Cleveland County Leader. (Noble, Okla.), Vol. 1, No. 18, Ed. 1 Saturday, May 6, 1893 Page: 1 of 8
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7 i,
Cleveland County Leader.
vol 1
noble. cleveland county, ok.. saturday, january 7, 189:?.
no 10.
hie egyptian sphinx.' r®c('n*,y b9on due p just outsida of
1 * * * a subterranean city near Kuchar. II
THE MONSTROUS STONE RID-
DLE OF THE AGES.
I
Hor® Than a Hundred Year* of Work Re-
quired to Carve II—What It Wat
to Repre*riit uo Mau flat
Ever I.earned.
, What the ancient Egyptians ln<
tended to reprosont by tho sphinx tablo near
is writum on birch bark, and contains
two medical sections, two collections
of proverbial sayings and one inval-
uable charm against snake-bite given
by the Lord liuddha himself to
Anandik **.*•*
THE KIND OF GIRL TO MARRY.
Three Young Men Indulge In A Short
Talk on the Subject.
Three young man sat about a round
New York World ro-
with which they lined the avenues
ipproaching their temples no man
hath ever learned. It is supposed
thoy typified the mysterious nature of
'.ho divinity—tho silent, enduring
force of tho mighty spirit which
noved all things and knew neither
beginning nor end. The great sphinx
•f tho pyramid has been the problem
Jf the ages as far back as we can
penetrate. It is bellovdd to have
been soulpturod before tho days of
L'beops. tho builder of tho tirst
pyramid.
Tho sphinx stands near tho eastern
edge of tho platform on which tho
pyramids stand, with its face looking
toward tho Nile. Tho face is twenty-
sight feet six inches long, the whole
flgure 12U foot long, sixty feet high
before tho present work of uncovering
it from tho sand was begun. Around
tho hoad it measured 10.' feet. Mark
l'wain gives one a bettor idea of its
slr.e than wo can get from figures,
when ho says tho block from which
it was carved must have boon as largo
as tho Fifth Avonuo hotel in New
York city before tho usual wasto (by
tho necessities of sculpturo) of a
fourth or a half of the original mass
was begun. This species of stone is
harder than iron—so hard that figures
cut in it remain distinctly defined al-
though exposed to tho weather for
Z, 000 or 3,000 years. A hundrod
or more years of patient toil was nec-
essary to carve it
>. This monstrous stone riddle of the
ages for centuries has stood with tho
head, breast and part of tho back
rising above tho sand. Last year
bl'ugsch liey began to have the sand
cUared away from tho base of tho
sphinx, and now tho paws, and the
oiiapel which they inclose, the large
granite stela and the granite altar are
visible. The hind part of him is
still burled, but his true proportions
Gin now be estimated. So thoroughly
« era tho lowor parts hidden that tho
Arabs in tho middle ages believed it
ty be a standing figure buried to tho
haad in sand. Ho now stands re-
pealed, a form instinct with vitality,
Mho personification of tho greatost
at a child's wedding.
HOW THE LITTLE HINDOO
GIRLS ARE MARRIED.
The Intricate Ceremony Among the
Wealthy Cltlxeu* of llomhay—It
Tt ke« Nine Hour* to Se-
curely Tie the Kuot.
the
porter smoking and sipping after din-
ner cofTeo and their talk fell upon
women.
"I road in a paper the other day."
said one. "that young mon don't mar-
ry as much now as they used to.
YV'hat do you think about that?"
••They don't marry as young now
as they used to because—oh, woll be-
cause it costs more to live and a man
hasn't made enough for two until ho
has reached his ;13 or 34, and tho
girls havo too good a time at home
to want to marry until they havo had
thoir fling. Don't you think so?
Girls havo just as good a timo as wo
do, you kuow and everything is paid
for—no debts or notos or duns or any
thing of that sort."
••Well, now," said tho first speaker
to tho second, "why don't you mar-
ry? You have a pretty decent in-
come, quite enough for two. The
waste would never got boyond tho
threshold, at all events, and you just
said a few minutes ago that you wore
sick and tired of knocking about Now
York; that you had dono it all and'
that there was nothing now to do, and
that you hatod restaurants and apart-
monts and were gonorally bored to
death. Now why not marry and have
a house and homo of your own and be
a useful member of socioty?"
