The Chandler Publicist (Chandler, Okla.), Vol. 16, No. 3, Ed. 1 Friday, May 14, 1909 Page: 3 of 8
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The Telephone Girl ! EXCURSIONS
VIA
The Flood
The telephone girl sits still in her
chair
And listens to voices everywhere.
She hears all the gossip, she hears
all the news.
She knows who is happy and who
has the blues.
She knows all our sorrows, she
knows all our joys,
She knows every girl who is after
the boys.
FOR
U. C. V. Reunion, Mephis,
June 8:h, l>th, 10th. G. A. R.
Reunion, Salt Lake, August
hUh—14th. I. O. O. F., Seattle,
j September 20th—25th. A. V.
fly Samuel Lincoln
sllcjP., Exposition, Seattle, All
She knows all our troubles,
knows all our strife, i ,, , .
Shp knows every man that is crflss , Epwofth League.
W-ith his wife. . j Seattle, July nh—12th. Con-
She knows every time we are out ference Church Brethren,
with the boys, . Harrisburg, Ya., May 26th-June
She knows the excuses each fellow I :<rd> Mystic Shrine, (Frisco
sh,'n'irM,l«.'c r . , . [official Route) Louisville, June
cshe Knows everv man who s in-
clined to be fast, 8th—19th. Southern Baptist
She knows the fair damsel who I Conventio, Louisville, May 12th
''"lemoned" him last. j l!)th.
In fact there's a secret'neath each ,, . , ,
fattier carl • Rate# lower than , even to
Of that quiet, demure-looking tele- 1 Colorado and Wast. Ask the
phone girl. [nearest Friso Agent or Write
It the telephone girl would tell all, .
that she knows 'L.O.Jackson, Division Passen-
It would make the best friends the , ger Agent, oklahoma City,
that
()klahom.
bitterest foes.
She could sow a small wi
Would soon be a gale,
Engulf us in trouble or land us in
jail.
She could tell you a story, which,
. gaining in force,
Would cause half the wives to sue
for divorce.
She Could get all the churchesj
mixed up in a right Capital City Business College, Guth- j
And turn all the days into blackest | rie, Okla.
of night. j Gentlemen:
In fact, she could keep the whole | This is to certify that I completed
town in a stew, I a course of the Byrne practical
A. J MACOMBKR
AGENT, CHANDLKR
A Good Salary
(Copyright, by Dally Story Pub. Co.)
"Say." said Tommy, "did I ever tell
you about the circus we had at our
housf the other night?"
"No," said I, settling back iu my
chair, "let her rip."
"Well," continued Tommy, 4llt was a
peacherine, considering that the cen-
ter of disturbance was nothing but a
china bathtub, like a canary bird's or
a hotel vegetable dish—same blame
thing—only larger.
"Well, as I was saying, it was on a
Saturday night, and I came homo very
early, about 2 a. m. I wasn't particu-
larly anxious for the folks to know
what time 1 got in, as the dad had had
a notion to mow down my allowance
for a couple of moons past. He's al-
ways preaching about early worms
and birds and opportunity and things.
"I could see my fond parents wait-
ing up lor me with tracts, but I
braced the game ami in I went. Noth-
ing doing—no parental greeting-
house like a tomb. Then I heard a
soft peep from the head of the stairs:
'Tommy, is that you?'
'■ 'Sure,' says I , 'were you looking
for some one else?'
'Come on iii),' says sis, 'there's a
lot doing.' '
"'in a minute,' says I. I located the
ice-water tank and imbibed generous-
ly. Then, with some difficulty, I as-
cended to the upper deck.
"The proud and happy author of
my being and the publisher of the same
were doing some kind of a splash act . j
'O, Tommy,' says sis, 'I'm so glad
you've come—we're all going to bo
drowned!'
"Sis was skylarking around the;
main cabin in a mosquito netting she |
If she told a tenth part of all that ; bookkeeping and simplified short-^
chp 1/nmv 1 U n A in II : n „
called a bathgown, and the fond and |
dutiful parents were likewise atiired. i
'Thomas,' says the governor, 'it is I
three o'clock, and you may as well
spend the rest of the evening profit-1
ablv. We are all much wearied with j
the unaccustomed exertion.' With this j
W hen you think what you owe to the bookkeeping and actual busi-1 he hands me a pail.
