Payne County Farmer. (Yale, Okla.), Vol. 4, No. 52, Ed. 1 Wednesday, August 14, 1912 Page: 3 of 8
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SERIAL
STORY
EXCUSE
ME!
Shall 1
Novelized from
the Comedy of
the Same Name
ILLUSTRATED
Worn Photograph* ef
the Play aa Produced
By Benry W. Savage
Copyright, mi, by U. X. Fly Oa
xu
SYNOPSIS.
Lieut. Harry Mallory Is ordered to the
Philippines. He and Marjorie Newton
decide to elope, but wreck of taxicab pre-
vents their seeing minister on the way to
the train. Transcontinental train is tak-
ing on passengers. Porter has a lively
time with an Englishman and Ira Lath-
rop, a Yankee business man. The elopers
have an exciting time getting to the
train. "Little Jimmie" Wellington, bound
for Reno to get a divorce, boards train
In maudlin condition. Later Mrs. Jimmie
appears. She is also bound for Reno with
tame object. Likewise Mrs. Sammy Whit-
comb. Latter blames Mrs. Jimmie for
her marital troubles. Classmates of Mal-
lory decorate bridal berth. Rev. and Mrs.
Temple start on a vacation. They decide
to cut loose and Temple removes evidence
of his calling. Marjorie decides to let
Mallory proceed alone, but train starts
while they are lost In farewell. Passen-
gers Join Mallory’s classmates in giving
couple wedding hazing. Marjorie Is dis-
tracted. Ira Lathrop, woman-hating
bachelor, discovers an old sweetheart,
Anne Gattle, a fellow passenger. Mal-
lory vainly hunts for a proacher among
the passengers. Mrs. Wellington hears
Little Jimmie’s voice. Later she meets
Mrs. Whitcomb. Mallory reports to Mar-
jorie his failure to find a preacher. They
decide to pretend a quarrel and Mallory
finds a vacant berth.
CHAPTER XV—(Continued).
And now he was sprawled and snor-
ing majestically among his many lug-
gages, like a sleeping lion. Revenge
tasted good to the humble porter; It
tasted like a candled yam smothered
In ’possum gravy. He smacked his
thick lips over this revenge. With
all the Insolence of a servant In brief
authority, he gloated over his prey,
and prodded him awake. Then mur-
mured with hypocritical deference:
“Excuse me, but could I see yo’ ticket
for yo’ seat?”
“Certainly not! It’s too much
trouble,” grumbled the half asleeper.
“Confound you!”
The porter lured him on: “Is you
sho' you got one?”
Wedgewood was wide awake now,
and surly as any Englishman before
breakfast: "Of cawse I’m shaw. How
dare you?”
“Too bad, but I’m ’bleeged to ask
you to gimme a peek at It.”
“This Is an outrage!"
“Yassah, but I Just nachelly got to
see It.”
Wedgewood gathered himself to-
gether, and ransacked his many pock-
ets with Increasing anger, muttering
under his breath. At length he pro-
duced the ticket, and thrust it at the
porter; "Thah, you Idiot, are you con-
vinced now?”
The porter gazed at the billet with
Ill-concealed triumph. "Yassah. I's
convinced," Mr. Wedgewood settled
back and closed his eyes. “I’s con-
vinced that you Is In the wrong
berth!”
“Impossible! I won’t believe you!”
the Englishman raged, getting to his
feet in a fury.
“Perhaps you’ll believe Mlsta Tick-
et," the porter chortled. “He says
numba ten, and that’s ten across the
way and down the road a piece.”
“This Is outrageous! I decline to
move.”
“You may decline, but you move
Just the same,” the porter said, reach-
ing out for his various bags and car-
iryalls. ‘The train moves and you
move with It.”
Wedgewood stood fast: “You had
no right to put me in here In the
iflrst place.”
The porter disdained to refute this
islander. He stumbled down the aisle
with the bundles. “It’s too bad. It's
isutt’nly too bad, but you sholy must
come along.”
Wedgewood followed, gesticulating
ivlolently.