••To toll you tho truth." said the
one addressed. "I'm afraid to. I'm
afraid that I shouldn't like it. That
if my wife was very good and vorv
lovina and of the clinging vino kind
that I should be worried and bored,
and then if she was handsome and
extravagant and accustomed to a lot
of society and admiration why sho
would want to keep it up and go
down to Newport in summer and
Lenox in tho autumn and all that sort
of thing, and dino out all tho timn
and go to dances. I don't say I'd
blaine hor, only 1 should bo of no im-
portance. I should simply develop
into a supporter of a family, who
: wont down town every dav and did
some mysterious thing called 'busi-
ness' and then came homo with soma
monoy nt nigh'. Now if 1 could find
| some nice companionable" —
That's it" broke in tho third, who
fortune lady are pretty much
eamo tho world over.
Later, whon the feasting begins, a
■oparato table covered with English,
delicacies is set for tho Christian*
present Although your invitation
means staying until II in tho morning,
after supper tho ordinary individual
Is glad to say good night in his best
Hindustanee and make his way home-
In this country whoro the march ward in a cab or hotter still, one ol
from "Lohorgrin," a white silk frock
and a fow unintelligible responses
:.hr. set chinese clocks.
3UEER CONTRIVANCES FOR
TELLING THE TIME.
lutomata Made to Move and Soitnd the
Hour* by Propping Water and
Water Wheels— Wonderful
riece* of MerhauUni.
make an elaborate wedding, the bare
idea of a small twelve-year-old girl
requiring nine hours to bind herself
to tho man of her father's choice
sooms absurd in the extreme.
Whether tho outlay of strength and
our own American horso cars.
NOTHING MORE TO TELL.
After Twfliity-Kive Year. the llarUer'a
\ lot I nt Kluullv Itevolted.
With figure swathed in wlilto
cloths and faeo covered with lather,
it was difficult to form a corroot no-
rupees that such an event iucurs has ii()n of tho appoarance of the man
anything to do with tho tenacious ,v|l0 occupied the tirst chair in tho
prohibition of tho second marriage of oornor barber shop. To the most
tho gentlor sox, says tho Uoston Iran- ensual observer it was obvious thai
•eript has nevor boon explained, but u10 man in ulo flr5t chair was labor-
is tho Hindoos are a practical people jnjr under intenso oxcitomouL llo
and an avaricious people, it does not was breathing in short gasps, his
appear unlikely. bosom heaved under tho white towel
in tho first place, with them, to be his hands nervously clutchod the
s woman and unmarried is little cushion seat
•hort of a crime, yot to marry, ob- | "Kino day."
viously, one must havo money. As an
outcome of this, when daughters are
born to tho poor Brahman ho helps
them out of tho world by tho simple
Tho barber was whotttng his razor
and gazing vacantly into space. Tho
bosom under tho whito towol betrayed
new agitation, but tho man in tho
and negative method of not giving j first chair mado no audiblo commont
them food. One man admitted, quite
as a matter of courso. having followed
this up through a long succession of
twenty girl babies. Hut if tho baby's
papa has a financial position that ad-
mits of growing up and is a Bombay
Hindoo (that is, with no prejudice
against Europeans), you may perhaps
•Going to tho exposition? "
Tho convulsivo twitching of tho
facial muscles was noticeable through
tho lather. Tho lips worked
violently, but no sound escaped them.
••How's your folks?"
"See here."
The man in tho first chair had
bo bidden to one of those high func- j j0rked himself into an upright posi-
tions that come for hor nt an ago |
physical strength and tho highest jja(j n()^ V0^ spoken, "that's what I
intellectual force in repose, but alert
and vigilant" Tho lower portion of
tUe shoulders and paws aro covered
with slobs of stona Some of those
rjo already displaced, and there is
dnngor that if the paws remain un-
covered much damage will be done to
them.
