The Hennessey Clipper (Hennessey, Okla.), Vol. 19, No. 41, Ed. 1 Thursday, February 25, 1909 Page: 2 of 8
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C. H. Miller, Pub.
Many people regard the minister as
s solemn man. Young people often
io, and are afraid to be themselves
in his presence, writes N. McGee Wa-
ters, D. D., iu the liomiletic Review.
Never seeing him except in the pulpit,
which is a place for seriousness and
dignity, they imagine he always looks
like a funeral and acfcs like * """yer
meet fi< nwful
fathe rit it
boiet '• ivi aa much as it did
us children. None of us acted natural-
ly, and we would not let him. It was
an awful, solemn, and holy time. One
hot Sunday afternon my eyes were
opened. The minister, left to himself
for a moment, came out to us children,
where we sat like martyrs on the
lawn, and, grabbing up a blade of
grass, put it between his thumbs and
blew on it a blast louder than a loco-
motive's whistle. We had been dying
to do something desperate all after-
noon, but did not dare. Mother heard
it and came around the house with the
day of judgment in her eye. When
she saw it was the minister she van-
ished like a dream. My soul went out
in that screech, and to me it was
sweeter than the sacred song. After
that I knew the minister was human,
and I loved him. Of all the men I
know, ministers are about the most
human and fun loving.
"Which of You Three Is the Quahaug One?"
It is a little surprising to find Judge
Barron of the Canadian judiciary argu-
ing in the public prints of his country
against Canadian contributions to Eng-
land's naval expenditures, and uphold-
ing the abandoned principle of harbor
defense by means of a few inexpensive
submarines and torpedoes. It is even
more surprising to find him quoting
Premier Laurier in support of his con-
tention. The accepted theory of naval
strategy now is one of offense, not de-
fense, says the Detroit Free Press. A
nation best repulses its enemies by
seeking them out and destroying them,
according to the tacticians. This rule
of warfare is at the root of Great Bri-
tain's present naval policy. She keeps
her fleets near home, mobilized to
strike forcefully and speedily at any
antagonistic combination. Judge Har-
of a Canadian destroyer and a sub
marine every year for five years, mak-
ing a total outlay of say $2,500,00. The
sum is trifling in these days of huge
naval spending, and, small as it is,
seems to be worse than wasted, if used
in the manner proposed.
Joseph C. Lincoln
Au miob of 'Cap'n Eri" "Partners of the Tide"
Copreionr 1907 A (5 BAf/nei cse ConPtvir
Illustrations or T. D. MELVHJ.
Mr. Solomon Pratt began comical nar-
ration of story, introducing w> ll-to-do
, ,, ,, Nathan Scudder of his town, and Edward
plan contemplates the building ; Van Brunt ami Martin Hartley. tw« rich
I New Yorkers seeking rest. Because «>t'
, latter pair's lavish expenditure of money.
I Pratt's first impression was connected
with lunatics. The arrival of James
Hopper. Van Brunt's valet, gave i'ratt
the desired Information about the New
! Yorkers. They wished to live what they
i termed "The Natural Life." Van Brunt,
It was learned, was the successful suitor
for the hand of Miss Agnes Page, who
gave Hartley up. "The Heavenlies" hear
j a long story of the domesth woes of
; Mrs. Hannah Jane Purvis, their cook and
maid of all work. Decide to let her go
and engage Sol. Pratt as chef Twins
agree to leave Nate Scudder's abode and
I begin unavailing search for another
, domicile. Adventure at Fourth of July
celebration at Eastwich. Hartley rescued
a boy. known as "Reddy." from under a
| horse's feet and the urchin proved to be
one of Miss Page's charges, whom she
hail taken to the country for an outing.
Miss Page and Hartley were separated
during a fierce storm, which followed the
j picnic. Out sailing later, Van Brunt.
Pratt and Hopper were wrecked in a
squall. Pratt landed safely and a search
for the other two revealed an island upon
which they were found. Van Brunt rent-
ed it from Scudder and called it Ozone
island. They lived on the island and
J Owner Scudder brought ridiculous pr. s-
i ents as a token of gratitude. Innocently,
Hartley and Hopper in search for clams I
j robbed a private "quabaugh." Late at j
night their island home was disturbed by !
wild yells. Hopper was found in a fright
at what he supposed was a ghost and he
Immediately tendered his resignation In
: charge of a company of New York poor '
children Miss Talford and Miss Page vis- I
j Ited Ozone island. In another storm Van
j Brunt and Hartley narrowly escaped be-
ing wrecked, having aboard chickens,
I pigs, etc., with which they were to
start a farm.
