The Hennessey Clipper (Hennessey, Okla.), Vol. 19, No. 37, Ed. 1 Thursday, January 28, 1909 Page: 7 of 8
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WHY NOT OWN UNO?
BREAKS A COLD PROMPTLY
WHAT'S THE ANSWER?
A young man stood before his mir-
ror, putting the finishing touches to a
toilet of which he felt justly proud.
He was going to call upon The
Girl's widowed mother to ask her
daughter's hand in marriage.
Everything was ready but his tie.
Before him, on the dressing-table,
rested two creations, between which
his choice now lay. One, a dream of
black, striped narrowly with white,
which he had himself purchased. The
other, a nightmare, which The Girl
had given him for a present—a tie
such as women only buy.
"If I wear the black and white I'll
look my best," he mused, "but if I
wear the one She gave me, I'll please
Then he whistled, walked around
the room, and tied his tie.
The mother said: "Yes," although
there were tears in her eyes, and The
Girl thought he was the handsomest,
best-dressed fellow in the world.
Which tie did he wear?
The highwayman who robs a stago
In some far western solitude
But perpetrates in cowboy style
An exploit crude.
The cracksman who can drill a safe
With tempered tools to serve his need
Can boast not that he has perfoiir.ed
A daring deed.
The burglar who with nonchalance
Can carry off a red-hot stove
Is not the peer of those who swlp
Their treasure trove.
The robber whom wo fear the most,
On whom our eyes with terror look,
Is she who carries off from us
A red-hot cook.
McLandburgh Wilson, in N. T. Herald.
The following formula Is a never
failing remedy for colds:
One ounce of Compound Syrup of
Sarsaparilla, ono ounce Toris Com-
pound and one-half pint of good
i whiskey, mix and shake thoroughly
"Deep down in the nature of every | each time and use in doses of a table-
properly constituted man is the desire spoonful every four hours.
to own some land." A writer in the
ONE OF THE BEST WAYS TO
MAKE MONEY IS TO INVEST
IN WESTERN CANADA.
THOSE FICKLE GIRLS.
"One can't help knowing," said a
dandy, "when one is good looking.
Why, I got off at a small station the
other day in the country, and I must
confess that I attracted a great deal
"Jt doesn't mean anything," said his
friend. "Why, when I get out of the
Srand Central station I meet a crowd
jf men who yell 'Hansom! Hansom!'
at the top of their lungs."—New York
No Solid Ground.
"I hear that aeronaut's wife is suing
nim for divorce. What are the
"There ain't any. She charges he is
always in the air."—Baltimore Ameri-
Iowa State Register thus tersely ex-
presses a well-known truth. The qucs-
tion is where is the best land to bo
had at the lowest prices, and this the
same writer points out in the same ar-
ticle. The fact is not disguised that I
the writer has a personal interest in ,
the statement of his case, and there is
no hidden meaning when he refers to 1
Western Canada as presenting great-
er possibilities than any other part of |
the American Continent, to the man
who is inclined to till the soil for a
livelihood and possible competence.
What interests ono are the arguments
advanced by this writer, and when
fairly analyzed the conclusion is
reached that no matter what personal
Interest the writer may have had, his
reasons appear to have the quality of
great soundness. The climatic condi-
tions of Western Canada are fully as
good as those of Minnesota, the Dako-
tas or Iowa, tho productiveness of tho
soil is as great, tho social conditions
are on a parity, the laws are as well
established and as carefully observed. 1
In addition to these the price of land I
is much less, easier to secure. So, with |
advantages, why shouldn't this i
W'nol ni-n Ponfliln hfl
This if followed up will cure an
acute cold In 24 hours. The ingre-
dients can be gotten at any drug store.
MAKING THE MOST OF IT.
"Don't be alarmed, Miss Hash, this
microscope is merely to enable me to
see what I'm eating!"
Pearl—Yes, I've thrown him over-
Ruby—Then It is all over forever?
Pearl—Oh, no, not forever. I may
drop him a line at any time.—Chi-
cago Daily News.
An Appropriate Name.
Capt. Sealby of one of the White
Star line's boats, was explaining to
some passengers that his company
had considerable difficulty in finding
names for their new ships.
"They all have to end in 'ic,' you
know," the captain explained.
A voyager, who was pale and seedy,
said, as he looked dismally at the
"For an appropriate name, I would
Opposed to Toll Roads.
Maryland, following the recent lead
of Pennsylvania, is moving to abolish
toll j-oads. Gov. Crothers has ex-
pressed tho hope that before his term
Is ended every tollgate in tho state
will be abolished and every road free.
