The Davis News (Davis, Okla.), Vol. 15, No. 9, Ed. 1 Thursday, October 15, 1908 Page: 2 of 8
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THE DAVIS NEWS.
By FAY L. CROSSETT.
Claim to a Title.
The slang phrase, "a good mixer," j
has a peculiar meaning when applied ,
to a man. It seems never to have i
been used as descriptive of women. (
Hut why not? Some women might j
wear the title with distinction, al- |
1 hough in a little different sense, j
For generations women have been en- I
gaged in "mixing" reluctant elements, j
Flour and butter in their hands have
combined Into flaky biscuit; and un- j
congenial cousins have made up an
agreeable family party. A woman at |
th«* head of a large household has j
need to be a good mixer, says the |
Youth's Companion. She may have
lb*-ee generations under her roof and
dependent upon her care. With the
^children she must be as a child; with
*he grandmother she must see the
wisdom of age, even beneath its
feebleness; for the willful son she
must mingle ready sympathy and firm
control. Woman's service in village
or church is often that of welding to-
gether obstinate and diverse elements.
For there must be no Democrats or
Republicans, no Methodists or Cath-
olics, when she has in hand some
measure for the common good. The
chade trees in a certain village are a
growing memorial to a certain woman
who got the Second Adventists and
-v.*he Congregationalists together, and
I#
"CON GAME
AND
DIPLOMACY
They Are Identical in
Politics, Says Expert.
'By Ernest McGaffey
How It Feels to Be
Secretary to the Mayor
of a Great Municipality.
*"iir
AFTER a stay of two years on
the Hoard of Local Improve-
ments 1 was transferred, and,
as I considered, promoted to
the position of mayor's secretary.
Many men can fill a position on
the board of local improvements
fairly acceptably, and there is often
at least one strictly ornamental mem-
ber on every public board, but as for
a good secretary, that is another
story. The selection of appointees
for the various fair-salaried positions
is governed to a great extent by both
fitness and politics in municipal of-
fices, and as civil service reform had
curtailed the mayor's appointing pow-
ers to a comparative handful of offices,
there was keen competition for the
"plums," so-called. But when it came
to the appointing of a secretary it was
"hands off.
If a man sought the place, that was
To make as many friends as possible
for his chief, and as few enemies, in
his dealings with the politicians and
the public, is naturally one of the es-
sentials in "holding down" this job.
And it goes without saying that, all
men like to be treated with courtesy.
Enemies can easily be made by a
rough and discourteous manner, and
even by impatience and indifference.
Especially is this true among the poli-
ticians. Every man who comes to a
mayor's office on political business
either has, or imagines he has, a cer-
tain amount of influence. If he is met
with a churlish reception he does not
easily forget it, and may carry the
memory of his visit clear into the next
convention. It is not in the least nec-
essary nor advisable to "kotow" to
any man; but a cheerful and polite
greeting is just the kind of a gr< eting
which any man prefers, and if you fol-
low that rule strictly it is a winner in
the end. Of course, your politeness
may be thrown away entirely on some
people, but an undeviating and sin-
cere courtesy will in the long run
make friends for your chief and your-
aet thora In pairs to digging the same ; enough to kill his chances; if delega-
, i _ Anrm tions went in to intercede for him
holes, instead of working on oppo- . ^ ^ ^ inJurlng hu challces.
Bite sides of the street. She was a ; ]t wag & 1)0g|li0Ilf an(1 is always a po-
good mixer herself, and, like all or gitj()n w|1jcjl the mayor of a large city
that brotherhood, she was the cause ^ strlct personal preference. The
that good mixing should be in others, i secretary must be a man in whom his
In this world of strife and misunder- | chief has confidence, and he is usual-
standings and petty frictions, the j lv selected from the ranks of the
rarest and dearest of her sex is the newspaper men. To begin with lie
a smile on ought to be a perfect artist in diplo-
woman who goes her way
her lips and a gently persuasive spoon
in hand—measuring and mingling con-
trary tastes and dispositions and am-
macy. In great affairs of state a first-
class diplomat is called a genius;" in
lesser circles, and especially in poli-
tics, "a con man." But to be entirely
bitions, and adding to the combina- honest about it, there is no difference
tion that subtle one-knows-not-what of except in the terms.
personality which is the crowning | Now a 16 years' experience In the
grace of a good mixer. law business had fitted me peculiarly
- | well for this end of the job. I could
look a man or a delegation squarely in
racing ! the eye and say that the mayor was
A'A'*
1
The New Shamrock.
