The Tulsa Chief. (Tulsa, Indian Terr.), Vol. 3, No. 37, Ed. 1 Tuesday, November 20, 1906 Page: 2 of 8
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TOO LATE.
“Professor -, 1 presume?" said
he
“Yes, sir."
“Are you alone?”
“Yes. sir."
“May 1 look the door?"
And he did so; then. having satis
fil'd himself thut no one else was In.
he placed a large bundle done up In
a yellow handkerchief on the table
and opened it.
“There, look at that."
“Well, said the professor, "1 see
It.”
“What do you call that, profes-
sor?"
“I call it Iron pyrites."
“What?" said the man, "isn’t that
gold?"
•No." said the professor; "It's good
for nothing It's pyrites."
And putting some in a shovel over
the lire, It soon evaporated up the
chimney.
“Well," said the gentlemanly man,
with a woebegone look, "there’H a
widow in our town has a whole hill
full of that, and I've been and mar-
ried her."
TOOK IT AS A PROPOSAL.
f
He (very fond of dogs)—Miss
White, don’t you think you ought to
have an intelligent animal about the
house that would protect you, and—
Site—Oh, Mr. Muffins, this is so sud-
den !
RUNNING BORES ON LIMBS.
Little Girl’s Obstinate Case of Eczema
—Mother Says: “Cuticura Reme-
dies a Household Standby."
“Last year, after having my little
girl treated by a very prominent
physician, for an obstinate case of
eczema, I resorted to the Cuticura
Remedies, and was so well pleased
with the almost Instantaneous relief
afforded that we discarded the physi-
cian's prescription and relied entirely
on the Cuticura Soap. Cuticura Oint-
ment, and Cuticura Pills. When we
commenced with the Cuticura Reme-
dies her feet and limbs were covered
with running sores. In about six
weeks we had her completely well,
and there has been no recurrence of
the trouble. We find that the Cuti-
cura Remedies are a valuable house-
hold standby, living as wo do, twelve
miles from a doctor, and where it
costs from twenty to twenty five dol-
lars to come up on the mountain.
Mrs. Lizzie Vincent Thomas, Fair-
mount. Walden’s Ridge, Tenn., Oct.
13, 1905.”
Each to His Own Trade.
A story Is told of a Scotch minister
who gave the rural Joiner an order to
make a small wooden cupboard.
When the pastor received the ac-
count he complained to tho Joiner
about the amount, and said he could
have got a second-hand cupboard,
which would have answered his pur-
pose equally well, at much less cost.
"Yes," retorted the Joiner; “and 1
could buy a gold sermon for three-
pence; but e’e wadna’ care aboot
preaching them at thut price! Stray
Stories.
A PUBLIC DUTY.
Statesmanship.
This statesmanship Is far from fan.
With doubt the wise men view It.
All know about what should he done,
Hut not Just how to do it.
— Washington Star.
An Angel.
Mrs. Mark©—Gracious! I never
saw so many soiled faces in my life.
Why don't you use some soap and wa-
ter?
Tommy TtifT—We are waitin' for
do angel, mum.
Mrs. Mark©—What angel?
Tommy Tuff—Why, tie lady tint
come fru here last week and give
one of do kids a ticket to wash his
face.—Chicago Daily News.
Montpelier, O., Man Feels Compelled
to Tell His Experience.
Joseph Wilgus, Montpelier, 0., says:
"I feel it my duty to tell others about
Doan's Kidney Pills.
KxpoBtire and driv-
ing brought kidney
trouble on me, and I
suffered much from
Irregular passages of
the kidney secre-
tions. Sometimes
there was retention
nnd at other times passages were too
frequent, especially at night. There
was pain and discoloration. Doan’s
Kidney Pills brought me relief from
the first, and soon Infused new life.
I give (hem my indorsement.”
Sold by all dealers. 50 cents n box.
Foster-.MIlburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
gr.ndl <
with PUTNAM FADELESS DYES, and
the colors are bright and fast.
The man who sows his life In the
furrows of human need will reap a
rich reward.—W. Smith. '
Don't It Jar You?
To have a cough that you can’t |
leave oft—even when you go to bed?
Put it away for good by using Sim-
mons’s Cough Syrup. It heals inflam-
mation of the throat and lungs—gives
you rest and peaceful sleep.