He believes that the work of the good
roads commission will ultimately re-
sult in wiping out the gates. "The toll-
gate," says the governor, "is not of
this age and has no proper place in
this time. It is ridiculous to think of
charging people motley for coming to
—the offer of Western Canada—be
embraced. The hundreds of thousands
of settlers now there, whose homes
were originally in the United States,
appear to be—are satisfied. Once in
awhile complaints are heard, but the j
Canadians have never spoken of tho i
country as an Eldorado no matter
what they may have thought. The
writer happened to have at hand a few
letters, written by former residents of |
the United States, from which one or
two extracts are submitted. These go
to prove that the writer in the Regis-
ter has a good basis of fact in support & ma)d j don.t BUppose shg
of his statements regarding the excel- | thine"
"That's a fine looking maid you have
"Y s, she's darling, and she came
to me highly recommended."
"Knows all about the latest styles of
maiding, I suppose?"
"Oh, so far as knowing the duties
Mrs. Knagg—Did the doctoor see
Mr. Knagg—No; I told him about
yours, and he ordered me away for a
Lecturer—Man owes a areat deal to
woman. They are debts he can never
Man in Audience—Right you are!
I owe my landlady for three months'
board, and I never can pay her.—
lency of the grain growing area of
Manitoba, Saskatchewan and Alberta.
On the 29th of April of this year W.
R. Conley, of Lougheed, Alberta, wrote
a friend In Detroit. He says: "The
weather has been just fine ever since
I came here in March, and I believe
one could find if he wanted to some
small bunches of snow around the
edge of the lake. There is a frost near-
ly every morning: at sunrise it begins manner to enhance their textile beau
knows a thing.'
"But she came highly recommended,
"Yes, she broke the Jaw of the last
man who tried to kiss her."—Houston
Sheer v.-nito goods, in ract, any fine
waBh goods when new, owe much of
their attractiveness to the way they
are laundered, this being done In a
A Study in Language.
"Good morning, Mrs, Finnegan;
was you at the sociable last evening?"
"I did," said her friend, heartily.
"Wint," replied the other.—New
Louie—Uncle, what's chagrin?
Uncle—Well, it's what a stout man
feels when he runs and jumps on a
car that doesn't start for half an hour.
HOW ABOUT THE DIAMONDS?
After the "Spiritual Reading."
Mrs. Howard—And you really mean
to tell me that a clairvoyant foretold
your late husband's death?
Mrs. Coward—Yes, indeed. She said
there were brighter days In store for
me.—New York Herald.
He Led the Class.
Teacher—When the war broke out,
all the able-bodied men who could
leave their work joined the army.
Who can tell what motives took them
to the front?
A Natural One.
"It is a mystery to me why you
prefer brunettes to blondes."
"Since you speak of it, I admit it is
a dark secret."—Baltimore American.
to fade away, then those blue flow-
ers open and look as fresh as if there
had been no frost for a week. . . .
There is no reason why this country
should not become a garden of Eden;
the wealth is in the ground and only
needs a little encouragement fYom tho
government to induce capital in here.
There is everything here to build
with: good clay for brick; coal under-
neath, plenty of water in the spring
lakes, and good springs coming out of
Too Strong for Daddy.
It was raining outside, and little In-
terrogative Irma was in one of her '
worst, or at least most trying, moods.
Father, busily writing at his desk, had
already reproved her several times for
bothering him with useless questions.
"I say, pa, what—"
"Ask your mother."
"Honest, pa, this isn't a silly one
"All right, this once. What is it?"
"Well, if the end of the world was
to come, and the earth was destroyed
while a man was up in an airship,
where would he land when he came
Deafness Cannot Be Cured
t>y local applications, as they cannot roach the dla
eased portion of the ear. There Is only one way to
cure deafness, and that la by constitutional remedies.
Deafness Is caused by an Inflamed condition of the
mucous lining of the Eustachian Tube. When this
tube Is Inflamed you have a rumbling sound or Im-
perfect hearing, and when It Is entirely closed. Deaf-
ness Is the result, and unless the Inflammation can bo
taken out and this tube restored to Its normal condi-
tion. hearing will be destroyed forever; nine rases
out of ten are caused by Catarrh, which is nothing
but an Inflamed condltlsn of the mucous surfaces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for any case of
Deafness (caused by catarrh) that cannot be cured
t*7 Hall's Catarrh Cure. Rend for circulars, free.
F. J. CHENEY & CO.. Tokwlo. O.
Sold by Druggists. 75c.
Take Hall's Family Pills for constipation.
ty. Home laundering would be equal-
ly satisfactory If proper attention was
given to starching, the first essential
being gpod Starch, which has sufficient
Btrength to stiffen, without thickening
the goods. Try Defiance Starch and
you will be pleasantly surprised at the
Improved apuearance of your work.
A Woman's Threat.
"Well, if that ain't the limit," mused
the postman, as ho came down the
steps of a private residence.
