The Hennessey Clipper. (Hennessey, Okla.), Vol. 13, No. 24, Ed. 1 Thursday, November 6, 1902 Page: 2 of 9
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// rhat is Russia's Policy in
Turkey and Asia ?
INCIDENTS WHICH SHOW
1SI.OW IN THK 1 '.AS
WHICH WAY I HI; WINDS
I'KRN SI I r VI ION.
X
EWSthat a Uu--ian ironclad
has entered tin* Bosporus
J*#. rag despite the agreement of
is41 (whieti was reaffirmed
al the Merlin treaty of tin*
powers in ls7s), to the ef
feet that the straits shall
remain closed to foreign warships, oc-
ca.-.ous in« re jf speculation than stir-
prise. The f/et that the present inis-
iion of the vessel is eoineident with
the peaceful and diplomatic call of
(irnnd Duke Nicholas upon the sul-
fa:) dors not lessen the apprehension
of the M ussnlman population nor blind
the ryes of other Kuropean nations.
We read it was at the "insistence of
Itussia" that the vessel was allowed
to p:i>~ the forts. If the provisions
of the Berlin tren 1 y may be so easily
•et aside for a visit of ostensible
friendli ness, who shall tix the exact
boundary lines where the provisions
of the treaty actually become oper-
ative?
The understanding as it has long
«*\)st i provides that no foreign war-
fchip may enter the Bosporus without
the consent, of the suitnn. The fact
that the sultan in t lie present inst a nee
Ik treating (Irand Duke Nicholas) xvith
nil the honor due a sovereign operates
|)crhaps as a tacit permission on liis
J>art to the presence of the Kussiati
war el. Hut how could hedooth-
frwi.M- nnd remain the gracious host
His o' Tjals object* d as strongly as
ihey i. ired, and llussia pressed the
point. The action of 1 he Turkish cen-
m<ri *,<n suppressing the word "iron-
dad** from all dispatches indicates
tlirii the authorities intend to ovcr-
fo'.li tln presence of the warship by
jgixrmg it another name, and to regard
the teeming breech of ngrcnicnt as
something which has not occurred.
The rose by another name would smell
C.n sAveet; and the fact thai liussia
tablMi dockyard-- in the Black sen;
get posses>ion of the shores of that sea
as well as those of the Baltic, these
two things being necessary to the ul
timatc success of the project; haster
the decadence of l*ersia, penetrate as
fas as the Persian gult', reestablish the
former trade of the Levmnt by appro
printing Syria, and, if possible, extend
the power of llussia to the Indies
which are t he emporium of the world."
I n this remarkable document Napoleon
! formulated a dream as nearly perfect
, from a Kussian standpoint as the
Brain of the mout visionary Ilussian
| imperialist could.have conceived. Some
( li istori: n - a re of the opinion that Rus-
sia, though quick to deny the gen-
1 uirwness of the document, neverthe-
less learned some valuable lessons
from it.
One or two strong writers freely tip-
hold the Ilussian advanee in that qiwir-
t.er of the globe. A fter point ing t o t lie
i fact that the llussia of today is by no
means the oppressive and unprogres-
sive Hus-ia of a few years ago, Daniel
Seelvc (J re gory. I). I).. LL.D., asserts:
"By the plainest principles of in-
ternational law. Russia rather than
(ireat Britain has a right to the Black
sea and to a friendly power a Chris-
tian Turkey or Greece if not a capi-
tal on the Bosporus. She xvill undoubt-
edly us -irt that right in time, and there
♦•an be no settlement of the eastern
«|iie tion by any scheme that either ig-
nores or denies her just claims in this
regard. Ami. Russia's ambition for a
great- outlet for commerce and a ecu
ter of power on the distant Pacific
coast is just as certainly 1o be realized,
for this too is a necessity to the life
and progress of what is in many re-
spects the greatest nation on the
globe. * * * AiU| jj- Russia has all
along had designs on Constantinople,
coveting it as her future capital, she
THE QUIET MAN IN THE CORNER
I lingered o\r a checker game a r.lght or
two a ro;
The one wi.u pl.-yid nK'iinFt me se. med to
have no ghost of * how;
I had' a but <h of lu.-ty kinKs: that strutted
all about
And bullli ii my opponent's ron , who dared
not ver.ture out.