Sir Thomas Upton's new - ,
■racht Shamrock has been successfully I not in his office, when he was busy
launched and is now being fitted out j
and could not be disturbed, and make
_ . them believe it. Every once in awhile
in the Solent for the season s co - J ^ d|d te]J thg truthi just t0 keep my
petitions. She is longer than last j hand )n as tQ verac|(yi but if the oc-
year's champion, White Heather, and ; ras|on demanded I could invent with
Is a good deal fuller in the midship | ease and grace of a nature faker,
section class. More striking, still, j To be frank, I always preferred to
however, is the manner in which the tell the truth. Not because I claim to
lines of the yacht are stretched out. be more naturally truthful than other
Instead of the comparatively short,! men, but because the truth is much
rounded ends of White Heather-a de-1 j^pler and does not need corrobora-
velopment which was probably caused j ™here ^ many varletiea ot di.
by the operation of the new rule of rat- ^ pjomaCy necessary in my daily deal-
ing—Shamrock is drawn Ait in long, lnga wltll the public. There was the
graceful overhangs. The modeling abrupt style, suitable to some one
of the counter is particularly hand- who wanted a railroad pass, for in-
come The beam is carried aft well stance, which I happened to know was
into the counter, and, as this is bal-! not obtainable; the persuasive and ex
anced with good and fairly full shoul-
ders. it is apparent that this vessel
will have at least one of the elements
which helped Reliance to success-
planatory style to the delegation
which wanted to see the mayor about
something which I had orders to see
was not intruded on him at that espe-
cial moment; the sympathetic varie-
i. e., a long sailing side when hard ^ ty> the scornful species, the diplomacy
driven, although it goes practically un
taxed in the measurement. The free
board looks more than was expected,
but the unfamiliar appearance of the
green top sides with the white boot-
top under may make this something
of an optical delusion. At all events,
I here is no bulwark to increase the
lieight of topside, the only foothold
for the crew being a light rail set
well in on the deck. From the out-
ward appearance, the yacht is in all
respects a racer of the thoroughbred
type, and should give a good account
of herself when pitted against other
-vessels in the big class.
Kindly and Pityingly to the Office of
the Chief of Police.
self, where a "high and mighty" at-
titude will lose friends for the man
who put you where you are.
It is highly essential that a secre-
tary should have the common sense
not to be "stuck on himself" or on his
position. No one on earth will sense
this quicker than the politicians, and
no one will resent it and treat it with
contempt any more readily. To begin
with, there are some angles of the
job which a three-dollar-a-week office
boy could attend to with perfect
ease. To sit in a revolving chair :md
say "the mayor isn't in" or "the
mayor's in. but he's busy just now'
does not require a very massive Intel
lect. But when it comes to the finer
the mayor at once; Rockefeller and
Carnegie are in a conspiracy to rob me
of $40,000,000 worth of stocks and
bonds. The delay of a single hour will
ruin me."
"Alas, poor soul possessed." There
was nothing to do but to acquiesce in
her distorted dream and take her kind-
ly and pityingly to the office of the
chief of police and place her in cus-
tody until it was ascertained who her
people were.
There were always a number of
women callers, and to their credit it
can be said that they were the most
persistent and ingenious of visitors.
Of course, it was necessary to defer
to them with the utmost care, unless
they were entirely crazy. Sometimes
the outside room, a huge affair, would
be crowded to the doors by a swarm
of delegations and by a horde of in-
dividuals who were bound to get in-
side. To handle a crowd like that
and to get order out of confusion was
no small job for the office force, con-
sisting of myself, the police officer at
the door, the stenographer and the
bridewell clerk. The bridewell clerk,
by the way, had about seven different
positions to fill, and he filled them
well. The officer, during my time, was
a man of strength and discretion. The
stenographer, however, a civil service
appointee, sent in to fill the place of
the regular stenographer who was ap-
pointed a justice of the peace, was not
a "star" at handling a crowd. If you
ever get into politics you will find out
what "civil service" sometimes means.