"What's the trouble?" queried the
passing citizen, who had overheard the
postman's noisy thought.
"Why," explained the man In gray,
"the woman In that house says if I
don't co e along earlier she'll get her
letters from some other carrier."
why do brides
"To conceal their
presume, my son."
A QUICK CURE.
Doctor—Take this powder. It will
cure that heavy feeling that you com-
Patient—Thanks! How much do I
Patient (paying)—That remedy is
effLctive, doctor! I feel myself light-
Manager—Hurry up or you'll miss
Actress—-I can't find my diamonds
nor my pocketboqk.
Manager—Let 'ip go.
Actress—But niy pocketbook had
nearly seven dollars in it.
"Here, ma!" requested the boy hur-
rying in from school before time;
"hang my jacket up behind the stove."
"Is it wet?"
"No; but teacher sent me home to
tell you to warm my jacket for me."—
A Good Reason.
"Pa's a great admirer of the secret-
"Because it affords him a great
chance to say afterward that he voted
for all the winners." — Detroit Free
True to Life.
Photographer (to father)—To have
the picture more natural, you better
have your son put his hand on your
Father—It would be more lifelike
if he put his hand In my pocket.—
Important to Mothers.
Examine carefully every bottle of
CASTORIA a safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that it
In Use For Over .'SO Years.
The Kind You Have Always Bought.
Mrs. Crlmsonbeak—I see for use
on rural delivery routes a letter box
has an electric attachment which
gives the alarm in the house some dis-
tance away when mail matter has
been deposited within by the carrier.
Mr. Crlmsonbeak—Seems to me it
would be more valuable if it only gave
an alarm when a bill was deposited in
"What does you reckon dey means
by sayin': 'Last of all come Satan?'"
"Hit means dat he waits 'twel all do
crowd Is In an' den whirls in an' nabs
de whole business!"—Exchange.
Reading furnishes the mind only
with materials of knowledge; it is
thinking makes what we read ours.—
Clear white clothes ore a sign that the
housekeeper uses Red Cross Ball Blue.
Large 2 oz. package, 5 cents.
Small Mabel—Mamma, they sell
cream at a creamery, don't they?
Small Mabel—If 1 were to buy some
tan at a tannery, mamma, do you think
they would throw In a few freckles?
Garfield Tea, the Herb Laxative, agree-
ably stimulates the liver, corrects constipa-
tion and relieves a clogged system. Write for
samples. Garfield Tea Co., Brooklyn, N. Y.
What a splendid thing It would be If
people who lose their tempers were
unable to find them again!
ONI.Y ONE "HROMO QUININE"
Thatts LAXATIVK BROMO OUININB. Loo* foj
tho signature of IC- W. UIIOVK. Used tho World
over to Cure a Cold In One Day.
When shown positive and reliable proof that a certain
remedy had cured numerous cases of female ills, wouldn't
any sensible woman conclude that the same remedy would
also benefit her if suffering with the same trouble ?
Here are two letters which prove the efficiency of Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
Rod Hanks, Miss. — "Words are Inadequate to express wliut
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound lias done for inc. I
suffered front a female disease and weakness which the doe-
tors said was caused by a fibroid tumor, and I commenced to
think there was no help for me. Lydia H. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound rnado me a well woman after all other means had
failed. My friends are all asking what lias helped me so much,
and I gladly recommend Lydia JE. Pinkham's Vegetable Com-
pound."—Mrs. Willie Edwards.
Hampstead, Maryland.—" TScfore taking Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound 1 was weak and nervous, and could not
be on my feet half a day wit bout suffering. The doctors told
me 1 never would lie well without an operation, but Lydia L.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound has done more for me than all
the doctors, and I hope this valuable medicine may come into
the hands of many more suffering women."—Mrs. Joseph II.
We will pay a handsome reward to any person who will
prove to us that these letters are not genuine and truthful
— or that cither of these women were paid in any way for
their testimonials, or that the letters are published without
their permission, or that the original letter from each did
not come to us entirely unsolicited.
What more proof can any one ask ?
For HO years Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound has been the standard remedy for
female ills. No sick woman does justice to
herself who will not try this famous medicine.
Made exclusively from roots and herbs, and
lias thousands of cures to its credit.
D.m«r~- Mrs. Pinkliam invites all sick women
to write her for advice. She lias
guided thousands to health free of charge.
Address Mrs. Pinkliam, Lynn, Mass.
All shoes are made in much
the same way.
Here'# the difference.
Stylish White House Shoes fit.
Not the ordinary binding fit. Not
the fit that takes three weeks to
break in. But the graceful fit that
feels snug the first time. And stays
snug and graceful all times.