'Wa> over In u corner shrunk a timid little
man.
Who si.tyid right In his station -ver since
tha gine b gan.
H# watchei o .• ci wnitf heili na rching
by with har.ru r ar.d withjorg,
And si ■ ined to be i:iseouragecl'oVi-r star.df-
ing still so long.
But pretty soon an opening occurred two
blocks away,
And not another moment d*d that little
fellow stay.
He bounded) o'er the boar<?ar.d took three
k r.gs In one fell swoop,
Then l u.oedi In my king-row with a xxilil.
ecstatic whoop.
You've known these quiet fellows that Just
sat arour.d and thought,
And never nn ile a noise while the other
r gi <! and fought;
The whole community had come to think
of them ns dead',
Or e bo verj m i it tbat their hope of
fame had fled.
The ( haps with r« e ignition for thdr por-
tion pose nr.i! strut,
Andi -eein to uverio >k the mai wl o keeps
his talker shut.
Hut some day. when 'mist every ore is
looking t'other way,
This <iulet feiI w ,-ets i chance to break
Into the play;
He renches out and grabs things that th.
others hed Ignored;
He puts li.tr. the life-game all the energy
he'd stored
Through all ill years of silence. So you'd
better not forget
The "Mil man In the corner, for he'll reach
the king row yet!
—S. W. (JUlllan, In Los Angoles Herald.
J? '* -*731
' 3.-i
W'i ■ j
r i ■* *
i. A... - i,
, n I T'i k>
I'
• ' f~ '
■•vM - :'-V;
jS-.. - t W I ■ ' •
THE WOODEN
LADY'S LOVERS
A Story of the Philippines.
By W. O. McGEEHAN.
landers should bask in the light of the
I wooden lady's smile. Moreover, these
I rude Americanos had been discour-
teous enough to drive the Fifteenth
C a/adores from a line of earthworks
that had been constructed with much
hard labor, and which had been held
impregnable. No doubt one of these
soldiers, discovering the secret of the
box, would appropriate its contents
after the universal custom of soldiers.
Private Clifford, l\ S. V.. strode into
the San Fernando church one day with
the serenely independent air that be-
trays the western man wherever lie
goes. He looked with covetous eyes
a 11 he ancient banners of Spain hanging
from the rafters of the church-—for he
had a taste for antiquities—and noted
with a pang that there was no way of
:< ppropriat ing t hem unobserved. When
liis eyes rested on the wooden lady his
admiration found vent in an audible
murmur, which aroused Pedro from his
siesta. The murmur was succeeded by
a heavy sigh of regret. The war w ith
Spain was over, and even had there
been that chance the figure was too
bulky a bit of loot for a private to han-
dle. Noticing Pedro, who was watch-
ing him with suppressed rage, Clifford
>aiii: "Pretty figure, isn't it? Who i&
she anyway?"
"1 don't know," Pedro replied quiet-
ly.
"Well, she Is the prettiest woman in
Manila," said the American with a
smile, "and I will come to see her of ten,
if it is permitted."
Pedro shrugged his shoulders.
"There are many pretty women in
Manila not of wood. Why does not the
Senor Soldado seek the acquaintance
of some <>f them?"
"Oh, a wooden lady is safer," replied
Clifford, with a laugh. "She will not
lead one into trouble."
"Quien sabeV" said Pedro, raising
his eyebrows.
After that Clifford often visited the
church and spent hours watching the
figure and talking to Pedro, whose ha-
rned in tred for him grew daily more intense.
He was surprised that Clifford did not
seem to care for money for many
worshipers deposited their offerings in
his presence—and asked himself:
"What did he want?" Then, when tlu*
American was gone, he would whisper,
fiercely: "You are mine mine only.
Querido mai. do not smile at that
cursed Americano."
Hut the wooden lady continued to
smile pensively and remained unmoved.