Honey From Spain end Germany.
There are 1,690,000 beehives, pro-
ducing 19,000 tons of honey, in Spain,
which is the second greatest producer
of honey in the world. Germany,
with 2,000,000 beehives, produces 20,- !
000 tons. _
Important to Mothoro.
Examine carefully every bottle of CASTOH1A,
a eafr and eure remedy for infanta and cbiidrau.
and nee that it
llpar* the
Signature of
Kn Use For Over 30 Years.
The kind You lisve Alwsya bought.
World’s Gold Production.
In the last 500 years over twelve
billion dollars' worth of gold is esti-
mated to have been dug from tho
earth. Not much more than one-half
of this is definitely known to be in
existence in the monetary stocks of
the globe. Of this, however, the
United States 1b believed to hold from
a billion and a quarter to a billion aud
a half.
It Will Stay There.
“In my family medicine chest no
remedy is permitted to remain unless
It proves beyond doubt the best to be
obtained for Its particular purpose.
"For treating all manner of skin
troubles, such as Eczema, Tetter,
Ringworm, etc., Hunt’s Cure has held
Its place for many years. I have
failed to find a surer remedy. It cures
itching Instantly.”
R. M. Swann,
Franklin, La.
IM
;\u
mT
I
w
\-SiA 1
li
L'"~
Mr. Jefferson's Mistake.
Jefferson had just written the Dec
laratlon of Independence.
"But,” cried the bumptious ones,
“you didn’t spell It according to Bran-
tier Matthews."
Owing to tills oversight they seri-
ously doubted if the document could
be of any benefit to mankind.—N. Y.
Sun.
A Way Out.
Miss Innocence—I’m awfully fright-
ened! I’ve just mailed a letter to
Jack, and 1 know there are at least a
dozen misspelled words in it.
Miss Experience—Oh. never mind;
if he says anything about it tell him
you’ve adopted spelling reform.—De-
troit Free Press.
Pale Pink.
"Binkley seems to have a passion
for attending these afternoon affairs
where there are lots of women."
"Yes. He is what you might call
a teatotaler,"—Chicago Record Her-
ald.
Reassuring Him.
“Professor, I wish you would use
your influence on my son. 1 fear
there Is danger of his becoming a
poet.”
"Well, there isn't; not the slight-
est."—Washington Post.
An Advantage.
"So you prefer to live in South
America?"
"Yes. There a man who yould or-
dinarily be dismissed as a mere mis-
chief-maker attains to the dignity of
a revolutionist."—Washington Star.
MONKEY PLAYED MANY PARTS.
Defined by Customs Men as a Bird, a
Handbag and a Dog.
On tho travels of a monkey from
Genoa to Heidelberg an amusing farce
might be written. A German gentle-
men brought from southwest Africa
a tiny monkey weighing barely a
couple of pounds. From Tanga to
Genoa all went well with the Lilli-
putian animal. It was a favorite with
everyone, and traveled free until
Genoa was reached, when its troubles
began.
Brought under the notice of the Ge-
noese customhouse authorities, it was
promptly deprived of its Identity. It
was no longer an animal: it became
a bird, and as a bird, on which 28
cents was charged, it was conveyed to
the Swiss frontier, where, at a stroke
of the customhouse officer's wand It
was transformed into a cat at the in-
creased assessment of $1.56, and
borne by train to Zurich.
On its arrival there It ceased, as a
cat, to exist, and became a mere pack
age—an item of luggage that was con-
veyed to Constance for the nominal
sum of 16 cents.
Still ns luggage, though metamor-
phized from a package into a handbag,
it went on its way to Stuttgart, where
a great honor awaited it. it was, on
payment of $2.04, exalted into a dog,
and it was as a dog that It ended its
journey at the university town of
Heidelberg—Stray Stories.
IT'S THE FOOD.
An Easy Guess.
“Why do you say Miss Haywood is
homely ? I thought you had never met
her."
"I haven't Hut I've heard several
oilier ladi. s refer to her as 'a good
soul.' "—Chicago Record Herald.
...vi
Income From Abroad.
, The London Economist states that
British capitalists draw an income of
$500,000,000 from their foreign invest-
ments. Last fiscal year they paid
income tax on $1130,300,000, as com-
pared with $195,100,000 20 years ago.