Day in and day out the politicians
came in. Many of them alderman,
coming in to consult on prospective
ordinances, or on city business of va-
rious kinds. Some of them ex-alder-
men, some members of the legislature.
From 11 until 1 each day, excepting
Monday and Saturday, the doors were
open to the public, and never such a
motley throng poured in as did then.
Children who wanted to get dogs out
of the pound; women who were seek-
ing to have husbands or relatives par
doned from the bridewell; men after
jobs; aldermen after special privi-
leges or in on city matters; all sort?
and conditions of people, by singles
by twos, threes, delegations, mobs,
they churned in and out of the office
and the air was thick with the scent
of tobacco and the varying dialects
and patois of the different national!
ties.
Before this hour the newspaper
men had their "innings." An hour,
usually from 10 to 11, was given them
I believe I got along farily well with
the newspaper boys. 1 never gave out
any news to any of them which they
had not previously been informed of,
and certainly "played no favorites."
They were there to get the news, and
if possible get "scoops" for their vari
ous papers. All they cared for was
to get an "even start," and I never by
any hint nor inference interfered with
their getting "away" together. And
not once during my time did any news
paper man ask me to give him any ad-
vantage over any others of the clan,
although a "scoop" over the rest al-
ways filled their souls with joy.
It was not absent by reason of sick-
ness during my term as secretary, and
looking back at the job, with unim-
passioned eyes, I believe I nfcde a
good secretary. The only real "break"
I can think of, was once when I was
noints of the game, when it comes to. .... ,
the gradations where a "man must '"Id to keep all Inquirers awayfrom
be sent to mill," then let the secretary
and do it without any
Edelweiss, "the fatal bloom," ha al-
most disappeared from the Mont Blanc
range in Switzerland, and an Irish
nobleman, who is an expert mountain
climber, Is now engaged for the sec-
ond summer in planting the flower at
the highest altitudes he can reach.
The self-imposed task, although it
cvinces a pleasing sentiment, does no-
body any particular good. If influen-
tial men of leisure would apply their
enthusiasm to the work of reforest-
ing barren places at home, there would
be a different story to tell.
^^2
y/rm
Office
Three-Dollar-a-Week
Could Attend to It.
A Queensland judge has decided
*hat oysters are wild beasts. A man
Jn the nearl industry had 100,000 oy- ... , , „ ....
an ui« peon which was a verbal cross-counter to
sters in the shell spread out a • gome taje which was being handed
day island and some Japs stole them. me etc
The court solemnly held that both oy- , qj. course was n0( imperative that
Hters and pearls are wild animals, for j should give out a steady stream of
the stealing of which there is no pen- diplomacy all the time, but when
alty. The judge should lose no time bluntness would have made an enemy
1n telling the world how he classifies I am happy to say that my talent for
terrauln ' "diplomacy," coupled with long legal
i experience, enabled me to do reason-
: ably well in that branch of my work,
As the richest town in the world,
Hrookline ought to be ashamed to
have allowed a historic elm tree, said
to be the largest tree in that town,
All work, if a man tackles it, whether
washing dishes or shaking dice for a
universe, ought to be done in a whole-
souled and enthusiastic manner. And
1o which George Washington used to i can say truthfully that I brought to
bitch his horse, to be destroyed by : this absolutely necessary art in my
the elm-leaf beetle.
The wild tribesmen who are "pro-
tecting" the shah are more exacting
than the reformers, it seems. Soon
autocrats will have no refuge any-
where. and the safest thing for them
will be constitutional rule.
We have had the book "Three Acres
and Liberty." The president asks, in
behalf of the farmer, for 160 acres
and comfort, variety and happiness.
Uncle Sam understands, of course,
that he will be expected to do a lot of
flint-class naval entertaining in re-
turn.