Some there are who feel called upon
to jest and banter when Mr. Taft trips
what country editors call the light fan-
tastic. This is error. If Mr. Taft were
not a good dancer his case would be
an exception. Stout men are splendid
dancers, when they dance at all. Thin
men, declares the New York World,
are often a sorry spectacle on the ball-
room floor. Their feet flop awkwardly,
they step on their partners' toes and
skirts, bump into people and other-
wise conduct themselves like half-
grown boys. Men of more contour do
better. But the out-and-out fat man,
whom nobody is supposed to love, is
the real hero of the waxed floor. With
too much weight to hop far from the
bounds, he glides. He cannot project
his body forward in ungainly bounds.
He undulates gracefully, easily, gently.
So, when the ladies with whom Mr.
Taft has danced publicly compliment
him they speak truly, from the stand-
point of persons who appreciate.
she says, referring to Van. "Some of
that wet has soaked in and he's got
water on the brain. Take that poor
rooster away from him afore he
squeezes it to death."
Van laughed and dropped the roos-
ter. I cal late he d forgot that he had ! says Van, when I come in.
it. "Let me explain," he begun. "You | , done the honors. ..She.s one of
but you didn't. You must belong to
the church. What are you—Metho-
I grinned. "So you think a ducking
like that would be apt to make a man
swear, do you?" says I.
"Yup, if he hadn't got religion. Pa'd
have cussed a blue streak. You'd ought
to hear him when he has his nervous
dyspepsy spells. Did you say you was
"No-o, 1 guess I didn't. Let's see.
Did you say your name was Dusen-
She stopped and kind of flzzed, like
a teakettle biling over. "Sakcs alive!"
she snaps. "I hope not! l>o 1 look as
if I was cartiug a name like that
around? My name's Sparrow—Eureka
Fiorina Sparrow. What's the matter
No, not 'special. You kind of
fetched me up into the wind, striking
me head on so. unexpected. Just say
that again and say it slow. Eureka
I Peruna—what was it?"
| She switched arouud and stared at
| me hard. "Eureka—Fiorina—Spar-
row." says she, slow aud distinct.
"Want uie to spell it for you?"
No, thanks. You might mix me up
i some if you did. I had to leave school
early. Auy more iu your family?"
"Yup. Seven of us, counting me—
and pa makes eight."
"W hat's their name*?"
"Well, there's Lycurgus and Kditha
aud Ulysses and Napoleon and Mar-
guerite and Dewey—he's the baby
Great names, ain't they? Pa's do-
ings, naming 'em that way was. Pa
says there's nothing like hitching
grand name to a young one; gives 'em
something to live up to, he says. His
own name's Washington, but he ain't
broke his back living up to it* far's as
I can see; and ma used to say the
same afore she died."
"O-o-h!" says I. "I see/' I knew
who she was now. I hadn't lived
around Wellmouth so very long, but
I'd heard of Washington Sparrow. He
lived in a little slab shanty off in the
woods about a mile from Scudder's, and
had the name of being the laziest man
We'd reached the house by this time
and 1 left Eureka Fiorina in the kitch-
en and went to my room to change my
duds. When I come down the Twins
was In the kitchen, too, and I could
hear the Sparrow girl's tongue going
like a house afire. Martin had just
paid her for the quahaugs and she
was telling how scarce they'd got to be
in the bay, and how her brother had
worked to get a few bedded and how
he'd sold a couple of quarts to the
Baptist minister's wife and what she
said about 'em and so on. The Heav-
enlies seemed to be enjoying every
minute of it, judging by the way they
Introduce us to the lady, skipper,"
A Washington court has before it
the question of how far a man has the
right to snore and to talk in his sleep,
and how far another man whom he
keeps awake by doing these things has
the light to shoot him up. The ques-
tion is a delicate one, involving, us it
does, the conflicting claims of both to
the constitutional right to the pursuit
of happiness. Solomou would find
plenty of occupation for his abnormal
wisdom in settling the cases which
come up In the civilized tribunals of
CHAPTER X.— (Continued.)