“Here—wait—hovf dare you! And
(that berth Is made up. I don’t want
;to go to bed now!”
“Mlsta Ticket says, 'Go to bald!’”
“Of all the disgusting countries!
’Heah, don't put that thah—heah."
' The porter flung hts load anywhere,
and absolved himself with a curt, ‘Ts
!got otha passengers to wait on now."
“I shall certainly report you to the
’Company,” the Englishman fumed.
"Yassah, I p’aume so."
“Have I got to go to bed now? Real-
ity, I—” but the porter was gone, ana
the irate foreigner crawled under ms
curtains, muttering, “I shall write a
(letter to the London Times about
•this.”
To add to his misery, Mrs. Whit-
comb came from the Women’s Room,
and as she passed him, she prodded
!hlm with one sharp elbow and twisted
tho corner of her heel Into his little
too. Ho thrust his head out with his
-florcsst. “How dare you!” But Mrs.
Whitcomb was fresh from a pro-
longed encounter with Mrs. Welling-
ton, and she flung back a venomous
glare that sent the Englishman to
cover.
The porter reveled In his victory till
iho bad to dash out to the vestibule
to glvo vent to hilarious yslpa of
laughter. When he had regained com-
posure, he came back to Mallory, and
bent over him to flgi
"To* berth Is empty, sah.
make it up?"
Mallory nodded, and turned to Mar-
jorie, with a sad. “Good night, darl-
ing.”
The porter rolled his eyes again,
and turned away, only to be recalled
by Marjorie’s voice: “Porter, take
this old handbag out of here."
The porter thought of the van-
quished Lathrop, exiled to the smok-
ing room, and he answered: "That be-
longs to the gemman what owns this
berth.” 0
"Put it In number one,” Marjorie
commanded, with a queenly gesture.
The porter obeyed meekly, wonder-
ing what would happen next. He had
no sooner deposited Lathrop’s valise
among the Incongruous white'ribbons,
than Marjorie recalled him to say:
“And, porter, yob may bring uie my
own baggage."
"Yo what—missus?”
"Our handbags, idiot,” Mallory ex-
plained, peevishly.
“I ain't seen no handbags of you-
alls," the porter protested. "You-all
didn’t have no handbags when you got
on this cah.”
Mallory Jumped as If he had been
shot. “Good Lord, I reipember! We
left ’em in the taxicab!”
The porter cast his hands up, and
walked away from the tragedy. Mar-
jorie stared at Mallory lu horror.
“We had so little time to catch tne
train," Mallory stammered. Marjorie
leaped to her feet: “I'm going up in
the baggage car.”
“For the dog?” ,
"For my trunk.”
And now Mallory annihilated her
completely, for he gasped: "Our
trunks are on the train ahead!"
Marjorie fell back for one moment,
then bounded to her feet with shrill
commands: "Porter! Porter! I want
you to stop this train this minute!”
The porter called back from the
depths of a berth: “This train don't
stop till tomorrow noon.”
Marjorie had strength enough for
only one vain protest: "Do you mean
to say that I’ve got to go to San Fran-
cisco in this waist—a waist that has
seen a whole day In Chicago?”
The best consolhtlon Mallory could
offer was companionship In misery.
He pushed forward one not too Im-
maculate cufT. “Well, this is the only
linen I have.”
"Don’t speak to me,” snapped Mar-
jorie, beating her heels against the
floor.
"But, my darling!”
“Go away and leave me. I hate
you! ”
Mallory rose up, and stumbling
down the aisle, plounced Into berth
number three, an allegory of despair.
About this time, Little Jimmie Well-
ington, having completed more or less
chaotic preparations for sleep, found
that he had put on his pyjamas hind-
side foremost. After vain efforts to
whirl round quickly and get at his
own back, be put out a frowsy head,
and called for help.
“Say, Porter, Porter!”
"I’m still on the train,” answered
the porter, coming Into view.
“You’ll have to hook me up.”
The porter rendered what aid and
correction he could In Wellington's
hlppopotamine toilet. Wellington was
Just wide enough awake to discern
the undisturbed bridal-chamber,
whined:
"Say, porter, that rice-trap. Aren’t
they going to flop the rice-trap?”