One afternoon ( ii fiord invited Pedro
to accompany him to the American bar-
racks. Pedro demurred, but the
American insisted, playfully threaten-
ing to carry liim by force. The Span-
iard only smiled bitterly when he dis-
covered that Clifford's brethren were
•upying the barracks of the Fif
THE CAS^
p OF EUROPE ON 1 HE U03PH0RU3.
rtnd
Ins i i
If XV
^\' c:
i 1
lift:
€JU. I
that .
i
lias done as she pleases will be as ap-
parent in the present friendU guise
]j any of her.
_\i r is all this to be regarded as
trim' .'•.'in about nothing. Ilus-ia ha*
jilways endeavored to administer Tut
ikir-1 . rs, and the fact that the ber-
lin tri :i. \ i. g: JI! 11 , to her not in
freqi.;tl,y evidenced b\ little inei
dents like the present one. The je
Alee:.' ul- feature ' f Kussi i's polie\ of
eggt;i ..i '.emeut in the I'lack sea region
it, U::H. while she has all ah ' g pursued
tier sel:is>h interests, she has usually
fwi ed her argununts for interferenee
§81 : k' >h ffaIrs on the atrocious out-
r; -. • s- committed upon the Christians.
has thus been the means of
ng many righteous r( forms,
i- this reason that (iladsione,
chief pokesnuin for the llrit-
a i s, d eel a red in fay or of i h<
u of Turkish authority, was
!' 1 axing a secret understand-
i the llussian court. Subse
tits xvcut to prove, however,
o!s t one \x as alxx k \ - and f i
favor < f justice to the down
martyrs and that he stood
vxi.'i lius-ia i i ]\ ;:s long as |{i'--i.i
Si W 1. hill!.
It is possible of course, that Russia
Jbas bi n g rea t' \ maligned and t hat
tier intentions, ill desiring the deca-
dent e i f tli Ottoman empire, have
been undertaken, as each move in that
eli • *• 1 ii n on the face of it xvould seem
to indicate, wholly for the cause of hu-
manity ;.i;>i are based upon principles
which Gladstone espoused; yet this
neems hardly probable when one re-
vi-w the whole outlay of historical
Ji.-.pye^ing.-- in which Russia has had
t\ ;m<!. Selfishness and then human-
ity, has seemed to i'e the order <>f
prt'ceilence xxith her. The fact that
ir> 'ii the standpoint of humanity no-
liirt \ -.xonld care xery much if the rule
of i I-., Ottoman empire were over
fliri lends more of toleration than
legality to ltussia*B posit ion.
W en Napoleon was stalking abroad
In Kuiopc with his armies seeking
it)i«ini In might overcome and it came
his daring brain that he ought
ti.- i-.mquer Ku- ia. lie manufact ure«l a
trry crafty diKMinietif xvliieh he de-
rhireii to be the "Will of Peter the
lireat." This he made public, offering
It as an excuse for his conquest. One
*>ect. n «'f the document that purport
<*d Ut be Peter the (treat'sadx ice to the
^ut'(-< i ( ing rulers of Russia, re-ad:
"Approach as near as possible to Con-
^itaniinople am! t ox\ a n!s the Indies, lie
%vho reigus at ('■ >nstantinople will be
the real ruler of the xvorld, and, with
that object in i x«.. provoke eontin-
S&t ttui'fc xsith Turl.es am! l'*r- a; e.-
biis eei tainly c\ereised a very remark
able h restraint in prosecuting her
purpose. When she made the peace
of Adrianopie in 1 s\M.), there xvas noth-
ing to hinder her from occupying Con
s i ant inople. W hen she made the or
mist ice • f San Stcfnno, in 1S7S, she
xxas in a similar position; and yet she
was content to stop in her victories
xvith making provision for the free-
dom and safety of the Creek ami \r
menian Christians in Turkey." This
x\ liter further asserts t here is no "pos
itixe betterment in the condition of
< liristian subjects of the Sublime
I Porte that is not due directly orindi
i rectly to Russia."
This hardly agrei - with tin
xi-'xv. There i* nothing xvh
lglishmau as tin
.n predominanci
glish historian p
t lie wa r bet ween Rn i.