A Russian grand duke has lost his
Job. It is probable, however, that his
income will suffer no diminution.
position a frank and open manner, a
sincerity of voice and an unwinking
look from the eyes, that ethically was
almost as genuine as nature itself, and
practically much more effective than
sarcasm or cold facts would have ever
dared to be.
A8 1 looked at the place, I was there
to do my chief the utmost good I
could, and the only conscientious feel-
ing I had in the matter was to do just
that very thing. 1 hewed to that line,
and wherever the chips flew I had and
have no slightest savor of remorse.
A secretary who told the truth all the
time would be about as useful as a
lighted candle in a powder magazine
The only man he needs to tell the
stark truth to is his chief; as for the
rest of the world, when it was ad
visable to tell them the truth they got
it; when it was necessary to ladle
them out "diplomacy" that was what
they received.
"make good
flourishes.
I certainly took a keen interest in
my position. No finer place in the
world to study human nature than
there. All day long there was the
constant influx of men. women and
children to "see the mayor," to "speak
with his honor," and with about 40 or
50 nationalities to choose from, and
with all grades and kinds of these dif-
ferent races to meet, it was a study in
mankind which was not attainable in
any other position save in that of the
mayoralty itself.
A secretary in this position ought to
be a fair speaker, for it may be that
his chief will be busy when some dele-
gation from an outside city must be
met and welcomed, and the secretary
ought to be able to represent the
mayor with some decent amount of
ability. He ought to be a writer of
some force, also, for some of the
mayor's mail is turned over to him to
answer, and he should be able to han-
dle all correspondence turned over to
him in an acceptable manner. He
ought to have some knowledge of hu-
man nature, and he should be pos-
sessed of an iron constitution physic-
ally. for the wear and tear outside the
door is one which will send a frail
man to the hospitals.
Part of the time he may find that
he can sit in his chair and take it
easy. But that is only a very brief
experience. And as for patience, he
ought to be able to give Job a 40-yard
handicap and a running start and then
beat the patriarch in a walk. The most
sanguinely ridiculous propositions will
be handed up to him that were ever
dreamed of, and he must consider
these, and not lose his temper, even
though he knows they must be ruth-
lessly "turned down."
And then there are the "cranks" and
the absolute maniacs to contend
with besides. There are many de-
partments in a city hall, and yet the
average citizen rushes to the mayor's
office if he finds anything amiss in the
district he lives in. For instance, a
dead animal may be lying in the
streets, and some wrathy citizen
posts to the mayor's office, presumably
to have the mayor come out and take
it away. A little pleasant questioning
reveals the object of his visit. He is
most politely informed that the matter
is one for the health department, and
he can be escorted personally to that
department or a note given him for
use there, and he can be very fairly
commended for his public spirit, and
sent away feeling that the matter will
be looked after and that he has re-
ceived fair treatment. Isn't that bet-
ter than saying: "Ah! G'wan, you lob-
ster, don't you know enough to go to
the health department with that?"
As for the men and women who are
actually crazy, nothing but diplomacy
with them. I remember one day while
I was particularly busy with some-
thing which had been intrusted to me
by my chief, and was carefully map-
ping out ray action with pen and ink,
that I was suddenly surprised by the
apparition of a richly-dressed woman
who sat down in a chair close beside
me and began hurriedly; "I must see
the chief's residence while he was get
ting out his annual message to the
city council. A man from the east
called and presented a card as one
of the supreme judges of an eastern
state. He backed this up by docu-
ments proving his claim. He wanted
to see the mayor on a matter so im-
portant that it could not possibly wait.
For once I weakened. The bridewell
clerk was going up to the house and
I sent this caller along. He was
dressed like a duke. He was a most
imposing-looking specimen of a man.
and his manners had Lord Chesterfield
going "east by south." And when he
reached the house if he wasn't a book
agent, then I hope to perish. And at
that, he was all he claimed to be! And
if that wouldn't send a man hiking to
the "nut and bolt factory" then I don't
know what would! When I introduced
the next secretary of the mayor who
followed my chief into office to the
heads of the various departments in
the city hall they all had a good word
for the way in which I had handled
the job. As "the bunk" under such
circumstances would have been a
waste of raw material, I am under the
impression, that without setting the
Chicago river on fire, I had "held up
my end of the log."