The porter shook his head sadly.
“Don't look like that Hopper’s a’goln
to flip. That dog-on bridal couple is
done divorced a’ready!’’
CHAPTER XVI.
Good Night, All!
The car was settling gradually Into
peace. But there was still some mur-
mur and drowsy energy. Shoes con-
tinued to drop, heads to bump against
upper berths, the bell to ring now
and then, and ring again and again.
The porter paid little heed to It:
he was busy making up number live
(Ira Lathrop’s berth) for Marjorie,
who was making what preparations
she could for her trousseauless, hus-
bandless, dogless first night out.
Finally the Englishman, who had al-
most rung the bell dry of electricity,
shoved from his berth his Indignant
and undignified head. Once more the
car resounded with the cry of “Paw-
tah! Pawtah!”
The porter moved up with notice-
able deliberation. "Did you ring,
sah?"
"Did I ring! Paw-tah, you may
draw my tub at eight-thutty In the
mawnlng.”
"Draw yo'—what, sah?” the porter
gasped.
"My tub."
"Ba-ath tub?"
“Bahtb tub.”
"Lawdy, man. Is you allowin’ to
take a ba-ath in the mawnin'?”
"Of course I am.”
“Didn’t you have one befo’ you
stahted?”
"How dare yout Of cawse I did.”
"Well, that’s all you gtt."
"Do you mean to tell me that there
Is no tub on this beastly train?”
Wedgewood almost fell out of bed
with the shock of this news.
“We do not carry tube—no, sah.
There’s a lot of tubs in San Fran-
cisco, though.”
"No tub on this train for four days!”
Wedgewood sighed. “But whatever
doea one do In the meanwhile?”
"One Just waits. Yassah, one and
all waits.”
“It’s ghahstly, that’s what It Is,
ghahstly.”
“Yassah,” said the porter, and
mumbled as he walked away, "but the
weather la gettin’ cooler.”
He finished preparing' Marjorie’s
bunk, and was Just suggesting that
Mallory retreat to the smoking room
whlls numbsr three was made up,
when there was a eom motion la the
corridor, and a man In checked over-
alls dashed Into the car.
His ear was slightly red, and ho
held at arm’s length, as If It were a
venomous monster, Snoozleums. And
he yelled:
"Say, whose dura dog Is this?, He
bit two men, and he makes so much
noise we can't sleep In tho baggage
car."
Marjorie went flying down the aisle
to reclaim her lost lamb in wolt s
clothing, and Snoozleums, the returned
prodigal, yelped and leaped, and told
her all about the Indignities he had
been subjected to, and his valiant ,
struggle for liberty.
Marjorie, seeing only Snoozleums, ;
stepped into the fatal 'berth number ]
one, and paid no heed to the dangling
ribbons. Mallory, eager to restore j
himself to her love by loving her dog,
crowded closer to her side, making a
hypocritical ado over the pup.
Everybody was popping his or her i
face out to learn the cause of such
clamor. Among the bodiless heads
suspended along the curtnins, UK®
Dyak trophies, appeared the great
mask of Little Jimmie Wellington. He
had been unable to sleep for mourn-
ing the wanton waste of that lovely
rice-trap.
When he peered forth, his eyes
hardly believed themselves. The
elusive bride and groom were actu-
ally in the trap—the hen pheasant
and the chanticleer. But the net did
not fall. He waited to see them sit j
down, and spring the infernal ma-
chine. But they would not sit.
In fact, Marjorie was muttering to
Harry—tenderly, now, since he had
won her back by his efforts to con-
sole Snoozleums—she was muttering
tenderly:
"W® must not be seen together,
honey. Go away. I’ll see you in the
morning.”
And Mallory was saying with bit-
terest resignation: "Good night—my
friend.”
And they were shaking hands! This
incredible bridal couple was shaking
hands with ltselfc—disintegrating!
Then Wellington determined to do at
least his duty by the sacred rites.
