Cleveland County Enterprise. (Norman, Okla.), Vol. 21, No. 2, Ed. 1 Thursday, July 11, 1912 Page: 3 of 8

gar Suitors of
mn Merriwid
' We seem to be seeing a great deal
of Mr. Capias lately. Melissa," ob-
served Mrs. Merriwid's maternal maid-
en aunt Jane, beginning a new row
in the afghan she was knitting, with
the wrong color.
Mrs. Merrlwid delicately picked up
a candled violet from the box of bon-
bons In her lap and, crunching It be-
tween her white teeth, answered with
some Indistinctness of articulation
that there was a good deal of Mr. Ca-
plas to see.
"He Is certainly a fine figure of a
man," said Aunt Jane.
"Two figures," corrected Mrs. Mer-
rlwid. "Twenty-three is the gentle-
man's number, the way I've got it
down. Cheer up, dearie, we'll see less
of him after this evening. We've got
the probate business about settled and
all I've got to do is to settle him."
Aunt Jane laid down her knitting
and adjusted her glasses for a steady
inspection of her niece. "Do you mean
to say you expect him to propose?" ghe
I wouldn't swoon with surprise if
he did," replied Mrs. Merrlwid. "I
don't think my poor fond fluttering
heart will flutter as high as my ton-
Blls if such a thing should happen.
Yes, auntie, he will propose and he
Mill get a jar that will loosen every
"And because he's a lawyer," said
Mrs. Merriwid, nodding her bang com-
pletely over her left eye. "I think
any woman Is foolish to marry a law-
yer when there are bo many pleas-
anter ways of making herself miser-
"Of course I'm very dense, but I
can't imagine why a member of an
honored and indispensable profession
should be considered ineligible matri-
monially." Aunt Jane delivered her-
self of this with a degree of acrimony,
"Dearie," said Mrs. Merriwid, "that's
because you haven't given the subject
due consideration, and little Melissa
has. A lawyer has to have an analyt-
ical mind. That's all right In his hon-
ored profession, but he's apt to bring
it home with his umbrella and apply
it to the garbage can, so to speak, to
deduce things."
That's nonsense," commented Aunt
"So is most of the law," said Mrs.
Meriiwid. 'Anyway, a lawyer is sup-
posed to know how to argue and put
the person he argues with in the
wrong. What kind of a happy life
would a woman lead with a husband
that could get the best of every dis-
cussion? Isn't that a wife's privilege?
And saying mean things in an aggra-
vating way: You know perfectly well
that all lawyers pride themselves on
that. It's their business, while it's
merely an amusement with us. And
_V2/ 1
How Mrs. Bethune was Re-
stored to Health by Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegeta-
ble Compound.
Fikeston, Mo. — "For seven years I
suffered everything. 1 was in bed for
four or five duys at a
fiBCJSjLj-i-? time every month,
and so weak 1 could
hardly walk. I had
cramps, backache
and headache, and
was so nervous and
weak that I dreaded
to see anyone or
have anyone move in
the room. The doc-
tors gave me medi-
cine to ease me at
those times, and said that I ought to
have an operation. I would not listen to
that, and when a friend of my husband's
told him about Lydia E. Pinkham's Veg-
etable Compound and what it had done
for his wife, I was willing to take it.
Now I look the picture of health and feel
like it, too. I can do all my own house-
work, work in the garden and entertain
company and enjoy them, and can walk
as far as any ordinary woman, any day
in the week. I wish I could talk to every
suffering woman and girl, and tell them
what Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound has done for me."—Mrs.
Duma Bethune, Sikeston, Mo.
Remember, the remedy which did this
was Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
It has helped thousands of women who
have been troubled with displacements,
inflammation, ulceration, tumors, irreg-
ularities, periodic pains, backache, thut
bearing down feeling, indigestion, and
nervous prostration, after all other means
have failed. Why don't you try it?
Young Bride Got Early Proof of the
Way Men Will Stick by One
The bridegroom of three months
bade his w ife adieu one morning and
started on a business trip to a town
-5 miles distant. The Journey was to
be made by automobile and he prom-
ised to return In time for seven
oclork dinner as usual.