"The city's reservoir was hacking
up into our tub, and the family was
dipping it out and pouring it into the
she knew.
Now doesn't it mak
buzz in a whirl,
the telephone girl?—Ex.
hand in your school. Having tin-
head | ished in a reasonable length of |
time, I found it easy to understand 1
ness work trom the time I started
1 until 1 finished, and it gave me
! business training as well as
! ROCK POUTfiY FARM!
X
'"."••v thorough knowledge of bookkeep-
ing. Upon completion of my course
I accepted a position with the Ger-
lach National Bank of Woodward,
Okla., at a good salary, where 1 j
have been ever since. I cannot |
speak too highly of the systems I
* j taught in your school as they are I
«:• j simple and short and can be readily |
; understood. Young people, enter '
£ 1 the Capital City Business College j
'❖ 1 and taike one Or more courses and j
; get in touch with the business
*:* world and learn to earn something
for yourself.
O | Very respectfully,
j Clyiif. R. Grekne,
<•! Woodward, Okla.
❖ j We receive many letters similar
.> to the above. What more argu-
J i inent need any young person that it |
•g is worth their while to take a course
$ ; of bookkeeping business training,
Ttoenty*Three Ribbons ? 'shorthand and typewriting in the
Capital City Business College? Take
these two conrses and we will get
jou the position. We take the fam-
ous Byrne Simplified shorthand
and practical bookkeeping in half
the time and at half the cost of
other schools teaching other sys-
tems.
Write for our free 188 page,
beautifully illustrated catalog. Ad-
dress B. Bateman, principal Capi-
tal City Business College, Guthrie,
Okla.
Name
Address
Breeders of all varities of
Plymouth
7{ocks
Both for exhibition and utility
We Win
At the New State Poultrv
Show, Chandler, Feb. 2-tj '09
BARRED ROCKS: >■„*,
1st, 2nd and 3rd pullett, 1st and <rd
cock, 2nd and :<rd hen.
lA/UITP RflPKS' Cock, 1st, Jnd
""HC nUUNO. and:Jrd :<rd Pullet,
3rd Hen, 2nd Fen.
□ 11ETC !8t Hen, 1st, 2nd and
DUrr nuu*0. ;{rd i>ui!et. frd Cock
erel, 2nd Fen.
EGGS FOR HITCHING NOW READY
From $1.00 to $5.00 per setting [15]
GEO. E. BULL ARB, Prop.
One Half Mile East ol Park
Chandler, Oklahoma
E&s, F.jijjs, Eggs!
tdSSea 1S1.50 per IS. $2 50 per 30 J
Look, here, I will pay back
one-half price paid for set-
ting for choice bird o:|(J months
old. '
Sixtv-one premiums taken this
year.
Best display of poultry at Lin-
coln county Pair. Best display
at Poultry show at Chandler,
February 2-6. Highest scoring
birds in show. 1st and 2nd high-
est scoring pens. 12 highest
scoring chicks.
I have the following breeds:
AH of the Rock family, barred,
buff and white. Single comb
brown leghorns, single comb
buff orphing.ons, rose comb
Rhode Island reds, buff vvyan-
dottes, blue andelusians — the
only bird that carries the Ameri-
can ilag, red comb, white gills
and Ijlue feathers.
J. 0. LAY
P 0. Box 135, Phone 81
Notice
Patrons of this company who find
their name misspelled or the street
number or mail route incorrect in
the last directors will oblige us by
mailing the correct name and ad-
dress to the Pioneer Tel. & Tel. Co.,
Chandler, Okla.
Strairing milk takes out the in-
soluble foreign matter, but it's the
foreign substance in solution that
does the real harm.
Dairy Notes
j To increase the butter-fat yield
dispense with the non-producers.
| If you feed silage half the hay
i crop may go to market at a profit.
| Feed the cows as individuals, not
as a herd. Each has her own tastes
and fancies.