The gaping passengers saw what
was probably the largest pair of pa-
jamas In Chicago. They saw Little
Jimmie, smothering back hts giggles
like a schoolboy, tiptoe from hts
berA, enter the next berth, brushing
the porter aside, climb on the seat,
and clutch the ribbon that pulled the
stopper from the trap.
Down upon the unsuspecting elop-
ers came this miraculous cloudburst
of Ironical rice, and with It came LltJ
tie Jimmie Wellington, who lost what
little balance he had, and catapulted
Into their midst like the offspring of
an Iceberg.
It was at this moment that Mrs.
Wellington, hearing the loud cries of
the panic-stricken Marjorie, rushed
from the Women’s Room, absent-mind-
edly combing a totally fletached seo-
tlon of her hair. She recognized fa-
miliar pyjamas waving In air, and
with one faint gasp: "Jimmie! on this
train!” she swooned away. She would
have fallen, but seeing that no one
paid any attention to her, she recov-
ered consciousness on her own hook,
and vanished Into her berth, to medi-
tate on the whys and wherefores of
her husband’s presence In this car.
Dr. Temple In a nightgown and
trousers: Roger Ashton, In a collar-
less estate, and the porter, managed
to extricate Mr. Wellington from his
plight, and stow him away, though It
was like putting a whale to bed.
Mallory, seeing that Marjorie had
fled, vented his wild rage against fate
In general, and rice traps in particu-
lar, by tearing the bridal bungalow to
pieces, and then he stalked Into the
smoking room, where Ira Lathrop,
homeless and dispossessed, was sound
asl«ep, with his feet In the chair.
H® was dreaming that he was a
boy In Brattleboro, the worst boy In
Brattleboro, trying to get up the cour-
age to spark pretty Anne Gattle, and
throwing rocks at the best boy in
town, Charlie Selby, who was always
at her side. The porter woke Ira, an
hour later, and escorted him to the
late bridal section.
Marjorie had fled with her dog, as
soon as she could grope her way
through the deluge of rice. She hop-
ped Into her berth, and spent an hour
trying to clear her hair of the mul-
titudinous grains. And as'for Snoozle-
ums, his thick wool was so be-rlced
that for two days, whenever he shook
himself, he anew.
(TO BE CONTINUED.)
BEST ARRANGEMENT OF COIFFURE
m
That’s the kind—Lib-
by’s — There isn’t an-
other sliced dried beef
like it. Good ? It’s the
inside cut of the finest
beef sliced to wafer thin-
ness.
I
m OME styles of hair dressing are
not suited to dark shades of
hair, but are especially effective
for blondes. Those whose hair
Is In the lighter red shades. In
gold on pale drab shades, and especial-
ly the ash blondes, may pick out fluffy
and elaborate coiffures which are suit-
ed to their Individual style.
An unusual coiffure Is shown here
worn by a model with pale gold hair.
The very white skin and dark eyes
perhaps lend a charm to this hair
dress. It shows a return to many
thin, fluffy puffs covering the back of
the head and curled fringe across the
forehead. This fringe Is curled in
little ringlets on a small iron and
they are the new and Individual fea-
ture of this style. Not everyone can
wear them.
All the hair Is waved for this hair
dress and the puffs are quite liberally
pinned on. That would at any rate
be the most convenient way In which )
to wear them. They are too light and
fluffy to burden or heat the head and j
as a matter at fact, much more com-
fortable than the natural hair Is when
arranged in so many puffs.
It will be noticed that the puffs are
arranged very close to tho head and
that there Is not much hair at the
sides of the face as in the greater
number of today’s coiffures.
JULIA BOTTOMLEY.
BRILLIANCY IN SHOE COLORS BEAD TASSEL EASILY MADE
Many of the Modes Verge on the Gar-
ish, Though Remarkably Pretty
Effects Are Produced.
Just as colors in hosiery have been
used with discretion by the woman
with a talent for dress, so have colors
In our footgear. Some women have
adopted gayly colored tops for their
shoes with an eclat which carried
them off; /others have impressed us
with the vulgarity of the new whim.
