The Prague Record (Prague, Okla.), Vol. 12, No. 19, Ed. 2 Thursday, November 19, 1914 Page: 3 of 8
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A
ILLUSTRATING THE REAL JOY OF THE DAY
Pelvic Catarrh
Lord, we, thy children, small and great,
Beneath thy care, where'er it be,
The while thy grace we supplicate,
Give thanks to thee.
—Clinton Scollard.
M^EodB
IMibrow"
YES, yes, Indeed! We would have
had a perfectly lovely time at
our house on Thanksgiving if
It hadn't been for an accident
that happened at the din-
ner table. At the time 1 felt terri-
bly misanthropic about it and
really had a very bad movay quart
dour for a minute, but I soon con-
soled my Bel f by recalling dear Rob-
ert Burns' precious words, "The
best laid plans of mice and men gang
bide awee."
We only had a small dinner party,
jusfthe Bolivards and Wood's sister
and her husband and tlieir little boy,
Harold. Did you ever meet Wood's
eister? My dear, between you and I—
remember this is strictly sotto voce—
she is very ignorant and snobbish, and
such a talker! Wood himself ac-
knowledges that she would surely ex-
plode if she ever got tetanus, and ever
since she went abroad she holds her
head as high as Marie Antoinette go-
ing to the Moulin Rouge and talks
nothing but Paris—a perfect parricide,
I call her!
And ignorant! Why, do you know,
she brought me back a little statu-
esque of Venus from Italy and apolo-
gized for its broken arms, by telling
me it was that way the diagonal was
found! Ha, ha, ha! I could scarcely
Tetain my specific gravity, I was so
amused. She didn't know that Mickey
Angelo had carved It that way on
purpose to make it look old and de-
bilitated because the Romans dearly
loved antique things. I don't blame
Jhem either, I do myself, don't you?
I have a colonial monogamy antima-
cassar 500 years old with all the
knobs broken ofT.
I had a high noon dinner at one
o'clock—"when jocund day stands
tipsy on the misty
mountain top,"
you know, as dear
eld Will would
say. It was a
etrict New Eng-
land dinner, of
course, in honor
of the day and
Wood's ancestors
—I am an F. F. V.,
myself—and before
it was served we
each agreed to tell
the one thing we
were most thankful for.
Wood was first. He said words
couldn't express his gratefultude be-
cause be didn't have to pay an in-
come tax. Poor Wood! Vie staid up
all the night before, figuring out what
he would have to pay at the source.
He was terribly puzzled at first and
wanted me to help him, but I was too
busy assisting Nora to make the
stuffing.
He didn't know whether to multiply
the least common multiple by the
fourth dimension and add t per cent
of the remainder, or extricate the
cuberoot of the net proceeds and
square the result. One thing, he Baid,
was certain. He'd just like to get
square once with the Democrats! My,
hut he was tickled when he came up-
stairs the next morning to tell me lie
had escaped after all, but, he said, it
vas a very close shave.
I don't know whether to tell 1 was
thankful because I had been elected
president of my suffrage club, or be-
cause I had Buch a wonderful child as
Gwendolyn, but I finally decided to in-
timate Cordelia, the mother of the
Cratchy, and display my jewel child.
Resides, I am far too modest to boast
of myself.
So I had Gwendolyn read a compo-
sition on "The First Thanksgiving," in
which she told all about the hard-
ships of the poor Pilgrims who came
over in the Maybell with Lord Balti-
more to Plymouth, and how they sat
down to their first Thanksgiving din-
ner of hominy and codfish balls, and
gave thanks because they hadn't been
scalped or burned as witches.
Then Wood had her bind every state
in the Union and tell what time it is
in the Scandalous peninsula when it
is six o'clock here. Then she showed
all of her beautiful sketches and
played several duets on the piano. She
is Mr. Boguslatchkey's favorite pupil,
and he often tells me that she will be
a perfect tyro when she grows up.