WHITE HOUSE SHOES
FOR MEN S3.fl0,S4 00,*ft.00aiul SO.OO FOR WOMEN 83.00, S4.00 and •fl.OO
BUSTER BROWN JS& SHOES
ILL.DSTBATEO IIISTOItY OF THIS WHITE HOUSE FKKE
Upon reeolpt ..f <o Ul C„™r will mall ta, t hose
THE BROWN SHOE CO. Ill L" St. Louis. Mo.
WANTBO VOUNU MKN TO UtAKN
Telegraphy and Railway Business
StronKest Institution oftbe hind In the went. Positions
guaranteed all who loam the business, tominerclal
rutlhkHrad street s. wm:hit* ihumjhapii t oi-; .K,
2U1 South Main tit.. *• U. si *r, ■«*., Wichita. iFZua.
A flavoring that is used the same as lemon of
vanilla. Hy dissolving granulated sugar in wa-
ter and adding Mapleine, a delicious syrup is
made and a syrup better than maple. M apleine
is sold by grocers. Send ac stamp for sample
an* recipe book. Crescent Mfu. Co., Seattle.
AT CUT PRICES
'Underwood, Remington, 8m it ti Pre-
niler,Oliver and all other make* at
95to less than manafaeturers' prices. ,Hiina
for compl/te Illustrated list- Agents for Kox > laule
TvoewnVr. Outfitters, wholesale and re-
tail (ieneral ofBee stationery catalog on request.
Westers* M mAloaory and Printing < o.
«U Walnut Street, Kanhab Citv, Mo.
One woman can bp awfully fond of
another—if they are a hundred miles
Allen's Foot-Ense, a Powder
A sensible man Is one who knows
when to let go before taking hold.
Live Stock and Miscellaneous
In great variety for sale
at the lowest prices by
WESTERN NEWSPAPER UNION
KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI
The Reason I Make and Sell More Men's $3.00'
&o $3.50 Shoes Than Any Other Manufacturer
Is becausa I give tha wearer the benefit of tha moat
complete organization of trained experts and skllltd
shoemakers In the country.
The aelavtlou of the leathers for each part of the shoa.
and every detail of the making In every department, Is
" ' I after by the b^st shoemakers In t"
" L. I
Shape, lit better, anil wear longer than any other n
r bv the bist ahuemaV
1 ahow yon how carefully W L Douglaa il
e made, you would then underataud why they bold their
kit/ Method of Tanning the Soles makes them Moro
t'txibleand Longer Wearing than ang others.
Ntmei for Every Meml er of the Puinlly,
Men, llnyt, Women, M ieaes I < htldreu.
For sale by shoe dealers everywhere.
riUITinM ? None genuine without W. L. I)ongla -
bnUIIUIl • name mid price jiampfd on Itottoio.
Fast Color Eyelets Uaed Exclusively. Catalog mailed fret.
W. L. DOUGLAS, 167 Spark St.. Brocktou, Mass.
PUTNAM FADELESS DYES
„„„H. h.i0hi«, and faster colon than am other die. One 10c oackage colon all fibers. They due In cold *ater hotter than an other die. You can d
'wmSlBri^b^at-rfo-toO^BI^k^auC.^ MONROE DRUG OO.. Oulnc,. Illlnolm.
Other Fish to Fry.
"Ma'am, here's a man at the door
with a parcel for you."
"What Is it, Bridget?"
"It's a iish, ma'am, and It's marked
C. O. D."
"Then make the man take It
straight back to the dealer. I or-
dered trout."—Baltimore American.
I long to hand a full cup of happi-
ness to every human being.—Dr. Pay-
FII.F.B CCRED IN 8 TO 11 DAYS.
PAZO OINTMBNT is guaranteed to corn iinv casn
of Itching. Blind, Bleeding or Protruding Plies Id
6 to 14 days or money refunded. 60c.
Better one discreet enemy than two
And the world would bo Just as
well off if some stage-struck people
were hit by automobiles.
no YOUR CI.OTnFS I.OOK YEI.I.OWI
If so, use Red Cross Ball Blue. It will make
them white as enow. 2 oz. package 5 cents.
Know what thou canst work at and
do It like a Hercules.—Carlyle.
Lewis' Single Binder cigar—richest, most
satisfying Fin®\e on tlie market. \our
dealer or Lewis' Factory, Peoria, 111.
Cleaning upsets a house almost as
badly as It does a watch.
Because of those ugly, grizzly, gray halre. Use "LA CREOLE" HAIR RESTORER.o PRICE, Sl.OO, retail
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Miller, C. H. The Hennessey Clipper (Hennessey, Okla.), Vol. 19, No. 37, Ed. 1 Thursday, January 28, 1909, newspaper, January 28, 1909; Hennessey, Oklahoma. (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc105641/m1/7/: accessed October 26, 2021), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.