The largest amount is derived from
interest on foreign and colonial gov-
ernment securities and the next larg-
est sum from dividends and Interest
from foreign and colonial concerns.
»The Laxative «
Known Quality
There are two classes of remedies; those of ^ownqnal-
Ity and which are permanently beneficial in effect, setinr
gently, in Larmony with nature, when nature m‘eds a^is f
*nce and another class, composed of preparations of
unknown, uncertain and inferior character, ae inff terapo*
rarily, but injuriously, as a result of forcing ‘^natural
functions unnecessarily. One of the .
the remedies of known quality and excellence is the em
pleasant Syrup of Figs, manufactured by the California
Fig Syrup Co., which represents the active principles
plants, known to act most beneficially, in a pleasant syrup,
in which the w holesome Californian blue figs are n^ to wm-
jA tribute their rich, yet delicate, fruity flavor. It is the rem y
f/flf/UH /'.?! of all remedies to sweeten aud refresh and cleanse the syst
fe gently and naturally, aud to assist one in overcoming eons*
$ i j pation and the many ills resulting therefrom. Its active princi-
pies and quality are known to physicians generally, and the
remedy has therefore met with their approval, as well as with
iM the favor of many millions of well informed persons who know
/ of their own personal knowledge and front actual experience
that it is a most excellent laxative remedy. We do not claim that
it will cure all manner of ills, but recommend it for what it really
represents, a laxative remedy of known quality and excellence,
containing nothing of an objectionable or injurious character.
There are two classes of purchasers; those who are informed
as to the quality of what they buy and the reasons for the excellence
of articles of exceptional merit, and who do not lack courage to go
elsewhere when a dealer offers an imitation of any well known
article; but, unfortunately, there are some people who do not know,
and who allow themselves to he imposed upon. They cannot expect
its beneficial effects if they do not get the genuine remedy.
To the credit of tho druggists of the United States be it said
that nearly all of them value their reputation for professional
integrity and the good will of their customers too highly to offer
imitations of the
Genuine—Syrup of Figs
manufactured by the California Fig Syrup Co., and in order to
buy the genuine article and to get Its beneficial effects, one has
only to note, when purchasing, the full name of the Company—
California Fig Syrup Co.—plainly printed on the front of every
package. Price, 60c. per bottle. One size only.
1’
PUTNAM FADELESS DYES
aC»%r»tb«
Are
You
Happy
WRITS US FREELY
and frankly, in strictest confidence, telling all your
troubles, and stating your age. We will send you
FREE ADVICE, in plain sealed envelope, and a val-
uable 64-page book on ‘‘Home Treatment for Women.”
Address: Ladies’ Advisory Department, The
Chattanooga Medicine Co., Chattanooga, Tenn.
The Dark Side
of a woman’s life is seldom seen by anyone but herself. What
agonies, what misery, what fits of melancholy and the blues, the poor,
miserable sufferers from female disease have to endure, one month
after another! What wonder so many thousands of women cannot
truthfully say that they are happy! Are you? Happiness cannot be
called complete without health, and health is best obtained by
WINE
OF
CARDUI
Woman’s
Relief
which has made many thousands happy in restored health and strength. “The doctors
said I had nervous prostration, but gave me no relief,” writes Lizzie Matthews, of ML
Vernon, Ga. "I was sick for nine years. I could hardly eat and could not sleep. My
back and hips ached, I was very Irregular and would have to stay in bed two or three
days. I have used 3 bottles of Cardui, and now I can say that my health is better than
for the past nine years.” Cardui relieves pain, regulates fitful functions, strengthens
your weakest organs, makes you well and HAPPY. Try it
At Every Drug Store in $1.00 Bottles
As to Its Size.
"Profi «sor you have heard niv
daughter's v ce Don't you think it
ought to be developed?"
“N • ■ eveloped. madam;
what it need.- •». perhaps, is a little
—h'm—restrain: —Chicago Tribune.
Familiar Examples.
Teacher (of class in elocution)—
What is a rhetorical pause?
Shaggy Haired Pupil—It's when an
orator makes a little stop and waits
for the applause.—Chicago Tribune.
Appropriate.
He—I want to give Miss Sharp a
palm for her parlor. What kind would
you suggest ?
