian of Philadelphia has been
using a government mail bag as a
clothesbag. He is now resting in jail,
while the secret service officers look-
up the bag's history.
The sober judgment of a humorist
may sometimes be more impressive
than the philosophy of an ethical
teacher, as when Mark Twain remarks
that "Honor is a harder master than
the law. It cannot compromise for
less than one hundred cent3 on tl e
dollar, and its debts never outlaw."
Until a few days ago Drown county,
Indiana, had neither railway, tele-
graph nor telephone facilities any-
where within its borders. It is still
minus the two first mentioned neces-
sities of modern life, but a telephone
line has invaded Nashville, coming
from Columbus, in an adjoining
county.
Could there be a finer tribute to
the American soldier than the follow-
ing words of an English observer in
China? He says that they "have dis-
tinguished themselves not only in the
face of the enemy, but equally so
against the temptations that exist in
a city like Pekin under existing con-
ditions."
To tli® Firing T.lno.
Our blood may be Yankee, or Irish, 01
Dutch—
May have warmed to the blue, or th"
gray—just as much;
But shoulder to shoulder we now keep
in touch;
And we'll never go^back on our
army.
Let fools prate of lusting for empire
and power,
Let them sneer at our soldiers while
storm clouds yet lower.
Our faith and our trust, in each war's
darkest hour.
They ree never betrayed by our
army.
Mid the mad mob's wild strife; in the
dark forest trail;
On the slopes of El Caney, 'neatii
Spain's leaden hail;
The sons of America never did fail
Their dear land which adores its
brave army.
Dear boys at the front, where'er the
flag lead,
The prayers of a nation shall be
your "God speed."
You are blood of our blood, and in
word or in deed
We will never go back on our
army.
by any means wall made, as I hope to
show in a later article. We have no
lyddite shells, chiefly because we did
not trust them. We could not obtain
from the government a gun with
which the experiment with lyddite,
with the quite probable result of de-
stroying the gun, and without trying
we did not care to send lyddite to the
front, with the chance of its bursting
a gun at the critical moment of a fight.
The faults which, in my opinion, are
possessed by the English lyddite shells
1 prefer to state when the war is over.
Our artillery is more effective than
the English because the English sol-
dier is much more of a "fighting man"
than the Boer. The ia.ter runs no
more of a risk than he is obliged to.
The newest thing in the slot machine
line is a machine that charges the
storage batteries of automobiles. By
connecting the automobile to the ma-
chine and dropping a quarter in th®
slot the batteries may be charged in
a few minutes. One of the machines
is on exhibition at the automobile
show being held in New York city.
Whaleback steamers are now being
successfully used on the Mississippi
river. The boats are arranged with
water tight compartments so that by
pumping water into or out of either
end, the craft can be trimmed as de-
sired. One boat was run full on a sand
bar to illustrate the working of the
scheme, and by the use of her pumps
and compartments got off in fifteen
minutes.
The speed trial of the "Wisconsin"
suggests that if international races
between battle-ships were as readily
arranged as those events in which
yachts take part, the United States
would win a good many prizes. Yet
it is safe to assert that if they ever
meet a foreign squadron in serious
encounter, these splendid new ships
of ours will not undertake to prove
their superiority by running away.
llrltlsh nntl Boer Artillery.
A Hollander in the Free State Artil-
lery writes in the "Algemeen Handels-
blad," of Amsterdam, an article in
which he compares the artillery work
of Boer and Briton during the war.
The good shooting of the artillery (he
says) depends first and foremost on
the excellent eyesight of the Boers,
who can distinguish friend from foe
at a great distance, and who very sel-
dom make the mistake of firing on
positions where there is no enemy, a
mistake often made by the English.
Then most Afrikanders are excellent
judges of distance and are extremely
quick at finding the correct range.
They have a marvelous eye for the lie
of the land," and can, so to speak,
"feel" the contour of the ground hid-
den from them by an intervening hill,
and so follow the movements of an
enemy even when out of sight. In n
eral artillery practice is easier here
than in Europe. The ground is drier
and dustier. Thus at Wepener I was
was firing at a trench which lay on a
slope, on to which I looked from a
higher level. I could see every bullet
from my shrapnel, which exploded
high in the air, strike the ground just
in front of and behind the parapet of
the trench, and after two shots could
be absolutely certain that I had the
range correctly. We have had as
abundant a supply of artillery as of
small-arm ammunition, and ammuni-
tion for the captured English guns
was very qhiekly turned out from the
Transvaal. Thanks to this abundant
A Militia rig.