Just then, the "tocsin of the soul, the
dinner bell," rang and we had to
evade the rest of the proeram. 1 was
glad, too, because the Bolivards looked
awfully bored when Wood's sister
asked Harold to recite—my, my, how
she does love to show him off!
We had a lovely meal. Nora cer
tainly is a fine cook, even if she is
Irish. I had her mix the mincemeat
with strong tea and cane pepper in-
stead of wicked tilings like cider and
brandy, and the pies were delicious.
Everything was. Nora hasn't quit
talking about her fine cooking that
day yet. That's one trouble with the
Irish, they are so boastful! I firmly
believe it is the reason that .lulius
Caesar, when he conquered Ireland,
christened it "Erin-go-Brag," don't
you?
Reg pardon? Well, the dinner had
passed off beautifully. Wood had kept
the table in a roar—you know what a
delightful bon mot he is!—and had
carved the turkey just like a surgeon.
Rut first I must tell you about Harold.
The little wretch, instead of peeling
his banana into strips and laying them
carefully on the table like Gwendolyn,
turned his skin back and, after eating
the fruit out of It in two bites, threw
it under the table. He said afterwards
it slipped off his plate. At any rate it
fell right at Wood's feet.
Poor Wood! He had on some new
shoes without any heels—he didn't
want to buy them in the first place,
but I begged him to, because I love
him to be the observed of all observ-
ers and have a moldy form, as my be-
loved Shakespeare would say—and he
wasn't used to them, so that when he
got up to leave the table he slipped
on the peel.
Ours is an extension table with ball
gearing rollers, and when he grasped
the edge of it to save himself from
falling, alas, alas, it parted in the
middle and all the combustibles of the
dinner were participated onto the
floor and Wood fell backwards on top
of his chair with the most violent em-
phasis.
Poor boy! He had been telling n
baseball story and had been using such
shocking paraphrases as "jammed the
cushion," "swatted the sphere," "clat
tered across the pan" and "dented the
platter." Don't you think it was a
dreadful coincidence that Just as he
said "platter." down went the turkey?
Oh, dear! I just can't help but feel
someway that perhaps the whole thing
was a nemesiB on him for using such
dreadful, undeflled slang.
Well, he paid dearly for It, poor
fellow! I'm afraid it will be weeks
before his solar system will be entire-
ly renovated When we disinterred
him that day we found that his paral-
lax was dreadfully bruised, and that
he had a Bovero attack of nostalgia—
I declare I thought his dear nose
would never, never stop bleeding!
Yes, we all partook of some Injury
—Mrs. Bolivard hasn't spoken to me
s|nce because hnr new scrape-de-shin
Bkirt was ruined; 1hat is. all but Har-
old and his mother. It seems like the
Very ironing of fate that they were
the only ones present who escaped
from damage, don't you think so?
1 Would
Not Do
Without
Peruna.
Miss Kmelle
A. Haberkorn.
2 2 6 1 Gravols
Ave, St. Louis,
Mo., writes
'For over two
years I was
troubled with
catarrh of the
pelvic organs.
I heard of Dr.
H a rt man's
book, 'The Ills
r f Life.' 1 read
It and wrote to
the doctor, who answered my letter
promptly I began taking treatment
a* soon as possible. Tongue cannot
express how 1 suffered. 1 feel grate-
ful for what the doctor h$s done
for me, and would not do without
Peruna. I now enjdy as good health
as ever. I find It has Improved my
health so much that I will recommend
It to any one cheerfully "
Careful Dad.
"We receive many i|ii#*firly directed
etterw, of course, acknowledged a
J08t office assistant in answei to an
irgent question, according to tli«
Cleveland Plain Dealer. "Hut t lie
lueerest I ever remember having seen
lad an address tliut ran somewhat as
'ollows
•• To my son Thomas if lie is asso-
ciating with decent young fellows and
'ailing on respectable girls If lie
iin't, please return to above address
aecause the letter has Two Dollars in
t.'
"I've often wondered whether the
etter got back all right "
Reduction in Living Costs Made Po -
sible by Perfect Product.