Hut no husband appeared when din-
ner was served and the anxious wife
watched the hands of the clock as
they journeyed on and announced
that the hour was midnight, and still
the husband failed to appear. The
frantic wife sent telegrams to six
friends of the groom living in the
town where he might have gone, ask-
ing if he was spending the night with
them. As dawn appeared a farm
wagon drove up containing a farmer
and the missing husband and furnish-
ing motor power for a broken down
automobile that trailed behind. Al-
most simultaneously came a messen-
ger boy with an answer to one of the
telegrams, followed at intervals by
five others and all of the telegrams
Yes, John is spending the night
with me."
In loyalty what surpasses man?
To cure contlveness the mcJIclne must be
more than a purgative; it munt contain tonic,
alterative and cathartic properties.
Her Unfortunate Error.
A literary lady at a society dinner
was given a seat next to a noted
s<tfentist whose views were very ma-
terialistic, and at some remark he
made on the origin of mankind, the
lady found her temper tried beyond
all bearing, so that she retorted: "I
really don't care what you say. I be-
lieve In the Bible, and there we are
told that Adam was the father of all
"1 really think you are mistaken,"
he said with a smile, and so the sub-
ject dropped.
A few days later the lady, writing
to a bosom friend, told her of the oc-
currence and added: "I am too morti-
fied, for I have looked the matter up
and it only says that Eve was the
mother of all living, and so I don't
know whether to write to the profes-
sor or not."
possess these qualities, and speedily restore
to the bowels their natural peristaltic motion,
so essential to r* yi.i« ri«y. ||inTTr
bicuspid In his mobile Jaw. I'm quite
looking forward to it"
"May I ask why, my dear?
Aunt Jane, elaborately.
Because he can't note any excep-
tion to the court's ruling on the
ground that the court erred when she
employed the word 'not' in her deci-
sion," Mrs. Merriwid replied. "He
won't get any thirty days or thirty
seconds to file an appeal. He won't
have the closing argument either, or
get the costs taxed to anybody but
Mr. Capias. I've one or two other
"I don't call what you've said any
reason," remarked Aunt Jane, severely.
"Have a marron glace, dearie," said
Mrs. Merrlwid, selecting one with the
candy tongs and forcibly inserting it
in her aunt's protesting mouth. "To
resume, Mr. Capias rumbles. Wen a
man has a deep bass voice and
rumbles with it and then puffs out
his chcekB and swells his chest to
show how much wind he's got left if
he cared to use it, I always want to
give him a Jar. Poor dear Henry nev-
er rolled out any sub-cellar oratory
at mo in his most exasperating mo-
"They say he's a rising man," urged
Aunt Jane.
"Self-rising," agreed Mrs. Merriwid.
"I don't doubt it, auntie. He's a par-
ticularly yeasty person. You take a
combination of oiled Bilk and gas and
you've got something that will go up
like the cost of living, unless some-
body sticks a pin in it and there's no
repair material handy. I wouldn't won-
der one bit if Mr. Capias lands in a
soft place on the bench, but I'm no
Maud Muller and I don't think I'll
have any regrets."
"I think you might do a great deal
worse," aunt Jane contended.
"Bless your cunning little curls—
which you haven't got on quite
straight, dearie. There! Now they're
all right. Bless your cunning little
curls! a woman might always do
worse. That's the one consolation
she has. There are more varieties of
cussedness in men than some people
have pickles, and no one man has
them all, or even the worst of them,
If you take his wife's opinion. She
can always look around her circle
of married acquaintances and thank
her lucky stars and hose-supportors
that John hasn't acquired the particu-
lar brand of vice that distinguishes
the brute next door or across the
way. You've no Idea what a comfort
that sweet hlght-have-been-worse as-
surance was to me in my married life,
"So you object to him because he
hafcn't a tenor voice?" Aunt Jane'o
tone was mildly sarcastic.
then there's cross-questioning! Oh!
there's no use talking about it, auntie.