I rubbed the wet sand out of my
eyes. There on a sand hummock in
front of us was a girl. A queer-looking
female she was, too. Reminded me
some of Hannah Jane Purvis, being
built on the same spare lines and hav-
ing the same general look of being
Hartley spoke then. "Wait a min-
ute," says he, laughing. "I suggest
that we adjourn to the house and get
into some dry clothes. Then we can
talk business, if the young lady is
The girl looked at him. "Business
is what I'm here for," says she.
"Which of you three is the quahaug
"The which?" says I; and the Heav-
enlies both said the same.
"Which of you is the quahaug one?
I've got some business to talk with
"Martin," says Van, grave, and
turning to his chum. "Are you a
quahaug one?' "
"I guess he is," says I. I was be-
ginning to see a light. Hartley's clam-
I ming cruise was turning out as I'd ex-
"Humph!" says the girl. "Well, you
made a clean job, Lys says. About
three buckets and a half, wan t they?"
You never see a man so puzzled as
Hartley, unless 'twas Van Brunt. They
looked at each other, at the girl, and
then at me. I explained.
"I judge 'twas this young woman's
quahaug bed that you and James
cleaned out t'other day," I says. "You
| remember I told you we'd hear from
them quahaugs later."
"Oh!" says Martin. "Awfully sorry,
all corners. She had on a striped cali-1 ^ m sure- m * hope you'll permit me to
co dress, stripes running up and down, I paQ. for~~.,
and her belt went across the middle of . bhe bobbed the sunbonnet up and
the stripes as straight as if 'twas laid
out with a spirit level. I couldn't see]
her face good, for she had on a sun-
j down. "That's what I come for," says
she. "They was my brother Lycurgus'
quahaugs. He'd just bedded
bonnet and 'twas like peeking at her y,mha"8s 13 a dollar a bucket
A London paper gloomily foresees
the future absorption of Canada by the
United Stales and "the end of all no-
ble aspirations in which the largest
minds of the British race have In-
dulged. ' This fear of losing Canada
by its absorption in its larger neigh-
bor Beems to be never entirely absent
from the anxious Hrltlsh mind, al-
though neither the United States nor
Canada itself appears at all either
eag;?r or perturbed over the prospect.
Minnesota is just 50 years old and
Its development during this period has
been marvelous. During the half cen-
tury the population of the state has
grown from 150,000 to 2,000,000. The
wealth of its people was approximate-
ly *30,000,000 50 years ago, and the
assessed valuation of their property
now Is 11,000.000,000, or *500 per capi-
ta instead of $200.
A negro woman when arrested re-
fused to tell her age. A dark secret,
so to speak.
through a nail keg, but she had snap-
ping black eyes and moved Quick,
which wa n t Hannah Jane's way by a
good sight. I stood and stared at her.
"I say you're pretty wet, ain't you?"
she says again, louder. "Why don't
you say something'.' Are you hard of
Before I could get my bearings
enough to answer Van Brunt comes
dripping alongside. He was still hold-
ing the cigar stump In his mouth and
he had one of the Plymouth Rocks—
the rooster, as it happened—squeezed
tight under one arm.
"Well, skipper," he says, "the Ark
has stranded ami the animals may now
—Hello! What? Who?"
He looked at the girl and «he at him.
Then he says brisk:
"Can you cook?"
Whatever that girl might have ex-
pected from us, I guess she didn't ex-
pect that. It set her back so that she
couldn't speak for a full minute;
which was something of a miracle, as
1 found out later.
"Can 1 what?" she says, finally.
"Can you cook?" usks Van Llrunt
"Can I—" Then she turns to me.
"He ought to be attended to right off,"
this time of year. That's three dol-
lars and a half. I won't charge you for
the sticks, though what on earth you
done with them is more'n I can make
out, and Lys says the same."
Van was grinning from ear to ear.
T'other Twin reached into his pocket | btjj
and flshed out a sopping-wet pocket-
"Will the three fifty be sufficient?"
he asks, troubled. "I'm really very
sorry. It was a mistake, and—"
"Oh, it's all right," says the girl.
"You didn't know no better. Pa says
fools and children ain't accountable.