ERNEST M'GAFFEY.
(Copyright, 190S, by Joseph B. Bowles.)
VNNY
THEY'RE BACK.
Well, they are bark,
And glad 1 am.
It's good to hear
The screen door slan
It's mighty sweet
To hear them about.
While they are
Romping In and out.
And in that chair,
Where oft 1 nap.
It's good to note
lie's tossed his cap.
The house was. oh,
So neat and still!
No linger marks
On window sill.
No mud stains
On the kitchen floor;
1 fairly yearned
To hear them ronr.
But they are back,
And once again
Their toys are
lettering my den.
Two Teddy bears,
A train of cars
Are on the shelf
With my cigars.
A doll is sleeping
In my chair;
While building blocks
Are every where.
Tin soldiers waiting
To attack
I'pc
, the flo,
Now bivouac.
And snuggled In
My couch to-night
1 found, when I
Turned tip the light.
A curly headed
Preference.
Though I send Priscilla violets
And other flowers, many,
I'd rather send her those of speech-*
They do not cost a penny.
CAPSIZED.
Bo
asleep.
With a doting smack,
And thanked the Lord
The kids were back.
-Detroit Free Press.
THE NEW GUIDE TO PROSPERITY.
THE SAFE WAY TO BUY PAINT.
Property owners will save a deals
of trouble and expense in keeping
their buildings properly painted, it
they know how to protect themselves
against misrepresentation and adul-
teration in paint materials. There s
one sure and safe guide to a pure and
thoroughly dependable White Lead—
that's the "Dutch Boy Painter" trade
mark which the National Lead Com-
pany, the largest makers of genuine
White Lead, place on every package
j of their product. This company sends
I a simple and sure little outfit for test*
| ing white lead, and a valuable paint
book, free, to all who write for it.
j Their address is Woodbridge Bldg.,
i New York City.
A Timely Air.
During one of the political tours of
i Mr. Cleveland, in which he was ac~
i companied by Secretary Olney, he ar-
rived during a severe storm at a town
j in which he was to speak. As he en-
' tered the carriage with his friends
' and was driven from the station the
! rain changed to hail, and immense'
stones battered and rattled against
the vehicle. A brass band, rather de-
moralized by the storm, stuck bravely
to its post and played.
"That is the most realistic music I
have ever heard," remarked the presi-
dent.
"What are they playing?" asked the-
secretary of state.
" 'Hail to the Chief'—with real hail!"'
rejoined Mr. Cleveland.
She—What book has helped you
most in your career, Mr. Splosh?
Millionaire—My wife's first cookery
book. You see, 1 got so that I'd sooner
work than eat, and the habit has
clung to me.
Edwin—I once tried to kiss a pretty
girl in a canoe.
Edna—Did you get a turn down?
Edwin—No, over.—Chicago Daily
News.
A Friendly Tip.
"My dear boy." said Enpeck, who
happened to be in a confidential
mood, "you will never know what real
happiness is until you get married."
"You don't mean it!" exclaimed
Singleton, astonished at such a re-
mark from such a source.
"It's a fact," rejoined Enpeck, "but
then it will be too late for you to ap-
preciate it."—Chicago Daily News.
Corrected.
Redd—Been frog hunting?
Greene—Yes.
"How are the frogs running this
season?"
"They're not running this seasop.
they're jumping same as any other
season."—Yonkers Statesman. (
Man and Beast Alike.
j Only those who have suffered the-
agony of eye afflictions can appreciate
the blessing to humanity in Dr. Mitcli-
: ell's famous Eye Salve. Introduced in
j this region as far back as 1849 it is-
round to-day in all well regulated
homes hereabouts. Not alone the eyes
of man but those of the dumb animals
have enjoyed its comforts. Mitchell's
Eye Salve. Sold everywhere. Price 25c,
Undaunted by Blindness.
Prof. E. D. Campbell, director of the-
chemical laboratories in the Univer-
sity of Michigan, lost his sight 18
years ago through an accident. In
spite of his affliction he has taken a
high place in education and has made
original researches of much value, es-
pecially in the chemistry of iron and
cement.