In an old Kentucky history is found
a peculiar incident related in connec-
tion with the invasion of Canada by
the Kentucky troops in 1812. A com-
pany of volunteers, destined for Shel-
by's army, assembled at Harrodsburg,
and formed a nucleus around which
the military recruits of the country
gathered, on the march to the Ohio.
The facts as given below are vouched
for on high authority. On the outskirts
of Harrodsburg the company saw two
pigs fighting, and delayed the march
to watch the combat. When the march
recommenced it was observed that the
victorious pig was following the com-
pany, and when the men encamped at
night the animal lay down near at
hand. Of course the soldiers fed their
new recruit. The next day the pig
followed them, and this it did daily
on the march to the river. When the
men crossed on the ferryboat at Cin-
cinnati the pig waited a bit, then
plunged into the river and swam across
and when the march was resumed the
animal took its place in the flank of
the moving column. Piggy now be-
came a great pet, and was as sure of
rations as the men themselves, and
destitute as the soldiers sometimes
found themselves, no one even hinted
at putting the knife to the throat of
their follower. At Lake Erie the pig
went on board the boat with the sol-
diers, but after reaching Bass Island
it declined to re-embark, and remained
behind in the care of a man whovo -
unteered to look after its wants. When
the troops returned to the American
side, to the surprise of all, the pig was
soon discovered on the right of the
line, ready for the return march to-
ward Harrodsburg. The animal su-
fered much from cold on this trip, and
at Maysville, where the army reeross-
ed the Ohio river, it was decided to
leave it in the hands of a friend, by
Governor Shelby. Finally, the piggy
was taken to the governor's home
where it passed the rest of its days
piggish ease and plenty.
Story of * New Coplietuo.
From the Cleveland Plain Dealer;
The heir of the gilded household had
lust proposed to the pretty kitchen
maid. She regarded him witlf a steady
glance as she polished ofT her rounded
arms with a coarse towel. „
"I must have every Thursday ou«,
■he said.
"Yes," he murmured.
"And every Sunday afternoon.'*
"Yca"
"And erery night as soon as tns
dinner things are done up."
"Ye-es."
"How many In the family?
"Only you and I."
"Any children?"
"N-n-no."
"Much company?"
"Very little."
"Any furnaco to tend?"
"No."
"Hired man to do all the outside
work?"
"Yes."
"What make of piano do you use?
"The Bangaway."
"Let me think. All, yes, I shall in-
#'" t upon having the breakfast room
to receive my beaux in." (
"Well, by thunder, you don't get it!"
cried the gilded heir as he turned and
6talked away.
So the maid haughtily rolled up her
sleeves and went back to her work.
Paradoxical Preaching.
An American minister who recently
visited Ireland says he heard a preach-
er conclude his sermon with these
words: "My brethren, let ndt this
world rob you of a peace which it caa
neither cive nor take away."
Snail" Sold In Pari*.
Nearly 100,000 pounds of snails are
sold dally in the Paris marketc, to be
eaten by dwellers in tbat clty' J ^
are carefully reared for the PurP°*
in extensive snail gardensi inth.
provinces, and fed on aromatic herbs
to make their flavor finer.
primitive Indiana County
Until a few days ago Brown COUI^'
Indiana, had neither railway,
graph nor telephone facilities any-
where within its borders. It is still
minus the two first mentioned necessi-
ties of modern life, bat a telephone
r ha, invaded KMl.rUle. ~mlW
from Columbus, in an adjommg
county.
Delegate from Porto Klcm
Frederico Degetau of San Juaa,.
chosen as the first delegate from Porto
Rico to the United States, is a lawyer,
having studied in the University or
Madrid. He is a member of several
scientific and philanthropic societies
and was one of the founders of the So-
ciete Francaise pour L'Arbitrage entre
Nations. Mr. Degetau has written
several books. He was one of the four
commissioners sent to Spain In lbOb to
ask for autonomy.
Rpfulnr Thing.
Grogan—I suppose you know It Is
the proper caper now not to serve but-
ter at dinner.
Hogan—That's always been the rule
at our boarding house. They servo
oleo instead, you know.—Doston
Transcript.
ITorrorat
She (after reading of the shipwreck)
Oh, my! They say it was the most
awful disaster of recent years. Only
one man survived to tell tlie story.
Isn't that terrible?
He—Frightful! mat a horrible
bore that man will be.—Philadelphia
Press.
AMOSliSI' THIS ICE
The longest electric railway in the
world is to be built in Montana, The
proposed line is from Billings to Great
Falls, some 200 miles, and the plan is
to operate it entirely by electric power,
which is to be supplied from gener-
ating stations on the Missouri and
Yellowstone rivers. The road would
have a considerable traffic in coal, ores
and other heavy freights and would be
the first line with such traffic to be
worked by electricity.