Mark Twain, in his "Innocents
Abroad," has this poetical apostrophe
to this mighty relic of the art of an
unknown ago: Tho great face was
so sad, so earnest so longing so pa-
tient There was a dignity not of
earth in its mien and in its counten-
ance a Benignity such as never any-
thing human wore. It was stone, but
at seemed sentient If over imago of
stone thought it was thinking. It
was looking toward tho verge of the
jlandscnpa yet looking at nothing—
nothing but distance and vacancy,
^t was looking over and beyond every-
thing of the present and far into tho
past It was gazing out over the
iocean of time—over lines of century
wavos which, further and further ro-
iceding. closed nearer and nearer to-
igether and blended at last into one
want a companionable girl a good
feller, one who has had brothers and
knows what men aro and how thoy
will smoke all over tho houso. and
don't always come homo at half-past
nine o'clock, and will see tho funny
side of things, and not bo hysterical
ana fussy and complaining, or
haughty and superior. When you
find that sort of a girl, just tell her
that sho can havo me."
And then the conversation changed.
when our children aro playing with
their dolls. In that case, allowing
for tho variations in individual taste,
you will find the alTair something in
this wise:
On entering, tho head of the house
comes forward to greot you with a
profound salaam; then all tho stand-
ing or squatting Hindoos follow his foebly,
oxample. and it is your duty to sa- 1
laam indefatigably in return, but al-
ways with your right haad, else tho
company will think your manners ex-
ceedingly funny, and, what is more,
prove it by lauirhing. Tbe bride and
bridegroom movo about informally.
speaking to acquaintances. The
groom shares with his Western broth-
er tho paradoxical fate of being nec-
essary but unimportant He is no
tieeablo only for a high turban
■•See here. I snyP "
Ills manner was positively foroclous.
and tho barber was translixod. with
consternation.
•You'vo shaved me for twonty-live
years, haven't you?" demanded tho
man.
Tho barbor gulped and noddod
Asked moro than ten million ques-
tions in that time?"
"Kr-l-er-guoss—"
The barbor stammered and looked
unccmfortablo.
"Yes you'vo asked as many as that.
In that timo you havo gradually
drawn from mo my entire family his-
tory, so far as I know it including
tho fact that my grandfather was
hung, which I havo kept from every
body else In tho world. What if I
studded with a priceless number of may ig your purpose in continu-
A Queer Coincidence.
In a murder trial tho othor day In
Brienz, Switzerland, one of the names
drawn from tho jury box was thut of
Uhlrich Amacher. It was tho naino
of the murdered man.
THE CROOKED SET.
Even a lightning calculator may fail
to accurately estimate the speed of an
electric car when he wants to cross the
street ahead of it.
Fogg says he should like to see a
man who, loving his neighbor as him-
^inbroken tide away toward tho hor- I self, is as considerate of his neighbor's
Szon of remote antiquity. It was | dogs as of his own hens.
ithinking of tho wars of departed i A careful inspection of paintings in
jages; of tho empires it had seen
icroated and destroyed; of tho nations
;whoso birth it had witnessed, whoso
jprogrcas it had watched, whoso anni-
'hilation it hau noted; of tho joy and
(sorrow, the life and death, tho gran-
deur and decay, of 5,000 slow, re-
•Volving years, It was the type
of an attribute of man—of a
ifaculty of his heart and brain. It was
.'memory, retrospection—wrought in-
to visible, tangible form. All who
iknow what pathos there is in days
(that are accomplished and faces that
havo vanished—albeit only a trilling
score of years gone by—will havo
some appreciation of tho pathos that
dwells in thoso grave eyes that look
.so steadfastly back upon things they
knew before history was born —before
tradition had being—liana's that were,
and forms that moved, in a vague
era which even poetry and romance
scarce know of—and passed ono by
'one and left tho stony dreamer soli-
dary in the midst of a strange new
ago and uncomprehended scones.
The sphinx is grand in its lonoli-
iness; it is imposing in its magnitude;
it is impressive in the mystery that
•hansrs over its story. And there is
ithat in the overshadowing majesty of
;tliis eternal figure of stone, with itfl
^accusing memory of deeds of all ages,
vhich reveals to ono something of
•hat he shall feel when he shall
ind at last in the awful presence of
j )d.
