Garber Sentinel. (Garber, Okla.), Vol. 5, No. 46, Ed. 1 Thursday, September 8, 1904 Page: 3 of 8
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HOBTICyiTUH;
wtm
Her Languid Guess.
"A member of the Stock Exchange
has just paid $80,000 for a seat," said
the husband of the prima donna.
"CVacious, dear, I should think you
coul.i afford lo give him a box for
that!" said the prima donna, lan-
guidly.—Yonkers Statesman.
Somewhat Egotistical.
Downing—Are you a believer in the
survival of the fittest?
Uppson—Certainly; and I shall con-
tinue to be as long as I live.
She Would See About It.
Judge—Now, is it a fact that you
stole these things from witness' store?
Prisoner—If you please, your honor,
my wife
Judge—Oh, never mind your wife!
Voice at the Back of the Court—Oh,
won't he, though?
Not the Real Thing.
She—So your friend Jingleton is a
brain worker, is he?"
He—Not necessarily. He writes
words for nonular sones.
SOON WILL BE FAR AWAY.
"Jl-IIFR. F
m p
n
Had Them Sized Up,
Who is that distinguished looking
man?"
Ho is tiie head waiter."
"And who is that other fine-looking
fe.low with the diamond in his shirt
front?"
That is the clerk."
"One more qeustion. Who is that
insignificant looking man who seems
to fee! that he doesn't belong here?"
"That is the owner of the hotel."—
Modern Society.
President—I think the cashier ha s a far-away look in his eyes
Paying Teller—Yes. Better watch the cash drawer.
The Mutilators of Books.
"I have had lots of friends who were
guilty of mutilating books they had
borrowed from me, but my latest ex-
perience was the most novel of all."
"What was it?"
"1 lent Mrs. Blanks my dictionary a
few days ago and yesterday she re-
tuurned it without a word."
isn't
The Boston Way.
Towne—She's from Boston,
she?
Browne—I can't toll. She hasn't
had occasion yet to pronounce the
world "either."
Towne—She's not from Boston,
then. If she were, she'd have found
the occasion long ago.
Not Inconsistent.
Tess You don't mean to say you're
going to marry him?
Jess—Yes.
Tess The idea! Why, you said you
wouldn't marry him if he was the last
man on earth.
Jess (snappily)—Well, my gracious!
He isn't, is he?
Real Good of Him.
Kind Lady—Let mj see. This is
the second time I have given you a
meal, isn't it.
The Hobo—Dat's wot, ma'am. An'
jist ter show dat I ain't ungrateful
I'll give youse a testimonial wid me
autergraff ter be used fer advertisln'
ourposes.—Exchange.
No Chance to Enjoy It.
Paterson Pete—I dreamed last night
dat I had a million dollars.
Stacked Oats—Did yer enjoy it?
Paterson Pete—Nit! I wuz sued
fer breach uv promise, operated on
fer appendicitis an' mentioned fer de
vice presidency 'fore I'd even got it
counted.—J udge.
"It's Morgan's."
Church—I see a statement in the
papers that when J. P. Morgan reach-
ed New York he left the ship.
Gotham — What's strange about
that?
"Why, it being Morgan, I suppose
most people expected to see him take
the ship with him."
Caught Himself.
Jiggins—The last time I saw you
your neighbor wasn't well. You re-
member you were telling me about
liis illness.
Berriam (the undertaker)—Yes, it
terminated favora—er—as I was say-
ing, alas! it terminated fatally.—Cath-
olic Standard.
Business Proposition.
The foreign nobleman entered the
old man's private office.
"Mr. Millyuns," he began, "I love
your daughter, and ask her hand in
marriage."
"Hem!" exclaimed old Millyuns,
musingly. "What are your lowest
terms?"
Slight Mistake.
^ou look at me as if you
thought I was a fool.
She—I beg your pardon. You can't
be such a fool, after all.
He What do you mean?
She Your remark shows that you
possess the ability to read one's
thoughts at a glance.
Not Strange.
There was a strange man at the
ooor just now, ma'am, and I don't
think he could tell the truth if he
triSd," said the maid.
Why, then, do you say he was a
strange man, Bridget?" replied (he
woman who was living with her sec-
ond husband.
Not a Mourning Suit.
Brown—I just met Old Man Smith
on his way down town to recover his
son's body.
Green What! You uon't. mean to
say that his son was drowned!
Brown—Oh, no. The old fellow was
going to buy the boy a new suit of
ciothes. See?
Something to be Thankful For.
Lady Caller—I am sorry to hear
that your husband has failed, Mrs.