You'd better spread that money out
to dry 'fore you pay me with it. And
you'd better get dry yourself or you'll
catch cold. I can wait a spell, I guess.
Why don't you go after your boat,
mister?" she says to me. "You'll lose
it first thing you know."
1 looked where she pointed and there
was the skiff stranded bottom up on
the tip end of the point flat. I ran
after It, waded In and hauled it ashore.
The Heavenlies hurried up to the
house. When 1 come back the girl
was waiting for me.
"I'll walk along up with you," she
says. "Say, you're Solomon Pratt,
ain't you? I heard about you. Nate
Scudder told pa. He said lieu let
this place to Sol Pratt and a couple
crazy men from New York. I thought
sure you'd swear when the boat upset.
Washy Sparrow's tribe—I mean fami-
ly," says 1. "They live over in the
"I guess tribe'll do," says Eureka,
cutting in quick. "There's pretty near
enough of us to make a town, seems
sometimes. You'd think so if you had
to get the meals for 'em, same's I do."
"You!" says I. "Do you cook for all
that gang? How old are you?"
"Seventeen last March. Cook for
'em? Guess I do! And scratch to get
j things to cook, too; else we'd have to
live on salt air pudding with wind
| sass. I take in washing, and Lycurgus
he goes fishing and clamming and
choring around, and Edltha helps me
I iron, and we all take watch and watch
! looking out for the young ones."
I Hartley spoke then. "We're looking
j for a cook," he says. "Will you come
! and cook for us, and help about the
| house here? Mr. Pratt finds the job
too big for one man."
She bobbed her head. "Yup," says
she, dry as a chip. "1 should think he
might, judging by what I've seen. No,
I can't come. I've got to stay home
and look out for the folks."
"Why can't your father do that?"
"Who—pa? I guess you ain't heard
about pa. He's sick. Got his never-
get-over, he says. Pa's had most every
kind of symptom there is; phthisic
and infiuency and lumbago and pleu-
risy. Now he's settled down to con-
sumption and nervous dyspepsy. Afore
ma died she used to try to cure him,
but the doctor and pa had a row. The
doctor said pa didn't have consump-
tion nor nothing else; what he needed
was hard exercise, such as work. Pa
said the doc didn't know his business,
and the doc said maybe not, but he
knew pa. So pa told him never to
darken our door again, and he ain't—
except to come around once in a while
and collect something from me on the
"Well," says I, "maybe you know
somebody else that would do for us.
Who's a good cook and general house-
keeper that would be likely to hire
She thought for a moment or so. "I
don't know," she says. "Most folks in
this neighborhood is too high toned to
go out working. They'd rather stay
to home and take boarders. Mrs. Han-
nah Jane Purvis is about the only
one, and you've had her."
Martin made a face. "We have," he
"Yup," says Eureka. "She told Mr.
Scudder that you was crazy as all get
out, and sunk In worldly sin besides.
She said you'd get your pay hereafter
for treating her the way you did."
"We hope to," says Van, cheerful.
"Now, Miss—er—Sparrow, we want
yon to come and help us out. We're
Crusoes on a desert island and we
need a Man—I should say Woman—
Friday. We'll pay you so much," he
says, naming a price that made even
my eyes stick out, and 1 was used to
'lllih prices by this time.
"A month?" she says, staring at
"A week," says he. •
She had a queer way of doing every-
thing by jerks, like as if she was hung
on wires and worked with a string.
Now she straightened up out of her
chair so sudden you almost expected
to hear her snap.
"A week?" she sings out. "Oh!"
Then she looked at me.
"Oh, it's so, If he says so," says I,
' Land sakes! A week! 1 never—
but It ain't no use. What would be-
come of pa and the children?"
"Couldn't you come over for the
days, at least?" asks Martin. "You
might go home nights, you know."
And that's the way It ended, finally.
The Twins had made up their minds,
and when that happened, heaven and
earth wouldn't change 'em. At last
Eureka said she'd talk It over with
her folks and Van Brunt said we
would come over to her house next
day and get the decision.
"There!" says he, when the Sparrow
girl had gone. "Skipper, the cook
question is settled."
"Maybe 'tis," says I. "Looks to me
as if you'd settled it the way the feller
settled the coffee, by upsetting It. For
chaps that pined for rest and quiet you
two do queer things. l)o you realize
what getting mixed up with that Spar-
row gang is likely to mean?"