You must see yourself how simply
awful it would be."
"There might be something in that,
certainly," Aunt Jane conceded, "but
I don t think it's your real reason."
"If it isn't that, it must be the way
he has of making himself agreeable "
said Mrs. Merrlwid. "Perhaps it's his
winning smile and perhaps it's the
cute things he says, like 'Sweets to
the sweet' when he produces the can-
, y* No- 't wasn't this candy; this
Isn t so worse. 'Sweets to the sweet!'
and the smile went with it. He's got
a cunning little collection of funny
anecdotes, too—culled from the first
edition of a patent medicine almanac.
\\ hen ho says, 'That reminds me of
the story of the Irishman,' I have to
hold on tight to something to keep
from screaming. There was that about
poor Henry Merriwid: he never tried
to tell funny stories."
"If he's so distasteful to you I won-
der you've encouraged him the way
you have," said Aunt Jane.
I didn't say he was distasteful,
dearie," Mrs. Merrlwid replied. "And
as for encouraging him, I couldn't bo
rude. Not unless it became necessary.
I never gave him any real reason to
suppose that we could ever be more to
each other than very dear friends, and
I shall always regard him with a feel-
ing of tender sentiment as tlio first
of my second series; but there are so
many pretty pebbles strewn about the
beach that don't wear black string
neckties, and there's one insuperable
objection to Mr. Capias if it was ever
"What's that?" inquired Aunt Jane
'He makes me so awfully weary "
said Mrs. Merriwid.
(Copyright, 1912. by W. Q. Chapman.)
Situation Improved, but Further Work
Is Needed to Stamp Out
Only four states, Mississippi, Ne-
vada, Utah and Wyoming, have no
beds Whatever in special hospitals or
wards for consumptives. Eight years
ago when the National Association for
the Study and Prevention of Tubercu-
losis was organized, there were 26
states In which no hospital or sanito-
rium provision for consumptives exist-
ed, and the entire number of beds in
the United States was only 10,000.
"While these figures would indicate
a remarkable growth in anti-tubercu-
Iosis activity," says Dr. Livingston
Farrnnd, executive secretary of the
National ascociation, in commenting
on the subject, "there are still prac-
tically ten indigent consumptives for
| every one of the 30,000 beds, including
j those for pay patients. In other words,
we have from 250,000 to 300,000 con'
Bumptives in this country too poor to
I provide hospital care for themselves,
II tuberculosis is ever going to be
stamped out in the United States,
, more hospital provision for these foci
j of infection must be provided."
Springs in Their Brains.
Two Frenchmen, in visiting an art
gallery, stopped to admire a painting
by an American. The artist happened
to he in the gallery and in broken
English one of the Frenchmen asked:
"How did monsieur ever catch such a
wonderful picture?"
"0," replied the artist, with a far-
away look, "that painting was an off-
spring of my brain."
The other Frenchman was greatly
interested and asked his friend what
that American had said.
I can hardly explain," whispered
the first Frenchman excitedly; "he
said ze picture was one spring off of
ills brain. Ees eet any wonder zat ze
Americans act queerly when they
have springs on their brains."
Had to Come.
It had to come—there was noway
by which its advent might have been
This wail in a Paris newspaper did
not refer to a great catastrophe, but
to the "beauty spot," the speck of
black plaster "which, worn on cheek
or chin, or both, makes natural tints
(real or otherwise) more conspicu-
The writer adds that when pannier
skirts, high heeled shoes and many
puffs in the hair were fashionable the
beauty spot" was a necessary ac-
companiment, and that when the mak-
ers of fashions consulted old prints
this was found to be so, "and a few
wax heads in the show windows of
the hairdressers decorated with the
black spots did the rest The faahlon
was established, or rather revived."
New York Tribune.