An Ancient Manuscript.
j The oldest East Indian manuscript
[in the world, and ono of the oldest ju9t strolled out to see If I could fi
existing manuscripts of any kind. 1 - ' ' >•
the homes of the people must more
than ever convince the observer that
the weakest go to the wall.
A detective nipped a man in the
woods three miles north of East St
Louis just as he was digging up forty
bars of silver bullion he had stolen.
Two women recently opened a pri-
vate bank at Malta and announced
that they would pay interest at the
rate of seven and one-half per cent a
week on all deposits of $5 and over.
They soon obtained possession of very
large sums of money, many people de-
positing in this "bank" the savings of
their lives. Unluckily for the shrewd
speculators the police kept watch ol
them and arrested them just in time
to prevent their getting off with theii
spoil. A good deal of the money could
not be found and the police had hard
work to prevent the women from be-
ing lynched.
A citizen of Hartford, Conn., popped
out ir.to his garden at a very early
hour, and, turning a corner, discov-
ered Patrick in the act of digging up i
lot of vegetables. Patrick, seeing th<
game was up. advanced toward th<
proprietor and said: "The top of the
morning to your honor! And whal
brought you out so early this morn-
ing?'' Indeed, Pattick, I just strolled
out to see if 1 could find an appetite
for my breakfast" Then, eyeing
Patrick with some suspicion, h«
queried: ".And now, Patrick, pray tel
me what brings you out so early thii
morning?" "Indade, your honor, 1
uncut gems that make it look neither
comfortable nor brilllunt
Tho bride, on the contrary, is rath-
er charming. Her costume consists
merely of a tight fitting yellow India
Bilk bodice, with yards of the same
material swathed loosely about her
supple body, and one end thrown
over tho hair. Sho is further orna-
mented by earrings, finger rings.
ing . 1-itorrogntlons? I'd lilco to
know, if 1 may what more you ox-
p jet to learn?"
All the barbor could do was to
laugh in a sickly way and murmur
incoherently, whilo tho man in the
first chair rosumod a ro.Him bent posi-
tion.
Maori lilxxa.
. A Maori whose requosts for binnkot!
nose ring and bangles that reach to had at ,M, elloltcd a decided refusal
the shoulder; on her pretty ankles are
tho heavy anklet chains that clink as
she stops. Altogether sha would be
a lovely and pictures |ue little object
if sho wero only playing in tableaux
instead of pitiful real life.
(iBut all interest in her is immedi-
ate'^ snuffed out on the arrival of tho
Nautch glr! >'bey are two or more
hired dancers, wbese performance
appears to be the mo', •velcome and
wonderful feature of the ept're occa
slon. in dress they are no* unlike
our own ballet girls, wearing 'rom
fifteen to twenty gau-/3 skirts; the
longest of those roaches to tho feet
and the others are graduated to with
in half a yard of the waist Their so-
called dance is strange and weird,
iind after tho first fifteen minutes re-
markably unintoresting. It is mado
up of a series of impossible poses, in
parts so slow as to remind one of tho
last twitches of a mechanical toy
when it is nearly run down. As an
Indian ballad has it:
They posture, bub. whirligig, wriggle like
eels,
AnJ all tlio time shuffle about on their
he :1s,
jtoepin? time to the pipers and tointom-
mers' strains
With the clink of their anklets of reionant
chains
When this has arono on until you
are exhausted ana the rest of tho au-
dience is reduced to a state of on-
trancod breathlessnoss the really
haired part of the rites begins.
An adjournment Is mado to an outer
room with an earthen lloor. In tho
canter of which a bright fire is burn-
from tho missionary, exclaimed
"Aapai (good); no more blankets, no
moro hallelujahs," and thereupon re-
turned to the. faith of his fathers,
J No less humorous, though in anotho*
i way. was the plea of a Maori in litiga-
| Hon for a piece of land, lioing called
on to tell the court on what proof lie
relied for his title, ho pointed to th«
j rival claimant and said simply: "1
| ate his father. "—Argonaut
MEN AND WOMEN.
j Gen. Sheridan's sword, which lie !i
| said to have used at Fort Yamhill,
Oregon, is reported to be in the pos-
! session of an Oregon Indian.
f Miss Eunice Iloss Davis, at Dedham,
1 , aged ninety-two years, is
elaitr id to be the only surviving mem-
I her ol the Women's Anti-Slavery
society.