But one and all have fallen captive to
the new Colonial slipper, which was
Introduced along with the dashing lit-
tle Dlrectoire coats, the Continental
hats, and other reminders of the Na-
poleonic period. It Is a jaunty little
affair, which Is simply bewitching on
the right foot, a slender little foot
"with a well arched Instep, for It
boasts a broad pointed tongue, spread-
ing out over the lnsted, a high heel,
on the Spanish order, and a stunning
buckle — just such a buckle as the
more fortunate of us have handed
-down for generations. We copyists of
today select such a bucgle in gun-
metal, leather, old sliver, or, If we
wish to be very rash, rhinestones.
Can’t you see Just how fascinating
these slippers can be?
For evening, our satin slippers,
whether In black or a color to match
the gown, are brilliant with buckles
of the glittering rhinestones, or cut
steel. The bow knots of platinum,
set with brilliants, are entrancing as
adornments to a dainty satin slipper.
Still another fancy calls for a button
of brilliants.
Having the Fringe and Beads, the
Decoration Is by No Means Hard
to Put Togathar.
A very simple bead tassel can be
‘made from deep fringe or from loose
beads.
If you use loose beads you must
thread forty lengths of seventy beads
each, or twenty lengths of a hundred
and thirty beads If a double end ie
preferred to a single one. Each
length Is attached to a narrow strip
of satin ribbon, which la then wound
round and round and stitched through
to prevent the middle of the little
bundle from slipping.
If the tassel is made of fringe, cut
off five Inches and wrap the heading
round and sew as described above
Next take a piece of stiffening one
inch and a half long, two Inches broad
at one end and three-quarters of an
Inch at the other. Cover with silk
and oversew the edges together so as
to form a tube.
Slip the satin ribbon Inside tbs
larger aperture In the tube and stitch
through securely, for the beads make
the tassel very heavy. Thread about
two hundred beads and wind the
string round the tube to completely
cover the silk, sewing at Intervals
Make another string of eighty beadsi
double Into three, and ®ew to the top
to form a loop.
SERVING THE AFTERNOON TEA
Discomfited Masher.
A gray-hatred masher, easily over
sixty years of age. was given a cold
reception when he endeavored to be-
come acquainted with the wife of a
well-known newspaper man recently.
The day was cold and rainy.' The
newspaper man’s wife was standing
bolding an open umbrella. 8he was
waiting for her car. The gray-beard-
ed Individual unannounced stooped
under her umbrella, and stood beside
her for an Instant before be remark-
ed:
“You seem to be watting for some
one.”
He was nearly taken off bis feet
when the woman with a quick reply
said, “I think you are mistaken, San-
ta Claus.”
The gray-bearded Individual left sud-
denly. _
Worse Than English 8parrow.
Rabbits were originally introduced
Into Australia by a squatter, near Mel-
bourne, who thought that the sight of
them would remind him of home. They
did, but they cost him 1250,000 be-
fore they were done with him, and
that little reminiscence Is costing the
colonies 93,600,000 per annum. A
pair of rabbits In five years are capa-
ble of producing a progeny of 20,000,-
000, and In Australia they seem to
have acted op to (Mr capacity.
Appurtenances May Be Costly or Sim-
ple, but Everything Must Be of
the Daintiest Order.
When the woman who is her own
maid serves afternoon tea she appre-
ciates the convenience of having a
cart which can be wheeled from kitch-
en to living room and will hold every-
thing that is needed for the collation.
The carts come In mahogany or fumed
oak with glass top shelves and rub-
ber tired wheels and In natural wood
with rattan, and, considering their
usefulness, none are very expensive.
Lacking the cart, many housekeepers
have In their living room a little oak
or mahogany or willow tea table
equipped with a spoon drawer, which
also holds several paper napkins. In-
stead of keeping the service upon
the table Its top is ordinarily covered
with an elaborately embroidered silk-
en mat, which is whisked off when the
tea equipage is brought in on a tray
of the proper size. Unless this tray
Is a handsome affair of glass rimmed
with mahogany, silver or brass, It
should be covered with a flue linen
tray cloth and he accompanied by a
'nuffin stand of wood or of willow.