Russia was preventec
U Up. "II ( i 'listIII i !*.]•!•
TilK Fifteenth Cazadores
their arms and quartered th
selves in the Church of San Fernando
in the walled city. The} accepted the
capture of Manila philosophically. Of
course, the stone floor of the church
xvas less comfortable than the cane
beds in their cool barracks, then occu-
pied bx a noisy regiment of American
volunteers, but it xvas certainly more
comfortable than the muddy trench
near Malate. Moreover, they were be
ing fed at the expense of the United
States government on savory stexvs
made of corned bet f and hard tack, a
better ration than they had received
for some i hue.
The Philippines are plentifully sup-
plied xvith churches; and, in time of
xv a r, these houses of worship are ap-
propriated for various
pose-. The host is removed, and the
little red liuht that indicates its pres-
ence is extinguished. Then the church
becomes n l.;,rr.i l,s. « prison, or a Some tried their small stock of
wrtre... as th require.. lsh „n hIjlli and the „f t1itr,ird ,
I'tiiro I-Inrtt. of the 1-irst , eompauy dished liimout a generous ra
Spanish battalion, select ed a lit tie side | t ion.
altar for his private apartment. Ile-
cau?e of his rank and a reputation for
inh pur icenth Ca/adores. His coining caused
no surprise among the occupants
Many of the soldiers had made friends
among the Spaniards and Filipinos.
pan-
Engli I.
eh is sc
ic prolm
e in Tur-
ints to
arouses the 1
bi i ity of Russi
key. YoiirFn
t lie fact that ii
and Turkey,
from niare!iin
only by the presence of I'ritisli war
ships which had been immediately hur-
ried to the scene of action in protest;
aii'i that Russia bowed to the inevi-
table xvith no very good grace and ac-
cepted the invitation of the ilerlincon-
ference of the powers a conference
xv herein every relation of Turkey xxith
her neighbors was reviewed and pro-
vided for- only because she must. Yet
even at the conference, the boundaries
of the various Turkish states that were
given a measure of freedom, were ar-
ranged, it is asserted, more in accord-
ance with Russia's policy of weaken-
ing Turkey and st l engthening herself
than of paving the xvax for a united
Turkey under ( liristian rule.
However all this may have been, Rus-
sia's chief inroads upon Turkex since
the xv a r has been ostensibly of a f riend-
1\ nature. When the (iermaiis pro-
posed, txvo c r t lu ce years ago, to build
a railroad in a portion of Asia Minor,
fronting on the Black sea, Hussia vig-
orously protested and secured an irade
from Turkey giving to Russia the sole
puxver to build railroads in.that terri-
tory. Russia's recent advances, though
chiefly commercial, will prove none
the less effective. As concerning dut ies
and revenues and every matter of com-
merce fixed by the Berlin treaty and
in all internal affairs in xvliieh she
has the slightest claim, the strong
bond of Russia is alxvays felt, and her
voice of counsel and command is nn
ever present reality. Uussian diplo-
macy predominates in Turkey. The
incident of her ironclad lioxx on the
Bosporus may be regarded as a mere
straw, xvliieh nevertheless tells xvliick
x\ ay the blind blows.
MILTON MAHKS.
remarkable deftness with the knife
his t itle to the place u as not disputed.
Above the altar stood a life-sized catw-
in g of a female saint, donehundrsds of
years previously by >ome Filipino mas-
ter of the craft. The I'gure was tinted
in colors, at one period no doubt glar-
ing. but subdued by time into a con-
summately natural, pale ivory. The
hair on its head xvas human hair, and
fell about the shoulders in soft dark
masses. The face xvas rather pretty
t|!u n beaut iful, thu- serving to further
tlie illusion of naturalnc>s. Prdroliad
never heard of Galatea, but. looking
at that figure in the dim light that
struggled through the dirty, colored
windows, he at times almost expected
to see the half-shut eyes open, to see
tin girl brush the dust of two cent uries
fr-un the fan ed pina cloth dress with
her little hands, and request him to
ns-ist her from the pedestal. But the
wooden lady remained motionless,
smiling pensively the same smile her
long-forgot ten creator had given her.