Nathaniel ^ Berry of Bristol, X. 11.,
is the oldest \u ing ex-governor of a
state in the Uniteti States. If he sur-
vives until SeptemVjer 1, he will
be a centenarian.
Jesse Grant the yoongest soa of the
general, who has been quite successful
in the mining business in California,
has settled down with his family at
Piedmont in that state.
Mine. Patti will only sign her name
for autograph collections at tho top of
tho page, no doubt fearing the danger
of having a testimonial for soap or
face powder written above it.
Florence Nightingale, tho famous
nurse, is 72 years old. She takes her
ing. Around this, in the presence of baptismal name from the Italian city
many witnesses, tha young couplo jn which sho was born. For fully
promenade solemnly sevon timesk twenty years she has lived a life of se-
carefully clasping each other's right elusion.
band. By one of tho oldest customs The Hebrew poet Dolitzki, who was
ever kept up they must go always to-
wards the rijrht, because it is a festive
occasion; should a mistake be mado
anil a turn to the left bo taken tho
direst misfortune and sorrow would
be tho result anticipated. In tho
irean time a priest, tho dirt of whose
once white garment is supposed to
add to his holiness goes about ma-
jest cally muttering a lot of mystical
words.
Finally this also is gotten through
with and the coolies enter bearing a
bowl of richly buttered rice. Th
banished from Russia some time ago,
is a resident of New York city. Even
in this country he desires to engag* in
the composition of Hebrew poetry of
the ancient kind.
Among several hundred congratu-
latory messages received by Carl Hefc-
inerding on his seventieth birthday
was one from Prince Hismarck, which
was as follows: "Heartfelt good
wishes, liut the first seventy years
are the best."
The duke of Conuauglit, who will
Whon pooplo speak of China as a
mcknumbor nation, thoy forgot that
;he Chinese knew about evor so man;*
.hings which aro now considered
Mseutial to civilization before Europe
lad any notion of thorn, says the
Washington Star. Not a few of tho
ndustrial arts wero practiced in that
jountry mauy centuries previous to
.heir introdu tion in the Western
world. Gunpowder was invented by
,heso heathen* and theirs were tho
sarliost clocks. As far back as '2636
li C. a gentleman named llwang-tl
ilscovorod tho principle of tho water
.slock or • vlopsydra." It was a very
rude instrument, chiefly for astronom-
ical purpose* and was committed
a) the care of an otlicor known as tho
"clepsydra adjuster." ltconsistod of
kwo copper vossels. ono above and
Dne below, tho former having a holo
in tho bjttom through which wator
percolated into tho lattor. where
there was a float, tho gradual rise of
A'hich indicated periods of timo.
i'ortablo contrivances of this descrip-
tion wero sometimes carried on
Horseback.
Instruments constructed on tho
lame principle woro in use among tho
?haldoans and Egyptians at an early
period. The Invention in Western
\sia was Independont of that in tho
rCast, both being the result of similar
wants. Clepsydras woro subsequent-
[y formod of a sorlos of vessels com-
nunicating by tubes passing through
iguros of dragons and other images,
tho whole being rondorod yet moro
ornamental by floats held between tho
tinndsof genii. The oarliest applica-
.ion of tho clepsydra principle to pro-
luce motion was by Tsiang Hung.
\. 1). 126. who mado an 'orrery"
'epresenting tho apparent motion of
.ho heavenly bodies around tho oartlu
which was kopt going by dropping
.vator. In tho sixth century of tho
hristiun era an instrument was in
lse in China which indicated the
jourso of time by tho weight of wator
is it gradually came from tho beak of
i bird and was received in a vessel on
i balance, every pound representing
i one-hundredth part of tho day of
}A hours.
About thl? time mercury began to
00 employed in clepsydras instead of
s-ator. Just as tho monks of tho
ttoinan church in Europe devoted at-
iontion to making instruments for
measuring time, so tho Ituddhist
rttmas at an earlier period woro simil-
rly engaged In their silent retreats.