Glen \\ ilton, \ a.—"Five years ago I
t was in a terrible state of suffering
I with blotches on my limbs, of the most
intense stinging and Itching. I could
i not rest day or night; the itching was
! bo severe that it waked me out of
Bleep. I could never get a full night's
rest. I actually scrubbed the very
I flesh so severely that in a short time
the affected places were so 6ore I
I coulrl scarcely walk with any ease or
comfort. The places were a solid rais-
| ed up mass. I would scratch the parts
| until they would bleed. I tried home
1 remedies but got no good; the itching
Just kept on getting worse. 1 used
some salve which simply was no good
at all.
"I happened to see the Cutlcura
Soap and Ointment advertisement and
wrote for a free Bample. Almost like
magic I commenced getting relief, I
bought a 50c box of Cuticura Oint-
ment ar.d some Cuticura Soap and I
was entirely cured from a torment
that would be hard to describe."
(Signed) W. P. Wood, Mar. 9. 1912.
' uticura Soap and Ointment soid
throughout the world. Sample of each
free, with 32-p. Skin Book. Address
post-card "Cuticura, Dept. L, Boston."
Strictly Up to Date.
Alice—How oddly some men pro-
Kate—I sould say bo. A gentle-
man asked me last week If I felt fa-
vorably disposed to a unification of in
Helped a Little.
At Dinard one summer there was a
beautiful young countess, the wife of
a millionaire, whose bathing dress
A couple of men about town were
talking In shocked tones about the
countess' bathing dress on the casino
"It's shocking; it's most improper,"
said the first.
"But," said the second, "I can't be-
lieve it's any worse than the dinner
dress she wore at Mrs. Hughes-Hal-
let's ball last night.
"Oh, well," said the other, "she had
her diamonds on then."—Rochester
Evening Telegram.
Singing and the Lungs.
| It is well known that singing, like
whistling. Is a fine exercise for the
| lungs, and some doctors advise those
j who fear consumption to go In for
j singing for this reason,
j At the same time they, of course,
j do not advance the claim that singing j
j alone will save anyone from or cure
consumption. Acquire the habit of
i taking the big deep breath, which is a
I primary requisite of any kind of sing-
j ! g, bad or good, and the physical
Joy derived from it will never allow
you to relapse into lazy breathing.
With the Lid Off.
"Mother," asked Bob, with a hope-
ful eye on the peppermint jar, "have
I been a good boy this afternoon?"
"M-m-yes," answered mother, dubi-
ously, recalling a certain little rift
within the lute. The four-year-old dip-
lomat looked anxious.
"Please," he begged, "say a wide-
open yea!"—Harper's Bazar.
Put It Up to the Cook Book.
My dear Dolly," said a young hus-
band, "honestly i cannot congratulate
you on your success with this pudding.
It is simply rank."
"Charley!" exclaimed the little
wife, "how absurd! It is ail Imagina-
tion! The cook book says it tastes
like ambrosia."
flridVJtt00"*''Ptttei3 when ,vou <" • ?<"t G.r-
Belu lea at any drug store t It wilitiuicklv ro-
lieve and 1U benotits will be realized.
Helpmates and soulmates are not
always synonymous.
It Is only the very young man who
wants to paint the town. An old man
Is satisfied if he can fresco the cor-
Ruling Spirit Still Strong. ]
Mrs. J, L, Story, who has Just pub-
lished a volume of reminiscences, tells
of a lady relative who had all her life
been afraid of damp sheets. When
she was dying Mrs. Story entered the
room, to find the fireplace barricaded
with a large assortment of bed linen
She was having her winding sheet
"I never have lain in damp bed-
clothes while I was alive," said the
old lndy in a feeble whisper, "and I'm
not going to do it when I'm dead."
Lumbago, Rheumatism and Chilblains
There is nothing that gives so quick
benefit as Hunt's Lightning Oil. The 1
very miuute it is rubbed on the im-
provement is noticed. For over thirty J
years this Liniment has been acknowl- :
edged to be the best for these troubles, j
Every druggist will recommend it i
Price 25c and 60c pe; Bottle.
Standard of Sanity.
Shakespeare was asked if Hamlet
was Bane.