"If the whole Hock is like the speci-
men bird we've seen," he says, "it'll
mean joy. If there was one thing
needed to make Ozone island a de-
light, a gem of purest ray serene, that
original would be the thing. She's a
circus in herself. I shall dream to-
night of pa and the doctor. Ho, ho!
By the way, what's her Christian
I told the name—the whole of it.
How them Heavenlies did laugh.
"Eureka!" says Hartley. "Splen-
"Eureka!" says Van. "We have
found it! Sol, let's have lun^h."
I got 'em something to eat and then
the three of us put in the afternoon
chasing the wild animals. The chick-
ens was fairly easy to get "hold of; I laid
a trail of corn up to the door of the hen-
yard and trapped the most of 'em that
way. But the pig was a holy terror.
He'd had his experience with Ozone
islanders that morning and he didn't
want any more. Up and down that
blessed sand bar we chased him, get-
ing upset and tiring ourselves out. The
pig race over to Eastwich wa'n't in it.
I did most of the chasing; the Heaven-
lies superintended, as usual, and gave
orders and laughed. They pretty nigh
laughed themselves sick. Finally the
critter bolted into the woodshed and 1
locked the door on him. It was six
o'clock when I dumped him into the
sty. Of all the Natural Life days I'd
had yet this one was the liveliest and
most wearing. A week like it and my
natural place would have been the
burying ground. I cal'late I lost three
pound that afternoon. I was getting
so thin that when 1 fell down my legs
made grooves in the sand.
The next forenoon me and Hartley
went over to close the cook trade.
Van wouldn't go. He said the garden-
ing and the shipwreck and the steeple-
chase—meaning the pig hunt—had
given him sensations enough for a
week or so; he had some of em with
him yet. So Martin said he'd go, for
my sake. I borrowed a couple of spare
oars from Scudder, when he arrived
with the morning's dose of skim-
milk and cream and butter, and, as I
took care to row the skiff this time, we
made the passage all right. Then
we walked up to the Sparrow's nest.
Twas a pretty shabby-looking shack,
now i tell you. Shingles dropping off,
and fence falling down, and a general
shortage of man's work everywhere.
But there was a bed of bachelor but-
tons and old maid's pinks under the
front window, and the windows them-
selves was clean and bright. Eureka
had done her best to make the place
homey; you could see that.
She let us in when we knocked at
the kitchen door. Her sleeves was
rolled up and there was a big basket
of clothes by the steaming washtub.
Edltha, the 12-year-old, was grinding
at the wringer and Dewey, the baby,
was setting on the floor playing with
a rag doll. The rest of the tribe—
except Lycurgus, who had gone ped-
dling clams—was off playing.
Eureka, she apologized for things
being so upset, but there wa'n't any
need for apologies. The house was
plain and poor—you could see that it
took a mighty lot of stretching to
make both ends come in sight of each
other, let alone meet; but 'twas clean
as a whistle. Even the baby was
clean, all except his face and hands,
and no healthy young one ought to
have them clean.
"Good morning," says Hartley.
"Have you decided to cook for us?"
She bobbed her head over the wash-
tub. "I've decided it, if pa has," says
she. "He ain't made up his mind yet.
He wanted to sleep on it, he said. I
guess he's done that. Anyhow he's
just got up. Step right into the din-
ing room and talk to him. You'll have
to excuse me; I've got to get thl3
washing done afore noon, somehow."
So she pitched into the scrubbing
bending in the middle exactly like n
jointed pocket rule, and the Twin and
me went into the dining room.
I'tO BE CONTINUED.)
As It Shouldn't Be.
"No," remarked the man who
seemed to be talking to himself, "it
"What Isn't right?" queried . the
party who overheard the remark.
"The wasting of bo much money on
cake frostlngs at a wedding, consider-
ing the future unceasing appetites of
• he happy couple for plain bread," ex-
plained the noisy thiukor.
ALL OF ONE KINO.
"Have your poems been read by
"Certainly—about twenty publishers
that I know of."
Prof. Munyon has generously placed
his Cold Cure with druggists through-
out the United States and has author.