Close to the altar rail xvas a little
xvooden box into xvliieh pious Filipinos
were xvont to drop offerings of cop-
per coins aud small silver. When Pe-
dro first settled in the little altar he
discovered that there xvas a tidy little
sum in this box. Of course he realized
that it xvas a crime unspeakable to rob
the church, but Pedro had net a cen-
timo, and he was n< t altogether con-
t-nted with the \meriean vtew and
hard tack doled out each day. So in a
moment of temptation he thrust in
hi> hand ami extracted a large portion
of its contents, lie looked up xvith
the xvooden
K\
iltv countenani
half afraid th:
ok of angry di
But the xv ood
nile pensively.
t tier
-a ppri
■n la.'
xvould be
ti on her
eont intied
for
he xvhispi
w ine si
.f worsh
Fi
ipmos.
den lai
ipers,
the
mestizos am!
shrine of the '
feritigs. and Pedro continued to levy
tribute so systematically that the pa-
dre xx ho collected the money in the
evening noticed no decrease in the rev-
enue. Her Spanish admirer no longer
saiil "(Iracias, dona," but "Oracias.
querido," xvliieh means "Thank*, dar-
ling," and is decidedly familiar, not
to say sacrilegious, in viexv of the fact
that the xvooden lady xvas a saint. But
that xvas partly t he fault of the xvooden
carver xvho had made the figure so
h u man.
Now and then a stalwart \tnerican
nhlier visiting the church,
ap
proacli and pass a friendly greeting
in his broken Spanish. Pedro xvould
rcplx courteously and proffer cigar-
ettes, although he secretly resented
their intrusion, especially xvlien one of
these visitors removed his hat to the
xvooden lady with mock politeness, ami
anothe? addressed In r jocularly in his
oxvti tongue. It xxas not seemly, he
thought, thai the*e herclkk uud oui-
After dinner Clifford took the sus
picious Pedro to the Alhambra, the
largest cafe in Manila, then pat roni/ed
almost exclusively, by exceedingly
thirsty American soldiers. Pedro sain
pled his first American beer am
liked it.
"I xvish that I could take your xvood
en lady friend to America," said CI if
ford, xelien they xvere on the second
bottle.
Pedro laid his glass doxvn quickly
but made no reply.
"But 1 could not carry the xvhole fig
ure xvith me, that is evident," Clifford
continued. "Can't you let me have
part of her. 1 will pay you."
"I will do nothing for pay," replied
Pedro, proudly. "But for a friend-
nothing is too much."
"Don't think me disrespect ful," ven-
tured Clifford, hesitatingly, "but 1
should like ut least the head of that
statue."
It xvas some time before Pedro could
trust liis voice. His fingers xvere itch-
ing to clutch the sharp knife concealed
beneath his coat, but he realized that
this xvas not the place to Use it. lie
xvould xvait for an opportunity, and
then this American ladrone xvould be
effectively blocked in his attempt to
decapitate the virgin and cut him off
from his daily revenue.
"1 xvould try to get it myself," ad-
ded Clifford, "but I can't entty the
church after dark. You could do it,
Pedro, and not be noticed."
"I xx ill try," replied the Spaniard,
xvh en he had sufficiently recovered con-
trol of his voice.
"A thousand thanks," said the elated
American, and slapping him playfully
on the back, he asked; "Won't you
have another bottle?"
But Pedro intimated that it xvas
time to return to the church.
When they started across the Bridge
of Spain it xvas quite late, and Pedro
noted carefully that, xvith the excep-
tion of the American sentries at cither
end, the place xvas deserted. The Pa-
ig river gurgled noisily underneath,
for the tide xvas running out.
ClitYi rd bent to look over into the
myriads of IP tie whirlpools scintillat-
ing in the moonlight. Pedro saxx his
chance, bent suddenly and, seizing him
by an ankle, hurled him into the
treacherous xvater xvith a quick, up-
xvurd jerk. There xvas a splash, too
faint to bo heard by the sentries, ant
Pedro, leaning over, saxx one xvild
hand thrust out, only quickly to disap-
pear. Tht n the Spaniard lit a cigarette
and, crossing to the other end of the
bridge, passed the sentry xvith an ex-
tremely polite "Buenas noches."