Taketeasy. It must be
Mrs. Taketeasy (sobbing)—Yes, It's
dreadful; but (brightening visibly)
thank goodness my new costume came
home just before the crash!—New
Yorker.
Strength.
"Some scientist has declared that
there is as much strength in. three
eggs as there is in a pound of beef-
steak," said the observer.
"Well," replied the actor, "I met an
^gg once that would have eliminated
the other two eggs from that proposi-
tion."
The Incentive.
"Going away?" asked Tawker.
"Yes," snapped Bacheller, plodding
on with his suit case.
"By the way, the Popleys next door
to you have a baby, I hear."
I hear, too; that's why I'm going
away."
What an Idea!
She—"Mercy! Charley! How your
cJothes smell of tobacco!"
He—"Yes; I rode up in the smok-
ing car to-night."
"Why, Charley, I thought they were
using smoke consumers on the rail-
road now."—Yonkers Statesman.
It Certainly Was.
Riffraff—Hear about Peskem?
Biffbang—No; what, about him?
Riffraf They say his wife made it
so hot for him that he had to leave
home.
Biffbang—Well, that certainly was
i' shrew-ed move on his part.
Ever Notice It?
Brown—I have just discovered what
it is that destroys a man's memory
completely.
Green—What is it—alcohol or to-
bacco?
Brown—Neither; it's doing him a
fa vnr.
Punctilious.
"Don't you know you could get at
least a dollar for a day's work?"
"Mister," answered Meandering
Mike, "I couldn't take de chance. De
work I'd do in a day wouldn't be
worth fifty cents, an' I ain't goin' to
invite no perceedin's fur false pre-
tenses."
Keep it Dark.
"If a man keeps his eyes open and
uses good judgment there's no sense
in his being held up and fobbed," said
the Chicago Individual.
"No," replied the householder. "He
can sit out on the front porch until
bed time and not burn any gas at all."
Not Familiar with Him.
"Have you ever read any of the
teachings of Buddha?" asked Mrs.
Oldcastle.
"No," replied her hostess as they
seated themselves in the sumptuous
library. "Where's he teaching?"
HER FATHER'S ADVICE.
Location for Fruit Raising.
In the raising of any kind of fruit
•he location cuts a large figure. It
has been found that high land is best
for all kinds of fruit. The cold air
runs off the tops of the hills and down
into the valleys, just as water does.
The old impression that valleys were
warm is not well founded. TlAiy may
he warm on a hot day because the
air is stagnant and the cool air from
the open country does not so readily
fan the cheek. But the winter time is
chiefly the time when we want a tem
perature that is mild. Things planted
in the valleys are subjected to greater
cold than are things on the hill tops.
This, too, is contrary to the old im-
pression. Not till man had long ob-
served the effects of such planting
did he come to the conclusion that
he had been mistaken in his first con-
clusions. But he found that the corn
was first frosted in the hollows and
that his fruit trees were injured in
che valleys, while they were free from
Injury on the hill tops. This led him
to make more accurate observations
by the help of the thermometer. In
the spring time also the fruits on the
low lands are liable to be injured by
frosts for the reasons named. The
land to select is the high land, as this
gets more sun and less cold than any
other, though the wind may have a
clean sweep over it. When the lanu
is a dead level it is of course of
uniform temperature. It Is better
than the valley and not so good a3
the hill, but makes a good average. A
man with a level farm need not hesi-
tate to put in any kind of fruit that
will grow, provided the general con-
tour of the country is level. Of course
if the level farm is in a valley sur-
rounded by hills the objection that
applies to the narrow valley on a sin
gle farm holds good, in the main. The
man that wants to raise fruit should
have the advantage of hill sides, and
if he has both southern and northern
slopes so much the better. The fruit
on the southern slope will be early
and that on the northern slope will
be late, on account of the varying
amounts of sunshine that are rvail-
able. The ripening of fruit is largely
a matter of sunshine.
There are parts of the country
where the valleys are preferable to
the hills for fruit growing; namely,
those sections of the Southwest where
the amount of heat is too great for
the best results. Then by choosing
valley locations the moisture and the
cool temperature may be obtained.
The Farm Garden.
We are glad to see that the farmer's
garden is growing in popularity. In
the Western states the farms were so
extensively devoted at first to exten-
sive farming that there was a time
when nothing but grain and cattle
seemed to be thought of. The farm-
er's wife had a hard time of it. She
had three meals a day to prepare for.