The sudden and highly alarming in-
2reu t in cost of footl himtsmiIits. j-ucIi
a.n sugar and Hour, demand InvreiiMed
domtsiii' economy. For income* have
uot advanced Willi this war-time soar-
ing ot r«/utl prie s
WiiMfe or food as well as oust of
footl iiilist be considered and minimized
in these days of exorbitant prices.
Fortunately the ki« utvst food wasts
Willi which the housewife has to con-
tend—bake-day failures and the waste
of costly baking materials—is rendered
|ire\entulile by the perfect lea veiling
pw\y-er (Jf Calumet Baking Powder.
Calumet is in absolutely sure baking
powder of absolute purity It never
fulls to pr* d'i< e fully raised bakings
that ui'e tender and temptingly deli-
rious. For its wonderful leavening
strength n.-ver varies it s always uni-
form—and always uucxcrilvd.
To pay more than is asked for Calu-
met simply means a useless waste of
ntouey. 'lo pay Ivum, smd obtain an in-
ferior powder, means tbe useless waste
of lltikiiiK Material*.
Order a <un of Calumet. Save a sub-
stantial sum on the price asked for
Trust Brands when you lm> it Save
the flour, sugar, butter ami eggs so
often wasted by Big Can Powders—
when you use it. .You are safe in or-
dering Calumet, in trjlua it. in tewtlng
the truth of tli. se claims, for if you are
not thoroughly satisfied the purchase
price will be refunded by your local
dealer.
In buying a enn of Calumet send the
slip found in tbe one-pound can to t lie
''aIumet Baking Powder t'o . Advertis-
ing Department. Chicago, III . and you
will receive one of their handsome 72-
page Cook Books, illustrations In col-
ors. and a book that will be a g'jide to
economy in the kitchen.—Adv.
Beware the Crnflagration.
Rev. Dr. Harris L. Remington,
in an address on Purity" before the
Young Men's Christian association of
Duluth, said:
"I would warn my young hearers
against the almost universal custom
known as 'spooning.' In parlors, on
park benches, everywhere, one sees
lads and lasses tightly folded in each
others' arms, like wrestlers of equal
strength. Bah!
"'Hut,' you ask me, 'what's the
harm? A kiss is only a trifle '
" 'Ah, yes, 1 respond, a kiss is only
a trifle—and so is a spark.' "
NEW YORK 300 YEARS AGO
From Forest Land It Has Grown to a
City of Six Million In-
habitants.
As years come and go in the twirl-
ing of tills world about the suu. it
was but as yesterday when Adrian
P locks rude log huts were the first
habitations of white men on Manhat-
tan island, says the New York Mail
A branze plate on the building at
4.r> Broadway Is the token of that oc-
cupation.
A city of nearly six million peo-
ple, with real estate values footing
up to nearly $10,000,000,000. has been
wrought in the three intervening cen-
turies
Y *t as vfc look back in the days
of this tercentenary we are stirred
not only by the records of growth,
hut hv the present opportunities ami
responsibilities incident to the twenti
etli century status of the city that
was born in lie seventeenth.
The winter refuge of the crew of
the Tiger lias become the world cen-
ter Captain lllock hewed timbers
from ihe virgin forest and built a new
ship, which he called the Restless.
The swath that he cut was the begin-
ning of Broadway The rfaine thai
he gave his schooner was character
ized the city.
The restless energy of New York is
the greatest factor in the world prog-
ress that is focused here in this young
gP.iut among the world's metropolises
Activities of Women.
Philadelphia lias five women factory
inspectors
Women farm laborers in Kngland
number nearly one hundred thousand
Over live thousand women are en-
gaged in industry in Italy
Over six thousand women In New-
York are employed as tailoresses
Canada has an active rifle asocla-
tion composed of women.
There are over lliree million widows
in the United States and there is no
estimate as to how many there will
he in Europe after the war. but it |
will probably b<* twice as many as we
have
In Java, when a man marries, he
goes to his wiles house, where the
women sit in council upon all matters
of importance and dictate the affairs
of the home.