Back to the little side altar he went,
quite easy in mind. "You are mine
quorido mia and the money is mine,"
he xvhispercd exultantly, as he thrust
his hand into the clinking coins.
But the xvooden lady only smiled pen
sively in the nmuulijjht.—San Fruft
CISCO %
FUNNY
St ii ii «l* to Itenaon,
Mrs. Hayseed (noticing the fire es-
capes at a city hotel)—1 wonder what
them outside stairs are fer?
Mr. Hay seed- Use yer brains, Miran-
da, if you've got any. This is a hotel,
ain't U?
"(Jtf course."
"Well, a hotel has all sorts of people
in it. and taint likely they all git up at
the same time, is it?"
"I s'pose not."
"Course not. Some goes to work
earlier than others, and some has to
catch trains. I s'pose them outside
stairs is so that the early risers can
git doxvn to the pump xv it bout makin'
any noise.—X. Y. Weekly.
Ilatl the I.miRli First.
An old gentleman xvas xvalking doxvn
one of the streets in Manchester xvlien
he saxx- a boy crying outside a house,
and thinking he might comfort him,
he asked him what xvas the matter. t
"Father's laying the c-carpet down."
"Well, and does that unpleasant
task make you cry?"
"Xo—no; h-he li-hit his thumb."
"Oh! You are sorry for y our father,
I suppose?"
"Xo—no, I 1-laughed!"—London An-
sxvers.
Couldn't Account for It.
Uncle Ezra Wilkins— Hanged it
these city fellers hain't queer. Tliet
young dude thet's xvith us didn't hex
no complaint last summer, but this
season he's alius kiekin' 'bout the
butter.
Hank Hunkins—What's the matter
with it?
Uncle Ezra—Cussed if I knoxv. It's
the same butter we had last year.—
J udge.
Not Imiioiinilile.
"You say the defendant then exe-
cuted a baekdoxvn. Are those the
xx'ords you used?" asked the laxvyer,
who was badgering the xvftness.
"Yes, sir," nnsxvered the xvitness.
"I xvould like to have you inform
me how a man can 'execute' a baek-
doxvn."
"Well, sir, he could hang his head,
couldn't he?" said the xvitness, fierce-
ly.—Chicago Tribune.
Fair XXnrntnfc-.
"Dnn't bother me for money so,"'
Said Mr. Cake to Mrs. C.
'Quit thinking- that this Cake's all 'dough'
Or pretty soon your cake will be."
—Philadelphia Press.
A l.ifiht Sentience.
A gentleman noxv living in this city*
tells the following story of a negro in
Tennessee xvhose son had been con-
victed of killing a fellow-workman. A
few days after the trial the father
xvas asked what disposition had been
made of the case
"Oh," he ansxvered, "dey done send
Johnson to jail for a monf."
"That's a light sentence for killing
a man, don't you think?"
"Yes," ansxvered the darky, "but at
de end of de monf dey done goin* to
hang *im."—X. Y. Times.
Cniiftnliitu;.
"Take back your heart." the letter said-
With tears his eye.- were wet,
Until he found the gift he'd sent
Must he with diamonds set.
-Puck.
DOi ni.i:
MSI! Ml. X r.
SC< II X I DO!. Ul i:*T.!OX.
Father -Stop. Elsie, lioxx many more
times are you goingtoplay "The Maid-
en's Prayer?"
Elsie—Mamma makes me play it ten
times because 1 didn't practice yestei-
day and ten times more because you
came home late last night. I'liegende
Blaetter.
•I II!- XX Imc X i ru inm.
Their lamps wire trimmed and burr.lrg—
So we learn from ancient sor.gs;
Th- y ktrpt them that way, doubtless.
Just to heat their curling tongs.
—Chicago I>ally News.
An Fnrnm-t Sa I n tat i on.
"Ah!" said Biggs, as a prosperous-
looking man who had cordially saluted
Diggs passed on. ^"That's the xvay r
like to hear a man speak. He seemed
sincerely glad to find you alive and
well."
"Yes," replied Diggs. "lie probably
wav he's the president of th* com-
pany try life's insured in."—-Brooklyn
Life.
