Edmond Enterprise and Oklahoma County News. (Edmond, Okla.), Vol. 1, No. 47, Ed. 1 Thursday, December 24, 1903 Page: 3 of 18
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Copyright, 1903, by The Associated Publishers' Corporation, Chicago, III.
lYIl? Struck James Whitcomb Riley?
With an Acco u 11 t
Watermellon "Habit:"
Abandonment
Less Truthfully
THE REVEREND EZEKIL LOUDMOUTH
in order that the reader may till- i the value of peaches as both a lttcious
ratmifl fllllv t V) n ol-nntc lnmlfnn- tin
risin'?' S'e: 'No Reverent; ain't it
orl'ttl?' S I: 'Yes, an' I don't 'pose to
pay it!' S'e: 'Whut you goin' to do?
We mus' hab milluns to eat!'
S'l: 'Br'er Riley, (ley's lots o" fahms
'roun' liyeah, an' on deni fahms dey's
heaps o' milluns; an' de fahmahs 'ud
be willin' to donate 'em to you mose
any night you'll tome arter 'em—
'vidin' dey cain't ketch you.' .S'l:
'I'm goin' out to try ma luck to-night,
an' I called 'rotin' to see f you'd go
wld me. S'l: 'Fo'tv cents fob a watah
millun is a outrage!'
"Went back dat eb'nin'—as God
would hab it
hid down 'side de railroad track to tote
home wid mo. Went tip to a stump, 1
did, an' 1 brought a millun down 'cross
it"—'bam!' An' de slump jumped up
an' tuck arter me! An' I thought I
hyeah'd a gun go off—'bud-du-ee!
S'i: 'Pah! bress God, (le fahmah's
comin' arter me!' An' 1 spread ma
wings an' flew! S'l: 'Br'er Riley, do
de lies' you kin foil yo' se'f! De Bible
say: "Flee f'om de wraff to come!"'
An' by dat time I had done gone a
mile, an' had los' coat, shoes, an' hat.
I made fob one o' ma membahs'
houses, on de outskirts o' de town, an'
derstand fully the events leading up
to the misadventures herein set forth,
a brief sketch of the author is neces-
sary.
The Reverend Ezekil Loudmouth
had been the pastor of !i colored
church in Indianapolis but owing to
his inability to recognize the differ-
ence between the debit and credit side
of the church's collection accounts
was deposed; and drifting to Chicago
had so effectually "baclc-slidded" that
the sole remains of his ministerial
life appeared in bis costume and the
unctious rse of large and inappro-
priate words.
The Reverend E;:ekil spent most of
his wakin; hours in the various re-
sorts where the gentlemen of his
color most do congregate, taking such
i^ilts as the Fates might send in the
way of refreshment, and volubly
thanking '.he "Lo'd" for the drops and
crumbs which fell to liis share.
Naturally the fare in both forms
being of an uncertain quality, the
times of famine were in an inverse
ratio to the times of plenty and in
consequence the talk of feasts to come
occupied more hours than their con-
sumption. On this particular occa
sion the conversation had turned on
and nutritious diet, whereat the Rev.
Ezekil took the floor.
"I don't keer how high a dahkey
de street—splittin' Injunap'lis wide
open! Riley had a so t o' hop-light-lady
step, an' I wuz a-doin' de Mobile buck.
. ! "Cah'd me out, he did, about fo'
white folks he tries to aek, he'll come m>'es f'm town, an' stopped right in
right hack to his natch'ul se'f, ef you f''orit uv a big ole fahm whah you
shet im up in a room alone wid a | c01l!d hyeah (le milluns jes' a-laughin'
watah millun. An' de white folks I an' a-taikin' an' a-snigglin' in dey
laks watah millun, too! d you .aiow | s'c'bes. lak dey wuz goin' to buss open,
it? 'Deed dey does! Dey ain't no "'Now,' sez Riley, 'dig ole feller
niggah problem" when it comes to ! iiere raises de lies' milluns in de state;
watah millun! W'y, when I wuz pas- j but he keeps a mean dog, an' dey say
tab tiv a little ehu'eh in Injunap'lis, j he watches his patch o' rights wid a
me n .leems Whiteomb Rilev eat many i shotgun. I don' know how true 't is.
a good ole millun together! All' Riley J "S'l: We'll go whah dey's de bes'
sho' kin eat! W'y, ef you wuz to set milluns, an' take de chances!' S'l:
im down niungst a passel o' dahkies, I I'm done walked too fur to back wa-
nn' put 'em all to eatin' millun, you j tah now!' S'l: 'I'm a ole hrn' at dis
couldn't tell f'om 'zaminin' de rines.| business— fuller me, an' you'll wa'h
which wuz Rileys an' which wuz de j diamon's.' An' s'l: 'L'es' keep close
together; so's we won't take one
nother fur de man." S'e: ''Greed!'
"Well, arter we'd bin in dab a while,
■in Riley say: \\ ait tel | I fell in de do', an' s'l: 'Come an' git
I git ma hat.' An' off we put—down j me!" An' I fainted
cullud folks'! •
"Went to his house one day, I did
(great, big, square house made outen
ted brick—stall's on Lockerb.v Street.