Widows of soldiers killed in the
service of the British army will re-
ceive a pension of from five to ten
shillings a week, depending upon the
rank of her husband.
UGH! .MIEl MAKES 1! SICK!
CLEAN 111! JD BOWELS 1 WAV
Just Once! Try "Dodson's Liver Tone" When Bilious, Consti-
pated, Headachy—Don't Lose a Day's Work.
Liven up your Bluggisli liver! Feel
fine ti ti ti cheerful; niuke your work a
pleasure, lie vigorous and full of am-
bition. Hut lake uo nasty, danger-
ous calomel, because it makes you!
sick and you may lose a day a work.
Calomel is mercury or quicksilver,
which causes necrosis of the bones.
Calomel crashes into sour bile like
dynamite, breaking It up That's
when you leel that uwful nausea and
cramping.
Listen to me' If you want to enjoy
the nicest, gentlest liver and bowel
cleansing you ever experienced lust
take a spoonful of harmless l>odson's
Liver Tone Your druggist or dealer
sells you a 50 cent bottle of Dodson's
Liver Tone under my personal money-
back guatuntee that each spoonful
will clean your sluggish liver belter
than a dose of nasty calomel and that
It won't make you sick
Dodson's Liver Tone is real liver
medicine. You'll know it next morn-
ing. because you will wake up feel-
ing fine, your liver will be working,
your headache aud dizziness gone,
your stomach will bo sweet and your
bowels regular
Dodson's Liver Tone is entirely
vegetable, therefore harmless and '
cannot salivate. Give It to your chil-
dren Millions of people are using
Dodson's Liver Tone Instead of dan-
gerous calomel now. Your druggist
will tell you that the sale of calomel
is almost stopped entirely here.
Shipping Fever
lnflaensa. pink ey«. ©pliootlc, distemper. and all noae and throat dtsenaetenred,
ami ail others, no matter how "exposed " kept from having any of Him*
diH Nines with Nl'OIIN'H I.IUUI1) D1NTKMPEK CURK. Three to aim
one MJ-eent bottle guaranteed to do so.
BALM nat'OOlSTS
NIMHI N MFlHCAI.ro.,
Chemists and Jtacterloluglsta, (iualisu, I ml., t), 8. A.
Mice Ate Peace Sermon.
In an address before the Men's club
of the Tabernacle Christian church, |
according to a Columbus (Ind I dis-
patch Kev. Alexander Sharp of the
Presbyterian church there, who has
just returned from a two months' va-
cation abroad, told his audience I hat
the last sermon he delivered to his
congregation before he left was an
earnest plea for universal peace.
Before departing he placed the ser-
mon in his desk; on his return he
opened his desk, intending to reread
the sermon, but he found that mice
had eaten his universal jueace effort.
The Cockney "H" Again.
The American tourist was taking
the rest cure for a day in a London
hoarding house.
"1 shall want no more meals," she
said, when the maid brought up tea.
"1 shall be up for dinner. There's
nothing more I want."
Then in the next breath she added:
"Oh, yes, there is' 1 want that ho>
water bottle; but that's not to eat."
The cockney maid stood silent for a
moment, then said gleefully, "Oh, yes,
it is to 'eat! You want me to eat it
for you?" Youth's Companion.
Important to IViotner*
Examine carefully every bottle of
CASTOR1A, a safe and sure remedy for
luiants and children, and see that it
Hears the
Signature of
In Use For Over 30 Years
Children Cry for Fletcher's Castoria
A General Collapse.
"I hear poor Mrs. Smith was com-
pletely broken up when she tried to
sing at the concert."
So she was, poor thing! Her voice
broke her face fell, and she went all
to pieces"
Ten smiles for n nickel. Always buy ftpd
Cross Hall Blue; have beautiful clear white
clothe*. Adv.
SUFFERED FOR FOUR YEARS.