"Say. pa, hoxv do the astronomer! al-
xvay- know xvlien there is going to be
in eclipse?"
"Why, you stupid! Don't you sup-
pose they read the papers, the same
as anybody else? Heitere Welt.
A Fnther'n Siiiik.
To see m\ happy children play
Doth give my soul delight.
Ill, mother! l.urry up, 1 say.
An; stop this awful tight.
—Judge.
Tel linn: tin* (• o n ti Now*.
Mrs. Youngma -And so my baby I
got th" prize at the baby shoxv? I I
knexv he xvould. It couldn't have been t
ot herxvisc.
Old I'.jrchelor (one of the judges)-
Yes, madam, xve all agreed your baby
was the least objectionable of the
lot. N. V. Weekly.
Te rrilile.
First Microbe Did you hear of the
accident that happened to poor little
Bacillus? Almost crushed to death.
Second Microbe Oh, dear! Hoxv
did it happen?
First Microbe- He xvas sitting on a
gill's !ij> when an axvful man kissed
her. N.. Y. Sun.
Accounting: for IIIm Time.
Jack Well, hoxv diil you spend your
vacation?
1 i! 1 Monday 1 went to the race**,
Tu>si!ay I went to—let's s*e—where
—Tuesday I
Jack - (interrupting)—You went to
the pawnbroker's, of course. lioxx
about Wednesday? Town Topics.
A HueeMA.
First Surgeon I performed a very
critical operation yesterday, yet 1 re-
joice to say that it xvas a success.
Second Surgeon—Ah then the pn-
tient lived!
First Surgeon No, he didn't, but
the operation xvas a brilliant success.
Ohio State Journal.
Ill* Mind Made 1 p.
(iibbs It's no use arguing, my dear,
1 am going to give up our pew in
church. 1 can't stand that nexx preach-
t any longer.
Wife—But, John
(iibbs But nothing.Maria, lhaven't
•lept a xx ink for the last three $UU-
day uicruings,—Tit-Bits,
Xii XIore Suspense.
"Why did you insist on getting me
an upper berth in the sleeping car?"
asked the habitually austere lady.
"Well," answered her irrepressible
niece, "you have been expecting for
so many years to find somebody un-
der your bed that I thought it might
relieve your mind to have all doubts on
the subject removed for once."—Wash-
ington Star.
A II i ther Kind.
First Porter We had txvo transom
guests ct ouali hotel last night.
Second Porter Transom guests?
You ought to learn to speak English.
Say "transient guests."
First Porter But dey wasn't. Dey
got in ovah de transom and out de
same way!—Cincinnati Commercial
Tribune.
Hi* Ruslnrna.
"I hold," said the good feeder, "that
no man has any business to work on an
empty stomach."
"I have to do it very frequently,"
said the stranger.
"1 hen I'll bet you've found it does'nt
pay."
"Usually it pays as much as >100.
I m a surgeon." Philadelphia Press.
An Annnytm; Circumstance,
The er iw i.s xx ill et the orator
With pkiudlts loudi ar.d clear,
Hut, s'.iry l ixv, i oxv and'th. n they fail
T vote the way they cheer.
— Washington Star.
WITII IIKit ALL MGHT,
X' • •-
<
Mammu-Noxv go to sleep, Ethel; re-
member that little angels are xvs;h you.
Little Girl (in strange bed),—One of
them is biting me, ma. — St. Louia
Globe.
An Ob«erv«til' .
Do big man aln' de one dau kick?
An' aeks so imperllte;
It's Jes' die little yaller dog
Dat alius wants tc\ ftght.
—Washington Star.
\n turn I touel union.
"Iienpeck has stopped umaklng
again,"
"Why doesn't he get his xvife to
give him neckties instead of cigars
for birthday present^1fMr^(,'ii\c;uuatj
Commercial Tribune,
i
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Daves, N. F. The Hennessey Clipper. (Hennessey, Okla.), Vol. 13, No. 24, Ed. 1 Thursday, November 6, 1902, newspaper, November 6, 1902; Hennessey, Oklahoma. (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc105069/m1/2/: accessed April 25, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.