Ized them to sell it for the small sum
of 25 cts. a bottle. He says these
pellets contain no opium, morphine, co-
caine or other harmful drugs, and he
guarantees that they will relieve the
head, throat and lungs almost imme-
iiately. He gives this guarantee with
each bottle of his medicine: "If you
buy my Cold Cure and it does not give
perfect satisfaction, I will refund your
noney." Prof. Munyon has just issued
t Magazine-Almanac, which will be
sent free to any person who addresses
The Munyon Company, Philadelphia.
Not Afraid of a Ghost.
In a village in England, a month or
so ago, a man came running Into an
Inn at nine o'clock at alght and cried
out that there was a ghost In his back
yard. There were 14 men in the inn,
and not one of them dared to go home
with the man and Investigate. There
was a person who dared, however, and
that was the landlord's daughter, a girl
of 14. Some of the men followed her
at a distance, and she went into the
yard and up to the ghost flapping Its
arms about, and discovered—what?
That it was no more nor less than a
man's white shirt flapping on the
clothes line in a strong breeze. That's
about the way all ghosts turn out.
Th« Tactful Suitor.
A youth in Trenton, whose devotion
to the young woman of his choice has
encountered many obstacles during
his long courtship, recently sought
her out with this apparently encourag-
"I think it's all right now, Alice. I
managed to get access to your father
the other day, and while he wouldn't
exactly give his consent I rather
imagine I've made some headway. He
borrowed $40 of me. Surely he can't
stand me off much longer after that!"
The young woman sighed. "Yes,
I've heard about it," she said, "and I
think you've made an awful mess of
it. Father mentioned the $40 and re-
marked that I'd better give you up—
you were too easy."—Harper's Weekly.
ONLY GOT BACK HIS OWN.
Umbrella Had Long Been Absent from
Its Proper Hall Tree.
"Stories about umbrellas," said a.
New York physician, when that useful
article was the subject of discussion,
"are as numerous as fish stories, and
often test just as severely the
credulity of those who listen to them.
This Is a true one: A patient tele-
phoned an hour after he had been at
my office one morning that he had left
his umbrella on the hall rack; would I
see that it was kept for him? My
servant found it, and that evening
wfcile we were at dinner he called, got
th& umbrella nad came in to thank me.
There he told a long story as to how
he valued the umbrella because he had
carried it a long time, and it was just
the right weight and showed a dent
In the silver handle which had been
made by his little boy when he used it
as a hockey stick. I saw my wife
smile while the story was being told.
She understood my wink, however,
and we said nothing. But when the
man had gone away with the umbrella
under his arm we laughed, for we had
recognized the umbrella which I hatf
carried out and never brought back
more than three years ago."
But a Change of Food Gave Relief.
Many persons are learning that
drugs are not the thing to rebuild
worn out nerves, but proper food i
There is a certain element In the
cereals, wheat, barley, etc., which is
grown there by nature for food to brain
and nerve tissue. This is the phos-
phate of potash, of which Grape-Nuts
food contains a large proportion.
In making this food all the food ele-
ments in the two cereals, wheat and
barley, are retained. That is why so
many heretofore nervous and run down
people find In Grape-Nuts a true nerve
and brain food.
"I can say that Grape-Nuts food has
done much for me as a nerve renew-
er," writes a Wis. bride.
"A few years ago. before my mar-
riage, I was a bookkeeper In a large
firm. I became so nervous toward the
end of each week that it seemed I
must give up my position, which I
could not afford to do.
"Mother purchased some Grape-Nuts
and we found it not only delicious but
I noticed from day to day that I was
improving until I finally realized I was
not nervous any more.
"I have recommended It to friends
as a brain and nerve food, never hav-
ing found its equal. I owe much to
Grape-Nuts as it saved me from a
nervous collapse, and enabled me to
retain my position."
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek, Mich. Read "The Road to Well-
vllle," In pkgs. "There's a Reason."
Ever rend the nhiive lettert A new
one nppenm from time to time. They
"re Kfoului1, true, and full of humaa
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Miller, C. H. The Hennessey Clipper (Hennessey, Okla.), Vol. 19, No. 41, Ed. 1 Thursday, February 25, 1909, newspaper, February 25, 1909; Hennessey, Oklahoma. (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc105645/m1/2/?rotate=90: accessed September 21, 2021), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.