I knows right, whah it is—bin dab
mo' times den I got fingers an' toes),
an' 1 rung de do' bell, an' sen's in
Vio'd at I wants to see Riley on
po tant business. Putty soon down
he come f'om his study. S'l: Bre'r
Ri!ey, does you know milluns has
gone up to fo'ty cents, an' still a-
an' didn't see ner hyeah nothin', we
got bol'; an' raised up aiV went to
walkin' 'roun' dah, lak we owned de
place ('ca'se me wanted de bes' mil-
luns in de patch)—an' I swah we got
los' f'om one 'notlier. But we wuz
dast to boiler. Made up' ma mine to
tase a piece o' millun, den fine Riley
'u' g" home—already had a sackful
plum' away.
"Ma membali tuck me in an' put
me to bed, an' nex' mo'nin' he lent me
a suit o' his clothes to go home in—
I'd done fixed up a ghose story, an
tole 'im. On my way home, I stopped
at Riley's house—see how he come
out. An' dey tole me he wins sick in
bed. 'W'y, ain't you hyera it?' se?
dey. An' dey showed me whah d
papahs said he'd bin hit in de head
an' helt up an' robbed! S'l: 'Ain't dai
a shame!—nice a man as he is!' An' I
went in whah he wuz, an' s'l: 'Fr'en
Riley, wbut's de mattah?' S'e: 'Mai
tah?—matttah? W'y, Rev'unt, I didn'i
thaink you'd do me that-a-way!' S'l
'Whut'd I do?' 'Do?' sez he, 'do? W'y
you broke a watahmillun ovah nu-
head! 'At's whut you done!' S'e
'Ma head liu't me so I could halidly gi
to town. Don' 'speck I kin write non
foh a week.' S'e: 'I wouldn't mine it
so; but. de millun wuz green!' An' h«
alius acted col' to'ahds me arter dat
But I ain't got nothin' 'g'inst watah
millun, all de same."
J. D. CORROTHERS.
Copyright, 1902, Funk & Wagnall
Co., New York.
ADMIRES THE AMERICA* GIRL.
Famous Tenor Like* the New York
Damsel, But Wait Till He Comei
West.
Enrico Caruso, not yet thirty years
of age, is the tenor of the year—the
one person whom all the lovers of
grand opera want to see and to hear.
From the moment of his appearance
at New York he has been idolized by
the press and public. In an interview
In the New York World he tells what
he thinks of the New York girl.
"I admire thom," be said, "because
they are so different froin the Euro-
pean type; they look so healthy, beau-
tiful and independent, ant', not afraid
of anything; They look you straight
In the eyes like men. They seem to
be a race apart."
"But what struck you most forcibly
in their makeup?"
"Well"—and here hts laughed as
ho looked at Mme. Caruso—"I ride
very often in a carriage with my wife
and every moment I point out to ber
somo woman with a remarkable hat.
"I think the American women have
a great deal of Imagination and they
exercise it particularly in the choice
of their hats. Most of them are very
tasteful. Others are the exagerated
type of certain fashions. But they
wear them with dash and carry them
as if challenging the world to do the
same.
African Chieftain.
.Ajvu'^r.
The Suk warriors are not hampered
In their movements by extra raiment,
their principal garment being the
cape peculiar to their tribe.
Boy of Thirteen an Editor.
Harold G. Bonekemper, aged thir-
teen years, of North Bethlehem, Pa.,
has started a newspaper, which is
devoted to the interests of hia home
town. Harold is the eldest of a fam-
ily of seven children. His father is a
carpenter. To earn money to assist
the family Harold sold soap until he
obtained a printing press and type as
a premium. Then he solicited adver-
tisements and gathered the local news
and finally, assuming the role of print-
er, superintended the printing of the
paper, which he calls the North Beth-
lehem News.
Sacred to Many Memories.
In the cemetery at Plattsburg, this
state, there stands a Scotch granite
staff with the following inscription:
Be sure of the effect before wasting
your tine in searching for the cause.
ALLEN MOORE.
SUSAN G.,
First Wife, Died
Feb. 12, 1846. Aged 23.
Buried at Niles, Mich.
PHILURA E.,
Second Wife. Died
Nov. 19, 18G1. Aged 37.
LOUISA W..
Third Wife, Died
Dec. 13, 1872. Aged 46.
SARAH M. E.,
Fourth Wife. Died
Dec. 17, 1877. Aged 00.
Buried at Peru, N. Y.
SALLJE S.,
Fifth Wife. Died
May 31, 1887. Aged >',G.
Burled at Hartford, Ct.
J
And Allen Moore himself has since
gone to the land of ghosts, at the age
of almost 90 years.
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Edmond Enterprise and Oklahoma County News. (Edmond, Okla.), Vol. 1, No. 47, Ed. 1 Thursday, December 24, 1903, newspaper, December 24, 1903; Edmond, Oklahoma. (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc140145/m1/3/: accessed March 29, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.