Mr. J. M. Sinclair of Olivehill,
Tenn, writes: "I Btrained my back,
which weakened my kidneys and
caused an aw ful bad backache an J
inflammation of
the bladder. La-
ter -I became so
much worse that
1 consulted a
doctor, who said
that I had Dia-
betes and that
my heart was af-
™ i • fected. I suffer-
Mr. J. M. Sinclair. for four veara
and was in a nervous state and very
much depressed. The doctor's medi-
cine didn't help me, so I decided to
try Dodds Kidney Pills, and I cannot
say enough to express my relief and
thankfulness, as they cured me. Dia-
mond Dinner Pills cured me of Con-
stipation."
Dodds Kidney Pills, 50c. per box at
your dealer or Dodds Medicine Co.,
Buffalo, N. Y. Write for Household
Hints, also music of National Anthem
(English and German words) and rec-
ipes for dainty dishes. All 3 sent free.
Adv.
Time to Go.
"Right in the midst of the advice
you were giving him you brokn off and
hurried away."
"That's what I 'MdT"
But he was listening deferentially
to all you had to say."'
"You.bet he was. I never had a
man listen to me that deferentially
that he didn't try to touch me tor live
dollars before 1 got away."
SCORED ONE ON THE HOTEL
Simeon Ford Tells How He Once En-
tertained Guest With Lively
Sense of Humor.
Simeon Ford, who accomplished the
extraordinary feat of running the
Grand 1'nioii hotel and being a
humorist of nation wide reputation at
the same time, and, now that I lie
hotel is defunct, is presumably turn-
ing his whole attention to the con-
vulsing of dinner guests over their
coffee, expressed himself with much
modesty in reply to a question of the
Boston Herald
I nevei tell stories," wrote lie, "nor
can 1 remember them " Thai looked
damaging But presently Mr. Ford
brightened up amazingly and finished
his communication in this way
"Here is a bit of humor, however,
and a true hotel happening
"Our steward had printed on the
bills of fare the following notice:
" All articles brought into the hotel
and used at the table will be charged
for as though furnished by the house.'
"Some one mailed me one of these
bills and under the notice lie had
w ritten:
" Does this apply to false teeth?' "
Quite Simple
"My dear major. I want to ask you
a question, ' remarked the modest mai-
den to her partner as they entered the
conservatory.
"A thousand if you like." replied the
gallant major.
"What is a kiss?" The soldier was
taken aback, but quickly pulled him-
self together, and tlnnly said. "This
is."
"Sir," replied the indignant seeker
after higher culture, "you misunder-
stand ine. The interrogation I put to
you was a mathematical problem
which 1 though4 might Interest you."
It does, it does." said the major,
"but if it's a conundrum I give it up."
The maiden's eyes sparkled, and
there was music in her voice as she
threw out the answer, "Why, it's noth-
ing divided by two."
No Excuse for Plainness.
A young lady, by no means beauti-
ful, was introduced, to a gentleman
who was endowed with good looks but
not manners. During the course of
their conversation the gentleman |
asked:
"Are there many more ladies like
you in the Potteries?"
The young lady replied: "Oh, yes.
We all are good-looking there. You
see. we make our own mugs."
He Took the Hint.
"How radiant you are tonight, Made-
line," he exclaimed enthusiastically,
as they met at the, corner. "You actu-
ally look tit to eat."
"1 feel that way, too," was the naive
rejoinder.
Whereupon one week's salary went
to smash iu tiie nearest lobster pal-
ace.
Why They Settle.
Wife Who can doubt the power of
woman's love! Think of the thou-
sands of wild youths who have set-
tled down into staid and respectable
citizens as soon as they married?
Husband They couldn't afford to
he anything efe>e alter they got mar-
ried"
lout ow\ oiti tii.1st wil l, tki.i, yoit
Vt\ \|r :ie Kvr Itemed* l<-r Ihd. Weak. Watery
lltes ii nd llruniilulfd KjHldv. No (Stuartlng —
ji ki Kve Cou.tort Write lor Hook of the K' u
by mail hni Murine hire Kewetly Co.. Chicago.