The man who says there is no
money in dairying is merely testi-
fying to his ignorance.
The way to get'a good milk flow
ar.d hold it through the year is to
give good cows good care.
It pays to feed high-priced feeds
only to unusually good cows. It
never pays to feed the other kind
anything.
"Cows with three per cent butter-
fat should be fatted for the sham
bles—not fit to keep in the dairy",
says the Indian farmer. If this
rule was followed, some mighty
valuable cows would be made into
beef. It's not the test alon^ that
determines, but the weight and tesi
together.
" 'O, to Sweep the Dust Off the Lake/
Says I Sarcastically."
washbowl. I could see what would
happen if we didn't bail it out—the
ranch would float down the street in
about two hours by the clock. The
more I bailed the less good it did. 1
took about 97 pails of water out of
that thing, and it was no joke, either,
as my roof was full of bats from the
evening's merriment.
"'Who found it?' asks I.
"'Me,' says sis. 'When I got ready
to hit the sheets. I came in here for
my evening's swim and found the tub
filled up of its own accord. I blew the
the whistle and piped all hands on
deck.' Of course, that wasn't her ex-
act language, but it's the idea.
"I bailed for two hours straight,
with sis encouraging me and begging
me to omit mutilating the English.
The hinge on my back got rusty and
my bialu cells began to work. 'See
here,' says I to sis. 'you bail a while.
I'm going after a plumber or some-
thing." •
"'Plumber/ scoffed sis; 'what
plumber would come out here at half-
past four on a Sunday morning?'
"It'll be five by the time that I
pipe his nobs,' says I, and plumbers
ought to be up early, even if it is Sun-
day morning. The early bird catches
the worm. Money'll bring him, and he
ran look to the governor for it.'
"'All right,' says sis, 'I'll bail.'
"While we went on talking the tun
filled itself again. The water rose in
distinct jerks, or tides, and I couldn't
seem to make any headway. Sis said
that when I had a good start, she'd
yell for help, and get the rest of the
family at it again. They'd been sleep-
ing now lor two hours, net. Well, I
hiked off down the avenue without th<*
slightest notion of the plumber quar-
ter. I woke tip a druggist, who cussed
me good and plenty and then some
when he found that I only wanted to
Ioor at. his directory, and he banged
the door in my map without giving me
a look at his sainted book. Then I
piped a jay to port, rolling towards
me, and as he looked respectable, 1
flagged him. #
"'Kind sir,' says I, 'can you put me
wise to a pipe speciallsf?' Says he:
'Youug man, I don't understand you;
I am a throat doctor myself.' - 'That
ion't fill the specifications,' says I;
1 don't want a bacteria sharp, only
i lead-pipe doctor.' •
•"(V says he, and he located a joint
t.:e where the plumber slept over
is offt e. 'is there a night bell?' say^
says he. 'You'll have to
,i k ! up a brick t.o rap wiili
! ' -
• and set sail I made more noise than
one of those steam organs.
"I pounded and rapped until I was
i horse; then a drowsy voice asked,
I from the iuside: 'Did some wan rap?'
I " 'Some wan did,' says I. T want a
! plumber double-quick/ 'What for?'
I asks the voice.
I " *0, to sweep the dust off the lake,'
says I sarcastically. 'Come out, I
need.a plumber.'
"After a long discussion inside, the
plumber himself condescended to speak
to me. *1 can't wurrtick on a
Sonday,' says he. 'It's aginist the
rules of me union/
"'Union be smothered,' says I; 'five
people are drowning. It's twenty for
you it you will come and save our
lives/
" 'I'll couie,' says he, *fer the sake
iv the errand iv mercy/ He wanted
to stoke the sugar first, but 1 told
him that my filthy lucre was in my
other vest on the piano, so he hooked
up his kit. and we started. He went
to sleep four or five times on the
way, but we finally made the harbor
and dropped anchor.
"On deck there was no change in
the scenery. Author, publisher and
sis ware still bailing when 1 introduced
the plumber.
" 'Thomas,' says the governor, 'you
are a credit to the family/ Sis Hew
the coop on account of not being
dressed for company.