She—Why don't you give her a
cactus plant?—Detroit Free Press.
The True Way to Correct Nervous
Troubles.
Nervous troubles are more often
caused by improper food and indlges
tlon than most people Imagine. Even
doctors sometimes overlook this fact
A man says:
“Until two years ago waffles and
butter with meat and gravy were the
main features of my breakfast. Final-
ly dyspepsia came on and 1 found my-
self in a bad condition, worse in the
morning than any other time. I would
have a full, sick feeling in my stom-
ach, with pains in my heart, sides and
head.
"At times I would have no appetite
for days, then 1 would feel ravenous,
never satisfied when I did ent and so
nervous 1 felt like shrieking at the
top of my voice. I lost flesh badly
and hardly knew which way to turn
until one day I bought a box of Grape-
Nuts food to see if 1 could eat that.
1 tried it without telling the doctor,
and liked it fine: made me feel as if
I had something to eat that was satis-
fying and still I didn’t have that
heaviness that I had felt after eating
any other food.
"I hadn’t drank any coffee then in
five weeks. I kept on with tho Grape-
Nuts and in a month and a half I had
gained 15 pounds, could eat almost
anything I wanted, didn't feel badly
after eating aud my nervousness was
all gone. It's a pleasure to be well
again.”
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek, Mich. Read the book. "The
Road to Wellyille,” In pkes. "There's
a reason.”
"Now, I am ready, how do I look,
dear?" "You remind me of a Sioux
in his war paint." "Oh, you nasty
thing, you—” "Don't cry. darling; I
only meant you were dressed to kill.”
—Baltimore American.
Every duty which we omit, obscures
some truth which we should have
known.—Ruskin.
Marion Harland.
The celebrated authoress, so highly
esteemed by the women of America,
says on pages 103 and 445 of her
book, "Eve’s Daughters; or. Common
Sense for Maid. Wife and Mother":
"For the aching back—should it be
slow in recovering its normal strength
—an Allcock's Plaster is an excellent
comforter, combining the sensation of
the sustained pressure of a strong
warm hand with certain tonic quali-
ties developed in the wearing. It
should be kept over the seat of un-
easiness for several days—in ob-
stinate cases, for perhaps a fortnight."
"For pain in the back wear an All-
cock's Plaster constantly, renewing
as it wears off. This is an invaluable
support when the weight on the small
of the back becomes heavy aud the
aching incessant.”
SICK HEADACHE
CARTER’S
Positively cored by
these Little Pills,
They also relieve Dis-
tress from Dyspepsia, In-
digestion and Too Hearty
Eating. A perfect rem-
edy for Dizziness, Nausea,
Drowsiness, Bad Taste
In the Mouth, Coated
Tongue, Pain In the side,
TORPID LIVER. They
regulate the Bowels. Purely Vegetable.
SMALL PILL SMALL DOSE SMALL PRICE
llTTLE
IVER
PILLS.
RHEUMATISM
^CURED 1
CARTERS
VSvER
| PILLS.
Genuine Must Bear
Fete-Simile Signature
REFUSS Sl»38?[TU?5t«
PAT EXT ATTOHXEY8.
PATENTS
Nathan Bickford, »14 F
Trade Marks, De-
ft iinft. Copyright* and
I,[. c I ft procured.
St.. Washington, U. C.
If a woman laughs at a man's Jokes
it's because he isn't her husband.
Don't be forecasting evil unless It is
what you can guard against. Anxiety
is good for nothing if we can't turn
it into a defense.—Meyrick.
Every man has an excuse for drink-
ing—and each is worse than the
other.
The Circulation Stimulated ^
and the Muscles and »Mnfc
lubricated by using
SlOZUYS
Lirvincveivt
Sloan's Treatise On The Horse"Sent Free
Address Dr. Earl S.SIoan,Boston,Mass.
IPlLESBgm
You Look Prematurely Old
Because of those ugly* grizzly, gray hairs. Uoo “ LA CREOLC " HAIR RESTORER. Prloe, SI.OO, retail.
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Henry, George. W. The Tulsa Chief. (Tulsa, Indian Terr.), Vol. 3, No. 37, Ed. 1 Tuesday, November 20, 1906, newspaper, November 20, 1906; Tulsa, Indian Territory. (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc1172655/m1/2/: accessed April 17, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.