One way lo unsettle a question is
to argue about it
li takes 11 tons of beets to produce
one ton of beet sugar.
Sold Under
a Binding
Guarantee
Money Back
If It rail*
For Man o Dcait
HANFORD'8
Balsam ofMyrrh
For Cuts, Eurr.a,
Bruises, Sprains,
Strains, Stiff Neck,
Chilblains, Lame Back,
Old Sores, Open Wounda,
and all External Injuries.
Made Since 1846. A,ibAoutu.dy
Price 25c, 50c and $1.00
m fl n | ok write
AH Dealers
Constipation
Vanishes Forever
Prompt Relief—Permanent Cure
CARTER'S LITTLE
LIVER PILLS never
fail. Purely vegeta-
ble — act surely
1 but gently
| the liver.
Stop after
dinner dis-
tress cure
indigestion,
improve the complexion, brighten the eyes.
SMALL PILL, SMALL DOSE, SMALL PRICE.
Genuine must bear Signature
CARTERS
ITTLE
PILLE.
PARKER'S
HAIR BALSAM
etpr
lerlU
p&ratii
ill l|f to ••r ait i. ate dandruff.
For Restoring Color and
Beauty to Gray or Faded Hair.
tOc. am! fl.uuai I'ruirciala.
W. N. U., Oklahoma City, No. 47-1914.
C
That Weak Back
It is easier to learn how to make
money than how not to gel rid of It.
Many a man who isn't a coward is
afraid of consequences.
Married in Haste.
Neighbor—The Widow (Jay's mar-
riage was rather sudden, wasn't it?
Friend Yes; lier daughter's baby
was beginning to talk; and the widow
wanted to have the wedding over be-
fore the kid learned to say "grand-
ma."—New York Weekly.
Anticipating It.
"You know Ethelbert Wombat, that
model young man?"
"Yes; what has he been caught do-
ing?"
accompanied by pain here or there—extreme nervousness—
fleeplessnesa—may be fuint spells—or spasms all are Finals of
distress for a woman. She may be growing from girlhood into
womanhood— pushing from womanhood to motherhood —or later
suffering f r«>m that changeinto middle life which leaves so many
w recks of women. At any or all of these periods of a woman's life
«! he should take a tonic and nervine prescribed for just; uch ca .es
ty a physician oi vast experience in the diseases of women.
DR. PIERCE'S
Favorite Prescription
has successfully tieated more cases in past forty years than any other known remedy. It,
can now be had in sugar-coated, tablet form as well as in the liquid. Sold by fnedicin*
dealers or trial box by mail on receipt of 50cents in stamps
Mias Elizabeth Lordahl of Berkeley, Cal., in a recent leiter to f>r Pierce said: "l wai completely
broken down in health, I wasucliiriK und ha<l i-uuianllover my body andwus so ncrvvut that I could ®cre n
If anyone ulktd to me, but 1 liu.l the good fortune to meet a nurse who had been cured by I>r Pierce
Prescription. I have never hud an occasion to consult a phyi>i< tan since—am in excellent health,'
3
Real Cauie for Thankiglvlng.
On every side there la cause for
thanksgiving. We are at peace with
all, even our enemies, if there be such.
Our past achievements stimulate to
further efforts, and our present diffi-
culties breed freBh determination to
overcome thera.
I>r. Pierce*. Pleasant Pellel. reiculale stoma, h
liver anil bowtla auicar-coaled. tiny nrunult'
Death Lurks In A Weak Heart
If Yours is tluttering or weak, uso RENOVINE." Mad® by Van Vleet-Menafl«ld Drug Co., Memphis, Tenn. Price tl.OO
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Nipper, Frank S. The Prague Record (Prague, Okla.), Vol. 12, No. 19, Ed. 2 Thursday, November 19, 1914, newspaper, November 19, 1914; (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc147775/m1/3/: accessed April 20, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.