Space-Saving Parasols.
There Is a growing fancy for parasols
and umbrellas that can be easily pack-
ed. One of the newest Is adjustable to
any angle, which makes It convenient
for motoring, tennis tournaments or
the races, and when closed the top dis-
appears in the handle. This sunshade
has a rosette and loop by which it can
be slung over the wrist.
Folding umbrellas are now made to
go in small trunks and compact enough
to be tucked Into a suitcase or even a
■achel. An umbrella which does not
told, but weighs only twelve ounces, Is
of thin, strong silk on a light steel
frame and stick. . _, _
CHILD’S SUIT.
This attractive little suit is of tus-
aah silk In natural color. The dress
is made with a long-walsted blouse
and short skirt, the latter finished
with lace to match.
The blouse Is trimmed at the top
with hand-embroldertd dots, and the
girdle Is of taffeta of a contrasting
color.
The pretty Jacket has a waistcoat,
buttons and cravat of taffeta like the
girdle.
Wrinkled Seam.
When a seam becomes wrinkled
sewing on the machine, dampen slight-
ly and press It on the right side with
a warm Iron, laying a piece of the
same material over It and pulling the
seam gently as you run the Iron over
it. This will shrink the material and
the sessi wiU become quite smooth.
Sliced
Dried Beef
stands supremd. The tasty
dishes one can make with it
are almost numberless.
Let’s see 1 There’s creamed
dried beef, and—but just try
it. Then you’ll know I
Always Insist on Libby’s
Don’t accept "a just as good." From ' ]
relish to roast, from condimant to
consarva, the quality of Libby’s
Ready-to-Serve Foods Is always
superior. And they don’t cost one 2
whit more than the ordinary kinds.
Ptt up far atarilizad gloat or tin
container®
At Every Groeors
Libby, McNeill & Libby
Chicago
. fm |
NGUE
BINDER
ALWAYS mmu
W. N. U., Oklahoma City, No. 3S-1S10.
HER LITTLE HAND IN HIS
- -T t
Mr. Pecks's Explanation as to Rsason
Somewhat Dispelled th® Odor
of Romance.
Henne and Peek® were two henpeok>
ed married men. The other day they
met, and, after a few casual remarks
concerning the weather, the subject
of women and unfortunate husbands
was—perhaps naturally—discussed. To
Henne, however, suddenly cams
thoughts of years ago, when he was
a happy bachelor, and (unconsciously
ef what Fate had lu store for him)
was “walking out” a girl who was,
later on, destined to bring him sor-
row and misery.
Peeke, seeing a “far-away’’ look In
his companion’s eyes, inquired tbs
meaning. Henne retorted dramat-
ically, “I was Just then thinking, old
fellow, of those happy days long ago—
when I used to hold that girl’s hand
in mine for hours—when—”
But the equally unfortunate Peeks
suddenly cut his companion short by
exclaiming: “Why, that’s nothing!
Cheer up! Do you know, only yes-
terday I held my wife’s hand for thrae
oolid hours.”
What?” said the startled Henne.
"Yes, it’s a fact.” resumed Peeke,
sorrowfully; “and I declare if I’d let
loose she'd have killed me.”—London
Tit-Bits.
Corrected.
“Isn’t that lady attenuated in
form?”
“Do you think so? Now, I’d call bet
real thin.”
A Triumph
Of Cookery—
Post
Toasties
Many delicious dishes
have been made from
Indian Com by the skill
and ingenuity of the ex-
pert cook.
But none of these crea-
tions excels Pott TOASt-
NS in tempting the palate.
“TOAStfcs” are a lux-
ury that make a delight-
ful hot-weather economy.
The first package tells
its own story.
••The Memory Lingers*'
Sold by Gracm.
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Ford, C. F. Payne County Farmer. (Yale, Okla.), Vol. 4, No. 52, Ed. 1 Wednesday, August 14, 1912, newspaper, August 14, 1912; (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc1136591/m1/3/: accessed April 24, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.