That made 1,095 meals a year and
she had very little on which to draw
outside of poultry, eggs and milk. It
took a long time to get the farmers
away from their diet of fat pork and
bacon. But on millions of our farms
to-day are nicely kept gardens. The
housewife has only to step out of
doors to get a variety of vegetables at
almost any time of year, from April
to November. Where fruit trees are
added and a grapery the good things
are continued into the winter. The
getting of a meal is not now the
problem that it used to be. Some of
our farmers have not yet awakened
to the advantages of this adjunct to
the kitchen. The lack is still felt in
the more northerly of our states,
where the climatic conditions are
somewhat against the easy manage-
ment of a garden and fruit planta-
tion. Science, however, is working
on the problem even there, and glass
and winter protection are doing for
the north what the warm sunshine Is
doing for the milder climate. Let
every farmer put fc x good garden
and make the lives of his people
happy.
He—I told your father that I just dote on yop
She—And what did he say?.
He—That I had better find an anti-dote.
In Picking Apples.
One man suggests that a good way
to pick apples is to put a tipk filled
with hay under a tree and drop the
apples into it from the limbs. He
asserts that this has been his practice
and that the fruit is not thereby in-
jured. This may be all right for
some kinds of fruit, but it would not
bo for others. There are some of our
varieties that Injure so easily that
even the pressure of the thumb and
finger must be looked out for. Be-
sides, in the letting fall of apples from
the top of the tree a great deal of
skill is required not to hit the other
apples in the tict'or the limbs of the
tree when the apples are being
dropped. The apple basket and the
apple bag will be found most advan-
tageous for most of the work of f-ult
gathering.
Roots and Sheep.
Some of our stockmen want to know
why more turnips and other roots are
not grown in this country for the use
of sheep. One man asserts that we do
not grow more roots now than we did
forty years ago. The invariable reply
that has to be made to this is that
the corn plant takes the place of the
root very largely in American agricul-
ture, whether it should do so or not.
Another man declares that the pres-
ence of the silo in America has
been the reason why men diu
not grow more roots for sheep.
We cannot believe that this is
the case, for the reason ..hat silage
has never been extensively used in
sheep feeding. The American farmer
is rather inclined to favor the con-
centrated ration and he speaks of tur-
nips and other roots as being "mostly
water." He reads the books that give
the analyses of roots and grams and
fails to figure out a very large nutrient
ration for the turnip. He has never
put enough weight on the succulence
of the root and its aid to digestion.
There is no question that roots are
highly relished by sheep and that they
are a great aid to digestion. But the
farmer is wedded to corn, which can
be cultivated more easily than turnips
and will survive even if the weeds do
make a good growth between the
rows. There is no doubt that even if
a man has all other kinds of food a
good acreage of roots for his stock
will pay him well.
Government Supervision of Horse
Breeding.
Attempts have been made from time
to time to secure some kind of na-
tional legislation that would put a pre-
mium on good, sound stallions of the
different breeds and by inference at
least act against the poor scrubs that
are used because they are cheap and
for no other purpose. This haB not as
yet resulted in any law relating to the
service of stallions. The bills that
have been Introduced from time to
time provided for the examination of
stallions as to soundness and to some
extent as to conformation. Just what
the government can do in the matter
it is difficult to say. We know what
other governments have done and
what they are doing, especially the
government of France, where public
studs are in common use. All Ameri-
cans doubtless believe that it would be
a good thing to prevent the use of
poor stallions, but the way to do this
not plain. The radical bills fail
because they are radical, and the con-
servative bills fail because they do
not promise to accomplish much and
hence do not get the support of the
breeders.
WASH BLUE „
Costs io cents and equals 20 cents
worth of any other kind of bluing.
Won't Freeze, Spill, Break
Nor Spot Clothes
directions for uses
W«le£«lc*
around in the toater.
At all wlso Grocers.
Young Woman Trains Eels.
At Manurewa, in New South Wales,
a young lady named Swearo has train-
ed a number of huge eels to answer
to her call, to climb to the bank, and
permit her to lift them.
Hundreds of dealrrs say the extra
quantity and superior quality of De-
fiance Starch Is fast taking place of
all othpr brands. Others say they can-
not sell any other starch.
The Halo and the Straw Hat.
An inventory clerk of a large Lon-
don firm was put on to catalogue some
pictures for sale. One represented
a saint with halo complete. He en-
tered it as "Portrait of elderly gentlo-
man in straw hat."
Many Children Are Sickly.
Mother Gray's.SweotPowdorsforChildren,
used by Mother Gray, a nurse in Children's
Home, Now York, euro Summer Complaint,
Foverishness,Headache,Stomach Troubles,
Teething Disorders and Destroy Worms. At
all Druggists', 25c. Sample mailed FREE.
Address Allen S. Olmsted, Le Roy, N. Y.
Cyclist Tells Fish Story.