Several contrivances of the kind aro
mentioned In Chinese history as hav-
ing boon invented by priests in tnat
country. One was a perforated cop-
per vessel, placed in n tub of wator,
which gradually fillod and &ank at
iho end of every hour. Of courso.
It required constant attention. Tho
'hinose wero tho first to invent tho
form of clepsydra to which the term
••water clock" can alono bo properly
applied —that is an apparatus which
| *endered watching unnecessary by
itriking tho hours, Up to tho begin-
! ling of the Eighth Century persons
; Had boon employed to watch tho
; jlopsydras in palaces and public
i places in China, their duty boing to
itriko bells or drums at every "kih,1'
}r ono hundredth part of a day.
1 Hut at this period a device was con-
' ftructed of four vessels with maohin-
rry. which caused a drum to bo struck
I try day and a bell by night to indicate
| tho hours. Mo description of tho
nrorks of this interesting invention
| fan bo found. Mr. Romyn Hitchcock
in an ossay suggests that tho Saracens
j may possibly havo anticipated the
Chinese in tho invention of these truo
I water clocks. In tho history of tho
i Tang dynasty \t is stated that iu Per-
sia at tho same period thoro was a
clepsydra on a torraco near tho pal-
ace formed of tho balanco containing
twelve metal balls, ono of which foil
evory hour on a bell and thus struck
the hours correctly. It is deemed
not unlikely that this instru-
1 tnont was identical with tho
1 celebrated ono which tho
King of Persia sent in tho year H07
to Charlemagne. In 838 the astron-
bmer Tsiang produced an improve-
ment on all former instruments—-a
I machine arranged on a sort of mini-
hturo terrace, ten feet high and divid-
end into three stories, tho works being
In the middle. Twelve images of
men, ono for every hour, appeared in
j turn berore an opening in the terrace,
j Another set of automata struck tho
hours and eighths of hours. Those
I figures occupied tho lowest story,
j The upper storj* was devoted to as-
tronomy. containing an orrery in mo-
tion Very complex machinery must
havo boon required. As to tho na-
ture of the mechanism nothing is
known except that it was kept going
by 'ailing water.
AN PLEPH ANT'S EMOTION.
Orrrrotnn I7 i'pplliif Winn lla S w
Veatlgv* of hU Mother.
^ Some of the European newspapers
aro telling a truly veracious story of
tho sagacity of a trained elephant
which adorns a French traveling
show. Tho proprietor of the circus
announced that on a certain night his
elephant would play tho Russian
Hymn on a piano with his trunk. In-
tense Interest was aroused and when
tho evening came tho expectant pub-
lic crowded the clrcut to the roof.
After tho usual performance four mon
carried in a cottage plana which
they placed In the center of the
arena. Then tho Intolligont animal
was brought in. paraded with much
dignity three times around the ring
aud then, amid tho keenest oxcite-
meat, advanced to tho piano. With
a mo vomer, t of his trunk ho touchod
tho keyboard, but hardly had ho dono
so when a surprising change enmo
over him. Ho tromblod with foar
and rago whirled his trunk into tho
air and thon with a scroaui of terror
rushed out of the arena.
There was a groat hurrying to and
fro of tho employes, and the circus
proprietor and tho elephant keeper
left tho ring for consultation. In a
fow minutes tho proprietor returned
and announced with rogrot that tho
performance could not tako placo.
Tho fact was. ho said, that tho elo-
phant had recognized in the key-
board of the instr.imont a portion of
tho tusks of his long-lost mother who
had fallen prey to tho Ivory hunters
of Africa. Ho had suggested to the
keeper that another piano might bo
obtained, but that oxpert had in-
formed him that tho animal was so
overcome with emotion that it would
bo impossible for him to perform that
evening. Under thoso circumstances
ho suggested that tho "Russian
Hymn," followed by tho •Marseill-
aise," should bo played by tho band.
The ontainmont was thus brought to
a closo amid tho frantic applause of
tho audionco.
Poor llum 111 Nature.