The Two Versions.
At a dinner during the recent Epis-
copal convention at Richmond a young
lady sitting near the bishop of London
said to him:
"Bishop, I wish you would set my
mind at rest as to the similarity or
dissimilarity between your country
and ours on one point. Does the but-
terfly because the tomato can?"
The bishop laughed heartily at this
vivacious sally. Not so a young Eng-
lishman of his party, who, after din-
ner, sought his host.
"I want to know, you know," said
he, "about that joke of Miss B—'s.
She asked if the butter flew because
tomatoes could. Pray tell me what
the point is."—Lippincott's Magazine.
PREHISTORIC LOVE TRAGEDY.
As Defined.
Pat—Oi saw in th' pa per somethln'
about a felly thot wor afther bein'
blase. Phwat's th' meanin' of blase,
Oi dunno?
Mike—Blase do be th' feelin' thot
comes t' a man afther he gits so lazy
thot loafin' is hard wor-ruk, Oi'm think-
in'.—Chicago Daily News.
How to Be Happy, Though Rich.
Having made your family happy,
your servants happy, Hodge happy,
you have a right to all the appliances
of wealth to make yourself happy;
but you must always do this in such a
way that you do not render others
unhappy. If you enjoy motoring, have
your motor built, but stipulate that
the workmen who build it shall be
paid properly. If you prefer horses,
buy the best you can, and get the
best people to look after them, people
who are kind and understand animals.
If you see any one on your estate un-
necessarily cruel to an animal or a
little child, cast him out until he shall
have learned the lessons of humanity.
When you have become a millionaire,
you must, first of all, learn never to
blend your pleasure or your pride
with sorrow of the meanest thing that
lives. Then you can go ahead by mak-
ing all the things which you wish for
your own happiness a source of hap-
piness to those who produce them.
That is Xo say, although you are a
millionaire, you must remember that
it is but for a time. All this money
is yours for a little while only. It
can purchase happiness if rightly ap-
plied; if wrongly applied, it can be
made a cause of misery to yourself
and every one around you.—O. B. Bur-
gin, in London P. T. O.
Our Recent Education.
"You can win in a walk," said the
campaign manager, enthusiastically.
"Public sentiment would never be
satisfied with anything so sedate and
orderly," answered the candidate.
"Can't you arrange for me to win in a
horseback gallop, or something of that
kind."—Washington Star.
Evading the Issue.
Mrs. Lushington—And there you
were, at three o'clock in the morning,
hugging that cigar-store Indian.
Mr. Lushington—Surely, my dear,
you are not jealous?—Judge.
Judged by Appearance.
Jones—He has a motor-car face.
Bones—He looks broken down, il
that's what you mean.—Half-Holiday
Seemed Foolhardy.
"Look here!" iaid the official,
"there'll be trouble if your wife dis-
regards us when we persistently tell
her she must not pick the flowers."
"Then,"' replied Mr. H. Peck—for it
was no other—"why ever do you per-
sist?"—Judge.
PLANT TRAMP BY INSTINCT.
California Cactus Blows Around the
Desert for Months.
Curious among vegetable growth*
and one which is seldom seen of men
is the rootless cactus of the California
desert, says the Techincal World.
This plant, a round, compact growth,
rolls about the level floor of the des-
ert for some eight or nine months of
the year, tossed hither and yon by
the winds which blow with fierceness
er all of California's sand plat dur-
ing those months.
At the coming of the rains, or
rather the cloudbursts, which sweep
fhe desert *n its springtime, this cac-
tus takes root wherever it happens to
have been dropped by the last wind
of which it was the plaything and im-
mediately begins to put out all around
it small shoots, which in turn become
cacti, exactly like the parent plant.
These young growths increase in
size rapidly, sucking the moisture
both from the parent plant and from
the surrounding earth. The roots do
not penetrate the soil deeply, but
spread often over a circle whose
radius is not less than ten feet. These
roots, too, are small, but practically
innumerable, and they get every bit
of moisture and plant food to be had
in the territory they cover.
Returning His Love-Lettersl
Woeful Waste.