" How long have you been doing
this?' asks the plumber.
" 'Since 11 p. m.—last 11 p. in.,' says
the governor, mopping his marble
brow.
" 'Why didn't ye put in tlie plug,
lay a brick on top iv it, and go to
bed?" asks the plumber.
" 'Never thought of it,' says I, feel-
ing foolish.
"The plumber got his kit, un-
screwed the trap of the washbowl and
gave something a push to the right.
'Yer trap was stopped up/ says he,
and that sent the water to the tub.
'Tis the same water,' says he. Ye can
see how soiled it is from bailing it so
frequent.'
"Wouldn't that get your goat? We'd
beer* transferring the same water all
night from the tub to the bowl and
buck again!
" 'Give me the twenty,' says the
plumber.
" 'Not on your tin-tvpe,' says the
governor, getting red.
" 'The young buck promised it,' says
the plumber, 'otherwise I wouldn't
have come. It's aginist the rules iv |
me—'
" 'All right.' says the governor, 'you
shall annex it. It'll come out of your j
allowance, Thomas.'
"I let I he man out, and he says:
'fan. f leave me kit out in tlie entry
till f come back?'
" 'I suppose so,' says 1, feeling
grouchy. 'Where are you going?'
" 'I'm going to early mass.' says he,
^ praise God fer me brains. Top o'
ti)' mornin' to yer honor!'
"Cheap? No name for it; I felt like
a bargain-counter shirt that had been
marked down to 59 cents."
Food of the Forefathers.
Judging from a passage in Harri-
son's "Description of Britain." break-
fast eating in the sixteenth century
was held to denote effeminacy. "Here-
tofore," he writes, "there hath been
inope time spent In eating and drink
| ing than commonly is in these days;
I tor whereas of old we had breakfasts
i in the forenoon, beverages or nun
I tions after dinner* and thereto reare
| suppers when it was time to go to
rest, now these old repasts, thanked
Ik God, are verie well left, and eel)
one (except here and there some
voung hungrie stomaeh that cannot
fast till dinner time) contenteth him
self with dinner and supper onlie.
. . . The nobilitie, gentrie, and
students ordinarilie go to dinner at 11
before noon, and to supper at five, or
between five and six at afternoon. The
merchants dine and sup seldom before
12 at noon, and six at night, especially
in Lonnon. The husbandmen dine also
at high noon, and sup at seven or
<?ight; .but out of the tearme. In our
universities, the scholars dine at ten."
£ Grand 33°\q
$ Reduction Sale
i
I
Opens Saturday, May 15,,at the
ftlodel Dept. Store
Chandler, Oklahoma
• T
Lice Kill Poultry Profits
' hey stop hens Irom laying, reduce flesh and make them an easy prey to
disease. Lion't-risk losing money and your birds a>> well—du-.t them with
I j I (' K iv I IjIjKR
(Powderod Form'
It is unequalled strenryh and eflu i«*ru> and will quickly rid vour fowls o
these expensive pests. V>c a box with sifting top.
Then >ju should use PRATTS L1QUJO LIGE KILLER { >r spraying 'he chick-
en house and roosts it will keep them free from vermin, (iallon tins $1.00 each
1 rails Head Lice Ointment is fine for little chick- leeps them free from lice
and i-. also the best remedy lor scaly legs. L. rge box J5t.
Pratts L«ce Killers are used by successful poultry raisers all over the country
and are sold by dealers everv where. Don't wait until it is too late. Keep
Pratls Lice Kiliers always on hand and the> will save >ou manv a dollar.
Ask Vo nr D-a|fi •
I Poultry Book it's free
carry the gei j,ne Putts.
Pratts New
If h«r doefc~'t
write us at once.
Dept. 1 2
iadelphia.Pa.
RICKLY ASH BITTER
CURES CONSTIPATION.
M. A. Frank, Special Agent-
J. F. COLLAR
FUNERAL DIRECTOR
PHONES 70 AND 143
NICUT CALLS GIVEN
PROMPT ATTENTION
Read This.