A veracious cyclist tells how a
swarm of bees settled on his body
while out cycling. He kept quite cool
and rode slowly until his lively com-
panions flew off. In this way he es-
caped without a single puncture.
Reflections of a Spinster.
When a man loses his collar button
under the bureau, and then kicks the
cat and swears just horribly, his wife
feels sure that she is only just be-
ginning to know his true character.—
Baltimore American.
Steam Turbin for Pumps.
The steam turbin principle has been
adapted to a centrifugal high-pressure
pump. The action is reversed, howev-
er, the water entering at what would
be the exhaust end, gradually accel-
erating as it passes through the sev-
eral fixed and movable vanes, until it
acquires a high velocity at what would
ordinarily be tho outlet end.
The Known Stallion.
A prepotent stallion of merit is of
great value to a neighborhood. Often
however, the stallion's real work Is
not realized till be has died or been
sold. A record of the performances of
stallions if kept and studied would
prove of great value. The man that
a stallion that is unable to pro-
duco many and good colts generally
likes to keep that fact to himself if
he finds it out, and the farmers in the
vicinity take no trouble to prevent him
keeping the matter secret. Thus _
poor stallion frequently proves to be a
successful competitor - ith a much
more valuable stallion. Old stallions
are sometimes among the most useful,
and they have the advantago in that
their progeny can be known. We have
heard of stallions being repeatedly
sold and sent from place to place, do
ing good work in each locality,' but
the farmers not finding it out till the
stallion had been disposed of and
removed beyond their reach. Too lit-
tle importance is put on the prepo-
tency of the stallion and too little ef-
fort is made to find out what each
stallion is worth as a breeder.
Ups and Downs in Prices.
In farm stock as in all other things
that are not governed by trusts and
combines there are ups and downs in
prices. Just now certain kinds of
farm stock are down a little, includ-
ing sheep and pedigreed cattle. The
time for the farmer to buy foundation
stock is when it is low and there is
little interest in the breed. Every
one wants to buy when things are
booming, and that is just the time
when buying is least profitable. The
most successful farmer is the one
that can figure out the course of prices
a long way in advance and take ad-
vantage of the depressions. A big
eastern financier was once asked how
he got rich. He replied, "By fishing
against the stream." He meant that
he bought when other people were
discouraged and seiling and sold when
things in one particular line were
booming. The low prices are particu-
larly advantageous to the men with
small capital.
The clay hills neea to be drained
as certainly as do the low lands.
The Cause of Sleep.
The man who is kept awake by
pain, or suffers in any other way
from lack of sleep, can usually obtain
it by the use of a drug. Such sleep,
however, is generally regarded as un-
natural, and hypnotic drugs are
avoided when possible. But now comes
Mr. Raphael DuBois, a French physi-
ologist, who tells us that all sleep is
the result of drugging, the sleep-pro-
ducer being carbonic-acid formed
witliiu the syetem.
AS EASY
Needs Only a Little Thinking.
The food of childhood often decides
whether one is to grow up well nour-
ished and healthy or weak and sick-
ly from improper food.
It's just as easy to be one as the
Other provided we get a proper start.
A wise physician like the Denver
Doctor who knew about food, can ac-
complish wonders provided the pa-
tient is willing to help and will eat
only proper food.
Speaking of this case the Mother
said her little four year old boy was
suffering from a peculiar derangement
of the stomach, liver and kidneys and
his feet became so swollen he couldn't
take a step. "We called a Doctor who
said at once we must be very careful
as to his diet as improper food was
the only cause of his sickness. Sugar
especially, he forbid.
'So the Dr. made up a diet and the
principal food he prescribed was
Grape-Nuts and the boy, who was very
fond of sweet things took the Grape-
Nuts readily without adding any
sugar. (Dr. explained that the sweet
in Grape-Nuts is not at all like cane
or beet sugar but is the natural sweet
of the grains.)
Wo saw big improvement inside a
tew days and now Grape-Nuts are al-
most his only food and he Is once
more a healthy, happy, rosy-cheeked
youngster with every prospect to
grow up into a strong healthy man."
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek, Mich.
The sweet of Grape-Nuts is the Na-
ture-sweet known as Post Sugar, not
digested in the liver like ordinary
sugar, but pre-digested. Feed tha
youngsters a handful of Grape-Nuts
when Nat) re demands sweet and
prompts thtm to call for sugar.
There's a reason.
Oet tlut 11 ttle book "The Road
,W«UrtUr Id each pkg.
to
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Peters, S. H. Garber Sentinel. (Garber, Okla.), Vol. 5, No. 46, Ed. 1 Thursday, September 8, 1904, newspaper, September 8, 1904; Garber, Oklahoma. (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc143606/m1/3/: accessed April 25, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.