"Gee, hut it's hot!" cried Mr. Sizzer,
mopping his brow. "Where is
Tommy?"
"Out flying his kite," said Mrs. Siz
zer.
"Well, for goodness sake, tell him
to stop it!" roared Sizzer. "The idea
of using up what little breeze there in
on such nonsense!"—Judge.
"THE PALE GIRL."
Did Not Know Coffee Was the Cause,
Not 8o.
"Queer," muttered Uncle Rooster,
as he turned over the magazine's
pages of advertisements in a vain
search for the reading matter. "Ye'd
think that all these here automatic
planner playin* inventions would 'a'
guv our girls more time to help their
mothers with the housework. Yet
setch don't seem to be the case."
Profitable Municipal Markets.
The municipal markets of Man-
chester, England, are very profitable.
Spoiling Them.
Cupid—I'm going to quit it!
The Stork—Quit what?
Cupid—Oh, I have been laughing at
locksmiths for so long that the whole
tribe of them have begun to imagine
that they are humorists.—Puck.
Let Him Cross!
"Beware!" whispered the fortune-
teller; "your bitterest enemy will
shortly cross your path—"
"Hooray!" cried the man delight-
edly. "My new motor-car will mighty
soon settle his hash!"—Half-Holiday.
Worth Humoring.
Mr. Subberton (yelling to kitchen)—
Sawdust and milk crust! Adam and
Eve on a raft and wreck 'em! On the
canteloupe! Draw one! Make it
three all 'round!
Mr. Townley—Great,—e-e-r, how—
pardon me, old chap, but what's it all
about?
Mr. Subberton—'Sh! We've got a
former restaurant cook—a peach! —
and we have to order that way to
keep her on the job!—Puck.
As to Messes.
Newoome—We had a fine meBs of
fish for dinner, last night.
Subley—I haven't the slightest
doubt, old man—your cook once
jvprked for us!—Puck.
Brutality of Man.
Bilks—Come up and hear our new
minister to-day.
Nobbs—No, thanks; I heard him
once, and I have always regretted it.
Bilks—Why, 1 am sure you are mis-
taken.
Nobbs—Not a bit of it. He is the
minister who married us.—Half-Holi-
day.
College Yells.
"Say!" said the guest at a New
Haven hotel; "I never heard auch a
noise as those cats made last night!"
"Possibly not," replied the hotel
proprietor. "Those cats belong up to
the college!Yonkerj Statesman.
In cold weather some people think
a cup of hot coffee good to help keep
warm. So it is—for a short time but
the drug—caffeine—acts on the heart
to weaken the circulation and the re-
action is to cause more chilliness.
There is a hot wholesome drink
which a Dak. girl found after a time,
makes the blood warm and the heart
strong.
She says:
"Having lived for five years In N.
Dak., I have used considerable coffee
owing to the cold climate. As a re-
sult I had a dull headache regularly,
suffered from indigestion, and had no
'life' in me.
"I was known as 'the pale girl,* and
people thought I was just weakly.
After a time I had heart trouble and
became very nervous, never knew
what it was to be real well. Took med-
icine but it never seemed to do any
good.
"Since being married my husband
and I both have thought coffee toas
harming us and we would quit, only to
begin again, although we felt it was
the same as poison to us.
"Then we got some . Postum. Well,
the effect was really wonderful. My
complexion is clear now, headache
gone, and I have a great deal of en-
ergy I had never known while drink-
ing coffee.
"I haven't been troubled with Indi-
gestion since using Postum, am not
nervous, and need no medicine. We
have a little girl and boy who both
love Postum and thrive on it and
Grape-Nuts."
"There's a Reason."
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek, Mich. Read, "The Road to Well-
ville," in pkgs.
Ever read the above letter? A new
one appears from time to time. They
are genuine, true, and full of human
interest.
.CHICAGO. U. 5. A.
il 11Y 1
[,1a college aloug-
I lMiui
I class and prices t***
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The Davis News (Davis, Okla.), Vol. 15, No. 9, Ed. 1 Thursday, October 15, 1908, newspaper, October 15, 1908; Davis, Oklahoma. (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc139649/m1/2/: accessed April 23, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.