Mr. C'hugwater has boon reading
aloud to his family tho details of tho
terrible tornado In Minnesota.
"Is that all tliero is of it, Josiah?"
asked Mrs. Chugwator.
••Ves." ho replied, laying his news-
paper down. "I've road to you the
whole story, names of the killod aud
wounded and all."
"I know a great many pooplo in
Minnesota." rejoined Mrs. Chugwater
with a sigh of mild disappointment,
"hut none of thoso names sound fa-
miliar."—Chicago Tribuno.
Mr. sturkpolc'* Memory.
"Your littlo hoy Ralph, Mr. Stack-
pole," said tho teacher, "is quick
enough to ioarn, but I fear you may
have to take him out of school. Ho
shows indications of Incipient oph-
thalmia "
■ liy gum!" exclaimed Farmer
Stackpolo. bringing his list down hard
on tho table, 'if you don't whip that
out of him, ma'am, I will!"
a breakfast for me appetite.'
groom then, as a sacred duty, feeds receive 860,000 as cominander-in-Lhiel
his wife, holding tho oily mixture out of the army, gets as much more fro
lo hor in his palm: afterward he par- i the civil list as a royal duke, for aetiti-
takes himself and does tho proper ! as colonel of several regiments, 85,000.
tiring in wiping his greasy mouth on His elder brother, duke of Edinburgh^
theailken gown of his mother-in-law— does even better.
A Wlttj Judgr.
Lawyer, pleading for tho defendant
—I propose to show that thero U no
man living who is moro pretentious
more bombastic and moro corrupt
than tho plaintiff in this case-
Judge—You forgot yourself, sir.
Null (factory.
Peck, tho grocor—-So you want a
job In tho store, do you?
Freddy Ga/.zam—Yea sir.
"Do you know anything about
arithmetic?"
"Yes, sir.
••How much would ton pounds of
lugar come to at IJ cents a pound?"
"Fifty conts, sir."
••1 tdink you'll do."—Exchunga
SHORT STORIES RETOLD.
The funeral of the good woman oc-
curred at a church in Maine and the
husband was about the only mourner.
During the sermon, which was a little
long, the man thought he would liko
a sir.oke. Accordingly he repaired to
the front steps of the church, lighted
his pipe and was soon taking what
comfort he could out of it. Soon a
neighbor came along. "What's the
matter, John?" he asked. "Lost my
wife!" lugubriously. "No!" in sur-
prisi. "Yes, I have, begosh. If you
don't believe it, go in there and see."
The neighbor took his word for it
One Sabbath morning, when a min-
ister of an Ayrshire established church
was about to enter the pulpit he found
that John, the precentor, had not arriv-
ed. He instructed the beadle, who was
also tollman, to ring the bell for five
minutes longer, while they waited to
see if John came. When he returned
the minister inquired: "Has Jijhn
come yet?" "No, sir," answered the
beadle. "Most extraordinary! I see
no help for it, but you must tako
John's place for a day." "Ah, no,
sir," replied the beadle, "I couldua'
dae that Aiblins I could tak' your
place, hut I couldna' taae John's."
When Gen. Grant was living in Mis-
souri on his farm, a country lad, a
neighbor, who was not only clever,
but made up for his slowness by his
respectable qualities, came to pay a
visit "How's your father, Johnnie?"
said the general. "I'retty well," re-
plied Johnny, with his drawl—"foi
him." "And your mother?" "Pretty
well—for her." "And your brother!
and sisters?" "Pretty well — fot
thom " "Well, Johnny, and how's
your grandmother?" Silence for thu
space of a moment, then: "fihe'
dead." "Oh," said the general, " «r(
sorry, very sorry—rather unexpected,
wasn't it?" "Well," admitted Johony,
"well, rather—for her."
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Cleveland County Leader. (Noble, Okla.), Vol. 1, No. 18, Ed. 1 Saturday, May 6, 1893, newspaper, May 6, 1893; Noble, Oklahoma Territory. (https://gateway.okhistory.org/ark:/67531/metadc108761/m1/1/: accessed April 25, 2024), The Gateway to Oklahoma History, https://gateway.okhistory.org; crediting Oklahoma Historical Society.