Chandler Oklahoma. This certi-
fies I have sold Halls Texas Wond
er for years and 1 recommend it to
be the best Kidney bladder and'
rhumatic medicine I have ever solp.
one bottle is sixty days treatment
Lynch Drug Co.
Sealed Bids
The board of education of district
138 has decided to extend the time
of receiving bids for the erecion
and completion of the said school
building to close on May the 8th,
instead of the second.
T. J. Ramskv, Director.
lincoln Lodge No. IS. K. ol P
nicciy rvny 1 hurvJay evening.
V.-,iting kmynts 4re iltayt
v wckomr
W O. < VtfMSTRONCi. C. C.
W t JOHNSON. S. of It. and 3.
Chandler. Oklahoma.
Chandler l odQc So. 10. A.
A f- A. M meets (he f'jrst
and third Saturdays of each
month. All members arn
eowested to he are^en.
Visitors ar* < ordially invile
H .'JUL NT. W MvJ
K A ASH TON.
Secretary.
Lincoln Commandery No 17 meets
• the second V. ednesdav each
L m°nth All visiting knights are
cordially welcomed to attend these
meetings
fRED NfcAl. t. C.
P. fc. BAttBPH fcf
Germans Drinking Less Beer.
As appears by the published state-
ment concerning the business opera-
tions during the last year the brew
eries of Frankfort and of Germany In
general did riot work very profitably
Lessened sah-s. owing to the fxistin#
business depression, unfavorable
weather during the summer season,
increased* taxes and high prices of
raw materials are stated as having
caused the decline in earnings. One
Frankfort company has declared only
per cent, dividend on its stock
against eight per cent, last year. Not
a few of the (Jerman brewing com-
panies have, in order to increase sales,
purchased high-priced properties and
equipped luxurious barrooms, which
are ostensibly carried on by independ
ent tavern keepers, but the latter, in
reality, have no capital and are but
business agents of the brewery, whose
beer they are by contract bound to
sell. The outlook of the brewing in
dtistries in Germany is not bright Just
now.—Consular Reports.
Memorial Day
Cuba Is to Repay Debt.
The recent Intervention in Cuba cost
the I'nlteil States soiiip six millions ol
<loUam And Cuba is expected to "pay
the freight." Hut the tfrms are easy
The president Is empowered by con-
gress to receive from the Cuban grtv-
eminent "from time to time* such
amounts to reimburse the United
States as he may ronsider the Cuban
treasury then able to pay without gerl
ous embarrassment." There is a chance
here for a difference of opinion be°
tween the Cuban secretary of the
treasury and the president of the
United States in regard to the mean-
ns ot the last six words of the coa-
lition.
The members of the Grand Army
of the Republic and Womans Relief
Corps of Chandler are pertectinx
arrangements for a proper observ-
ance of memorial d y in Chandler
Hon. Judtfe Garber of Enid and
Hon. J. M. Springer of Stillwater,
will divide time in making the
principal addresses. The VV. R. C.
will provide for the balance of the
program, (in account of May 30
occurring on a Sunday the Post and
Corps have selected the 2'Jth as the
day of observance.
Rev. Miller'will deliver the me-
morial sermon at the M. IJ. church
Sundav morning. M iv .'iOtH.
Let the citizens of Chandler join
hands with the "old bo^-s" in honor-
ing our soldier dead.
The cow may be a machine but
she is a mighty sensitive one and
deserves the most careful handling.
. When a man begins to ipologi u
for his stock you can rest assured
someone should apologize for him.
We sometimes hear the Scotch tisi-
the terms yeld, quay and Mirk and 1
wonder what* they mean. Both a
cow that is dry and a heifer that
has had a calf "and is dry are c alled
yelds. When a heifer is two or i
three years nid it is called a quay.
A yearling is called a stirk. — Farm
Press.
PIJIS?
31
1 <1M ll* .pi
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Ulam, P. L. The Chandler Publicist (Chandler, Okla.), Vol. 16, No. 3, Ed. 1 Friday, May 14, 1909, newspaper, May 14, 1909; Chandler, Oklahoma. (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc151601/m1/3/: accessed April 23, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.