"As sane as the Fourth of July," he
To keep artificial teeth and bridge-
work antiseptlcally clean and free
from odors and disease germs, Paxtine
Antiseptic is uneqtialed. At drug-
gists, 25c a box or sent, postpaid on re-
ceipt of price by The Paxton Toilet
Co., Boston, Mass,
Hope Eternal.
Every new day and night of Joy
or sorrow is a new ground, a new con-
secration, for the love that is nour-
ished by memories as well as hopes.—
Ueorge Eliot.
LFWIS' Sinylo Hinder straight Bo cigar,
lou pay 10c for cigars aot so good.
He who hesitates is lost—especially
when he Is found out.
Whenever You
Use Your Back
A, D°Zn^ ,
astory." rain Kit You?
It's a sign 0f
sick kidneys, es-
pecially If tlio
kidney action Is
disordered, too,
passages scanty
or too frequent
or off-color.
Do not neglect
any little kidney
, JjS ill for th,> slight
'/*• troubles run Into
J dropsy, gravel,
Btone or Bright'g
.. _ disease,
t so Doan's Kidney Pills. This
good remedy cures bad kidneys.
A'" IWalrtln,
K;'OTr..r VX' tbs:?
onlVrl-'llPf lSnrnSIlnrr,|)^; was my
k'dne^lrijubio."'U1 """ tr"
Get Doan's at any Drug Store, 50c. a Bo*
Doan's KpmJ'r
British South African Empire.
I he South African possessions of
England require 10,000,000 postaga
stamps per annum.
Important it is that tile blood lie kept pura.
Garfield Tea is big enough for the job.
After they reach the age of 40 wom-
en laugh only when they feel like It
Illriipy's Old I tellable Eye-water cures sort
or weak eyes. Don't hurt. Keels good.
Ixive may find the way, but It Isn't
alwayo able to pay the freight.
Every Day
Is Bfulcc Bay
at Osis* House!"
writes an accomplished house-
wife, an enthusiastic patron of
" It is Hot Biscuit, Muffins, Sally
Lunn, Waffles,Pot Pie, and almost
daily, now that the season has
come, a Fruit Short Cake—all
home - made, home - baked of
course, and perfectly delicious!
Home-baking, thus, with the aid
of Dr. Price's Baking Powder,
provides the most tasty food,
which I know to be of absolute
purity, clean and healthful, and
with considerable economy."
Our correspondent has written for
us the whole story.
Makes Home-Baking
a Success and a Recreation,
with food more healthful, desirable, and
safe from all improper contamination.
price baking powder co., CHICAGO
Fair Young Thing—What Is that
man who Is running doing?
Kan—He Is going home to mother.
Mrs. Wlnslow'a Soothln* Syrup for Children
leethiuK. •often* the guma, reduces inrtamuia-
tion, altaj-8 pain, uuren wind colic, S6u u buttle.
The man who falls out of an airship
probably feels as badly hurt as the
one who is thrown out of the political
band wagon.
Some men And it cheaper to stay
married than to pay alimony.
Well Defended.
He whose study is among the shad-
ows and lights of nature has an un-
suspected coat of mall defending him
among all the turmoil.—Mrs. Oliphant.
cm. r UROVB'S TASTlvl.lsS
rm * CONIC. Von know wliat yuu art! taklajj.
I I ri formula Is plain!/ prlnu-d "n every bot*.«,
showing It Is sluip'r <^uln1n«« and Iron In a Umumom
form, and tho most efT.vtuaJ form, bur grown
people und children, 60 count.
One always thinks there is a lot of
money to be made in any kind of busi-
ness that he Isn't In.
The reason a girl won't let a young
man kiss her Is because she wants
him to.
Baoauaa of thoaa ugly, grizzly, gray halra. Uaa "LA CHEOLE" HAIR DRESSING. HHU3^«hOO^!tal!

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Fox, J. O. Cleveland County Enterprise. (Norman, Okla.), Vol. 21, No. 2, Ed. 1 Thursday, July 11, 1912, newspaper, July 11, 1912; Norman, Oklahoma. ( accessed March 18, 2019), The Gateway to Oklahoma History,; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.

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