Signals from tl>e Clouils.
Though only an amateur aeronaut,
the Rev. J. M. Bacon, rector of a small
English parish, has solved the problem
of communicating from the clouds to
the earth without the use of wires.
The result of his experiments, whicii
have covered a period of seven years
have been made public, and will be of
valuable assistance to scouts and com-
"Was there anything cool about the
place where you were this summer?
"Yes; they had in the parlor a pic-
ture o' 'Washington Crossing the Dela-
ware.' "
Transvaal, -j. nanus to manders in times of war. In c p
supply of ammunition, a Transvaal or the war banoon has been of little pra -
Free State gun has often been able to ti(?al servjce f0r the reason that wires
hold its own against a whole English have been considered necessary in no-
battery because such a battery, unless tlfylng the troops below of the enen y
in a fixed position, has never enough movements and because the wires have
T-jevel Ilpadeil.
"The lady missionary declines to go
to Kentucky."
"Why?"
"She says sho'd feel Just as safe in
China and get more bric-a-brac."—In-
dianapolis Journal.
AN ENEMY TO DRINK.
one Woman Who Ha. Don. a Ureal
Deal to Put Down ThU Evil.
Minneapolis, Minn., Dec. 3.—(Spe-
cial)—When the Independent Order of
Good Templars of Minnesota wanted
a State Organizer they chose Mrs.
Laura J. Smith, of 121. \\ est 33d
Street, this city. The American Anti-
Treat League also selected Mrs. bmith
as National Organizer. The reason is
not far to seek. This gifted woman
has devoted her life to a battle against
Drink and Drinking Habits. Her in-
fluence for good in Minnesota is ana
has been very far reaching.
About two years ago however, it
seemed as if this noble woman would
have to give up her philanthropic
work. Severe pains in her back and
under her shoulder blades, made Ufa
a burden and work impossible. Physi-
cians were consulted, and they pre-
scribed for Kidney Disease. Three
month's treatment however, failed to
give Mrs. Smith any relief. Her hus-
band was much exercised, and cast
about him for something that would
restore his good wife to health ant
strength. He heard of the cures ef-
fected by Dodd's Kidney Pills, and ad-
vised her to try them, which she did.
She is now a well woman and says.
"Two weeks after I commenced tak-
ing Dodd's Kidney Pills, I felt much
better, and at the end of seven week3
was completely cured. I have had no
recurrence of the trouble, but I take
a pill off and on, and find that it keeps
me in good health."
Dodd's Kidney Pills are for sale by
all dealers at 50 cents a box.
They are easily within the reach of
all and no woman can afford to suf-
fer', when such a simple, and sur*
Remedy is at hand.
pchools for rcam-d Profes.ion..
There are 141 theological schools in
the United States, fifty-two law
schools ninety-two regular medical
Tchools, nine eclectic medical schools
and fourteen homeopathic.^
To ask a man to pay a bill is as easily
said as done.
The League against Seasickness is
a new French organization which
publishes a serious periodical, the
Journal du Mai de Mer, largely com-
posed of infallible prescriptions
against seasickness. Everybody knows
such recipes. People who do not go
to sea find them very effective, and
as a rule they are entertaining. But
the French journal ought also to print
some fiction with a less transparent
plot and a more agreeable climax.
Thus far this season 1,000 deer have
been taken to Bangor, Me., from the
hunting regions north of the city.
Nearly all of them were owned by
hunters from other states, who havn
taken them home. The number of
dead moose which have passed through
Bangor is 56, or within six of last
year's record for the corresponding pe-
riod. The deer figures show a falling
off of 251 from those of last season.
This is accounted for by the dry
weather of the first two weeks of the
season, and by the fact that many deer
perished in the deep snows of last
winter. There is plenty of deer in the
woods, however, and it is likely that
the total kill for the season will be
well up to that, of 1899,
ammunition to keep up quick fire, and
Is thus much less effective than a
single gun acting as a quick flrer-^-
otlier reason for the superior effective-
ness of our artillery lies in the fact
enormous superiority of the Enf. u i
over the Boers. A striking incident
occurred quite lately in a fight on June
7 at Vechtkop, to the south of Heil-
bron where 3,000 English, with eight
guns who were marching to Heilbron,
were attacked by twelve Boers with
one gun. Lieutenant Strydam, the
commandant of the Free State Krupp
gun, .shot with it from one position
with black powder, and from another
with smokeless powder, so that the
English thought that there were at
least two guns opposed to them of
which the first, which had fired black
powder, was soon silenced, and by a
well-directed fire (on the empty posi-
tion) was kept out of action. I lie
twelve V'Oers spread themselves over
a couple of ridges, and six of them ad-
vanced close to the enemy, led by
Gen Botha (brother of the Command-
ant General), so that the enemy imag-
ined they liad a large force to dea
with. I am curious to see the report
made on this action by Lord Methuen,
whd was. 1 am told, with the column,
more particularly because he was en-
tirely surprised by the Boers, whose
second shot landed right among the
eight guns and their teams, all unlim-
bered and at rest.
Again, our Krupp shrapnel is bet-
ter than the English. The latter is not
"What is the difference between a
person suffering from heat prostration,
and Allen's Foot-Ease? One feels the
heat and the other heals the feet."—
Life.
prevented ascensions beyond the reach
of guns. The old balloons were limit-
ed to an ascension of 1,000 to 1,500 feet,
while the Rev. Mr. Bacon is.able to
converse at an altitude of 2,000 to G,o00
feet A huge black, collapsing drum .
hangs some forty or fifty feet below
the car of his balloon, and this he
heats by means of electricity the
sounds being caused really by expan-
sion and contraction. The dots and
dashes of the Morse telegraph code
have been used in Mr. Bacon s experi-
ments and have been heard for several
miles. An operator understanding the
Morse code has been able to "take
Mr Bacon's messages without difficul-
ty Naturally, in time of war, the op-
erator in the balloon using the Bacon
system would, while using the dots
and dashes of the Morse alphabet,com-
municate with his officers below in
cipher. The enemy might hear the sig-
nals as plainly as the comrades of the
operators, yet would not be able to un-
derstand what was said any more than
he would a government message sent
over the cable or telegraphic wires.
The Rev. Mr. Bacon has interested
both the British war and navy depart-
ments in his invention, and on one of
his recent experimental trips had as
a companion Admiral Sir Edmund R.
Fremantle. The admiral expressed him-
self after the voyage as favorably im-
pressed with the system, and said he
had no doubt that if adopted by the
government it would prove of great
value either on land or sea
Thoroughbred.
"Mamma, I've found out my doga
pedigree."
"What Is it. dear?"
"Uncle Jim's hired man says he'b a
fullblooded mongrel!"—Harper's Ba>
ear.
Blight Do There.
"Maude thinks of applying for a
position as soprano in a church choir.
"Well there's a church for the deaf
up on Seventh street."—Philadelphia
Evening Bulletin.
Proof Positive.
"Do you know, I never dreamed she
was a trained nurse."
'"How did you And it out?
"Saw her bill."—Cleveland Plaia
Dealer.
Clltnatlo Extremes.
These autumn days are days of woe
Of which man must be wary;
It's August for an hour or so
And then it's January.
—Washington Star.
Mrs. Wlnslow's Soothing Syrup.
Tor children teething. sof.en. K m . redurcitn-
fl.mniatlou. alluyn pain, cures wtnrt colto. Ml a bottle.
The wisdom of one man may be the
folly of another.
It requires no experience to dye with
PUTNAM FADELESS DYES. Simply
boiling your goods in the dye is ail
that's necessary^
To be trusted is often a greater com
plituent than to be loved.
It is easy to recognize those who us#
Garfield Tea; their complexions are good
fur their blood is pure and they re not
troubled with constipation -the glow of
superb health shines In their faces.
Some folks are so refined that they
object to common sense.
When you buy bluing, ask for Red
Cross Ball Blue. Large package 5c.
The manager of a theatre can t com-
plain that he never gets a show.
The Host Prescription for Chills
and Fever is a bottle of Gbovk s Tastei.esb
L'hii.i. Tonic. It is simply Iron ;md quinine in
e, tasteless form. No cure—no pay. Price, 50c.
You can't keep your house warm
without a coaled cellar.
In Winter Use Alien s Foot-Fase.
A powder. Your feet feel unrom-
Not AIOMO.
Miss Withers—I believe Arthur li
afraid to propose to me.
Belle—Of course he is, and there ar
thousands of others Juat l ke him.—*
Smart Set.
2\. |jun vici . *
fortable, nervous, and often cold and
damp. If you have sweating, sore feet
or tight shoes, try Allen's Foot-Ease.
Sold oy all druggists and shoe stores
25 cents. Sample sent FREE. Address
Allen S. Olmsted, Le Roy, N. Y.
The man who bets at least gets the
returns for his money.
HERE Ai
Til"! i
Cough S3
In time. Hold by drunglsl
•T'KT-i'Ilfla
in time.
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Stevens, Oscar M. You Alls Doins. (Lexington, Okla.), Vol. 2, No. 42, Ed. 1 Thursday, December 13, 1900, newspaper, December 13, 1900; (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc168903/m1/2/: accessed April 18, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.